#marrying young

[theotpoftheday]

Society: You are too young to get married

Me, aggressively registering at Build-A-Bear Workshop: wut

[astro-hotline]

I stand behind the idea that you should wait till you're late 20s to get married, ladies! The average life expectancy is about 80 years old in this day and age. If you get married at say 30 years old, you still have 50 years of married life to look forward to. 50 years is a long time. Why would you rush into that time early? I understand if you feel like you found the one, but why not just date? Get to know each other so you know that it's right. I promise you, you don't have to get married early. Just because society is pushing romantic relationships down your throats does not mean you have to throw away the time when you are truly free to do whatever you want. Go travel while you're still free to have an adventure on your own. Laugh with friends. Have a life outside of romance. That will be the difference between a happy marriage with no regrets and an early divorce with all the regrets in the world.

[piecesofreiss]

"heightened isolation in the post-pandemic internet age"

[passioniswhyibreathe]

I want to marry young, I have no fear in admitting it. I have seen too many family and friends lose the love of their lives too early that i want to spend as much time as i can embracing that i have found the one i want to spend my life with.

[ananke0017-blog]

People always ask why I'm getting married so young. Mostly I just smile, politely brush off their question since really it isn't any of their concern why I choose to do anything. But sometimes I stop and answer. Because sometimes people need to hear, no matter if your 23 or 73 you know when you should marry --and marry for life, when your person gives you the universe when you weren't even expecting a star. When your person does that, you just know. I'm lucky, I found my person young. I only wish the people who have to ask could find their person too.

Me

[princess-in-pjs]

hi, that's so wonderful that you're getting married! im young too and am engaged and can't wait to be married - but we can't yet because we don't have jobs yet. I think it's so amazing that you're following your heart and I wish the best of luck to you and your families.

Hi there :)

Thank you, kind anon! Congratulations on your engagement too :) It’s tough not being properly financially dependent yet, but you’ll make it! I’m so happy that you’ve found someone you want to marry already - I always feel so grateful that I met my love so young, and we have the whole rest of our lives to spend together! <3

[princess-in-pjs]

Hiya, congratulations on your wedding! All the best, but not in a rude way, what's the rush? You're quite young and clearly can't afford it so why not wait and save up?

Quite a few people have asked me this question, and I guess the primary reason is because we want to. For me, getting married to Joe is a public acknowledgement of how we feel about each other, and what we what to promise to one another. It’s a celebration of our love, and it’s a sign of our commitment, and it’s an expression of our intentions (i.e. to love one another through thick and thin, for always). 

We might be young but we have lived together for nearly three years now, and I think it would feel odd not to somehow mark our love and commitment to one another. For me, marriage isn’t just about being in love with someone, it’s about love as a verb, as something that you work on and get better at, and as a promise that you will never stop trying to love someone. Love isn’t something that is passive and just happens - it takes work, responsibility, introspection, friendship. We want to get married now because we want to recognise that love, and our promise to love each other.

As for the cost, we never really wanted the big expensive wedding - kind of the opposite in fact - like an informal, homemade, family oriented wedding with everyone we love and without spending a fortune. Currently our budget is “as cheap as we can make it”, and so far I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends who have pitched in in big and small ways to help us out. My grandma is hand sewing our napkin favours, my cousin is doing calligraphy for our wedding signs, my future mother-in-law has saved a bazillion jars to decorate the hall with and is collecting confetti from the hole punch devices she uses at her work, my parents are paying for my beautiful dress, and Joe’s dad said he will help us out with the catering costs. We don’t want to wait and save up because this is our ideal wedding: one that is built by our family and friends and made with love and care - not some fancy package deal in a hotel.

Just like having kids, there is never a “right time” to spend several thousand pounds on a big party for your family and friends. Lots of couples spend years waiting for the “right time” to get married and in reality, until you set a date and commit to actually doing it you just keep putting it off. While it’s not a priority for everyone (and I completely respect other people’s decisions not to marry young/at all) it is a priority for us, and (luckily) we can afford the wedding we want with a little scrimping and lots of lovely relatives to help out. 

[yangcaffeine]