4/7/22 - a life update of sorts
howdy everyone!! it's been a while since i've been here (i'm more active on my main blog again!) but i do have fun news to share here!
for a while, i have been going through what is essentially hell at my current job. it's been bad enough that i had to start therapy again because i have had multiple breakdowns in the span of 14 months. it's been really bad. my therapist told me that i have a toxic work environment and that truthfully, unless i could get another job, i would have to do my best to not let everything get to me.
well, that brings us to today! or rather, tomorrow, actually.
i'm quitting!! i got an offer from the company that a cousin of mine works with that is far better than where i am now and i said yes to them! tomorrow, i'll be handing in my resignation at my current job (my boss was on vacation this week) and in two weeks, i start my new job!
i haven't been so excited in such a long time about job prospects like this but it's new and freeing. it's very different from what i currently do but still, i'm excited to learn! i also think it's hilarious that my job is literally 3 minutes down the street from my partner's house (i timed it). the only downside really is the drive (i live pretty far away) but i can make that sacrifice, it won't kill me. plus, i already know the area and i know where all the boba tea shops are now since my good friend lives in that area too.
i'm just....... happy again. terrified, absolutely, and i was actually crying about it to my partner the other day because i do get scared of change, especially a change this big. of course, it's not a bad thing but sometimes, you get so used to your established routine that the thought of it being changed in any way is just terrifying. i am very much a creature of habit and routine so anything that disrupts that is almost seen like a threat now. it's like when you get used to being in a toxic relationship, you can't think of a future without everything that comes with that. maybe it's a re-revelation that i've been in a toxic environment again for so long that this feels like both relief and fear for something new. i'm definitely going to cry on my first day haha 😅
but i just wanted to write it out a bit. it's part of the journey in recovering and becoming a happier person. nothing, especially in recovery, is linear but being able to sort it out for myself and understanding that this is an excellent change for me is a good thing. it helps to remind myself that i am a good person deserving of good things.
