@flashfictionfridayofficial
Warning: Oldest sibling syndrome, depression in a sense, burnout also in a sese, parent leaving partner and children after partner gets sick, unspecified terminal illness
It hurts. Smiling all the time. Being so happy go lucky all the time. It is exhausting and it started to bring you to your limits.
But what choice do you really have. You can't let them see how you really feel. Not at work were scowling at a costumer could cost you your job and certainly not at home. Expectantly not at home.
At home your mother was waiting sick and bedridden, you couldn't make her worry more, she already felt bad that you had to go to work, that you had to leave your academic aspiration behind to take care of her and your siblings.
Your siblings who are still just children in your eyes. Your small children . They deserved to feel save. Saver than you do. They are already loosing their mother. You try your best to not make it worse. You try your best not to let the bad thoughts win. The anger and haplessness, Hadn't you been a child when she had gotten sick, when your father left because he couldn't love her while she was doing her best to keep herself and everything else form falling apart.
You can't make them feel your angry helplessness because doesn't that make you worse than him.
But it is so hard to keep going on, to bee kind, no matter how hard it is. They are just children, they too have to take care of your dying mother, they too have to watch her wither away. You have to be kind to the best of your abilities. Despite watching all your hopes and goals moving father and father away, becoming more and more impossible.
You are so tired. You want to rest just for a couple of minutey, just one day of. You would like to have a social live to have time for friends. But you have to feed a family and you can't watch your siblings too give up all their future prospects for this. You have to see at least them suckceed in school or in any other way or you have nothing left to live.
You are working yourself to the bone, just to keep your family alive. You smile and are kind, help with home work, make food, smile at costumers, just so you would survive.
You have to smile. Even if it hurts, even if it is eating you up. Draining you of everything. Maybe even killing you. Because what else can you do.
I haven't written in second person in a while. But I think this story works actually better this way than it would have in third and for reasons I didn't want to write it in first.
This is also the third text I started for this weeks prompt and the first was about Barny again but I got so stressed out and insecure abut the fact that I don't have the best grasp on a lot of folklore I am referencing in the works abut him and his world that didn't continue. Any way if anyone has good resources on dragons fay and honestly a lot of other mythical creatures kindly share.
hope you have a nice weekend and a good week!
