𝓰enre; seonghwa x outcastfem!reader, high school au, semi dark themes, bittersweet, angst, ⸝⸝ 𝔀ord count; 2.7k ⸝⸝ 𝔀arnings; unrealistic-ish, school hierarchy, mentions of suicide, mentions of death, conversation about bullying theme, reader is hated, swearing, cuts & bruises, injury, mentions of fighting(reader gets into a lot of physical fights), slight abandonment issues, rumors, a little spicy tension, seonghwa's kinda a caretaker, lemme know if i missed any! ⸝⸝ 𝓻ead time; 10:04
박성화 ~ 𖤝⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺.₊⋆˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🥀🌑˚˖𓍢ִ🩹˚.
💫ᝰ.ᐟ i don't think real life works like this but whatever, it's fiction and i can do whatever i want :) debussy mentioned (my fav composer!!)
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★ synopsis —
When there was no one else, it was always him in your darkest moments...
— ꒰ > ⋆ < ꒱
You wince as he dabs the ointment on your split eyebrow, he does it so gently that it shouldn't hurt—however the sting of the fresh cut getting sanitize doesn't care in the slightest. The silence in the small room is almost deafening. It's also familiar. This wasn't the first time Park Seonghwa tended to your wounds...
You look everywhere but him as you swing your feet slightly over the bench. You want desperately to ignore the weird sensation in your heart that only comes when he's close.
“You don't have to do this.” You mutter, still not looking at him.
“I want to.” He replies back, his voice as gentle as ever. It was the same answer all the time, he wanted to... Why? You weren't sure if you really wanted to know, maybe that's why in the past you never continued the conversation. But today was different.
“You always say that. It doesn't make sense.” He pauses his movements. You didn't dare look at him as you continue. “I don't see why you want to. We're not even friends.”
He doesn't say anything for a moment. He just reaches over to get a new cotton pad and pours some disinfectant on it. He brings it to the cut above your lip. It stings but you force yourself not to react. He dabs it until it's clean. He retracts his hand.
“I want to be you friend.”
You laugh, not because you found it funny but because it was a little insane, because he says it like it's obvious.
“Be my friend?” You finally look at him. The look in his eyes tells you he wasn't joking. “That's rich coming from someone in your position. You do know becoming my friend will ruin your reputation at this school? Whatever popularity you have will be gone the second you claim me as a friend.”
It was the reality of this place. Everyone hated you, they didn't like how you were different, in the way you dress, think and act. They didn't like how you didn't bend to the wills of the students higher on this stupid hierarchy. Even the lowest of the lows stayed away from you. Everyone was afraid of those who ruled this school, they didn't want to get pushed down lower than they already were.
You brought up his popularity for a reason, you wanted to scare him off. Didn't want to ruin this precious soul's life just for hanging out with you. You didn't want rumors to cling to him like they did with you, didn't want anyone to talk down on him. You couldn't bare the thought. Even now as you both are completely alone, you're afraid of anyone catching you together.
“And what if I don't care?” You freeze, that was not the reaction you were expecting. He had said it so firmly, your lips part slightly.
“...Why? Why do you want to be my friend even after knowing full well what will happen?” You question. There wasn't anything about you that was so special that he should risk everything just to be your friend.
“Because, I admire you.” You look away cause there he goes again with those damn heart eyes, you wonder if he thinks he's being subtle about it.
“There's nothing to admire! I'm a lonely bitch who's always getting into fights!” You snap, lip quivering. He doesn't even flinch as his gaze remains steady on you.
“That's where you're wrong, Y/N.” He counters, “You are a strong person. You help students from those fucking assholes even if they show no gratitude afterwards. You get into all these fights just to protect people who won't even do the same for you.”
His voice breaks a bit, your heart tightens. You never looked at it like that. You only helped because you couldn't stand to see someone who couldn't fight back get thrown around like they were worthless pieces of shits. Even if they didn't say thank you, even if they ignored you in the halls afterwards, you'd do it again. Because that was who you were.
“You never complain, you don't even demand a thank you. You let them leave quietly, and you deal with everything else alone.” Seonghwa grabs your hand. Your knuckles are a little sore from the fight earlier. “I want to be your friend so I can stay by your side and protect you too. I know you're strong, but I want to be there so you don't have to carry this burden by yourself. You're not who those rumors say you are, you're so much more.”
The warm tears genuinely catch you by surprise, they fell before you could even stop them. No one's ever stood up for you, no one's ever wanted to see you for you and not from the rumors they've heard, no one even wanted to talk to you. And yet here this man was, saying he wants to stay by your side.
“I—” You can't speak. And even if you could, you wouldn't know what to say.
The silence overtakes the room after you draw a breath. His gaze doesn't waver, if anything it intensifies. He wipes your tears with the back of his finger, you let him. You should have stopped him. Yet you didn't. Perhaps the need for another human to care about you became too much. You swallow lightly.
“You can't just say things like that, what if someone heard and thought you liked me...” You mutter, now wiping your own tears. He doesn't miss a beat,
“Well they wouldn't exactly be wrong.” He says, voice low and serious. You flinch.
“Y—You really can't take a hint, can you?”
You've been trying to push him away, avoiding him in the halls as much as you can to avoid the topic of him being seen with you too much. When he wordlessly ushered you to the empty nurse's office after school hours and tends to the cuts and bruises on you, you tried being bitchy enough to have him fed up with you but he ended taking everything in silence and continued to clean you up everytime. It got to the point where you just let him do whatever because he didn't seem to have any notion of stopping anytime soon, he didn't care what you said.
...You couldn't lie, the new warmth you tried oh so hard to ignore was nice.
“No. Not when it comes to you. You're hurting inside, I want to be there for you whether if it's as a friend ...or something more.”
“Seonghwa...” You say his name because it's the only thing you can right now. The only thing that was a steady warmth in your dreary school life.
“I want to fight with you if you let me.” You look down when his warm hand rests on top of yours, there is something new. A feeling you never felt before, it's tingles at your skin touching his. You look back to his dark brown eyes, you feel your throat tightening.
“You don't know what you're getting yourself into.” You say quietly, there's an edge in your voice.
“I have an idea. And I'm willing—”
“And what if you don't stay? I wouldn't blame you, it's going to be terrible— before you had transferred there was someone before you. She... She left me because of how hard it was, she went through relentless bullying. Fuck they almost talked her into suicide. She had to leave, I don't blame her and never will.” You ramble on. “I can't bar—”
“I'm sorry about your friend but do you think it's alright for you to go through it alone?” He interrupts with urgency. Your breath hitches. Seonghwa was stubborn, you'd give him that. “You think it's okay for them to treat you like this?”
You shake your head, of course it wasn't okay what they did. You didn't get a say though. You could get into many fights with both girls and guys alike but the rumors kept circulating, the bullying keeps happening. The results stay the same. They said you had caused the death of your deceased mother. That one came out of nowhere, you never found out who came up with that it. Of course it wasn't true, yet it still hurt like a bitch.
“Then why won't you let me help? Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“I don't want you to get hurt as well.” You mutter. Seonghwa slides off the small chair he had been sitting on. He kneels in front of you. Your heart picks up.
“It wounds me how weak you think I am, Y/N.” His tone almost sounds like a scoff even as he tries to keep it light.
“S-Sorry...”
He holds your hand and doesn't say anything. Silence fills the space again, a type of silence that's tense. You study the boy as he studies you. Would it be so bad to let him in? Yes—of course, no doubt about it. If anything, you actually liked Seonghwa so there's no way you'd want to bring him along in this hell you called your life.
You freeze when he brings your hand to his face. The silence fills deeper with hot tension, increasing with each breath.
“Be selfish for once.” He whispers, pleading with you. “I don't want to see you loose yourself.”
Your lip twitches. You never knew how to be selfish, everything you did was for the best interest for others. Selfish... Your eyes look down to his lips and back up to his eyes. Were you capable? His words echo in your mind once, then twice. Louder by the third time that it makes your pulse quicken.
You lean down and kiss him. This time Seonghwa is taken aback. You slide down to the ground with him without breaking the kiss, you find yourself on his lap. You ignore the sting in you knuckles as you fist his hair to kiss him deeper. He tastes sweet and warm like vanilla which was very befitting. Seonghwa is responsive, kissing you back with equal passion. His hands rest at your waist like they belong. You feel something break in your chest, the tight lock that you kept on your heart at all times shatters. The walls you built come crumbling down and it's all Park Seonghwa's fault.
Seonghwa can feel it all in the kiss, the strain of holding back everything for all these years, the longing for someone who cares, the confusion and the fear, he feels all of it. This is impulsive of you, a spur of the moment. He's the one to break the kiss gently, he rests his forehead against yours as you both regain your breath.
“I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere.” He pants softly
“If it gets too much, promise me you'll leave.” You say barely above a whisper. Seonghwa's face twists in shock. He pulls back slightly, looking at you incredulously.
“You can't be serious—”
“I am. Promise me.”
“I can't do that Y/N. Why would I leave you if things get hard?” He sounds hurt.
“They might—”
“Fuck them, Y/N. Honestly,” he snaps. “I'm tired of how everything revolves around Do, Sung and the rest. They won't be able to do anything to me or you anymore, I won't let them. I just wished you trusted me.”
“I do. More than anyone in this school.” Your voice cracks.
“Then trust me that I won't leave you if it gets hard.”
“I-I just don't want anything bad to happen to you.”
“Baby,” the petname catches you off guard. Something flutters deep in your stomach, it's annoying but a little pleasant. He lifts your chin. “Stop worrying about others for once.”
He kisses your lips, it's softer than the first kiss you shared—more controlled.
“Forget everything for a moment. Think about yourself. You have me to help you.” He presses his lips against yours again, more genuine than the last. It was certain, full of emotions. You let yourself go, finally letting your heart to open.
It is strange. You never saw yourself having any interest in anyone, thinking you'd be alone for the rest of highschool and perhaps even college. You didn't let yourself feel sadness from the thought at the time. Now, you're letting someone in for real because he chose you. There is still anxiety about this whole thing deep inside but Seonghwa had proven that he wasn't going to give up easily...
The soft kiss leaves you feeling tingly when you finally pulled away. His hand lingers on your chin just as the soft feeling does. His thumb swipes across your bottom lip.
“I think we need to get you home so you can rest. You had a long day...” He observes, his finger lightly touching the soon to be scar above your lip.
His hands go to your hips and he pats them slightly. You quickly get off him, feeling embarrassment in your chest. He puts away the supplies he used on you. Then he turns to you and holds his hand out causally like it was a normal thing. You hesitate half a second before just taking his hand.
To your dismay when you exited the nurse's office the halls weren't completely empty... Your heart picks up in fear when people notice who he was walking with. You wanted to let go, to separate yourself for his sake. He just holds your hand tighter and basically pulls you along, ignoring all the shocked stares. You couldn't tell what anyone was thinking, were they angry? curious? full of hatred? You didn't know.
When you near the exit, the whispers begin. Seonghwa gives your hand a squeeze, a reminder that he was here. This was definitely going to be circulating around the whole school by tomorrow, you were already dreading waking up tomorrow.
When you guys finally exit the building, you feel like you can breath again. The tenseness of your muscles relax, but only slightly. Maybe it was nice having someone by your side...
“I'm driving you home.” His hand holding yours does none of the sorts to let go, already finalizing the decision with no chance of arguing. He just pulls you over to his car.
He opens the door for you and ushers you in. You get comfortable as he makes it round to the driver's side. He gives you a look before starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. You look to your lap, entangled with your inner thoughts.
Something falls onto your lap, slightly startling you. You turn to look at him wondering why he gave you his phone. He tells you the passcode to your surprise.
“My phone's connected. Play anything you like. Maybe something you listen to when you need comfort.” His voice is quiet as if speaking any louder would turn you into ash. You just nod.
The soft sound of Debussy's arabesque fills the car. Your mother used to play the piano whenever she could while you were growing up. This was one of the melodies that stick from her fading memories. Whenever you listen to it, it makes you feel... closer. Somehow. You grit your teeth to keep your eyes from wetting themselves.
Seonghwa doesn't say a word, as the sound of the piano fills the car. He just listens. He could tell from the expression on your face that this piece held some worth to you. Something dear, something special.
The whole ride is silent—besides the occasional directions from you—as the music soothes the journey into something soft. By the time he parks into your driveway and kills the engine, he notices that you weren't tense anymore.
The sound of your seatbelt clicking as you remove it is loud in the still silence. You look at him.
“Thank you.” Your voice is quieter than you wished. “For everything. Really”
“Don't worry about it,” he tells you. Then a thought. “I'm serious. I don't want you to stay up worrying about tomorrow. We'll take baby steps. First we'll inform the principal and move on from there.”
“Baby steps,” you repeat.
“Yes baby steps. We'll dethrone those assholes and hopefully get the school to be... Normal.”
You didn't hear his next words, too stuck up on the way he said "we." It wasn't just you anymore. You let your chest ease on that.
“Yeah,” you breath out, interrupting him without meaning too. Seonghwa pauses. Then he breaks into a soft smile with those damn heart eyes again.
𝓰enre; nonidol!changbin x gn! reader, best friends to lovers, conflicting romance, crossing the line romance, confession, slight angst, fluff, heartwarming ⸝⸝ 𝔀ord count; 2.2k ⸝⸝ 𝔀arnings; inner conflict, slight panic attack, swearing, confession, lemme know if I missed any ⸝⸝ 𝓻ead time; 8:19
서창빈 ~ 𖤝⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺.₊⋆˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🍿🛋️˚˖𓍢ִ💛˚.
💫ᝰ.ᐟ hi everyone! i wanted to try something new hehe i hope you guys like this :3 i just needed to write something for binnie and i felt the need for gentle!bin teehee 🤭 he has joined my bias line officially a few months ago. i've only realized it recently but he's been my bias for a while, i'm only now starting to connect the dots lol
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(pt 1)
★ synopsis —
you like him? of course you do. you want him, you need him———— ...you don't want to lose him. it's all so confusing to feel such conflicts when you wake up on top of your.. best friend.
— ꒰ > ⋆ < ꒱
The morning creeps up softly unbeknownst to you two. It whispers something soft that neither of you could hear, too deep into the dreamful slumber that takes a hold of unconscious your states.
The reminents of yesterday lay littered around the room. A bowl of popcorn mostly finished with little pieces scattered around the carpeted floors. Empty mugs that still smell of the warm hot chocolate that once filled it. And the few pillows that were pushed off the couch subconsciously.
The gold rays of the sun slowly seeps into the upstairs living room from the sheer yellow curtains—the very ones that you had suggested cause you told him yellow was a happy color, he of course didn't hesitate to buy them. It—the rays—tips into the room slowly as the sun starts making it's awaited appearance to this side of the world.
Your breath is steady, rising and falling in a sync. The soft inhales and exhales fill the room with a rhythm, almost musically because peace was always beautiful.
There's a shift in your breathing, slowly you begin gaining consciousness. The warmth is so cozy, you almost slip right back into the sleep that wanted to take ahold of you once more. It almost does. Until your mind notices a difference.
For one, this wasn't your bed. No. Your bed wasn't this warm and ...hard. Your eyes flutter open slightly — blurring with sleep, you blink to fight the sleepiness. Your mind vaguely remembers the previous night; it started with a movie, friendly bickering, and then popcorn was eventually thrown at each other. The TV stares back at you in standby mode, more proof that the movie night wasn't some weird but accurate dream of you and Changbin.
A faint smile graces your lips before your eyes flutter shut. Another overwhelming attempt of sleep tries to overtake you, you blamed the warmth. During the appreciation of delicious comfort the thought occurs to you that you had fallen asleep at your best friend Changbin's house. It wasn't an unordinary thing for you to have sleepovers at his house. Yet you wonder why it's so... warm.
That's when you notice the steadiness of another heartbeat. It wasn't your own. The thought startles you awake. Your brain now clear as you fully open your eyes.
There you are laying dead on top of your best friend — you're completely on him that you could feel his chest move up and down with his breathing underneath your own. You are fully aware of him now, his soft breath fanning on your forehead, his arm that's tightened around your waist, how muscular his body feels against yours, and how your legs tangle with his. His clean comforting scent fills your nose.
It was hard not to notice these things, not when you're literally laying on top of him. You slightly tilt your head and get a look at his face. His eyes are closed—the lashes fan almost delicately on his cheeks, his curly hair fall messily in his face which makes your heart do a weird thing. A weird thing you notice has been happening a bit too much lately.
You've seen Changbin sleeping before, it wasn't new to you. What surprises you is how you feel this time. You just want to run your fingers on his face—the urge gets stronger when he shifts, face scrunching up a little. That made your heart do summersaults.
How did you both end up like this, tangled up and cuddling? —this was dangerous territory. You knew that. And yet... You wanted to freeze time and stay like this for just a moment longer than life would allow, to bask in his scent and warmth for a little longer. Maybe you cursed yourself by wishing that cause just in that moment, your best friend open's his eyes.
You go ridged, a flash of heat crawls up your neck to your cheeks. Changbin looks pleasantly confused, still drowsy with sleep that makes him look cuter than he ought to be. His lips tug softly at the corners and his eyes locked on you. You swallow.
That look that he gives you, this wasn't the first time he looked at you like this. Whenever he did, you tried not to notice the deeper meaning behind it because you knew that he shouldn't be looking at you like this. There was a line that you shouldn't cross. A giant red line with clear rules. And yet here you are both toeing that very line.
Deep down you know you want to push at it — cross it and enter the dangerous territory you know you can never come back from as much as you tried. Those were your intrusive thoughts, you always tell yourself. The excuse was sounding less and less truthful by the day.
“Good morning,” he says finally after staring at you. His voice is laced with that morning rasp that makes you shiver ever so slightly. You blink once. Then twice before responding with a small mumbled good morning.
“Sorry for falling asleep on ya.” you try to make your voice sound lighter than it truly was as you attempt to detangle yourself from him. He doesn't let you go though, his strong arm keeps you in place as he pouts. “Binnie...”
Your warning voice comes out weak, almost helpless. Reluctantly he lets go and you sit on the couch next to his legs. You don't say anything else. He doesn't either, just stares at you from his laying position on the couch.
You don't know if you want to know what he's thinking—you can already guess that if you did, the line would have been blurred. And you didn't know if you were brave enough for that either.
He's your best friend!
You can't be having feelings for him like this.
But he made it impossible not to cause he's well... He's Seo Changbin. The person who's been at your side for almost two decades now, the one who knows what your silences mean, the one who knows why you prefer comedy over drama any day, the one who comforts you when you're sad or brings out your truest smiles. He knows all the little details about your life, your secrets, dreams and fears—he knows them all. And it was the same with him, you knew him like the back of your hand. So maybe you do know what he's thinking right now. But you want to ignore it. Not because you're cruel, it's because you're scared.
Scared to lose the years of friendship.
Scared to lose the only person you could rely on — the one person who knows the real you.
What if it doesn't work out? You've heard of friends who ended up dating, only to break up realizing that it wouldn't work out—they could never go back to the way it was before. It's different with you and Changbin cause you're each other's best friend. You didn't have anything like this with anyone else.
Let's say you did end up going through with these feelings and it doesn't work out? Not only would it cut deeper because you can't go back, you'll lose of the spark to your boring life.
So you choose the safe option. Stay his best friend and have him by your side forever, that would be enough. You count the pieces of popcorn scattered on the carpet. Is it enough? There's 18 pieces of popcorn. That's how many years you've known Changbin. Do you want to risk that?
It takes all that is in you to turn and look at the man next to you. His hand rests underneath his arm, basically still in the position you awoke in. You bite the inside of your cheek, as your heart stutters. You curse yourself for finding that attractive.
He sits up suddenly causing you to flinch ever so slightly, he's really close—thighs barely a centimeter apart close.
“You're overthinking again.” He murmurs as his shoulder brushes yours. Stupid 18 years of friendship, of course he knows you're overthinking. He says your name and you almost collapse. “Overthinking is scary sometimes... I've been.. trying not to let it get to me, myself.
“I know you're scared. But you shouldn't let those thoughts win over what's going on deep in your heart.” Fuck. “I have a feeling I know just what you're stressing about.”
His voice is soft, using that tone reserved for serious conversations with you. Double fuck. His eyes dart away from yours nervously for a moment which causes your heartbeat to quicken, loud enough that it's pounding in your ears.
“I... Y/N, please don't burry your feelings. I like you and I know you like me too. Actually no. I love you. I love you to the point that I cannot keep it hidden inside me any longer.” You can't even control your heart right now, it beats and stutters like a fool not knowing how to react because it's obviously not like those other times he's said it, you know he means he loves you in a romantic way. “I was going to tell you last night but you fell asleep before I could. I just know that you're my person and that I want to spend my whole life with you.”
Isn't that what you wanted? To spend your life with Changbin at your side? He's proposing the same lifestyle you wanted. So why can't you move your lips to speak? You should say yes, you dummy! He takes your hand softly.
“Y/N, say something. Please.”
You open your mouth but no words come out. Why do you feel like you're suffocating? Like you were forced to hold your breath? Your eyes sting softly, a steady buzz as the tears blur your vision. You don't want to loose him. You can't loose him. He's your everything. He's your... everything.
The tears slips down your cheek, you manage to look away. The realization comes in like a form of a cloud, dizzying your thoughts. He's all you want. There was no one else. It always was him.
“Y/N..” His voice is concerned at the sudden river of tears. His hold on your hand tightens, you look back to him at the sudden squeeze. “I'm sorry. I—I.”
He stutters, obviously shocked at your emotional state. You miss the flicker of doubt that appears on his face but it disappears as soon as it comes before you could catch it. Your breaths becomes a stutter, leaving your lips with great trial. He reads your face and somehow understands the complex puzzle of emotions displaying in your expression—in your eyes, the current panicked state you're in.
“I'm here. Breath, Y/N. I'm not going anywhere. Ever.” He looks you in the eye and in the most gentlest voice he says that he promises. Promises not to leave you...
And just like that, something eases in your chest. The tightness in your throat slowly leaves up at the genuineness in his tone. Changbin was never one to break his promises. Maybe that was what you wanted to hear all along—confirmation against the fears, the fight against the doubt. He laces his fingers in yours, rubbing the back of your skin. With his free hand he wipes away the tears that had spilled across your cheeks.
“Breathe.” He asks you to again. You listen and do as told, following his ins and outs until you feel your body calm down.
He holds his arms out. You don't hesitate to go into his arms. Changbin rubs small circles into your back, his clean scent grounds you. You calm down, as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear. It was scary how quickly he figured out the main source to your panic, perhaps it wasn't so hard because it was his fear too at some point. People do recognize the familiar.
Changbin doesn't say anything for awhile after you had calmed down. You don't say anything either. How could you? You just soaked his shirt with tears and probably snot too—not that it was the first time. However given the circumstances, it was much more embarrassing now. Your fingers tremble slightly as they cling to the hem of your shirt.
You try to find your voice.
“I...” You trail off as he looks to you. What do you say? Thoughts swarm your head, overthinking once again. He pulls you closer in that moment, pulling you into his lap causing your heart to start up in a frantic pulse once more.
“You don't have to say anything. Not yet. You can speak when you're ready.” Changbin whispers softly.
As nervous as you were to be sitting in his lap, it was comforting. You rest your head in the crook of his neck, snaking your arms around his fit build. You take a minute, just breathing.
“I-I don't want to loose you.” You whisper, voice a little hoarse. Subconsciously your hold tightens a little, he feels the change. “...I'm scared.”
“I understand, bunny.” His hand twists a lock of your hair in between his fingers. “You don't have to be scared cause I promise, I'm not going anywhere. I mean it. I love you and I want to be with you forever. It's all I want, but if you don—”
“I want that too.” you cut him off, closing your eyes. You lean closer into him. He does not complain, holding you close.
These feelings seemed to have come out of nowhere ..but perhaps they've always been here, deep inside, growing more and more everyday. It was definitely easy for them to grow, because you always felt safe with Changbin. Maybe you had nothing to be afraid of all this time...
This has been my main argument against "AI" from the very beginning.
OpenAI scraped the entire web. All of which had been a labor of love from humans. Wikipedia is the backbone of a lot of LLMs, and that was volunteer human labor. They stole it and now they're selling it back to us.
And worse, they're trying to destroy the free sources that they stole from. It's destruction of human knowledge on an unprecedented scale. The burning of the library of Alexandria has nothing on this.
Idk if y'all notice but every time I post a fic, on the fic's respective fandom masterlist under the "now featuring" I write silly little notes, add random dialogue or literally anything that I feel like for the featuring description/teaser. It's lowkey my favorite part of posting haha. That random teaser is usually up until I post another work to replace that fic. The actual synopsis is on the masterlist too, it's just under the member category lol
This was random I know but I just felt like telling you all :)
𝓰enre; nonidol!changbin x gn!reader, best friends to lovers, crush, oblivious feelings, falling ⸝⸝ 𝔀ord count; 3.2k ⸝⸝ 𝔀arnings; brief home purchasing, friendly bickering, fluffy cute shit, mentioning of hitting(it's playful tho), use of 'good girl' to annoy reader, pet name bunny is used, swearing, lemme know I missed any ⸝⸝ 𝓻ead time; 12:00
서창빈 ~ 𖤝⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺.₊⋆˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🏠🧺˚˖𓍢ִ💛˚.
💫ᝰ.ᐟ hm. confession, this was actually written after part two hehe idk :)
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(pt 2)
★ synopsis —
you are the center of his world, however you—of course—are oblivious to that fact. you're oblivious to the fact that it's the same for you as well. he wants to cross the line that has been blurred, and yet he's not sure if you feel the same way. that's sad but... yellow's a happy color
— ꒰ > ⋆ < ꒱
When he switched jobs you were the first to know. When he got that new promotion you were also the first to know. And of course when he was thinking about buying his first house, you were the one to accompany him for house viewing.
Changbin listened to all your opinions and concerns, he thought them through carefully. So carefully indeed, the real estate agent had thought you both were a couple looking for a home. There was a blushing mess after having to explain that one — the agent couldn't believe you two weren't together.
You both agreed on a house eventually. It had to be the both of you because Changbin insisted on purchasing a home that you would like too, after all you were his best friend and definitely going to be spending a lot of time there anyways, "What's the point of me buying it if you don't like it enough to want to stay there forever?" were his words. He knew you weren't exactly sure what he meant by that but you had fun helping nonetheless.
Once he signed the papers for the house, he had begged you to come shopping with him for the house. It didn't take much convincing cause you liked spending time with him anyway.
Changbin pushes the cart, trailing behind you like a lost puppy. He did make a list of stuff that he needed and you both were following it to a T. The next thing on the list is curtains, Changbin liked his privacy so curtains are very much needed for his first night at the house.
It didn't take long to find the section for curtains, he looks around for a short moment before turning back to you. His eyes soften slightly. You look at the selections of curtains, made of different or similar fabrics and all the colors you could possibly want. He really didn't care about curtains right now when you asked of his preference for the house.
“What do you suppose is nice?” He asks, leaning on the cart. You scoff a little.
“You keep asking what I think is good. It's your house Changbin.” You remind him for like umpteenth time.
“Our house.” He smiles, correcting you as if the statement was true enough to be used as an excuse. You roll your eyes.
“My name's not even on the papers,” you say.
“That's because you refused, Y/N.” You pout, well he wasn't lying... He did want to put your name on the papers, making it officially 'our house' but you declined. People were already getting the wrong ideas of your relationship, living together would just make it worse.
And if any of you were to end up in the sea of dating again, it would be really weird to explain to the new partner.
“Well?” He nods his head gesturing to the curtains. You sigh, knowing that he would keep bugging until you tell him which ones you liked most. Well there was one set of curtains that you thought would look nice with the living room...
You pick them up and show it to him. The curtains are sheer, silk and yellow with soft swirly embroidery at the bottom.
“These would look nice in the upstairs living room.” You say, envisioning them up on the windows already.
“Yellow?” he questions, not in a way that's belittling your choice but rather in a way of wanting to know all the little reasons why you chose those curtains out of all the others so he can keep that in mind for future reference.
“Yellow... Yellow's a happy colour.” You answer softly. He looks at you, patiently waiting for more. So you explain further, “they'll look good there cause the windows are facing east. When the natural light of dawn comes in they'll make the room brighter. Lively and happy. It'll wake you up in a good mood too.”
You give him a small smile, always grateful that Changbin never thought of you weird even though you liked the little details everyone tend to overlook. He returns you smile and inches closer to grab the curtains.
“It's settled, we'll be getting these. Now which do you think would look best for the primary bedroom?” He drops them into the cart full of the stuff he put in only if you liked them. You shake your head slightly but comply giving your opinion.
The rest of the day went just the same, he asked what you liked fot pretty much everything. At this point it seemed like you were at the store looking for furniture and decor for you, not him. He seemed genuinely happy letting you pick out everything even though you told him it would be better if he just picked out stuff he liked. He only shrugged and answered with "I like everything you picked out." You stopped complaining after that.
In the car he thanks you for your help as he drives down the calm road.
“But I did all the work!” You sigh, sitting back in the passenger seat. He chuckles.
“I guess you did.” He hums as a train of thought passes. He turns to look at you teasingly, “I'm guessing that means I should give you a reward then?”
You flush slightly. “I—I— Eyes on the road mister!”
He chuckles again but complies, his eyes back on the road where they're supposed to be. You make a face when he's not looking. Your chest feels strange but you ignore it.
“Where are we going?” You ask when you notice this was not the way to your apartment. He glances sideways at you for a just a small moment.
“To get you a reward for helping,” he says, tone causal and chill.
“I'm not a dog. I helped because I wanted to.”
“Doesn't mean I don't get to spoil you a bit for helping.” He says as he pulls up to the parking of that one ice cream shop he knows you can't resist. You lips part for a second.
“I... I guess I do deserve a reward sometimes,” you say quietly. The quickness made you wonder if self-esteem was in the room— or in this case car — with you because you just folded under zero pressure. Changbin grins, cheekily.
“That's a good girl.” If he wasn't buying you ice cream right now you would have definitely hit him. Instead,
“Seo Changbin,” you warn, eyes narrowing. He holds his hands up in quick surrender.
“Relax bunny.” He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car. “Your usual madam?”
“Of course.” You couldn't help but smile at his silly antics, he bows before heading to the shop.
The soft music of the playlist you and Changbin made almost 10 years ago for driving together floats through the now silence, you guys update it every year with your current tastes. Now thinking of it you guys haven't updated it yet for this year. You should bring it up to Changbin.
You open your phone to notice missed texts from your friend. You open it up; Halin's asking to hang out today. That was almost 8 hours ago.
Me: Halin I'm so sorry! I was
helping Changbin with
furniture shopping... 🥲
Halin's response comes quick.
Halinie: i figured as much haha
you've been spending a lot of
time with him lately 👀
↑ you thumbs down to this 👎
Halinie: hope you had fun
though!! we can always hang
out another time
me: thanks for being
understanding 🥹 i'm free next
weekend if that's fine we can
meet then?
Halinie: ofc?? i won't be
missing any chance to see your
sexy face 🤭
Halinie: and tell Bin I said hi
lol
me: you know just how to make
me blush you annoying brat 🙈
me: i will<3
Hm. Maybe you have been spending a lot more time with Changbin lately... but you wanted to. The driver door opens, reveling Changbin. He slips in his seat before holding up the paper cup with your ice cream to you. You take it eagerly.
“Binnie, thank you!” Your eyes sparkle at the cold treat in your hand. You waste no time taking a bite, it was definitely what you needed after being dragged to many different stores all day.
“You're very welcome.” He looks at you for a split second longer before eating his own ice cream. You take another bite.
“Harin says hi,” you say, not really caring that your mouth is full.
“Harin?”
“Yep. I was just texting her. Oh by the way Binnie, we should update this playlist, we have yet to.”
“Alright, whatever you want.” He smiles looking forward.
⪩⪨
He had asked you to help him unpack, of course you said yes. How could you not? He's your best friend ...and well lately you've been missing him more than usual. You just couldn't go more than 3 days without seeing him or else you'd get extra clingy the next time you saw him. It didn't concern you. He's your best friend, it's normal for best friends to want to see each other often. Right?
Unpacking was calm in your chaotic way. He did most of the heavy lifting and building of the furniture while you helped him figure out where exactly he should place everything.
“And remind me, how is this me helping again?” You ask, tilting your head. Your legs swing slightly off the edge of the countertop you're currently sitting on.
There are a few boxes littered around the room that are labeled kitchen. The room is lit up by the two tall windows on the far right. Changbin finishes setting up the coffee machine before standing next to your legs.
“You're keeping me company, I consider that helping.” He smiles widely as if that was an answer. You cross your arms at your chest.
“Yeah? Well I don't think that counts.”
“Really? But you look so cute just sitting here, gives me all the motivation to finish faster so I can just admire you,” he teases, leaning against the counter.
“Bin, you can't just say things like... that!” You divert your eyes, flustered. He just laughs. Your lips form into an annoyed pout. “Surely you're going to let me do something.”
You hop off the counter, he doesn't stop you. You walk over to one of the boxes and open it up. There's a few dishes and cutlery inside.
“Like putting away these...?” You turn to him, holding a dish. “I'm not taking no for an answer.”
You stick your tongue out at him before you begin putting the dishes in their respective places. He watches you for a minute with a fond smile on his lips that you didn't get the chance to see. He walks over and you both out everything away like a team.
“See? We go much faster when I help.” He pats your head and you make a face, annoyed by how much you like that.
You guys move on to the living space. Changbin was pissing you off with his stupid jokes so you threw packing beans at him while he laughed.
During the whole unpack duty, you felt your heart clench multiple times. It was strange, really strange—especially when you started to notice things that you hadn't noticed before... Your eyes seem to have a mind of their own, always looking when his muscles flexed. You notice how his dark blue almost black shirt seems tighter around his biceps, did he get ever bigger? Why was that even a question in your mind— Snap out of it!
The living room starts to look like a home as the boxes begin to leave, a home with small hints of both of you. Hm. That shouldn't feel as good as it did...
“Is it straight?” You ask over your shoulder as you hold the painting steady and in place while balancing on a stool. Changbin takes a look.
“Tilt it a little to the right,” you do as he instructs. “A little more...”
“Is it good now—?” You freeze cause you feel him right behind you, one of his hands rest on your back in a respectful place. He gently pulls your right arm with his free hand to even out the painting.
“There.” He says and takes a few steps back. You let out a breath you didn't know you had begin holding. You quickly get off the stool, afraid you might fall because of your suddenly wobbly legs.
“Thanks for you help, Y/N.” He grins. You look away.
“Yeah. No problem...” You don't get why you're so flustered.
“Ah! By the way, I have something for you.” With that he heads to the bedroom.
You're not sure what this something was. It better not be some sort of reward like last time — this time you wouldn't be swayed so easily. Changbin returns not long after. He holds out his fist, waiting. You almost roll your eyes when you realize, you hold your palm out to receive whatever this thing was. He drops a key in your hand and smiles as you understand what it was.
“Come over whenever you want, bunny.”
⪩⪨
A movie night. That's what he said this was. Just a normal night with him like the many times you hung out in this house with him. Its been weeks since you guys had decorated the place, Changbin had grown accustomed to the new space in the days leading up.
He is excited for your arrival, he hums a small tune as he gets the snacks ready. A mixture of both your favorite sweet and salty treats that you guys especially enjoy while watching stupid comedy movies. And of course he couldn't forget your favorite must need drink, hot chocolate. You don't care if it's winter, summer or any time, hot chocolate was life. Strange thing yes, but your consistent and he likes that about you.
He hears the front door open, he's not alarmed though, he gave you your own key the same day you came to help him unpack. He hears you shuffling your shoes off to change into your house slippers he keeps by the door just for you.
“Bin?” Your sweet voice calls out to him. His chest flutters.
“I'm in the kitchen!” He calls back as he pours the chocolate drink into the matching mugs. Your footsteps tells him that you're coming this way. His heart picks up. It's just a normal movie night, he tells himself. And yet he can't help but feel giddy by how domestic this situation can be interpreted to. He definitely wouldn't mind playing house wife if that's what you wanted.
You appear in the doorway, a slight smile on your face. You are in some long pj pants, a hello kitty tank top, and your face is bare. Something in the air tells him that this is not going to be just some normal movie night.
“Bin..?” You break him out of his weird trance.
“Y/N. Hi,” he says as his face breaks into a smile. He notices the plastic bag that you're holding.
“I brought oreos.” You say, holding up the bag. You walk further into the kitchen and sniff the air. “Is that hot chocolate?”
You can't keep the smile off your face when he nods. You walk up and peer over, your matching mugs are full with the delicious chocolatey drink.
“Help me carry these to the living room?” You nod once and grab the tray of treats along with the oreos.
Carefully, you follow Changbin up the stairs. You notice that the living room was already fixed for your movie night, a ton of blankets and pillows for comfort lay on the couch in a semi neat uniform. After placing the tray of snacks down and the cocoa, you and Changbin make yourselves comfortable. The movies were prepicked from an earlier hangout, so there was no time wasted trying to figure out what to watch.
There is a gap between you both as the screen glows brighter for the intro of the movie, a respectable gap. A very normal gap, one that is usually there when you sit on this very couch together. It wasn't even a foot apart, hardly eight inches—yet to him you felt too far away. He wanted to sit closer.
As the movie progresses and the snacks drain, the gap lessens by a little. He's not sure if he's being subtle or not. You don't seem to notice, it was just a little scoot anyways... Changbin can hardly focus now, the sound of your little laughs at the silly dialogue, how cute you look in your pjs being so comfortable around him — your facial features being illuminated by the screen in front seemed to be more interesting. Before he knows it, the movie had already ended.
He blinks when you catch him looking. Your brow raises as if waiting but you don't say anything. You both reach for the remote at the same time and your fingers brush. You yank your hand back at the same time he does at the current that flows through your arms.
“I-I thought you didn't hear me.” You say flustered, not really looking at him. Well he didn't, you didn't need to know they though. Changbin mumbles an apology before putting on the next movie on your marathon list.
His mind drifts, wondering what would happen if he just confesses to you right then and there, tell you that he likes you and had liked you for awhile now.
The feelings.. they just happened. It was a well known silent rule not to fall for your best friend, not to cross any lines. And yet here he was definitely willing to cross the line. The problem was were you willing to as well?
Changbin had observed your behavior for weeks now, something definitely changed. He was almost 90% sure you reciprocated his feelings. The way you held your breath when he was near, your lingered gaze on him, flushing at the slightest touch—it almost made him giddy because they were signs you could have liked him back. Was he really willing to risk everything on just mere little signs?
Halfway through the second movie as Changbin has internal battles with himself, you are full of junk food, in the company of your favorite person ever while watching your favorite genre, completely content. Your eye lids feel heavy. You blink the sleep away, trying to stay awake. It's futile cause they just droop again. You take a small look at your friend wondering when he had gotten so close.
Changbin bites the inside of his cheek, the actors on the screen are speaking but he doesn't hear a word they say. He runs a hand through his hair, fuck it.
“Y/N, I want to talk about some—” His sentence is cut off in his throat, he makes a soft noise of surprise when the weight of your head falls onto his shoulder.
You had fallen asleep. A soft smile forms on his lips as amusement leaves his nose. Your face is adorable. The situation has prevented him from saying his true feelings... He doesn't feel angry or even disappointment. Perhaps it had just saved him from devasting rejection.
His lip twitches. He shouldn't... Changbin moves his arm to wrap around you, against his better judgement. You move closer in your sleep, resting your head on his chest. His heart picks up which was silly because he was the one who wrapped his arm around you first. It wasn't his first time hugging you, yet if feels different somehow. Changbin rests his head back, staring up at the ceiling. He was indeed cooked.
ATTENTION‼️ if your a kpop fan or ILLIT stan, please read this
a group of russian saesangs from telegram by the name of "floplit" are planning to attack the ILLIT members at their next fan sign event, using soft toys laced with chloroform to harm their lungs and make them pass out.
please reblog this post as much as you can, spread the word, and file a report to HYBE.
a tutorial to report artist endangerment to HYBE is linked here
i just heard about this situation and we need to spread awareness so that HYBE will take action. use the hashtag #protectillit on all social media platforms, most importantly weverse since the app is run by HYBE.
do not saesangs get away with harming idols like this. if this situation is somehow a false threat, i'd rather be safe then sorry.
FILE A REPORT TO HYBE. PROTECT ILLIT FROM SAESANGS
( screenshotted evidence under the cut, please tell me if any of these are fake )
@tsumiinum @emochuuu @wonlicious @fuyunel @flutterdashes @deariroha @onlyonehee @yuuuraaa @astro-apple + any one else whod like to reblog !! we need to spread this fast .
𝓰enre; seungmin x fem!reader, exs to lovers, first love, post breakup, bittersweet, second chance, cute ⸝⸝ 𝔀ord count; 2.7k ⸝⸝ 𝔀arnings; club scene, mentions of alcohol, creeps, fear, kissing, getting back with your ex(don't do it), petname(love), lemme know if I missed anything! ⸝⸝ 𝓻ead time; 10:09
김승민 ~ 𖤝⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺.₊⋆˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🍸🎤˚˖𓍢ִ💙˚.
💫ᝰ.ᐟ ignore the crappy title, I just got lazy <//3
ততততততততততততততততততততততততত
★ synopsis —
meeting your ex for the first time since your breakup unprepared turns your night down a path you never expected.
— ꒰ > ⋆ < ꒱
You don't drink, you never do. Getting drunk in public settings was something you weren't too fond of. It's not that you never tasted alcohol ever in your life, you did. Hell you had your fair share of the stuff. You knew your limits, what your preference was, and all else that you needed to know to know your way around liquor.
If you were to have a drink out in public you'd keep it to a minimum of one single cocktail. Never heavy.
You just didn't need a drink to have a good time with your girls.
The EDM music blares through the speakers and out into the young night. You and your friends jump around to the beat, you seem to be the only coordinated one—your friends ranged from tipsy to straight out wasted but none of you seem to mind. The different states of you each is just what seemed to make your group gain the attention of others.
Saehee yells into the air the lyrics of the next song the second the beat drops. You five automatically join along with her silly antics, screaming along all while dramatizing your dance moves, moving left to right accordingly.
You don't even remember what prompted this outing, it had been in the calendar for weeks before Ruha dragged everyone out by threatening to steal everyone's shoe laces when they least expected. It had done the trick well, no one doubted that she would indeed steal their laces. Ruha was crazy like that.
“Why didn't we do this sooner?!” Miyeori has to shout to be heard over the music as she leans closer to you. It had been awhile since the whole gang was able to hangout like this, you shrug.
“No fucking clue but we definitely needed this!” You say equally as loud. You had known Miyeori the longest, she—you would say, is the person that knows you the best.
You bump Miyeori with your hip playfully. She does the same, giggling in the process.
The song shifts into something calmer than the previous one but it was still pretty hype. You stretch your arms, getting ready to join Saehee in her dancing shenanigans when Miyeori taps your shoulder rapidly to get your attention.
“What?”
“Isn't that your ex?” She asks you. You don't even look to see who she was talking about, giving her a weird face.
“Girl, he lives hours from here” You tilt your head slightly. You feel a surge of complicated feelings rush up your throat but you push them away.
Thanks to Miyeori, your two week streak of not thinking about your ex had been crushed. You and him had ended on shakey terms, you hated how your brain replayed the moment at terrible times. You had to end things. That you'd always told yourself firmly. Besides he most certainly had forgotten about you by now, you were so sure on that fact—you used it as a tool to gaslight yourself into not loving him anymore. Miyeori shrugs, bringing her attention back to your other friends.
Just to be sure though, you take a quick looksie. No one behind you see matched the profile of your ex to your relief. It shocks you a little to find yourself holding your breath, it had been 2 years for fucks sake.
You suck your teeth at yourself and shake your head returning to the present. Saehee is basic doing limbo with how low she's going, you go over and start cheering her on to go even lower.
⪩⪨
You fan yourself slightly, starting to feel the heat of your prior movements. You're still on the dance floor but near the edge cause you stopped dancing. You feel the burning sensation of eyes on you. You had felt them earlier but you for some reason couldn't find who they belong to. There was just something about the feeling... It was hard to ignore. You move away just in time before someone accidentally hits you with their arm as they danced more violently than Saehee.
You wanted to snap because of the intense feeling of eyes you couldn't shake off. You look around again however this time your eyes meet someone else's. Your heart nearly stops and your mouth almost parts wide. His eye contact does not waver. You're frozen in place.
It is Seungmin.
Your ex.
What the fuck is he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be in Seoul? You weren't... You weren't supposed to see him again.
Seungmin on the other hand shows no emotions indicating your presence had effected him. Instead he holds your eyes steady, it's hard for you to break away. It's like he wanted you to know that he had been here—watching you ever since you had felt the stares. He just sits near the bar alone, swirling a drink slowly as if he were hypnotizing someone.
Fuck.
Fuck!
You begin to panic. He... He still looks the same. Maybe that's what makes your heart ache more than it should. He was still your Seungmin. You blink rapidly. No. He wasn't yours, you had ended things. You had ended things. So why did he get to be the only calm and collected one in this situation? You suck in a sharp inhale through your nose and smoothed your skirt down. You promptly turn away.
You weren't about to let him ruin your night out with your friends.
Speaking of your friends, where did they run off to? The dance floor had suddenly gotten packed from the time window of your eyes holding contact. You decide to just stay where you were instead of joining the many bodies while searching for your friends. It would be easier for them to spot you on the outskirts of the crowd.
You knew the song playing so you didn't feel awkward swaying and singing along by yourself.
As you wait for your friends to make their appearance, eyes surveying the area. You notice a different set of eyes on you. A trio of guys. You couldn't hear their conversation but it was clear they were talking about you. You make eye contact with one of them, the look in his eye made you regret even looking his way. Your eyes snap away, attempting to ignore whatever just happened all while hoping you had just imagined the strange feeling.
It hadn't been a minute since the interaction when he, the guy approaches you. Your eyes widen nervously. He smirks down at you, tilting his head just a bit. He's a little shakey, clearly on something.
“What's a pretty girl like you dancing alone?” He asks.
“Oh, I'm not alone,” you say quickly, barely loud enough to hear over the music.
“Sure looks like you're alone to me. Lucky for you I'm a great dance partner.” He reaches out but you quickly lengthen a gap between you both.
“No thank you.”
“Come on woman, don't be like that.” His smirk gets bigger, leaning into your space. He reaches out again. “I can—”
“I have a boyfriend.” You blurt out. His face instantly drops into a scowl.
“I don't see him.” His arms cross. That's when his two friends begin to approach, they did not look any more friendly than he did. In fact they looked scarier than the man trying to hit on you.
You feel the same burning sensation of eyes on you, it feels stronger. You turn and make eye contact with Seungmin. Instantly you walk over to him before the guy's friends could reach you. You walk to him with no hesitation, fear driving you.
When you reach him, you couldn't even look him in the eye. You tap his shoe with your heel lightly. Wordlessly he spreads his legs just enough for you to stand between them, you lean against him for good measure.
You both watch the guys glare in your direction before moving over to the far end of the club, taking a hint. Your body relaxes in relief before tensing up again with realization of what you had just done.
You fucked up big time. Big big time. You remove yourself from him.
“I—” The words fall silent on your lips.
You couldn't say anything.
So of course —
you run.
You run all the way to the girls restroom in a panic. Why the fuck had you done that? And why didn't he stop you?!
You pace up and down the bathroom, muttering curses under your breath. Any random woman who stumbled into the bathroom thought you were on something but didn't question it. You just wanted to die in one of the bathroom stalls. Tears of panic blur your vision.
You don't know how long you were in the restroom...
⪩⪨
You don't drink. You never do. And yet here you are downing your next shot of tequila, mascara all messed up, tippy toeing your limit of alcohol intake. Miyeori tried to stop you but you couldn't take the feeling plunged in your stomach. She tells you she had seen the interaction with you and your ex and she assured you everything would be fine.
You didn't think so.
He was your ex and you shouldn't have even put him through that. It was pathetic really, you had ended things for both your own goods and now for the first time seeing him since the break up you go running to him for protection. Who the fuck does that? You apparently.
You tug at your hair in frustration, feeling that sickly complicated feeling back in your stomach again. On top of that you feel a little dizzy, you didn't know if you wanted to cry or scream—maybe both.
“I'll have another one,” You tell the bartender who gives you a look. Miyeori is about to say something but her lips snap shut.
“No, she won't be having another.” A voice that was all too familiar even now says behind you firmly. Your heart rate drops and basically deadlines.
To hear his voice in person right now almost undid everything you tried to ignore for the past two years. Almost. You suddenly better your posture.
“No don't listen to him—” Your stool violent swivels to face him. Your heart plummets down to your stomach, eyes wide just like your friend's.
“No you listen to me, Y/N! That's enough. Now come with me, we have some talking to do.” His hand grabs ahold of your wrist, leaving no room for argument. Miyeori watches as you get dragged by Seungmin to the exit.
Outside in the fresh air, your head clears a little. Your heart races as if it were running for it's life. You are so sure he can feel your pulse from his tight grip on your wrist. He leads you to the side of the building and corners you against the wall.
“Seungmin...” You gasp lightly.
“So you're just going to not talk to me at all? Were you going to drink the night away, leave and forget about me again?” Your lips part at his tone.
“I... I didn't forget about you. Besides we broke up remember?” You answer weakly. He chuckles bitterly, it sounded hurt.
“Why?” He knew the answer to that question, you didn't stay quiet about that when the break up happened.
“You know why. I didn't want to get in between your dreams, Seungmin. You love singing. And you did it. You made it. ...You don't need me.” You try to smile as if your own words didn't hurt you — slicing at something you didn't know you still had.
“Fuck Y/N, that's bullshit. You don't get to pick and choose what I need and what I don't.” He says frustratedly.
“I thought you moved on...” You say quietly, looking away.
“How could I move on?” He asks, emotions rising in his throat.
“First loves are easy to forget. And I bet you're busy now.”
“You're not just some first love, Y/N! You were— You are my other half, my soulmate, my light in the darkness. Do you know how hard it was just to live on without you? I still love you—”
“No- no, you're lying to yourself.” You butt in quickly. This wasn't supposed to go this way, wasnt supposed to happen.
“If I didn't still love you, why would I have this?” He promptly pulls out a chain tucked under his unbuttoned shirt. Attached to the chain was the his matching promise ring...
“W-why did you bring that?” Seeing the matching ring to yours which was hidden inside your bedside table right now brought up some feeling in your stomach.
“I didn't just bring it, Y/N. I wear it everyday, all day, and during every performance too. I didn't just put it on like I knew you were going to be here.” He scoffs knowing that's what you were thinking.
“I don't know what to say.” You look down.
Silence falls between you. You and him breath in sync, too close for people who claim to be exes. Somewhere in the distance someone's car is going off, the sound of shoes clicking on the pavement, and a dog barks repeatedly but you didn't hear it—too engrossed in the situation that forms a bubble, traping you both inside filled with tension and unspoken feelings. Your breath holds for however long the silence lasts. His lip twitches.
“Just tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll leave you alone.” Seungmin's tone changes as he lifts your chin up gently.
“I...” The words die on your tongue. You couldn't lie even if you wanted to. You did still love him. Seeing him again made you realize you were just lying to yourself all this time, you never had gotten over him. You never had moved on.
He leans in closer.
“Y/N you're my first love and also my last... I just want you, I want to make you happy. If you tell me to go, I will.” His lips almost brush yours as he speaks barely above a whisper. You swallow.
“I can't... But I also don't want to be a burden,” you whisper.
“You're not a burden, never were,” Seungmin assures. His eyelashes almost fan his cheeks when he looks down to your lips. His eyes snap right back up to yours. “Fuck— Can I kiss you?”
“Yes.” You answer before you could stop yourself. His lips connect with yours delicately, as if you weren't real and could fade away anytime from the simplest touch.
Sparks ignite at the contact, you feel right at home in the kiss. Damn, you missed him. Soft, gently, while also possessive. It felt like Seungmin alright. You were right, he's still your Seungmin. He gently breaks off the kiss, giving you one final peck as if to seal everything before moving back to give you some space.. His fingers go up to the very lips that had collided with yours, his lips part slightly.
“Let me take you home.”
“I— Okay.” You agree with not much convincing. There wasn't no turning back, you had fallen for him again. You tuck away the fears deep into the back of your mind. You wanted to do things right. And you didn't want to lose him once again.
He begins walking to leave the alleyway when you grab his sleeve. Seungmin pauses, turning to you. His head tilts slightly.
“I'm sorry.” You blurt out. You had no idea why you grabbed onto him, however the apologize just felt... right. “Genuinely. I'm sorry for the pain I must have left you with... I was scared and...”
You trail off when he takes ahold of your hand and squeezes it gently.
“You don't have to say anymore. I know. I know why you did it.. and I understand. I'm just happy that you want to give us a second chance.”
He doesn't let go of your hand after that. In fact he holds your hand the whole time while saying goodbye to your friends(they were quite surprised by the sight, you promised them a long phone call...), during the Uber drive back home, and he still holds your hand while walking you to your front door.
He is rather reluctant to let your hand go to part ways. You put your key in the lock and push your door open gently. You pause.
“...Do you want to stay the night?” Your voice is a little shakey. You just didn't want the night to end just yet, not when you had gotten him back. His face breaks into a warm smile.
“Of course.” And he ruffles your hair playfully, a gesture you didn't know you missed until now. “Lead the way, love.”
genre: fluffy wholesome wedding, hwa being in love with his bride
warnings: none I think?
wc / cc : 1.4k / 7.7k
atz summer masterlist
synopsis —---
the day he's been dreaming for ever since he's laid eyes on you is finally here. you look best in white, he would say, all pretty and ethereal
—-- ⪩⪨⪩⪨
He had been waiting for this day ever since he laid eyes on you. He knew since then that he wanted you to be his forever. Forever is a big word but to him it wasn't big enough. He wanted to spend eternity with you, to love and to cherish you, to show you how much you mean to him every single day. He would do anything to keep you happy and to see that pretty smile of yours. He was in love and had been for a long time even when he didn't know it yet. You were his soulmate and he was yours. He wouldn't have it anyway other way.
Honestly he couldn't believe today had really come. You two were already basically married in spirit but to be finally married on paper officially, it felt unreal.
He stood waiting at the alter in his black and white vichy check suit and black bowtie, his hands tapped nervously at his side. He couldn't wait to see you. You wanted to wait until you both were at the alter to see each other for the first time today, for the wedding spirit. Of course he agreed to your wishes but damn it was hard. He really couldn't wait to see you, his toes were basically dancing in his shoes.
“Calm down, Hyung. She'll be here any moment now.” Hongjoong, his best friend and best man chuckles putting a hand on his shoulder. Seonghwa takes a deep breath, Hongjoong's touch grounding him.
He wonders what his first reaction to you in your dress would be. Would he cry? He didn't doubt that tears would fall from his eyes at some point, this is gonna be the happiest day of his life. Maybe he would smile? He'd have to find some way to express his happiness. Or maybe—
His thoughts are interrupted by the music that floods the room. Oh it was really starting! His parents walk down the isle, then your mom. The bridesmaids came down. Then your six year old niece came out in her pretty light green dress, she threw the white pedals onto the floor just like she rehearsed several times yesterday. She did perfect. Seonghwa smiles at Ahri and gives her a thumbs up when she reached the end of the isle. Ahri smiles back before taking her place next to Chaewon, Ahri's mom and your maid of honor, and the other bridemaids.
It felt like time had slowed down for the both of you when Seonghwa caught your eyes. His lips parts slightly, speechless. You are absolutely stunning, like usual but today you just looked ethereal in your wedding dress. You are already tearing up as you clinged to your father's arm, thank God for waterproof makeup. Seonghwa begins to tear up too, his angel finally being brought to him for him to keep forever. The moment was just perfect.
Your father brings you over to Seonghwa. “I know you'll take good of my little girl, thank you Seonghwa, for always making her happy. I hope you continue to do so.”
“Don't worry Sir, I'll do my best.” Seonghwa takes your hand and helps you up to the alter.
“Hi.” You giggle, tears made your eyes glossy.
“Hi.” He smiles, looking at you like you are the most precious thing in the world. You are in his book.
The service begins, you and Seonghwa go through your wedding vows. You started crying even more after that. You really couldn't believe you were finally having the wedding you've been dreaming about since you were a kid.
“Now, Park Seonghwa do you take L/N Y/N to have and to hold, for better or worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and health, to be faithful, to love and honor, to always support her till death due you part?” The priest questions. Seonghwa takes your ring adorned hands.
“I do.” He looks into your eyes as he says this, there was no hint of doubt as he consents to this.
“L/N Y/N do you take Park Seonghwa to have and to hold, for better or worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and health, to be faithful, to love and honor, to always support him till death due you part?” The priest turns to you.
“I do.” Your eyes tell him that you will always love him no matter what.
“By the power invested in me, I pronounce you both Husband and Wife. You may now kiss the bride!”
You gasp as Seonghwa grabs you by the waist and leans you backwards before kissing you passionately. Your guests cheer but you hardly even heard them.
Gosh, he had been waiting forever to do that. The first kiss as husband and wife of many more to come. He pulls away with a little laugh. His eyes were shining, a new feeling fuels his blood with adrenaline. You smile and touch his face. The photographer takes a picture of the moment. That was going to be your favorite picture of the night.
You, Seonghwa and your guests move to the wedding hall where the reception was to be held. It was literally everything you could have dreamed of, Seonghwa made sure of it. There were elements of you both, from the Lego flowers that adorned each table to the green vines everywhere, it was both you. With the open bar and the dessert table, your guests seemed to be having an amazing time. You were happy.
You sit on Seonghwa, your husband's lap, after dancing with your bridemaids for awhile. He smiles at you while he smooths down your hair that must of went askew while you were dancing. You look up in time to see your younger brother, Jongho follow one of your bridemaids outside to the terrace. You couldn't help but melt a bit, you secretly wanted them to get together.
“Having fun?” he murmurs against your temple.
“Yeah. Are you enjoying yourself too hwa?” Your hand rests under his chin as you tilt your head to lean closer to him.
“Of course I am.” You turn and kiss his nose causing him to smile.
“Hubby.” You smile wide. You shift in his lap to press your forehead to his. “Ah. We really did it. I can't wait to spend my forever with you. I love you.”
You say it quietly, only loud enough for him to hear. In midst of all the friends, family and music; it really did feel, even for a moment, that it was just the two of you.
“I love you too, wifey.”
Snap! The photographer got a photo of the cute moment between the two of you. Your wedding planner comes over and tells you both it was time to cute the cake.
The cake was gorgeous, white with gold trimmings around the cake, Lego themed. There was a white Lego cherry blossom tree on the top, under it was Lego you and Lego Seonghwa dressed in your wedding outfits with priest to officiate. Your two Lego characters held hands. There were Lego vines that were scattered around the base of the 3 tier cake. And just because Hwa wanted it—on the second tier behind the Lego tree was a Lego dark Vader commanding a stormtrooper to climb a ladder to crash the wedding. Silly, yes but it was perfect for both you.
You grab the knife and Seonghwa holds your hands around the knife. You both cut the first piece causing your guests to cheer. The photographer made sure to take many pictures. You take a spoon and feed Seonghwa a piece. It was a simple fluffy vanilla cake with a light cream and strawberries in between the layers. You can tell from the way his eyes shut and how his lips tugged up as he hummed that he liked it. You smile at his cute face.
“It's good isn't it?” He nods. You take a bite next, he was right. It was really good.
⪩⪨
You hold Seonghwa's hand. You were both on a night flight to Italy for your honeymoon. Seonghwa was already out like a light. You stare at his beautiful face. He looked great in his suit earlier but he felt more like hwa you knew in the black sweats, looking effortlessly amazing. You lean your head against him, his hand squeezes yours reflexively. His rests his head on yours.
“I love you.” He mumbles. You thought he had woken up but no he was just speaking in his sleep.
“I love you too.” You whisper back even if he wasn't awake to hear it. “I'm so happy to have you.”
𝓰enre; seungmin x fem!reader, exs to lovers, first love, post breakup, bittersweet, second chance, cute ⸝⸝ 𝔀ord count; 2.7k ⸝⸝ 𝔀arnings; club scene, mentions of alcohol, creeps, fear, kissing, getting back with your ex(don't do it), petname(love), lemme know if I missed anything! ⸝⸝ 𝓻ead time; 10:09
김승민 ~ 𖤝⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺.₊⋆˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🍸🎤˚˖𓍢ִ💙˚.
💫ᝰ.ᐟ ignore the crappy title, I just got lazy <//3
ততততততততততততততততততততততততত
★ synopsis —
meeting your ex for the first time since your breakup unprepared turns your night down a path you never expected.
— ꒰ > ⋆ < ꒱
You don't drink, you never do. Getting drunk in public settings was something you weren't too fond of. It's not that you never tasted alcohol ever in your life, you did. Hell you had your fair share of the stuff. You knew your limits, what your preference was, and all else that you needed to know to know your way around liquor.
If you were to have a drink out in public you'd keep it to a minimum of one single cocktail. Never heavy.
You just didn't need a drink to have a good time with your girls.
The EDM music blares through the speakers and out into the young night. You and your friends jump around to the beat, you seem to be the only coordinated one—your friends ranged from tipsy to straight out wasted but none of you seem to mind. The different states of you each is just what seemed to make your group gain the attention of others.
Saehee yells into the air the lyrics of the next song the second the beat drops. You five automatically join along with her silly antics, screaming along all while dramatizing your dance moves, moving left to right accordingly.
You don't even remember what prompted this outing, it had been in the calendar for weeks before Ruha dragged everyone out by threatening to steal everyone's shoe laces when they least expected. It had done the trick well, no one doubted that she would indeed steal their laces. Ruha was crazy like that.
“Why didn't we do this sooner?!” Miyeori has to shout to be heard over the music as she leans closer to you. It had been awhile since the whole gang was able to hangout like this, you shrug.
“No fucking clue but we definitely needed this!” You say equally as loud. You had known Miyeori the longest, she—you would say, is the person that knows you the best.
You bump Miyeori with your hip playfully. She does the same, giggling in the process.
The song shifts into something calmer than the previous one but it was still pretty hype. You stretch your arms, getting ready to join Saehee in her dancing shenanigans when Miyeori taps your shoulder rapidly to get your attention.
“What?”
“Isn't that your ex?” She asks you. You don't even look to see who she was talking about, giving her a weird face.
“Girl, he lives hours from here” You tilt your head slightly. You feel a surge of complicated feelings rush up your throat but you push them away.
Thanks to Miyeori, your two week streak of not thinking about your ex had been crushed. You and him had ended on shakey terms, you hated how your brain replayed the moment at terrible times. You had to end things. That you'd always told yourself firmly. Besides he most certainly had forgotten about you by now, you were so sure on that fact—you used it as a tool to gaslight yourself into not loving him anymore. Miyeori shrugs, bringing her attention back to your other friends.
Just to be sure though, you take a quick looksie. No one behind you see matched the profile of your ex to your relief. It shocks you a little to find yourself holding your breath, it had been 2 years for fucks sake.
You suck your teeth at yourself and shake your head returning to the present. Saehee is basic doing limbo with how low she's going, you go over and start cheering her on to go even lower.
⪩⪨
You fan yourself slightly, starting to feel the heat of your prior movements. You're still on the dance floor but near the edge cause you stopped dancing. You feel the burning sensation of eyes on you. You had felt them earlier but you for some reason couldn't find who they belong to. There was just something about the feeling... It was hard to ignore. You move away just in time before someone accidentally hits you with their arm as they danced more violently than Saehee.
You wanted to snap because of the intense feeling of eyes you couldn't shake off. You look around again however this time your eyes meet someone else's. Your heart nearly stops and your mouth almost parts wide. His eye contact does not waver. You're frozen in place.
It is Seungmin.
Your ex.
What the fuck is he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be in Seoul? You weren't... You weren't supposed to see him again.
Seungmin on the other hand shows no emotions indicating your presence had effected him. Instead he holds your eyes steady, it's hard for you to break away. It's like he wanted you to know that he had been here—watching you ever since you had felt the stares. He just sits near the bar alone, swirling a drink slowly as if he were hypnotizing someone.
Fuck.
Fuck!
You begin to panic. He... He still looks the same. Maybe that's what makes your heart ache more than it should. He was still your Seungmin. You blink rapidly. No. He wasn't yours, you had ended things. You had ended things. So why did he get to be the only calm and collected one in this situation? You suck in a sharp inhale through your nose and smoothed your skirt down. You promptly turn away.
You weren't about to let him ruin your night out with your friends.
Speaking of your friends, where did they run off to? The dance floor had suddenly gotten packed from the time window of your eyes holding contact. You decide to just stay where you were instead of joining the many bodies while searching for your friends. It would be easier for them to spot you on the outskirts of the crowd.
You knew the song playing so you didn't feel awkward swaying and singing along by yourself.
As you wait for your friends to make their appearance, eyes surveying the area. You notice a different set of eyes on you. A trio of guys. You couldn't hear their conversation but it was clear they were talking about you. You make eye contact with one of them, the look in his eye made you regret even looking his way. Your eyes snap away, attempting to ignore whatever just happened all while hoping you had just imagined the strange feeling.
It hadn't been a minute since the interaction when he, the guy approaches you. Your eyes widen nervously. He smirks down at you, tilting his head just a bit. He's a little shakey, clearly on something.
“What's a pretty girl like you dancing alone?” He asks.
“Oh, I'm not alone,” you say quickly, barely loud enough to hear over the music.
“Sure looks like you're alone to me. Lucky for you I'm a great dance partner.” He reaches out but you quickly lengthen a gap between you both.
“No thank you.”
“Come on woman, don't be like that.” His smirk gets bigger, leaning into your space. He reaches out again. “I can—”
“I have a boyfriend.” You blurt out. His face instantly drops into a scowl.
“I don't see him.” His arms cross. That's when his two friends begin to approach, they did not look any more friendly than he did. In fact they looked scarier than the man trying to hit on you.
You feel the same burning sensation of eyes on you, it feels stronger. You turn and make eye contact with Seungmin. Instantly you walk over to him before the guy's friends could reach you. You walk to him with no hesitation, fear driving you.
When you reach him, you couldn't even look him in the eye. You tap his shoe with your heel lightly. Wordlessly he spreads his legs just enough for you to stand between them, you lean against him for good measure.
You both watch the guys glare in your direction before moving over to the far end of the club, taking a hint. Your body relaxes in relief before tensing up again with realization of what you had just done.
You fucked up big time. Big big time. You remove yourself from him.
“I—” The words fall silent on your lips.
You couldn't say anything.
So of course —
you run.
You run all the way to the girls restroom in a panic. Why the fuck had you done that? And why didn't he stop you?!
You pace up and down the bathroom, muttering curses under your breath. Any random woman who stumbled into the bathroom thought you were on something but didn't question it. You just wanted to die in one of the bathroom stalls. Tears of panic blur your vision.
You don't know how long you were in the restroom...
⪩⪨
You don't drink. You never do. And yet here you are downing your next shot of tequila, mascara all messed up, tippy toeing your limit of alcohol intake. Miyeori tried to stop you but you couldn't take the feeling plunged in your stomach. She tells you she had seen the interaction with you and your ex and she assured you everything would be fine.
You didn't think so.
He was your ex and you shouldn't have even put him through that. It was pathetic really, you had ended things for both your own goods and now for the first time seeing him since the break up you go running to him for protection. Who the fuck does that? You apparently.
You tug at your hair in frustration, feeling that sickly complicated feeling back in your stomach again. On top of that you feel a little dizzy, you didn't know if you wanted to cry or scream—maybe both.
“I'll have another one,” You tell the bartender who gives you a look. Miyeori is about to say something but her lips snap shut.
“No, she won't be having another.” A voice that was all too familiar even now says behind you firmly. Your heart rate drops and basically deadlines.
To hear his voice in person right now almost undid everything you tried to ignore for the past two years. Almost. You suddenly better your posture.
“No don't listen to him—” Your stool violent swivels to face him. Your heart plummets down to your stomach, eyes wide just like your friend's.
“No you listen to me, Y/N! That's enough. Now come with me, we have some talking to do.” His hand grabs ahold of your wrist, leaving no room for argument. Miyeori watches as you get dragged by Seungmin to the exit.
Outside in the fresh air, your head clears a little. Your heart races as if it were running for it's life. You are so sure he can feel your pulse from his tight grip on your wrist. He leads you to the side of the building and corners you against the wall.
“Seungmin...” You gasp lightly.
“So you're just going to not talk to me at all? Were you going to drink the night away, leave and forget about me again?” Your lips part at his tone.
“I... I didn't forget about you. Besides we broke up remember?” You answer weakly. He chuckles bitterly, it sounded hurt.
“Why?” He knew the answer to that question, you didn't stay quiet about that when the break up happened.
“You know why. I didn't want to get in between your dreams, Seungmin. You love singing. And you did it. You made it. ...You don't need me.” You try to smile as if your own words didn't hurt you — slicing at something you didn't know you still had.
“Fuck Y/N, that's bullshit. You don't get to pick and choose what I need and what I don't.” He says frustratedly.
“I thought you moved on...” You say quietly, looking away.
“How could I move on?” He asks, emotions rising in his throat.
“First loves are easy to forget. And I bet you're busy now.”
“You're not just some first love, Y/N! You were— You are my other half, my soulmate, my light in the darkness. Do you know how hard it was just to live on without you? I still love you—”
“No- no, you're lying to yourself.” You butt in quickly. This wasn't supposed to go this way, wasnt supposed to happen.
“If I didn't still love you, why would I have this?” He promptly pulls out a chain tucked under his unbuttoned shirt. Attached to the chain was the his matching promise ring...
“W-why did you bring that?” Seeing the matching ring to yours which was hidden inside your bedside table right now brought up some feeling in your stomach.
“I didn't just bring it, Y/N. I wear it everyday, all day, and during every performance too. I didn't just put it on like I knew you were going to be here.” He scoffs knowing that's what you were thinking.
“I don't know what to say.” You look down.
Silence falls between you. You and him breath in sync, too close for people who claim to be exes. Somewhere in the distance someone's car is going off, the sound of shoes clicking on the pavement, and a dog barks repeatedly but you didn't hear it—too engrossed in the situation that forms a bubble, traping you both inside filled with tension and unspoken feelings. Your breath holds for however long the silence lasts. His lip twitches.
“Just tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll leave you alone.” Seungmin's tone changes as he lifts your chin up gently.
“I...” The words die on your tongue. You couldn't lie even if you wanted to. You did still love him. Seeing him again made you realize you were just lying to yourself all this time, you never had gotten over him. You never had moved on.
He leans in closer.
“Y/N you're my first love and also my last... I just want you, I want to make you happy. If you tell me to go, I will.” His lips almost brush yours as he speaks barely above a whisper. You swallow.
“I can't... But I also don't want to be a burden,” you whisper.
“You're not a burden, never were,” Seungmin assures. His eyelashes almost fan his cheeks when he looks down to your lips. His eyes snap right back up to yours. “Fuck— Can I kiss you?”
“Yes.” You answer before you could stop yourself. His lips connect with yours delicately, as if you weren't real and could fade away anytime from the simplest touch.
Sparks ignite at the contact, you feel right at home in the kiss. Damn, you missed him. Soft, gently, while also possessive. It felt like Seungmin alright. You were right, he's still your Seungmin. He gently breaks off the kiss, giving you one final peck as if to seal everything before moving back to give you some space.. His fingers go up to the very lips that had collided with yours, his lips part slightly.
“Let me take you home.”
“I— Okay.” You agree with not much convincing. There wasn't no turning back, you had fallen for him again. You tuck away the fears deep into the back of your mind. You wanted to do things right. And you didn't want to lose him once again.
He begins walking to leave the alleyway when you grab his sleeve. Seungmin pauses, turning to you. His head tilts slightly.
“I'm sorry.” You blurt out. You had no idea why you grabbed onto him, however the apologize just felt... right. “Genuinely. I'm sorry for the pain I must have left you with... I was scared and...”
You trail off when he takes ahold of your hand and squeezes it gently.
“You don't have to say anymore. I know. I know why you did it.. and I understand. I'm just happy that you want to give us a second chance.”
He doesn't let go of your hand after that. In fact he holds your hand the whole time while saying goodbye to your friends(they were quite surprised by the sight, you promised them a long phone call...), during the Uber drive back home, and he still holds your hand while walking you to your front door.
He is rather reluctant to let your hand go to part ways. You put your key in the lock and push your door open gently. You pause.
“...Do you want to stay the night?” Your voice is a little shakey. You just didn't want the night to end just yet, not when you had gotten him back. His face breaks into a warm smile.
“Of course.” And he ruffles your hair playfully, a gesture you didn't know you missed until now. “Lead the way, love.”
𝓰enre; wooyoung x fem!reader, highschool au, girl crush, slight angst, romance, confession ⸝⸝ 𝔀ord count; 2.2k ⸝⸝ 𝔀arnings; crush, reader is a bit oblivious, misconception, heartbreak, lemme know if i missed any! ⸝⸝ 𝓻ead time; 8:11
정우영 ~ 𖤝⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺.₊⋆˚˖𓍢ִִ໋❤️❤️˚˖𓍢ִ💋˚.
💫ᝰ.ᐟ welcome to my first part of the “dearest you” event hosted by the @eighteez-net; this event is inspired by valentine's day and white day. teehee first event by the net, i'm so hyped! divider gif was made by me, you can use it if you want :) enjoyyyy
ততততততততততততততততততততততততত
(pt 2)
★ synopsis —
after admiring him from afar for so long, you were going to do it. you've been mustering up the courage to finally tell your crush that you like him. this could either go amazingly well or absolutely horrible—there was no in between.
— ꒰ > ⋆ < ꒱
Wooyoung. Just thinking about him gave you butterflies and puts a smile on your face. You wouldn't say that you and him were exactly friend friends.
He was friendly with you and you with him; you'd exchange greetings when the other entered the classroom, he'd give you notes when you missed a day of school(which happens more than you'd like) and you'd buy him a drink as a thank you. Just acquaintances. Unfortunately.
You never really had a serious conversation with him. You just only came to have this crush by admiring him from your own seat a couple desks away. His loud and silly personality with his friends during breaks make you heart flutter. The sound of his voice and his dumb jokes—not to forget his looks, he was model worthy, absolutely gorgeous, he was just perfect in your eyes.
How could you not fall in love? Even though it was always from afar, you really did want to change that. And the possibility of if all goes well, you'd be the happiest girl on earth.
⪩⪨
You hum a soft tune underneath your breath as you wait for the teacher to come inside. You rest your chin on your palm as your friend speaks on and on about her plans for valentine's day with her boyfriend. You weren't really paying attention cause you heard it a million times already. She was just very excited.
“Hi Y/N.” You almost fall off the chair, hand slipping from underneath your chin. Wooyoung looks at your concerned. “You alright..?”
“Just peachy.” You smile, embarrassed. Your friend gives you a knowing look. Usually you'd notice when he enters the classroom—today however he was like a ninja and snuck up on you out of nowhere. “Did y-you need something?”
It took everything in you not to wince at that stutter in embarrassment. Wooyoung doesn't seem to notice or maybe he just doesn't care as he holds out a bottle. It was your favorite drink. How did he even know?
“You're always giving me drinks so I thought I should return the favor.” He gives you that half smile half smirk that you were oh so in love with. You blink at him dazed before snapping out of it.
“...But I get you drinks because you help me out when I miss school as a thank you.” You tell him. You did wish you had the guts to just buy him a drink just because you wanted—and maybe to hint at the ever growing affection you felt towards him. You just... weren't that girl.
“Well. what if I just wanted to buy you a drink?” The butterflies erupt in your stomach when he tilts his head. You don't know if you were just being delusional or not but you could have swore you saw a flirtatious look in his eyes. Then again, it's Wooyoung we're talking about, he almost always has a flirty look in his eyes.
You take the drink from him, your fingers briefly touch. His hands are cold. Your cheeks heat up ever so slightly.
“Thanks...” You say quietly, Wooyoung smiles at the same time the teacher enters the room, Wooyoung goes to his seat.
You could hardly pay attention in class after that exchange. Your eyes dart to Wooyoung every now and then. He jolts down something in his notebook as the teacher talks on and on. Your friend elbows you, she smirks as you give her a glare. She points the back of her pencil to the front of the class—her way of telling you to pay attention to the teacher and not a boy. You roll your eyes but obliged.
⪩⪨
You had come down with a fever last Friday. Your stupid immune system always seemed to not bother in helping you because you were always getting sick. Instead of a small cold, you had a whole fever that left you bedridden for the entire weekend. You only came to school today cause yesterday you were feeling a little better.
You sit at your usual seat and waited for your friend.
She doesn't keep you waiting for long cause she just walks in the classroom. She falls into her seat and gives you a smile.
“Hey girl. Missed you on Friday, how are you feeling now?” She asks, her hand covers yours as an act of comfort.
“Way better now. I was dying the whole weekend...” You answer with a weak smile.
“My poor baby.” She playful pinches your cheek. You swat at her hand.
The classroom door opens and you turn your head. In walks in one of the prettiest girls you have ever seen. Your eyebrows furrow, when did we get a new student..?
“That's Yang Hayoon, she transferred last friday.” Your friend informs you. You nod, still looking at the girl with curious eyes.
Your attention on her soon gets diverted when Wooyoung walks in. He walks over to Hayoon almost instantly. He greets her good morning with that precious smile of his before striking a conversation. Your heart tightens a bit.
Did they know each other? It definitely seemed that they were friendly with each other...
You don't get much time to think about it for the teacher comes in earlier than usual. This new girl sits in the seat in front of Wooyoung's.
You look at Wooyoung. He must have felt eyes on him cause he looks up and catches you staring at him. He smiles and waves a small wave. Your face heats up, you can tell you looked like a tomato right now but despite the embarrassment burning in your chest, you wave back to him. Your eyes snap away quickly and pull out your notebook. You pretend to jolt down a few things as you regain the breath you didn't notice you lost. Damn why was your stupid heart hammering like crazy right now?
After class, Wooyoung approaches you.
“Hey, Y/N.” He leans a bit on your desk. The setting was familiar, almost a routine when you came back to school after being absent for a bit. His genuine concern made you want to bang your head on something each and every time, a strange feeling really. “How are you feeling?”
“Hi, Wooyoung. I'm fine, just dealing with the aftermath of that dumb fever.” You sigh, joining your hands together on the desk. He pouts at that, God knows it took everything in you not to scream of cuteness aggression.
“Here are my notes from Friday.” He hands you the notebook, the one that always ended up in your hands almost every month for a year and some now. The sleek black notebook that just screamed Wooyoung, it was like a sacred item in your hands.
“Thank you, Woo.” The nickname slips out before you can even stop it. He freezes for a split second. That second didn't last long for he recovers. His face melts into a grin.
“No problem, Y/Nie.”
⪩⪨
You couldn't have picked a more clichè day than Valentine's day to confess to your crush. You spent weeks, the rest of January trying to figure out how you wanted to tell him. You were shy—terribly shy so going all out was out of the question.
However simple you were planning to do, it had to be genuine—something from the heart.
You decided on a letter. You could write anything you had to say so your confession wouldn't be a stuttering mess. You spent countless nights rewriting the words of your heart trying to make it more cute, cool—not too lengthy or sappy.
After a pile of crumpled paper in your trash can and whole lot of stressing, the day was here.
The heart shaped chocolates and envelope are tucked away inside your locker. Your fingers tremble slightly as you watch the clock tick slowly waiting for the hour school would be let out.
The whole day you watched with a little hint of jealousy as Wooyoung received chocolates from the girls in the class. Every class change a new girl who you weren't even aware knew Wooyoung came in and made heart eyes while giving him their Valentine's present.
As the gifts piled up, your confidence slowly seeps down the drain like a trickling facet. You knew Wooyoung was popular around here but damn! Why was he such a lady's man?
However low your confidence was at the moment it was not going to stop you from confessing, the gifts mostly appeared to be somewhat more friendly than romantic. It didn't seem you had any REAL competition.
The stupid sound of the class bell has everyone getting out of their seats. Some excited because they had a date with their other half while others seem to not want anything more than to just curl up in their beds with a bowl of ice cream and drown in their singleness.
Your friend pats your arm and you give her your attention.
“I'll wait in here for you to come back.” She gives you a thumbs up as her head nods towards the door. You turn just in time to catch Wooyoung leave the classroom. “Don't take too long cause I have a date later!”
You give her a nod before heading out of the class and basically running to your locker. You reach and open your locker up to take out your confession gift, your trembling fingers return.
You take a deep breath before you blink realizing you actually weren't sure where the guy went. You look down the hallway before spoting Yeosang. He might know where Wooyoung is.
“Yeosang!” You walk over to him. “Hi, do you by chance know where Wooyoung is?”
He takes one look at the box in your hands before smirking a bit.
“He's in the gym. Went to go get something from the boy's lockeroom.” His eyebrows raise, giving you a knowing look. You feel your ears grow hot as you stare at him. He gently pushes you in the direction of the gym. “Good luck!”
“Thank you.” You squeak out quietly before scurrying away. You couldn't help but feel embarrassed. ...And a little giddy, Yeosang was Wooyoung's best friend and he definitely just gave you his approval right now.
Your heart beats as you near the gym. Your brain was screaming at you with nervous worries, you did your best not to lean into them.
The halls are empty near the gym surprisingly. Well it is Valentine's day so it wasn't too surprising since everyone rather be somewhere other than school on this day. You catch a glimpse of someone through the Gym door's window. You know it's Wooyoung even with his back facing you. He's talking to someone.
Your heart sinks.
It's Hayoon. She has a box in her hands. You can't see Wooyoung's face but you can see her's clearly. Hayoon looks down and her lips move but you don't know what she's saying.
You heart drops to your stomach when Wooyoung suddenly pulls her into an embrace. The scene left a metallic taste in your mouth as the tears prick your eyes. You back up slowly. They pull away, there's a teary smile on Hayoon's face.
You couldn't take it anymore. You run. You run fast.
You run all the way back to the classroom where your best friend was waiting for you. The look on your face told her everything she needed to know.
She moves to speak, but you stop her with your hand.
“Don't... Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.” You force a smile. Your grip tightening on the gift you held told her otherwise. “You have a date... I don't want to ruin your night.”
“Y/N—” She begins but you stop her again.
“No.” You simply shake your head. “Go have fun with your boyfriend.”
“But—”
“No. No buts.” You're firm on that. “I'm going home.”
She watches as you throw the chocolates and envelope in the empty trash can in the classroom.
“I'll call you tomorrow. Have fun.” Your smile's tight. You leave before she could make you stay.
The tears stayed in your eyes, threatening to spill over as you walk home but you didn't let them. It was harder to keep them at bay when you were outside. Outside in the cold wind, everything felt more real.
It wasn't until you were in the comfort of your own bedroom did they spill.
“Fuck!” You yell in the walls of the familiar paint. The house is empty, you are alone at the moment so you let it all out.
You cry. You cry for what felt like hours—until your eyes hurt. It felt like a part of your heart had been taken out.
You never realized how much you liked Wooyoung until now, now when you didn't get the chance to be with him because you were too late...
It was pathetic now thinking about it. What chances did you think you had with him when all you ever did was admire him from afar and weren't up front with your feelings? Had your wishful thinkings caused you to just become blind and deluded yourself into not seeing the foundation was not even stable enough to cross the bridge to a relationship? Fuck. Well now you see it clear as day and it hurt.
You felt the strain of your pain as you lie bundled up in your blankets in the sad reality of it all.
chan asks you to go watch the sunset at the beach with him but with the condition that you must wear a sundress. very odd condition but you agree
—-- ⪩⪨⪩⪨
You went through your closet, throwing clothes out onto the ground.
“Where is it...?” you mutter as your search went on.
You were looking for something in specific. It was like it vanished— oh wait silly you, your light blue sundress had fallen off the hanger and into your belt basket. You thought you were going crazy but it was just in your closet. You mentally face palm.
Your friend Chan, yes the Bangchan of stray kids asked you to go for a walk on the beach with him today. You agreed because who in their right mind would turn down, Chan? You may have had a crush on him for a couple months now... I mean come on, it's the Christopher Chan—who wouldn't have a crush on him. Though of course you were stuck in the friendzone. He was clearly too busy to date and well he was most certainly not interested in you. But being his friend was enough. That's what you told yourself.
You two had a mutual friend, Changbin and that's how you met Chan and the rest of the kids. Lately though, you noticed that Chan had been texting you more often and hanging out when he had time, just the two of you, alone. He said he liked your company, that comment had made your stomach erupt into a million butterflies but you had to be nonchalant, you learned the best from Minho and Seungmin.
Anyways, back to the date—I mean the hangout with Chan. You couldn't let your delulus take over you, not today. He had specifically asked you to wear a sundress, he knew of your huge collection since those were your favorite things to wear. Who were you to deny him?
You begin to get ready at around 5:40. He asked to meet at 7 to watch the sunset together. That would have been the most romantic thing ever if it wasn't for the cough barrier called friendship cough.
You took an everything shower. You felt refreshed and a bit tired but it was worth it. You got ready, doing your hair and makeup, and putting your clothes on. You spray some perfume before you deeming yourself ready. You put on your sandals and grab your bag. You look great, that you couldn't deny. You sure hope Chan thought so too. Time to head to the beach.
⪩⪨
You arrive at the beach, and find Chan already there. He was leaning against his car on his phone, his eyebrows furrow at whatever it was on the screen. He looks annoyed.
“Hi, Chan.” He looks up at you, whatever annoyance that was on his face melts as soon as he looks at you
“Y/N! You're here. Wow I really love your dress.” He compliments. Your heart literally stops.
“Ah—Thank you! I like your outfit too.” He looks like a whole meal in his white button down shirt that were short sleeved. He has three buttons unbuttoned which gave a nice view of the top his chest. And his forehead was exposed, what a deadly combo.
“Shall we get going?”
You two head onto the beach, you walk for a bit chatting and laughing like old friends. The sun was near setting now. You had both ditched your sandals to go stand in the shallow tide. The water was cool as it rushed to your feet before pulling back in hushed whispers. The sun reflected onto the water giving the world a warmish glow. It was a couple hours after golden hour yet this moment still felt golden in your treasured memories.
Chan suddenly takes your hands into his, he stares into your eyes making you feel nervous. The sunset breeze was cool compared to earlier's humid air. The golden colors of the sunset reflect on your eyes making you 10x prettier in his eyes.
“Y/N. Let me get to the point... I brought you here for a reason.” you tilt your head slightly. Your eyes on him, steady because you're afraid if you let yourself you would have collapsed from the way he was making eye contact with you. “I spent all day trying to figure out how to tell you, practiced a speech in front of the mirror and everything. But I guess I got too nervous as I was driving here so I forgot everything I rehersed. I know, that was very dumb. So I'll just freestyle this from the bottom of my heart.
“Y/N everytime I look at you, you make me feel nervous but in a good way. You make time stop each time you look at me with those pretty eyes of yours, my heart starts to race and I can't help it. Truthfully I like you. I like you a lot to the point of loving. Fuck I love you, Y/N. You mean so much to me. I can't live without you, your smile, your laugh, the way you bite your lip when youre nervous and how your nose scrunches up when you smile. I love every single part of you but it hurts to think that you aren't mine, hurts to know that someone else out there could come and snatch you up at any given moment. So I was hoping, really hoping you'd give me the chance to be your boyfriend. I'll make sure you won't regret it.” He quickly rushes out out of pure nerves, just speaking whatever that comes from the bottom of his heart. You were speechless, surprised that your friend was really confessing to you right now. Your heart flutters at his sweet words. When he notices you haven't said a word yet, he starts to panic, “Ah of course you don't have to say yes or anything. You could reject me right now, I'll be able to take it even if it hurts a little or a lo-”
You shut him up by kissing him, now it was his turn to be surprised. He relaxes from whatever panic he was feeling and kisses your soft lips gently, his hand going to the back of your head.
You both finally part for air, faces flushed pink in the salty air. “I'd love for you to be my boyfriend, Channie.”
You smile that smile he loves as you take his hand.
“I didn't know I'd be one of the lucky ones to see your romantic sides. I've only heard about it.” You giggle.
“Yeah? Well now you'll be the only one to see my romantic side.” He says.
“I like that but I don't know how STAYs would feel about that. You know your babygirls love their rizz daddy.” You tease. He groans loudly, the tips of his ears turning red. “I guess I'm one lucky STAY.”
You smile up at him. The ocean rushes, hugging your ankles again with it's last calm whisper of gold before the sun sunk down. Leaving the sky dark with tints of pink and purple. You hadn't really thought on the troubles dating a kpop idol would bring because of their fandoms but you were too happy, too in the moment to even care. You could worry about that stuff later. Right now, you have Chan right in front of you as your boyfriend. Somewhere between the silent gazing of you both, the gap between you had become significantly smaller. You take this chance and close the gap. His lips are soft, he tasted fainty of strawberries.
The sandals were long forgotten just like the sun that had disappeared when it had set. The calm ocean hugs your ankles once more as a congrats to the new couple. This blue sundress had become your favorite just because of the sole memory of how you two got together.
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