and you KNOW this started cause you breathed wrong and she got insecure 👹
seen from Kyrgyzstan

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Norway
seen from China

seen from Germany

seen from Italy
seen from Pakistan

seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from Türkiye
seen from Brazil

seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from United States

seen from Russia

seen from United States

seen from Kuwait
seen from United States
seen from Maldives
seen from China
and you KNOW this started cause you breathed wrong and she got insecure 👹
I was gonna listen a few things but now I really just want to disappear. When she's mad she stomps all around the house rearranging and cleaning everything.
Mind u- she knows how PTSD works, but if I even dared say her angrily slamming things around and stomping through the house made me anxious, it would swiftly be shot down because only she has ptsd in her world.
It would be unfathomable to suggest she could have been abusive or given me ptsd from all the times.
However, my family likes to pretend that never happened. Nothing I've accomplished has ever happened either to them really ..
Love it when I ask my nmom to so something as simple as give me my birth certificate and she refuses.
I need it for my brother who's trying to get our bio dad's adoption papers (he doesn't have his father on his BC) and my nmom immediately assumes I'm just gonna.....hand it over to him I guess? Even after I told her I just need it to show the adoption people to prove linkage.
Also said she wasn't going to give it to me and was just going to let me "borrow it" lmao.
Bitch that's MY birth certificate!! 🤪
And ofc when I tell her that it's my property she gets all quiet and pretends like she can't hear me and continues flipping through the TV channels. Eventually she got upset and goes "really? 🙄" and then continues ignoring me.
She also supposedly knows where its at but didn't bother looking for it at all today.
my mother went home for a week to take care of my great-aunt's will.
in the course of this week, i took over my usual chores and hers too. i cooked and cleaned and mopped and swept. i took care of all of our pets even if it meant waking up at 5 in the morning and going to bed no earlier than midnight. it was my half-brother's birthday, so i cooked him pizza from scratch and baked him a cake and made sure there were enough candles for him to blow over.
i did it all, kept everything under check because i've been a functioning adult since age 11, never asked my half-brother or my step-father to step in, help with the pets, cook me dinner. if they did cook, they did so for themselves only. i was never included.
the bleach i used to scrub the kitchen burnt my palms.
the first thing my mother did as she stepped back into the house was turn towards her son, shoot him the biggest smile, ask him how he was doing, if everything went okay in the week she was gone and if he needed for anything.
and then she looked at me and asked why the floors are streaked.
My mom doesn't like my kids, and I wish she'd stop pretending because she fucking sucks at lying, and I would legitimately rather her not be in their lives than be so fucking fake with them
Okay hey tumble I'm back.
It has been a couple days. Today is a bad one so I'm gonna vent but maybe not, idk what to do when shit is like this. Sometimes I just am too overwhelmed to even sleep cuz night time is the only time I can be by myself and not put up with my abusive home life ..
Essentially we're just working on the job ordered to us, so what's really the difference? Everywhere is the same.
SENTENCE I REALLY HATE
Yes, I am adaptable, yes I flexibly morphing my personality, I can be everything and every roles, I can do and become so many things that suit the situation, yes I can be in any situation like a spy,
Except I don't have what it actually takes to be a spy like logic and basic physical strenght, and all of that is result of survival instinct in narc abusive environment.