Sep 21, 2025
The ultimate hipster millennial just turned 30
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The ultimate hipster millennial just turned 30
me
Another SDJ AU hcs…
Ahahaha…this has…spawned from…staying up till 2am…where I heard a song I haven’t heard in years…and I thought…
“man…I wonder how these guys would act in this era?”
Ladies and gentlemen alongside the rest I welcome you into my dark and disturbing mind….be warned…for it is VERY scary..
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This is your LAST warning…Turn back now…before it’s too late!!!!!!!
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I present to you….
An AU unlike no other…..
Something’s Wrong With Sunny Day Jack: Millennial Edition!
Yes I did draw all the men (except the manager because like I’m so tired…)
Fair warning I drew everything super late at night. I’m typing this only at night so I can have the authentic exhaustion that spurred these demented thoughts.
By the gods I hope and pray that the company nor the artist EVER sees this bro 😭😭 OH I’D ACTUALLY SOB MAN THIS IS INSANE. THIS MAKES ZERO SENSE—LIKE THERE IS NOTHING TO GAIN FROM ME DOING ALL OF THIS EXCEPT THAT I FOUND IT FUNNY—
Okay…Now onto the Headcanons…
THE MC:
yeah no you still work at a froyo place but there’s EDM music… “On and On” is like playing every six songs
you definitely have an impressive score on Candy Crush and Fruit Ninja
That EOS egg is a CONSTANT item (or like alternatively Burt’s Bees because I swear everyone bought into one of those)
Also…Galaxy is SOMEWHERE on you idc if it’s a phone case, pants, hoodie, bag…it’s there…like a curse…
It’s either that or some animal with glasses and/or a bow tie. Pick your poison!
alright…I’m gonna start in Descending order (I KNOW WHO YOU’RE HERE FOR. I WANNA PUT HIM FIRST BUT THE OTHERS DON’T HAVE AS MUCH ART…GOTTA GET THROUGH THEM..)
Nick:
(Initial and second sketch…)
Ya he’s a Snap KING
Criminal fashion crime: Jacket and Blazer combo
there’s definitely a band shirt underneath it all
Nose Ring (probably…removable…idk if they are removable and I don’t feel like using Google I don’t TRUST that thing)
Scarf because I just know on the low he goes to local coffee shops or something
Definitely still a freak. I don’t think I need to elaborate.
Beanie Bum
Also yes I imagine the hair dye is extremely saturated to contrast his super dark clothes
Probably works at a Hot Topic…not all the time…might actually be the manager…
He actually saw the MC before in Hot Topic looking for merch on Invader Zim and helped out…but chickened out on actually making a move because it would’ve been on company time and after that 08’ crash he needs to keep this job AT ALL COSTS
But it’s like the stars aligned when he visited the Froyo shop with his friends.
You don’t even remember him..yikes, it threw him off his game, totally awkward…
Second attempt he goes for the Snap!
He shoots…and…he MISSES! 😔
oh well, he tried!
…He swears something is watching him after that interaction though.
Shaun:
I FORGOT TO ADD MOONPIE FORGIVE ME…
Oh yeah he’s still a writer!
He has glasses but chooses not to wear it because “Makes me look like a geek..and I’m no geek!”
He is a geek btw
Still loves his beloved genre, and is definitely a top reviewer
He 100% has a “#1 cat dad” mug
Actually he has a ton of cat themed stuff
Crossbody because his notebooks at in there and it make him look cooler
…Btw he has a tumblr and by golly he uses the mess out of it
He’s going to use so many tumblr lingos and you are going to be spending an hour listening to him explain all the threads
Probably on instagram leaving short poems of blurbs. Or pics of his cat
Actually she gets her own insta. I’ve decided this right now at 3am
Will love getting selfies with you to put “on the gram for my friends” he has at max 100 followers
…And obviously he’s an Ao3 connoisseur. Duh.
Ian:
Debated his fit for a hot minute
Idc he’s getting the fedora treatment
Stilla childhood friend, you got to see him in his prime wearing the “I paused my game for this” shirt and you will not let that go
Yes he dresses like a Disney Channel reject, if he’s trying to be an actor he’s gotta look the part
He also doesn’t wear his glasses but it’s moreso because that makes him look the biggest dork
Probably has a YouTube and/or Instagram vlogging about his journey trying to “make it big”
…You are not in any post.
….And you never will be! Because he’s making it big in Hollywood now! Next to the real actors!!
Isn’t until he’s stalking Shaun’s page on an alt account that he realizes he misses you
Gets even more terrified seeing some new guy there
Yeah he’s blocked on everything (even AOL…EVEN FRIENDSTER…) but he’ll find a way back…
Even if he has to learn how to use a ukulele…
Jack:
There’s so much of him yes I have a bias
Just an ordinary guy, a star in the making…
Sees you down and sad and decides it’s his problem now
Yes he’s an influencer, a viner (think of Thomas sanders…yeah it’s kinda in that vein because you KNOW he would..) and a blogger
He’s not going to pressure you to be on camera but he will want to be connected to you
Frequent patron of the fro-yo shop
Gets chummy with your boss so he’s allowed to loiter and watch you
He loves seeing what you’re up to! And if any rude customers come by he’ll always help
He almost got offered a job but he declined, since he makes money already
How? Singing acapella or acoustic covers with his guitar:
It’s not the songs it is the face. He’s just hot (but he can play well.
Oh his Ed Sheeran covers go CRAZY
ALSO Yeah he loves mustaches. He’s on top of the trends and blends into them (makes him more appealing)
Speaking of he hopes you think he’s appealing…
He will creep into your life, little by little
Will invite you out to have some fun! Like Kareoke!
Don’t let that beanie and mustache finger fool you that is still a yandere right there
He’s keeping tabs on youuuu! And even finding merch you like to gift to you (as if he didn’t snoop in your home)
You seem like a very lovely person, and he’s going to make sure nothing happens to you
his hole is to make enough money to convince you to live with him
He’ll respect it if you don’t want to be that close
But also with his popularity the moment you’re in ONE picture or video…his fans will be MAD
Oh of course Jack will do whatever he can to keep those fans at bay!! :( But he can’t always protect you if you don’t live together…it would be SO unfortunate if a fan broke in…
Especially knowing how fangirls were about 1D…yeah this is working
if it’s not and you leave, Jack makes a sad announcement that he needs a break after some unfortunate news…
Those fans will contact the dots with you no longer in th pics he posts…and they’ll STILL be mad…how DARE you upset such a perfect man!
…Safe to say you’ll be doomed either way, so why not make it easier for the both of you and accept him?
Bonus doodle:
SURPRISE BONUS:
Joseph:
(IM SORRY THAT HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE A COOLER NICK)
Oh yeah your favorite Spencer’s employee
Actually he’s an actor for real
if Jack is his twin then they’re just…not telling anyone
It riles up conspiracy theories and makes them both popular…so…
Joseph’s kind of been on a hiatus due to the pressure of Hollywood getting to him
:( Still a smoker, a heavy one
Seeing that you’ll let him smoke if it’s at closing time so he can rest is very sweet of you
Once again there is a band tee underneath all those layers
Not a fan of trends but he does like looking into them
has a secret Tumblr account
…OKAY THATS IT…I apologize to anyone who read ALL of this…
canon accurate jameson outfit in tfg btw
what if millers maxi buns was one of those millennial burger joints. you know the ones. $25 burgers and truffle fries served in a metal container. established in 1960, opened in 2017. you know EXACTLY what im talking about
listen U2 is Destiel coded in multiple ways a. by virtue of many of their lyrics being topically relevant and b. by virtue of being known primarily for being cringey af so what im trying to say is where my destiel u2 girlies at let's have an excessively earnest dance party what do you say
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