#schizoid

[honeyed-katsu]

y'all mind if i schizoid post on main

[chartnumber3]

id repeatedly ask "dont you look at your own mom or sibling or whoever similar in your life and you realize you dont really *KNOW* who they are? like who *are* they?" and people, every time, would react like that was gibberish. like i said something incomprehensible

anyone "close" to me is a stranger, everyone is their own person but close to eachother. but not to me. they just happen to be my mom, or my uncle or my acquaintance . players, roles.

and its easy to see everyone as equal and detached from myself. i wonder whats its like to truly have a normal attachment like that, like you feel close to someone. like you arent observing creatures from the other side of a pane of glass

[girlzoid]

szpd google searches

how to radiate horrid vibes so people don't talk to me

jobs where you don't talk to anyone

off the grid cabins near me

the stranger by albert camus

what is empathy?

how to fake your own death

[schizoidpolls]

do you care about pride month?

yes, and i like to celebrate it

yes, but i don't want/care to celebrate it

yes (neutral on celebration)

a little / i guess

neutral / indifferent / ambivalent

no, but i recognize that it's important

no

nuance/other

not schizoid button (see results)

Remaining time: 6 days 17 hours

(this poll is inclusive of those who are self-diagnosed or questioning! reblog for sample size!)

[girlzoid]

everythings boring because im boring

[yaybadluck]

I think you are going to cause massive emotional trauma to some vulnerable people, if you haven't already. And I think being you must be a very special form of hell.

That sounds mean and I'm not trying to be mean so I'm posting this to no one in particular so that if you read this you won't be certain if I'm talking about you or not and so you won't be sure if I'm shitty or not (I'm so very afraid)

[chartnumber3]

i wish i can do anything weird and "unconventional" that i feel like doing. things only i would understand. sit outside in one spot for hours, seeing what itd be like to be a certain plant or lamp post for the day, or lay on the unconfortable sharp gravel and purposely sensory deficit myself, climb a tree and stay in it until it rains and im cold and its night and the suffering would be the point, it would be the experience. i would like to collect "experiences" like that. (these examples are somewhat sterilized and generic, trying to describe these desires accurately are hard to explain but these get the idea right especially about the suffering)

of course then people come rushing in, asking about this or that, about if they could come, if they could help, what about the time, what if something happens, what about 1 million trillion other things, why would i want to do it, why alone, thats weird, etc. etc. like the world itself is against me having some weird artistic schizo peace. just, leave me alone. why do people insist on being involved?

it doesnt mean anything if i say no by the way, nothing at all, theres no emotion in that decision. i just sometimes want to be alone and strange. i havent got to experience anything weird id like to do because of it. i just want to do one of those things. i think itd do a lot for me

[chartnumber3]

a coworker did the usual "hi how are you doing?" thing (which i hate so, so much you dont even know) when i was clocking in, of course i responded with just "hi" or something and she asked if i was "shy". ughh.

i just kind of said "i just dont care about people. its a ... mental thing."

she just responded with "ok!" and nothing else was said or asked about it. and, i do appreciate that. thats along the lines of how you could properly "talk" to a schizoid (if for some reason you found it necessary to). that was cool. shes alright.