#myheatedrivalry

[phruit-salad]

Speaking of shallergies, I just knowwww some fuck on the metros would always tease Shane on the team plane with a packet of peanuts. Like waving the unopened pack at him and going "wow Holly's scared of some nuts ooOOoo". And Shane is white knuckling his bag with the epipen in it every flight.

And then he takes the first flight with the cens and is like "hey guys I'm really sorry can you just not eat peanuts when we're in this tin can of death airplane. But they're all like "hey Roz already filled us in dude, don't worry none of us even bought peanuts with us. Do you want a nut-free sugar-free gummy sweet for take off? My wife makes them as healthy snacks for the kids."

And Shane falls asleep on Ilya's shoulder with his mouth tasting of organic strawberry and his heart full.

[skintnminted]

[phruit-salad]

So what if Ilya tells Marleau "look I am dating a man, Shane Hollander, and I'm bisexual" and Marleau is like "Oh, ok cool. What's that mean?" And Ilya has to do the "Ah bisexual! Some people like apples, some people like oranges, I like both!" but Marleau is still confused because he's never seen Ilya eat fruit (he only eats McGriddles).

So Ilya has to be really clear like "I fuck men and women and like doing both." And Marleau is like "wait, does it count if it was a threesome and also doesn't everyone feel like that?" And Ilya has to say "Mm I think if you also get off on having sex with a man (at the same time as a woman) that's not very straight."

And then Marleau is like "well Idk cos there was a chick there but also you have a good ass. What if I fuck you and Shane to find out?"

And that's how the first threesome happens.

[phruit-salad]

Cliff definitely joins Ilya at the Kingfisher one night. He's kinda stoked that so many gay men find him attractive. And then there's this one hot guy checking him out and making eye contact. Ilya looks between Cliff and the Guy with an eyebrow raised. Cliff just shrugs and says "when in Rome, brother" and goes over to make out with this Guy.

[phruit-salad]

#myilya and #mycliff sometimes have sex when on a roadie and they share a room. They don't even call it hooking up. They're just really good bros

[phruit-salad]

I'm gonna speak my truth, I don't think Shane is a big spreadsheets/planning guy. The only plan he makes is the charity with ilya and lbr that one is a bit harebrained.

He's outsourcing everything he can to other people, his mum, his interior designer, his stylist, even sex decisions with Ilya. If there's something that needs doing, Shane Hollander is paying someone to do it.

Imo this is because if someone else is making decision then he has plausible deniablity. He's autistic and deeply closeted, bro doesn't want anyone reading into his choices bc he is worried they might not be the "correct" "straight" choice, but he also doesn'treally know what the social norm is. If he has too many throw cushions for a straight dude, that's ok bc it wasnt him, he hired a decorator. Oh he wore a gay looking shirt, that's ok his stylist did that. He lay down and got romantically fucked out of his mind, that's chill Ilya told him to. Not to say he isn't an extremely willing participant, but I think in the Saw trap of his mind, it gives him a way to not have to second guess every single one of his actions.

Anyway, give that man a hug.

[phruit-salad]

Ok hc that Harris makes shane and ilya do dumb PR videos when shane joins the centaurs to get the fans on board with the rivals to friends thing

He makes them do a '24h in our get-along-sweater' video, featuring clips of:

- practicing in the sweater. They argue about which direction to go for two hours and nearly rip the sweater, but ultimately work out how to score a goal.

- Shane complaining that Ilya is threatening to smoke right next to him

- Ilya taking Shane to a bar in the sweater and trying to dance with him

- it ends with Ilya filming a clip of Shane asleep on his shoulder, on the sofa, both still wearing sweater.

Shane is too warm. It's the second best day if Ilya's life.

[phruit-salad]

I can't find that post about importance of WAGs and the soft power they weald but I think Jackie Pike revels in it. She gets off on the politics of a messy groupchat, she hosts the watch parties so everyone can she that she has the best house, she's influencing school boards when she is Haydens plus one to fancy events.

Hayden is playing hockey, Jackie Pike is playing 4d chess with local government