#magnet program

[magnet-hell]

My math teacher brought his baby in and

1) babies are very cute

2) babies like it when you smile really wide

3) a math class full of teenagers really overwhelms a baby

[magnet-hell]

Math

Context: our teacher is going on paternity leave for the rest of the month and is leaving us with a long term sub

Teacher: who wants to be the leader of the class while I’m gone? Like who knows this stuff? *points to student* you know this stuff. Do you want to teach?

Student: uh uh what idk what are u saying huh no what uh huh???

Class: .......uhhhh what

Teacher: well the sub doesn’t know this stuff all too well, but some of you have got it down already, so those who know it can teach the class

Class: ......uhhh maybe what huh? Teach the class??

Teacher: whenever you feel the class is slow or maybe you think you know more than the sub, feel free to get up and take charge

Class: really?

Teacher: yeah, man, just go to the board and ask the sub for the marker and just do the problem man. Follow?

Class: ... follow?

[magnet-hell]

Watching a chem presentation

Group presenting: now this thing usually overflows

Thing: *overflows*

Audience:

[magnet-hell]

My Earth Science teacher (the same teacher as my chem teacher last year) showed us the video “Terry Tate Office Linebacker”

[magnet-hell]

I GOT TO PET A BIO TEACHER’S BABY CHICKEN TODAY. IT’S ADORABLE AND NAMED BUTTER. THE OTHER ONE IS NAMED BURNT TOAST AND SHE ALSO HAS A CORN SNAKE NAMED KERNEL. THAT IS ALL.

[magnet-hell]

In comp sci

Context: one the teachers was home sick so the other teacher went off on a tangent

Teacher: so what do you guys do when you get sick? Do you come back when you’re completely better or just after a day?

Everyone: .........

Me: you don’t get sick when you’re a magnet student.

Teacher: ahh

[magnet-hell]

In R+E

Teacher: *showing us some tools*

Teacher: *picks up a wrench*

Teacher: this is like a crescent wrench on crack.

Teacher: .....or some psychedelic mushrooms.

[magnet-hell]

In chem

I think my chem teacher was running out of things to teach us so he brought up a presentation called “Dirt”

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Slide 1:

What is dirt?

-soil

What isn’t dirt?

-an interesting movie topic

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Teacher: this part of the dirt is organic. What is it made of?

Class: organs!

Teacher: .....no

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Teacher: this is bedrock

Student: and you can’t go below bedrock

Teacher: ...actually

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Teacher: humus isn’t pronounced hummus. As soon as it’s pronounced hummus, someone tries to eat it. Don’t eat the humus.

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Student: you have to dig all the way down to almost bedrock to get diamonds

Teacher: diamonds don’t form in the sedimentary region

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Teacher: surficial is a good word. I was looking at Wikipedia for things to put in here and found a lot of good words.

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Slide:

Are we gonna go more in depth about soil?

Yes of course.

Teacher: Are we gonna go more in depth about soil? No.

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Slide:

USDA how could you?!

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Teacher: you know how I determine who are the slackers when kids are sitting in the computer lab? I look for where they sit. The three seats in the back are always people off task.