Rereading Metaphysical Determinism (specifically Objects at Rest) and having Thoughts about Analogical doing naughty experiments with dom!Logan/sub!Virgil... and, of course, taking notes.
Seeing how long it takes with different types of stimulation to make Virgil cry
Pushing to see how many times Virgil can come in a night
Tying Virgil up and touching them everywhere except for where she really wants it until he begs
Drifting into a more bratty!Virgil area-- Virgil teasing Logan in public, and once they're along Virgil puts on the angel face and says "I was just doing an experiment"
Seeing how long Virgil can wear a sex toy (be it a plug or a vibrator or a chastity device or whatever) without anyone catching on
Wizard! Shenanigans! To quote the great Liam O'Brian "What's Sexier Than Wizards? Nothing!"
Edging via bringing Virgil sooooo close.... and then letting them go and saying "Wait, I need to write something down..." (in the vein of 'the difference between science and messing around is writing it down')
They've got a spreadsheet somewhere, I'm sure. >:D
Losing it at "I was just doing an experiment" aw cute well heres your results :)
Pairing: Mostly Platonic DLAMPR, bit of analogical in the beginning
Word count: 1015
Warnings: none this is pure fluff
Notes: Part of my Metaphysical Determinism verse!
for @i-cant-find-a-good-username over on my patreon!
thank you to @the-inky-isles for beta-reading!
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“Dearest,” said Logan plaintively.
“No,” said Virgil, crossing his arms and leaning bodily back from Logan’s front door. “You sounded way too excited for me to open the door and that means explosions and that means no way, no how, nuh-uh for me, no thank you.”
Logan, who could recognize that Virgil was mostly being dramatic for comedic effect to alleviate his own anxiety, sighed fondly.
“Virgil,” he laughed, “please come into the house.”
“You’ll never take me alive.”
“You are small enough,” said Logan idly, “I might be able to bodily carry you.”
Virgil snorted.
“You can barely carry your half of the groceries.”
“I would hardly describe it as ‘my half,’” replied Logan, “I get perhaps three kinds of instant meal and condiments. Except for whatever vegetables you manage to sneak into my bags, since you so passionately prefer them to rot in my crisper rather than yours.”
“You’re supposed to eat them, L!”
“Come in,” said Logan, barely holding back a grin, “and you can make me eat one of the vegetables.”
Virgil glared for several seconds before aggressively throwing his hands in the air.
“Fine, fine! In we go to the death trap.” he groused, walking under Logan’s arm as Logan opened the door.
“SURPRISE!”
“Aaaaaaaa!” Virgil screamed, diving behind Logan.
“While I would not characterize it as ‘deadly,’ yes, it was a trap,” laughed Logan, moving Virgil around in front of him. “Happy Birthday, dearest.”
“I hate you all,” said Virgil, a lacework of hysterical laughter flirting around the edges of his voice, “you bastards.”
“I told you he’d hate the yelling,” scolded Patton playfully.
“That’s what makes it fun!” said Remus, bounding over to pull Virgil toward the wall of clothing Virgil was staring at, wide-eyed.
“It’s not a true birthday party unless you hate it just a little bit,” said Roman sagely, “like putting salt on chocolate.”
“What is all of this?” said Virgil incredulously, running his hands over the soft black fabrics that lined the wall.
“We pooled in on one present!” said Patton, bouncing over and wrapping his arm around Virgil’s and hugging him. “We rented as many black costumes as the costume shop would let us.”
“The intention is that you’re going to treat us like lifesize dolls,” said Devin dryly, “so you wouldn't have to have all the attention on you. But if you would rather perform a fashion show of one, we will of course enjoy it just as well.”
“No way,” said Virgil, shuddering a little even as he was grinning, “but I will absolutely have a hell of a time dressing all of you up. I need pompous royal shit for Roman first-”
“Hey!”
Virgil disappeared in a whirl of fabrics, tossing them with gleeful direction at the five of them while giving them playfully imperious orders.
They went through several outfits and variations on them apiece. Virgil finally settled on one for each of them, and Logan found himself having more fun than he’d thought he would.
Virgil seemed to have gone in the “mad wizard” direction for him... a crisp black shirt and ascot under a form-fitting vest was paired with gloves and a pair of rather steampunk goggles on his head. A duster that Logan suspected was substituting for a lab robe was worn over that.
Virgil had gone in the fairytale direction for Roman and Remus, but he obviously hadn’t actually meant to make fun of Roman. Remus’s was looser, more flowing, some of the pieces askew and making him look rather roguish, while Roman looked – almost shockingly – severe and cold in perfectly pressed and poised, head-to-toe jet. Virgil had even done a quick sweep of make-up, paling Roman and painting his lips to match his blood red hair (grumbling about how Roman was “too ugly for his vision” but clearly delighting in Roman’s entire costume). The effect was rather vampiric.
To Devin, he’d gone fully Victorian, shyly holding up a bustle that Devin had snatched up with glee. Virgil declared him to look “like a nineteenth-century widow who most definitely killed her husband” and Logan couldn’t help but agree.
Virgil had saved Patton for last, which Logan at first assumed was because he would be the most difficult – Patton warmly tan skin and woodsy curls and apple cheeks did not, on Logan’s first instinct, lend themselves to goth fashion.
But it soon became clear that Virgil had saved him for last because he had the most fleshed out ideas for him – Virgil flicked through the clothes, muttering, looking for specific things where he’d taken the inspiration from the clothes he saw to the rest of them.
Finally, Virgil stepped back from doing Patton’s makeup fully, and nodded, showing Patton to the mirror.
Virgil had dove back into the fantasy clothing, in a more whimsical direction from Roman and Remus. Patton was layered in skirts and gowns of silvery tulle, his makeup accentuating his freckles with glitter. He did look like some kind of deceptively cherubic dark fairy, and Logan considered himself somewhat more of an expert on the subject than most.
Roman made a big show of falling to his knees solemnly.
“Dear one,” he said, holding his hand out beseechingly, “I swoon of your beauty!”
“Yeah, yeah, break it up,” said Virgil, shooing him with his foot and wrapping Patton in an embrace. “It’s my birthday, I have dibs on all the baby brother time I want.”
“Virgil!” whined Patton, half laughing, “I’m not a baby!”
“Baby to meeeee,” said Virgil, squeezing him hard and then abruptly switching to noogie-ing him.
“Off, off-off-off, you meanie-!”
“Wrestliiiiiiing!” shouted Remus, yanking off his shirt and diving into the “fray.” Roman followed immediately, because the twins shared a collective three brain cells.
“Rather silly, aren’t they?” he said, sotto voce, to Devin, who gave him a deadpan look.
“Please,” said Devin, “I am the only voice of reason here. If this were intellectual chicanery, you would be right there with them.”
“But it is not,” said Logan reasonably, “so I get points.”
Logan's grandfather is not like... a monster exactly, but he's very old fashioned and ignorant and incredibly petty
he's also not technically Logans grandfather, but more like his great-great-great-ad-nauseum grandfather, and his primary method of keeping up with his human descendants is being their warlock patron (Logan's mother is a warlock, as are all his maternal relatives)
So when Logan decided he wanted to be a wizard instead of a warlock, Jeanot took that VERY personally, and has basically been snipping at Logan every time they encounter each other since.
And his issue with Virgil is that he made a very ignorant comment the first time they met about how a quarterhobby would make a good housewife someday (Virgil was using she/her pronouns that day) and Virgil rightfully tore him a new asshole. Jeanot has since (only kind of half-sincerely) apologized, but Virgil's still very frosty to him.
i'm so glad you liked my recipe sjdkfks i wasn't sure if it was only funny to me but you certainly boosted my self-esteem :D
i really want to make another recipe when i have the time—i'm leaning towards one of the hobbitish ones for the "german grandma recipe passed down through generations" vibes since recipes of the sort are abundant in my house and just need to decide which one to do lol
some favorite details include
the fact that this piece of paper is also apparently his grocery list
the coffee stain
the incredibly ominous “DONT FORGET” in all caps, which is too far away from any particular piece of text to clue the reader in to what, exactly, he is supposed to not be forgetting
“no boiling water (ruins le” - which i can only presume was supposed to say “ruins leaves” and then Logan literally got distracted halfway through writing the sentence
“dish soap” written at the very bottom and completely contextless
You said a meet the parents story in mpd and I was immediately like OH NO FEAR but then remembered that Remus' parents aren't usually the scum of the earth in aus. You've taken over my brain!!
alskdjaslkdj yeah the twins parent in MPD are Dot and Larry! and Devin’s are Corbin and Sloane, Virgil and Patton’s mom is this universes pranks, and Logan’s mother and grandfather are (sort of) nonsense nicknames characters
so everyones got reasonably nice relationships with their parental figures! theres a little bit of tension in Logan’s family for him going into wizardry instead of becoming a warlock under his archfey grandfather like his mother, but its not ANYTHING on the level of bitchroys
Does mpd!Logan have a slate-paneled room, or is he saving up for one, or has he not realized the value of such a thing yet? I read a book once where a powerful wizard had a room like that - an already-prepared surface for all the diagrams and sigils he could want, without the cumbersome need of clearing and preparing a space.
Logan is a broke grad student living in an apartment so probably not, but i can imagine he wants one
