Engineering My Teatimes

27• Just varying thoughts from an autistic queer stem gal • (she/her)

[holloweiss]

I can’t believe they straight up had their own sakura tries to stop sasuke from leaving konoha moment, are you kidding me 💀

[rapeculturerealities]

On Being 'Game': What Happens When Sex Positivity Feels Like Pressure

'It is just as objectionable to insist that everyone should be non-monogamous or kinky, as to believe that everyone should be heterosexual, married, or vanilla.'

Even in sex-positive subcultures, where mainstream ideas of heterosexual, monogamous, vanilla sex are rejected, other kinds of sex often take their place and the pressure to participate can be just as strong.

“Often in queer, poly, and kink communities their approaches seem to be that their sex is good because it is a radical act,” said Ginger.

This is what Rubin referred to as the “hierarchical valuation of sex acts.” But, wrote Rubin, “it is just as objectionable to insist that everyone should be lesbian, non-monogamous, or kinky, as to believe that everyone should be heterosexual, married, or vanilla.”

While researching this piece I was stunned by the stories I heard from my own sex-positive communities. One friend told me about a club where by entering you consented to whatever happened inside. Another told me about declining to have sex with someone at a kinky party only to be told, “you can’t reject me, we don’t do that here.” Yet another talked of being shamed for having a gender preference and told to be “open to different experiences.”

In queer feminist zine FUCKED, one anonymous author explains:

“Party spaces are never sexually appealing to me. I resent not having the option to opt out of these things and still feel safe, feel like a part of the community.”

Barker says this is not uncommon. “These kinds of spaces can be particularly bad because sex positivity can give people implicit permission to be creepy and non-consensual, suggesting that everybody in those spaces should be ‘up for it.’”

read more

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Hot take of the day: a worrying number of leftists are actually just Evangelical Christians with the serial numbers filed off

The world is sinful a capitalist hellscape but we just have to wait until the Second Coming the Revolution happens when everything will be magically fixed. Any attempt to make actual progress makes you a lukewarm Christian liberal anything less than the Apocalypse the Revolution (which we are forever waiting for btw) is completely useless . Also consuming certain media or makin certain lifestyle choices is sinful and unchristian bad praxis.

[imperialinquisition]

Hey look, it’s a copypasta template

How about a version applicable to modern US liberalism:

The world is a capitalist hellscape actually getting better, trust the process! We just have to wait until the revolution happens we vote hard enough when everything will be magically fixed. Any attempt to make actual progress do things outside of narrow electoral channels makes you a liberal naive impatient uppity radical, anything less more than the revolution voting harder (which we are forever waiting for btw) is completely useless. Also consuming certain media or making certain lifestyle choices living in certain regions of the country is bad praxis makes you stupid Hillbilly redneck trash who deserves what’s coming.

courtesy of a friend on discord

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Hot take of the day: a worrying number of leftists are actually just Evangelical Christians with the serial numbers filed off

The world is sinful a capitalist hellscape but we just have to wait until the Second Coming the Revolution happens when everything will be magically fixed. Any attempt to make actual progress makes you a lukewarm Christian liberal anything less than the Apocalypse the Revolution (which we are forever waiting for btw) is completely useless . Also consuming certain media or makin certain lifestyle choices is sinful and unchristian bad praxis.

[brickett6]

this shit must go so hard if you're stupid

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Hot take of the day: a worrying number of leftists are actually just Evangelical Christians with the serial numbers filed off

The world is sinful a capitalist hellscape but we just have to wait until the Second Coming the Revolution happens when everything will be magically fixed. Any attempt to make actual progress makes you a lukewarm Christian liberal anything less than the Apocalypse the Revolution (which we are forever waiting for btw) is completely useless . Also consuming certain media or makin certain lifestyle choices is sinful and unchristian bad praxis.

[roaminromans]

All of this is dumb but the hysterical part is the "consuming certain media"

did somebody get yelled at for looking up Steven universe yaoi or what

[busket]

I remember when it was a big shared sentiment in the queer community that "sex =/= gender =/= pronouns =/= physical appearance or expression" and. I feel like everyone even other trans people have forgotten about all that except the first part. and in many cases people forget the whole thing entirely

[isuggestrespecttranspeople]

Important

[hellofmychoice]

The idea that Testosterone is a “more powerful” hormone than Estrogen is just blatant sexism btw.

[hellofmychoice]

Okay so this is why understanding the intersection of misogyny and transmasculinity is important, because this is how people talk about trans men on T:

[darkwingduck]

If Neil Gaiman shows his face on tumblr again we all have an obligation to bully him out of here with rocks

And I’m sorry if this is how you had to find out he’s on an “apology” tour (denying everything) and promoting a new book that we are all going to very loudly ignore

make amends to your victims and fix your heart

[trans-masked]

Every article about Ray Muscat breaks my heart. They only mention he’s transgender in headlines when it others him and makes readers less sympathetic but when trans friendly news sites talk about the case they talk about it how his trans girlfriend and literal murderer was suffering from mental health issues and they held a fucking zumbathon in her honor? His family’s go fund me barely raised half its goal where’s the grief for him why should we have to grieve them equally. You can’t even blame him being overshadowed by conservatives focusing on his murderer being trans because all the articles ive seen just call her “woman” or “girlfriend” and don’t mention she’s trans until the body of the article. Trans men can’t even be centered in death

[trans-masked]

Family of Ruby, Bishop Taverner raise funds for LGBTQ charity after murder-suicide

Just two months ago, Karen lost her son Bishop Taverner and daughter Ruby Taverner to a murder suicide. Her daughter identified as transgend

This article in particular makes me seethe. The family of Ray Muscats murderer held a fucking zumbathon to raise money in her honor and never once mentions him by name or that he was also transgender. There’s no mourning for him, no celebration of him, no anger at a trans man’s life being stolen.

[thegenderienvy]

There is a growing trend of transgender people being systemically misgendered in news coverage and I do not see people raising the alarm about it NEARLY enough. Same thing happened the the streamer Girlalala after she was murdered

[trans-masked]

The article above is actually about his murderer and doesn't mention him by name or that he's trans at all! It's about the dance parade they threw for her after she committed murder-suicide in order to raise awareness about trans mental health. Despite one of the victims being a trans man, no one bothered to even say his name. No one cared about his suffering. All the spotlight is on the murderer and how *she* felt.

[disco-pony]

She gets the same exonerative tense as cops do: "Lost in a murder-suicide" leaving the ambiguity that maybe a fourth person killed all three. In fact, the specific way that article frames it - Naming Bisop and Ruby as "Lost" and then not naming the third person - would be following guidelines for how to talk about the *VICTIMS* of a family annihilation - Naming the victims but not the perpetrator. So a casual reader could assume that Ray was the unnamed person who killed the Taverners.

Trans Day Of Remebrance memorialised her next to her victim, in direct defiance of all guidance on how to talk about family annihilators- which is what she is, she murdered both her brother (Bishop Taverner) and her boyfriend (Ray Muscat).

TDOR has NEVER tried to memorialise every trans person who had died by suicide in the year, but they chose to memorialise a family annihilator, and to tell anyone who complained about this that it wasn't a big deal, that it was a hard decision but that they thought they had made the right choice - And then their followers jumped down the throats of the people who were complaining because, obviously, only theyfab transandrocunts would feel awful at seeing a murderer getting the "🕯💔🙏🏻🕊" treatment, next to her victim.

We need to be allowed to grieve Ray Muscat, without being told to wring our hands for his killer too.

[trans-masked]

Hello self flagellating trans masc. In front of you is a computer with tumblr open. Your task is to make a post about your own experiences with transphobia without derailing it by putting in a million disclaimers about how it would be worse if you were transfem and that your experiences don’t matter because there’s a hypothetical trans woman out there who has it ten times worse. You may also not call other trans men or nonbinary people names or imply that they are whiny or hysterical. Wait shit dude have you been dead the entire time I’ve been talking?

[genderkoolaid]

This fundraiser for a murdered trans man - https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-to-help-the-muscat-family does not have enough support. The story of this loss is found here — https://www.them.us/story/trans-man-ray-muscat-killed-by-girlfriend-in-michigan I realize this is 1) from 2022 and 2) a complicated situation for the trans community given the nature of the murder but having read about it only recently while researching the murders trans men I feel like this one got swept under the rug and the family must still be suffering badly

Donate to help the Muscat family, organized by Amber Schnitker

Please help the Muscat family with their tragic loss of Amber/Ray, who was taken away… Amber Schnitker needs your support for Donate to help

Ray Muscat, a Trans Man, Was Shot and Killed in Michigan

His death marks at least the 13th trans or gender-nonconforming person killed in the U.S. so far this year.

[genderkoolaid]

#they're barely over half their goal so if you'd like to throw some money their way #please feel free to do so

^^^ Ray was murdered in 2022 and as of February 3, 2026, his family's GoFundMe is only at 65% of it's goal.

[tboy-cock]

ive got to know what this was a "vent" about. theres like 1 trans man in any political office in the country, as opposed to several more trans women. ive also never seen a "transandrobro" call to ban hrt for trans women exclusively, however,

[shane-hollanders-stretch-marks]

Literal pedo writes an email to another literal pedo who sex traffics children, objectifying and dehumanizing both trans women and trans men.

Trans inclusive radfems for some reason: Lol it's so funny that they basically just called trans men undesirable. Trans men have it laughably easy.

Trans men/mascs: This person was also objectifying and dehumanizing trans men just in a negative way?? This is not just a harmless insult because a pedo doesn't find us attractive.

Trans inclusive radfems again: Wow ok trans women can't even have rape trauma now. Men have to make it about themselves.

Trans men/mascs again: The email was literally also about us and we deal with a shit ton of rape and assault. We're allowed to talk about this it involves us.

Tirfs again: No literally, we need to kill all trans men right along with the cis ones and any transmascs who agree with the trans men.

[i-suggest-becoming-transmasc]

I think a lot of y'all need to realize that being a trans women/fem is not an act of transfeminism, just as how being a women isn't an act of feminism. Just as how being a trans man/masc isn't an act of transmisogyny, like how being a man isn't an act of misogyny. The same applies to works made by people. Stop judging people based off of their gender and start judging them based on their actions.

[a-polite-melody]

Just

Absolutely wild to me that people saw

“What was said about trans men in that piece of the Epstein files was dehumanizing.”

And have decided that means

“Trans men are jealous of the way trans women were talked about in the Epstein files.”

Like??????

Such an

“I’m ordering pancakes.”

“So you think the waffles I’m ordering are gross and disgusting and no one should ever want them?”

[a-polite-melody]

“Omg really transandrodorks are saying it’s tranandrophobia??? That they aren’t as rape-able and traffickable than us??? Do they even hear themselves???”

I think that’s what you took away from that email, not what was actually said about trans men in the email. And that’s not how trans men are speaking about this at all. This is all bullshit you’re making up because you’re angry not everything is about you.

[gettinontopic]

Anyone arguing that trans men are in less danger of assault due to being considered ugly is parroting "you're too ugly to get raped" talk from the mid 2000 flawlessly btw.

I have been told I wasn't pretty enough to be harassed before I transitioned, and it isn't less degrading or awful to hear that kind of talk after. Definitely isn't nice to hear while talking about a subject that affects many folks who need our support.

Assault is about power, control, and keeping someone below you and if you treat it as something that only happens to you if you are attractive then you are guaranteed to ignore many, many victims.

Also using the Epstein Files tO BASH ANOTHER GROUP IS DISGUSTING AND A GUARANTEED PROOF YOU DONT CARE FOR THE VICTIMS. THIS IS A SERIOUS FUCKING TOPIC AND THOSE VICTIMS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING ONLINE TALKING POINT TO OWN WHAT GROUP YOU THINK HAS IT LESS BAD.

Keep the victims stories out of your mouth if they're nothing but an argument for you to bludgeon others.

[i-suggest-becoming-transmasc]

Y’all will look at gender essentialism saying “men good women bad” and instead of going “both men and women are equally capable of being good and evil and neither are inherently one or the other based, we should do away with gender essentialism” you went “I see! We should fix gender essentialism by making it so women good men bad. I am a good person doing good things(TM) by saying this :)” and I need you to see that. I need you to see you are just as gender essentialist as the person saying that women are inherently bad when you say that men are inherently bad.

Stop trying to make gender essentialism “good” or “right” because it never will be and you are only causing harm to people.

NO ONE IS INHERENTLY ANYTHING AND YOU NEED TO REALIZE THIS OH MY FUCKING GOD