Mar 17, 2025
seen from Türkiye
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Austria
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
I hope you have a wonderful day today :D
- AL anon
aw, thanks :) we hope you do too.
It has been a long history of living with mental illness. Recently, my psychiatrist of nine years has retired, and I have a new psychiatrist
Mental health is a crucial issue. As a community we all are affected. Having hope for those who are suffering is a first step. If we ourselves are suffering, it is okay to ask for help. It is available if you know where to look, for ourselves and for our loved ones and community members.
It really hurts me to see my best friend struggle with alcoholism.
Even worse, she refuses to seek out resources to help her or attempt to become sober.
She spreads negativity and vitriol when she should be focusing on her healing journey.
I told her I need space because I don't want to be around her when she's screaming and cursing, and going on rants. I can't deal with that right now.
I'm on my own healing journey right now. I'm focusing on my health, sobriety, spirituality and working toward my academic and career goals.
he said a date isn’t a priority and proceeds to spend $80 on beer. All I do is cook and clean and at this point he expects it. I don’t feel appreciated at all anymore.
i’m starting to feel like my mere presence annoys him, im trying not to take it personally but why do I make him so angry? he has no patience with me. even if I say a word he doesn’t like, it feels like he snaps.
you’ve always drank but now you’re becoming a different person with it. it’s starting to consume you. I know what addiction looks like and I know how much has happened in a short time so i want to bare with you and lift you up. it’s hard to lift you up when im feeling put down and unappreciated.
I try to speak up but when I do I feel silenced as he’s always ready with a response. he’s starting to make me doubt my own reality and lose whatever sense of self I had.
he said i’d be an unfit mother, he threatens to kick me out. I understand i’m very emotional but trying to speak to you doesn’t help at all.
Why can't you just stop drinking? There are so many other ways to deal with your pain. I will always feel that pain and support you through it, but does it have to multiply my own?
Does it make you feel better to make me cry? I would be happy to show you how frequently I shed tears for you in a single day, if that is all you need to see.
I don't need alcohol to numb my pain, but I'm starting to need it to numb the pain you force on me. I'm not okay with that, because I chose to put in the work to heal. I just didn't know I would need to heal you too.
Al-Anon's Relationship Principles: Tradition I
CW: Family addiction, al-anon
The al-anon traditions for healthy relationships are inspired by the 12 recovery steps and emphasize how members of al-anon can build successful relationships despite addiction in the family. In this meta, I will be referring to the third episode, where Carmy and Syd capture Tradition I and work towards improving their relationship.
Tradition I
Summary: Our common welfare comes first. A healthy relationship depends upon unity.
Good communication is key to strong relationships. Recognizing and openly discussing mutual needs helps us support each other, even if sometimes we have to prioritize the best interests of the family or relationship over our own desires.
In a union, two people must work together by listening to each other's ideas, feelings, and opinions with an open mind. They must share their views and be willing to accept the decisions agreed upon. This requires them to consider themselves as equals in the relationship.
(sidebar: this episode made me realize they make it clear he is not her boss- he is her equal, so the naysayers don't actually listen to the show)
In Tradition 1- the unity of the marriage has to come first- and focus outside of this union, one would find themselves pulling in different directions.
The partners in a healthy relationship must believe that two are better than one for a relationship to work. Each has to pull his/her own load in order to maintain any kind of unity. Being joined by a mutual desire to have a healthy relationship, the life of that relationship will depend upon the maintenance of unity.
Earlier in this episode, Carmy focuses outside of the relationship, i.e. He stays in the past- not processing his trauma and facing the relationship he had with his brother and leaves Sydney to focus on the brigade.
But when he finally talks to her, listens, stays present in the union, and cares about her welfare, he's owns up to his mistakes.
What I love most about this scene is Carmy addressing that his brother was an addict while Sydney brings up back to the present moment. To focus on what they have and what they're building.
This is another moment that establishes Sydney and Carmy as partners and that they must focus on each other. This is a union that's beyond professional. Carmy focuses on his brother, and Sydney breaks the ice by joking about professionalism, almost like she's unconsciously telling him to let go of the past and focus on their relationship.
It's clear that this is a union, a marriage that they're building. What's also great is Carmy is the one who establishes early on that they're we. (We want to change the chemistry. Right? We want to change this restaurant, right?)
I think carmy knew early on he wanted Sydney to be part of his own recovery in al-anon. He wants to change the chemistry beyond the workplace. He shows this by getting personal with her when he brings up his brother. It's beyond boss-employee or mentor-mentee. They're building a relationship that impacts their personal lives.
the most annoying but also most crucial part of recovery/healing is that it really doesn't matter how justified you are in being upset at one person, a group of people, or whatever/whoever has done you wrong in the past, it is still your responsibility to heal that and do that recovery. those people who hurt you? it's not their job to fix what they did to you. it's not their job to apologize, it just isn't. whether or not they should is irrelevant. arguing that you're allowed to hate that person, that group of people isn't going to fix you, it isn't going to heal you. and you'll lose more than just the person who hurt you if you don't heal.
would you rather be right or happy?