You know what kills me about the “maybe there is” scene?
Okay, you’re right, a lot of things.
Simmons approaches Fitz to talk about emotions, which is really really not comfortable for her, but they’ve had such a long history of understanding each other on a deeper level and he’s so important that she has to risk it.
And then he almost shuts her down. You want to talk about this now? It’s a mixture of are you insane and it hurts too much I want to put it behind me and so now that somebody’s dying you thought it was worth talking to me? Hurt and bitter and scathing and self pitying at once.
So she pulls back, like all the other times. No, of course we don’t have to talk about this now, I’m sorry I touched it, I’m sorry I opened a wound, it’s safer and happier for all of us if we just don’t go there. After all those years of understanding, of unquestioning, unwavering support, Fitz made her pull back with one question.
(When he was about to walk out, that’s when she took the energy of swimming ninety feet of ocean in one breath and went no. I am not letting this break as long as I live. That was a fight for her. It was a fight against everything that the universe had thrown at her and at them the last few months, it was even a fight against Fitz. Yet she stood against it and reached out against it and against every fibre of her instinct to hide her feelings and not rock the boat.)
(That took so much for her and I’m so proud of her.)
