#mod xen

[pdid-safe-space]

the lack of resources on p-did is really annoying. i wish there was more public accounts and other stuff

that aside, does anyone ever feel like they're just a filter through which other alters' emotions pass through? or a medium for other alters' emotions and intentions if i'm making sense

yeah, it's really unfortunate,, i'm lucky to have been able to find some resources in my native language but they're also few and took multiple hours to find since most things are just the icd entry for p-did (i've actually found it to be harder to find p-did resources in english than my native language which is. wild)

and yeah, i do feel like that sometimes! especially since if alters want to talk with someone outside the system i usually have to write/communicate for them. or sometimes i'll start being annoyed by or hating something that i normally really like (e.g. the other day i was feeling pretty confused when i was getting really irrationally angry over bird chirping despite normally loving bird chirping, turns out it was feelings from another alter who was really annoyed from high-pitched sounds)

[haikyuu-plus]

Hi there! How would Oikawa, Kageyama, and Tsukishima react to confessing to their crush who is very dense about love? Like, the boys say "I like you" or something, and she just goes "??? Yeah of course I like you? We've known each other for a long time." And it's just impossible for her to take a confession seriously lol. Idk I just thought it would be funny seeing their reactions. Head cannons or scenarios; you can choose which would fit better. Thanks~

[This turned out more angsty than you probably wanted me to write.]

,,I like you, y/n.”

Oikawa: They poked his chest with their index finger.,,Listen, I know we’ve known each other other for a long time, but that doesn’t mean you can just casually practice your confession on me!”Despite their blunt expression, they had a smile on their face and Oikawa had to admit - it stung. Perhaps he had to expect an outcome like this. Perhaps he should have noticed his feelings for them sooner, before letting them in on the people he had taken an interest in. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so close and open with them and yet… He couldn’t help it.Oikawa sighed, rubbing his temple lightly. Next time… next time for sure!

Kageyama: For a split second his crush raised an eyebrow, a split-second that gave him the hope and the courage to continue with his confession. But he was interrupted by a chuckle, their fingers gently pulling at the hem of his sweatshirt. ,,I like you too, Kageyama-kun! And you know what else I like? Some fresh milk from our favorite vending machine!”He was dumbfounded. Not that it was noticeable to them, but Kageyama swallowed, his head feeling light.This was not the like that he meant. It was different, soft, ethereal even. To him it had been the first time he had ever associated like with something so intimate and grounding. Kageyama let out a sigh and lifted his eyes from the ground to look at his crush. And there they were, their silky hair swaying in the wind, as their bouncing steps led them to the vending machine. And then, as if destiny hadn’t punished him enough, they turned around to face him, their lips turning into a feathery smile. 

Tsukishima: They looked up at him from the pages they were scanning just a moment ago. ,,Are you mocking me?”, they inquired, a mischievous smile on their lips. With a chuckle, they turned their attention back to their book.Tsukishima gulped. His hands were sweaty, trembling even and deep inside he knew that, in all honesty, he was mocking himself. He had laid awake the entire night, mustering the courage to tell them his feelings, calculating, planning the perfect moment to tell them. And here he was. Sitting opposite from them in a library. The ticking sound of the clock resounded loudly in his ears as Tsukishima stared at the table. Observed how his crush absentmindedly placed one hand on the dark wood, lightly tapping their fingers. He hated to admit it, but he was a coward. A coward for not reaching out to hold their hand.

[xen-edits]

hello!!!

i’m so sorry for that little,, unannounced hiatus, ehehe,,,

take the girlfriends as compensation <3

BUT

i’m back and requests are open!!

my inbox is a little empty, so request stuff and you get a spaghetti. a single spaghet. (spaghet? spaghetti? whats the singular word lmao)

(p.s: you can expect a new theme soon (definitely not mei hatsume why would you think that))

could i possibly get a little promo? (feel free to ignore!!)

@froggykinz @gremedits @cottoncandy-kins @helin-edits @cafe-genshin @korematsu @radiaes @despairkinn​ @addictedkinn​ @mocha-edits @swagkins @shitty-multi-fandom-edit-blog @glitchcoretsumugi​ @lilhomeroom-edits  @danganronpa-cafe​ 

[shieldspell101]

SpellShield as spoken in gifs;

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First meetings

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Thinking about him

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Missing him

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If you so much as touch a hair on his head

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BONUS;

It's an invitation

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- Xen

[pdid-safe-space]

just wanted to say that i hope all p-did systems reading this have a wonderful day today!

[pdid-safe-space]

hiiii!!!! if possible i’d like to be 🩻 anon if thats cool

tbh i don’t really view myself as a system, just a person with pDID. i feel like we stick out like a sore thumb in system spaces, and that despite us all being plural, theres this weird disconnect i have with others.

it’s especially hard when i have a lot of alters who want to interact with others. when other alters want to talk, i as the host have to be the messenger between them and the outside world. idk i just feel like its a struggle i havent seen non pDID systems talk about

yep, i'll add it to the anon claims on the pinned post! :]

yeah, i've actually talked about this on our personal system blog, that we feel like we don't fit in with systems, but also not with singlets. it's hard to relate to other systems because P-DID just functions differently than most other systems and a lot of common system experiences don't really apply to us.

yes!! this used to be a really big issue for us (nowadays not so much since our friend circle is pretty small and only 2 people know we are a system). my alters wanted to talk to other people outside of the system and i always had to be the one to relay the message. i think this is probably a struggle only really prominent with P-DID systems since P-DID kinda comes prepacked with a dominant alter/fronstuck host, so it's not as pronounced for other systems if that makes sense

[pdid-safe-space]

the other ask actually reminded me of something; i'm curious, but did other p-did systems think they were osdd-1b before finding out about p-did?

we've known we're a system for roughly 10 years now and for most of it we said we were osdd-1b despite not really feeling like we belong because we barely had any switches at all, since the p-did diagnosis in the icd didn't exist until 2022 (i think?)

[pdid-safe-space]

Question for other P-DID systems; how and how often do you usually experience switches? Generally, what is switching like to you, when does it usually happen, how does it feel?

– 👁

Ooo, interesting question!! I'll put our answer below a cut cuz it got a bit long ^^;

We only experience full switches extremely rarely, I think I've mentioned it previously but I can count all full switches I am aware of on 2 hands. Most of the time we are just co-con or co-fronting, although we often just feel blurry when co-fronting, like logically we know I'm here since I'm our host but we have a hard time telling who else is in front at the time.

I'm not very aware of what switches are like since I am usually not really conscious for them (as in, I am asleep or otherwise out cold) but in the rare times I'm there (usually in extremely distressing/emotionally taxing situations) it's like I suddenly pop back in but feel super exhausted, both emotionally and physically and generally just feel really confused. For all other switches I'm none the wiser unless someone tells me I was acting off or I notice something I know for a fact wasn't that way before (like one time someone opened the window in the middle of the night w/o me knowing).

Our co-host, T, has described it as suddenly waking up alone, which is a very strange experience since normally I am always at the very least co-fronting. T also usually feels tired during a full switch, but that may be attributed to most of the full switches we know of happening when we've only had a few hours of sleep.

Otherwise, we only have one other alter who has fronted during a full switch (that we know of anyways), H. He's said it doesn't feel that different to co-fronting for him, just that he has more/full control and is alone, which is weird but not as off-putting to him as to T. H doesn't share the same experience as T in that he doesn't feel tired during a full switch, unlike T, despite both fronting during similar situations (we've only had a few hours of sleep). He doesn't necessarily feel energized or well rested, just normal. (He doesn't know how to describe the feeling well.)

I don't have any memories of these full switches and usually only find out about them if someone in our family tells me I was off or did something I don't remember doing at all, or if the alter in question tells me about it themself.

T & H have both told me the full switches are very short and T has said he's never experienced a full switch that's lasted longer than 30 minutes.