#mcbapzo

[wellthebardsdead]

Baptiste: what’s wrong?

Cole: I tried asking Hanzo out, again…

Baptiste: no luck?

Cole: every time I go to pop the question Genji swoops in and drags him away!

Baptiste: ughh same!! I’ve tried to invite him on a date with us 3 times this week but each time Genji gets in the way!

76: hold on a minute that’s happening to you guys too?!

Cole: YOURE INTERESTED IN HIM AS WELL?!

Baptiste: hands off he’s ours!

76: He needs security! Not a hothead outlaw and a former talon agent!

Cole: oh please you’re banking on the hope he has daddy issues!

76: as if you don’t!!

Genji: *peers out of the air vent* none of you are fit for my brother! He’s here to work on himself and his mental health! Not his love life-

Hanzo: *standing in the doorway, heard everything* I’m open for dating all of you.

Genji: ANIJA!!

[punprincess321]

Jesse: *doing his workout in the gym, extremely focused*

Hanzo: *walks past shirtless and sweaty from his workout as Jesse is doing pushups*

Jesse: *stares and loses his balance falling flat on his face*

-

Jesse: *doing bench press when Baptiste comes over*

Baptiste: need someone to spot you?

Jesse: *looses grip and drops the weights right on his chest* y-yep!

-

Jesse: *sparring with D.va* give me all ya got Hana!

*Hanzo and Baptiste walk past*

Jesse: *watches them giving Hana an opportunity to knock him out*

-

*a couple minutes later Jesse comes to, Hanzo and Baptiste are checking on him*

Hanzo: Are you alright McCree?

Baptiste: Do you think you need medical attention?

Jesse: *dazed* Am I in heaven? No way in hell you angels would both be here.

Baptiste: *snickers* McCree, we ARE here.

Hanzo: Ms. Song hit you quite hard.

Jesse: *gets up and grabs his gun* well time to avoid explaining myself to the hottest guys on the base.

Baptiste & Hanzo: JESSE NO!

[nitewrighter]

baptiste and mccree: *both with lifeguard skins* hanzo: *gay panic*

McCree: Yep. Keepin’ the beach safe ain’t easy. Glad to know I got a second set of eyes out here.

Baptiste: *rubbing sunscreen on McCree’s back* A second set of hands doesn’t hurt either.

McCree: Thanks for helpin’ there, by the way. Sunscreen gunks up my prosthetic like no other– Oh! That reminds me–Hey Hanzo! When was the last time you re-applied?

Hanzo, who has been desperately avoiding looking over in their general direction for the past 20 minutes: I’m fine!

McCree: You sure?

Baptiste: The ink will fade on your tattoos if they get too much sun, zanmi m!

Hanzo, still avoiding eye contact: I AM VERY CAPABLE OF APPLYING MY OWN SUNSCREEN.

Baptiste: …he knows you’re supposed to relax on a beach, right?

[wellthebardsdead]

Reaper: you’re coming with us, Augustin.

Baptiste: why can’t you just leave me alone?!

*meanwhile in the background*

Hanzo & Cole: *charging in on orisa to save their boyfriend*

[wellthebardsdead]

Jean: *quietly sitting at the breakfast table staring at his coffee* …

Cole: what’s wrong babe?

Jean: …have I done something to upset Hanzo? Has he said anything to you?

Cole: what?

Jean: I bought him some shirts yesterday and when I gave them to him he ran away in a panic like I’d somehow told him I didn’t love him anymore…

Cole: oh, Aw baby no, he just doesn’t know how to accept gifts, he… he never really got them, he was treated more as an investment than a person…

Hanzo: *steps out wearing a black Hawaiian style shirt Jean got him with the rest of the outfit styled around it. Tropical chic* good morning! *walks over and gives each of them a kiss slipping a small box into jeans hands before walking into the kitchen to make breakfast* pancakes sounds nice~

Jean: *opens the box up to find a Rolex watch staring back at him* HOW MUCH DID THIS COST?!

Cole: *snickers holding up his wrist showing his* good luck trying to get him to tell ya~

[punprincess321]

Ashe: How was I never your type Jesse?

Jesse: *gestures to his boyfriends Hanzo and Baptiste* Take a wild guess!

[punprincess321]

*Hanzo and Baptiste have been together since they joined the recall, best supportive relationship ever*

Tracer: Ey lovebirds! We found our new Blackwatch commander!

Hanzo: That's wonderful ms. Oxton.

Baptiste: Who is it?

Tracer: Come meet him!

*Hanzo and Baptiste follow Tracer to the lounge, there sitting on the couch is the most gorgeous cowboy they've ever seen* Howdy! You must be Genji's brother Hanzo and you're the ex talon guy! I'm Jesse McCree, nice to meet ya.

Hanzo: step on me.

Baptiste: I'll be your new horse mister McCree.