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Chat noir: So Ladybug, is it alright if I leave my patrol to one of the other heroes?
Ladybug: Sure chat noir, but may I ask why?
Chat noir: oh, it’s just it’s my aniversary with my girl friend and I want to prepare something nice for her.
Ladybug: of course kitty, go for it.
(Chat noir leaves)
Ladybug: (realization) Oh crap! I forgot my aniversary with Adrien!
Behold! The Most Terrifying Thing You’ve Ever Witnessed:
The Chat in the Hat
Felix: Adrien, we arent real.
Adrien: Of course we are.
Felix: No, we are sentimonsters.
Adrien: Thats ridiculous, if that was true then that would mean... (Eyes went wide)
Felix: Yup
Adrien: Felix I am so sorry. Aunt Amelia is shadowmoth.
Felix:... (Pinches the bridge of his nose) Please try again.
Adrien: Oh... OH... Oh no.
Felix: There we go
(Battling an akuma) Ladybug: OH NO! Chat noir, the only way to beat the akuma is to pretend we are dating! Quick, hold my hand
Chat noir: On it!
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Ladybug: Another Akuma! Quick Chat noir we need to kiss on top of the Eiffel tower in order to win.
Chat noir: I am on it!
__________________________________________________
Ladybug: This akuma is incredibly tough. Chat noir, the only way for us to win is for you to pretend propose to me at this picnic in the park in front of my... I mean in front of the Dupain-Cheng family.
Chat noir: Shadowmoth sure is cranking out tougher akuma, dont worry Bugaboo, I wont let you down.
__________________________________________________
Ladybug: Shadowmoth is now relentless! That sentimonster will destroy Paris unless we pretend to get married at Notre Dame. Of course I already made preparations to make it look completely convincing. Chat noir, you will need to get in a tux.
Chat noir: Thank goodness you are three steps ahead Ladybug. Will we need to kiss at the fake wedding and have a fake reception?
Ladybug: Of course! Excellent thinking! You really are strategic when you put your mind to it.
Chat noir: I learned from the best.
(they head out)
Carapace: I am so lost... how does this help?
Ryuuko: I have no idea, but Ladybug is a master strategist, so clearly there are moves we are not seeing.
Pegasus: Indeed, even I cant figure it out. Truly their genius is unquestioned.
King monkey: It just looks like an excuse to have a wedding to me. Man I really am not following.
Viperion: (the only one that actually knows whats going on, and doing his best not to scream)
__________________________________________
Nino: So you are saying you want to kiss Marinette?
Adrien: (Blushing) No! That isnt what I mean! I am just saying that sometimes I see Marinette look sad, and her lips look lonely.
Nino: Uh huh...
Adrien: And the thought pops up "Maybe if my lips were touching hers they wouldnt be lonely."
Nino: So you don't want to kiss her... but you want to put your lips on her lips for a long period of time.
Adrien: Exactly.
Nino:... You are the reason I am going to become an alcoholic when I turn 18.
Alya: So you met a new Chat noir.
Marinette: Chat Walker
Alya: Who you say was too perfect for the job.
Marinette: (Blushing) Well, it is a bit more complicated than that. He was strategic and observant. He was everything I could want, but he wasnt what I needed.
Alya: Right... but you got so distracted by him that you ended up twisting your words and the only way for you to focus was by having him leave?
Marinette: Yea. It was unexpected. But if you met him, you would understand why. He is like a prince.
Alya: Marinette, Chat walker was probably Adrien.
Marinette: What?! No! That... Doesnt....
(Marinette connects the dots)
Alya: Marinette?
Marinette: (Blue screens)
Ladybug: Kitty, I have to ask. How do you stay so positive?
Chat noir: In comparison to the hell hole that is my civillian life, fighting akuma no matter how dire is a welcome reprieve.
Ladybug:Chat... You have been killed several times.
Chat noir: Yes.
Ladybug: Are you okay?
Chat noir: (Still smiling) No!
Akuma: I am Insult, my power is that I can deal damage with my sick burns
Chat noir: Oh please, like you can insult me.
Akuma: Says the furry with Daddy issues
Chat noir: (verbally and literally smacked into concrete) Run Ladybug, he is too strong.
Ladybug: Oh no you dont, you are getting taken down now.
Akuma: Oh please, you have done more damage to him than any akuma in this city
Ladybug: (feels a gut punch) Is... that all you got?
Akuma: Does the guardian know you let him down?
Ladybug: (sent flying)
