#medallion status

[paulftompkins]

Varietopia is a magical show that will change your life. But don’t take it from me— take it from John Hodgman!

Want to see Varietopia in Los Angeles, via livestream or on tour? Find all tix at varietopia.com!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

John Hodgman and Aimee Mann

/cc @hodgman

[thecomedybureau]

Please Get and Enjoy John Hodgman’s Latest Book “Medallion Status”

Often, memoirs and autobiographies can seem self-aggrandizing and overly indulgent. Yet, the curious life of one John Hodgman and the charming way in which Hodgman himself examines it really makes him exempt from such a notion. 

This latest book, Medallion Status, offers up another fun dive into Hodgman’s life where he’s famous, but not quite too famous and the sort of surreal experience that can be. 

It’s almost like if a much less toxic (and definitely human) character on BoJack Horseman succinctly and delightfully recounted how they racked up an astonishing amount of frequent flyer miles. 

Medallion Status by John Hodgman is out now and available in hardcover, Ebook, audiobook from Penguin Random House. Get it here.

[the-birth-of-art]

But, here is this warning. If there is a stereo in the cheese store, you may be tempted to put on the album Swordfishtrombones, by your very favorite, Mr. Tom Waits. And then it’s possible that when you do, a beautiful woman might come in. She will buy some cheese, and then make a lot of eye contact with you. And she will say, “What is this music?”

And you will think, Obviously this is the soundtrack of our imminent and deep romantic affair. Thank you for finally finding me, fellow lover of Tom Waits. I have been sending this growling, atonal screechy birdcall out for YEARS now, hoping you would finally hear it and come to me.

But what you will actually say is, “Oh, this is the album Swordfishtrombones by Tom Waits.”

And she will say, “Aha. I wanted to know what it was so that I would never accidentally buy it.”

And then she will laugh and leave you alone with your jazzbo carny music for lonely boys

— John Hodgman, Medallion Status, True Stories from Secret Rooms (2019)

[theadmiringbog]

All the actors were extremely skilled and attractive and dressed beautifully. Also, I was there.

--

I think they believed me. They still use the trays, and I still stay with them from time to time. Home is where they have to take you in. I just made up that line because I am a famous poet.

--

Writing a novel is a terrible job, but if you absolutely have to do it, here is the only writing advice I ever give: It is not enough to write what you know. You have to know interesting things. You have to get out there and learn them. That’s where having had a bunch of jobs comes in handy.

--

The worst jobs are not the hardest jobs. The worst job is the job you know is wrong for you, but you stay in it anyway.

--

When you go to an airport, you know that you are probably not going to die. But all the same, you are deploying your belief in statistics and personal experience against a deeper, equally unmovable force: that you are about to do something that is impossible. You are going to get into a giant, heavy steel tube full of people and their farts, and that tube is going to levitate until it is thousands of feet above the earth, to a point where, should the tube fail, the pressure difference would suck you out of the tube into temperatures that would instantly kill you. You are going to be inside of the tube, and people on the ground will look up and see your tube, a thin silver toothpick full of souls, spreading its contrails, and they will not think, It’s John Hodgman! You will be microscopic, beyond reach, nothing. Which is somehow more suffocating and terrifying to think of, for me, than dying in a fiery crash.

--

I put my bag through the X-ray and took off my shoes (I was not yet TSA PreCheck). I did it really well, and I also took off my belt because I know how this stuff gets done. I know how to reveal my body to a still-experimental booth that bombards you with radiation and takes a picture of your nudity that never goes away no matter what they say.

--

There is no television anymore, but also there is only television.

--

They were genuinely nice and happy to be there, like a pair of famous corgis (but with actual real estate chops), and I was reminded once again that genuine niceness and happiness are attractive to people.

--

He has a sailboat in the harbor, and painted on its side in too-big letters is its name: After You. If you tell Tom you like his boat, he says, “Thank you. I named it after you.” I have heard him say this so many times.

[universitybookstore]

If you’re not listening to and or reading Judge John Hodgman (podcast and or NYT column) you are not cool. Simple as that. To try to correct the deficiency, please buy and read Medallion Status, by John Hodgman, out now from Viking. (Seriously though, try harder by starting here.)

[bigtickhk]

John Hodgman asks, “How did I get here?” in the comic and somber Medallion Status

Taking the ridiculous seriously has always been a major part of John Hodgman’s brand.

Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms by John Hodgman https://amzn.to/2MxrjS0

[thecomedybureau]

John Hodgman is set to return to our coast once more, this time with a brand new book in hand, Medallion Status (release date-Oct. 15th), which follows his time in becoming one of the best contributors on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, traveling the country with a certain level of fame, and, hence the title, gaining Medallion Status as a very frequent flyer.

He’ll be on a book tour for Medallion Status and, for his LA stop, will be chatting it up with the one and only Aimee Mann at the Aratani Theatre, Thurs. Oct. 24th.

Tickets are as follows: $50.00 Reserved Section  (includes book)* $40.00 General Admission Section  (includes book)* $20.00 General Admission Section (on sale Sept 24, 10am)

Get more info and tickets later this month here.