These special undergarments provide a final line of defense against not only the elements, but also against sinister magics and curses. The only downside is that they only come in a particularly unfortunate polka-dot pattern...
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These special undergarments provide a final line of defense against not only the elements, but also against sinister magics and curses. The only downside is that they only come in a particularly unfortunate polka-dot pattern...
New Fiction 2020 - March
Hogs of War dev. Infogrames Sheffield House (2000)
I played this game once, long ago, and have never forgotten it. It’s a strange experience. Do I like this game that I played briefly twenty years ago? I remembered it enough to buy a physical copy and store it on a shelf. And when I discovered I could buy a digital copy, I bought it again and finally attempted to complete it during my flights to and from Boston in February. It was too difficult, so I tried and failed again. Finally, I played an emulated copy using cheats to give myself an unlimited number of promotion points and upgrade my soldiers. I completed the game. I remain fascinated with this strange, problematic game. The gameplay is best described as Worms in 3D, but more fun than the actual attempts to make Worms in 3D. The movement is faster, and the reactive physics are key to making this a unique experience compared to other turn-based combat games. The problematic part is the comedy derived from the stereotypical depictions of anthropomorphized pig soldiers who hail from fictionalized versions of nationalities such as Japanese, French, and American. The accents in particular are... tough to get over. It's a shame, because otherwise, the game is fun, a proper challenge, and should have been more popular than it was.
MASSIVE CHALICE dev. Double Fine Productions (2015)
I didn’t get to work on this one. I’ve worked on almost everything at Double Fine, but 2015 was a turbulent year and I left without making a mark on this release. It remained one of our few games that I hadn’t completed until last month. Having played Hogs of War, I felt encouraged to make the journey through the game and continue exploring turn-based combat. MASSIVE CHALICE is closer to XCOM than Hogs. Movement isn’t in real-time as in Hogs, but limited to moving along a certain numbers of spaces on a grid. It’s structured more like a board game. This means that the game is as it’s best when tension is high because strategy demands patience and some battles are won by the skin of one’s teeth. The player must build up generations of soldiers, choosing who fights and who helps the war machine in other areas. The elements are generated differently each time, resulting in random soldiers being born and raised, as well as random enemy and story encounters. It results in a unique story with the same conclusion every time. My playthrough was fraught with close calls and though I failed the final mission, it didn’t feel like a Game Over. I got a finale cutscene and a satisfying conclusion.
“Playdate with Destiny” dir. David Silverman (2020)
Maggie is the most neglected character on The Simpsons, and it’s always nice to see her get some attention. This animated short was a perfect example of showing instead of telling, which was a perfect challenge for an animation director. Without the need of dialogue the show typically employs, the short is free to show a sweet tale that has its funny moments.
Onward dir. Dan Scanlon (2020)
This story wasn’t quite what I expected, and the marketing certainly sets up an expectation that the creators subvert. It outlines a process in which one deals with loss by yearning for that which was lost, but failing to see what’s still here. The lesson is there as it is with all Pixar films. It hit me particularly hard as I consider my relationships to family.
The Invisible Man dir. Leigh Whannell (2020)
My expectation here was quite low. It’s a horror movie, or maybe a thriller, but I couldn’t understand the kind of terror an invisible person can inflict. The creators did a good job of demonstrating that not only is it a terrifying prospect, but technology can be contorted to reflect the worst of our instinctis.
Bloodshot dir. David S. F. Wilson (2020)
For a movie with as interesting a premise as ‘this guy can’t die,’ it sure was boring. Like the movie above, the creator of this technology is a sociopath, but his intentions are even more flimsy and realistic. He wants to get paid. Vin Diesel’s anti-hero is just as dull as his other roles. It’s worth a lazy Saturday afternoon watch at best.
The Hunt dir. Craig Zobel (2020)
I can see that they were going for some kinda commentary on liberalism in the time of Trump here, but boy does it fall flat. In spite of that, Betty Gilpin is fun to watch in the lead role. A lot of her performance is in the dips between her lines. Her looks at other characters and sort of lanky disarming of the tension. The violence is in the absurd realm of movies like those from Tarantino. I’d watch this again just for her performance.
Star Trek: Picard - Season 1 (2020)
Picard is a legend of a character, and it was nice to see him in action again. However, it’s a bit of a shock to see him and the characters from the Star Trek shows in the eighties and nineties commingling in this post-Abrams Star Trek universe. I watched the season with friends and reviews were mixed. For those who did like it, we thought it really needed more than ten episodes in a season to tell its story. Now that I’m watching Star Trek: Discovery, I can see that play out. There’s more room to breathe with fifteen episodes in their seasons. Picard has room for improvement and with another season guaranteed, I’m hoping they stabilize and add more room for their stories.
Massive Chalice
Double Fine’s initial success with crowdfunding definitely came from nostalgic fans, but their second attempt showed that they had learned something very important. Massive Chalice was initially hit with some controversy upon the start of its kickstarter campaign due to creating a system where heroes the player controlled would be paired up to create offspring, but there was no mention of same sex coupling. Director Brad Muir, who also worked in key positions on Psychonauts, Brutal Legend, and Iron Brigade, actually took this criticism into account. He admitted he never considered this, citing a blind spot from himself being heterosexual, and announced this feature would be added, resulting in the final game letting same sex couples adopt children into their family line. While just allowing a cosmetic option would have been enough, turning into genuine strategy showed real care for what their fan-base wanted. Double Fine knows their audience, and they’re willing to be humble and grow, even when they make mistakes. These qualities result in quaint but charming experiences with a special sort of flavor of their own, and Massive Chalice (the last game Muir made with Double Fine before joining Valve) is no exception.
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I just started playing Massive Chalice, which is a game I’d never heard of but I picked it up for free at some, so I thought, “Why not?” And so far I’m really liking it.
It’s plays a lot like X Com (particularly the combat). But it’s a fantasy setting where your kingdom is under siege by some dark force. You have a magical artifact that should be able to stop it, but it takes 300 years to charge up. Which means none of the heroes you begin with are going to live to see the final battle. So outside of combat missions, you build up your kingdom and establish bloodlines by pairing some of your heroes together. It’s really interesting resource management. It’s also pretty challenging. I’m about 180 years in and it just keeps getting tougher. It’s a Double Fine game too, so it’s got a sense of humor. The eponymous chalice creates the player character, because, in its own words “The people don’t want to listen to a giant talking cup.”
Anyway, so far it’s really good and I’m surprised I’ve never heard of it. I know I have some followers who enjoyed the X Com games, so I thought I might give it a shout out.
Ever wondered what would happen if you merged a blunderbuss with a crossbow? Well, now you can stop wondering and start turning people into porcupines!
Here it is, as… promised? Vaguely threatened? Well, whatever. You all just got TIMEFISTED!!
I think I’m going to make Magic Item Monday a regular thing on this blog, you know. New (or occasionally recycled) magic items every Monday for a year. How does that sound? I’ll keep doing Stat Block Sunday as well, of course.
Do you ever wish there was a fantasy version of X-COM? Other than Final Fantasy Tactics, I mean? Well, Double Fine Productions’ MASSIVE CHALICE might just be for you. These monsters are all based on enemies encountered in that game - I think their gimmicks would work pretty well in D&D too!
I finally managed to beat Massive Chalice for the for the first time after getting it nearly 10 years ago. Holy shit is this a good game, I think I even like it more than x-com. There's loads of replay value, but damn I just wish there was a big budget sequel or at the very least mod support.
I feel like if tumblr knew about this game they'd be feral about it. It's x-com with arranged marriages.