anyone remember this

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anyone remember this
yeah it should’ve been so much worse for dean in regards to being michael’s vessel.
The second the word god or jesus came out of his mouth, ESPECIALLY if its a swear, his ears should’ve started ringing. he can feel something watching him out of the corner of his eye, randomly, when he takes a sip of alcohol at a bar, flirts with a woman, walks down a dark street alone. Flames of every candle or fire he starts in a graveyard lean towards him. Pious catholics start reaching out to touch him on the street for no reason. Dreams where he’s held in place and forced to watch the creation of universes, glowing, burning holy light consuming him. He forces himself to go out every night like normal to hook up, but he starts feeling dirtier every time. Whispers in his ear throughout the day of his name, the lord’s prayer, yes yes yes yes. Doesn’t he know how perfect he is, how loved? Unwelcome, unnatural peace the second he walks into a church. He’s so empty, why not just sit and pray for a while, rest those weary eyes and hands. i could go on
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the one true pairing that stands the test of time for me is michean. which is of course inherently related to the never-happened johndean. which is of course the precursor to the ever-present samdean. which is of course the unseen cause for doesn't-see-him-as-her-son marydean--
and up there somewhere chuck is doing the same thing i am now. making up some more bullshit
if i can be delirious for a second
john fucking up deans brain so bad that he seeks him in every man he finds, latching onto the way they bark out orders, or arrange their notes, or the way their tongue curls around whiskey (the one his dad used to drink the most), or how they bite his lip in the heat of the moment, or how they turn him away so that they can imagine someone else.
dean noting distantly that sam kisses like john, because dean taught him how to kiss, and dean learned by watching (tasting) john. every kiss from his brother is like a breath of his father's, bringing his memory back to life. it wasn't a surprise when sam turned dean around, right after he lost jess. dean was used to being the lost blonde of the season, greedily taking whatever touches he could get. after all, turnabout is fair play.
on my michael x dean bullshit again thinking abt how we never see michael with his own angelblade bc dean's his sword the only weapon he needs beyond that of his own divinity and the inherently erotic yet deeply objectifying notion that you have nothing more to offer to this heavenly being other than your flesh bc your body is your greatest arsenal
Some old michean stuff yeah, love 'em
Translation for comics(maybe a little bit incorrect, cause' i'm not so good at english, sorry):
Dean: -are you dump?? Let me go, it was s-a-r-c-a-s-m
Michael: -you should think before speak.
*boom*
Michean is like. What if i showed you a mirror and it sucked so bad. What if i had the chance to heal my old self and give you closure. What if we made each other painfully aware of how little it takes to be the person you swore to destroy. What if we were both repressed and hatefucked in my car