I (Matthew) did some bad shit in the past.
Annika tried to rekindle an old friendship and now I want to fucking die.
Someone in a server we run had done the same shit I did and that friend went off about how they couldn’t see past that and they should be banned from the server.
They also accused my best friend of gaslighting then, when from my perspective he was just asking a question.
Collin says I need to get my feelings out so I don’t become more self destructive again so here I am I guess...
I don’t want to go into detail about what I did. I was a persecutor. I’m not anymore. I regret everything I did at that time. I’ve apologized to the people I hurt, and I didn’t do anything to anyone outside the system.
The friend saying that shit about the person and being so... I don’t know..
Them saying that put me back in a really bad place emotionally.
Right now all I want to do is punish myself for what I did. I wish Collin would go back to calling me a monster and encouraging me to commit but he refuses as per usual.
Collin split off of me once I started breaking down my walls, stopped lying to myself.
He existed solely to get justice for what I did.
Even Justin has forgiven me now and.. he was the most angry out of everyone.
Justin and I share a subsystem, so he was often punished for what I did...
Damean has forgiven me. We even seem to be friends now, which is... crazy.
I really dislike talking about this, and don’t ask for details unless you’re prepared to never want to speak to me again.
