i’ve got serious brain fatigue overwhelming me today alongside sinus issues (both covid tests for me were negative, but leander’s symptoms are worse today and mine are persistent, so it’s still likely we have a mild case of it). i have a lot of things i want to work on: email, asks to answer and send, movie reviews.
instead, i can’t bear anything at all--i’m going to nap and see if that helps. but i sent off my very first pitch for a paid writing gig! something i never would’ve imagined possible years ago. i’m really proud of it whether i get chosen or not, and it’s strange to just feel pleased with a big leap i’m taking rather than anxious. i’m really grateful to @actuallylukedanes for giving me advice and feedback.
and i also need to shoutout @mythologicalmango, who first recommended the buzzfeed writer anne helen peterson to me here. i read all of her long articles once i’d looked her up, then followed her newsletter when she moved, and joined the discord connected to it. that discord group helped us save kinnie recently, and that newsletter needs a guest host for a week, which led me to put myself in the running.
now that i’ve done that, i’m also eyeing the emerging writers series offered by roxane gay. i know adderall is playing a role, because no longer feeling incapable of following through on goals opens me up to dreaming bigger...but it’s also just funny to me how these things can meander their way from one point to the next. i followed an article link on tumblr, discovered an author, and now i’m waiting to see if she wants to promote me on her own platform.
i’m no longer reading essays and seeing them as created by superior talent. now i’m thinking of everything i want to say, and how every piece that’s gotten published started out as ideas and flawed drafts and needed hard work and polishing. and i know how to do all those things! i just have to be willing to try.
i used to find it depressing that so many modern writers gain fame by publishing short works and building a following, because consistency and patience have never been my forte. i rejected that version of writing outright because clearly it was for other people. so i have no idea how many others pitched along with me, no idea what my chances are. but i feel really good about trying.
















