- Alright. So. Picture, if you will.
- Randy is in his home, and has been for a couple of weeks. His mother forbids him from leaving her fucking sight, and despite the fact that he hates it, he doesn’t blame her. He’s sitting on the couch at 8 pm, watching Night of the Living Dead....and he gets a knock on the door. It’s Sidney. He’s surprised of course, but he would never turn her away. He lets her inside, is all casual... And then he sees her eyes are red. She’s been crying. She finally just sighs it out. “I’m pregnant.”
- Randy is mortified, because they both know damn well who had to be the father and... well...
- He doesn’t speak for like, a minute before he finally says “You know I’m by your side no matter what, right?”. Sidney smiles, and the two hug quietly.
- Sidney starts going through the normal symptoms. Morning sickness, stuff like that, and Randy is by her side the entire time. “You pee, I pee, you got it?”. He asks his mother help on pregnancy and she is a big help.
- He goes to birthing class with her. Yes. The awkwardness is something he’s never described. He just has to stand with all the dads/other moms talking about football and shit, and he’s just there, like “oh uh.. we’re good friends.”
- Despite all of his crushing, Randy does not make a move on Sidney. Sure, they jokingly flirt, but he knows she’s definitely not ready for a relationship yet, and he’s OK with that.
- Mood Swings. This man says something and she will just death glare him until he decides to choose life, and shuteth the fucketh upeth.
- Dewey is around a lot too, bringing Sidney snacks or soup, or just trying to make sure she’s OK. Sidney always tells him that he doesn’t have to, but he does it anyway. When he is around, Randy and Dewey are the adorkable dumbasses who jokingly fight over which onsie would look better on the baby.
- Finally, the big day comes. It’s after they both have graduated, Sidney is 4 days until due, and she and Randy are watching a movie at her house, and suddenly they both hear a *squish* sound. They both proceed to look down, and see that Sidney’s water has broken all over her cloth couch.
- This skinny man proceeds to flip the fuck out.
- “OHMYFUCKINGGOD,IT’SCOMINGWHERESTHEOVERNIGHTBAG-DIDIFORGETHOWTOBREATHE-DIDNIGHTMAREONELMSTREETJUSTBREAKYOURWATER”
- Sidney then proceeds to smack the fuck out of his arm, and whispers that he’d better get her to a hospital NOW.
- For some reason, this calms him down.
- The birthing process lasts many hours. Most of the time, Randy’s hand is used as a stress toy, but the love of his life is currently pushing a watermelon out of a donut hole, so he keeps his trap shut.
- Finally after hard work and dedication, Sideny’s daughter is brought into the world.
- Randy just sits there in awe as he watches his best friend and heartthrob, welcoming her daughter in the world and kissing her forehead, and he just smiles, and lets the two have their perfect moment.
- Soon, after Sidney receives many visitors, she looks up and realizes that Randy hasn’t held the baby yet.
- She very much so puts that to a stop. She gently places the baby girl into Randy’s arms... and his heart MELTS. He rocks her, kisses her forehead, and coos little babytalk at her, and Sidney feels her heart melt as well.
- The baby’s name? Calliope Tatum Prescott.
