I'm not 100% sure that this is Napoleonic, but the bees and the green caught my eye so it's going in my collection. I can't seem to find anything like it. It's also very heavy!
HO SHIT I FOUND CASSIDY’S FANFICTION ABOUT ME LOL @commonwealthcass
I thought you didn’t like me. You can’t even get my name right?!
My Fifty Shades of Mentats
Chaptar 1:
(Trigger Warning: Ghoul sex and like...lots of sex stuff so dont read if you dont want to hear about it OK? DONT FLAG ME. IM JUST A SAD VAULT DWELLER. NO TROLLING!!!111!!)
By: Cassidy Muller
Hi, my name is Cassidy Claudia Mordecai Belice Edge Master the Third and I have long ebony dark black hair and dark, soulless eyes and a lot of people tell me I look like Magnolia ( AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!) I’m not related to Jack Cabot but I wish I was because he’s a major hottie. I’m a vault dweller but I’m still kicking even though I’m over 200 years old. I’m also a warrior because I picked up some weapons and ended up using them so I’m a major bad ass in the Commonwealth now because I shot a gun once and everyone in Sanctuary thought it was cool.
I walked into Goodneighbor and the wind blew through my enoby long locks of hair and it was dramatic and you guys should have seen it because Finn came up and started being a total dick.
“Hey,” said Finn as his bald head gleamed in the light and blinded a couple of passerbies.
“Hey,” I said as my luxurious, coffee-smooth voice rolled off my tongue. “What do you want, asshole?” And he stepped back because he knew I was a bad-ass. I cussed so that makes me a badass. Or should I say arse. Are you guys offended?
“You know, I could give you some protection if you needed it...” Finn said, being a gross perv. And he’s a gross perv because he totally wasn’t my type.
Just then, I heard a raspy, hot voice come out of the corner of the wall. “Finn, the first time someone steps into Goodneighbor, they’re a guest.” Out walked this image of radioactive hotness. He was wearing a tricornered tricorn hat with three corners. NOT ONE. BUT THREE. And he had these dark eyes and these white irises that pierced through the heavens like a fuking laser canon. He had a dark red coat on with a rilly gay sirt but he totally pulled it off and I thought he looked so cool and he also had irate bots which were cool.
He shanked the bald guy and the bald guy fell down and it was so hot I can’t even tell you. Like I guess if he wasn’t bald and gross I would have felt bad but no he wasn’t really kawaii.
“Are you supposed to be George Washington?” I said seductively.
“John Hancock,” he answered. “So...I hope that that display didn’t ruin your opinion of my amzing town.” He looked me up and down and in that moment I knew that he wanted me because I wanted him just as badly. We’re soulmates ok gaiz?
“Why don’t you come into the Old State Haus with me?” Hancock asked as he turned to me and the top buttons of his shirt came unbuttoned. “LOL WHOOPS”
I took his hand and we walked up the staircase and he said something about Pickman’s Gallery and post-coital awkward quietness but I didn’t care because his ass looked really hot in that coat. “Got a ride of choice? I’m a mentats ghoul myself...it makes me feel...intellectual.”
“You could be my ride of choice,” I said as I pulled off my coat. And he blushed because I was so silky smooth and awesome. And I was so cool that Farenheit just left us alone because she knew I was the alpha female woman person of the room so yeah there you go.
“Oh really...” He smiled seductively like a a bearded lizard in a Petco that had just eaten a freeze-dried cricket. “But don’t I afraid you?” His tongue moved up and around his face like a square all sex like nd it was hot.
“You don’t afraid me, wshington,” I looked deep into his dark, cavernos eye socket things.
“It’s Hancock,” he corrected me as he slid his tongue down my throat.
“MMMMmmmmMMmm (whatever)” I tried to say because honestly I really didn’t pay attention in eonomics class anyways and I dont remember who those people are.
And then he put his THING in my YOU KNOW WHAT. “You like that, you wuman!?” he roared at me like a deathclaw getting its face blown off with a fatmun. He mashed my lady meat with his hand and it wad hot and hit all the right places and gave me sex feelings. Like WHOA. Like even Nate never did that D: It felt like I was being drilled for oil but in a good way. Headcanon: ghoul dicks feel like instantly amazing because the texture is perfect because radiation does that k?
“I’m CUMIN” he moaned like a tiger after getting shot with a tranquilizer by the local animal control. And ten it went eryweere. Like on the ceiling and all over my face and in my pipboy and kind of on the balcony and on all the railroad holotapes and on the sofa thing that farenheit was sitting on....oh and the termnal. Like....it was everywhere, you guys. No joke.
“Ur mah wuhman now, you lady thing” Hancock hissed like a kettle that got put on high heat for tea though I guess thats more like a whistle or honk noise?
“Oh no but...” and then I realized I had slept with a giant raisin and it hurt me deeply. “I cunt believe youd do dat to me”
“Cassedee tho” he said flatly like a whopee cushion being deflated by a not so heavy person laying on top of it at a weird angle. “I think I love you. Youre so kawaii and awesome and you shot that gun once in Sanctuary at a molerat and it was so cool everyone in the commonweath lvoes you for it because its like...better than destroying the instatoot”
“I h8 the instatoot” I said beinf all defiant and cool and suave.
“I hat the instatuut too and thas why i know youre the love of my life” He said as he grabbed my nayked butt. Oh by the way like we got naked. Earlier. Somewhere. Like before he put his thing in.
“Oh Napoleon” I blushed as cherry blossoms came out of nowhere and swept into the old stat hus necus thats what appens when u fall in love
‘Its Hancock but its alright. you’ll get it eventually.” He said.
And then suddenly....
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MUTHERFAWWKERS” Valentine ran in and was totally cool and tipped his fehdorah,
