I've been asked a few times by closeted trans people on whether I think they should come out to their parents or not. They try to give me details about how their parents are as people and such, but in the end it's hard to say.
There are a few things I think are most important to consider, especially if you're a minor or directly depend on your parents/family.
The biggest thing is physical safety. If you feel that physical retaliation is possible, it's probably not a good idea to come out right now. I hate to say that, but your safety is important so that you can live as yourself.
Other than physical safety risks and other forms of explicit abuse, it's hard to say if coming out is the right call. And it can be complicated. One parent could be totally chill and much easier to come out to, while the other is questionable at best. And it can definitely be a gamble.
In those cases, where you feel one parent would very likely be safe to come out to, the accepting parent should help you figure out what to do next. If they think it's a good idea to tell the other parent right now, if it should be planned, etc.
Sometimes, the responses can be surprising. Sometimes, the responses could actually just be really bland or anticlimactic. Sometimes it's very bad. It's ultimately up to you and your support system to evaluate the risk factors.
I'm always happy to try and help people out in this area, but it's important to understand that I'm not personally in your life and I can only give advice based on the information you give me. I definitely don't mind helping you evaluate the risks!
