#moomaw

[theartofblossoming]

Vaultoween #1: Brahmin

Here you go @nightingaelic ! 'Lucky' Ricky Gee and his wife Sofia have a brahmin on their homestead farm. She's a bit of an old gal who likes to kick but still grants them the creamiest milk now and then. 'Moo-Maw' grazes on the lush Appalachian grass near the famous Cowspots Creamery.

[foryouandbits]

So I’m pretty sure if Bitty was afraid to come out to his parents he was also terrified of coming out to his Moomaw, who’s even more southern and old fashioned, but honestly that couldn’t have gone better because all Moomaw has ever wanted was someone to cook for and wowee can that Jack Zimmermann eat.

Bitty might have spent that summer before Senior year with Jack and didn’t see his parents for months on end but I’d be damned if they didn’t get a temperature-sensitive weekly delivery of Moomaw’s best.

[cricketnationrise]

so formal!

full fic on AO3 here

for @zimbitsweddingofficial

day 1: pre-wedding

_X_  _   _X_

Bitty’s in MooMaw’s kitchen, helping her with the last batch of pies for the Fourth of July. Jack is helping his parents set up outside, putting his height and muscles to good use. Deep breaths, you can do this. Right as he gets ready to ask, MooMaw breaks the silence.

“Now, Dicky, why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you. You’ve been tenser than a mouse in a cat parade this afternoon.”

“Sorry, MooMaw, I didn’t mean to be. It’s just, uh – I was wondering, um,” he exhales sharply before just blurting out, “Iwaswonderin’ifIcouldhavePopPaw’sringtoproposetoJack.”

“One more time love, these ol’ ears didn’t quite catch that.”

“I was wonderin’, well, hoping, I could maybe – if you don’t mind – and if you do that’s totally fine I won’t be mad or anything – if I could have PopPaw’s wedding ring.”

“PopPaw’s wedding ring?”

“Uh-huh. To propose to Jack.”

“Now Dicky, I know I’m a little out of the loop, but I could have sworn I got a very excited phone call from your mother the day you graduated sayin’ you were engaged to the tall glass of water out there.”

 “MooMaw.”

“What? It’s not like I’m dead! He’s a very attractive fellow,” she says, a wicked grin lighting her features. “But aren’t I right, y’all are engaged aren’t ya?”

“Yes MooMaw, he proposed to me and I said yes,” he says, kneading the pie crust dough a touch too hard. “I just – I wanted to propose to him as well.” He looks up from the dough to look her dead in the eyes.

“I want him to feel as amazing and wanted and loved as I did when he proposed. It was one of the best days of my life, MooMaw, and I love him. Why wouldn’t I want him to get to have that feeling too?”

“Oh, Dicky,” she cries, throwing her floury arms around him, “you’ve grown into such a wonderful man. I know PopPaw would have been proud to see who you’ve become.” She pulls back to wipe her eyes.

“Of course you can have the ring. It’s mean to be worn, after all, does no good to anyone just sittin’ in my jewelry box.”

“Thank you, MooMaw.” Bitty’s not crying. He’s not. Oh who is he kidding, he’s totally crying.

“I just – I thought it might be a sort of good luck charm. Y’all were married so long and you loved each other so much I just thought – “

“I already said yes, Dicky, there’s no need to make me sob young man,” she says thickly, “you stop being so emotional right now, we have pies to make.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says, kissing her on the cheek before turning back to the dough.

Step one: complete.

_X_  _  _X_

“BITTY!!!!!”

“YOU’RE HERE!”

Bitty can’t help but beam as he walks up the sidewalk toward the front door of Haus 2.0.

“Hi you two, I—” He’s cut off with a noise that doesn’t sound human as he’s scooped up by Ransom and thrown into Holster’s arms. These boys.

They’re all laughing by the time Bitty’s feet are on the ground again.

“It’s a good thing I’m not making a pie 'till later, I wouldn’t want to try and hold onto one while flying through the air.”

“Bro, we would never endanger a pie!” Bitty’s never seen the two of them look so offended.

“Glad you’re here, Bitty. It hasn’t been just us since we lived in the Haus!” Holster says.

They get inside and start on a six pack and get down to business.

“Alright so – it came? And neither Shitty or Lardo saw it?” Bitty asks.

“Got it right here, bro.” Holster hands him a small box pulled from the highest cabinet behind a collection of ugly vases.

“Do we get to know what this secret package is?” says Ransom.

“Yeah, plus I need your help with the second part,” Bitty says as he carefully opens the box. He gasps. Thank god for Etsy, it looks perfect. They even managed to get his cowlick to stand up.

“Uhhh, Bitty?”

“Hmmm?”

“Not that it isn’t stupidly adorable – look at the little C on your jersey – but why do you have a Lego version of yourself? No, better question, why was it secret?”

“Both excellent points, Holtzy.”

“This is how I’m going to counter propose to Jack.”

There’s a beat of absolute silence and then—

“HOLY SHIT BITTY!”

“That’s GENIUS, bro!”

The congratulatory screaming only dies down when they hear a door slam down the hall. Oops I guess we were being a tad loud for the other roommate.

“You said you needed our help for the second part?” asks Holster.

“Yeah, I want to make a Lego-sized version of the “yo marry me” sign but I couldn’t remember the colors or layout well enough and I know Shitty has it in his closet.”

“Bitty, bro, your brain is so big. Our little frog, all grown up—”

“—And savin’ China!” Ransom finishes, giggling.

“Oh hush you two,” he says, swatting them playfully, “Now then. I don’t think it has to be Lego-sized because Jack will never be able to read it, but I think if we scale it down to about postcard size that’ll work as a nice backdrop.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

It’s a nice afternoon, and it’s hilarious watching two huge and broad-shouldered men hunch over a tiny piece of cardboard, arguing about font size while he makes a pie.

Well two pies. But one is mini pie as an apology to the random roommate. They may not be “down to motherfucking clown” but Bitty knows his friends (and himself) can be a lot to deal with.

Bitty’s just put the full size one in the oven when Ransom and Holster finish.

“Y’all… It looks great. Thank you so much.” Bitty didn’t think a sign that ridiculous would make him cry but there’s definitely some tears.

“Got your back, Bitty,” Ransom says.

“Mama Mia while we wait for the pie?” He laughs a little as Holster pumps his fist in triumph, “I’ll just nip this stuff out to the car for safekeeping while y’all set it up.”

Step two: complete.

_X_  _  _X_

Everything’s finally ready.

He’s got the Lego-Bitty, with Ransom and Holster's sign as the backdrop. He made a pie for later (and about three kinds of cookies - so sue him he was nervous). Señor Bun is probably tired of having to listen to Bitty rehearse his speech by now. PopPaw's ring is nestled oh-so-carefully in Lego-Bitty's hands. Now he just needs Jack to get back from practice.

He hears the key turn in the door.

[nsyncope]

so today my guest lecturer for one of my classes is “Professor Moomaw”

I already know he’s a dude but I’m still 100% expecting some sweet southern old lady to come tottering through the door and talk to us about veterinary medicine but also go on tangents about jam, and how good of a baker her grandson is, and that she just met his boyfriend who’s such a nice young man and perfect for her grandson, etc etc

[baavri]

Bolar Mountain, Virginia

[ohyafumi]

“awake me from my nightmare!”

[omgpieplease]

Would you be so kind as to sketch bitty introducing jack to moomaw as his boyfriend? I simply adore all of your art!

Okay Jack you’re laying on the Hockey Prince Zimmermann Charm a little strong there. Reel it in she loves you enough already.

[pongpalace]

day 5 of #omgcpwomenweek: sexual/gender identities 

Zelda didn't know there was a word for it when she was young. Well, she knew there were words that described it as immoral and wrong and disgusting but after Dicky brings his boyfriend home for the first time, Zelda gets comfortable in her favourite armchair and opens up the Google on her iPad to ask its opinion of the best recipes for showing you’re supportive of your gay grandson and all his choices.

Somewhere along the way, Zelda taps on something that brings her to about the different types of sexualities and she pauses when she sees that the list is longer than hetero- and homosexual. Her eyes catch on the word bisexual and she brings the screen close to read the description. Her mouth goes dry and she puts the ipad down for a moment. She takes her reading glasses off, and lets them dangle from the chain around her neck while she rubs at her eyes. They’re very wet all of a sudden.

There’s a word.

There’s a word to describe how she feels.

There’s a word that she can use to talk about herself and the relationships she had before she met Owen- god rest his soul- and reading it settles something at the base of her spine.

“Bisexual,” Zelda whispers to herself, liking the way the word curls around her tongue. “I’m bisexual.” She touches her cheek and laughs; the words together feel like coming home, like taking a pie out of the oven at just the right time.

With shaking hands, Zelda brings her iPad back into her lap. She presses the button at the bottom to leave the internet article and swipes screens until she finds the green icon for facecalls. She looks at the list of names, family members from all over the state, but scrolls through, knowing exactly who she wants to talk to.

“Hi Dicky,” she says smiling when the call music cuts off. “I hope you’re well baby.” She takes a deep breath. “There’s something I want to tell you.”