“No, mother, I swear. I’ll bring him, I promise,” Vaeril tries to soothe the older woman as he sat at his desk, phone shouldered against his ear, but he’s distracted as he speaks, fingers danced across his keyboard as he desperately tried to find someone his mother liked enough just to leave the man alone for a little bit longer. He had been lying for a while that he was seeing someone, but he was too focused on work, too focused on the work of other folk around him to even think about stepping a toe in to the dating pool. Not in this era at least. The people his parents tried hooking him up with never lasted, he always found something wrong with them that he just couldn’t get over.
So here he sat, in a silky navy robe, scrolling through ever friend that could ever possibly ever owe him a favor that his parents never met. Which, while it was a rather large assortment of people from all walks of life, as his parents lived hours away, there were few names that he even thought would give him a second to describe his situation before slamming the proverbial door in his face.
A green dot signals that Randy is online. A friend that he had met through one of the suppliers at the club. “I love you too, mother, I’ll see you soon,” she muttered something but he had already ended the call. “How do I ask,” he questions, tongue pressed between his teeth.
“Hey crazy question-” no, delete. “Are you-” no, delete. “I have a fa-” No. Delete. Delete. Vaeril stands and saunters over to the bar where he heavily handed pours himself a drink before moving back to perch at the desk. A car perks his head up from behind the monitor but sees nothing changes as his head gets patted in soothing motions. “Time to do it, I suppose, Walter.” The white cat lets out a mewing yawn, as if he approves.
“A thousand dollars if you spend the weekend with my parents and I in the Hamptons and pretend you’re my partner. An extra thousand if you pretend to get in a big relationship breaking fight before we leave.. I await your reply. Xoxo, V. Threshar.”
Quick, succinct. He doesn’t hope and wonders that perhaps it wasn’t enough, or maybe he should ask at work, he’s sure someone knows a struggling actor who wouldn’t mind the money. But he doesn’t have to wonder, Randy sent a quick reply, “As long as dinner is steak and lobster.” Which causes Vaeril to grin and type out a reply of, “As if it would be anything but.” with a winky face. He deletes it at first but a second later follows his initial reply with the emoji.
----
Vaeril drove most of the way as they hashed out their story. They’d been seeing each other just under 6 months but it was love at first sight. It was a blind date from someone at the club so he was unsure at first but had never fallen so quickly. Things felt natural with the other, they agreed. Vaeril wanted Randy to take his last name. They had a cat and some succulents instead of children together. They both agreed that they were past that part of their lives, and Randy did have a few children from romantic entanglements with women. As much as Vaeril wanted to give his parents grandchildren, it was too far gone. He was nearly 40, he was not going to be like Elton John and settle down with children when his back started to hurt.
The cabin came in to view and his chest hurt, he didn’t want to disappoint his parents and Randy reached over and squeezed his hand, telling him, “It’s okay, babe. We got this.” It was a start. His parents met them at the door, a hand claps on Randy’s shoulder from Vaeril’s father, and he gets encompassed in a hug by his mother. “You’re so handsome!” she coos, “Much better than I expected. And so rugged too,” she notes as she strokes his beard. Vaeril clears his throat and she drops a hand with a laugh, “Mother, father, this is Randy.”
They get swept up inside. It’s the first of 3 days, they won’t have their blow up tonight, no. They go out to eat, they keep the act up all day. His mother talks about wedding plans. Randy says he just wants to run off and get married, but Vaeril wants a big party. His mother says that sounds like him so he orders another drink. His father asks about football and he drowns out the rest of the conversation.
They share a bed. To keep up appearances. Vaeril warned him that his mother has no shame and would bust open the door for breakfast and he did. The pair was curled up under sheets, barely touching but Vaeril sits up, hair mussed as his mother mentions coffee and his stomach grumbles. His mother moves to smooth hair down but before she can react it’s Randy sitting up, and his hand in Vaeril’s hair before the man can even think.
Breakfast is the only food his mother will ever make, his father says it’s the only food she ever mastered. They all sit at the table, in robes and still half asleep, as his mother- who will forever be a morning person, pours coffee and asks how they like their eggs. She knows Vaeril’s order. Whole grain toast with poached eggs and two slices of bacon. One cream, two sugars. But she stares expectantly at Randy, who says black coffee is perfect, and he’s not a fan of runny yolks so he’ll take his as an omlette if that’s alright with her. She doesn’t complain, everyone has their tastes.
His father is reading the newspaper on his tablet, or checking up on emails, which his wife told him not to do time and time again but he doesn’t listen.
They spend the day on the slopes. Vaeril told his parents that Randy hadn’t skied before, but it was still fun. They ate out again. Steak and lobster, baby red potatoes, dark red wine. Randy and Vaeril shared a piece of cheesecake. One more night. They laid the seeds of turmoil that night and his parents heard a heated discussion about people that an outsider would assume was about them, when they were just relaying the plot to a popular movie, but made it to suit their lives. Vaeril yells about a beard, Randy just says he’s jealous that his doesn’t grow as thick.. His mother started to worry that night.
At breakfast, she spoke of weddings again. Which house they were going to move in to, whose last name would they take. Randy says, “He wants me to take his last name but I don’t want to.” Over his coffee, Vaeril mutters, “Darling, who hyphenates their last names? I refuse, I won’t be that person.” There’s a huff, “That person? What does that mean? You think you’re so much better than the rest of us.”
Vaeril’s lips pursed together and he raises a brow, “I don’t think. I know. Do you think I want to spell out both our last names for the rest of my life? You’re dreadfully misinformed. You’re taking my name, end of story. That name will open a lot of doors for you, my love, and having them both would shut them before it even starts.”
He has to hide his grin over his coffee. Randy sparks, “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” He storms off to their room, yells nonsensical things as he throws clothing around the room, and stomps back out to slam a simple silver band on the table causing their drinks to spill slightly. “You can find someone else then. I’m going home.” Vaeril tells him they took his car, and that he’s going to have to find his own way home and to make sure he gives him his copy of the key.
Randy grabs his bag and makes his way into the city, to a small diner they agreed to meet in. He slams the door on his way out.
Vaeril’s mother sobs, but he just stares off out the window, red in the cheeks. He leaves an hour later and picks Randy up. Vaeril pays him his dues and they laugh during the drive home. He feels bad, but he hopes that means he has a few months to ‘mourn’ his lost relationship before his mother starts hounding him again.
okay but meme au giles receiving a rickroll from possibly willow and jenny and not knowing how to respond
he’s very confused and frustrated because it feels like there’s a level to the email that he Doesn’t Get and did the link somehow get broken? was the email mishandled in transit? he asks jenny all these questions very seriously at breakfast and faith starts laughing so hard that she knocks over the orange juice and has to Leave
