would it be a sin? | austin butler x fempresley!oc
part one
pairings: austin butler x fem!oc
word count: 3,422
summary: austin is over the moon about getting the lead role in the up and coming elvis biopic, but he's beginning to buckle under the immense pressure. there's a fine line that had to be drawn between himself and elvis presley, but it's beginning to blur as the days go by. when austin is introduced to lisa-marie's daughter, it's love at first sight. he's terrified of blending work with pleasure, but it's getting impossible to deny his heart.
warnings: mild cursing and fluff- the mouthwatering smut comes later.
notes:i wanted to start this first chapter off by saying that all of this is a work of fiction. i will be talking about things that are personal to both austin butler as well as the presley family, but i will be doing it with the utmost respect. this first chapter is tame, but there will be smut as well as the mention of the loss of family members through unfortunate circumstances in future chapters. the topics of drug use and death will not be romanticized or sensationalized in any way. if you have any requests for one shots for austin!elvis or austin butler x reader, please feel free to ask!
masterlist | requests are currently open for business !
Austin, most days, no longer felt like himself. It was hard to differentiate where Austin started and Elvis began. Over the months of nonstop research and dedication, the two of them melded together somehow. Who was who? He didn’t know anymore. Couldn’t really remember, either.
Austin wasn’t just playing a part in a film anymore. It felt too real. Too dangerous. It was bound to all get worse before it got better. When Baz officially calls it all a wrap and shuts off the cameras for good, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He was already flailing, trying to get a grip on things. . . on life. His long term relationship of nine years had ended towards the very beginning of the project. He had just cut and dyed his hair and had thrown himself into his art. Maybe it was his fault that things ended, but he didn’t regret it. Not even for an instant; no matter how horrible that may sound. Working on the movie had made it an easy transition from living everyday life with a long term partner to suddenly being single and alone. He had hidden himself away in his new flat in Australia. Due to Covid he rarely had any visitors. He had been able to sort out his own feelings back then. He took the time to really sort through his emotions and wrap his head around things.
His ex had been a major part of his life. She had helped to mold and shape him into the man that he was today. Austin had learned what he liked and didn’t like in a relationship. He learned how to be patient and how to properly care for a woman. She would always be an essential part of who he was- but as a building block. She had been an essential stepping stone. That first relationship had acted as his training wheels- but Austin knew how to ride now- so it was natural for him to take them off. So he had.
He mourned the relationship for a few short days, but the tears didn’t last for very long. He had ripped off the band-aid, and there was something oddly cathartic about it all. He felt better than he really had in years, and it was because things felt right. He had been resolute in his decision, and though he knew that it had been painful for her, she had agreed with him on all points. All that they had ever known was each other, and towards the five year mark, that had been the only thing that really kept them together. Familiarity and comfortability had been the glue that kept them stuck in that odd state of limbo. Austin stopped thinking about marriage and children as the years ticked by with her. He had stopped planning out their future. Instead they seemed to live day by day, making excuses to themselves and loved ones whenever anyone pried or if they tried to do any serious soul searching.
The call where he had ended things had only lasted fifteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds. He had kept things simple- sugar coated some things so that they would be easier for her to digest- and waited for her reaction. There had been tears. He could hear them, but she understood. He could tell that she agreed, and maybe that had been the hardest part of it all for her. The realization that they had been clinging onto each other for dear life, all while knowing that they weren’t the ones for each other. Change was a terrifying thing, and so they had ignored their own feelings and desires, hoping that eventually it would fade out.
Austin’s true feelings never flickered out though. They had stayed, and with it came the doubt. Then the decision.
He had told himself that he wouldn’t date for a while. He needed to dive head first into his project, and he couldn’t have any distractions. For a time that was exactly what he had done. He had put so much pressure on himself to do well that he found it hard to think of much else. He lived and breathed Elvis. For four long months there hadn’t been much else. It had been a lot to get used to for his friends and family. For the first couple of weeks, his sudden change of accent had been shocking for them. His father had been the most worried about it. He was scared about what would happen after they finished everything. Austin had assured everyone that he wanted the accent to feel natural to him, and that he had just chosen to take a more method approach so that he could fully immerse himself into the project.
These days, he had trouble remembering what he sounded like before they started filming. That was terrifying. He felt his grip on reality shifting. He was losing an uphill battle, because if he was going to be completely honest with himself, his mental health had never been all that great.
It was the day after that self realization that he had sought out personal advice, going to Tom Hanks in the hopes that he’d help to ground him. The man’s words had been simple, yet crucial. He needed to take time for himself. Not Elvis. Austin.
Austin had ordered a book later that night that reminded him of his years in high school. He had been forced to read it for an essay, but had found himself unable to put it down. Every night that week he curled up on the couch and read The Great Gatsby. Instead of feeling like somebody else completely, in those moments he only felt nostalgic. The line between Austin and Elvis had slowly been carved, no matter how faint.
But then she came along.
It had been a regular day on set, and a particularly hard one at that. After all of the karate lessons, dialect coaching, and dance classes the man was absolutely exhausted. He didn’t have too much left in him to give that day, and he was excited to crawl back home and fall asleep under his weighted blanket. He had moved to stand behind the camera, one of the crew member’s playing a scene back for him so that he could see exactly where he had gone wrong. Rather than moving his hips while he performed, he had been using his knees instead. He was hurting badly because of it, and it didn’t look the same. It didn’t look right. His mood had soured instantly, his blue eyes narrowing on the small screen as he took a step closer, watching his footing again and again. “Play that back one more time for me.” The crew member started to wind the shot back, but Baz had stepped in, his arm wrapped tightly around an unfamiliar figure. Austin was in no mood to meet anyone or exchange niceties with any of the extras. Not today at least. Today he was feeling majorly self conscious, and it was bleeding into his attitude.
“We’re about to wrap up for the day, so I wanted you to meet someone.” Austin wanted to groan. To ruffle his greased up hair and throw an absolute fit. The entire Presley family were eventually going to see the film, and he was letting them down, he just knew it. He was letting everybody down by this performance. How the hell was he supposed to smile and play nice? Austin turned on his heel, wishing that he had mastered the art of the fake smile over the years he had spent in Hollywood. He was good at acting, but he had the inability to be fake.
He turned on his heel, shoving his hands into the pockets of his blue slacks before eying Baz. The older man gently pushed the mystery woman forward, motioning with his head in her direction. Austin let his eyes focus on her in the dim studio lighting. He found himself instantly regretting everything. His initial expression, his inability to properly execute today’s scenes, the fact that he had eaten garlic hummus with his lunch that day- all of it.
Oh god, it was almost as though the world had shifted beneath his feet. His heart jumped up into his throat, his hands began to sweat, and he found it nearly impossible to function. All words escaped him. The only thing that left his lips for the first few seconds was a breathy huff, his blue eyes locking on her small figure. She was short and compact, daintily made in a way that made his protective instincts flare. Her hair was dark against the bright colors of her dress, the contrast a bit shocking. The first thing he noticed were her large eyes- so bright and so very blue. Then she smiled at him. The words weren’t the only thing to escape him. So had the ability to breathe. If Baz noticed the man’s reaction, he didn’t say anything. Instead he took the opportunity to fill the silence, gesturing between the two of them.
“Austin, this is Elliot. She wasn’t able to meet you back when we had the original luncheon with the rest of her family.” His reaction was delayed as he tried to piece together exactly what his director was trying to say.
It wasn’t until she reached her hand out towards him that it finally registered. “You’re related to Priscilla then?” He felt stupid the second the question left his lips, and he couldn’t help but smile nervously as he reached out and took her small hand in his, giving it a couple of shakes.
Thankfully she found humor in his reaction and laughed, and though the busy studio overshadowed the gorgeous sound, it reverberated in his ears nonetheless. “I’m one of her granddaughters. Lisa-Marie is my mother.” Austin’s eyes really honed in on each one of her dainty features. Her small pointed nose, her warm smile and bright blue eyes. He felt embarrassed that he didn’t instantly recognize her. It was almost as though he was shaking hands with Priscilla back when she was in her twenties. The resemblance was uncanny.
“That’s it for today people! You all did great!” Baz called out, the bright lights shutting off loudly as the cameras were moved out of position. Elliot stumbled out of the way, moving to Austin’s side so that extras could begin making their way off stage and to the dressing rooms. She lingered by his side, her arm gently brushing against his as cast and crew filed past. A few people looked in their direction, staring a little too long as they tried to decipher just who she was and what they were doing together. “I got here about thirty minutes ago, so I saw the last few takes.” She explained.
Austin pinched the bridge of his nose, his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. Of course she just so happened to show up today of all days. He had been off of his game all day long. “You were dazzling.” His eyes flickered open so that he could stare down at her, his mascara coated lashes brushing against his brow bone as he watched her expression carefully. He raised an eyebrow dubiously at her, completely unbelieving of the sweet sentiment. She threw her hands up in surrender, her smile widening.
“No, no. I’m serious, Austin. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. It was surreal.” He had been getting a lot of positive feedback as of late, but he still wasn’t used to it. He couldn’t keep the grin off of his face as he stared down at his feet, raising his hand so that he could nervously rub at the back of his neck.
“Well that means a lot comin’ from you.” He felt like an idiot talking to her in the accent, but he was already neck deep in it. He was positive that he couldn’t turn the voice off even if he tried.
“Baz is incredibly proud of you, by the way. He kept telling me about how dedicated you are to playing this part, and it really shows.” Elliot would never know how much her words meant to him. Today, of all days, he really needed to hear those things.
The fear of getting it all wrong kept him up most nights. Last night had been incredibly hard for him. The anxiety was eating him alive. He hadn’t even been able to keep down his breakfast this morning, his nerves getting the best of him. “One of my grandfather’s biggest fears was people dehumanizing him. Everyone has turned him into more of a character and less of a man. He wanted to do something important with his life- make an impact, you know? Your performance felt human.” The woman was quick to reach out, placing her warm palm against his sleeve. Her fingers wrapped around his arm, giving him a few quick squeezes. Austin wasn’t sure if she was trying to reassure him or comfort him. Either way, she was handling him with a sort of softness that he wasn’t used to.
The actor could listen to her talk all day, he was positive. There was something about her voice that made his muscles untense and his mind quiet. It was soft and melodic, and if it wasn’t the kindness in her eyes that made him melt, then it was certainly the gentle way that she spoke to him that did the trick. Austin was certain that his knees were quivering beneath him. “I want to pick your brain,” He spoke up before he had time to second guess himself. “Would you like to have dinner with me? If you have other plans, I completely understand. Just thought it would be nice, is all.”
The girl shook her head, her dark locks falling off of her shoulders with the movement. For a second he was scared that he was being rejected, but she motioned towards the door with a sweep of her hand. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.” He let out a sigh of relief, a nervous laugh bubbling up and out of his throat soon after.
“Just let me go get changed, okay? It will only take a minute.” He had to remind himself not to run through the studio, his heart pounding in his ears as he closed the door firmly behind him. He had been terrified out of his mind whenever he had met Priscilla and Lisa-Marie for the first time. He had called Baz the night before, hoping for some sort of guidance. The director had become more of a mentor over the last couple of months, and he was hoping for some kind of a pick-me-up. Despite his constant words of nonchalance and encouragement, the anxiety lingered. He carried it in the pit of his stomach the next afternoon, and it didn’t ease throughout the entire luncheon. Austin wasn’t quite sure how he had managed to eat, but he had scarfed down way more than he was used to consuming. He went home with sweaty palms, an overactive imagination, and a stomach that was packed to full capacity. This felt oddly similar, but different at the same time.
This wasn’t a date, but Austin couldn’t seem to get the point across to the rest of his body. “Fuck.” He whispered under his breath, reaching for the hanger so that he could neatly begin taking off the outfit. He took the time to make sure that everything was hung up to Catherine’s liking before grabbing his leather duffle bag, pulling on his clothes like a mad man. He had worn a pair of light washed jeans and his favorite pair of brown boots to the studio this morning. He had spilled coffee on his shirt early in the afternoon, so Catherine had given him a spare white tee to wear home. He made a mental note to thank her whenever he saw her in the morning. Clearing his throat he moved closer to the mirror, taking a look at his hair that had been slicked back hours ago. He ran his fingers through it, trying his hardest to disarrange the hairstyle, but it only made his hair look dirty. With an exasperated groan he used his fingers to put it back into place, taking a step back to look at the eyeliner that had been dragged over his top lash line. He had half the mind to try and rub it off as well, but he knew that he’d only make himself look like a raccoon, what with the mascara on his top and bottom lashes.
This entire situation was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Here he was, giddy over the potential of getting to know her better, all while dressed like her grandfather. The humor of the situation was lost on him. Instead he rubbed his large hands down his cheeks, letting out an aggravated groan. He felt like he was in high school all over again. He hadn’t been this nervous about a girl in. . . well. . . - now that he thought about it, had he ever been this nervous over a girl? He hadn’t been single since he was twenty-one. He had been fresh out of high school, and the only dates he had been on prior to his ex had been double dates that his guy friends had coerced him into. He was nearly thirty years old, acting as though he was still in his twenties. He felt ashamed.
Austin braced either of his hands on the dressing room counter, staring up at himself through his lashes. He had rather liked the dyed black hair, but he suddenly felt ridiculous standing there in the mirror. He had to go ahead and set himself up for disappointment. If he didn’t try, then there would be no chance of rejection. He needed to go ahead and dash whatever fantasies were floating around in his brain before they got the better of him, because how embarrassing would that make things for him? He wouldn’t just be friendzoned, he would be grandpa-zoned. Elliot saw him as one of the men tasked with telling her family’s tragic story. This was important to her, he could tell. This dinner was going to be nothing more than two potential friends talking with one another. It was going to be a great opportunity for him to hear rather intimate stories about the legend, passed down to her by the only woman that really knew the true Elvis. After a few deep breaths he stood up, brushing his hands over his shirt a few times before heading out the door. The overhead studio lights had been turned back on, a few of the crew members still lingering around as they taped wires to the floor, readjusted certain lights, and readied themselves for tomorrow's busy schedule.
Elliot’s back was to him, so he took the opportunity to get a better look at her. Her dress was a seventies style slip dress that brushed against her upper thighs. Her short dress and calf high boots made her look a lot taller than she really was from where he was standing. Of course he had seen her up close, and knew that she was well below his chin. Both her mother and grandmother were on the shorter side, so he wasn’t surprised. Her hair, which he hadn’t gotten a very good look at when the two had first been introduced, was incredibly long. It cascaded down her back in loose waves, ending right at her hips.
Austin didn’t allow himself to stare at her for too long, not wanting to get carried away. ‘Friends’, he reminded himself as he walked up to her. “Elliot,” He called her name to get her attention, his eyebrows furrowing when he noticed that there was something in her hand. She turned her head to face him, grinning ear to ear as she flashed him a pair of ivory white panties. She had her fingers looped into the waistband, and it didn’t take him long to figure out that she had stumbled across the prop by accident. She must have been laughing to herself for a little while. Her cheeks were slightly red from smiling. “Nice.” She said simply, tossing them into one of the crew member’s folding chairs before nodding her head towards the door. “Shall we? I’m starving.”
{ hello again! I hope you didn’t forget me! it’s Oran the roto-caster! Casi-Papa asked that I tag along to film things! }
[A video begins. Several segments of it are chopped together for length.]
Part 1/??
The rather odd group stands a little ways into an apparent cave system. Casimir and Ingo, looking excited to journey forward, and Grimsley tagging along for… Presumably his own reasons. Perhaps out of curiosity? Few have traveled far into this cave, its layout notably strange. Puddles of water form alien shapes across the uneven stone floors. Every sound, from footsteps to dripping water, seems to bounce off all the walls until it distorts.
Indigo, Casi’s young Charmander, is using his tail flame to light a short distance ahead of them. He’s rarely seen on camera, though his lighter colorations and purple flame make him stand out from the average Charmander. He also appears to be wearing a little white and light blue striped bandana. It takes an enormous amount of self control for the little pokemon to not dart off into the deeper parts of the cave, being told to stay close. His purple tinted light isn’t particularly bright, but it does the job well enough, with the consequence of making the portions of the cave he lights seem even more foreign.
The other two trainers brought pokemon better suited for the job, Grimsley with his Absol Snowball and Ingo with Fusee the Chandelure. Snowball's forehead gem glows with radiant light, the move Flash providing much more clarity. Trailing by Ingo’s side is the fare dodger, though the Sneasel is hardly one for self control, running off to explore the wide open chamber and splash in the shallow pools of water.
“It’s odd to think a cave like this connects to Sinnoh…” Casi remarks in a low voice, seemingly unwilling to completely shatter the barrier of silence. Or perhaps she realizes that speaking too loudly has a chance of disturbing any Woobat that may be sleeping nearby.
From this point onward the footage begins to skip around, fragments of the trio chattering about nothing in particular mixed with shots simply taking in the surrounding walls, the deposits of dripping limestone and concretions creating odd patterns that the Roto-Caster seems to marvel at. As they trek deeper into the Cave of Being the wide open chamber gives way to smaller winding corridors.
{ why are we even going this way? I thought we were celebrating Ōnyūria?! }
Part 1: Introductions-We’re doing this in parts because tumblr says I typed way too much
Welcome guys, gals, and enpals to Queer Angel’s Tea-sis. A series where I discuss the good, the bad, and the questionable depictions of queer characters in anime and apply a queer lens of analysis. As any anime watcher will tell you, there are anime that start so-so but end well or turn out awful. However, few anime has the distinction of starting near-universally applauded (albeit I saw red flags a mile away) and then slowly take a downturn before nose-diving into a flaming hunk of garbage and exiting through the gift shop. Of course, some queer fans saw the death flags of this show’s narrative in the first three episodes of the show with its positing of a post-apocalyptic world where humans achieve immortality at the cost of reproduction and where they rely on quite literally the naïveté and uneducated horniness of teenagers to defend themselves from a subterranean existential threat. By discussing issues in production, story, and representation/messaging I hereby present the case for the designation of the title of “dumpster fire” to the show: Darling in the Franxx (DITF). (franks? Fran-X-X? who cares?)
Production
Taking us back to July of 2017, Studio Trigger announced DITF at Anime Expo 2017 revealing that it would be a co-production with A-1 pictures. A-1 is most known for creating the Black Butler adaptation and Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day, but in recent years they’ve gained a reputation for making some … lackluster features like the Sword Art Online franchise and Eromanga Sensei (a production that is gross on many levels). However, during the show’s broadcast (January-July 2018), the team working on the project from A-1 changed labels to CloverWorks on April 1st of the same year. This change may or may not have led to issues toward the end of the series. Another issue with the production was a poor choice of director and head writer for the series. While Atsushi Nishigori has some serious animation chops such as being the Chief Animation Director for Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0 and key animation credits to multiple A-tier anime, he had almost no writing experience before DITF. Besides, his sole directing credit for a show was…an adaption of the Idolmaster franchise. Now while I will admit to enjoying some very cheap “cute people doing cute things” musical anime, they’re typically not the most intensive story-wise and Idolmaster is in my personal opinion, one of the most brainless and junk-foody of idol anime. This is coming from someone who watched an anime that was basically a recruitment tool made by the corporate monsters behind AKB48 and still enjoys it while trying to pretend it was made in a vacuum universe where creepy entitled male fans and producers don’t exist.
While I don’t want to place blame solely on Nishigori for the faults of DITF, there were other issues that I will discuss in the later sections, his inexperience in writing and directing beyond single anime episodes certainly didn’t do the show any favors. This is especially considering this was a show heavily publicized by both major studios A-1 and Trigger, was heavily promoted in both Japanese and western anime news media, and was guaranteed to have a lot of eyes on it.
Footnote: Japanese idol culture has the expectation that female idols remain single. The penalty for being caught dating can be getting kicked out of their groups and ostracized by their fans for the crime of dating.
Note: I’ll slowly start adding my sources to the review as I post the rest of this apparently too long for tumblr review.
Also, the rest of the review is added via reblogs~
So I dm for my party of 6, Dee the druid that calls everyone pisshead, Elantra the sorcerer that keeps killing PCs on accident, Gustav the muscle wizard, Dravak the gladiator that eats everyone, Biggi the tank who is literally barely intelligent enough to speak, and Norbjörn the monk who punches pretty much everything in half. They were taking a break from the main story I had written to gain a few levels. They were hired by goblins on a black market bounty board to kill a group of dwarves. They took the bounty and decided to talk to the dwarves first and see if they could help with a bad guy that had led to the death of Elliot (a ginger and a banisher)
Everything was going great with their plan, they passed all the checks, they were talking with the leader, there was only one hitch. The leader wouldn’t be convinced to face off against Cupcake Joe (the bad guy) and began to ramble about his evil reputation.
Norbjörn ooc: I hold action to punch his head off when he stops talking or changes topics.
DM (me): Are you sure? He hasn’t done anything wrong, and he might have valuable information.
Norbjörn ooc: Yeah I’m sure, he won’t help us kill Joe.
DM: Well, okay then.
Dwarf leader: Don’t be fooled by his name, Cupcake Joe is the most malicious and undefeatable assassin to ever walk these lands. He’s a phantom, and his connections make him one of the most dangerous-
Dravak, interrupting: Hey, what’s your name?
Dwarf: Excuse me?
Everyone loses their collective shit as Super-Monk(tm) uppercuts a dwarf’s head off. Suffice it to say he never got to tell them his name.
Context: Ranger’s PC is the daughter of the same player’s PC from the previous campaign. Ranger and Fighter had just had an emotional moment in the dead of night during the long rest.
Fighter: I’m hugging her- and- wait. Did you ever take off your armor?
Ranger: …I don’t think I did
Rogue ooc: LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER SHE SLEEPS IN THE ARMOR
