Wayne is twenty three. He’s in a bar with all his friends, dunk more beer than he can afford, and is laughing like the darkness of the world couldn’t possibly touch him.
Benny passes him a smoke, Wayne lights it and tosses his zippo across the table to Lonnie, inhales and lets his head feel spacey for a moment, tunes back into the conversation and makes a stupid joke about Ricky’s inability to get a girl in bed.
Piano Man starts playing, and the same thing happens as every other Friday night spent in this grimy bar; they all start to sing.
Half the boys jump up and put on a show, they’re all laughing and tossing used napkins and stubby lids at them, making fun. Hopper swings his arm over Wayne’s shoulder, leans in and points at the concert before them, tells them they look like a bunch of fags and laughs. Wayne laughs too, but his skin feels hot where Hoppers arm lays. His beer and cigarette stained breath is a cool summer breeze when he looks in Wayne’s direction.
Their proximity is nothing unusual, boys leaning on boys when pissed cause they can’t hold each other up, swaying together from the intoxication, brethren leaning in close to crack crude jokes or drunkenly tell each other how much they secretly care.
But to Wayne, it’s different. Hopper is close and it’s like standing beside a roaring flame with your feet nailed into the ground. He wants to run away but he cannot, he couldn’t if he tried.
Hopper looks at him, his laugh falls short and Wayne’s does too, and just as quickly as he leant forward, he pulls away like nothing happened. They go back to sitting beside one another, careful to let no one know of that filth stained secret they keep locked away in the bin of Wayne’s pickup truck, under the star studded sky in the dark of night, not a soul to be seen for miles.
But under the table, their knees touch through thick, dirt stained jeans. Wayne’s heart races, but he wills it not too. He can’t help it though, his heart is aflame.
They sing along to Piano Man with the rest of their friends, skull another pint, and pretend nothing ever happened. And from then on, as it has for months prior, Wayne cannot listen to Piano Man without tearing his heart apart.
