the prank war
pairing: chris evans x reader
request: “imagine the reader and chris has a prank war” - anonymous
word count: 2.1k
You struggled to open the front door with the bags of groceries in your hands. You tapped your foot repeatedly on the door, trying to signal Chris to come open the door. “Oh come on, Evans. You were here when I left.” You groaned, readjusting your grip on the grocery bags.
Suddenly, the door swung open. “Thank you thank you thank you,” you said, quickly trying to get past him. He reached out and grabbed some of the bags out of your hands. “Let me help you.” He said, softly.
“I knew I loved you for a reason.” You said, as he placed a kiss on your cheek. He chuckled as he followed you into the kitchen. You both dropped the groceries on the counter.
You spotted a tray of freshly baked cookies on top of the stove. “Honey, you never bake.” You said, picking up a cookie and taking a bite. Chris reached out to stop you, but he was too late.
You shook your head while your face contorted in disgust. Chris was a step ahead of you, handing you a napkin. You quickly spit out the cookie and threw it away.
“You are dead, Evans.” You said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. He held his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t do it on purpose.” He defended.
You squinted at him as you took a sip of the water. “Really? You baked for the first time ever and just happened to leave gross cookies on the oven?” You asked.
He walked closer to you, leaning in and pecking your lips with a kiss. “I promise. I baked cookies to surprise you, but while they were baking I realized I read the directions wrong. I may have added a bit too much flour. You weren’t supposed to eat them.” He said, kissing your forehead.
You shook your head. “You can’t prank me and then backpedal. This is war now.” You said, giggling at the childish nature of your conversation. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. “It wasn’t a prank.” He said, as his chest shook with laughter.
“I don’t believe you.” You said, trying to hold back your giggles. He buried his face in your neck as he continued laughing. “It wasn’t a prank. I promise, baby.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your neck.
You pulled away from him, heading towards your room. “Whatever you say. Just be prepared for the war.” You said, winking at him as you left.
Over the next few days, you’d been quiet, too quiet. Chris had definitely noticed. He found himself wondering what you were going to do as payback.
You walked in the front door of your shared apartment. “Chris,” you called out, dragging out his name. “In my office,” he replied. You slipped off your shoes and headed towards his office.
“Hi there, honey.” He said, smiling at you as you entered the room. You walked over to where he was sitting at his computer. “Hi,” you said, softly. You leaned over to kiss him, resting your hands on his shoulders.
“C’mere” he mumbled against your lips, pulling you into his lap. You smiled as he buried his face in your neck. His beard against your skin made you giggle and try to pull away. “You’re like a teenage boy. You just can’t keep your hands or your mouth to yourself.” You said, laughing.
He chuckled, knowing the accusation was completely true. “Look at you. You’re gorgeous, how could I?” He replied. You placed your hands on his chest, trying to push yourself up and off his lap.
He grabbed your wrists, holding you in place. “Kiss me.” He mumbled, softly. You smiled before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips.
“You want to go watch a movie?” You asked him, as you pulled away. He nodded his head, pulling you into his arms as he stood up. He walked into the living room before sitting down on the couch and letting you cuddle into his side.
“You look really pretty today.” He said, running his fingers through your hair as you picked a movie. You pressed play and turned to look at him. “Thank you,” You said, giving him a kiss, “you look pretty too.”
He chuckled, wrapping his arm snugly around you. You leaned your head onto his chest and turned your attention to the movie. After a few minutes, his phone started vibrating. You picked your head up off his chest as he fished into his pocket to grab his phone.
“Hello?” He asked, not recognizing the number. You paused the movie as you waited for him to get off the phone. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I think you have the wrong number.” He said before hanging up.
You unpaused the movie, and he pulled you back into his side. It was hard for you to contain your laughter when his phone began to buzz again. “Someone’s popular tonight,” you teased, pausing the movie again.
He groaned before answering the phone. “Hello?” He asked, frustration evident in his voice. The same voice filled his ears. “Hello, is Timothy Henderson there?” The voice asked. Chris rolled his eyes. “I already told you. You have the wrong number.” His volume slightly increased before he hung up again.
“What’s going on?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. He shrugged, “they keep asking for some Timothy guy.” He told you. Before you could even unpause the movie, his phone began to vibrate.
“For fucks sake,” he muttered. You giggled at the look of annoyance on his face. All he did was answer the phone and almost shout “stop calling me” before hanging up.
“It’s okay, baby.” You said, kissing his cheek. He huffed to himself, looking down at his phone as it miraculously began to buzz again. He pressed the decline button before setting his phone down.
It rang again. Decline. Buzz. Decline. Buzz.
Chris swiftly picked up his phone, and you could almost see the steam shooting out of his ears. “Who the fuck is this?” He asked into the phone.
You heard an eruption of laughter on the other line. Then, Chris’ facial expression shifted. He recognized the voice. “You have to be fucking kidding me. Sarah?” He asked, his eyes darting to you.
You were screwed.
You heard your sister’s laughter as she outed your plan. He hung up and then turned all his attention to you. You stood up from the couch and began walking backwards towards your bedroom.
“You are so dead.” He said, standing up. You turned around and ran to the safety of your bedroom. He chased after you, tackling you on top of the bed. He began feverishly tickling your sides. “Now, you’re going down. I’m gonna win this prank war, so get ready.” He said, continuing to tickle you.
You squirmed against his hands, gasping for air in between fits of laughter. “You’ll never beat me.” You told him.
“We’ll see about that.” He said, leaning in to kiss you.
You knew that Chris was going to get you back, so you constantly found yourself overthinking scenarios.
You both were sitting on the couch reading separate books. You had your legs propped up on his lap, and his hand was resting on your ankle.
Chris noticed that you were starting to doze off. He shook your leg. You jumped awake and looked at him. “Why don’t you go to bed if you’re tired? I’ll be there in a minute.” He said, softly. You nodded, stretching as you got up from the couch.
You picked up your book and headed towards your bedroom. You stumbled into your room, partially due to your sleepy state, also partially due to how pitch black the room was.
You finally made it to your bedside table, and you reached down to turn on your lamp. You tugged the silver chain, and light filled the room.
Your eyes darted to a giant bug-shaped shadow on the inside of your lamp shade. You screeched, jumping backwards. When you noticed Chris chuckling in the doorway, you knew it was a prank.
You turned around, glaring at him. You marched towards him. He continued to laugh and retreated to the living room. “You better run a lot faster than that, Evans.” You scoffed, following him.
You began hitting his arm with your book that was still in your hand. You weren’t actually hurting him, but he put his hands to stop you. “You are such an asshole.” You complained, pushing him back onto the couch.
He grabbed your hips, pulling you down with him. You lightly hit his arm, trying to make him stop laughing. “That’s not funny.” You whined. He completely disagreed, laying back against the couch, clutching his chest as his entire body shook with laughter
“Oh come here, honey. Did I scare you?” He asked, wrapping his arms around you. You pulled yourself away from him, getting up from the couch. “Jerk,” you mumbled before returning to your bedroom.
You knew you needed something good to get revenge for his prank.
You and Chris were both cleaning up after eating dinner. You were washing the dishes while Chris boxed up the leftovers. You felt a firm slap on your ass.
You turned around to glare at Chris. “You’re such a child.” You said, giggling. He snaked his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as you finished the dishes.
You cleaned the rest of the dishes in silence. Chris was just appreciating your company. “Honey, you have to move so I can go dry my hands off.” You told him. He groaned but eventually let go of you. You grabbed the towel off the stove and dried your hands.
“Do you want to take Dodger on a walk?” You whispered, so the energetic dog wouldn’t overhead his favorite word. Chris nodded his head. “I just have to go the bathroom first and then we can go.” He said, leaving the room.
You walked into the living room and sat down on the couch to put on your sneakers. You had just tied the laces when the bathroom door swung open. “You ready?” You asked him, standing up.
“Very funny. You thought this would help you win the prank war? Well jokes on you, I figured it out right away” Chris said, holding something in his hand. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “What’re you talking about?” You asked.
He walked up to you, holding out his hand. “I saw right through it. Did you really think I would fall for this?” He asked you. You looked down in his hand and noticed the positive pregnancy test. “Nice try though. It was an honest effort.” He said, patting you on the back.
You were silent. “Chris…that’s umm, that’s not a prank.” You told him, softly. He squinted at you before shaking his head. “Nope, I’m not falling for that.” He said, chuckling.
You just stood there quietly. “Come on, why aren’t you laughing? The joke is up, you can admit it now. I’m just too smart for your pranks.” He said.
“Chris, I’m being serious. It’s not a joke.” You told him, your tone shifting. He still wasn’t falling for it. “I’m going to grab my phone and text Scott. You almost tricked me.” He said, still chuckling. He started to walk towards his office and you followed after him.
He opened the door to his office, and he was met by a room where everything was covered in sticky notes: the walls, the floor, and even the furniture. “That was supposed to be my prank.” You told Chris, noticing how he had frozen in the doorway.
“Wait, so what about…?” He began to ask, turning around to face you. His eyes drifted down to the pregnancy test in his hand. Then, his eyes darted to meet yours. “Are you really?” He asked as tears started to form in his eyes.
You just nodded, already having a few tears escape onto your cheeks. His hands instantly wrapped around your waist pulling you into his arms. You clung to his chest as he buried his face in your neck.
“I can’t believe it.” He mumbled against your skin. He pulled out of the hug, crying. Then, he cupped your face and pulled you in for a kiss. You kissed him back instantly, smiling against the kiss.
When you both pulled away, you had giant smiles on your faces. “We’re going to be parents.” You said, in disbelief. You had known for a week, but it was the first time you had said it out loud.
“Fuck, I am so excited.” He said, wiping away his tears. He picked you up and spun you around in a circle before setting you down again. “Screw the prank war, this is all I could ever need.” He said, kissing you again.
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