#monosexual discourse

[wheelbearrow]

I love how people have started saying that gays are just as privileged as cishets svrhijskmij fuck off with your homophobia please

[demi-bi-barry]

Okay so I have done some thinking and research and I no longer believe that monosexual gays are privileged over m-spec people, and I no longer believe that monosexual gays oppress m-spec people. The reason being is that monosexual gays do not have the power in society to be able to oppress m-spec gays. Since we are all oppressed by cishet society, and the number of monosexual gays in society is much less than the number of cishets, they do not have the societal power to oppress us. Also, biphobic and panphobic cishets tend to also be homophobic (as well as transphobic, aphobic, etc, but that’s different), and monosexual gays are in no way treated well by cishet society. There are certain kinds of discrimination that m-spec people face that monosexual gays do not, but there are also kinds of discrimination monosexual gays face that us m-spec folks don’t either. So, monosexual gays do not oppress and do not hold privilege over us m-specs, but biphobia/panphobia/polyphobia/etc are still very real experiences and definitely exist within the queer community, and we still need to call out monosexual gays who are being biphobic.

[radiqueer]

should there be exclusive words? kinda like how mspec people have monosexual and aspec people have allosexual and trans and nb people have cis–should gay and lesbian people have exclusive terms relating to their orientation?

[stfudiscoinfernoed-archive]

The idea that society encourages single gender attraction rather then heterosexuality is... a really bad take. To be a woman is to want men. To be a man is to want women. These are the edicts society believes in. Same gender attraction is either a moral failure that can be overcome, a disease/disorder, or another way to titulate the opposite gender. It is not considered a long lasting or genuine thing. Being bi or gay rejects that premise and neither are truly identities that society encourages.

[leszula]

the idea that gays and lesbians are ALWAYS immediately believed in terms of their sexualities as opposed to bi/pan people who are not believed, is not only just blatantly untrue (and also, when has ‘being believed’ ever equated to unconditional privilege? people believe immediately that i’m not white, but that doesn’t make me privileged over a white-passing person of colour like what the hell???), but also it doesn’t take into account how much women’s sexuality is seen as being irrevocably changed by the presence of and for the benefit of men.

like lots of gay women i know are constantly asked if they are sure they’re not bi, not just because they have dated men in the past, but also because THERE ARE MEN ATTRACTED TO THEM, so surely they must be attracted to those guys right??

women’s sexuality has always been policed to no end, and to pretend that lesbianism is exempt from this, and is somehow an ‘uncomplicated’ sexuality that doesn’t get questioned and restricted at every turn, shows a blatant laziness when it comes to listening to the experiences of lesbians

thank you for listening to my ted talk

[discoursejelly]

I finally made a discourse blog because I'm fucking tired of seeing this monosexual discourse on my dash when it should have ended in 2014.

I'm bisexual myself. The idea of lumping in our LG siblings with straight people is so fucking wild. It's disgusting and homophobic. It's completely ignoring the fact that homophobia and lesbophobia exist, and bi/pan/MGA people can be homophobic and lesbophobic!!!!! Biphobia also exists but it doesn't make us somehow more oppressed or oppressed by LG people. LG people are not the ones in power to oppress us you fucks. Get this discourse off of my dash and my bisexual tags please I'm fucking sick of it.

I don't see enough fellow bi/pan umbrella people speaking out when people in our community pull this shit. It's always lesbians, which, love and bless them, but it's not their job to speak out against people fucking it up in our own community u know? So please spread the word. Monosexual still isn't a thing.

[gaysagainstbugs]

i honestly don't so much inherently have a problem with the term "monosexual" so much as it's common useage but i still think it's really unnecessary? like, if you're talking about gay & straight people you can say gay & straight people & if you're talking about people who aren't bi you can say non-bi people. i would compare it to how we don't have a term for non-gay people, you could argue that bi & straight people have "being attracted to the other binary gender" in common but that's just as incoherent a "grouping" as "people who are attracted to one binary gender" in terms of like, overall uselessness? like, in general we aren't going to be talking about bi & straight people as one coherent group especially in the context of discussions about privilege/oppression or w/e because those are two groups with like Entirely Different Experiences so why would we need a word grouping bi & straight people you know? and i feel the same way about a word that groups gay & straight people together, there might be times where you are wanting to talk about gay & straight people such as when discussing biphobia, but you can just....say 'gay & straight people'? again im sure plenty of people use "monosexual" innocently but using the word does still group gay & straight people & absolutely does feed into people viewing "monosexuals" as a coherent Oppressive Class & then using that as an excuse for blatantly homophobic statements & views

[mypolitics]

Listen, I don't personally think the words allosexual/romantic and monosexual are bad when just talking about non-ace/bi people. BUT. I recognise that many people who experience attraction and attraction to one gender DO and feel hurt by it. As a bi person, it costs me nothing to just say "not bi". It's even less syllables. Why cling to words that are hurtful to people when there are other words that would do better? By just saying "not/non ace/aro/bi", everyone understands, and no one is hurt.