#mchanzo textposts

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

McCree: *applying chapstick*

Hanzo: What flavour is that?

McCree: Oh, it's cherry.

Hanzo: Can I try it?

McCree: Sure *hands over chapstick*

Hanzo: *grabs McCree by the collar and kisses him*

Hanzo: It's not bad... Do you have any more of that?

McCree: ... *McCree.exe has stopped responding*

McCree: Oh no, he's hot.

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

McCree: Watch this, darlin’. I’ve been practicin’. *fires bow and arrow and hits the target*

Hanzo: Impressive. Now, watch this.

Hanzo: *grabs Peacekeeper and shoots a Dragonstrike from it.*

McCree, pouting: Showoff.

submitted by @moirascoalescence

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

Hanzo: why can’t I find guys like this

Hanzo: *looking at a picture of a sexy cowboy*

McCree: hey

Hanzo: no

McCree: I’m literally the guy in the pic

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

McCree: it ain’t healthy to eat cake after 7pm...

Hanzo, eating cake at 3am: fortunately for me, time is an illusion.

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

McCree: THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT

McCree: scratch that, there’s two!

Hanzo: don’t mind them. My dragons rest where they feel safest.

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

Hanzo making McCree's lunch: *kisses the sandwich and leaves a note*

McCree eating lunch: *reads note* "Made with love ❤️." Aaaaaawwwww!

(A week later)

Hanzo, angry at McCree: *doesn't kiss the sandwich and leaves a note*

McCree eating lunch: *reads note* "This sandwich gets no kisses, have a good lunch jerk face. I hope it tastes like despair."

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

Tracer: something looks new Jesse. Did you get a new haircut? New shirt?

McCree: I think it’s the BOYFRIEND I have hanging off my arm

Hanzo: it’s the new ‘Gay Ass Mother F*cker’ belt.

[mchanzo-incorrectquotes]

Hanzo: sometimes I still think back to the day I did this to you and wonder how lucky I am that you are still willing to speak with me

Genji: we all made mistakes Hanzo. You are forgiven and it is time to move on.

Genji: ...kinda like that time I accidentally cut off Jesse’s arm.

Hanzo: you WHAT?

McCree, holding Hanzo back: Darlin’ relax. I forgave him!