I am vibrating with excitement in anticipation for the release of your game. I think about it often. And I'm one of those ffffreaks who thinks about stuff like "is it sent in any specific place/time, like the early 2000s, or are they trying to affect a more timeless quality to the setting?"
These are the important questions though cause I ask myself this all the time! The time it takes place is made to be ambiguous, but it's definitely got a late 90s/early2000s time frame in mind, so if you want you can imagine Michelle listening to this and it would be canonically accurate :
It'd maybe be better as a graph but I'm lazy and hate graphs. SO :
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Rose and Jenny are cousins. Rose's parents are still married. Jenny was raised by her single Dad. Rose's mom is Jenny's dad's older sister.
(they live apart but see eachother so much they might as well live together. Jenny did live with Rose for a little bit as infants. then later as roommates. They all get along allright now)
Rose's parents often argued in her childhood, still do.
While it made her much more likely to curl up and bottle up her emotions, as well as letting people walk over her, she'd sometimes snap at Jenny as a consequence. Obviously felt awful about it, engaging in a guilt cycle of wanting to make up for it but not allowing herself to let any of her emotions out, repeating it.
(until she started cutting herself, finally ginding a way to relieve herself of pent up emotions without hurting anyone -not counting herself-)
Jenny has a great and loving relationship with her dad. She did sometimes feel like a burden but knows she isn't, courtesy of her dad reminding her how much she loves her everyday. He has always been very supportive. Even if he wasn't often home (which led her to venture into internet spaces, more on that later) they've always made the most of their time together. I'll maybe desbribe more, but her hdad was very codependent toward Jenny after his wife left him. (planting the seeds of Jenny's own codependcy toward Rose and especiallly Michelle later on)
Loves Rose like a sister, didn't like dealing with her snappy moods but never held it against her as she saw how it hurt her to act this way.
Feels very protective of her (and the people she loves), but especially Rose, after her bullying. Her strong temperament has caused her to have a more strained relationship with her aunt.
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Charlotte has an older brother (9 years apart) with whom she never really bonded with due to their age difference. Their relation does improve in their adult life. She has a good relationship with her parents, although they did go through a rough patch during her adolescence, mostly due to their divorce (amical) which led to Charlotte acting out, such as dying her hair and smoking to be purposely "edgy/emo"
(something she knew they hated with a passion; since they associated it with her brother's own rebellious phase; where he almsot died by od at a party)
Felt a but lonely in her youth, often coming home to no one at home due to their job and having practically no relationship with her own brother after he left not long after he turned 18.
sometimes hangs out with her cousins. Specifically Clara.
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Michelle is an only child but has lots of relatives. She loves her parents but has a complicated relationship with them. Half because she's deeply afaraid of coming out as bi to them (they're okay with homosexuality, as long as it's not their children. To Michelle's mom specifically, bisexuality is the worst, only sees it as a perverse)
Also because while her parents love eachother, they have fought a lot, arguments were common and due to work stress her dad lightly strangled her mom once. He has apologized after every signle time and since the stress went away has gotten much better. (it both angered and scared Michelle. But since her mom was okay afterward, they never talked much about it.)
(used to fantasize about killing her parents sometimes multiple times a day, more often than not her dad; felt bad later though which led her to let some behaviour slide out of guilt. Although the real reason why she never did anythins is because she's terrified of consequences)
( They separated once when she was 3-4 but got back together after her dad got his act back together)
Had a crush on one of her cousins once when she was 5 and it still haunts her
Started drinking (small sips) at 8 with her grandparents. Then smuggled some of her Dad's cigarettes in her late teens.
the first time Michelle and Jenny met, Michelle was humming along to "poupée de cire poupée de son" by France gall. That and her "porcelain appearance" were big influences in the making of Jenny's nickname for Michelle. That and flirting, since doll. poupée. Just plain flirting. Somehow it worked XD
(helps that Jenny didn't mean it as Michelle having as little emotions as a doll, quite the opposite actually. '"you know when you feel like dolls are looking at you all creepy ? I can feel your eyes following me, but uhm. I'm taking it as a compliment ;3")
1st, to be clear. I love my girls, and Michelle and Jenny love each other very much but it is NOT healthy. Jenny wants to give up control over her own life to someone else, to be owned and treated as the other's object? Of course she wtill wants to be seen as a human being, but her primary desire is to belong to somebody. OR at least belong WITH somebody. (more on that with her codepende to Rose)
Meanwhile Michelle, elle, needs to have control over Something in her life. She can't control the world, the way her brain functions and her feelings, but she can control her actions (somewhat). To be allowed to control another this way, to have the other at her mercy, is the best way for her to exerce this need. (although in the "good" ending she'd learn to yes, be in control, but alos learn to give up control over her own thoughts and feelings as well as Jenny, both giving up their self but in a trusting manner, instead of the current desperate one they have).
Michelle does love Jenny, but she's alos very much addicted to the way she feels when she's with her. Jenny needs to give her life to live and Michelle needs somebody elese to live. It's addicting to both. Almost to the extreme. They help eachother, but in retour they become each other's drugs.
-Others thoughts.
Charlotte.. knows they'll probably kill each other somehow, accidentally. She's happy for them, but she's known Michelle the longest. She's seen how she gets. She's happy she's happy, but she can see how it could go bad, very quickly. Perhaps it's selfish, but she'd ratehr Michelle gets to be happy and kill herself in it than decay without it. She thinks it's Something they can only figure out with each other. Of course she'd help if asked for advice, but she won't stick her nose in it as long as they're happy.
Rose. Wants to Believe they'll be good for each other, and does belive they'd be. But can also see how Michelle could self destruct, and knows that Jenny would follow suit. She also knows she can't do anything about it. Wishes the best for them. And, although she feels shameful for even thiking about it; is relieved she won't have to be feeling responsible for Jenny anymore or worry about Jenny being with somebody she doesn't know. Michelle might not be the stable lover she wishes Jenny had but she knows she'd never take advantage of Jenny's.. behaviour/extremes.
(Brief summary "not really) Michelle finally feels like she can breathe with Jenny, and Jenny wants to be suffocated by Michelle's everything.
they're both self destructive but in different ways. Jenny isn't suicidal but would follow Michelle if seh wanted to commit a doucle suicide. Meanwhile, Jenny is an Anchor for Michelle (who's only saving grace is her fear of conséquences). Whihch is good, but when jenny still gives her permission for naythign she'd want to do to her again and again despite Michelle tellling her it might kill her Something flips Inside. (which is why seh decides to not get together and work it out with her therapist.) - (in another universe she takes the hand jenny offers her and while their time together is increible their shared passion ends up Killing them early)
Used to have a braid, nickname "fishtail". Was often told she had "eyes like a fish, Dead as one" (among many others, lots of statues and paintitng commetns too) Hates that. Hates that people think she doesn't have emotions, doesn't express them. She does, she really does.
LOves looking at fish, A bit mesmerized by them and their colours. Htaes their smell, hates their texture. Hates their existence.
Very neutral, greys and monochorme palette. Looks a bit dead when alone. Like a fish underwater. (check but) Red is the first colour to disappear in the ocean. Jenny = red. maning close to the syrface and the sun and not fish. Wow; Symbolism and all.
Always felt like she was suffocating anyway. Tried to drown herself but didn't manage to. (water means a lot to her, in many ways. It carries a lot of history) Even if she doesn't like the taste of it, doesn't care for smoking more thn that (beside being very prone to addictions). She was Always suffocating even before, might as well ruin her lungs. It won't change much.
(anecdote): One time, at the beach, she saw a fish jump out of the water it was in; a wave going toward the sand. The fish landed near Michelle, flailing around and starting to suffocate. Michelle crouched down, looking at it. She did'tn put it back, nor did she leave it. She, for some unknown Reason, just started at it, pensive. (thinking) "Why did you jump ? What was the Reason ? To what end ?" She couldn't make ends or tails (yes pun intended) for this stupid creature's choice. Whta an idiot. How could it have possibly survived until now. She wacthed. Until Rose came by and saw the fish, struggling, and flicked it back to the water. She was about to ask why Michelle hadn't done anything, but stopped after seeig her face. Michelle looked elsewhere. They didn't speak about it.
In the bathroom, looking in the mirror. "Sees" the reflection but doesn't refister it as her own. Know it is, (can feel "her" skin when the hand touches the face in the reflection) and it's a mirror, so of course it's her. And yet, she can't recognise herself. Nothing makes sense, she knows she looks like that, she thinks. She has those features, but it's all wrong.
TRies to touch the other and (break in "reality" her fingers go theough the mirror, the body on one side, the nerves plastered against the mirror and Inside, only a skeleton. View from Inside the mirror, sees two "empty" eyes looking in. (Micehlle)
Strats to panic, can't unerstand what she is, what is she ?? What does it mean ? What is a body, what is hers ? Does she even have one ? Is she Nothing but consciousness that mistook dream for reality ? How vould she be ?
Back to "reality" Michelle puts her hand to her mouth, feels like puking. Quickly throwxs herself at the toilet to puke in. VIolent throath movement.
(Anecdote future w: Jenny) SOOOOO ROUGH (just idea. Make it better)
(((It was wrong. It was so wrong. She couldn't. How could she be allowed to toucj, caress, cardle the other ? She only wanted to love her, so why she have to fight against her own impulses, not to bash her head in as the other leaned on the wall, enterlacing her hands around Michelle's neck. It was so loving. It felt so goood. So why . Why couldn't she just enjoy it without feeling so violent. Even worse, she couldn't stop grinning. It was so wrong. So good; So wrong. So wrong to be so good. So good to be wrong. She couldn't even remember what the other had said.))
She can handle a bit. Most often than not though, it starts to burn. (unwanted touch, awful, obv.) Even if she does want ti, it just burns. Super annoying, "sparkling" like discomfort.
When crush; Still "sparkles" but more so in an "excited" way. Less discomofort, more like too much, good, but still too warm.
With Jenny. Incredily rare, it's pleasantly warm. Not too much, not painful. Just enough. Just warm, cozy, soothing. Reassuring.
