I wanna be in control
Something is preventing me from moving on but have no idea what it is, even if it is closse to 2 months. I know people said i should stop writing this or maybe tired of seeing it but this is my way of letting out my emotions so i don’t put on a even more heavy burden on myself. And if i have learned anything from my support group and mentor, is that is it NOT HEALTHY. Think part of it is how it all ended and that i brought 2 other very close friends into this whole mess, having a hard time forgiving myself for that. Don’t know what to say anymore, just makes my days hard and hurting stomach, all the things keep comming to my head, all the things i could have said and thought of saying but i already know that wouldn’t make any difference and hard to watch my fav movies because that person just comes to mind ): I really wanna be able to look forward, truly move on and actually be happy, i have my moments but then it all returns and it sucks, hate that someone have so much power over me, even though the person blocked me everywhere, like it is still controlling me from behind the curtains. To know That thing is still out there is even harder. Sorry for all that, i am talking alot with my mentor about this and i want some more advice on how to best deal with this <3
And yes this one fits way to well into my problems, not just current ones but just in general, big overthinker










