Hello there! It is I, your assigned guardian angel! Yes, yes, it is good to see you as well. So, to get to the point, you will perish of starvation in roughly six months, but we can't have that. I'd get fired, you see. And in this case, being fired means I would also cease to exist. And I just started to enjoy existing again, so it would be best to avoid this! Thankfully, after some observation and research, this is an entirely preventable situation! There is more than enough food to sustain you for your natural life without interfering with the survival of anyone else! Hmm, that's not good. Apparently, you aren't allowed access to any of it, because of bureaucratic red tape, and your death has been entirely premeditated (albeit indirectly and non-specifically) by other humans known as "shareholders". That's no good at all! So, I've been taking drastic measures and Signore Crow may be a bit cross with me,
