Genre/Tags: College AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers, fwb, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut (18+), Mutual Pining, Emotional Rollercoaster, Secret Relationship, kinda star crossed lovers not really omg, reader might be a pretty little bird ,sensitive reader, dom! Jk × Sub! Reader, fuck boy jk , classic little no waist short and cute yn
Summary:
Eimi Park has always been in Jungkook's life—quiet, loyal, easy to overlook.
Until she wasn't.
What started as childhood familiarity turns into something messy, addictive, and impossible to ignore when Jungkook realizes too late that the girl he never chose... might be the only one who ever truly chose him.
But by the time he wants her, Eimi is already learning how to let him go.
Now caught between desire, guilt, and something dangerously close to love, Jungkook has to face the one thing he's always avoided—
Being the kind of man she deserves.
Series Warnings: Foul language, heavy emotional angst, alcohol use, explicit sexual content (including semi-public sex, unprotected sex, virginity loss, lil bit of a size kink, light bondage attempt gone awkward, creampie, oral(both giving and receiving), toxic dynamics that slowly improve, secret relationship, family tension. JUNGKOOK IS MEAN AF!, tiniest age gap, lowkey child abuse idk, horny ahh teenagers. , toxic relationship, cheating , reader is a plan b warrior
Status: Ongoing / Completed (40k+ words)
CHAPTER 1: 7k words
——————————————————————————
Your eyes watered with every passing second. Jungkook sat across from you, jaw locked, shoulders heaving as he stared you down. You couldn’t believe what he had just said. You knew the two of you weren’t as close anymore, and these days he wasn’t particularly fond of you, but this was a new low.
He seemed to realize what he’d said the moment it left his mouth. You were already rushing out of the café toward your pastel pink bike. He watched you pedal away from the window and let out a heavy sigh.
He remembered the day you got that bike for your birthday. You had been so excited to show him, but he had met your enthusiasm with disinterest.
Jungkook looked down at his feet, caught somewhere between shame and uncertainty. He just wanted to rewind time and take everything back. He didn’t even know why he had gotten so angry.
Fifteen minutes earlier, you had happily sat down across from him, knowing he was studying for an upcoming exam. He had been surprised when you placed his favorite pastry in front of him. You let out a cute little giggle at his startled reaction before commenting on how hard he must have been studying.
You were always like that—nice, thoughtful, always taking care of him.
He had been ignoring your attempts at small talk until you mentioned a certain girl.
“Joy asked about you today,” you said casually, sipping the tea you had gotten for yourself.
Jungkook sat up straighter. “Really? What did she say?”
Joy was an eighth grader, a whole year older than him, but he felt he had a chance with her. They talked often and had even hung out a few times. You were in sixth grade, and Joy was also your tutor. Jungkook had had a crush on her since the moment he first saw her. She was pretty, smart, soft-spoken—the girl of his dreams.
He watched as you gulped and shifted your eyes away from his. “She was talking about dating you…”
Jungkook almost jumped across the table in excitement. “And what did you say?”
His grin was wide as he watched your mouth open and close, clearly hesitant. “I- uh… I told her to look for someone else. You’re out of her league,” you mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes.
Jungkook’s grin instantly fell into a scowl. He leaned back in his chair. “You said what?!” His volume shocked you. You mumbled an apology, but it wasn’t enough. “Eimi, I don’t need you deciding for me! I don’t need you to do anything for me. I don’t need you!” he ranted.
You felt your heart growing heavier with every word, a lump forming in your throat as your eyes began to water.
“You ruin everything, you know that? Honestly, I wish we had never met.”
You knew Jungkook liked Joy. You just wanted him to be happy. But what really happened was very different.
“You know, I think Jungkook likes me,” Joy had mumbled to you one afternoon, carefully applying lip gloss in front of her vanity mirror.
You stiffened, noticing her staring at you through the reflection. “I don’t know… he doesn’t really tell me anything,” you dismissed, sliding your notebook into your bag.
“Oh well,” she sighed, plopping down next to you. “I’d never date him anyway. I’m far from into younger boys. He’s so cute though—he’s like a little puppy. Don’t you think?” Joy giggled at her own words. It annoyed you. She had this way of speaking—light, bubbly, overly sweet—yet she could say the meanest things and still sound like a princess. You forced a smile and nodded. “Plus, I think Taehyung is going to ask me to be his date!” she gushed, flopping onto the bed with a dreamy sigh.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Jungkook was arriving home when he was met with an irate Jimin.
Jimin’s hair had been bleached blonde, and he somewhat towered over Jungkook. It was obvious Jungkook would outgrow the older boy in a few years. Jungkook looked up at him with indifference. He noticed your bike thrown carelessly on the lawn before blinking back up at Jimin, who was stomping toward him.
Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the collar, lifting him a few inches off the ground. “What the fuck did you do to my sister?” he demanded, jaw tight and eyebrows furrowed.
Jungkook sighed, placing his hands on Jimin’s wrists. “I’ll apologize later—”
The slap was so loud it echoed three houses down. In the quiet, wealthy neighborhood, the sound carried far.
Jungkook’s eyes went wide. His mouth stayed glued shut as he looked Jimin in the eyes and finally registered the anger behind them.
“Why do you always have to treat her this way? She’s done nothing for you to treat her like this,” Jimin fumed.
Jungkook stumbled back, cradling his stinging cheek. He hadn’t even realized Jimin had put him down.
He didn’t notice Jimin scoffing and walking away. He was frozen in place.
After what felt like an hour of staring at the ground, Jungkook flinched at the feeling of nimble fingers on his back. He looked up to see you. You were wearing an oversized hoodie—one of Jimin’s—and holding a small white-and-pink box in your hand. You noticed how anxious he looked as you sat down beside him. Your heart broke seeing him in so much distress, and it hurt even more because you felt it was your fault.
You gently placed your fingers under his chin to tilt his face toward you. He tried to shy away. “I’m so sorry,” you muttered, softly stroking his cherry-red cheek. You noticed a small cut and wiped the tiny bead of blood away with the tip of your finger. He winced before sighing.
“For what?” Jungkook’s voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.
“This is my fault. I shouldn’t have—”
“Shut up,” Jungkook interrupted. You weren’t even sure he had heard you. “Don’t blame yourself. I was out of line. I overreacted.” He spoke while staring at the asphalt. You gave him a sad smile and reached for the box of Hello Kitty Band-Aids you had grabbed after Jimin admitted to hitting him.
Jungkook sat in silence and let you take care of him. He only winced slightly when you applied the Band-Aid to his face. A perfect Hello Kitty Band-Aid now sat on his left cheek.
“Jimin feels horrible, by the way,” you said softly. “He should’ve never hit you. It’ll never happen again. He’s sincerely sorry.”
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Things changed substantially when Jungkook entered ninth grade. You and Jungkook rarely interacted anymore. He went to a different school and became consumed with sports, friends, and girls.
Jungkook became obsessed with girls. After losing his virginity during the summer before freshman year, he couldn’t stop thinking about sex. Basketball and girls were the only two things on his mind.
And oh, how annoying it was. It wasn’t that you cared, but could he at least have some decency? You would open your window only to be met with traumatizing scenes—his window directly across from yours. Girls undressing. Him undressing. It made you sick to your stomach.
Eighth grade brought big changes for you too. You became obsessed with your image and how you were perceived. You never left the house without makeup or double-checking your hair. Painted nails were non-negotiable. Bare hands were never an option. You always bought bras at least two sizes up. Unfortunately, today your mother had done the opposite and bought you one two sizes too small. Wanting to show her you were grateful, you wore it because she looked so proud.
“Look, Eimi~ I saw this color and thought of you!” she had said, handing you a pastel pink bra with the most loving grin you had ever seen.
You weren’t planning on attending a dinner with your father and his work colleagues, but judging by your mother’s hopeful eyes, she wanted you to wear both the bra and the jade mini dress she had picked out.
When you arrived at the restaurant, you greeted all your father’s colleagues and their children with warm hugs and forced smiles. Except for one. Jungkook. The two of you hugged, and you couldn’t help holding him a little tighter than everyone else. Truth be told, you missed him. You noticed Jungkook tightening his hold on you too, and it made you smile. He was your longest… relationship. You couldn’t really call him a friend, but the two of you had some kind of relationship. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad—it was just there.
Jungkook, on the other hand, was losing his mind at the contact. He knew he shouldn’t think this way, but he was fourteen and horny sixty percent of the time. He hated his hormones and how they made him act. But right now? He hated them the most. The way you felt against him was enough to make him salivate, and he had glimpsed your cleavage. That bra was working very hard. Had you always had those?
Before he knew it, Jungkook was being pulled away by Jimin, who immediately brought him into a hug. “Don’t get any ideas, you little chihuahua,” Jimin teased, covering his warning with a chuckle before turning to say something to Taehyung.
The dinner went smoothly, but when your parents decided they were having such a good time, everyone headed to the Kims’ house to catch up.
You and the other kids sat in the backyard while the adults stayed inside, probably talking about stocks or business. Jungkook ended up sitting next to you, his knee barely brushing yours every time someone shifted on the patio furniture. It was subtle—probably unnoticeable to anyone else. But you noticed. Of course you did. You always noticed when it came to him.
The backyard was dimly lit, soft yellow lights strung across the fence, the low hum of crickets filling the quiet gaps between conversations. Taehyung was talking about something loud and animated, probably funny, but you weren’t really listening. You were far too aware of Jungkook beside you in a way that felt… new. Different. Unsettling.
You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, trying to act normal, trying to pretend your heart wasn’t beating just a little faster than it should.
Jungkook leaned back in his chair, stretching his arm across the back of it. Not around you. Not touching you. But close enough that you felt his presence. The heat of him. It made your stomach twist in a way you didn’t understand.
He glanced at you. Then looked away. Then looked back again. This time, he didn’t look at your face immediately. His eyes dropped. Just for a second. But you felt it.
Suddenly, you became hyper-aware of your dress. Of the way it fit. Of the bra your mom had bought you—too tight, pushing everything up in a way that had made you uncomfortable earlier, but now?
Now it made your skin feel hot.
You shifted slightly in your seat, crossing your arms instinctively over your chest. His gaze flicked back up, catching the movement, and for a second—just a second—he looked almost caught.
Like he wasn’t supposed to do that. Like he didn’t mean to. Or maybe… like he didn’t expect you to notice.
“Why are you sitting so stiff?” he muttered under his breath, low enough that only you could hear.
You blinked, turning your head toward him. “I’m not.”
He hummed, not really believing you. His lips twitched like he was holding back a smile, but his eyes… his eyes lingered again. Not as obvious this time. But not innocent either.
It made your chest tighten. This was weird. He was being weird. You didn’t know what to do with it.
“So,” Taehyung cut in, looking between the two of you with a grin that felt a little too knowing. “You guys finally talking again or what?”
You opened your mouth to answer, but Jungkook beat you to it.
“We’ve always talked,” he said casually. That was a lie. You both knew it.
But the way he said it—so easy, so normal—made it sound like truth.
Taehyung raised a brow but didn’t push. Jimin, however, glanced over from where he was standing, drink in hand, eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of you two sitting so close.
You noticed. Jungkook noticed too. And suddenly, he shifted. Not away. Closer.
His knee pressed more firmly against yours now, like he was doing it on purpose. Like he didn’t care if Jimin saw. Like he was testing something.
Your breath caught.
You didn’t move.
You didn’t know if you should.
“Eimi,” he said suddenly, turning toward you fully. His voice was softer than before. Quieter. More… focused.
“Yeah?” you replied, your voice coming out smaller than you intended.
He studied your face for a second. Then your lips. Then back to your eyes.
It was too much.
It felt like too much.
“You still carry those stupid band-aids around?” he asked, nodding toward your small purse.
Your heart stuttered.
You let out a small laugh, more nervous than anything. “They’re not stupid.”
“They’re Hello Kitty,” he deadpanned.
“And?” you shot back, a hint of your usual self peeking through. “You liked them when I put one on your face.”
He huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. But there was something in his expression now. Something softer. Something… familiar.
It felt like before. Like when things weren’t complicated. Like when he didn’t look at you like that. Like when you didn’t feel like this.
“You always do that,” he muttered.
“Do what?”
“Take care of me,” he said simply.
Your stomach flipped.
You didn’t know why that affected you so much. It shouldn’t. It was true. You always had. But the way he said it now—it sounded different. Like he was realizing it. Like he was actually seeing you for the first time in a while.
You looked down at your hands, suddenly shy under his gaze. “Someone has to,” you mumbled.
He watched you. Longer than he should have. Longer than he ever had before. And something shifted. Not loud. Not obvious. But real.
He leaned back again, running a hand through his hair, trying to shake whatever that feeling was. Because it was weird. This was weird. You were—
You were Eimi. You had always been Eimi. But right now… you didn’t feel like just Eimi.
And he didn’t know what to do with that. So instead—he laughed it off. Looked away. Started talking to Taehyung again like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t just noticed you. Like something hadn’t just changed.
But you felt it. Sitting there beside him, heart beating just a little too fast—you felt it. And you didn’t have the words for it yet.
But years later… you would.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Jungkook never really spoke to you again after that. Not in the way he used to. Not in the way that mattered.
Sure, there were moments—brief glances across rooms, small smiles exchanged over dinner tables, the occasional “hey” or “how’ve you been?” when your families overlapped—but nothing ever stuck. Nothing ever lingered long enough to mean something.
It was like whatever you had before had been quietly packed away. Not destroyed. Not forgotten. Just… shelved.
And for a while, it hurt. More than you cared to admit.
You’d catch yourself looking for him in rooms you knew he’d be in. Waiting for him to say something more. Do something more. Be something more.
But he never did. And eventually—you stopped expecting him to.
Distance has a funny way of doing that. Of softening things. Of turning sharp feelings into dull ones. Not gone, just… manageable. You told yourself you had moved on. And maybe you had. Mostly.
But there were still moments. Small ones. Embarrassing ones.
Like the way your ears perked up anytime your parents casually mentioned his name. Or how you’d pretend not to care while listening just a little too closely when your brother talked about him.
“Jungkook’s doing really well.”
“Jungkook’s at university now.”
“Jungkook hasn’t been home much.”
He’d been gone for two years. Two whole years. No random run-ins. No accidental sightings. No glimpses through bedroom windows or across backyards.
Just—gone.
And in those two years, everything changed. You changed. Eighteen didn’t feel how you thought it would. It wasn’t some dramatic shift. No sudden clarity. No instant confidence. It was quieter than that. More internal. More… intentional.
You learned how to present yourself.
Not just physically—though that came too. You figured out what looked good on you and what didn’t. What made people look twice. What made them keep looking.
But more than that—you learned how to exist without shrinking. Or at least… how to pretend you didn’t.
You weren’t that same girl anymore.
The one who sat across from him in a café, nervously fidgeting with her tea while trying to make conversation. The one who always gave more than she got. The one who thought being kind was enough to be chosen.
You still cared. That didn’t change. But now—you were more careful with it.
“Eimi! Don’t forget your charger!” your mom called from downstairs.
“I have it!” you called back, even though you didn’t, quickly shoving it into your bag at the last second.
Your room looked… empty. Not messy. Not chaotic. Just—cleared out. Like a version of you had been packed away into boxes and labeled for storage.
“Are you excited?” your mom asked, leaning against your doorframe, arms crossed loosely. You paused. Looked at her. Then smiled. “I think so.” And you meant it. You were excited. Nervous too. But mostly—ready.
University meant new people. New space. A new version of you. No history. No expectations. No one who knew the girl you used to be.
That thought should have felt freeing. And it did. A little.
But there was something else too. Something quieter. Something you didn’t really want to name.
Because even after everything—after the distance, the silence, the years—a small part of you still wondered. If he would notice you now.
And you hated that. Just a little.
Your dad pulled your suitcase to the car while your mom fussed over last-minute things you definitely didn’t need but accepted anyway. The drive felt shorter than it should have. Or maybe your mind was just elsewhere.
You watched the city pass by through the window, your reflection faintly staring back at you.
Different. You looked different. You felt different.
“Jimin would’ve loved to see this,” your mom said suddenly, smiling softly. “He kept saying he’d help you move in.”
You smiled back.
“He’s busy being international,” you teased lightly.
“He did say something though,” your dad added, glancing at you through the rearview mirror. “He said not to worry. That Jungkook is still around campus. That he’d look out for you.”
Your heart skipped. Just once. Quick. Sharp.
“Oh,” you said. Trying to sound normal. Trying not to think too much about it.
But your mind—already was.
Jungkook. Here. After two years.
And suddenly—university didn’t feel like a completely fresh start anymore. Because now—there was history waiting for you. Again.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Moving away from your family was both scary and exciting. You didn’t know whether to lean into the excitement or let yourself feel the sadness of it all. Everything felt in-between. Not quite one thing, not quite the other.
So instead—
“You’re still like two feet tall.” You blinked. Then frowned. Then turned your head slowly toward him.
Jungkook stood there like nothing had changed. Hands in his pockets, shoulders relaxed, that same stupid half-smile tugging at his lips like he hadn’t just been gone for two years.
Like you hadn’t spent those two years growing into someone else.
“Shut up,” you muttered, but there was no real bite behind it. And he noticed. Of course he did. He always noticed things like that.
He had shown up so casually.
Your parents lit up when they saw him, greeting him like he’d never left, like he was still that boy next door who came over unannounced and stayed too long. He hugged your mom, shook your dad’s hand, laughed at something Jimin texted in the group chat like everything was normal.
Like nothing had shifted. But you—you felt it immediately. That weird tension. That unfamiliar familiarity.
“C’mon,” he said, nodding toward the pathway. “I’ll show you around before it gets dark.”
You followed him. Of course you did.
Campus was bigger than you expected. Buildings stretched taller than they looked online, students scattered everywhere, groups forming, laughing, already belonging somewhere.
It made you feel small.
Again.
“You’re gonna get lost,” Jungkook said, glancing back at you as you trailed just a step behind him.
“I won’t,” you replied quickly.
“You will,” he shrugged. “Everyone does.”
You rolled your eyes slightly, but you moved a little closer anyway. Not on purpose. Just instinct.
He slowed his pace to match yours. You noticed that. And you hated that you noticed that.
“This is the main quad,” he gestured lazily, pointing ahead. “Most of your classes will probably be around here.” You nodded, trying to focus on what he was saying. Trying not to focus on him.
But it was hard. Because he looked—different. Older.
Broader shoulders. Sharper features. His voice deeper than you remembered, steadier. There was something about him now that felt… settled. Like he had grown into himself in a way you were still figuring out.
“You listening?” he asked suddenly. You snapped out of it. “Yeah,” you said quickly. He raised a brow. “You sure?”
You frowned. “Yes, Jungkook.”
He hummed, unconvinced, but didn’t push. There was a pause. A weird one. The kind that felt like it should be filled, but neither of you knew how.
“So,” he started, glancing at you again. “You nervous?”
You hesitated. Then shrugged. “A little.”
He nodded. “That’s normal.”
You were studying Animal Science on a pre-vet track because you believed everything deserved care—even the things that didn’t know how to ask for it.
“You’ll be fine though,” he added. “You always are.” Your chest tightened slightly at that. Because it sounded like a compliment.
But in a way, like distance. Like he knew you. But not really anymore. “Here,” he said, stopping in front of a building. “Your dorm.”
You looked up at it.
This was it.
“This is where you live now,” he added, like you needed the reminder. You let out a small breath. “Yeah.”
He grabbed one of your bags before you could protest. “You still weak?” he teased.
“I am not weak,” you shot back, grabbing the other one.
He smirked. “Right.”
The elevator ride was quiet. Too quiet.
You stood side by side, shoulders almost touching, both staring straight ahead like strangers. It was weird. Being this close to him again. After everything. After nothing.
Your dorm door clicked open.
Empty. Your roommate hadn’t arrived yet. “Damn,” Jungkook muttered, stepping inside and setting your bag down. “You got lucky.”
You followed him in, looking around. This was yours now. Your space. Your life.
“Thanks for helping,” you said, turning toward him. He nodded.
“Yeah.”
Another pause.
He leaned against the desk, arms crossed loosely. Looking at you. Not quickly. Not in passing. Actually looking.
And suddenly—you felt it again. That shift. That same feeling from years ago. But stronger now. Clearer.
“You changed,” he said. Your breath caught slightly.
“You too,” you replied. He shook his head a little.
“No, I mean—” he paused, eyes flicking over you again, more obvious this time. “You really changed.”
Your stomach flipped. You didn’t know what to say to that. So you didn’t. Silence stretched. But it wasn’t empty. It was—heavy.
And for the first time since he got there, he didn’t look like he knew exactly what to do. It was awkward, after all. He hadn’t seen you in a while. A long while. After Jimin pretty much pulled him aside and told him to stay away from you—that’s when everything changed.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
It was cold that night. The kind of cold that made your breath visible, that made everyone huddle a little closer into themselves in the bleachers. But the gym was loud, packed, alive with energy. It was one of Jungkook’s biggest games of the season. The rival high school. The one he’d been talking about all week.
And you were there. Of course you were. Jungkook noticed you before the game even started. It was hard not to. You were in the front row, bouncing slightly on your toes, bundled up in a hoodie way too big for you. Your hair was tied into two pigtails, and on your cheeks—his number. Drawn carefully with colorful glitter pens.
It made something in his chest feel weird. Not big. Not overwhelming. Just—there.
“Yo, Jungkook.” Jimin’s voice cut through it.
Jungkook turned, already a little distracted, already half-focused on the court, the game, the noise. But Jimin’s expression stopped him.
Serious. Too serious.
“Come here for a second.”
Jungkook followed him without questioning it, the two of them stepping away from the crowd, away from the noise, into a quieter hallway near the lockers.
“What’s up?” Jungkook asked, rolling his shoulders back, trying to stay in that pre-game mindset.
Jimin didn’t answer right away. He just looked at him. Like he was thinking. Like he was deciding how to say something. “I know you know Eimi has a little crush on you.”
Jungkook stilled. Not dramatically. Not obviously. But enough.
Because—he hadn’t really thought about it like that. Not seriously. Not in a way that mattered.
He knew you liked him. In the same way you knew the sky was blue. In the same way you knew you’d see him around. It was just… there.
But hearing it said out loud—made it real.
Jungkook scratched the back of his neck slightly, looking away for a second. “Okay…?” he said, like it wasn’t a big deal. Jimin’s jaw tightened. “Don’t take advantage of her.”
That made Jungkook look back at him. “Don’t even think about breaking her heart,” Jimin continued, his voice firmer now. “She doesn’t deserve that.”
Jungkook frowned slightly. Because where was this coming from?
“She’s like your sister—right?”
That question—that was the one that stuck. Jungkook hesitated. Just for a second. Because—were you? You’d always been around. Always there. Always—Eimi.
But sister?
He didn’t think of you like that. Not really. Not exactly. But he also didn’t think of you—like that either.
So instead of thinking too hard about it—he nodded. “Sure. Whatever… I don’t want Eimi like that.”
And the words came out easy. Too easy.
Jimin watched him for a second longer. Then nodded. “Good.”
A pause. “Just don’t do anything to her. Okay?”
Jungkook nodded again. And that was that. That’s what it should’ve been.
But as Jungkook walked back toward the court, toward the noise, toward the game—his eyes flicked back to the stands.
To you. Still smiling. Still excited. Still looking at him like—like he was something. And for the first time—Jungkook thought about it. Really thought about it. What it would mean—to hurt you. And suddenly, that weird feeling in his chest came back. Stronger. Uncomfortable. So he made a decision. A simple one. An easy one.
He’d just… stay away.
No leading you on. No confusion. No chance to mess anything up. If he didn’t get close, he couldn’t hurt you. And if you didn’t have him, you’d get over him. It made sense. At the time.
What he didn’t realize was: distance doesn’t always protect people. Sometimes it just hurts them slower.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Jungkook almost asked what you’d been up to when his phone chimed—loudly, cutting through whatever that moment between you was about to become. It made both of you flinch a little. Like you’d been caught in something.
“Who’s that?” you asked, before you could stop yourself. Curiosity had always been your thing. You hated that it still was—especially with him.
He didn’t hesitate.
“My girlfriend—” The words came out automatically. Like muscle memory. Like something he’d said too many times before to think about it now.
And you felt it. That small, sharp drop in your chest. Quick. Embarrassing. Unwanted.
Of course he had a girlfriend. What did you expect? That he’d just been… waiting? For you?
You nodded slowly, looking away for a second, pretending it didn’t affect you. “Right,” you muttered.
But Jungkook noticed. Of course he did.
And suddenly the word felt wrong in his mouth. Too heavy. Too… final.
“Or—” he added quickly, scratching the back of his neck, “I mean—” He paused. Because what was she?
His girlfriend? Technically. But also not really.
“Or like… a friend,” he finished, quieter this time.
That didn’t make it better. If anything, it made it worse.
You looked back at him, brows slightly furrowed. “A friend?” you repeated.
He exhaled through his nose, glancing down at his phone again before locking it and tossing it onto the desk like it annoyed him.
“It’s complicated,” he muttered.
And there it was. That tone. That slight edge. Like he didn’t even want to explain it.
You nodded again. Slower this time. “Okay…”
But your mind was already filling in the blanks.
Complicated meant: they were still talking, still seeing each other, still something.
And for some reason—
That bothered you more than it should have.
Jungkook leaned back slightly, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just—” he started, then stopped.
Because he didn’t know how to explain it.
Didn’t know how to explain that they fought more than they talked, that he was already halfway checked out, that he didn’t even like how he felt around her anymore.
“It’s whatever,” he finished instead. You watched him. You really watched him. You tried to understand the boy who was once like your best friend again.
While he was trying to decide whether or not he should confide in you like he did when you two were kids again.
He looked irritated. Distracted. Like his mind was somewhere else. Not fully here. Not fully with you. Jungkook had a way of doing that. That old feeling crept back in. The one where you felt like you were just… nearby. Never the focus.
“So you have a girlfriend,” you said, more to yourself than him.
He sighed.
“I guess.”
You just laughed. To let him know it wasn’t that serious. You weren’t a cop…
But nonetheless that answer was weird.
And now you didn’t know what to think. Because if she was just a girlfriend, that was simple. You could’ve accepted that. Moved accordingly.
But this? This felt like something unfinished. Something important. Something he possibly could be fighting to keep in his life? You’d never seen Jungkook care like that before.
“I should, uh—get going before your RA has an aneurysm about me being here.”
You blinked.
Oh.
The RA.
A girl with long, flowy blonde hair, tied back neatly with some ribbon like she was about to attend a tea party instead of patrol a freshman dorm. Vanessa. You were pretty sure that was her name. She had this way of walking down the halls like she owned them, clipboard in hand, eyes scanning everything like she was just waiting for someone to mess up.
And for some reason—she hated Jungkook.
You noticed it the second he walked you in earlier. The way her smile dropped just slightly. The way her eyes lingered on him a little too long. The way her tone got… sharper.
You didn’t know why. But Jungkook did.
See, Jungkook had a bit of a fling with Vanessa.
“Bit” being generous. It was short. Casual. Meaningless—at least to him. But Vanessa? Vanessa didn’t do meaningless.
And now? Now she stood at the front desk like a guard dog, watching the freshman dorms like a hawk. And Jungkook just so happened to be public enemy number one.
You glanced toward your door, then back at him.
“She’s not even on this floor,” you said quietly.
“She doesn’t need to be,” he replied, already grabbing his phone from the desk. “She’s got like—RA instincts or something. She’ll sense me.”
You huffed out a small laugh at that.
“She’s not a bloodhound.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he muttered. He thought back to when she found out she was just casual to him. His phone had shattered against the wall just moments before, mascara running down her cheeks. It still gave him chills.
There was a pause. He didn’t move right away. Didn’t rush out like he was in a hurry.
And suddenly—you became very aware of how late it was (11:35 p.m.). How quiet the hallway had gotten. How it was just… you and him.
“You settled in okay?” he asked, softer now.
You nodded. “Yeah… thanks for helping.”
He shrugged. “Yeah.”
Another pause.
You hated how awkward this felt. You hated how it didn’t feel like before. “So,” you started, fidgeting slightly with the hem of your shirt. “You’ve been here for… two years now?”
“Almost,” he nodded. “You’ll get used to it.”
You nodded again. Like that was enough. Like that filled the space.
It didn’t.
Your eyes drifted toward the door. Then back to him.
“You can stay a little longer, y’know… to catch up… and stuff,” you said, before you could think too hard about it. The words hung there.
Jungkook looked at you. Really looked at you. And for a second—
You thought he might say no. But he didn’t.
Instead, he stepped back slightly. Away from the door.
“You sure you don’t want your RA on your ass?” he asked, but there was a slight smirk now. You shrugged.
“You’re just helping me, right?” He let out a quiet laugh.
“Yeah… I am.” And just like that—he stayed.
The room felt smaller now. Warmer.
And you couldn’t tell if that was a good thing. Because standing there—with him—after two years of distance, silence, and almosts—it didn’t feel casual.
It felt like something was about to happen.
And something happened alright.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Jungkook’s girlfriend—friend—whatever she was—apparently had a habit of calling at the worst possible times.
“Jungkook, why does your location say you’re at the freshman dorms?”
Her voice was loud. Sharp. Echoing through the quiet of your room like it didn’t belong there.
Jungkook’s jaw tightened almost instantly.
“Aira, I told you—” he ran a hand through his hair, already sounding irritated. “I’m with a childhood friend. I’m just catching up. It isn’t like that.”
Right. It isn’t like that. Never was. Never will be.
You looked away. Pretending you weren’t listening. Pretending your chest didn’t feel just a little heavier hearing him say that so easily.
On the other end, Aira said something else—faster this time, more accusing—but Jungkook cut her off.
“I’ll call you later,” he muttered. And then he hung up.
Silence filled the room again. But it wasn’t the same silence as before. This one felt… tense. You cleared your throat slightly, trying to shake it off.
“So…” you started, forcing a small smile. “Still popular, I see.”
He scoffed lightly, dropping his phone onto your desk like it annoyed him. “Not really,” he said. “Just… people don’t know how to chill.”
You nodded. Like you understood. Even though you didn’t. Not really. Another pause. But this time it didn’t stay awkward for long. Somehow, the conversation started flowing again. Slow at first. Then easier. Then like no time had passed at all.
You told him about your classes. About how you were studying Animal Science, how you wanted to work with animals someday—maybe a clinic, maybe wildlife, you weren’t sure yet. You talked about how you’d always liked taking care of things, how it just made sense to you.
Jungkook listened. Actually listened. Not half-paying attention like before. Not distracted.
“That fits you,” he said at one point, leaning back slightly. “I can see that.”
Your lips curved into a small smile at that. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “You’ve always been like that.”
Something about the way he said it—soft. Matter-of-fact. Like it was obvious—made your chest feel warm.
And then it was his turn. “I don’t even think I like basketball like that anymore,” he admitted after a while, his voice quieter now.
You blinked. “What?”
He shrugged.
“It’s just… something I’ve always done, you know?” he said. “But lately it just feels like—something I have to do. Not something I want to.”
You tilted your head slightly. “Then what do you want to do?”
He hesitated. Like he wasn’t used to being asked that. Like he hadn’t said it out loud before. “…Film,” he said finally. “Like directing. Editing. Stuff like that.”
Your eyes lit up slightly.
“Wait—that’s actually so cool.”
He let out a small laugh, almost shy.
“Yeah, well… don’t tell anyone yet.”
“Why?”
He shrugged again.
“Feels stupid saying it out loud.”
“It’s not stupid,” you said immediately.
And he looked at you. Really looked at you. Because you said it so easily. Like you meant it. Like you believed in him without questioning it. And for a second—that feeling came back.
That same one from years ago. Sitting on the curb. Hello Kitty Band-Aid on his cheek. You looking at him like—like he mattered.
He looked away first. Clearing his throat slightly.
“You still carry those?” he asked suddenly.
You blinked.
“What?”
“The Band-Aids,” he nodded toward your bag. “The Hello Kitty ones.”
You laughed softly. “Yeah… I do.”
He shook his head, smiling a little.
“Of course you do.”
The room felt warm. Comfortable. Easy. And for a moment, it really didn’t feel like anything had changed.
But under it, under the laughter, the conversation, the familiarity, there was something else. Something quieter. Heavier.
Jungkook left around 1 a.m. that night, lingering at your door for a second longer than necessary before reminding you to text him if you got lost trying to find your classes. It was casual. Simple. Like everything between you was just… that. Casual. Simple. Nothing more. And you nodded, like that was enough, like you didn’t feel that small drop in your chest when he turned and walked away.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
That morning, you were woken up by loud banging—boxes hitting the floor, drawers opening, the sound of someone moving in like they owned the place. You groaned softly, pulling your blanket over your head before peeking out just enough to see a girl standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by half-open suitcases and chaos.
“Hi!! My name’s Aliza,” she whispered loudly, like that somehow made it quieter. She froze for a second, realizing you were already awake, then smiled sheepishly. She had golden brown skin that glowed even under the harsh dorm lighting, perfectly shaped brows, and the silkiest jet-black hair you’d ever seen, falling down her back like it was straight out of a shampoo commercial.
“Sorry—did I wake you?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“A little,” you mumbled, sitting up and rubbing your eyes, but you smiled anyway. She seemed nice. Warm. The kind of person who filled space easily.
While you were meeting your new roommate, Jungkook was running on two and a half hours of sleep. And a headache. And frustration.
Aira.
She stood in his room like she always did, uninvited but completely comfortable, like she belonged there more than he did. She was small, barely 5’2, but she carried herself like she took up more space than anyone else in the room. Her blunt haircut framed her face perfectly, silky brown hair brushing just under her jaw, her eyes sharp, alert, always watching. Always questioning. Always ready to argue.
“Don’t lie to me, Jungkook,” she snapped, pacing slightly now. “Why were you there?”
“I told you already,” he said, voice low, tired. “I was helping a friend move in.”
“A freshman?” she scoffed, like the word itself offended her. “Since when do you hang out with freshmen?”
He clenched his jaw. Because he knew how this looked. Because he knew there was no answer that would satisfy her.
“Since she’s someone I’ve known my whole life,” he replied flatly. “Our families are literally best friends.”
Aira paused. Just for a second.
“Her,” she said. Not asking. Stating. Jungkook didn’t respond. Didn’t need to.
Aira let out a short laugh, shaking her head slightly. “Wow.”
“It’s not like that,” he said again, more firmly this time. She turned to him fully now, crossing her arms.
“You always say that.” That was the problem. Because he did. To be honest, Jungkook had fallen in love with her. Or at least, he thought he did.
They’d been together since sophomore year. She was different from everyone else. She didn’t chase him. Didn’t let him do whatever he wanted. She had rules. Standards. Boundaries. She challenged him. Put him in his place. And he liked that.
Aira was confident. Bold. Exciting. Being with her felt like something. Like a rush. Like a game he actually wanted to win.
So yeah, it felt like a no-brainer. To choose her. To stay with her. To be loyal to her.
But she wasn’t. And that’s the part he never said out loud. He’d never tell anyone the full story. Never admit how it actually went down. Instead, he’d keep it simple. Clean.
“Somewhere along the way, we both made mistakes.” But that wasn’t true.
Aira Tan ruined it.
He remembered the day clearly. Too clearly.
He picked up her phone. Not suspicious. Not searching. Just… there. Unlocked.
And the messages—they weren’t hidden. They weren’t subtle. Multiple names. Multiple conversations. Multiple guys.
Jungkook felt something in his chest drop. Not explode. Not shatter.
Just—drop.
And after that? He didn’t confront her the way he should have. Didn’t walk away. Didn’t end it.
He matched her. If she was doing it, so would he.
And ever since then—that’s what they became. Not a relationship. Not love. Just a cycle.
A toxic, exhausting, never-ending mess of accusations, silence, revenge, and pretending none of it mattered.
“Whatever,” Aira muttered, grabbing her bag. “Just don’t act like I’m stupid.” Jungkook didn’t respond.
Because the truth was, she wasn’t. And neither was he.
But they stayed anyway. Because sometimes, walking away is harder than staying in something broken.
_______________________________________________
Vii: since the fic is already done alll the other parts r out it just won’t let me post a 40k word fic and idk whyyyyyyy 💔💔.
synopsis: The first part of pittfest. Reader is named but is otherwise nondescript.
warnings/notes: This is Pittfest. All associated warnings apply. I get a little graphic with some of this. Read accordingly. Also the timeline is slightly fluid as I switch POVs. Things are happening at the same time from different perspectives. The second part will be out tomorrow.
wc: 5k
“Are you sure about this?” you asked Robby as you finished filling his travel cup with coffee made just the way he liked it.
He hummed as he finished off the last remnants of the breakfast you’d made him. Your eyes ran over him taking in the slump of his shoulders, the tightness around his eyes.
“Micheal.” That was it, just his name but it was enough to get through.
His gaze snapped to yours. “It’s just a day like any other.”
“It’s okay to admit when something hurts. Yes, it’s been years but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”
His shoulders sagged as he set his fork down and pushed the plate away. “It’s stupid. I’m a doctor. Death is part of the job.”
You sighed and leaned against the counter behind you. “He was your mentor, your friend. I can take your shift today.”
He gave you a sad smile. “No. Work keeps my mind off it. I’d rather be busy.”
“And you would have been if you’d gone with Jake. He would never have asked you to give up your ticket.”
Robby shook his head. “I know that. That’s why I told him I was working so he could take Leah. Tickets sold out before we could get one for her.”
Jake had met his soulmate Leah in lifeguard training over the summer. They’d been attached at the hip ever since.
You shook your head slightly. “And you won’t stay home because then Jake will know you lied.” He gave a little shrug and you rounded the counter to wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing your cheek to the top of his head. “You’re a good man, Robinavitch. Better than most deserve.”
He leaned back into your embrace, some of the tension seeping from his body. “Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”
You laughed softly and kissed the crown of his head before releasing him. “Your secret’s safe with me, though I’m pretty sure Jack’s got it figured out as well.”
He stood and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before stepping away, grabbing the coffee you’d prepared for him. “I better get going.”
“Call if you need me.” He nodded and headed for the door, grabbing his bag from the hook. “And Robby?” He paused and looked back at you. “It’s okay to take a minute if it’s too much.”
His expression softened. “I know.” He crossed back to you and kissed you gently. “I’ll see you tonight. Enjoy your time with Jack. He’s been looking forward to it.”
That brought a soft smile to your lips. “So have I.” Your hand cupped his cheek. “I love you, Michael. Take care of yourself today.”
He grinned brightly then. “Love you too, baby.”
And then he was gone, the front door closing behind him with a soft click. You lingered in the kitchen, setting aside a plate for Jack then cleaning up the mess from breakfast while you sipped your coffee. Jack would be home soon and you could spend a lazy day together. You’d been on days this week so you hadn’t seen much of him.
Your phone buzzed on the counter, Rick’s name flashing across the screen. You put him on speaker so you could finish the rest of the breakfast dishes. “Morning, Pretty. What’s up?”
“Thank god you answered.” His voice sounded strained. “I need a massive favor.”
You frowned. “You sound horrible. What’s wrong?”
“Food poisoning. Bad. Like can’t leave the bathroom bad.” He groaned and you winced at the sound. “I’m supposed to be at Pittfest in an hour for the medical tent. Eight to four shift.”
Your heart sank already knowing what he was about to ask. “Rick—”
“Please. I wouldn’t ask if there was anyone else, but the whole squad’s working today, split between the festival and the rigs.” He paused, his breathing rough. “I know you don’t work there anymore but you own the company so…”
“Dad owns the company. How do you know they’ll even accept me as a replacement?” you grumbled.
There was a pause. “You’re a certified physician. Don’t be stupid.” When you didn’t respond, he added, “I swear I’ll make it up to you.”
You closed your eyes, mentally rearranging your plans. Jack would understand but disappointment settled heavy in your chest anyway. “Alright. Text me the details.”
“You’re an angel in more than just name,” Rick said, his relief evident. “I love you. I owe you. Whatever you want.”
“Just focus on staying hydrated.”
After ending the call, you stood in the kitchen and sighed. Jack would be home soon, expecting to find you waiting. The thought made your chest ache. You pulled out the notepad you kept in the drawer and scrawled a quick message. Sorry baby. Had to work. See you when I get home. You added a small heart. It felt inadequate but it would have to do.
You dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans and an old band t-shirt. It seemed appropriate considering. At the door, you paused, hand on the knob as you glanced toward the entryway closet. Amongst the items inside was a go bag that Jack had prepared for you, Robby’s was there as well. Jack carried his with him every day. It seemed like overkill but who knew what extra supplies might come in handy on a day like today.
You grabbed it, slipping it onto your shoulder. The weight was oddly comforting as you stepped into the morning light, pulling the door closed behind you.
Jack eased the front door open, exhaustion weighing him down. It had been a shit shift and he couldn’t wait to just curl up with you. To let your presence take some of this grief from his shoulders.
The house was too quiet. There was no music playing softly, no TV murmuring in the background. None of the soft sounds that filled the house when you were present. He called your name, though the stillness told him you weren’t home. No answer came back to him.
He stowed his bag in its place by the door and moved toward the kitchen. The light was on and his eyes immediately found the notepad propped against the fruit bowl on the counter.
Sorry baby. Had to work. See you when I get home. Followed by a small heart.
His shoulders slumped as he picked up the note to read it again as if the words would change. He rubbed the back of his neck, which did nothing to ease the knot of disappointment forming there. He’d been looking forward to this day off together and now it wouldn’t happen.
He sighed as he set the note down and checked the microwave. As expected, you’d left him breakfast. He heated it slightly before taking the plate to the table. He sat in his usual spot looking between the two empty seats. Your father was working on integrating staff into the emergency department so the three of you could all be on the same shift, but it was slow going.
He chewed methodically, not really tasting anything. His eyes drifted to his phone, sitting face up beside his plate. No notifications. He tapped the screen anyway, checking to see if he’d somehow missed a message. Nothing. He placed his plate in the dishwasher before washing and drying his hands.
His phone remained silent on the table. He picked it up, thumb hovering over your contact before deciding against texting. If you were called in, you were busy. No need to distract you just because he was feeling sorry for himself.
He headed to the elevator in the corner of the living room, too exhausted to even contemplate trudging up the stairs. Sleep. He needed to sleep. As he stepped from the elevator into your room he checked his phone one last time. Still nothing.
He stripped his clothes, throwing them in the work hamper before sitting on the bench at the side of the room to remove his leg. He used his crutches to head into the shower, which he kept short today, just wanting the comfort of his bed even if you weren’t in it with him.
At least you were with Robby. The thought provided a small measure of comfort as he closed his eyes. You’d take care of each other. That was all that mattered.
Sleep came slowly. His last conscious thought was of his soulmates. He’d see you again soon enough. For now, that would have to be sufficient.
Your day had been relatively uneventful all things considered. The festival didn’t open until noon so you’d been on site strictly for the workers prior to that. Other than one man who’d suffered a crush injury, the rest had been minor cuts and bruises.
Once the festival started, you’d treated a few sprains from mosh pits, three overdoses with Narcan that were then sent on to the hospital and a miscellany of minor issues. A glance at your watch showed you that your time was nearly up.
As if summoned at the thought, your replacement Travis showed up with a smile. You handed off to him and grabbed your phone. Part of you just wanted to head home, but the rest of you wanted to meet Jake’s soulmate he hadn’t introduced any of you to yet. Deciding that staying for dinner wouldn’t hurt anyone, you sent Jake a text.
I’m at the med tent. You two want to grab dinner? My treat.
The response came a moment later: Hell yes. Starving. Be there in a bit.
You slipped your phone into your pocket with a smile. At least you’d get to spend some time with Jake even if you’d missed your day with Jack. You hovered outside the entrance, waving when you saw Jake and a girl heading in your direction.
His face lit up when he spotted you and he pulled her forward through the crowd. “Angel! What are you doing here?” he asked, pulling you into a quick hug.
“Rick got food poisoning. Conned me into covering for him.” You turned your attention to the girl. “You must be Leah.”
She smiled as she extended her hand. “Yeah. Jake talks about you all the time.”
You grinned. “Robby’s going to be so jealous that I met you first.”
“Well, we did video chat earlier,” Leah said. “We called to thank him for the tickets. He seems really nice.”
“He is,” you agreed before adding, “when he wants to be.”
Jake laughed. “Come on. The food trucks are this way.”
You let him lead the way as the two teenagers chattered about the festival, holding hands as they walked. You smiled as you listened to them describe the bands they’d seen so far and who was performing later that they were looking forward to.
The scent of sizzling meat and fried dough hung in the air as you reached the clearing where the food vendors were set up. There was a line in front of all them. Bass from the main stage vibrated through the ground beneath your feet. Jake pointed toward a truck with a neon green logo, its menu board advertising gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. “That one’s supposed to be amazing,” he said, his arm around Leah’s shoulders.
You opened your mouth to respond when you watched someone jerk to the side and fall to the ground, blood blooming on their shirt. Then another and another.
Bullet wounds.
There was a shooter at Pittfest. Screams filled the air as others realized the same thing. The music cut off with a screech and amongst the terror you could make out the crack of gunshots. Oh god.
Bodies collided as people ran in every direction, seeking cover that didn’t exist. A woman fell beside you, pushed down by the panicking crowd. Jake pulled her to her feet only to have her head rip backward with the impact of a bullet.
“GET DOWN!” you yelled, grabbing Jake’s shirt with one hand and Leah’s arm with the other, yanking them both toward the ground. You scanned the area as Jack’s voice screamed through your mind. Find cover. Get out of the line of fire. Watch your six.
“Stay low,” you ordered. “Move with me.”
You half-dragged, half-pushed them toward the nearest food truck, the one you’d been planning to eat at moments before. More shots cracked through the air. People fell around you, some hit, others diving for cover. You did your best to keep your body between the gunfire and the teenagers in your charge, hunched low as you scrambled across the grass.
The door to the truck was closed. You yanked on the handle. Locked. You pounded your fist against the metal. “Let us in. I have kids with me. We need cover.”
There was a beat where you thought they wouldn’t respond, then the door swung open. You shoved Jake and Leah inside, following quickly, pulling the door shut behind you. A man in an apron crouched on the floor, eyes wide with terror.
“Stay down,” you instructed all of them.
It was only then that you noticed the blood. Dark crimson spread across Jake’s jeans mid-calf, soaking through the denim at an alarming rate.
“Shit,” you said, unzipping your go bag. “Jake, you’ve been hit.”
He looked down, his face draining of color. “I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel it.”
“It’s okay, Jake. Deep breaths for me.” You pulled one of multitude of disposable tourniquets from the bag and tied it around his leg. A sharpie in the outside pocket caught your eye and you used it to write the time on the tourniquet. Your gaze shifted from him to Leah. “If it takes you a while to get out of here, you loosen that in an hour. Apply pressure to the wound for five minutes then you can retie it.”
She nodded as tears ran down her face. Your eyes caught a flash of red on her skin. You turned her arm to find a graze across the upper part. A first aid kit on the wall caught your eye and you ripped it open. You passed a gauze packet to Leah. “Apply pressure to that wound.”
You added the rest of the contents to your bag knowing you’d need every bit of it. Outside, the gunfire continued, punctuated by screams and distant sirens. You popped up to look through the window seeing bodies on the ground. Some moving, others terrifyingly still.
You turned back to Jake. “When the shooting stops, you get the hell out of here and head to the Pitt. Both of you. Follow the crowds. There will be ambulances setting up on the perimeter but get a ride with anyone you can. Get to them as soon as you can, okay?”
Jake’s eyes widened as understanding dawned. “Wait. Where are you going? You have to stay here.”
You shook your head, already zipping up your bag in preparation for a run. “There are people out there who won’t make it without immediate help.”
“You can’t go out there,” Leah protested, terrified. “The shooter—”
“Is one person. There are dozens of victims. I have to help them.” You turned to the cook who had been silently watching the exchange. “Will you look after them?”
He nodded, straightening slightly. “Yes. I’ll get them to safety as soon as we have the chance.”
You squeezed Jake’s hand once, hard. “You’re going to be okay. You both will. Jack and Robby would do the same thing if they were here. You know they would.”
“They’ll kill you if you get hurt,” Jake said, his attempt at a smile more of a grimace.
“Then I better not get hurt.” You stood, sliding the bag across the front of your body so you could get into it without taking it off. “I’ll see you at the hospital.”
Before either teenager could protest further, you yanked the door open and slipped back outside, crouching as you moved to the nearest victim. A woman clutched her abdomen, dark blood seeping between her fingers. The sounds of gunfire had become more sporadic but hadn’t ceased entirely. There were still the occasional screams sprinkled throughout.
You kept your head down and your focus narrow. One patient at a time. It was all you could do.
Jack sat on the couch in the bedroom, police scanner crackling in the background while he half listened. He’d only been able to get a few hours of sleep until he gave up. His phone lay silent on the coffee table. He hadn’t heard from either of you today, work keeping you busy.
A sharp, sudden wave of pure, undiluted terror washed through him and he sat bolt upright on the couch. His heart rate spiked, breath catching. The sensation wasn’t his own. This was something else. Either you or Robby was scared shitless at the moment.
He reached for his phone, desperate to talk to one of you when the scanner interrupted his thoughts.
“All units respond, active shooter at Pittfest. I repeat there is an active shooter at Pittfest. Multiple casualties. Repeat there is an active shooter on the Pittfest grounds. All available units respond immediately.”
Oh god. Jake was there. Robby must have heard, the call going out to the hospital immediately. The fear he’d felt was undoubtedly amplified because he was getting it from both of you at once.
Jack was on his feet in an instant, his body moving before his mind had even fully formed a plan. He grabbed a scrub top and pulled it over his t-shirt. Keys, wallet and phone went into his pockets before he hurried down the stairs, grabbing his bag on the way out the front door.
The drive to the hospital passed in a blur of red lights and shortcuts. The fear in his chest hadn’t subsided. If anything, it had only intensified, now joined by his own anxiety about Jake, about the hospital being prepared for what was coming.
Robby pressed a hand to his chest, a sudden ache catching him off guard quickly followed by a wave of fear so intense it stole his breath. This wasn’t his own worry, this was something transmitted through the bond.
He pulled his phone out, needing to reach one of you when it blew up with alerts. An active shooter at Pittfest. Jake. Oh fuck. Jake was there. Jack must have had the scanner on. The two of you hearing the announcement would explain the fear he’d felt, amplified by the two of you. Now it mixed with his own, and was nearly impossible to separate.
He tried to call Jake, cursing under his breath when it went straight to voicemail. He handed the phone over to Dana. “Keep trying to reach Jake.”
She nodded, already mobilizing the staff, directing nurses to prepare rooms and calling for additional personnel. Robby focused on the tasks at hand all while swallowing down the fear and anxiety warring in his chest.
He was reviewing triage protocols when Jack hurried through the ED doors. Their eyes met across the department, relief flooding Robby at the sight of him. He crossed the space between them in long strides, embracing his soulmate briefly but fiercely.
When they separated, both spoke at once. “Where’s Angel?”
“What do you mean?” Robby asked, his stomach dropping as the memory of that horrible fear returned to him. “She’s not with you?”
Jack shook his head, the color draining from his face. “I thought she was here. She left a note saying she had to work.”
“Not here. I haven’t seen her since this morning.”
They stared at each other, the implications sinking in as the ED preparation continued around them. Jack pulled out his phone, his fingers clumsy with growing dread. The call went straight to voicemail. He tried again with the same result.
“Nothing. Where the fuck could she be?”
“What about Rick? She said he was working at…” Robby’s voice trailed off as realization dawned. “He was working at Pittfest today.”
The world around him seemed to slow as his stomach churned. “No,” he whispered, the denial automatic even as the certainty settled cold and heavy in his gut. “She can’t be there.”
But it all made a horrible sense now. You were missing and they were drowning in your fear. You were at Pittfest in the middle of an active shooter situation.
Jack’s face had gone completely white as his hands scrambled for the hem of Robby’s top. He pushed it up with desperate intensity exposing Robby’s ribs where their names were etched into his skin. Jack’s name shone its normal golden color against his flesh, but beneath it, your name burned a vibrant, angry red. The universal sign of a soulmate in mortal danger.
“Oh god,” Jack breathed, his hand reaching out to touch the letters. “She’s there. She’s really there.”
The scrub top fell back into place. “She must have covered for Rick for some reason. She wouldn’t have missed out on the day with you for anything less than an emergency,” Robby said.
“And now she’s in the middle of a fucking shooting.” Jack’s voice was tight with barely controlled panic.
Before either could speak again, Richard Montgomery arrived in the emergency department. Everything about him projected authority as he strode through the chaos to the two men. “Robby, Jack. I see you’re getting things organized here. You have my full support. Whatever you need, it’s yours.”
“Thank you, sir,” Robby replied, exchanging a glance with Jack. They needed to let your father know you were in danger but he didn’t know how to even begin that conversation.
Richard’s hand landed on Robby’s shoulder. “I’ve arranged for additional supplies and blood from our other facilities. It is in route as we speak.” He glanced around the department. “I’ve also called in all available staff within twenty minutes of the hospital regardless of their home facility. You’ll have more help as soon as possible.”
Jack stepped closer, swallowing hard. “Any idea of what we’re looking at here?”
“Dozens. We won’t be the only hospital seeing patients, but we’re the closest so we’ll get the brunt.”
Robby ran a hand through his hair. “We need to clear the department. I need all of these rooms open.”
Richard gestured across the room where beds were being moved. “Already being handled. My assistant will be in contact with you throughout the crisis, coordinating between departments. Whatever you need, you tell her, she’ll make it happen.”
Robby nodded. “And where will you be?”
“In the OR where I can do the most good.” His expression shifted as he glanced around the department again. “Where’s Katrina? Is she on her way in?”
Jack’s jaw tightened while Robby’s gaze dropped momentarily to the floor. “We don’t know,” Jack admitted, voice rough.
Richard’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean, you don’t know.”
Robby took a deep breath. “We think she’s at Pittfest.”
The elder man’s expression didn’t change but his eyes hardened, became more focused. “You think she’s there? You don’t know for certain?”
Instead of answering, Robby lifted the edge of his scrub top, revealing the names. Richard’s gaze fixed on the angry red of his daughter’s name. “She was supposed to off today, but she left a note that she was working. Rick was supposed to be there today.”
“She’s in danger,” Richard said flatly.
“Yes,” Robby said, letting his shirt fall back into place. “We’ve tried calling but we can’t reach her or Jake.”
“Jake’s there too?”
“With his soulmate Leah. I gave him my ticket. Neither of them are answering their phones.”
Richard shook his head. “The systems are overloaded. I doubt the calls are even getting through. They’ll be okay. They have to be.”
Robby nodded, grateful for the attempt at comfort.
As the doors opened to admit the first patients, Richard headed toward the elevator. “Let me know the minute you hear from either of them. I’ll be in OR three.”
“I’ve never been so glad to have him as our soulmate’s father,” Jack said, already moving toward the incoming patients.
Robby shot a glance at Dana as he followed behind. “Anything?”
She shook her head. Nothing from the two people he needed to hear from the most.
You crawled on your hands and knees through grass slick with blood and mud, moving from one fallen body to the next as gunshots continued to crack through the air. The festival grounds had transformed to a battlefield in minutes. Screams still filled the air, bodies sprawled across the once joyful space, the scent of blood filled the air. Your heart hammered against your ribs but your instincts had taken over, pushing past the terror that threatened to paralyze you.
A young woman ten feet ahead of you clutched her thigh where blood pulsed between her fingers. Arterial bleed. You scrambled forward, keeping low as another shot rang out, closer this time. The bullet struck a nearby cart with a ping that made you flinch.
“I’m a doctor,” you said as you reached the woman. “I need to stop this bleeding.”
Terror contorted the woman’s face, her lips already taking on a bluish tinge. You pulled out on of the few windlass torniquets from the depths of the bag. It was the only hope for a wound like this in these conditions.
“This is going to hurt,” you warned, though the woman seemed beyond registering pain, her eyes wide and unfocused. You applied the torniquet to the upper thigh, tightening it until the blood slowed to a trickle. You wrote the time directly on the tourniquet, then wrote RED on the woman’s arm.
Your hands trembled as you worked, betraying the terror you fought to suppress. You forced them to steady through sheer will, the way you’d learned to do during your first trauma rotation. There wasn’t time for fear. Not when seconds meant lives.
“Stay still,” you instructed though you doubted the woman heard.
You moved to the next victim, a teenage boy with a gunshot wound to the chest, blood pooling beneath him. No pulse. Dead. You forced yourself to move on.
Twenty feet away, a man sat propped against an overturned merchandise table, holding his bloodied arm. You hurried to him, your breath ragged.
“Let me see.” You gently pulled his hand away. The wound was a through and through in the bicep, bleeding controlled all things considered. “You’re going to be okay.” You grabbed a t-shirt from the ground and tied it around the wound. “Keep pressure on that,” you instructed as you wrote YELLOW on his forearm.
Sweat trickled down your face, mixing with splatters of other people’s blood. You wiped it with your shoulder but it did little good. Your clothes were soaked though with blood, none of it yours. You’d only had two pairs of gloves in your bag so you’d been working bare handed, skin slick and covered in crimson.
You had no idea how long you’d been working. Your muscles burned and the gunfire never seemed to end. There would be stretches of silence only for it to be interrupted again and again. You tried to track the shooter’s position by sound, but it was impossible.
As you moved to the next patient, you tripped over a child’s stuffed animal lying in a pool of blood. You pushed the image aside to focus on the woman in front of you. Her breathing was shallow and wet as you tore open her shirt to reveal a sucking chest wound. You dug through your rapidly diminishing supplies. There. Buried at the bottom was an occlusive dressing which you quickly applied. You wrote RED on her arm in large letters, though you were unsure she’d make it to the ED.
Someone called your name and your head snapped up. Travis, the medic who had replaced you at the tent, was heading in your direction, a bag of supplies in hand. Relief surged through you at the sight.
He was thirty feet away, then twenty.
Fifteen.
Ten.
Five.
The crack of a weapon cut through the air.
Travis’s head snapped forward in a spray of red mist. You watched, frozen as blood and tissue arced through the air, warm droplets spattered across your face, your neck and your already blood soaked clothing. Some landed in your mouth, metallic and warm.
His body continued forward for another step before it collapsed in a heap inches from you.
You scrambled backward on all fours, a strangled sound escaping you. You spat desperately, trying to clear the taste from your mouth, your mind racing to process what your body was already reacting to.
He laid in the dirt, half his skull missing. The bag he’d carried had fallen beside him, medical supplies spilling out onto the grass. Things you desperately needed. Your training warred with your terror, your body torn between fleeing and the duty that had driven you to attempt to help in the first place. A sob built in your chest but you swallowed it down. Crying wouldn’t save anyone. Wouldn’t save you. Pushing yourself forward, you gathered the supplies, shoving them into the bag still strapped across your chest.
You left bloody prints on everything you touched, but it couldn’t be helped. The smell of death filled your nostrils, making your stomach lurch as you diverted your gaze from the corpse of the man you’d once known. You forced back the bile and moved to the next victim and the next, marking times, writing colors. There was only the work now. Only the next patient, the next breath.
And the persistent prayer to a god you didn’t believe in that this carnage stopped.
⚠️Trigger Warnings: Dark themes, psychological and domestic abuse, power imbalance dynamics, public humiliation, sexualized tension, discussion of menstruation, canon-divergent content, original characters.
Summary: "Vaelyra Blackfyre wakes at the Ashford tourney to discover that her carefully concealed secret has been revealed."
Vaelyra Blackfyre woke before dawn with a dull, aching pain in her lower belly. At first, she thought it was only another restless night, another reminder of how little peace she had found since arriving at Ashford. She lay still beneath the thin blankets of her tent, listening to the distant sounds of the camp slowly stirring, until another sharp wave of discomfort made her inhale sharply.
Uneasily, she shifted.
Then she felt the warmth.
Her body went rigid.
With trembling fingers, she reached beneath the covers. When she drew her hand back and saw the dark stain against her skin, her heart dropped into her stomach.
Blood.
Her moon’s blood had come again.
Not for the first time. Not unexpectedly. And yet, it filled her with immediate dread.
For more than a year, Vaelyra had hidden the truth. She had allowed her family and the royal court to believe that she had not yet come of age, that she was still a child in body as well as in name. It was a lie born of desperation. As long as she could pretend, the marriage could be delayed. As long as she could delay, she could keep herself away from Aerion.
Now the lie was unraveling.
She pressed her hand to her mouth, fighting back tears. If anyone discovered this, everything would change. The wedding would come quickly. There would be no more excuses, no more waiting.
She would belong to him.
Ellyn, her maid, stirred beside her.
“My lady?” she whispered. “Are you all right?”
Vaelyra hesitated before slowly pulling back the blanket. Ellyn followed her gaze and immediately understood.
“Oh,” she murmured softly.
“Please,” Vaelyra said in a shaking voice. “You promised you wouldn’t tell. Please, Ellyn.”
“I won’t,” the girl replied quickly. “Come. We should clean this before anyone notices. The camp will wake soon.”
They dressed quietly and slipped outside into the pale light of early morning. The tourney grounds were beginning to stir: cooks lighting fires, guards changing shifts, squires rubbing sleep from their eyes. Vaelyra kept her head lowered, acutely aware of every glance in her direction.
She felt as though everyone could see her secret written across her face.
At the stream, she knelt and began to wash her stained linen. The cold water stung her fingers, but she barely noticed. Her hands were shaking too badly.
“I tried so hard to be careful,” she whispered. “I never wanted this to happen here.”
Ellyn crouched beside her. “We’ll manage somehow,” she said, though her voice lacked confidence.
They were almost finished when footsteps approached behind them.
Vaelyra sensed it before she heard it.
She turned slowly.
Aerion Targaryen stood several paces away, already dressed for the day, his arms folded across his chest. His pale eyes moved deliberately from the bloodstained cloth to the water, and finally to her face.
Realization flickered across his expression.
“So,” he said quietly, “this is what you’ve been hiding.”
Ellyn stepped forward nervously. “My prince, she only meant to...”
“Leave us,” Aerion interrupted.
“My prince...”
“Leave,” he repeated coldly, “or I will have you beheaded for helping her deceive me.”
Ellyn went pale.
“My lady…” she whispered.
“Go,” Vaelyra said softly, tears forming in her eyes.
Reluctantly, Ellyn fled.
Aerion walked closer until he stood directly in front of her.
“How long?” he asked.
She lowered her gaze. “About a year.”
“A year,” he repeated. “For a year, you let my family believe you were still a child.”
“I was afraid,” she replied, her voice breaking. “I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I only wanted more time.”
“Time for what?” he asked sharply. “To pretend you could avoid your duty?”
“I never meant to shame you,” she said desperately. “I swear it.”
He gave a short, humorless laugh. “A Blackfyre swearing honesty. How amusing.”
His hand closed around her wrist.
“You are a liar,” he continued. “And a traitor, just like the rest of your house. Deceit runs in your blood.”
“That isn’t true,” she sobbed. “I’ve never betrayed anyone.”
“You betrayed me,” he replied.
He pulled her to her feet.
“Come,” he said. “You will explain yourself to my father and my uncle.”
They crossed the camp together as the sun rose higher. People were fully awake now. Some stared openly. Others whispered behind their hands. Vaelyra felt exposed and humiliated, unable to hide her tears.
At Ashford Castle, Aerion pushed aside the entrance door and led her inside.
Prince Maekar looked up sharply. “Aerion? What is going on?”
Prince Baelor, already dressed, stepped forward in concern. “Why is the girl crying?”
“She has deceived us,” Aerion replied. “For more than a year.”
Prince Baelor turned to Vaelyra gently. “Is this true, child?”
She nodded, unable to speak.
“I was frightened,” she whispered at last. “I never meant to cause trouble. I only wanted more time.”
Prince Maekar’s expression hardened. “Aerion, you had no right to drag her here like this.”
“She shamed me,” Aerion snapped. “She made me look foolish.”
“She is just afraid” Prince Baelor replied firmly. “And fear is not a crime.”
Aerion’s gaze hardened. “She is my betrothed. She will learn not to lie to me again.”
The words sent a chill through Vaelyra.
For a long moment, no one spoke.
The room was heavy with tension. Vaelyra knelt between the three men, her hands clenched in her skirts, her eyes fixed on the floor. She felt small and painfully visible, as though every breath she took was an offense.
Prince Baelor was the first to break the silence.
“This matter cannot be settled in haste,” he said calmly. “Nor in anger.”
Aerion’s jaw tightened. “It is already settled. She lied. She will answer for it.”
Prince Baelor turned to him, his gaze steady. “She's to be your lady wife, you will lower your voice when you speak of her.”
Aerion laughed softly. “Why? She is nothing but a disgraced Blackfyre girl pretending at innocence.”
Vaelyra flinched.
Prince Maekar’s eyes flashed. “Enough.”
Prince Baelor raised a hand slightly, signaling for calm.
“I will send for her father,” he said. “He has the right to hear this from us, not through whispers and rumors.”
Vaelyra’s head snapped up.
Her father.
Panic surged through her chest.
“No,” she whispered. “Please… please your grace, don’t.”
Baelor knelt in front of her, lowering himself to her level.
“Vaelyra,” he said gently, “this is not punishment. This is protection. Your family must be involved.”
She shook her head, tears spilling freely now. “He’ll be ashamed of me. He’ll think I’ve ruined everything.”
“You have not,” Prince Baelor replied firmly. “You were afraid. That is all.”
Aerion snorted. “Afraid?” he echoed. “She was calculating. Just like every Blackfyre before her.”
Maekar turned sharply to his son. “Hold your tongue.”
“Why should I?” Aerion demanded. “They rebelled against our house. They stained our history with treason and blood. And now I am expected to marry one of them and pretend she is honorable?”
Baelor’s voice hardened. “You will show respect.”
“Respect?” Aerion laughed bitterly. “To people who would have happily seen us dead if they had won?”
Vaelyra felt as though his words were knives, each one cutting deeper than the last.
“I never wanted any of that,” she whispered. “I never cared about rebellions or crowns. I only wanted to live quietly.”
“And yet,” Aerion replied coldly, “you carry their name. Their poison. Their lies.”
Prince Baelor stood.
“That is enough,” he said firmly. “You shame yourself.”
Aerion’s eyes burned. “I shame myself by being forced into this farce.”
Maekar stepped forward. “You shame yourself by cruelty.”
Silence fell again.
Outside, the camp continued its life, unaware of the storm inside the castle.
Prince Baelor turned to a servant waiting near the entrance. “Send for Lord Blackfyre.”
The servant bowed and hurried away.
Vaelyra’s breath grew shallow.
Her father would come.
He would see her like this, crying, humiliated, and disgraced.
She felt dizzy.
Aerion noticed.
“Look at her,” he said quietly. “Already playing the victim.”
She stayed quiet.
Prince Baelor turned to her again, his voice gentle. “You are safe here,” he said. “No one will harm you.”
She wanted to believe him.
But Aerion was standing right there.
And he had already harmed her.
They did not have to wait long.
Vaelyra’s father entered the room with two retainers behind him, his silver hair catching the pale light of dawn, his violet eyes searching desperately for any sign of harm. The unmistakable Targaryen beauty of his features, sharp cheekbones, silver hair, violet eyes, marked him as a Blackfyre of the old line, a reminder of rebellion and lineage. He bowed deeply. “Your grace, my princes,” he said, his voice steady though his heart ached for his daughter.
He found Vaelyra kneeling, trembling, her skirts clutched tightly, tears streaking her cheeks.
“Vaelyra,” he said softly, moving quickly to her side, “what has happened?”
“I…” She could not speak.
Aerion stepped forward, voice low and sharp. “She has lied to us for over a year. Pretended she had not come of age. Deceived my house and delayed her marriage.”
Aemon’s violet eyes widened. “That is impossible. My daughter—”
“She has,” Aerion cut in, pale eyes glinting with cold amusement. “And it reflects on you, Lord Blackfyre. You have allowed deceit to flourish in your household. You have permitted a liar to be raised under your care.”
Vaelyra’s chest tightened, panic and shame twisting together.
Prince Maekar’s voice cut through, firm. “Aerion, enough.”
Aerion ignored him. “Do you deny it, Lord Blackfyre? That she has lied? That rebellion and deception run in her blood?”
Aemon’s jaw tightened. He opened his mouth, then closed it. The words he wanted to say — that she was innocent, that she had only tried to protect herself — lodged in his throat. Pride, fear, the weight of his daughter’s humiliation pressed down on him.
“Speak,” Aerion said softly, stepping closer. “Or remain silent and let me decide her punishment.”
With a deep, trembling breath, Lord Aemon lowered his gaze and inclined his head toward Aerion and the princes. “I… I apologize, my Prince ” he said slowly, each word tasting of ash. “I apologize to you, to House Targaryen, and to Prince Maekar. My daughter’s deception was mine to see, and I failed to prevent it.”
Vaelyra’s stomach twisted violently. She pressed her face to her hands. Her father bowed, publicly apologizing to the house that had destroyed his own.
Aerion’s violet eyes flicked over them both. A slow, satisfied smirk touched his lips. This was not just punishment for Vaelyra; this was triumph, humiliation, and control all in one.
“Yes,” Aerion said softly, the words sharp as a blade. “That is fitting. You will learn your place. And she,” he turned to Vaelyra, voice cold, “will remember who rules her life.”
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: It's that time of year again where a k-horror high-school series has me hooked enough to write about it. There was just something about If Wishes Could Kill that pulled me in since the very first episode, so much so, where I ended up binging the entire show the day after it released. This is also possibly the only(?) time I'm writing for the second lead (Kang Hajoon x Reader [named]) but I just loved(!) his family dynamics way too much to not explore and partly also because to me, the main couple's relationship is untouchable (in a good way). All this to say, we're here (again), I'm back, and although I'm not sure how big the fandom will be for this franchise, hopefully the read is entertaining regardless! I debated for a very long time about whether to cross-post here on this platform but I ultimately decided to as a sort of digital library for my writings ♡
The following themes may be triggering, so please proceed at your own risk: occultism, the supernatural, possession, bullying, blood, gore, self-inflicted harm, violence, vulgarity, and death. Due to the aforementioned cautions, the rating will be set at M for mature.
This book is purely a work of fiction.
Names, characters, places, and incidents are entirely products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locals, persons, living or dead, is absolutely coincidental. All credit goes to the creators of Netflix's If Wishes Could Kill it's based off of for the canon characters, plotline, and overarching flow of events. I do not own anything aside from the creative license of elements that deviate from the original works including, but not limited to, plot, dialogue, characterization, narrative, and reader-insert.
Understand that this fictional narrative does not condone engaging with the supernatural realm or any form of violence. The portrayal of characters and their actions is purely for dramatic effect and storytelling purposes.
Word count: 17k (it's a bit long, so strap in lol)
Michael Corleone x Obsessive!OC
Warnings: Mental illness, obsession, minor stalking, psychopathy, description of blood and injury, description of violence, depression, organized crime, gun violence, extortion, eventual smut, etc.
Summary: You—Cecilia Nicolosi—can easily be described as perfect by your friends and classmates. Not only did you have amazing grades, a kind personality, and a beautiful family, but you even received a full ride to Dartmouth College in Massachusetts. But what happens when you meet Michael Corleone, a man who threatens it all—unknowingly cracking your meticulously crafted mask with a single smile thrown your way. You might not show it—hiding behind the mask of indifference—but, no matter where Michael Corleone decides to go, your eyes will always be on him.
Dividers created by: @uzmacchiato
This Work is Inspired by:
"The Other Woman" by: @melis-writes
"Dangerous Game" by: Emonaculate on AO3
Check these fics out! The writing in both is amazing 👏
The Fic is also cross posted to ao3!
My Eyes Are On You AO3 Link
A necessary truth you learned as a young girl was that your reputation matters: not everyone cared about who you were on the inside, instead creating an image of you from their own perspective.
This was especially important in the late 1920s when the Great Depression left your family name as the only stable form of ‘currency’ your family had.
Although your tight-knit community came together to help support one another during those trying times, nobody had the money—nor time—to care for people outside of their family and circle. That is, unless they knew you were good for something.
This is what your parents had to live on when they fled to New York in 1911. Your father had gotten into some trouble with some ‘businessmen’ in Sicily and ended up taking your mother with him as they left.
With the clothes on their backs, two shared suitcases and their meager savings, your mother and father had to drift from relatives and friends' homes as they built up their lives in the big city.
Despite your fathers hasty decision to leave Sicily—with a woman who wasn't even his wife—your family name stayed intact.
Your grandfather had been a central figure in Palermo, Sicily, working as a traveling priest like his forefathers in the Roman Catholic church. His kindness and willingness to help lead many to know of and respect your family.
Not long after immigrating to NYC they ended up in Greenwich Village, a neighborhood budding with a community of Italian and Sicilian immigrants. Many friends from both your father and mother's past had ended up in the little borrow.
Your father quickly found work as a construction worker, often working long hours for pennies on the dollar. Your mother has been lucky enough to snag a nanny and housekeeping position for a well off American couple.
Your parents drifted from home to home, building their savings and trying to create a family of their own. At the time, life was good, both were young, money was flowing, and they were unmistakably in love.
It didn't take long for them to find and purchase a home nuzzled into the heart of Greenwich.
With a space of their own, they finally felt comfortable enough having children, and
In 1916, they welcomed your older brother Leone. He was the blessing they always dreamed of, inheriting your fathers eyes and mothers curly mop of hair. Not too long after, your older sister Isabella was born in 1919.
Then, in the spring of 1922, you—Cecilia Nicolosi—came into the world, welcomed by the warmth of your mothers bosom.
As a child, you were brought up with all the love your parents and older siblings could spare: speaking Sicilian and Italian—along with English—so you wouldn't forget the roots and traditions of your family's home.
After you learnt to walk, your parents weren't home often, leaving you in the hands of trusted friends and neighbors. However, when they were, there was never a quiet moment in the home.
Your mother often sang as she cooked in the kitchen, her melodic voice often enticing your older sister into dancing. Your father, invigorated by the familiar folk songs of home, would occasionally place your smaller feet on top of his and danced Tarantella with you in the kitchen. It was fast paced, lively, chaotic and usually ended with you father collapsing in a chair with you on his lap and laughing loudly.
Your brother always reminisces about these moments. He always described them as 'warm’ or 'comforting,’ yet, you never understood how those emotions were supposed to feel. But they never mattered. There were more important things to worry about.
It didn't take long for your younger sister to be born into the surprisingly gentle December of 1928, when the frigid air was easily fought off by a nice pair of worn gloves.
However, while the winter was merciful, the stock market crash proved to have been more devastating than a brutal winter.
As rapid deflation occurred, many of your neighborhoods, including your mother, lost their jobs. The couple had been reluctant to let her go, but they couldn't provide the money she deserved.
You were just a girl then, but you could vividly remember how everyone in your community came together. Even though many families were drowning in debt, they still pitched in what they could afford to support those in need.
Neighborhood gardens sprouted up, allowing those in need to pick what they needed. Even the local corner store converted into a second hand shop when suppliers started disappearing. Cheap clothing and necessities like secondhand school and job uniforms were donated and quickly bought up.
Your family had been lucky enough to have had savings stored into the floorboards of your home. Your mother had always been sceptical of leaving her hard-earned money in the hands of strangers. Most of your fathers savings had disappeared, but he was still able to keep his construction job as he was one of the few who could work efficiently with electrical wiring.
It was probably the only reason you and your siblings were able to continue going to school. It also helped when weird men started appearing and asking for ‘protection money.’ Even so, there were still instances when your family had to go to bed hungry in an effort to make the money last.
Your brother was 17 at the time and insisted on finding work to help support the family. He soon started to help as a courtroom writer, taking short-hand notes of cases after getting an internship through the local high school.
At first he was mainly placed to work on small, petty crimes committed by first time offenders. However, when a journalist in a high profile mafia case couldn't make it to trial, he snuck in and took his spot.
He used this opportunity to write an article for his school newspaper on the defendant, Francesco Rossi. He was charged with three counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and drug trafficking after attacking officers while being arrested. During the trial, it was exposed that he was a high ranking member of the Barzini family's crime ring.
Although the case seemed open-shut, the court ended up throwing out the charges on the basis of 'lack of evidence.’ Everyone knew it was corruption, but no reputable journalist would report on something so risky, at least not until Leone's article won an award and was taken up by a local newspaper. It was your brother's down to earth attitude and first hand experience inside the courtroom that led thousands of New Yorkers to tune in.
It soon made its way to the front page of a local and took a small section in the New York Times ‘Up-in-Coming Writers’ section. Your brother received 100 dollars as payment and your parents sat down and read one of the many news clips out loud to you and your sisters.
It was your first time being exposed to the underbelly of New York, but since you were getting older, your parents thought it best to teach you early: after all in New York, it would be impossible to avoid them.
The cosa nostra—or mafia as Americans call them—were businessmen that you should never allow yourself to become indebted to, unless you were prepared to pay the debt tenfold. There were five families in New York and they could be cruel to those who betrayed or disrespected their respective families' honor.
They were often wolves in sheep's clothing, promising offers that you could not refuse, only to ensnare you in their grasp and more often than not, the repercussions of getting involved with them could be brutal.
They demanded respect and fear of those they dealt with, and your father made it very clear that by no means should you find yourself associated with them. He had made the grave mistake of working for a family in Sicily and almost paid with his life.
After this lesson, you slowly started to feel more eyes on you and those of your family. They were so inconspicuous, blending into the point where everyone in your neighborhood disregarded them. After all, why would the mafia care about some highschooler’s little article?
It all came to a head after the birth of your twin brothers—Andrea and Alessandro—in the spring of 1933. Not even three weeks later, Leone was shot during his high school graduation, right as he reached out to hold his diploma.
Immediate pandemonium ensued. People rushed to help Leone where he had fallen on the stage set up on the school's football field while fathers—including your own—ran to apprehend the shooter: tackling him to the ground and beating him within an inch of his life.
You remember watching the pool of blood ooze out of his abdomen where he lay, an inky, dark red so unlike any color you've ever seen. It soaked into his light blue graduation gown and coated the freshly polished shoes of the women trying to stop the bleeding.
The viscera left an eerily beautiful scene, the blood gleaming in the summer sun while the heavy scent of iron filled your lungs: coating your tongue as if you had tasted it. Even when your gaze was interrupted by your older sister covering your eyes, you could still see the crimson from behind your eyelids.
Police and medical personnel quickly arrived, carting your brother off to the hospital. Your mother wailed into the chest of your father, unconsolable after seeing the horrific sight. Isabella, who was only fourteen at the time, did her best to keep you and Beatrice calm. At that moment as your head rested against Isa's shoulder, you realized the severity of his condition and for the first time in your life, you felt a small tear trickle into the dress of her dress.
After the man regained consciousness, he was revealed to be Francesco Rossi, the same man your brother had written about early that year. He was given permission to take revenge for the ‘humiliation’ he endured because of Leone's article. His attack wasn't just about vengeance: it was also a warning, a promise that anyone who spoke out or thought of sullying their name, would be dealt with accordingly.
After staying in the hospital for a month he was immediately shipped off to jail. He couldn't get out of this trial and was later convicted and sentenced for his charge of attempted homicide and assault with a deadly weapon. However, it seemed that the judge who worked the case had been paid off, because he was only sentenced to the minimum time for each charge, only receiving seven years with possibility of parole after 24 months.
Your mother had broken out in sobs after the sentencing. The public defender assigned to Leone's case had expected to get the maximum of 25 years and was visibly outraged at the obvious corruption taking place.
Not only did Francesco Rossi have an extensive criminal record beforehand, but he also showed no remorse during the trial: yelling obscenities during your family's victim impact statements, and interrupting the judge as he proceeded with the sentencing.
The next couple of weeks were quiet in your family home—no songs spilled from your mothers lips and the bountiful laughter that once filled the halls dried up. The only reason your mother got up most days was to take care of your twin brothers or stay in the hospital with Leone.
Although community members came and provided support by taking you and their siblings in their own homes, it never quelled the worries of your mother and father, who had slept at Leone's bedside at the hospital where he fought for his life.
Leone was loved by your community—being viewed as a martyr—and while your parents and siblings worried, people noticed that you oddly never showed any physical signs of sadness during the whole incident—not a single tear he woke up a month later.
You only noticed how differently everyone in the neighborhood started to treat you when you heard the Italian couple you were staying with, whispering about you late in the night.
“È un piccolo diavolo, non vedo amore dietro quegli occhi morti,” Mrs. Agliate mumbled to her husband in the dim light of her kitchen. Her voice was low, but heavy with distaste for your entire being. She went on and on, disgusted by your lack of tears and emotion for your brother currently in the hospital. Mr. Agliate tried to shush her but unbeknownst to them, you lay awake on the small bed with your siblings in their living room—reliving the horrificly loud gunshot and watching the blood splatter behind your eyelids.
Other small things started to happen. Whispers of neighbors when you walked home from the garden, other kids avoiding you on the playground at school, or parents refusing to take you in even though they were happy to take your siblings while your parents were at the hospital or working.
You were strange, deadpan in a way any normal 11 year old shouldn't be, especially considering the fact that her beloved older brother had just been shot and on the cusp of death.
The problem was that you couldn't bring yourself to feel anything. It wasn't like you cared much about what your classmates called you behind your back or thought of you. However, when the whispers and teasing turned physical—like pushing and tripping you in school hallways—you realized that all of it was…. extremely annoying.
It was irritating how persistent some of the local children had been calling you piccolo diavolo, or little devil. It only got worse as they became even more physical and in the process, your school uniform and books would be soiled with whatever trash they decided to throw while you walked home.
The most annoying part was that you weren't in control of the situation. You couldn't control how they decided to torment you each day and you….hated that feeling. You hated being helpless. You hated how it brought you back to the moment when your brother was shot—small, useless, helpless.
Whenever your mother was home, she would always ask why your uniform was messy after school. She would pester you for answers, but instead of answering, you would rattle off the same excuse as before, and they always worked. Although she was worried about you, your older brother's condition came first—as well as the medical bills.
You remember that evening, sitting in the little alcove window in your shared bedroom, looking down at your street where children your age played. It didn't take long for you to get bored of watching them, instead taking notice of a small group of birds sitting on the electrical lines just above. All were uniform in size, shape and color. However when a new bird showed up, just slightly differently from the others, they fought it off.
You watched them fight, fascinated by the ruthlessness of the birds. Plums of feathers fell to the pavement like ash and the only thing the new bird could do was fly away. Their chirps were almost celebratory as they resumed their places on the line.
It was almost as if a mirror had been held up to your life. It wasn’t just at school that you were outcasted, but your own community.
Compared to your perfect older siblings and your three innocent younger siblings, you were the black sheep. You weren't overly outgoing, or tried to make conversation. You just…existed, but that wouldn't cut it.
That's when you realized you needed to change. It was a hassle being different, but maybe being like everyone else—or better—would change things. You didn't have to feel helpless anymore.
•
It was surprisingly….easy, to adapt and change how others saw you. All three months of the summer after Leone's shooting were spent cozying up with the kids in your neighborhood. A few well placed smiles—or tears if it came to it—had people falling into the palm of your hand.
Your parents continued on as normal even as you began to be more outgoing, but whether they knew it was an act, alluded you. They didn't treat you any differently—mostly because they were busy with paying off the medical bills—but they always made sure to show their love for you all.
Once your brother fully recovered, he began packing to go to Dartmouth college as he originally planned. He had received a full ride for his article and planned to pursue investigative journalism to bring light to injustices at the hand of the Mafia. He couldn't bear staying quiet, even if his silence afforded him safety.
Your parents vehemently protested. They didn't want him to get himself killed after surviving his previous shooting. However, that September he snuck out in the middle of the night—only leaving a handwritten letter—and went to live in the dorms and get ready for his first semester.
Everyone had been outraged initially, but your family slowly started healing from the trauma caused by the Cosa Nostra. The grip of the great depression had also started loosening its hold on your community.
Finally in 1939 the great depression came to a close and yours and many other families were able to get out of debt, allowing for more economic mobility.
Your mother was finally able to pursue her dream of opening a bakery that sold Italian and Sicilian desserts. With the small amount of savings she had left she found suppliers and started crafting recipes. It quickly took off and became a hotspot for young couples in the area. Your father, who had worked as a construction worker for about twenty-eight years, was finally promoted to project manager. It was mostly an administrative role, but with your father aging past his prime he took the position happily.
Isabella had taken up ballet and ended up being scouted at one of the concert halls she performed at. She was currently living in the dorms at Juilliard, living out a dream she never knew she had.
Your family wouldn't have been able to send her without the generosity of your community. Each person pitched in whatever they could afford to send her off. Isabella had always gone out of her way to help those in need in your community so it was natural that everyone loved her.
She would often babysit the children of couples busy with work, or helped tutor those who were struggling in subjects like English or History. She even considered becoming a teacher before she was scouted.
Isabella was also extremely beautiful, her curly, dark brown hair, olive skin, roman nose and friendly personality made it easy for community members to part with their money.
You had also begun growing into your beauty as you made your way through high school. The game of cards you had started at 11 years old had paid off well in your favor. Nobody dared calling you ‘little devil’ anymore, instead they clamored to be in your presence. You surrounded yourself with student council meetings, tennis, curated friendships, and clubs you couldn't care to name.
The mask you created had become a state of being, a persona that had become as familiar as breathing. Each activity was a checkbox ticked off all in the pursuit of a future you curated. You had no time for petty feelings like romance unless it benefited you.
The only people you couldn't seem to fool were Mrs. Agliate, and Leone. It was odd how perceptive the woman was and you knew that if you faltered at any moment, the vultures wouldn't wait to pick at the scrapes of your ‘perfect’ reputation.
On the other hand, Leone's suspicion was more subtle. Whenever he was home to visit, it felt like you were under a microscope, each action you took felt like it was under observation. Neither of you mentioned, or even talked about it, but the feeling lingered.
In the end, your efforts paid off as you graduated top of your class and received a full ride to Dartmouth, just like your brother. You had always admired your brother's work and going to Dartmouth had always been an important destination for your future plans.
Although you grew up not feeling things the same way most people did, you still tried to have a connection with everyone in your family. You always made a point to read Leone's newest article, see Isabella's performances, do Beatrice's hair every morning before school, and take Andrea and Alessandro to the movies whenever you were free.
It was your way of showing you cared for them and in the summer of 1941, your whole family was there to listen to your valedictorian speech at your graduation.
As you walked across the same stage your brother had been shot on all those years ago a feeling of accomplishment traversing your spine. It was a satisfying experience, watching the fruits of your labor clap as you finally received your diploma.
That summer you spent as much time with your family and working before leaving. For the first time in what felt like years, your whole family was together, and it showed with how loud it was in the evenings.
With all the money flowing in, your family decided to throw a large graduation party for you at Washington Square Park the night before you were supposed to leave. Your parents hadn't been able to do the same for your older siblings due to money problems and your brother basically running away, so this was their way of compensating.
Many neighbors—close and distant—came to show their support, mostly by dropping off a small gift and a large pan of food. As you were the guest of honor, you greeted each and every person by name. You found that memorizing faces came easy to you so you used it to your disposal.
Classmates, teachers, and even the principal of your high school came down and gorged themselves on the authentic Sicilian food your mothers bakery and a local, Italian owned restaurant provided. In typical Sicilian fashion, your family partied until late into the evening. Strangers were welcomed with open arms, and curtigghiu was exchanged on the hottest topics in the neighborhood.
You mostly spent your down chatting with your best friend, Rebecca. She was a child of the couple your mother nannied for. Becca had basically been raised by your mother and when she came to visit her freshman year of high school, the two of you hit it off.
“You'd think that four years of playing tennis would give you some stamina, but here you are,” she teased, laughing at how flushed your face had gotten. A lot of your admirers had made sure to pester you throughout the party: asking for dances and the like. Soon one of your underclassmen dragged you back to the dance floor. All Becca did was wave at you as your new partner whisked you away.
She giggled, amused at your continued indifference to romance. You on the other hand felt tempted to dig a heel into the boy's foot as he slowly inched his hand lower than what was appropriate. You almost did, until you noticed Leone watching you from the side of the dance floor.
Excusing yourself from your dance partner—who reluctantly let go of your hand—you made your way over to where he stood.
“Hai crisciutu tantu Lia,” he said fondly, pulling you into a gentle side hug, secretly providing you a damp handkerchief. You immediately took it and whipped the boy's sweat off your hands. You were glad you wouldn't have to whip them on your new baby blue shirt waist dress.
Leone had grown into his frame after college, looking exactly like your father when he was young—aside from the curly hair. He towered over most, standing at 5 '11 and while he spent most of his time sitting behind a desk, his frame was lean and athletic.
Many women at the party commented on his handsome face, but the ring in his finger drove most of his admirers away.
Your sister in-law, Emilia—who was Italian-American—sat on a chair not too far away. She was the assistant of one of the senior journalists at the New York Times and the both of them hit it off. As an Italian-American she had grown up surrounded by culture of both worlds, yet it was Leone that helped her dig deeper into her heritage.
That was almost three years ago, and now they were about to have their first child in less than a month.
“You've grown much more than I ever will,” you teased, standing on your toes to imitate his height. Before you could trip over yourself, he pushed your shoulders down so you could stand normally. He laughed at your childish action and led you away from the dance platform.
“Is it wrong of me to check up on my sister?” he joked, continuing down a less populated trail. You laughed in response, years of pretending has taught you a lot about social cues. Before you could speak, he interrupted.
“It's just…I was worried about you,” he said, pausing and choosing his next words carefully, “I know that you've been…acting like everything's normal and you seemed so tired out there.”
That stopped you in your tracks. Has your expression revealed it? No, it couldn't have. Your cheeks were aching with all the smiling you had been doing all evening. Your act was perfect, seamless in the way Hollywood actors could never replicate.
“Cecilia, please listen to me,” he said, placing his hand on your shoulder to grab your attention. You smiled again, biting your tongue to stop a deranged giggle from spilling out. Your hunch had been correct.
“I have no idea what you're talking about,” you said lightly, throwing out a baffled chuckle as you shook your head, but you knew from his expression he wasn't buying it, “pretending? What do you even mean—”
“Lia, It's okay, you don't need to deny it. I'm your brother, I would never hurt you.”
By the way he said it, you knew he was being sincere. Looking him in the eye, you listened to what he had to say.
“I've known for a while now that you've been…like this, but I've done some surveys and you're not alone in this,” he began placing a hand on the crown of your head. “I'm worried that you'll burn yourself out if you continue acting like everything's fine.”
“What do you suggest I do then? Go back to being the piccolo diavolo?” you said blandly, dropping the facade. Why bother to place the veneer on with him knowing?
“I just want you to know you have someone in your corner. Dartmouth is far from Greenwich and you've never been away from home long,” he said, pulling you into a loving hug.
“I just don't want you feeling overwhelmed or lashing out like earlier.”
He wasn't wrong. Recently you've been getting more…violent urges.
You returned the hug, genuinely feeling comfort in his presence and words. He was the only one to ever notice your inward dilemma and want to help you. It made sense since he caught on so fast, afterall he was an investigative journalist.
“Has anyone else noticed,” you questioned as you both pulled back from the hug.
“No, I don't think so. I guess your personality changed so gradually that I only noticed after coming back for Christmas break during my first semester,” he said, chuckling to himself in remembrance. “It was like meeting a stranger wearing your skin. It was just…jarring.”
You smiled slightly at how he pretended to shiver as if he was getting the heebie-jeebies all over again. He laughed and the two of you walked back to where the party was held. Leone had always done his best to show his love after the shooting.
Even years later he still feared being killed due to his career. The district attorney had cracked down on violence against reporters and chances of him being killed were lower than ever, but there was still the possibility of a rogue mafioso acting out.
Before you could return to the throng of people, Leone spoke up.
“If possible, could you call me every two weeks? I've started researching your…condition and want to be able to share any findings with you in the future.”
You nodded, squeezing his hand in agreement as you slowly put up the veneer again. With your conformation, he slowly let go of your hand and walked over to where Emilia sat. You watched for a couple of moments as he placed a kiss on her head, exchanging a few words before going off to grab a couple more Bonèt cakes she had been eating all evening.
You spent the next couple of hours talking with classmates and enjoyed a few more dances with Isabella as a band—which was really just a group of neighbors who enjoyed traditional Sicilian and Italian music—played late into the night.
After your talk with Leone, you felt lighter on your feet. You no longer were alone with your secret and could openly confide with someone who wouldn't judge you. It was liberating and your smiles became a bit more genuine for the rest of the night.
•
The next morning you woke up early, staring at your bedroom ceiling and contemplating your future. Isabella was sharing a room with you and Beatrice since Leone and Emilia were staying in her old room. You could hear their soft breathing as the neighborhood roused from a night of deep sleep.
Everything was quiet and you didn't have to wear the ‘mask’ at the moment, yet a pit had still formed within your stomach. Leone was right in pointing out that you've never been far from home and while you knew you could adapt to the new environment, it would be jarring to be by yourself. The thought just made you more determined to play your cards right.
Your thoughts drifted to your childhood. Memories of playing dressup with Isabella, helping Bea ice skate for the first time, and baseball games with your brothers flew around in your head, but your reminiscing was interrupted as your mother burst through the door.
“Buongiorno picciriddi,” your mother exclaimed, but all she got was groans from your sisters. Turning on the light she yelled louder, “Isa, Lia, Bea arvìgghiati¡”
She had prepared a large breakfast for the whole family to share. It was a mix of Sicilian and American breakfast foods. The kitchen smelled heavenly and everyone clamored to get into their respective seats.
Before everyone could dig in, your father stood up to give a small speech.
"Today, we celebrate Cecilia's success as she takes the next step in her future,” He said, tearing up as he continued, “I would like to say that I am proud of you Cecilia, it has been an honor watching you grow into the woman you are today.”
You smiled, face flushed as you moved over to hug your father, “Grazzi papà, you have done so much for use. It's only natural that I make you proud,” you replied, placing a kiss to his cheek. Moments with your family were always the easiest to decipher. He chuckled, ruffling your hair and with that, you all began to eat.
You only place a couple arancini, scrambled eggs and a sausage roll on your plate as you didn't want to get sick on the six hour long train rides. The food was delicious as per usual, but you couldn't quite place the emotions you were currently feeling. It was dulled, muted like the sound of a radio underwater—you knew it was there, but couldn't quite place what was being communicated.
“You're feeling melancholy," Isabella said as she helped you wash the dishes, “I felt the same when I was moving into my dorms, even though they're not too far away. You'll feel better soon.” She places a kiss on your forehead before returning to her work. You loved how understanding she could be.
After breakfast your family piled onto a bus to get to the nearest train station. Your mother was in tears as she watched you hauled your two suitcases and duffle bag out of the bus. Wiping her tears, you kissed her cheek and gave her the tightest hug you could manage. Each one of your family members received a hug—Beatrice's hug took the longest as she couldn't bear to separate from you. With one last wave, you boarded your 6:00am train to get to Hanover.
The train ride had been quiet with most of your time spent reading or watching the sun peak over the trees and hills of the rural areas in Rhode Island. It was very different from what you were used to: the concrete jungle was all that you knew. However, the natural beauty of nature was something you could appreciate.
After about four hours traveling, you got to Boston and boarded another train to get to Hanover in New Hampshire—which would take about two more hours. Taking two trains was cheaper than taking a straight shot to your destination, however it was a bit annoying traversing the Boston train station. The cost of both train rides came out to be around eight dollars, which was just in the budget you allotted yourself from your savings
The sun was up by the time you made it to Hanover, New Hampshire at 12:38pm. You exited the train station and made your way to the shuttle stop that would take you to Dartmouth's campus at 1pm.
As you walked to the stop you took the time to look at the beautiful scenery. It was a small, quintessential, New England styled college town housing many families and students alike. Some facets reminded you of Greenwich, like the many brick buildings, but unlike New York, Hanover had a variety of greenery and was much quieter than what you were used to. The streets were clean, allowing couples and families to walk and enjoy the warm afternoon.
You watched the people walking by—specifically, a young, Sicilian man around your age walking the opposite direction a few feet in front of you caught your eye. He looked like any other college student you've happened to pass once you arrived, but something about his presence reeled you in.
Maybe it was his delicate features or the way his olive skin glowed under the sun, but the urge to find out more about him was almost uncontrollable. You had to stop yourself from staring. But, you couldn't just go up and speak to him without probable cause.
Looking down at your suitcase, your eyes caught on the loose handle that had been bothering you. From the handful of glances you got, he seemed to have a more withdrawn disposition but you knew that placing yourself in a compromised position would draw him in.
Once you were a couple paces away, you subtly ripped the leather of the handle allowing it to fall to the ground. Clothing and undergarments spilled onto the sidewalk for all to see. You yelped in faux embarrassment, frantically diving down to pick up your belongings. A curtain of your dark hair covered your face, adding the finishing detail to the pretty little picture you were painting.
Your gamble had worked as you heard footsteps stop and a strong pair of hands appeared in the corner of your eye, picking up one of your cardigans. You looked up and were met with beautiful dark brown eyes.
They reminded you of a doe, wide and surprised as if he hadn't expected to make eye contact. His dark hair was wind kissed and looked extremely soft up close. You wondered what it would feel like to card your fingers through it.
He flashed you a tentative, almost shy smile as you grabbed a skirt just in front of him. You breathed in, so subtly that you only got a faint hint of his cologne. Your heart rate kicked up and your fingers started to tremble ever so slightly.
He smelt clean, not in the way of cleaning products or air fresheners, but of something so distinctively him. Something so personalized that it couldn't be replicated. There was a hint of spice to it. A sharp addictive quality that you've never felt before. It was odd how easily this man that you've never met before had caused the once composed, flawless persona you portrayed to quack so easily.
You scrambled to throw all your clothing into the case. You weren't used to being so frazzled but before you could plan out your next five steps, you felt a warm hand ensnare yours. They were soft—smooth unlike your fathers—with the privilege of not having to do physical labor.
“Here, let me do it, you seem flustered,” he said gently, and maybe you imagined it, but you swore his thumb caressed your hand. You stood up, watching intently as he finished getting all the clothes into the case and clasped the latches. He soon joined you in standing but instead of handing you your suitcase, he tilted his head inquisitively.
“Where are you headed,” he asked, smiling once again—probably at how flushed your face was.
“The Dartmouth shuttle stop,” you said with a slight wobble in your tone while you settled back into your seamless persona.
“Are you an incoming freshman?” he asked as the two of you began walking. It seemed that he knew the way there as he led the way for the two of you. A warm breeze trickled by as the two of you fell in step with each other. The trees provided a nice cover from the sun as well.
“I am, I start the first week of September. I just got here from New York actually,” you said sweetly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “my name's Cecilia, thank you for your help by the way.
“It wouldn't be right to just leave you like that,” he said chuckling as he continued, “I also go to Dartmouth. Usually a lot of freshmen start showing up in town around this time.”
That was perfect. A commonanality anchoring the two of you would mean a chance to see him again, but you would need an actual name if you were to look him up in the phone book.
“Well maybe I'll get to see you on campus. By the way, what year are you in?”
The rest of the walk to the stop continued as such, you gently probing him for information and while giving hints in return. You found that he was also from New York—most likely raised in Hell's Kitchen if your observations were correct—and was currently studying to become a mathematics professor.
He didn't seem to have much passion for the subject and when you tried to probe him for more he avoided answering. It was like a shadow had fallen over his delicate features so you distracted him by questioning if there was a tennis team you could join, even though you already knew the answer.
He was like a puzzle you couldn't find the prices to: a picture you so desperately wanted to see.
You had been so focused on probing him that you didn't realize you had arrived at your stop. You were tempted to tell him it was the wrong station, but you didn't know the area well enough to lie confidently. It was a shame you couldn't spend more time with him.
He carefully placed your suitcase on the bench in the little stop shelter, making sure the latches wouldn't burst open again. How sweet of him.
“Well, if that's it I'll be heading off,” he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. But he lingered, making sure to check whether you had made it on time to your stop. He was effortless in his temptation, yet all you could do was thank him once again as you watched him leave: his back growing smaller as he walked out the same way he had appeared.
•
For the last two weeks of August, you spent your time becoming acquainted with the campus and town of Hanover. However you always find your mind drawn back to him. It was easy to deny how your eyes betrayed you, carefully searching the faces of booth attendants at freshman orientation. Each empty smile a recruiter threw your way didn't compare to the small one he had given you.
You chalked it up to wayward curiosity, lingering even as Becca chatted your ear off while you walked to your dorm. Her excitement was almost infectious as she gushed about the social service club you both signed up for. You humored her, but not for the same reasons. You were excited to climb the social ladder, turning your new campus into your playing field.
Becca just so happened to be a piece in that. She was practically a sister to you, but also helped you blend in naturally. You weren't in the habit of keeping people close, but she was an exception.
It was also quite easy convincing her to apply to Dartmouth even though she wanted to go to school on the west coast.
Becca was always a bit stubborn, but you knew that going off by herself wouldn't be any good for her. She was overzealous in her need to get away from her protective parents, but going so far would only isolate her.
At least at Dartmouth, she could spread her wings away from her parents' grasp, all the while staying close to loved ones in New York.
After orientation the next couple of weeks blended together. Classes, club meetings, student senate voting, and new friendships all overlapped.
You of course went through the motions naturally, slipping into your ‘all America girl’ persona as you got to know your professors and upperclassmen. It was irritating how they acted as if you were a child, treating your suggestions for charity fundraisers as inconsequential before implementing them during the next meeting.
You had really wanted to dig your perfectly manicured thumbs into the Social Service President’s eyes at that moment—Helen was a real piece of work.
The only sources of entertainment you were able to enjoy was tennis and conversation with Becca. It was like she had a sixth sense for when you were annoyed, even though you never showed it. She always did her best to cheer you up, often playing your favorite record while she braided your hair.
Tennis was also an important part of your life. It was the only reliable way you let out some steam without seeming odd.
The burn of your muscles as you lunged and the crack of your racket hitting the ball was beautiful in its ruthlessness. You were brutal with your serves, demolishing each and every opponent you played against. Every receive was flawless. Each twist of your racket is precise. Even though you weren't captain, your skill was admired by all on your team.
It was the one time you allowed your inner self to peek through as you stood on your half of the court.
It was liberating, you didn't care about the praise your skill brought you, only the raw, physical high it afforded you, though recently, you've felt that even this didn't assuage your bland reality.
That was until you saw him again.
You had gone to the library after one of your calls with your Leone. He had suggested finding a book that detailed your condition—something called psychopathy according to him—but when you saw his silhouette in the corner of your eye, the thought immediately left your mind.
He was sitting at one of the study tables with a flurry of papers strewn about in front of him. He was focused, pen scribbling notes down into a notebook as he tapped his finger against the table softly. Your pulse stalled for a moment, reeling at his sudden appearance.
You were glad that the library traffic had died down as you quickly found a spot among the shelves. Gliding your fingers against book spines, you pretended to look for a book when in reality, you were drinking in his profile.
A dark brown wool overcoat rested on the back of the chair he sat on. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up, exposing his olive skin and the angular muscles of his arms. His eyes were covered by his hair, but his plump lips curled around words you couldn't hear.
Only then did you notice a young woman you recognized from your Key club sitting….directly next to him.
Why was she sitting so close?
Are they dating?
Have they slept together—?
You continued down the bookshelf to find the one you had been recommended: you hadn't intended to take long.
It was just a coincidence that you saw him at the library. It also just so happened that you watched the girl—her name was Wendy—pick up her books and leave at 6:13pm. It was by chance that the both of you stayed until 8:34pm before you watched him collect his papers and leave.
It was just a coincidence that you just so happened to pick up the pen that he had placed between his teeth. You hadn't intended on keeping it but what was the harm. You could always return it to him the next time you saw him.
•
It seemed that fate, or whatever god you didn't believe in, had been on your side recently.
It was like a switch had been flicked and whenever you were around common areas on campus, he was around.
That's how you accumulated…fragments of him.
It had started with the expensive pen: which you didn't dare use, instead displaying it with your other pens on your little desk in your dorm room. You didn't want the ink to run dry.
Next came the scarf he had forgotten in the mess hall. You and a group of friends had decided to have dinner that night when you spotted him. He was among a group of upperclassmen yet he sat on the outskirt of the chaos.
At first glance, he seemed introverted, but you knew him better. Even when he didn't speak, he still had a grip on the direction of the conversation: always being a step ahead.
You considered going up to talk to him, but you were concerned how you would react. It was too early and you wouldn't be able to seem normal.
If you were going to speak a word to him, it would be on your own terms. You would have control of every variable to make sure the second meeting would go perfectly.
“Cecilia, where you listening?” Becca whispered, lightly nudging your knee underneath the table. She always pulled you out when you got too deep in your thoughts.
“Ah, yes I guess I'm just tired,” you lied, rubbing the back of your neck as you chuckled. In reality you were calculating the best way to break into his apartment start an interaction. “Calculus has been really draining.” It hadn't. It had been awfully easy.
“Me too! Wendy was telling me about a tutor she'd been seeing recently, right Wendy?” Becca said, leaning forward to see where she sat on your right. You had slowly started drawing her into your web to find out her relationship with the man you had been watching.
Wendy perked up at her name being called. She was a small thing with shoulder length blond hair and muddy green eyes. While her appearance made you think otherwise, she was actually quite talkative.
“Oh yeah! I get tutored in math by this one upperclassman on Saturday afternoons,” she replied, chewing as she spoke, “He's actually sitting over there,” she said waving at the exact man you had seen her with a couple days ago. He must've seen her because he shot a small wave back before turning into his own table conversation.
“Oh…what's his name?” you asked smoothly, your smile growing colder as you sat relaxed in your chair. However If one were to look any closer, they would notice how tense your shoulders were and they way your right hand gripped your spoon too tightly.
“Michael Corleone, I think. He's a bit withdrawn, but really nice once you get to know him,” she replies absentmindedly, as if the syllables she just muttered hadn't changed the trajectory of your life. “If you need tutoring from him, I can give you his phone number. He's so stinking rich that he never asks for payment afterwards.”
You watched her intently as she tore out a piece of paper from her journal and scribbled down a number. You had already memorized it by the time you folded it into your purse. It was the perfect way to naturally speak to him.
Becca had really helped you out with this one. You'd have to get her that lipstick she'd been fawning over last weekend.
You spent the rest of the evening humoring the girls, but when you noticed him—Michael leaving with a couple friends, all you wanted to do was follow. That's when you noticed a bundle of fabric fall out of his bag.
You excused yourself to your dormroom, walking calmly towards the exit where you found a black, well worn scarf. Swiftly, you picked it up and left the dining hall to your dorm room where you stuffed the glove with the rest of your artifacts.
After that, many miscellaneous fragments found themselves in your possession. A discarded button, a hair comb—with a dark strand still attached, and even a sweat soaked wife beater he had shoved in his wchool bag. Your little shrine soon started to overflow and yet you had still refused to speak to him.
You had the chance when he came in to help revise the Social Service Club's budget, but the minute you heard his soft voice, your composure cracked—heart palpitating in your chest as you attempted to step closer to him.
A searing heat crept up your spine to the hollow of your throat where it threatened to spill an uncontrolled fit of deranged giggles. They would have certainly been unleashed if it weren't for Becca handing you a plate of food.
You slide on the mask again focusing on the sound of her voice. Showing embarrassment, you took the plate but in the moment it was the familiar heat flooding between your thighs that mortified you the most.
Each item was like a placeholder, a temporary high that allowed you to keep a piece of him close.
But whenever he was in your presence, the moment his name was even mentioned, you faltered. It was humiliating how one man could break down your barriers without even trying, yet something about being disarmed, about giving up the reins of control was so addictive that you hardly cared.
(You reveled in the sensations, taking pleasure in the threads of his being. You had never experienced such a strong fixation on someone like this….)
•
Saturday mornings always started with your regular phone call with Leone. His research had stalled at the moment, but the both of you had an enjoyable conversation: updating each other on life. Your niece had been growing quickly, and was no longer the same size as the pictures they sent you when she was first born.
You were standing by a telephone hung on the wall, just outside the dining hall. It was the closest and most private phone to your dorm room so you made it a habit to call before breakfast.
The temperature had started to drop as winter finally settled in—even though it was still October, snow had started to fall.
Small clouds of vapor escaped your mouth while you spoke, wishing Leone and Emilia a nice day before hanging up.
The silence was all encompassing and for a brief moment, you felt vacant. The violent urges and responsibilities of your day to day life were blessedly distant.
‘Just a few moments,’ you thought to yourself, ‘just a few moments to myself is all I nee—’
Only for someone to clear their throat behind you. You shifted, expecting Carson to have come back for your number. He had been bothering you a lot as of late, cat-calling you during tennis matches and attempting to join the clubs you were in to get closer to you.
“You're Cecilia, right?” said a voice not too far behind you, it was more subdued compared to Carson’s, “my professor recommended me to you for some advice.”
Your body reacted before your mind could catch its bearings. You knew that voice. It was the one you imagined right before bed, holding the scarf up to your nose while indulging in your fantasies.
You turned around, smiling evenly before you spoke, "That would be me, can I help you?”
Your eyes immediately honed in on Michael Corleone. His face was lightly flushed by the wind: a light shade of red that looked perfect on him. Small snowflakes dotted his dark hair that was blown through and messy from the wind.
He stood a couple feet away as if he were trying to respect your privacy. His hands were in his pocket, the other holding a folder of papers. His posture was awkward, borderline shy as he began to speak.
“I have a service project I'm working on and my professor suggested going to you for some advice,” he replied, handing you the folder.
Outwardly, your hands were as steady, taking the folder and flipping through the pages of neatly scrawled notes. On the inside, your once calculated plan of approach had fragmented into an obsessive mess of longing and deep desire. You wondered if he remembered you from all those months ago.
It only got worse as he took another step forward, close enough for your body to become subconsciously aware of how near he was.
His cologne invaded your nostrils, breaking your already threadbare sense of resolve further.
“It's a good rough draft—the partnership with the local high school is nice—but it needs a bit of work,” you fibbed. A necessary lie. In reality, the draft was already pretty strong with only a few banal mistakes, but you might as well take advantage of this opportunity.
“It's still early, how ‘bout we discuss details over breakfast?”
He agreed, leading the two of you to a more secluded table before starting to work. By throwing yourself into work, you mitigated the effect he had on you.
You loved being the center of Michael's attention. His dark eyes speared yours whenever you looked up, gazing at you so intently that you couldn't help but quiver. You wanted to freeze this moment in time: to relive it again and again till the end of time. Watching the way his soft features scrunched as he thought was more invigorating than any tennis match.
He absentmindedly chewed on the cap of his pen, a light sheen of saliva coating the surface.
You would have to…borrow that later.
Michael was setting up a little student-led program, creating a tutoring system through the local high school to help struggling students bring their grades up. It was one of the prerequisites needed for him to graduate and become a professor. It allowed high schoolers to gain volunteer hours as tutors and help him gain teaching skills in the process. It was well planned overall and you made sure to offer any help—if needed—in the future.
You never really cared about charities, volunteering, or fundraisers. All the praise you got from working in the Social Service club rolled off your skin like sweat after a tennis match, never fully penetrating your carefully curated persona. Today however, you were glad you didn't quit that club.
“—those are just some suggestions of what I would do, it's a really good proposal,” you said, voice sounding steadier than you felt.
Breakfast had long since ended. Most of the students roaming about were leaving to study or run some errands. You weren't going to push your luck today, so you passed back the papers you had been examining.
“Thank you again for the help,” he said in return, gathering up his papers before returning them to his folder. “By the way, did you ever join the tennis team?” he asked, giving you a knowing look as he leaned back in his chair.
He remembers me. Of course he remembers. We were meant for each other.
You giggled, covering your mouth: gentle and demure, all the while biting back the more unhinged laugh threatening your vocal cords. “I'm surprised you remembered that,”
“It was definitely a striking first impression,” he teased, “I'm surprised I haven't seen you around campus.”
I've been avoiding you. You disturb yet fascinated me in ways I cannot explain.
“I've been so busy with different clubs that I barely leave campus—or my dorm room—at times,” you said, why would you leave when everything you needed was sitting right in front of you?
“You haven't explored Hanover yet?”
“I mean, I did a little before orientation, but haven't had the time since.”
“I know a nice restaurant in town that I think you'd like, would you like to go with me? Not today I mean, but in the future.”
Your ears began to ring, mind spiraling into obsessive compulsion. Say yes. It's obvious he feels the same. God, he had no clue who he was letting into his life.
He looked almost hopeful as he looked at you, tapping his pointer finger on the table. A small yet adorable smile sat on his lips as he awaited your answer.
You almost wanted to say no. You couldn't risk exposing how utterly obsessed you were with him. It would end you if anyone—let alone him—found out, but as you were about to decline, a sudden compulsion to possess, to take up space in him like he did for you, took over. You wanted him to love you. To go each and every day living and breathing for you.
There was no avoiding it now, you were too deep in it to refuse the pull. He's the one who asked you, so no harm: right?
“Sure, what day is best for you?”
•
Everything had fallen into place after that fateful day.
It was like taking a breath after being held underwater against your will. It was freeing, not having to deny the feelings you held for Michael anymore.
The initial meeting at Clines Restaurant was like a dream come true. The atmosphere was comforting, almost reminding you of New York, and soon the meeting developed into a weekly affair.
He never let you pay, always covering the tab before walking the both of you back to the shuttle bus. He always went out of his way to make sure you got to your dorm room safely even though he lived off campus.
Michael was never loud, or particularly outgoing, yet the conversations the two of you had were always interesting: topics varying from New York, Isabella's recent rise in fame, or even anecdotes about his family, when he was in a good mood.
You found out he had a sister—Connie—the same age as you and how his mother was a fan of music just like your own mother. Even stories about his brothers and father interested you to no end.
He made everything so easy when you were with him, even when you were fighting your inner desire to smash your lips against his and ruin him for another woman who tried.
Interactions never stopped at Clines, instead leaking into campus whenever either of you spotted each other, making sure to greet the other as you went about your day.
However it seemed that some people had begun to notice.
“You seem awfully…chumy with that Corleone guy earlier,” said a voice behind you in the locker room. The tennis teams had held its monthly match between the men's and women's teams. It was meant to foster camaraderie between the two, but in reality it was just a way for the men to flirt with the women and vice versa. Nobody either side ever took the matches very seriously, at least till you stepped on the court.
In past matches you often let the men win, not wanting to bring extra attention to yourself. However, Michael had decided to come to view the match after you mentioned it to him last week. There was no half-assing anything when he was around. It was all or nothing.
You ended the day winning all four of your matches against the opposing team, causing a stir among the stands.
Normally you were a beast on the court, but today it had been as if you were possessed, systematically dismantling your opponent's resolve before ending the round with a devastating serve. The cheers were oppressive, clouding your mind, but you persisted.
Michael had somehow made his way down from the packed stands, giving you a little Keggy the Keg—Dartmouth's mascot—plushie in a tennis skirt. It was definitely from the campus giftshop, ugly and cheaply made, yet you adored it as it smelt faintly of Michael's cologne.
“Nice gift Mike, you give this to all the girls you know?” you teased, giggling as you toyed with the plushie in your hand. You did your best to keep your sweat off of it to preserve his scent.
He laughed, attempting to take the plushie back, but you moved away before he could grab it. His cool hand brushed against your forearm, causing goosebumps to prickle across the expanse of your skin: you shivered silently.
“You seem to like it well enough. You obviously don't want to give it back,” he joked, shoving his hands back into his trouser pockets. He held that mischievous look about him as a smirk spread across his lips. It was almost like he knew what you were feeling.
“You already gave it to me! You can't take it back now,” you goaded, placing the plushie in your duffle bag. “Besides, I deserve it after winning all my matches.”
“Mhm, definitely,” he hummed lowly, taking a stray strand of hair and tucking it behind your ear. You hoped that the heat in your cheeks would be mistaken for exertion instead of attraction. “I think you also deserve a nice dinner. Want to stop by Clines later?”
“That sounds nice, tennis always works up my appetite.”
The both of you decided to meet after you freshened up, leaving you to collect your things. You felt over the moon: four matches won and a gift from Michael got rid of any train of thought you had before.
But It seemed some of the girls on your team were intimated after your performance.
“He was just congratulating me on my consecutive wins,” you say, whipping the sweat off of your brow with a towel before throwing it in the laundry bin. “Besides, he's like that with all of his friends.”
“Yeah, maybe his bed-friends,” she said, scoffing behind her hand. A couple girls snickered while a few heads turned to your direction, curious to see your reaction to the obvious bait she was dishing.
Your eye twitched subtly as you looked at yourself in your locker mirror.
This skanky bitch doesn't know who she was messing with.
You wondered how she would react if everyone on campus found out she was getting down with Mr. Brady—the girls tennis coach, married with a daughter in the grade below her.
You reveled in the prospects of her public humiliation, a wave of euphoria trickled down your spine, but you didn't have time for that right now.
There were many ways to end this tramps goading. You could smile like you always did, laugh it off and move on, but that would mean giving her control: you would rather die than allow her a sliver of power over you.
Or, you could cut off her tongue with a butchering knife attempt to instigate a fight with some sympathy tears, but nobody in this locker room of vipers would willingly take your side. Tears tended to work better on men anyways.
They all wanted to see you—the definition of perfection—fall, shamelessly hoping you would falter in the moment.
You'd have to nip this in the bud.
You inhaled through your nose, using your iron clad resolve to end her life this whole altercation.
“Well, I guess everyone sees the world through their own…habits,” you said sweetly, but the sharpening smile on your lips said otherwise, “I mean, why else would you assume something like that if you haven't been indulging?”
The locker room went silent, the only thing you could hear was the buzzing thoughts of different ways to kill this hussy. The tension had sky rocketed, smothering any form of conversation. Dozens of eyes watched you and the girls every move, eating up the tension like a pack of wolves.
It was as if you could hear their thoughts:
‘Who would cave first?’ But you already knew the answer.
You had already won.
She floundered, face growing red with mortification as she tried to recover from your unexpected retort.
“At least I'm not the one acting like I'm above the rest of the student body, Little Miss Perfect—what a suck up,” she scoffed, but a nickname like that meant nothing to you. You didn't give a shit what others thought of you.
Her fate had been sealed the moment she decided to cross an apathetic bitch like you.
You turned to her, taking a singular step forward as you started down into her eyes.
“Confidence often looks like arrogance to those who lack it. Maybe do some introspection before our next match. You could definitely benefit from it,” you replied, leaning by her ear, whispering so only she could hear “By the way, tell Mr. Brady I said hi. I'm sure the two of you will be very…busy tonight.”
You almost laughed at the pathetic expression that bloomed on her face. All the blood in her face had drained, leaving an ashen husk to stand in front of you. Her eyes were wide with fear and unsteady tears filled her water line. It looked like she was about to cry.
You took a moment to admire your work, another victory to tack on to your belt before you left the locker room behind, leaving murmured gossip in your wake.
You had dinner with Michael and couldn't afford to be late.
•
“So, how have you been? You haven't been answering my calls as of late,” Leone questioned, after you finally managed to call him.
“Sorry, I've been…busy,” you said, void of any emotion. This call was a waste of time.
“We both know that's not true,” he said, voice firm but never accusing. He could probably tell how out of it you were by the sound of your voice. “I know winter break started over there. Mamà and Papà are wondering when you're coming home. You missed Christmas yaknow.”
“I don't want them seeing me like this,” you said, looking at your reflection in your dorm room mirror. You looked tired, drained in a way you had never been before.
“You gotta tell me what's wrong if you want any help Lia,” he said, pleading with you to open up. “Is it the thing with Pearl Harbor? You don't need to worry about that. I highly doubt they'll attack the mainland.”
You almost broke when he mentioned it, reminded of what you could potentially lose. Your eyes burned as you brought the scarf up to your nose, but the scent of his cologne had long since faded.
A couple days after your tennis match, on December 7th, the Japanese had launched a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. Michael had been away at his parents home, celebrating his fathers birthday.
Normally you wouldn't give a shit about something like war, but it was when Michael informed you he was enlisting, over the phone, everything changed.
Your breath stalled. It was as if your world had crumbled around you.
The mask slipped, allowing a more genuine side of yourself to come forward.
You had done everything in your power to convince him not to enlist, pleading with him to see logic and realize he would likely die, but he didn't listen: fueled by patriotism and the desire to protect his country, he left, leaving you a letter that detailed his unit and hopes to stay connected.
That had been days ago and ever since, you hadn't left your room unless you were going to the bathroom or to eat when Becca left to go back to New York.
She was extremely worried at your sudden decline and even missed her first train to stay with you, but she couldn't get out of her family plans. She urged you to go home and see your family but you didn't want to be seen in such a vulnerable state.
You had made sure to see her train off before collapsing in bed. She had left on the 20th and it was currently the 26th. This definitely wasn't your proudest moment.
It was like all the life had been sucked out of you when Michael left, leaving only a shell of what once was. You couldn't bring yourself to do anything: only spending your time drafting letters that would never be sent. He obviously didn't care for you if he could leave so easily.
You were glad that school had closed not too long after Michael had dropped out.
“Whatevers going on, just know it's going to pass,” Leone said, trying his hardest to be optimistic and give you some encouragement, “find a way to overcome it.”
You sat there for a moment allowing his words to sink in. It gave you an idea: if you couldn't be around Michael, get close to his family.
He had mentioned that his father was holding another birthday to celebrate with friends on the 30th this month, even hinting at inviting you to come and meet his family before he enlisted.
It might be a bit late, but if you could get in somehow, you could befriend his sister or mother and have a direct line to him.
The only problem was finding the exact address, all you knew was that they lived in New York but you would make it work, you refused to give up.
“Tell mamà I'm headed home on the earliest train,” you said, sitting up from your bed.
“Wait, are you gonna tell me what's wrong—” you cut him off by hanging up. You got up and neatly folded the scarf, socks and pen into your suitcase. Then, you grabbed the Christmas presents you wrapped for everyone and stuffed them into your tennis duffle bag. You already had a suitcase stuffed with your clothing from earlier in the month, so you quickly left for the nearest train station.
The long train ride home allowed you to clear your head. There was no way you'd give up on Michael, if you had to enlist you would, but only if your plan with his family didn't work. You wouldn't mind putting your life on hold.
You had finally started coming back to your senses about an hour into your trip. It was late and most of the train car was empty, allowing for you to let down your guard. The quiet atmosphere allowed you to empty your thoughts, welcoming the blessed silence once more. You used this time to look up the names and addresses of each Corleone in the newest release of the New York phone book.
One Vito Corleone was registered to a home in Staten Island in the Todt Hill area. A few other Corleone's were registered to live there but that was the least of your concern. If you showed up the day of the party with some authentic Sicilian pastries, you were sure that you could find a way inside. Maybe you could pretend to be a delivery girl. You just need to find out the time of the party and you would be set.
By the time your train stopped in Greenwich Village, your mind had been made up. Before that, you would need to go home first.
It was practically 2am yet the moment you set foot in your home, your mother dragged you into a tight hug.
“Cecilia! Hai n'idèa di quantu sugnu statu prioccupatu?” she scolded, breaking the hug and pulling your ear as she spoke, “You miss Christmas and don't call in almost two weeks—tu scemu! I have to ask Leone to call for me!”
“Mi dispiaci mamma, ouch! Sorry, I—s-someone I knew enlisted and…I guess I was mourning even though he's alive,” you said, voice faltering as you followed the hand that pitched your ear. Your mother immediately let go and held your face, her warm hand rubbing the apple of your cheek.
“This person must've been quite special, no?” She questioned talking your hands into her own. You nodded, face flushing as fake tears threatened to spill.
“La mia figghia, why didn't you come home?,” she questioned, gently placing a kiss on your cheek. “is he a boyfriend of yours—”
“Mamà—” you interrupted, not wanting to get into your situation with Michael. You understand how Isabella felt when she brought her first boyfriend home.
“Let me tease you, you're always so composed,” she said, laughing as she led you to the stairs. “Anyways, go to bed, we can talk in the morning. Bona notti Lia.”
“Bona notti, Mamà,” you said, climbing the stairs to enter your childhood bedroom.
•
With the morning came your family's questioning. Your mother, ever the gossiper, exposed that you had been ‘bedridden’ in grief after your lover had enlisted in the marines. Beatrice ate the story up, asking what your lover looked like and if college was like the movies she saw with her friends. You tried to deny her retelling—even though it was basically true—but it seemed like everyone had already accepted it as fact.
You ended up receiving all of your presents that day, in return passing the ones you bought in Hanover. You bought your father a watch and your mother got a new rosary. Andre and Alessandro got a new train set to share, Bea got a necklace, Isa got a pair of pointe shoes, and Leone and Emilia got a reservation to a spa. It had been a bit pricey, but the monthly stipend that came with your scholarship helped.
Spending time with everyone in your family—and getting to know your little niece—had been a much needed change from the often shallow, vindictive life of college. It was like taking in a breath of fresh air, even though the air in New York wasn't the best.
With you back in the neighborhood, you saw many of your neighbors and children you used to play with. It was also odd seeing the once youthful faces of distant relatives and family friends grow more wrinkled and become gray with age. You imagined yourself at that age alongside Michael, watching your grandchildren play: it was something you had never considered before.
Before Michael, you had always assumed you would be a spinster for the rest of your life. Allowing another person—let alone a man—have access to your body in its most vulnerable state, unnerves you to no end. Sexual desire was also an alien feeling, never once had you felt a pull to a man or woman. The only exception to this rule was if you somehow found yourself marrying someone who could help provide for you.
With Michael, that could all change. You could see a future with you and him as equals, finally allowing someone to see your true self; but that would only happen if your plan worked.
That afternoon—during prime business hours—you called a number registered under the name Tom Hagen. You assumed he was a house keeper that lived on the compound so he was your best bet, even if you didn't like leaving things up to chance.
“Hello, this is Tom Hagen speaking,” said a voice through the speaker of the phone. You had called from a phone booth a neighborhood away just to make sure you couldn't be traced.
“Hello, this is Marìa, we were wondering the best time to drop off the desserts?”
“Desserts? Oh you must be from Nonna’s Sicilian Treats,” the man stated, shuffling a few papers before he spoke again. He sounded inexperienced, a faint waver in the confident tone he tried to portray. “Where did you get this number? The order should be listed under Carmela Corleone.”
“Well, this was the secondary number listed,” you said calmly, pulling lies straight from your ass, “The first was unreachable at the moment so we tried this one. Could you reconfirm your order?”
The man seemed to loosen up, sighing softly as he spoke again, “Um…We ordered seven dozen citrus cannoli. Come on Tuesday at six thirty pm. The party starts at 7pm but wear your work uniform or carry some branded boxes when you arrive. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“No worries, we'll come on Tuesday. Have a nice day Mr. Hagen,” you said cheerfully, hanging up the phone and walking home.
The morning of the 30th, you asked your mother for permission to visit Michael's family. It was all just a formality, you would have left even if she said no, but she agreed.
She was surprised at first, not expecting you to be so invested in a boy after years of disinterest. She soon relented when she found out you wanted his fathers favor. You played into the heartbroken ‘girlfriend’ role who was hoping to win the favor of her prospective inlaws.
The previous night you had called Nonna’s Sicilian Treats—a family run bakery not too far from Staten Island—and informed the owner that the Corleone order would be delivered by a hired hand, not the bakery. The owner—an older Sicilian woman—questioned it at first but after a bit of persuasion she agreed to have the order ready for pickup at 6pm.
You had managed to pick up and transfer the desserts across the city, changing into a plain uniform from your mothers bakery at the subway station. They were a bit cumbersome, but manageable to carry once you tied both boxes together.
The worst part was the 52 minute ride to Staten Island. You had to switch train cars twice after an accident on the train. You had made it a few minutes later than you hoped, but the cannolis were safe and the last leg of your journey was pretty short.
The cab you had called dropped you off a little ways away from the home. It seemed like Michael's family had more than just money.
The men the gate proved as such, both sporting a neutral scowl meant to intimidate anyone who wasn't invited.
Expensive cars and cabs were parked in front of the gate. There were fewer than you expected, leading you to believe that it was a more intimate event for close friends of the family.
A man was taking note of each license, writing them down in a note book before he noticed you. He looked like a reporter, his questioning eyes reminding you faintly of Leone. Luckily, he didn't come up to speak with you, it must be protocol.
Even with you so far away, you could still hear the faint chatter of party guests as they entered a separate building. Muffled Sicilian folk songs were being played on a record player as well, growing louder as you approached the bodyguards infrastructure of the gate.
“State your business,” the taller man demanded, crossing his arms. He seemed to have let his previous guard down now that he was talking to someone he perceived as ‘harmless.’
“I was told by Mr. Hagen to drop some pastries off at 6:30,” you said meekly, allowing for the man to lessen his guard even more. “It was an order placed by Carmela Corleone.”
The man looked down at his watch and glanced at his partner before he nodded, “Head through the gate and take a right. The guest house kitchen should be open by now.”
“Thank you,” you said, smiling as they allowed you through. A couple camera shutters went off from behind you, but you didn't turn around. Hopefully they didn't get your face in any of them.
The bodyguards instructions were simple enough and soon you found yourself in the entrance of the kitchen. The shrill voices of women and aromatic spices hit your nostrils as you stepped inside, only for you to run into a broad chest.
Your first concern were the boxes, adjusting your hold to make sure they wouldn't fall. A large, firm hand grabbed your shoulder, stabilizing you.
“Woah—sorry about that doll, you good?” the tall man asked, each word saturated with a mixed Brooklyn-Italian accent. His tone was loud and almost aggressive in his shock: immediately alerting you that he had a brash character.
You nodded as you did a quick once over, noticing that he was much thicker than you originally expected—filling out the shoulders of his dress shirt and vest snuggly. A curly mop of brown hair covered the expanse of his head while a certain swagger permeated the air about him that reminded you of the street thugs that sometimes roamed Greenwich.
It was then you looked him in the eye, smiling as you adjusted your hold on the boxes and subtly shifting to remove his hand from your shoulder. He seemed to be too entranced by you to even notice, eyes flicking downward all too quickly before meeting your own.
A charming smile lifted his lips as you allowed him to unlace and took one of the boxes. “Here let me help ya with one of those,” he said casually, “Must've been annoying carrying these in yourself.”
“Thank you sir,” you said politely, following him deeper into the guest house. “It wasn't any trouble.”
“Just call me Sonny, I'm not that old yet,” he said, chuckling as you both entered the kitchen where a group of women worked. This must be one of Michael's older brothers. While he seemed to be the exact opposite of Michael, you could sense a faint resemblance in the way they both smiled.
“Ma, we got desserts,” Sonny yelled, causing all the women to look over to where the two of you stood.
“Desserts? Oh finally, I've been wondering when they would come” an older woman, who you presumed to be Michael’s mother, said. She whipped her brow with her apron and took the box that Sonny held, opening it to smell the pastries. “They are citrus flavored, no?”
“Yes, there are about seven dozen splits in each box,” you said, looking around and noticed a photo framed on the kitchen window sill. “Is that Michael?” you whispered softly, pretending to not recognize him in the photo: loud enough for Sonny and Mrs. Corleone to take note.
Sonny's face soured at the mention of his brother's name, but held his tongue of whatever he was going to say. It seemed that everyone—besides Mrs. Corleone—dimmed down at the mention of him, but the atmosphere soon picked up as his mother brightened.
“Oh, you know Michael?” she questioned as you set the box down on the counter. “He glosses over everything on the phone. I only get anything when he's in front of me, but he's rarely home. I never know if he's made any friends at college. What's your name dear?”
“Cecilia Nicolosi, signora,” you replied, analyzing her face for her reaction. A smile soon bloomed on her face.
“I've heard of you! Michael mentioned you once before earlier this month,” she explained, laughing at the coincidence.
It seems like all your hard work has paid off. “I didn't expect Michael to mention me,” you replied, laughing as a woman around your age peeked out from behind Mrs. Corleone.
“We were surprised too! Michael has always been a bit of a wet blanket when it comes to this kind of stuff,” she said, chuckling while wiping her hands in a towel. She looked similar to Michael, having the same black hair and delicate features as him. She was about to speak again but was cut off by Sonny.
“Who wouldn't want to keep such a pretty young thing like her hidden,” he said, lighting a cigarette, “I know I would've if I was in the college boys shoes.”
“Sonny, bastanti,” Mrs. Corleone scolded, slapping his back to chase him out of the kitchen. “Shouldn't you be out there warming up the guests with your father? Get out of the kitchen!”
“Alright! Alright,” he said, embarrassed by his mother coddling. The girl from earlier came forward, looking you over with curiosity.
“I'm Connie by the way, Michael’s younger sister,” she said, lifting a hand to shake. Just by her disposition you could tell that she was a nervous and sheltered young woman. You doubted she had many close friendships due to her life in the shadows of the men around her. Luckily for her, you would change that for the betterment of the both of you.
With your target in sight, you threw on your sweetest smile and took her hand in greeting. She immediately brightened at your friendliness, dragging you into conversation as she started working on dicing a few tomatoes. You strategically inserted yourself into the kitchen, finding your own cutting board and helping with the smaller tasks like peeling potatoes and dicing onions.
Connie and Carmela—she insisted on that instead—took turns questioning you about school and how you met Michael. Connie seemed entranced by the stories you told of your college life. You could tell that she romanticized the concept of a college romance—reminding you of Beatrice's fascination with romance.
By the time you finished dinner, you knew that you had Connie in the palm of your hand. Just by the look in her eye, you could tell that she admired you. It became even clearer when she asked you to stay for dinner.
“I couldn't possibly stay, I'm not even dressed properly,” you said humbly, calculating her reaction to be insistent to get what she wanted.
“It's fine, I have so many dresses in my closet, I don't mind if you borrow one,” she said proudly, dragging you out of the kitchen and into the garden. “My friend Lucy was supposed to be my plus one, but she couldn't make it today.”
The both of you didn't have overcoats on so you huddled together as you ran to the main house, giggling when you slipped on the grass.
The two of you enter through a back door and she immediately takes you upstairs to what you presumed to be her bedroom. It had light yellow wallpaper and a cozy canopy bed in the center of the back wall. Framed pictures of artists she seemed to like and Hollywood movies covered some of the shelves, adding a bit of character to the bedroom.
Her closet was almost bigger than your bedroom back home, with racks and shelves full of the nicest shoes and dresses you had ever seen. Although your family had been doing well financially as of late, you doubted that you could afford even the cheapest dress in this closet.
“I was thinking you might fit this dress,” she said, pulling out a simple forest green cocktail dress. You placed it flush against your body where the hem came just below your knees. The sleeves were long, stopping at your wrist and the fabric was cool to the touch.
“It's a little too long for me, but since you're a bit taller it would probably fit you,” she said, making her way out of the closet. “Put your clothes in that black bag over there so you can grab it later.”
Once you put the dress on, you admired yourself in the full length mirror. The fabric accented your skin tone and flattered your figure. It felt a little snug around your hips, but as long as you didn't move too much it was manageable.
Slipping on your reliable Mary Janes, you left the closet. Connie beamed once she saw you, taking your hand and racing the both of you back to the kitchen.
You grab a dish along with the other women and walk into the dining room where a large oak wood table rests. A couple chairs were already occupied by a few guests, but most of them were up and about, mostly surrounding the man of the hour.
The familial resemblance between him and Michael was plainly visible. The dark hair with hints of grey and the dark brown eyes were just as striking as Michael's—maybe even more so. He was currently holding a glass of wine listening to the voices of the men around him. An air of quiet authority seemed to emanate from him, even without speaking, he held the conversation in the palm of his hand.
The conversation soon died out once you plated the food onto the table. Traditional Sicilian foods filled the expanse of the table, filling the air with aromatic scents. Before anyone could serve themselves Vito stood up to give a small speech, thanking the men for the many years of friendship shared and wishing for many more. Once everyone said “Cent'anni,” everyone began to serve themselves. Your cannolis were a hit and soon only a handful was left on the platter.
Connie brought you to the head of the table where her father sat. He perked up as you both approached, observing you with a look of cold yet open curiosity.
“Father, this is Cecilia—a friend of Michael's—could she stay for dinner?”
His eyes landed on you, thoughtful in their expression before speaking. His voice was raspy and low, speaking in a slower, more thoughtful cadence. You couldn't help but wonder who Sonny took after since he was so unlike his father and mother.
“You are…Cecilia Nicolosi, no? The one my son goes to school with?”
“Yes Signore, Michael and I have become close as of late,” you said, respectfully lowering your head in greeting.
“You are the first he's ever mentioned,” he stated, stroking his chin as he continued to speak, “do you have a relative of the name Matteo Nicolosi?”
“Yes, he is my grandfather on my father's side of the family.”
He nodded and took a moment to ruminate over what you said before he spoke again, “You come from a kind family, your grandfather helped organize and pay for my mother's funeral. You are welcome at my table”
“Thank you signore,” you replied as Connie dragged you to the middle of the table where two empty seats sat. The majority of the guests present were older Sicilian men and their wives. Conversation was boisterous, laughing about anecdotes of the many years of friendship held with Vito Corleone.
Sitting on your left sat Fredo Corleone and facing you was Tom Hagen, who was actually Michael's adoptive brother: not a house keeper. Fredo was almost as outgoing as Sonny but was easy to talk to, conversation flowing smoothly between the two of you. Tom was focused on your words but didn't add all that much. You could feel the curious eyes of Sonny where he sat at the left of his father. The hours passed between you and the siblings: Connie filling you in on gossip, learning which husband was cheating and who was caught at a brothel.
By the end of dinner, you had successfully ingrained yourself into the Corleone family. You were even allowed to stay afterwards to help clean dishes and meet some of the children of the family.
By 11:38pm you pry yourself from Connie, only after giving her your number you were able to go home. Mama Corleone packed you some food to take home, placing it in the black bag with your clothes. Connie insisted you keep the dress and sent you off with a tight hug and a wish goodnight, hoping to see you again in the future.
•
Almost four years had passed since the moment you befriended the Corleone family, but you still longed for Michael's voice.
For the first three years he was gone, he sent letters sporadically, detailing all he had learned and seen during his time deployed. His letters would sometimes be neat while others hurriedly scribbled in almost unintelligible handwriting, yet you cherished them all the same. Each one was placed in a lock box you bought second hand in Hanover.
You wrote many replies, finally using the same pen you had borrowed from him. Sometimes you would send small pictures of yourself playing tennis or college newspaper clips. A spritz of your perfume added the final touch before you sent it off.
However, in the last year of his time abroad, letters from him had slowly come to a halt. You had heard from Fredo that he was promoted to the rank of Captain and was featured in a Life Magazine in 1944. He had received a Navy Cross after displaying bravery in battle. You made sure to buy two copies of the magazine, cutting clips of the first and putting them in a frame that sat on your dresser, while storing the second in your lockbox.
It was the first time you had seen his actual face in years and it showed. His delicate features had sharpened, showing his transition into manhood. The head shot was perfect, illuminating his dark eyes so beautifully that it almost disguised the horrors of war he had seen. The warmth that had once been dimmed, lingering in the small quirk of his lips. You had spent multiple occasions just staring at the framed photo you had made.
When you weren't re-reading letters or doing extra curricular activities, you were working on your education. You were planning on becoming a Cardiologist, seeing how your fathers health had begun to deteriorate in your senior year of high school. He had refused going to the doctor until he started having chest pain in 1944. He was diagnosed with heart disease. Ever since he started working at a desk, he hadn't gotten the exercise he needed to work off the extra fat in his system. Since then, he has been working on improving his health but your family still worries.
You and Becca continued being roommates on campus, spending as much time as possible together even with your busy lives. During the first year, you introduced Connie to Becca and the both of them became fast friends. The three of you often hung out during breaks from school, going to the movies, you teaching them to play tennis, or even sneaking Connie out to go swing dancing, but it seemed that Connie held a particular fondness for you.
Carmela had once told you how glad she was that Connie had her own friends outside the family. She had always been sheltered compared to her brothers, rarely forming any meaningful friendships during her time in school. The only other close friend she had was Lucy Mancini, the daughter of a soldato who worked for Vito.
Carmela had wanted Connie to make friends outside of the family business, as she called it. The two of you were Connie's closest confidantes outside of her family, yet it had been surprising when she told the both of you that she was getting married that August.
You knew that she had been seeing a guy named Carlo, but you never thought he would propose. His eyes tended to wander whenever you or Becca were around. He was like a mosquito: the type to latch onto a girl and suck her dry leaving only an itchy sore in his wake. You knew this and even warned her, but she laughed it off, saying that you were just being cynical.
“You'll understand when you get into a real relationship,” Lucy said, giggling openly as she spoke again, “I'm sure guys would line up to get a taste of you if you weren't so hung up on Michael—”
“Lucy! Don't even start,” Rebecca interrupted, placing her glass of water down on the waiting room table. It had been hot the week of the wedding rehearsal and as the maids of honor, you, Becca and Lucy had been allowed to take a break as Connie tried on her dress the day before her wedding. The three of you were currently waiting for her to step out of the fitting room where her mom was helping her. “Besides we all know you have no right to talk—especially with how you've been acting.”
Lucy had been making a fool of herself all week: flirting with Sonny of all people and like the idiot he was, he reciprocated. Everyone who saw them interact knew that this farce would come to a head soon.
“What do you mean? I'm just being friendly with my bridal partner,” she said innocently, sipping her glass of wine. Lucy had on occasion hung out with the three of you, but she never became a true friend. She was more of an acquaintance you had to tolerate even though she often got on your nerves.
“Friendly my ass. I'm not going to stop you, but if you ruin this for Connie, don't expect us to go easy on you,” Becca stated looking at you for confirmation. You nodded, staring Lucy down. You didn't appreciate her attitude.
Becca never liked Lucy, yet she cared for Connie enough to stay civil. You placed a hand on her shoulder to help her calm down. It wouldn't be long before Connie stepped out and you didn't want her to see the three of you fighting.
“Let's remember why we are here: to support Connie. Lucy, you're a grown woman so do as you wish but don't expect any help when things go wrong for you.”
Lucy huffed, downing the rest of her wine as Connie stepped out of the dressing room with her mother in-tow.
“What do you girls think! They finished adding the last alterations,” she gushed, stepping on the platform and twirling around in her dress. The dress was simple, sporting a lace neckline and sleeves while the silk of the dress had a faint reflective quality to it. The train was long and the veil longer. You hoped she wouldn't overheat tomorrow.
“It looks beautiful on you Connie,” you said, passing her a glass of water. Her face was flushed with exertion. The boutique she booked had been quite stuffy. “I love the lace detailing, it's definitely gonna help cool you down.”
Connie smiled, wiping a stray tear from her eyes with the handkerchief you had given her. Carmela took Connie's hand as she stepped down from the platform.
“You'll be the star of the show Constanzia,” Carmela said, kissing her forehead before sitting down. “The whole family will be there for you. Even Michael wrote in saying he'll be there.”
“I don't know Mamà, you know he's been avoiding the whole family,” she complained, dejected. She now stood in front of the large mirror next to the dressing room. As much as she hated to admit it, Connie loved her older brother dearly and hoped he would come support her.
Even after Michael had been injured and sent home after his promotion to captain he hadn't shown his face in New York or at Dartmouth. You had heard that he planned to enroll the following fall but he didn't bother sending any letters or even calling you. Last you heard from Carmela was that he was living in his apartment in Hanover recovering.
“I'm sure he'll show, it would be down right cruel if he didn't,” Becca said, turning to glance at you. She was still wary of Michael after the way he caused you to spiral all those years ago. You met her eyes and smiled, hiding your inner glee at the mention of his name.
All the years you've invested into this family are finally paying off. Michael might be avoiding you now, but you would make him realize that there was no escape the moment he allowed himself to be ensnared by your web.
You knew Michael and skipping his sister's wedding was not something he would do. He was too loving even though he didn't show it. He would probably show up late in order to further distance himself from the family, but that didn't matter to you.
"Don't worry Connie," you say, pouring yourself your first glass of wine, swirling it around in your glass and admiring its deep red color, "I'm sure Michael will come to realize who truly matters. Just give him some time to explore. He'll come home for good eventually."
With that, you took a deep sip of your wine, savoring its sweet flavor as it slid down your throat. Connie began to speak again and while it looked like you were listening, you were deep in your thoughts: plotting your next moves to draw him in.
After all, the prodigal son was returning, and it would only be a matter of time before he was yours once again.
Author's Note: This is an introduction to a series. Please let me know how it is. Any comments are welcome. I did name the character, I hope you guys enjoy.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Lilith Archeron, the youngest sister, was born almost two years apart from Ferye. While her sisters looked much like their mother, Lilith was more like their father with slightly chubby cheeks, but also a sharp jaw, a button nose, and full lips. Yet the eyes were her mother’s, the same eye shape as her sisters before, but more blue than brown in Lilith’s eyes.
Despite her young age, Lilith remembered the life before the cottage; she recalled how she would sneak off to her father’s meeting, instead of attending dancing lessons. She remembered the lessons on how to play the piano and even the small amount of reading. Nesta was the wits, Elain the beauty, Feyre the wild one, and Lillit was the smart one, noticing things that usually other people didn’t.
When their mother was sick, she had Lilith and Feyre promise that they would take care of their sisters. Lilith was just 6 years old. And it was she and Feyre that kept the family going, when one faltered, the other didn't fail.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Body trembling at the sight, Lilith couldn't comprehend the situation. A gasp came from her side as she whimped her head towards the door and saw Feyre standing, looking as horrified as Lilith felt.
“You are staying here” There was no argument in Feyre’s tone; she just nodded, wiping her mouth, sorrow filling her eyes as she glanced back at the bloodied sink.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Their life was completely changed when their father’s ships returned, but at what cost? Feyre was gone, and Lilith knew, she KNEW, that her sister wasn’t at some aunt’s house; she had remembered the beast who came for her sister. But she wasn’t able to speak of it, when she tried, the words just wouldn’t come out. So she stayed silent.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
“Lilypad” her father's voice came,
Sitting in the study room, Lilith looked at her father “This is Neema, she is a healer, and has come to see you”
A small smile dawned on Lilith’s face. Her father had been trying so much to change the outcome of her blood disease, but 3 different healers all gave the same answer: she was dying.
“Father” She began
“Please allow me to look once, I assure you that it would not take much of your time” the healer said
Lilith reluctantly complied with the request.
A kernel of hope blossomed in her chest when the healer said she could try to limit the impact if Lilith came with her for the treatment. Extending her lifespan to at least a decade.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Shock, horror and anger, so much anger, that’s what Lilith felt when she came back from her treatment, and found that Feyre had come back and left. Her family had told her that Feyre wanted to go, and that there was a virus in Prythian that possibly could leak into the Human Lands. But Lilith did not care about that; she was enraged at her sisters, who hadn't even sent one letter about Feyre being home, hurt that her father had also not.
“You can’t change anything” Nesta said “It is for the best”
She didn’t justify Nesta’s comment with a response but instead glared at her with hateful eyes and walked to her chambers.
Lilith wept, she had so much to tell her Feyre, the only one who ever cared like a sister should, the one who didn’t give up on her even in poverty, unlike her other two sisters, who didn’t so much as help her even after their wealth had come back.
She was placing down the book on her dresse, when she saw a note, the only thing she could teach Feyre to write, “I luv u”
𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪
Note: Sooo, i hope you guys like this foundation. Please let me know how it was. I chose this title because i feel Night Court is that,like a controlled mess, and i hope to build my character that way as well.
And I know this was sorta vague, but i just wanted to establish this connection with Feyre at the reader.
Yes, i was inspired by Fourth Wing's Lilith, well, at least the name for now.
dauvi, a young woman born in the 1800s wants to sail the seas just like her father did, unfortunately the world she lives in isn't too kind. then she meets ateez and her life changes, nothing adds up as they navigate their way to an old treasure.
﹏﹏﹏﹏
“And don't forget about our main mission!” He calls after her retreating figure.
A sigh escapes his lips as his eyes remain on the place she just left. He's body still warm from when she hugged him and the scent of her floral perfume lingers, reminding him that she's a woman.
Hongjoong shakes his head from the silly thoughts, he came here for a reason so he should be doing that said reason instead of thinking about something he shouldn't.
Hongjoong had only said agreed to help this child was because they were going back home after all this, and Demitria should be able to find shelter there. After his talk with Yunho, their search to Azula has seem to be leading them to dead ends. And aimlessly searching the seas does not sound like a very good plan so after the heist they're going to Ryeongko—for rest and to also come up with a better idea of where to find Azula.
Almost an hour later, Jongho comes to find Hongjoong outside.
“We are to proceed with the same plan. The amulet should be the last thing to be auctioned off. However there's been a slight change in our plans... In audition to taking the amulet, you will also be taking the baron's wife as well.”
Jongho looks surprise but he doesn't question the order.
“And to not draw much suspicion, you'll take the tree grove down to the docks.” Hongjoong points to the group of trees where the rest were waiting for the signal.
“Aye aye, Captain.”
And with that Jongho goes back inside the manor. Hongjoong looks at his pocket watch, the banquet should be over by now and the auction will start right away.
The rest of the crew that'll be accompanying him on this heist are all in the tree grove waiting for the go. Hongjoong enters the manor again, staying out of sight to hear when this auction begins.
It takes almost an hour before Hongjoong comes back and gives his crew the go. They enter the house as quietly as they could. They took down the servants who stumble upon them by accident as they made their way surrounding the two exits. No one who wasn't in their crew was leaving the room untill they were done, that was a promise.
The chatter coming from the hall was loud, the auction had just finished up. Before anyone had the time to even think to leave, the heist group barge into the hall. Gasps and shrieks fill the room as expected.
“Everyone be quiet if you want to live!” Hongjoong says menacingly above the noise. Mahnbel fires a bullet into the ceiling to cause a greater effect.
Hongjoong's eyes land on Dauvi who has the amulet in her hands, some feeling of relief hits his chest. If he had lost that amulet, he wouldn't know what he'd do. It was the last piece of his mother that he had. Dauvi and Jongho took Demitria to the servant's door.
“To your knees now if you value civility. Lest you want to be one with the ground.” Hongjoong smiles anything but friendly. One by one the attenders get onto the ground—some shivering and others silently crying.
At first the plan was Hongjoong empty threatening these people to buy time for Dauvi and Jongho but now he had a different idea when his eyes landed on the baron. A rather evil one but for a good cause!
Hongjoong takes a step closer towards the said man. People visibly quivered at him getting nearer.
“Why if it isn't the baron! How interesting to see you here!”
“M-might I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance before?” The baron's voice shakes, not how it was earlier when he was confidently auctioning the goods.
“No. I wouldn't say so... However I do know lots about you.” Hongjoong grins wickedly. The others glance towards each other, their captain was going off the script, none of them remember this being apart of the plan. “You donate to the Nilayan orphanages, you help the poor and you have a great reputation with the people am I correct?”
Ivance gulps, giving a glance to the man closest to him before turning back, he nods slowly.
“Yes it is so... Sir if it is money that you require, I will give it to you. Please spare my— uh- our lives!” The baron pleads. Hongjoong tilts his head, arms crossed.
“You assume I want money!” Hongjoong laughs. Ivance chuckles nervously.
Hongjoong pulls the nearby chair and sits, crossing his leg over the other. “You are very mistaken, your baronship. I already have what I want. Now pray tell us all Mr. Baron, do you love your precious wife?”
His eyes widen slightly and his eyebrows raise as he awaits for an answer The color drains slightly from the guilty man.
“Ehm— uh, of course I love my wife! Demitria honey, please tell them so?” The baron looks around for his wife but he does not see the girl.
“Hm? What's this?” Hongjoong leans closer to Ivance. “Your wife isn't here huh? Ah that's right, I did see her ran away a quarter of an hour ago! Now do tell me, why would she run away, Mr. Ivance?”
Ivance stays quiet. Hongjoong stands up and looks around to the people in the room. Hongjoong's always hated people in power with no good background/intentions, corrupt governments and people who lead with unfairness. It was always fun to ruin what they had built. Playing dirty was oh but a pirate's thing, especially when the one getting played is in the wrong.
“Why would Lady Demitria run away from her husband? She would not doubt live a tasteless life for running away... but that could only mean living with Mr. Baron is worst than living in hiding from him. Do you all agree?” No one dares to say a thing, their mouths all dry from the sudden turn this event took. This did not please Hongjoong at all. “Do you all agree?”
Hongjoong repeats, not as kindly as before, they flinch. Murmurs of agreement rise in the room, whether they did agree or if they were doing it to save themselves he didn't care.
Hongjoong clears his throat and nods towards the gentleman trying to quietly move towards the exit Dauvi and Jongho took. Akin walks over grabs the man by the collar. Hongjoong recognizes the man and instantly frowns.
“Bring forth the man who dares to escape.” And Akin does so. Hongjoong doesn't look as menacingly teasing as he did with the baron, the vibe different. Zilim looks around the room frantically. “Mr. Zilim, trying to save your own head hmm?”
Zilim sputters excuses but nothing coherent comes out. Akin holds onto his hands, keeping them behind his back like he was a prisoner. And in this situation, he was—everyone was.
“Much pity, your silly plan failed. Pirates are sharper than you think, my sir.”
“It is not what you think!” Zilim states, attempting to save himself. Hongjoong raises a brow not amused.
“I quite dislike you enough as it is but you telling childish fibs isn't helping your case.” Hongjoong draws his sword and points it to Zilim's neck.
A gasp rings out and three women faint onto the floor on the spot. Their bodies lay in a heap of colourful velvets and cottons.
“Tend to those ladies, will you?” Hongjoong says to everyone held prisoner's surprise and his crew did as told. Hongjoong turns back to Zilim who dared not make a sound.
Hongjoong's eyes narrow. A feeling deep in his chest, a feeling of hate surges as he recalls how Zilim treated Dauvi in the hallway. He wouldn't take slander to his crew, no but he's never felt so.. so angry about it before. It surprises him too that he wanted to slit Zilim's throat right here and right now.
The blade presses into the plush of his neck not enough to pierce but enough to make him squirm. Hongjoong watches this with a mild expression on his face. He could kill him now and be done with it.
But...
Dauvi had asked him not to kill anyone unless if it were completely necessary. To him, he would have said yes this was necessary however he knew Dauvi would not agree.
It took him most of his will to take the sword away from his neck. Hongjoong sheaths the sword and takes a step back. The sword was so sharp it left a small cut, hardly bigger than a paper cut. It drips a small drop of blood down his skin—even then, Zilim exhales.
Hongjoong smiles to everyone again.
“I confess, I was rather entertained by your current predicament. The parlor of your faces was quite the spectacle!” Hongjoong clasps his hands together. “However, we unfortunately have to make a trip now. Pray, do not make a scene. It has all been a trifle, a brief amusement if you will. And do make sure these poor ladies have some aid. Ta-ta~!”
Hongjoong bows while everyone looks at the man like he had lost some screws and maybe he had. No one on board the Tatiny could deny, it was a rather entertaining event. Strange, yes but entertaining nevertheless.
“Not so fast.” The doors open forcefully, pushing Jacq and Danny forward from the sheer impact.
“How marvelous...” Hongjoong rolls his eyes at the long dark haired pirate. “Martachi! we were just leaving.”
“And I say for you all to remain your sorrowful asses put!” Captain Blackwood yells. He points a finger at Hongjoong. “Surrender the treasure!”
Hongjoong sighs.
“I have not treasure.” Hongjoong tells him truthfully.
“Uh huh, and you traveled all this way for naught? You truly believe I 'n imbecile to consider the truth in that?” His pointed finger jabs accusingly.
“You can refer to everyone else in this room, we have yet to take something away from them besides the joy they felt prior to our intrusion.” Hongjoong says boredly.
“Is what he speaks truth?” He asks a nearby woman. She nods shakily.
“They have yet to take any of our possessions—” he kicks the woman causing her to fall flat onto her bottom. Almost everyone gasps at that.
“Cut the shit! There's no way on earth and under the heavens you voyaged all this way to just to wreck a tad bit of havoc.”
“Suppose I tell you I did? Then what?” Hongjoong challenges, the same smile he had in the beginning of his heist quirks on his lips. The one which made him look slightly unhinged.
Martachi falters. His lips move to speak when he's cut off by a new person joining the dinner hall.
“Captain! We need to make exit like right now. The royal guards are coming because they heard we have taken over.” Krish runs in. “I know not when they'll arrive but they could be here in a matter of seconds.”
Hongjoong signals for his crew to leave, they take the same exit Zilim was trying to escape through.
“And that's our que. Thank you again for entertaining us this wonderful afternoon. Maybe we shall meet again.” Hongjoong waves at the people when all his crew leave through the door before making the exit himself.
Hongjoong runs down the hall behind his crew. The sound of more than a dozen of heavy boots trampling the floors fill the room. The walls shake as the guards infiltrates the manor on top of their own boots.
A painting snaps and falls onto the floor in ahead of Hongjoong. Parchment catches his eye, his brows furrow. When he was close enough picks it up and keeps running.
The sound of a firearm pops, everyone guessed that had to have been Martachi for the national guard hardly carried firearms with them.
“Stop right there—!” but it was too late, the pirates were already out the door.
﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏
[Meanwhile]
“Jongho!”
“Yeah I saw... This is not good.”
“If the black pirates show up to the auction...” Dauvi thinks aloud.
“We ought to warn them before the national guards catch wind. Martachi may be in the manor as we speak. We ought to make sure he doesn't have any back up following.”
Jongho begins to hatch a plan with a couple of pirates on standby.
“Lady Demitria, I'll be leaving for a bit.” Dauvi informs the girl.
“Can't I tag along?”
“I'll have to deny Demitria, it's far too dangerous. These are ruthless pirates that have a long term grudge with our crew. So you must stay here.”
“Alone?” She worries.
“You'll be with the rest of the crew who are left on stand by.” Dauvi assures her. Demitria bites her lip.
Dauvi then shows Demitria where her cabin is, for they will share the room anyway. She quickly removes her skirts, remaining in the trousers she wore underneath. She goes above deck after grabbing her second dagger just in case.
A small group has been banded consisting of
Dauvi, Jongho, Beckhan, Arosyn, and Krish.
Krish goes the separate way to the tree grove whereas the quartet make their way to the Viper's Fang.
The crew on board Martachi's ship spots them quickly. By the looks of it, Martachi hardly took any men with him to the manor with him.
“Well well, if it isn't the pests, ATEEZ!” The one she recognizes as Phinn snears.
“What are you in Haetin for?” Jongho asks calmly.
“It's unmarked territory, don't need to answer to you lads.” Phinn chuckles as if he was just noticing Dauvi, “—and gal.”
“Where is Martachi?” they all knew exactly where he's gone. The real question was how did he know where they'd be?
“At an event right now, he was curious if they were auctionin' a treasure... I say why else would your captain be there?” Phinn cocks his head, a hand on his chin.
“If your captain decides to play dirty, we won't hesitate with bloodshed Phinn.” Jongho warns instead of answering the question.
“Right right.. so don't you think it'll be right if we just do this?”
Four of the black pirates lackeys grabbed onto them the quartet with a struggle. In the end they let themselves get captured.
“If I remember correctly, it was you lot who played funny years ago. As you said, funny business pays to bloodshed.” Phinn seems overly happy by this.
An empty barrel knocks over and everyone's gaze turns to the sound.
“My my, if it isn't the baron's wife?” The man standing next Phinn says.
Dauvi bites the inside of her cheek. Why hadn't Demitria stayed on the ship like she was asked to?
“I say, hold on but a moment. You guys kidnapped the baron's wife for a ransom?” Phinn chuckles at the assumption almost in a demeaning way like they couldn't even if they tried. He snaps his fingers towards Demitria. The man standing besides him moves to grab her. Demitria lets out a scream, the lackey hurries to cover her mouth.
“Uh uh uh, bad gal. You shall be our ransom now, a ransom for real pirates.” Dauvi rolls her eyes at Phinn, the whole they weren't real pirates thing was getting annoying. In the corner of her eye, she spots Hongjoong and the rest making their way out of the grove.
“Get them board the ship.”
Jongho gives Dauvi a look, Dauvi understands—she didn't need to be told twice. She kicks the man holding her in the balls
He groans in pain letting go of her to clutch the area. Dauvi rushes to Demi
“What—?”
The group break free from their captors, could they even be called captors when they willingly let themselves get captured?
“It was rather nice having a chat with you Phinny but our captain is here!” Arosyn smirks.
Dauvi and Beckhan had taken care of Demitria's capturer. Dauvi takes Demitria's hand tightly and they all make a run for it towards the Tatiny ignoring the protests. The two parties meet simultaneously at Tatiny.
“The national guard may be on our tails so we must leave now!” Hongjoong informs them quickly as they all head aboard.
It took a minute but they finally left the reefs of Haetin Nilaya right when the guards made it to the docks.
“Where to now, captain?”
“Ryeongko, keikyu” He answers. Dauvi offers to help plot the course but Yunho assures her he can manage.
“What's the plan for the new addition on board?” San asks Hongjoong quietly who's watching Dauvi and Demitria interact—well more like Dauvi scolding her lightly for leaving the ship.
“Keikyu has a sanctuary, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this..”
“You're going to leave her in your brother's hands?” San tilts his head.
“Well we cannot keep her on board. She's definitely not built for this life and I fear she won't be able to adapt.”
San thinks for a moment.
“Why did we take her anyway?”
At that very moment, Dauvi looks over to Hongjoong from where she is. She gives him a smile before returning to her conversation with Demitria.
“It's not like we're ransoming her back for a pretty sum.”
Hongjoong doesn't answer at first. Why did he do this? He looks at Dauvi once again.
“Because Dauvi has a soft heart still...”
He looks down the the amulet Dauvi had returned to him. A half answer. Because he wouldn't know how to explain what had happened in that hallway and how his heart seem to stutter. In all honesty, that would be too embarrassing to admit aloud.
﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏
Dauvi never had any siblings before, she grew up as the only daughter and child to her mother and father. In a way Demitria became like a younger sister to her as well as one of her children—like all the minors on board. Dauvi taught her how hand sew just like she's always wanted, she was a quick learner and picked it up almost instantly.
It took almost a week before Demitria became more comfortable aboard with everyone else. Without the ton back in Haetin Nilaya always on her every move, she was actually more carefree. She even joined Dashy, Danny and Beckhan on their little tricks. She also didn't seem much apposed about her kidnapping-for-good-cause.
The ship rocks back and forth as it ticks closer and closer to their destination. To be frank, with all the sailing they have been doing these past two months, heading to Keikyu for some rest sounded nice to the crew.
It was a nice day today, the wind was a little strong yes but the sun was shining. Most everyone was on deck doing something to pass the time. Dauvi sits with San and Wooyoung on the crates observing the teenagers. Demitria keeps track as the three all try to climb the ropes fastest. A breeze causes a ripple effect in the sails.
“Who knew bringing a gal aboard would have them acting silly?” Wooyoung muses.
“You weren't any better when Dauvi joined.” The said woman shakes her head with a smile at San's words. He wasn't lying... A strong wind blows her hair around her face, she pushes the silky black strands behind her ears.
“Hey, I'm literally Dove's best friend. Those boys have pestered her into being a referee.” Wooyoung counters with his hands up.
“At least she appears to be having fun with them...” Dauvi notes, glancing back to them.
“That don't look too good...” They hear someone say. The trio turn their heads to the commotion, an unspoken feeling of unease passes.
“Captain, a storm may be comin' upon us, starboard 'bout sev'nty miles way.” Jacq informs, a slight tremble in his voice.
Hongjoong takes a look to his right, seemingly thinking of what to do. Sure enough there were dark clouds a couple miles away, they did not look like friendly rain clouds. Hongjoong turns to Yunho.
“You think we can out run it, the storm?”
Yunho squints, his lips pressed together. The dark clouds seem to be getting closer and closer—miles per minute, he wasn't sure they had a chance.
“I don't think so.” he says in his better judgement.
“Well then... Let's just secure everything we can.” Hongjoong turns on his heel.
Everyone gets into action, following the instructions of tying down everything on deck that may get overthrown if they waters get too high. They work as quick as they can for the storm was not something that would patiently wait for them to finish.
That's when the first crack of lighting was heard. Dauvi's heart almost stops at the sound, her fingers that were tying a knot still. She bites her lip before continuing her work.
It all happened so fast—the sky darkens in just mere seconds. Booms of thunder echo in the strong wind. The ship rocks with the waves that begin to heighten. Still everyone proceeds with getting things that can't be tied down down in the hull of the ship.
Her fingers tremble as she tries to tie down this last knot around the mast. It wasn't easy when the Tatiny suddenly leans left in the waves. She moves her leg to balance herself but the water that had splashed onto the deck causes her to slip.
A hand grabs onto her arm quick and steady. Hongjoong helps her rebalance herself.
She wasn't sure if he had heard her thank you or not for the wind was raging around them like a banshee's cry. He takes over and ties the knot for her.
The first droplets of rain fall, seeping into their clothes and dampening their hair—it was almost painful for how cold it felt. Someone quickly seals the hatches to avoid flooding.
“Fuck...” She manages to hear Hongjoong swear. They had barely finished getting the things on deck tied down or put under.
The rain found it's rhythm, going for a heavy pour in the blink of an eye.
“Captain—?” Dauvi's worried voice is almost drowned out by the storm.
“Strike the royals!” The order is yelled out. They manage to reduced the royal sails in this wind. Everyone is about drenched by now from both the rain pouring and the waves that are hoisting it's way into the Tatiny.
Dauvi's hair sticks to her forehead as she looks for Demitria.
“Strike the top gallant!” The crew run around her, following the Captain's every order—trying not to slip on the now slippery deck.
Dauvi's eyes land on the girl, she stands next to one of the smaller masts trying to keep her balance. She makes her way to Demitria. The wind howls a deafening howl, almost like a crying woman.
“Strike the gallant and reef the main sail!”
Demitria looks absolutely terrified, her eyes turned bigger than Dauvi has ever seen as she holds on tight onto one of the hooks to keep herself from sliding about. Dauvi holds out her hand which Demitria takes gratefully.
Demitria's fingers tremble as they hold tightly onto Dauvi's, so tight her knuckles have turned white. She was soaked, her braid Dauvi had done earlier had many hairs strayed out and was sticking to her neck.
“We'll be okay, we'll get through this!” Dauvi wasn't even sure of her own words but they rush out of her mouth, comforting under the loudness of the storm.
A crack of lightning hits the actual ocean barely 10 feet away from the Tatiny, it lights up the sky in a terrifying way for a moment. Dauvi's mouth parts in awe and horror. Then the ship violently rides up on a wave. She holds onto the mast and Demitria as they came crashing down.
Dauvi looks to the upper deck, she can see Seonghwa trying his best to headway the ship safely to ride the waves so the bowsprit isn't crushed. The thunder only booms louder as the Tatiny is thrown between the waves.
The Tatiny goes up again and crashes down with a huge splash. A wave of water hits the deck.
Dauvi and Demitria cough out the salty water. Her eyes sting—even then she keeps them open. She looks around the deck, counting to make sure everyone was there. Everyone was, thankfully. Jacq was next to Akin, their heads bowed in prayer. Beckhan, Danny, and Dashtin were only a few feet ahead of her next to the mizzenmast with a couple others.
Hongjoong slowly makes his way over to the upper deck where Seonghwa was, he uses the rails to not loose his balance.
The storm only gets worse in the long miserable minutes of the inked sky, foaming waves hitting them in the face and the loud thunder. Another bolt of lightning hits again fearfully close to the Tatiny, lightening up the world for just a few split seconds.
The grim looks on everyone's wet faces, they all were thinking the same things; hoping the storm would pass as quick as it came and wondering if this was their end.
Dauvi's fists turn white and ached with a dull pain but she never lets go of Demitria. She can see Hongjoong yelling something to Seonghwa but she couldn't hear over the harsh wind.
Another bolt of lightning cracks from behind the ship. Demitria jumps more violently this time and at the same time another wave sends them tilting to the side. Their hold on each other breaks and demitria goes sliding across the deck. Dauvi's heart drops.
A panicked sound escapes Demitria's lips and she shuts her eyes. Someone grabs her by the waist and she was pulled close. Her eyes opens and she's met with concerned eyes. Jongho had saw what had happened so he acted quickly—using the tilting of the ship he managed to slide over to catch her in time. He holds onto the support lines.
“Are you okay?!”
“I assume so! Thank you!”
Demitria stays with Jongho now, both of them holding onto the life line for dear life. Dauvi shuts her eyes tightly as the cold water comes in contact with her face once again.
She feels something—she could almost see an orange haze of some sorts, twisting in the darkness of her eyelids—showing a path of some sorts.
She opens her eyes but she doesn't see the orange in real life.
The Tatiny feels like a bad carriage ride, it went up high on the waves. Strangely, whatever fear of the storm she felt melts away after the haze she saw. The wind swirls her black hair around, this moment feels familiar in a strange Deja Vu type of way. She shivers, yet it's hardly from the cold.
Mingi who stands with Yeosang catches her eye when she turns around, his eyebrows furrowed in thought—in his own world as if the raging fury around him was just background noise. Dauvi slowly inches towards them and links hands with Mingi.
Her presence brings him back to the present. Although she wasn't as afraid of the tumultuous chaos going about, it was comforting to have a friend next to her. Through the iciness of the water droplets, his hand was warm.
Up ahead, she saw streaks of light. A couple miles, there was really light—they were nearing the edge of the storm. It was trippy in a way that looks almost unreal for she had never seen a storm like this.
The Tatiny rocks and crashs through the water's slopes. By the winds it gradually softens, the waves calming down around her.
They really survived this.
The tides carry the Tatiny over and the harsh storm calms to a lighter rain in a few minutes, the sun rays begin to peak out. The darkness like a fog was left behind them. You could hardly believe that a storm had been here by the soft drizzle it left.
The world was calm again. Everyone on board was still, processing what they had been through. What had felt like hours was only a few minutes of danger and chaos. A rainbow blooms in the sky, sparkling bright—showcasing the fluctuation of a world they lived in.
The silence was broken when Fyland breaks into laughter—the sound relieving and warm. Everyone else joins in with shouts and laughter, relieving the stress pent up inside them.
Dauvi pulls Yeosang and Mingi in a tight group hug, tearing up in the process. Mingi pats her soaked head understandingly.
Everyone felt like they could breath again, they had actually survived.
Dauvi still needs a moment when Mingi and a few others go ahead to get the sails back down. Yeosang hugs her for as long as she needs, stroking her hair softly. They don't care about the fact their clothes were soaked. It just felt nice to hug under the sun.
“That was the most frightening thing I have ever been through.” She laughs.
“I have to agree with you. That was the worst storm we've been in yet.” Yeosang hums.
After a few minutes, Dauvi heads over to the upper deck where Seonghwa and Hongjoong were.
“You actually managed to sail us over the waves! How did you even do it? I would have been terrified.” Dauvi chuckles.
“I was... For the first half, then I'm not certain what even happened.” Dove tilts her head at Seonghwa's words. He takes a minute trying to find the words to explain. “It was like a path course had made it's way known... It felt orange... I don't even know, the whole thing seems silly—”
“Wait, you felt it too?” Seonghwa looks at Hongjoong with wide eyes.
“So I was not the only one..” Dauvi adds in quietly.
“Something eerie is going on on this ship. And frankly I don't feel quite fond about the Tatiny becoming one of those ghost ship tales.” Hongjoong shakes his head.
“I can't helpt but think this Santiris woman has something to do with all this.” Seonghwa puts his opinion out quietly. Dauvi's memory jogs, the Deja Vu feeling was making sense now—what Seonghwa said, as far fetched as it was, made sense.
“So not only does she know about us, she has also the ability to predict the future.” Dauvi says, remembering about the painting.
“I think we'll have to talk about this further when we reach Ryeongko.” Hongjoong announces. A light breeze comes their way. Dauvi shivers from the cold. They were all still in their wet clothes. “You should go change before you get sick..”
He sounds a little worried. Dauvi nods but tilts her head.
“I think we should all change before any of us gets sick.” She smiles softly.
