MASH discovering the Omegaverse. I don't really care for the Omegaverse, but the thought of the army doctors from the 1950's discovering its existence is really funny to me... We're ignoring that the Omegaverse was created officially sometime in the 2000's.
I'm mainly making ideas for season 4-5, but I'll mention Blake, Trapper, and Winchester just because I've thought way too much about this. Also other guest characters because why not?
Hawkeye finds the idea incredibly funny, makes a joke about how he'd finally be able to get pregnant. He calls Trapper an alpha or says he wishes that BJ was alpha. Hawkeye makes so many jokes about being in heat as Hawkeye's breeding kink is on full display.
Hawkeye and BJ trick Frank into thinking the Omegaverse is real. Frank goes on to say Klinger is exhibiting omega behavior to which Klinger says "it's not omega to have style". He also tells Margaret that she's acting too much like an alpha. Frank calls himself an alpha and everyone around rolls their eyes.
Klinger is trying to use the Omegaverse to get his section 8. The colonel say there's no regulations against an alpha being in a rut.
Margaret calls the Omegaverse a crude, pornographic, disgusting, world. She complains about it constantly until she discovers that some Omegaverse fiction has great social commentary... she still rejects is as glorified erotica.
Father Mulcahy thinks the Omegaverse is an interesting attempt to apply social issues typically faced by women onto men in an all be it, over the top, and quite peculiarly sexual way. He doesn't have many opinions, but he takes Hawkeye calling him an alpha as a compliment.
Radar is bullied for being omega-like. He says there's nothing wrong with small, pregnancy is a gift, and if the Omegaverse were real he'd be a beta, alternatively: Radar finds out what an omega does in the Omegaverse and acts disgusted, Hawkeye says that he'd love to be an omega.
Potter asks for everyone to not let this wolf baloney get in the way of their work. I feel like Henry would be slightly confused and tell Frank that it's okay to think that he's an alpha.
Winchester just would smirk at the idea and call the poor man's social commentary, that utterly fails to have any value and disgusts all manner of intelligence.
Henry would ask everyone what they think his sub gender would be. Hawkeye says that doesn't, what matters is that he [Hawkeye] could potentially get pregnant in that world. Be the mother he never could and the father that he doesn't want to be.
Sidney finds the human psyche fascinating and desires to know more.
Flagg interrogates people to get rid of the communist omegas planted by the North Koreans in order to destabilize the American military.
Oh my gosh, I loved your spin on the 141 taskforce and Mash 4077 piece! That was so good! I was giggling with the Mash references too 😂 I would love to see another Mash piece, maybe something on the lines of where "bird-eye"(😉) gets slightly hurt, concussion or something while coming back to the Mash unit and 141 finds her?? Please and thank you! 😇
I wasn’t expecting anyone to make a request for this but I’m very happy you did! Also, not sure if your meant slightly or severly hurt, because concussion and slightly hurt I would say are two very different things.
Birdeye Down
CW: mentions of death, violence, medical inaccuracies, mental health inaccuracies, angst, let me know if I missed any.
Bird groaned in the ditch she'd taken cover in. Fuck, she needed to get up. Get a radio, make a call. Get help. Something. Bird hauled her self out of the ditch to check the wreckage. Vehicles were over turned, and scattered like a toddler had run through a set up of toy soldiers. She was fortunate to make it under the bed. There were still enemy units wandering and lazily inspecting their disasterous work.
As soon as one of them turned their head, Bailey dropped herself back to ground, eyes shut. Playing dead was her best shot at survival. She could almost hear her grandfather smiling at the irony. Thankfully none of them came closer to her position, at least she didn't think so. Bird didn't hear footsteps, so she forced her eyes back open. God it hurt to breath. Likely a broken rib...or five. Her throat was dry and sore from laying in the dirt and dust. Her uniform had been torn up by broken glass and bullets grazing. There was a pounding in her head, and her eyes kept trying to shut on her. All of which had been pacthed up by dirt and grime.
Bird Eye snuck a peek hearing transmission static. There was someone on the radio. A loud bang and a flash of light and Bird ducked her head again. Fuck, not even a word of good bye. Bird hated waiting, she'd been waiting for a discharge forever. Wouldn't get a chance for that. Shit she hadn't gotten her mail yet either. Took how long for her to get a new pair of boots. Not death though. Death wanted to expedite their appointments, and this one was personal.
Bailey slipped in and out of consciousness, pulling herself back before she could slip too far. The enemy units were some distance now. If she got up, which her body seemed to be highly against then she would be going in blind. There weren't any soldiers close neough with intact radios. Even then, they would hear it. Wouldn't get enough time to even say good bye.
All she could do was wait. Bird hated every second. Bird was in pain every second.
Price loaded into the vehicle with the 141, and sped down the dirt road. Alex had a couple of medics in another vehicle, with Farah scouting ahead of the small convoy.
"Captain. I've located the wreckage." Farah radioed.
"Less than a click out Kilo." Price called backl. When they arrived, the vehicles were parked, and every man exited with caution while Farah dismounted her bike.
Everyone was scoping around, staying low in case someone dareed to cross Task Force 141. Alex split off with two others and Farah, while Price pressed on with his men. Alex recalled the last time he'd come across a mess like this. At least he wasn't a victim this time. He circled the vehicles and found several men shot and even the one that had tried to radio them for help. A gun shot was all they needed to hear to come.
"Gaz, check em." Price said finding a few men on the ground. Soap and Ghost were at the rear scanning for any squirters. Gaz didn't find any life.
"Nothing sir." Gaz reported. Price radioed Alex. "Echo, anything on your side."
"No signs of life Bravo." Alex reported. Not even a minute passed before the 141 heard shouting on the other side of the danger zone. Then gun fire.
"Soap, Ghost, watch for squirters. Gaz with me." Price ordered. Soap and Ghost kept watch, Ghost nailing a squirter before Price and Gaz got a few feet away. Farah didn't hesitate to come out and grab for a runner, pinning him to the ground. Before she could fire on the other one, Price stepped in, firing into the spine. Farah knocked out the one she'd pinned, while Alex pressed forward, checking the damages. Gaz gave her a zip tie for their unconscious captive.
Price reported the status of the situation. No more squirters, or enemy units. They didn't know what exactly had happened. Only that the convoy was on it's way back from an aidstation. There were still some wounded in the back of one of the trucks. Not many, and another truck was on the way. Price radioed as soon as the captive was restrained.
Soap lowered his gun, following Ghosts lead, checking the vehicles for survivors. A couple. Not many, and not awake. Ghost kept watch while Soap got their bleeding to stop, and tried to wake them. Ghost noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. "Soap we got another one."
Soap eased his way out of the crashed jeep coming over. He recognized the uniform, cursing. A medic. Smart enough to get away so they weren't killed. If only the medic could help them with the wounded they had. Soap approached cautiously, checking quickly for any other threats. Ghost stood posted up. Soap checked the medic's pulse. Weak but still there. "My name is Soap, can you hear me?"
"Y....yeah... no cpr... ribs are broken enough..." The medic said. Soap paused for only a moment as he recognized the weak voice.
"Steamin jesus." Soap breathed, before talking into the radio. “Ghost it’s Bird.”
Ghost called it in immediately, as Soap got to work right away on Bird’s injuries. Couldn’t remove anything yet, the glass could have severed something. There was some blood on her head, just from a cut. Her leg was badly damaged. “Alright stay with us Bonnie.”
Soap ignored the sound of a vehicle approaching, focusing on getting Bailey into the clear. It wouldn’t be precise, but it would be enough. Enough to get her there. Soap got her wounds cleaned, and disinfected. Bailey’s body flinched at the stinging of the alcohol. “Mother…”
“Easy bonnie. We’re gonna get you out of this.” Soap said. Bailey was holding his arm, moving to his leg if he had to pull away. Kyle came over offering assistance. He cradled Bird’s head in his lap, keeping her still so she wouldn’t fight against the alcohol.
“Hey Bird. Fly the wrong way?” Kyle said trying to keep the mood up. Bailey gave him a smile while he kept a finger on her pulse. “Keep your eyes open.”
Bailey kept smiling but her eyes were drifting. Sleep. Rest was good medicine. Kyle started to panic, but maintained his composure trying to get Bird to wake up. “Soap she passed out.”
Soap looked up from what he was doing and cursed. “She needs medical attention, proper attention.”
Soap stood up, and picked up Bailey. He carried her to jeep, her body thankfully light and unfortunately limp. Ghost got into the passenger seat with Price taking notice and getting to the drivers seat. Farah took off ahead on her bike to make sure the route was clear. Alex stayed behind for when the ambulance arrived.
When they got to the MASH unit Tracker burst out of his tent chasing after them, and took Bailey from Soap’s arms, carrying her into the OR. Soap gave him everything he understood about her injuries as he went with Tracker towards the OR. Soap stopped himself at the door look back at his team. They stood there, for a moment, a silent prayer of hope among all of them before Price ordered everyone to return to the site. They would need help.
Soap jogged over to the jeep. Their minds focused on the objective, but lingering in the back of it was Bailey and her condition.
When they returned to the compound, the Major tried to give them lip, but as soon as Ghost stepped forward, lurking behind Price like a shadow, Borne backed off.
The corporal came up to them right away. “Uh sirs and uh… ma’am. If you don’t mind, you’re needed in the mess tent.”
“What for?” Farah asked.
“We really need some blood, I’ve been calling around but no one has any.” The corporal pleaded.
“Take as much as you can fill.” Gaz offered.
“Don’t have any plans tonight.” Alex added.
“Also. Tracker wanted me to tell you that Captain Bailey will pull through.” The corporal said. The team was relieved as they headed to the tent. Right now they were too tired and distracted to do much else. Once again the chaplain gave them a warm welcome before sitting them down for their blood donation.
Bailey was resting in post op with Tracker close by keeping watch over her. Price stepped inside, a bandage on his arm where his blood had been drawn.
“How is she?” Price asked.
“Sleeping right now. Should wake up before dinner.” Tracker said. He reached out and stroked her uncut cheek. Her mouth twitched into a hint of a smile. Her eyes started to flutter open.
“You keep doing that my wife will get upset.” She muttered.
“Hi honey, it’s your work husband.”
“Don’t have a husband… call the army.” Bird joked.
“Morning captain.” Price said.
“The Union Jack himself comes to greet me?” Bailey said, slowly sitting herself up. Tracker was quick to get her another pillow behind her. “Or is the queen in town?”
“Captain, would the boys be able to come in and see her? Farah has been pacing about Bird for a while.” Price asked Tracker.
“No problem with me.” Tracker said, looking to Bird. Bird gave a nod, consenting to their visit. Price started to walk out but Bird called after him.
“Captain… how many made it back?” Bird asked.
“8 causalities. The rest of the wounded made it.” Price told her. Bailey nodded and Price stepped out.
The team stayed in the compound for a while, trying to help around the compound, assisting as much as they could. They even went through some medical training to brush up on a few things. In that time there were many encounters with Captain BirdEye and the 141.
Bird had to write a report about what happened, alongside the rest of the survivors from what they could remember. Most of them didn't see much, playing dead in hopes they would be left alone by the enemy. Bird overhearing the attackers inspecting the wreckage was the only thing they had to go on. They were speaking Russian, at least what sounded like Russian to Bailey. As Corporal Echo wrote the report, with Price present in the room Bailey seemed visibly tired. Price half expected her to pass out right there in the chair.
"They hit the vehicles and... I went forward and then side ways, the glass broke. The vehicle flipped and... I just heard noises, I didn't even think, just started to hit the windshield. Had to force myself out of the seat belt, crawled out. Didn't get rid of the glass enough so it cut me. All I could see was the ditch, and I... I ran for it. That's what I was told in training... felt like a pool ball just hitting against vehicle after vehicle to take cover. The ditch had broken glass from the vehicles and rocks... my head... it was just pounding. I think my leg screamed at me..."
Price had seen Bailey's expression before, a thousand yard stare at the wall or floor, fidgeting and picking at her hands, clearing her throat and taking the time to remember what she saw. Echo kept writing, asking Bird to repeat a few things. Bailey sat up straight to address the corporal directly. Price was leaning against a filing cabinet, arms folded, boonie hat set on top of the cabinet. His vest was off, but nearby and a side arm in his belt.
"What happened next?" Echo asked Bailey.
"I uh... I don't know how long I was in that ditch, but... I tried to get out but there were some guys still there... I'm a medic, I'm supposed to call for help... no um..." Bailey bowed her head, biting her lips, and clenching her hands. "No radio..."
"We can stop Bird." Echo said. "They're already dealing with the prisoner."
Bird just nodded absently. Price pushed himself off the cabinet and approached Bird, offering her a hand up. "Post Op?"
"A drink... dryer than a desert, strong enough to make my liver kick me." Bird said. Price could help with that.
"There's a nurse insisting on giving you some meds, I'll collect you there." Price said, handing Bailey off to a nurse just outside the building. Price then turned to the corporal. "Who is running the interrogation?"
"Oh uh, Major Borne sir." Echo said. Price was in disbelief, surely they could get someone else to do it. "Where can I find the prisoner?"
"Not supposed to say sir it;s classified." Echo said, nervously. Price came closer to the young soldier, keeping his voice low.
"Find out when the prisoner is to be transferred." Price said with Echo repeating him almost word for word before finishing with a yes sir. Farah would probably want a couple rounds with the prisoner as well.
Farah and Bird talked quite a bit. Farah didn’t have much of an influence on their healthcare system but if Bailey could do some training with the ULF she would be grateful. “Certainly need it with the quality of care around here.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Farah said, walking beside Bailey, offering her arm for balance.
“If you want a place to start that isn’t infested by the likes of Borne, there a small orphanage run by an American nurse. Helps a great deal of women and children, she can certainly whip the stubbornest into shape.”
“That so?”
“Have them wailing like rented mules but fingers like a pianist.” Bailey told her, making Farah smile.
Alex met up with the two ladies in the mess tent. He offered to pop up there to meet with her, get a head start.
“Take Borne with ya, he could use a good a whippin. Might actually enjoy it.” Bailey offered.
“Will he be saying mother or mommy by the end of it?” Farah asked quietly leaning in with a mug to cover her shit eating grin. Bailey nearly choked on her water and Alex was snickering until Borne came in. He cleared his throat, but it didn’t stop either woman. Borne ignored them.
Soap seemed to be attached to Bird at the hip. If Bird needed assistance, Soap was close by. Gaz and Ghost sat back and watched as he was practically a puppy. In the mess tent he offered to get the captain another coffee or whatever the black liquidy stuff was. “Juice, I need more vitamins or whatever passes for it.”
“If I could get ya something stronger I would.” Soap said before leaving the table. Bailey smiled and then noticed Ghost and Gaz’s expression.
“What?” She asked. Ghost just returned to his water not wanting to drink something that tasted worse than motor oil.
“The leash and collar coming soon?” Gaz asked.
“The PX has it on back order.” Bailey said. Gaz smiled shaking his head.
“Just remember he eats more than you think.” Gaz said.
“Walk him three times a day.” Ghost added, making Bailey wince from laughter. Soap came back and sat down.
“Thank you suds, cleaning up nicely as always.”
“Oh ya got jokes now?” Soap asked. Bird just leaned against him for a moment getting a smile from Soap. Gaz and Ghost looked at each other before going back to whatever they were working on. Tracker who was sitting with all of them hummed the ending to the song Beauty and the Beast.
Ghost hovered around keeping Borne off his team’s back. He almost wondered what would happen if he didn’t wear his mask around Borne. Send him screaming maybe. Ghost wasn’t one for people but Bailey was an exception. Did her work well, refused to take time off, was still hovering in the operating room despite being unfit to work on anyone.
Ghost found himself wandering the compound on patrol duty. He didn’t mind the MASH unit nor the wounded. Surrounded by death for most of his life, seeing people make it out of the shit alive was a much more enjoyable time.
The nights he wasn’t patrolling, Bailey invited him for a cup of tea, and a small chat. Sometimes a game of cards. If anyone else on call or nightwatch needed a break they were invited in. Father Malcolm and Corporal Echo joined them one night, and Bailey showed the lieutenant how to play Schmear. It wasn't poker, but it was a pretty good game. Bailey wiped the floor with whoever she was against.
"The lord has blessed you in mysterious ways." Father Malcolm commented one night. Bailey didn't say anything, instead shrugged.
"What's the trump suit again?" Echo asked. Ghost held up the low card for him to see the suit. Hearts. Echo gave a nod, before Ghost pushed the corporal's hands and cards closer to his chest so Ghost didn't see them. "Sorry."
Echo played a 7 in trump, Bailey an 8 in clubs, Malcolm put down a jack in trump, and Ghost finished with a queen in trump, winning the hand. Echo sighed, thinking he had that hand. Ghost played a 2 in spades, Echo finished with a queen in spades, Bailey revealed she had the King of hearts and Malcolm sighed playing his ace of clubs. Bailey smiled, pleased with her bid of three points, writing down the points. "Another game gentleman? Night is still young."
"It's 3 in the morning." Ghost said. Bailey continued to shuffle the cards.
"Well then the night is in labour." Bailey said, chopping the deck in her hands. Malcolm excused himself for some sleep before morning prayers and Echo had to finish writing his report. They left Bailey and Ghosty alone in the tent. After splitting the deck Bailey shuffled, and went to bridge the cards. Her hand slipped and the cards flew out from her hands. Ghost didn't flinch but caught a couple of cards, as Bailey slammed her hand on the table frustrated with herself. What remains she had of the deck were smacked on to the table, before rubbing her face in her hands. Ghost was familiar with the reaction but let her calm down.
"You should get some sleep." Ghost told her.
"I've gotten enough sleep. I'm bored of sleep, got no dreams to occupy it. No handsome men or pretty girls to make it interesting." Bailey said, gathering up the cards that had spilled on to the table. Ghost didn't mind reaching under to get the ones that had fallen on the floor. When he came back up he found the deck in her hands and Bailey sighing. Was she fighting back tears? Dark circles were hard to make out in the low light, but he could see them.
Ghost took the deck from her, shuffling. He was going to go back to his bed but how many people say they're bored of sleep? Bailey had found him at midnight and asked about a game of cards, so she'd gotten a little sleep at least. Tracker had a shift in post op, leaving their tent empty except for Borne. As he shuffled he noticed Bailey pawing at her eyes.
"What you have is normal." He told her dealing the cards. Bailey just nodded. "Should talk to a psychiatrist though."
"Taking advice from the guy who wears a balaclava 24/7." Bailey said looking at her cards. "Usually there's more booze involved."
"More smart ass comments and sarcasm." Ghost said.
"It's a second language for me. I'm fine, I'll bounce back." Bailey argued. "Why do you wear a mask? Just to hide your face?"
“Just too good looking for you to handle.” Ghost teased. Bailey smiled.
Gaz got to sit in on the interrogation. God Borne was shit. He’d seen better questioning from a rookie to a serial killer. Borne pulled rank so much, Kyle wanted to take Borne's chest candy and shove it down his throat. At least he could put his rank where his mouth was. Kyle was leaning back against the wall while Borne repeated the same questions. The Major definitely wouldn't like his methods of interrogation. Kyle was about to make an example out of Borne when there was a hard pounding on the door. The Majhor straightened and Kyle opened the door, despite Borne's protest.
"Orders from HQ sir." Echo said, walking in. Captain Price was right behind him, stepping inside.
"What orders?" Borne demanded, swiping the papers from the corporal. Borne looked over the documents and looked at Echo. "You think this is funny corporal?"
"No sir! They're from the Central Intelligence Agency." Echo said. Borne looked over the papers again. "That's the CIA."
"I know what it means!" Borne snapped. Borne looked between Gaz and Price before storming out. Kyle had seen plenty of pissed off people in his time, but no one as animated or cartoonish as Borne. Kyle hid his smile, peering around the door to see Borne still fuming.
"Corporal who exactly gave you those orders?" Kyle asked, shutting the door. The corporal adjusted his glasses, and cleared his throat.
"Uh..." Echo looked at the Konni soldier, who Price was now standing over, nudging him. Echo went over to Kyle, gesturing for Kyle to lower himself, so he could whisper. "Section Chief Laswell."
Kyle had to bite back his grin. "Thanks Corporal. You better run, this will be kind of ugly."
"Yes sirs." Echo said, before scurrying out of the room. Kyle looked over to Price hearing knuckles being cracked.
"Now... let's wake him up." Price said.
Kyle went to post op, where he found Bailey doing some rounds with a small limp. Farah and Alex offered assistance to the other nurses and doctors, translating for their patients. Kyle waited off to the side until they weren't occupied. It took some time, to the point Kyle could recline on a cot until a nurse butted him out for taking up space. Alex came over to him to chat for a bit.
Tracker came in and went over to Bailey, putting a hand on her shoulder. She was sitting on a cot with a wounded soldier, looking over his vitals. Tracker helped Bailey to her feet, and came over to the two men while Farah continued to translate for Tracker. Bailey had a hand in her pocket as she came over.
"Gentlemen if you're looking for a new mattress I could recommend much better locations." Bailey said.
"How's the leg?" Gaz asked.
"A few nurses are calling me House instead of Bird." Bailey replied. "All I'm missing is a cane and a sex change. What can I do you for? 20 bucks?"
"We talked to the Konni soldier." Kyle said quietly. Bailey ushered Kyle out. Alex intended to hear more about it later. A nurse was asking for help with another patient. Outside post op Bailey told Kyle to continue.
"It was an easy target, plenty of wounded, little to no resistance, reduce a few numbers, even plant evidence to make it look like it was AQ." Kyle explained.
"An easy target." Bailey said, pacing awkwardly with her leg. The doctor stared at the ground as she walked. An easy fucking target, that's what they were. A chance to make an example. Bailey felt sick and disgusted. Out of all the people in the convoy that were able bodied, she was probably the only one who hadn't been armed. Bailey look up at on of the parked trucks, seeing the same wounded soldier, sitting, and trying to radio for help. His hand reached the button, and he had maybe five seconds to get help. Bailey flinched hearing a gun shot and the soldier falling to the ground. It replayed. And then again. And then again. Each time she tried remember what the soldier had on his person, but she couldn't remember the gun.
Bailey gave up, rubbing her eyes and pacing back to Kyle. She was fighting to stay calm, but the lump in her throat was overwhelming and every time she blinked, tears fell. Kyle stood there as Bailey sighed, her voice broken with emotion. "An easy fucking target..."
Kyle didn't hesitate, to hug Bailey. It took a different kind of person to make it through a place like this. Bailey was still fighting the number of feelings she had. The hug made it a struggle, but if Kyle didn't hold her, not even she knew what her next step would be. Right now she needed to be grounded, given a chance to regain some senses. Fucking hell, how did her grandfather ever manage this?
"Orders for me Captain?" Kyle asked. At first Bailey thought he was talking to Price, and straightened. Bailey turned to wipe the tears away and looked around. Then she realized Kyle was talking to her.
"... A drink... and a pen and paper." Bailey ordered, taking his arm. Kyle took her back to the Swamp. Bailey started writing to her grandfather.
Bird was still awake, still writing and still drinking. Water, this time. She needed to deal with her pain, and she couldn't do that intoxicated. Not the way she wanted. Bailey was writing to her grandfather, hoping he might have some snarky words of wisdom from his own experience. The doctor winced, dropping her pen once she finished her sentence.
Price sat down across from her while she took a sip. He set down mug.
"Coffee?" Bailey inquired.
"Yeah well, I'm a long way from a proper pint." Price said.
"Could add a shot of rubbing alcohol. Might reduce the oily death taste." Bird suggested, sipping her water, and stretching her hand.
"Want help or is it intimate?" Price asked.
"Letter to my grandfather. Need someone to tell me how to deal with this." Bailey admitted, picking up the pen again. "Someone whose heart isn't made of brass. Ah."
Bailey dropped her pen wincing. Her wrist needed more time to relax. Price glanced at the letter and made out enough of her chicken scratch to get an idea of the letter's content. Bailey sighed, taking another sip of water. "When is your departure?"
"Day after tomorrow." Price answered. "You've convinced the commander to get more of her forces to assist with translations."
"If Borne isn't manning border control." Bailey said, setting down her mug. "Price, can I be fully blunt with you?"
"You're asking first." Price said. "It must be serious."
"The past few days have been nothing but self loathing, drinking, painkillers, and trying to control a rollercoaster of optimism and pessimism all while realism is threatening to break down the door. I'm bordering on stable and psychopathic. I want to storm into the nearest Konni Base filled with rage, while telling myself I'll leave full of lead. The only thing keeping me here is a still healing limp, the endless opportunities to fuck with Borne, and... and the convoy." Bailey said taking another drink. The luke warm liquid was admittedly soothing against her dry throat.
"You want to see the world burn to the ground, while wanting to put it out." Price clarified. He was spot on.
"The kid that radioed for help. I saw him. I could've gone to him, could have run out to another soldier and take their radio to call for help, could have given myself up and hope for mercy. Since Kyle told me why we were hit I keep thinking about getting a gun. That's the last thing I want to do, it was the one thing I didn't want since coming here." Bailey confessed. "Yet you go through all kinds of shit, every day, with more than a gun, and you're able to stomach that crap in your mug. Literally and figuratively. I don't get it."
"We get dirty, and the world stays clean." Price said. "I've dealt with a lot of shit, and learned a lot. Killed plenty of people, that's my job. Your job is to put them back together. You take an oath to do no unnecessary harm, and you live up to it. Don't lose your loyalty to it, because you'd make a shit soldier."
Bailey chuckled and pawed at her eye. "I needed that."
"You're doing good work, don't change that. The reality is, if you weren't holding on, in a ditch and out of sight, there's a much higher chance you would be dead right now, and the world would lose a fine surgeon and doctor, with many wounded following behind." Price told her.
"Needed to hear that too." Bailey said softly. She took a moment to fully process what was said, before glancing at her letter. What she wanted to say, had been said. The rest could wait until tomorrow. Bailey tore a fresh sheet from the pad of paper and set it down. "Can I interest you in some cards Captain?"
Price smiled. "Sure. You shuffle, I'll get myself something to wash this shit out of my system."
Hawkeye Pierce (naturally) is the waitstaff.
Who is the cook, and what diner food does the cook make?
Pick your MASH 4077th character to be the cook and then reblog with the diner menu that the cook is going to produce.
my friend challenged me to write this and a billion ideas immediately spawned in my head but I don't have the motivation to write a proper fic.
-Since House would be too old to he drafted in the army and wouldn't willingly serve his country if his life depended on it, Ive decided that Wilson enlisted him as a prank during a very heated prank war.
-It would be during later seasons so I can draw parallels between BJ and Wilson, but I very much believe Trapper and House would've gotten along
-There would be episodes/chapters/what have you where Houses medication got caught up in supply, or he's forced to sacrifice it like Klinger does with his thread.
-Hawkeye and House would bond early on over their best friends lovers being psychosexual maniacs. "He enlisted me. As a prank." "He sent me into a severe episode of paranoia and then laughed at me." and then they pine about it
-BJ and Hawkeye would constantly call him Gregory/Greg instead of House, and it would annoy him to no end. (Eventually he stops this by calling Hawkeye Benjamin all the time, and after having an even more extreme reaction to BJ not explaining the acronym than Hawkeye had, gets BJ to stop by calling him Blow Job all the time.)
-Charles would have mixed feelings about house when he arrives due to knowing a lot about PPBTH's reputation.
-I think he and Sidney should have a sass off, punch eachother, then have a drink together.
-Potter would fucking hate him. BJs insanity mixed with Hawkeyes disregard for the rules without any of their good hearted natures. If only he werent such a damn good doctor.
-Mulcahy would hate him even more than he dislikes Charles. He would officially become the one person Mulcahy actively hates, I think.
-Radar would be terrified of him.
-To everyone's surprise, he and Klinger get along. Klinger wasnt afraid to push back, and House respects this about him. That being said he still constantly calls him slurs, but people quickly realize he doesnt actually discriminate.
-House would probobly go to bat for Klinger tbh
-House despises Mulcahy even more than the Father does in return, because of his immediate hate for all things religious. Never gives up an opportunity to argue religion with this man.
