#macchu

[erialoves]

Me and my homies

Photo not mine.

CCTO @_yuelight

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Yue 🌙 whaled for ZhongLi (@_yuelight) on Twitter

[erialoves]

I want to love again.

Love is not easy.

It is not simple.

It is not timid.

Yet, it is not boastful.

Love is not mild.

Nor it is wild.

Love is pure.

Nor you are sure.

Love is fleeting.

Nor you are fleeing.

Love takes time.

Nor you are mine.

[erialoves]

Let him go. Please. Please. Don’t contact him. The earlier you release him, the better.

Stay strong my faint heart.

[erialoves]

Trio

I miss us.

I’m jealous of macchu’s love interest. On the other hand, I’m having hard time connecting to rawr. I don’t want us to disband. I love the three of us bonding together. You guys are great and I want to keep you with me forever.

[erialoves]

You are my Favourite

Before, you showed some signs that you are interested in me even if you are not interested with my gender. You hid your identity from everyone and out yourself on a selected few. Thus, I feel honored to be one of them.

As times goes by, we became constants. We are each other’s shoulder to cry on. Specifically speaking, you are my sponge and because of that I show my utmost support to you. We are good friends. You are my bestfriend. We are happy together even though I feel like we are slowly drifting apart. Don’t get me wrong, but I am still encouraging you to love yourself and love others. I am staying with you and continue to watch you love. I am also hoping that your family accept you for who you are because you are one of the best person I’ve ever met.

[erialoves]

I saw a post saying, “what if your whole life is a dream and when you wake up, you are only a grade 1 student.” They say it is very disturbing, but I thought of it and I think I will be very grateful to be back to being a first grader for several reasons:

First, I find my life hard especially now that we have a pandemic.

Second, I’ll get to relieve the experience of being a child again. I’ll be able to cherish my life being a kid instead of dreaming of becoming a college student. My whole life, I dreamt of being a college girl, I forget to enjoy the present.

And lastly, I’ll be able to spend more time with my love ones. I’ll be bold enough to express how much I love and care for them. Of course things like what if I don’t get to meet them again, I think that will be okay too. It means that they and I are correcting each other’s life’s journey. And when its time to meet again, I’m sure fate will bring us together.

[erialoves]

Weak to My Knees

He went missing for a day. All this time, I felt guilty for always sharing my woes and toxicity. He left on a heartbeat. He never mentioned anything even though I always asked him ‘Como estas?’ He took me for granted.

No. I assumed that we are on certain level of relationship where one needs to let the other know what is happening to them.

So, now, let’s raise the wall and make it stronger. Be friends with him, but don’t let him enter your heart anymore. Correction! Turn him into an acquaintance.

Focus on yourself. July is coming. Brace yourself. Build your foundation. Invest on your dreams. Create the life that you always dream of.

[erialoves]

Is This Goodbye?

Brought down my guard for a while and let you in my life completely. I was thinking that you are different from my fair weather friends. I thought you can accept me fully. Me, being jolly and gloomy at the same time. I always have this persona of covering my scars. I laugh. I smile. I socialize. I dwell in sadness as my heart is full of bitterness. I was born this way. I was raise this way. And, you know all about it.

I remember you told me that you love me. Not once. Not twice. But, several times. You also left me several times. Not once. Not twice. But, several times.

Complacent. Relaxed. At home. These were the feelings that I have for you. My twin soul. My crush. My almost best friend. My brother. We share our deepest secrets, regrets, and sorrow. We are very comfortable with each other that there’s no secrets between us. We ask questions and we readily give answers. Sometimes we give answers even if no questions were asked. We are comfortable with each other... or maybe it’s only me who thinks like this. I assumed we are each others’ confidant who is ready to fix each other’s crown when you meet a rough road. I assumed everything.

I am hoping that it’s your me time or whatever as long as you didnt left me like a hot potato.

I still can’t believe you ghosted me for the nth time. I assumed that you understood when I told you that no one deserves this kind of severance.

Maybe this is really goodbye...