#nct one-shot

[jaeminvore]

Hot & Cold

PAIRING — Lee Donghyuck x Fem!Reader

synopsis: Donghyuck and Y/N, Y/N and Donghyuck. Whatever the order was, everyone knew it wasn’t the same without the other; everyone knew that you two would end up together, one way or another. Only, no one ever told Donghyuck that it would take this long. It took an unnecessary long time for him to get where he wanted you to be, but it was worth all the years if it meant he’d get you in the end. After all, he wouldn’t spend all of his time and effort to plan on confessing with an old pink Nintendo DS Lite and a Pokémon Pearl cartridge.

GENRE — one-shot, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, comedy (crack treated seriously), mild angst, “opposites attract” kinda trope, non-linear narrative, slice of life (kind of)

WARNING(S) — implied sexual content (MINORS DNI 👹), but nothing too explicit, swearing, crude language and humor, talks of losing the v card, talks of sex, alcohol mention, alcohol consumption, general dumbassery between friends lol

WORD COUNT — 36K

ADDITIONAL NOTE(S) — at one point I end up nerding about some mechanics in Pokémon games lol, Pokémon games as a plot point in general, but this isn’t a Pokémon au. Which in turn made Hyuck and Y/N lowkey nerds despite their separate reputations LMFAO.

AUTHOR'S NOTE — *nervous laughter* after almost two months (?) and copious amounts of breakdowns, I am finally here to post my first ever nct fic—starting with my summerboy, Haechan ☀️ for those who have been anticipating this, I am so sorry it took me so long 😭 as it turns out, life is definitely unexpected like you can’t really guess what it’ll give you (in my case, a handful of minor inconveniences that kept me from finishing this fic in time) ANYWHO! all the titles for each part in this fic are songs all by Alina Baraz! I highly recommend to check out her stuff, especially Sunbeam and Moongate which are both EPs as they kind of encapsulate Hyuck & Y/N in a way lmfao n simply because I love her and her music 💖

FIC TAGLIST — @hyuckworld @jaylaxies @yizhoutv @vocalracha @person-standing @rrnhyuck

I: The Beginning

“Precious impressions, you were the answer; to everything, my everything.”

Donghyuck cried when you first met him.

As mean as it sounded back then, he had it coming.

You made it clear to both your parents that you weren’t exactly up to meeting your new neighbors just a day after your little family moved, and you had a good reason too! You were moody after the long fight, homesick because you had to leave a quarter of your life and friends behind and now you were being forced to do something you didn’t want to do.

If everything went your way, chances are, you would have been napping right at this very moment like you deserved. Still, you did try your very best to do just that, even if it was likely that your parents won’t be too pleased by it.

You were quite stubborn. It wasn’t exactly news to the couple—having to be the ones who had raised you themselves—so they weren’t really surprised when you chose to be a little grouchy with your approach. What they weren’t expecting was for you to argue on your insistence of staying indoors while they did all the required mingling to get a feel of what to expect, living in a place that was completely different from back home.

If you asked your parents on their account of what had happened on that fated sunny June afternoon, they would, more or less, equate it to them dealing with a fun-sized monster who really needed her summer afternoon nap.

The sudden rebellious urge didn’t last for too long (much to your parents’ relief). You knew your own limits as a child and at the small tell-tale sign of your mother’s lip twitching, you soothed your rather harsh start of a compromise with an eager promise that you’d be fine on your own. As an eight year-old, you weren’t too good with your words, but you made do with what was left of your determination.

Once you turned around, face set and posture straightened to persuade your father (who you knew was easier to break when you played your cards right) to let you off the hook, that’s when the couple knew you’d be quick to develop your independence. Which was nice, they supposed. They never really had problems raising their precious little girl in the first place, but they couldn’t help but to feel concerned once it occurred to them that you were more reserved than most kids within your age range.

You heard them talk about it once, in a lighthearted manner of course, yet you could tell that they were a little worried despite the shared adoring smiles. Eight year-old you immediately thought that this was their attempt on getting you out of your shell.

Just when you thought victory was on your side, your father ended up steeling himself the second he was about to crack underneath the power of your puppy eyes. It was usually a strong weapon against the softhearted man and you were sure it would work in tandem with the broken record of ‘can I please stay at home instead?’ But of course, the last decision always fell onto your mother, who was understandably exasperated by the sheer stubbornness you had displayed.

In the end, she had come up with a successful compromise to benefit everyone: you go with your parents next door and you get to eat whatever you want for dinner.

It started off nicely, you supposed, watching your mother converse happily with Mrs. Lee as if they were long-time friends right after being invited into her home. Her husband, on the other hand, wasn’t around. He was at work and will be home in a few hours so your father chose to join in the women’s conversation in a much less engaging manner as he did only speak when spoken to, or add his two cents when he deemed it appropriate.

After some time, Mrs. Lee chose to pay attention to you, a warm smile aimed your way as she motioned you over. As warm and welcoming she was like her smile, you still went and hid behind your mother instead, peeking out from the side of her leg to let the woman know you were still listening despite your shyness.

“We have a son the same age as her,” Mrs. Lee said, eyes shining brightly as your mother hummed in interest. “I think he’s playing in the backyard with his younger sisters.” She then turned to you, “would you like to meet him?”

Answering with a ‘no’ was already on your mind when she spoke briefly about her son and his sisters. You weren’t exactly in the best of moods to engage in any socializing if you could help it, but it seemed that your mother had already decided for you and before you knew it, you were led out to the spacious backyard with your parents in tow.

There stood a tree at the far middle end of where the fencing ended. A gazebo stood on its left where, from what you could see, had toys strewn across every surface available in the wooden structure and on the right stood a garden in pristine condition. The plot of loamy soil was the most interesting to you at this very moment, with its abundance of flora and homegrown herbs, so maybe bringing you here wasn’t too much of a hassle.

Well, that was what you initially thought until a loud cry stopped you from making a bee-line towards the man-made vegetation.

“Oh goodness,” Mrs. Lee huffed, “that would be my son, Donghyuck.” She said with a tired but fond smile.

At eight years old, you thought Mrs. Lee’s voice was magic, an incantation that brought forth a wild force known as Donghyuck being chased by two girls—his younger sisters, you assumed—and to you, it looked like they were in the middle of playing some version of tag where the girls in question joined forces to take the older boy down.

With a sigh, Mrs. Lee placed both hands on her hips and called for the siblings, “come over here and say hi to the new neighbors!”

Children had this peculiar habit of staring at strangers in public and needless to say, you weren't actually exempted from doing so. You couldn’t help it.

Lee Donghyuck reminded you of summer. He was what you would consider the quintessential of a ‘sweet summer child’ too. His windswept hair, beautiful tawny skin gently kissed by the sun’s rays and the impossibly bright grin he sported when his round eyes landed on your startled figure all alluded to that description.

It wasn’t limited to his appearance either. Just like how summer comes and goes, it’s no surprise that Donghyuck had some type of hastiness to him; full of energy and never being able to sit still. Unpredictable too that his eagerness on playing a game that was taxing on your already depleted energy levels from the jet-lag was starting to take a negative effect on your sullen mood.

And it wasn’t long before your patience wore thin and snapped.

“It’s Hyuck’s fault.” Haeun promptly answered, not at all bothered that her older brother was crying something ugly. If it was to come to your defense, you were silently grateful that she did; though you assumed that the oldest of the sisters was already used to Donghyuck’s waterworks if she was this unfazed by some stranger reducing her older brother into a blubbering mess.

“Hyuckie’s fault!” and the youngest, Jia, followed, pointing an accusatory finger towards a still wailing Donghyuck. “He was being mean to her!”

Mrs. Lee’s immediate response was to give Donghyuck an exasperated look.

“I just—I just,” he stuttered, hiccuping through his tears in defense of himself underneath the stern gaze of his mother, “I just wa—wanted to play with her!”

“You were being annoying.” Haeun immediately countered with as much sass a seven year-old could show, eyebrows furrowing together as she folded her arms over her chest. “I’d hit you too if you annoyed me.” Little Jia beside her nodded furiously, much to the bemusement of Mrs. Lee.

“And why are you crying, sweetheart?” Came the soft inquiry of your father as you turned to face him.

Your lips wobbled, your fingers wringing together as you eyed a sniffling Donghyuck trying his very best to wipe away his tears, “because he’s crying.” you said, honest and feeling a little remorseful, much to the surprise of the adults present.

As a child, you were still very much affected by the emotions of other kids. If someone was happy, you were happy. If someone was sad, then chances are you’d feel a little gloomy too—as simple as that and Donghyuck was no exception to it either.

You admit, it was mean of you to retaliate by smacking him as hard as you could on his arm, but it was what you could think of to make him stop being so rough with you. Young Donghyuck was essentially a stranger; a stranger you just met when you weren’t in the best of moods. More or less, Donghyuck’s overwhelming zeal to have you keep up with his energy was your last straw before your bottled up frustrations burst.

Sighing, your father crouched low enough so you’d be able to meet his eyes, yet you avoided doing so, feeling more than embarrassed that you had acted out. “Does that mean you’re sorry for hitting Donghyuck?”

You bit your lip and nodded, “yeah…” unlike Donghyuck, you weren’t exactly hiccuping through your tears, so you still had the mind to at least look at the young boy, showing how bad you felt for ruining his afternoon from him ruining yours (a rather fair exchange between kids, if you will).

A glare was what you were expecting to be aimed at you. You knew you deserved it for causing that much distress, but you were surprised to find the boy staring at you in silent wonder, cheeks and his button nose flushed from the crying.

Your mother smiled at the silent exchange, reaching out to wipe your tears away with her thumb, “why don’t you go over there and say sorry to him?” As daunting as the task was, you still listened and shuffled over to Donghyuck with tentative steps, your fingers clutching tightly at the front of your dress. You looked back at your mother one last time for reassurance and she nodded, gesturing for you to go ahead.

“Um, I’m sorry for hitting you. It was mean.” It was the best you could come up with your eight year-old appropriate vocabulary, but as long as you sounded genuine—which you were—then that was okay.

Eight year-old you had no standards on what should or should not be considered beautiful. Anything was beautiful to you at that age; in a way that you found beauty in most things like the way your mother would hum under her breath while she went about keeping your home spotless, or how the pattering of rain looked against your window on a gloomy morning.

You found beauty in the little things and the smile that lit up Donghyuck’s face at your apology was probably the most beautiful thing you had witnessed that day.

“That’s okay. I’m sorry for being annoying,” the smile dimmed just a tad—his own way of showing how sorry he was too. “We can play something else if you want? Most of the toys are in the gazebo over there.” And he pointed with a thumb over his shoulder before holding his hand out to you, waiting for you this time and not just grabbing it willy-nilly like before.

“Oh!” Haeun perked up as she held onto Jia’s hand, “we have dolls too!”

And the first time in the afternoon, you grinned and placed your hand on top of Donghyuck’s outstretched palm, feeling your cheeks warm when he didn’t even hesitate to give your hand a gentle squeeze.

On the way towards the wooden structure, Donghyuck startled out of nowhere and turned to you with wide eyes, visibly alarmed by something, yet he made no move to let go of your hand.

This worried you a little and so you asked: “are you okay?”

To which he replied with: “what’s your name?” and tilted his head rather cutely, very reminiscent of your neighbor’s puppy back home before you moved.

Oh.

Right, you never actually told him your name.

Relieved that it wasn’t actually anything serious to warrant that kind of expression on his face, you giggled before continuing your short walk; you led everyone this time and you managed to catch the matching looks of awe from Haeun and Jia.

“It’s Y/N.” You answered once you stood on the wooden steps. “Nice to meet you.”

Donghyuck’s lips parted in awe, “Y/N,” he repeated, testing it on his tongue before a grin broke out on his face. “It’s cute! Like you!”

And was the tumultuous start of your tentative friendship with Lee Donghyuck: both of you crying for very different reasons, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You thought Donghyuck wasn’t all that bad once school rolled around.

Well, tolerable was what you could describe Donghyuck’s overwhelming presence. He still got on your nerves when he could, though you could tell that it was all in good fun, assuming that he did not want another ‘fated June summer afternoon repeat’. It was more subdued when he poked fun at you, knowing his limits and whatnot as he did stop whenever he felt like your patience for him was wearing thin.

In retrospect, it was kind of Donghyuck’s love language, so to speak. Physical affection was higher up on the scale, yet teasing was definitely close to knocking it down a peg. You’ve grown used to it though; you didn’t really mind when Donghyuck pulled on your pigtails (literally and figuratively), but it was nice to know that he knew when to stop without you having to tell him. And if he, let’s say, needed that extra push to quit it, you were more than equipped to do so yourself.

In spite of the Donghyuck-esque approach, he was a surprisingly a good companion to have, ignoring how loud and brash he was.

Donghyuck really did his very best to give you a warm welcome, considering that you were a new face to the school he went to. He thought it was the least he could do for you since you kept him and his sisters company during the summer break, even if there were times that you wanted to be alone. Needless to say, you thought it was very considerate of him that you had easily let him off hook whenever he was in the mood to be an absolute menace to you, or to anyone else Donghyuck’s mischief called out to.

And that was the common misconception when it came with Lee Donghyuck. Some people never really bothered to look past the brazen attitude he was notorious for. As for you, you’ve spent nearly every day during summer getting to know the loud kid next door, so it didn’t really take you that long to look past Donghyuck’s reputation.

Donghyuck was loud in the literal sense, yes, but his actions spoke volumes with the way he took care of you at the tender age of eight. He immediately took you under his wing just a day after you first met and showed you the best spots to play in the neighborhood.

He seemed to make it a habit to hold your hand too and not once did he let it go as he dragged you around.

“Our backyard is still the best spot to play, I think.” He said as you walked past the playground full of the other kids who lived in the area. “I don’t really like playing with the kids here that much.”

“Why?”

The boy wrinkled his nose, continuing to lead you away from the rowdy place, “they’re annoying.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” You said with an airy tone, purposely avoiding Donghyuck's offended expression.

“For someone so cute, you’re kinda terrible.”

The first meeting between you two might have been disastrous, but that didn’t deter your nor Donghyuck’s parents’ drive on forcing friendship upon you both (Haeun and Jia included, of course. They weren’t ones to appreciate being left out). In fact, both sets of parents really made it so in lending a helping hand to solidify the blooming bond between you and Donghyuck, to the point that both families were always present in each outing, event or celebration planned by the other.

But the real kicker was that their efforts were kind of wasted when all it took for you and Donghyuck to acknowledge that you were, in fact, each other’s best friend was when Mr. and Mrs. Lee, along with your parents, conspired to buy two Nintendo DS Lites (a navy blue one for Donghyuck and a pink one for you) with Pokémon Diamond to be Donghyuck’s first ever DS game and yours being Pokémon Pearl as your Christmas gifts.

Of course, it didn’t take long for Donghyuck to come barging into your home unannounced, not that any of you were bothered by it anyway.

In fact, the L/N household kind of expected him to; you because you just knew he was going to brag about his newly acquired gadget that the cool kids seem to have of their own (in his own humble way, of course) and your parents, because they knew you were always the first person Donghyuck went to; they always believed that you were Donghyuck’s favorite person.

Yet something felt different when the sound of the front door opening and closing had your ears perking up.

That was new. Usually, he wouldn’t even bother closing the door in favor of getting to you as fast as he could, yelling for you to put your sneakers on and hauling you out before he remembered to shut the door behind him. So it was definitely a shocker when Donghyuck rounded the corner with a bashful smile, round eyes peering at your little family sitting right in front of the Christmas tree.

“Merry Christmas, is it okay for Y/N to come over now?”

Donghyuck didn’t even bat an eyelash at the glare he received, “I haven’t even opened my present yet.”

“Well? Hurry up? I wanna play. Mom told me we got the same game but different versions.”

“Way to ruin the surprise, stupid,” you grumbled.

Donghyuck laughed in response, “well? What are you waiting for? Open it!”

“You want me to what?”

You caught Donghyuck shying away from your sharp gaze as you looked up from your DS.

“Fight with Sookyeong in the grade above us.”

“Hyuck, he’s bigger than me,” you started, “what am I going to do, bite him until he cries?”

“That worked on me.” He mumbled, an image of you doing just exactly that flashing into his mind while he felt the ghost of pain from you biting down onto the fleshy part of his hand. Donghyuck doesn’t exactly remember what he did for you to lose your cool completely, but it must’ve been something heinous—to eleven year-olds—that you retaliated by baring your teeth and using them as weapons against him.

Painful as it was, it’s still a fond memory. Who knew you could lose your composure like that?

Donghyuck shook his head, “but no, I meant like ‘fight’ as in… battle him. With your pokémon.”

“What did you do.”

“What makes you think I did something?”

“You just asked me to battle someone when we both know you could also do it by yourself.” You arched an eyebrow, “What did you do?”

“I may or may not’ve told Sookyeong that he couldn't beat you in an actual competitive pokémon battle.” He then got this thoughtful look as he tapped his chin, “actually, I don’t think he knows what that meant either.”

“Hyuck!”

“What?! He said he was the best out of everyone! And I want to prove him wrong!”

Out of the two of you, no one would have expected that you would be the one who’d end up being so invested in a game about pixelated monsters beating the shit out of each other for sport. Looking back, you had probably started taking it seriously when Donghyuck had claimed that the game was becoming boring, now that both of you have some sort of obscure knowledge of the franchise.

Of course, you weren’t the type to disappoint and threw yourself into hours of educating yourself with the whole concept of building up a team with solid stats, handy abilities and move pools that would set up the battlefield and also cover a pokémon’s weaknesses; there was EV training, breeding pokémon for perfect IVs, learning what nature increased and decreased a pokémon’s stats—everything a person would need if they have plans on competing for real.

All of this was to entertain your best friend, for him to learn and get some practice too if both of you ever wanted to pursue playing professionally.

(Spoilers. You both didn’t. But it was a fun hobby).

Also, this was something you were leagues better at, other than academics. It was nice that you had something to hold above his head whenever Donghyuck got too cocky (being someone who was just naturally good at everything). Until this day, you still found it absolutely hilarious every time you brought up Donghyuck bawling his eyes out when you one-hit KO’ed his entire team, his pleads for you to take it easy on him falling deaf to your ears as you were far too gone in your own triumph to even consider letting him win for once.

You looked at him for a moment, eyeing his deepened pout and puppy eyes with muted disdain. “I can’t believe you’re asking me to fight your battles,” you huffed, shutting off your DS once you’ve saved and snapped it closed. “When is it?”

“Tomorrow. Lunch at the cafeteria.”

You nodded, “you owe me ice cream.”

“I’ll buy you any flavor you want.”

“Make that two”— you lifted two fingers for emphasis —”scoops.”

Donghyuck had never looked so relieved, reaching out to hold your hands in his, “I’d buy anything you want if I had more than five bucks to my name.” he said in earnest while you only rolled your eyes, but squeezed his hands in return.

You decided that you didn’t like Sookyeong at all.

“‘Nibbles’? How cute.” Sookyeong cackled, sharing a look of amusement with the rest of his peers, “I bet it’s a Loppuny. Only something cute and weak would be named that. You look like you only have cute pokémon on your team.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows rose at that. Was it just him or did that sound like he was trying to say you were cute? Whatever that was, he didn’t like it.

You were becoming more and more unimpressed every time Sookyeong opened his gaping mouth, “say cute one more time and I will stab you with a pencil.” Your tone was soft, but Donghyuck and the rest who stood on your side knew it was a promise.

Especially when you peeked over your pink DS to give Sookyeong a look so chilling that he and his side collectively shuddered. Though he quickly regained his composure, clearing his throat as he set his face into a scowl, gazing at you and your DS interchangeably with judgment filled eyes.

Not that you actually cared, but you did care for the ice cream you were going to get after this. It was good motivation, even better that it was your best friend’s treat.

Speaking of him, Donghyuck didn’t even bother trying to hide his smugness as he sat beside you, knowing fully well who ‘Nibbles’ was, being that he had also faced her in the past. You on the other hand, kept on a neutral facade. However, Donghyuck knew you like the back of his hand; he knew that you were feeling anything but neutral. He could tell when your lip twitched once you sent out Nibbles.

You were just as smug as he was. Victorious even. You had the right to be when you and Donghyuck looked up at the same time to watch the older boy’s face twist in surprise.

Sookyeong was right. ‘Nibbles’ was a cute nickname for a Gible. She was your baby, and she deserved the cutest of all nicknames.

“Sookyeong, meet Nibbles.” You smiled as sweetly as you could before you made your first move, tapping ‘Earthquake’ with your stylus to one-hit KO Sookyeong’s poor Infernape.

But Nibbles wasn’t a baby Gible anymore. Nibbles was a level 75 female Garchomp you had bred with perfect IVs—EV trained too—that swept Sookyeong’s remaining party pokémon in less than fifteen minutes.

Winning against Sookyeong was one of the few turning points of your friendship. But this particular encounter that involved Donghyuck’s particular need to prove himself right at your expense was the one that fully solidified the bond just after three years you’ve moved here.

That’s when you finally had gotten to acknowledge that Donghyuck was in fact, your best friend. Your other half, your favorite person and your sun to your moon. Donghyuck only laughed at you when you thought to relay the information.

“It took you 3 years years to realize that?” He snickered. The two of you were sitting on the curb right in between the front of your houses, eating the promised ice cream your best friend would get you. “I always thought you were mine the moment you made me cry just a week after my eighth birthday.”

You tilted your head, “the week I moved in?”

“Mhm. I called you a late birthday gift in my head after that too.” Donghyuck took a moment to gaze at the darkening sky, snorting and shaking his head as nursed his cone of ice cream. “It was silly, I know.”

“You’re such a nerd.” you giggled. It was, but it’s undeniably such a Donghyuck thing to say that it was endearing.

“Ah, but you’re the one who’s obsessed with Pokémon. You’re a nerd.”

You hummed, bumping your shoulder with his, “takes one to know one.”

II: Right There

“Might have forgot us. Would you remind me? Tell me to come back down.”

High school was—well, it was a lot.

In terms of the number of emotions you had gone through where puberty was at its highest? A fucking whirlwind was one way to describe the four years of surviving Hell on Earth. You had your fair share of ups and downs. It was never absent when you’re dealing with the persistence of time and the fact that you’re also persisting with time.

Though the one thing that remained a constant even with time’s persistence was Lee Donghyuck.

Well, it wasn’t at all surprising as Donghyuck always made it a point to stick to you like a leech whenever he could. In fact, he became notorious for it once the both of you stepped foot into the school; just like how you became known for being his best friend who looked perpetually pissed off on a daily basis that it didn’t help that you didn’t speak as much.

And that was fine. That was just how they viewed you and you would rather eat dirt than care about their opinion. Unlike your best friend, you didn’t thrive underneath attention. You would very much like to not be even perceived at all if it was possible, but being associated with Donghyuck made it impossible; much more so when you were seen together most of the time.

Yet the circumstances didn’t deter your efforts on making a name for yourself without having your identity attached or built around Donghyuck. He was just the kind of person who would instantly gain popularity for simply being himself. He was friendly. He was approachable and no sane person could ever resist at least having a second or two of his attention. You knew because you could never resist your best friend either, unless the time called for you to put your foot down then of course you’d have some sort of momentary immunity against his charms.

In retrospect, the cliché reputations that preceded you both could have been at least dialed down a little. Romance novelists would’ve had a kick if they had the chance to peek into your lives. A guy and a girl who grew up together and have been attached at the hip ever since? Oh they would be frothing at the mouth right at this very moment.

“We’re kinda like Troy and Gabriella from High School Musical, aren’t we?”

He was far too amused by his own comparison to even recall that Troy and Gabriella were romantically involved with one another, which clearly didn’t transcend over to you both, being ‘bffies’ since the time where being a snot-nosed kid was a trend back in ‘08.

Just as he said, you both were more of a realistic version of Troy and Gabriella—minus the being part of the Drama Club shtick; Donghyuck being athletic granted him a spot on the Men’s Volleyball team as a setter, leaving you to join the Academic Decathlon team so you had something else to keep your mind on, so he wasn’t entirely wrong in the comparison.

“Not really. I mean, it could work for you since you can actually sing,” and he had the voice to prove it. There wasn’t a day where you wouldn’t ask him to sing you a little something to fill in the spaces when the silence got a bit too loud; and he always delivered because of course he would be gifted with an angelic voice to counter the devil in him. “and Gabriella wasn’t exactly known for her resting bitch face, now was she?”

“I think you’re still pretty even if you look like you’re about to strangle the life out of me.” he said this with a dreamy lilt to his voice, eyes softened around the edges as he batted his eyelashes up at you in an overly exaggerated manner.

This earned a snort from you, peering down at him using your thighs to cushion his head, “you’re only saying that because I’m your best friend… or you just want something from me.” Donghyuck made a surprised noise when you squished his cheeks together with one hand. “Is that it? Tell me.” with each word, you squeezed tighter and tighter, laughing when he ended up resembling a fish.

Donghyuck swatted your hand away with a pinched expression, though, he didn’t actually part himself from the comfort of your thighs.

“Can’t I just give you a compliment without you assuming that I have any ulterior motive?”

“Name one time you actually gave me a genuine compliment.”

Donghyuck readily opened his mouth.

“The first time we met doesn’t count.”

Donghyuck immediately closed his mouth.

“Exactly. Now would you please let me play in peace?”

“Fine,” he huffed, turning onto his side to bury his face into your stomach, “I’m sleepy. I’m gonna take a nap right here.” The vibrations from his mumbling tickled you slightly that your fingers raked through his hair to yank it back on reflex, earning a disapproving grunt.

You soothe him by being gentler this time, nails lightly scratching his scalp, “hope you suffocate yourself in your sleep.”

“As a man, being suffocated by a woman’s soft tummy is an ideal way to go—ow!“

“Shut up or I’ll release every pokémon you have in your Sun cartridge.”

At the end of the day, government assigned reputations never followed you home. There was no reason to keep up images with each other anyway; not when you had both seen each other at your worst. As soon as you step off of school property, it was just Y/N and Donghyuck; Donghyuck and Y/N, two best friends who spent the remaining hours of the day either helping each other out with homework or rot your brains by playing the current Pokémon game that had recently hit the shelves.

(Knowing you though, homework always came first, much to Donghyuck’s displeasure, yet he couldn’t say no to you. He never could).

Then came the latter half of Junior year; the year where you started seeing less and less of your best friend.

With the continuous rise of Donghyuck’s popularity, it didn’t take long for him to form a clique of his own which consisted mostly of his teammates, a few popular figures here and there, and of course a few select people who couldn’t make their intentions any more clearer. It’s not like you minded it. Joining the Decathlon team meant that you’d be exposed to more people too, therefore garnering a friend group of your own.

It wasn’t as big as Donghyuck’s own circle, but you were still happy that you were able to form bonds with other people on your own, and most notably with Huang Renjun, who would soon join your little clique in the upcoming years.

There wasn’t really much to say about him, except that he was, more or less, a male version of yourself; minus the fact that he was opinionated and had a shorter temperament compared to you. While you were opinionated yourself, you could never quite match Renjun’s level of sharp words, harsh truths and rare moments where his aggression would come out to play.

Still, even if Renjun was more than good company you could ever ask for, you couldn’t help but to wonder about your best friend; how he was doing, if he was fairing alright without your guidance with his school work. Hell, you even stopped showing up to his volleyball practices because you weren’t sure if he even wanted you there, and he never even thought of texting or calling you to ask why you were a no-show.

The only semblance of interaction you were able to get from him was a wave or smile whenever you saw each other in the halls. Even interactions off of school grounds were becoming scarce. You didn’t walk home together anymore and it’s usually Renjun who would do so whenever he could even when he didn’t need to. You assumed it was his way of comforting you, knowing that this whole funk you’ve found yourself in with Donghyuck (who probably wasn’t even aware) was starting to affect you as time went on.

It had gotten a bit more troublesome when Senior year started, the very same year where college was definitely the next step once you graduate from this hell hole and somewhere along the way, Donghyuck had gotten himself a girlfriend.

Finding it out from Renjun instead stung quite a bit too.

You and Donghyuck used to tell each other everything, from the most irrelevant bit of information to secrets you both promised to take to the grave no matter what. Now however, it seemed that you had been demoted to being someone of Donghyuck’s past, leaving you behind so he could thrive underneath the spotlight that came with being a phenomenal athlete. You heard there were a lot of scholarship offers for him too.

“Just admit that you miss him, Y/N.” Renjun said from his spot on your bed, a book in hand while you sat at your desk. “It’s so obvious that you do.”

“I do. It’s not like I kept it as a secret.” You were just good at masking what you truly felt and it wasn’t exactly an easy process, perfecting your poker face; well, that and the fact that the entire school population was already used to you looking like you were about to permanently silence the next person who looked at you weirdly.

“Then why haven’t you reached out to him? You do realize that a lot of people are finding it weird that best friends Lee Donghyuck and L/N Y/N aren’t on speaking terms, right?”

“I realize now that our high school is full of nosy people.”

Renjun hurled a Pokéball plushie towards your head, “clearly not the point here, Y/N.” He ignored the murderous look you threw over your shoulder as he snapped his book shut, unbothered. “It’s our last year of high school and you don’t have plans to… talk to him about all this before we move away for college?”

“What is there to talk about? It’s not like we fought and decided not to speak to each other ever again.” And you wished that it was the case. At least having an actual fight so intense that even speaking to each other was off the plate would have given you the closure that you needed. It was better than having to lay there in your bed deep into the night, wide awake and narrowing down what exactly was the catalyst of the silent fallout between you two.

“That’s more of a reason to talk to him then. Seriously, nothing has stopped you from confronting the problem before. What’s different now?”

Well, there was Donghyuck’s girlfriend, for one.

There wasn’t much to say about her actually. Her name was something you didn’t really care to find out. Why would you when you had no plans on interacting with her? Though there were some instances where she did actually try to get a rise out of you from afar; ranging from glares as she huddled closer to Donghyuck whenever she caught you staring, to smug looks she would shoot you when your best friend threw an arm around her or showed her an ounce of affection.

Being somewhat of a pretty soul yourself, you didn't give her the satisfaction, merely arching an eyebrow at the display before turning to one of your friends to start a conversation which furthered your cold and aloof reputation, even if you were seething in anger deep down.

Childish as the whole exchange was, you immediately got the message: she wanted you to stay away and so you did.

This was all for Donghyuck though, not his girlfriend, and getting in between his relationships was the last thing you’d ever want to do, so you thought it was better to stay away than to further complicate things.

On the other hand, Renjun didn’t appear too pleased once relaying the information. He looked as murderous as you did moments prior. Smaller he was compared to most of the guys in your school, Renjun was stronger than he looked that it took you jumping onto his back, locking your hands and ankles together around his frame to keep him from barging in on the Lee household.

In the end, you promised that you would pull your big girl pants on and talk to him once you felt like it was safe.

“Good, or I’d be forced to resolve this myself and you wouldn’t want that.”

“Wait, why wouldn’t I want that?”

Renjun only gave you an enigmatic smile.

Whatever he meant by that, he was right and you didn't want to risk Renjun’s unpredictability, nor did you want him to step in when the outcome of a black and blue Donghyuck was more than likely. Lovely as Renjun was on most occasions, you knew there was something absolutely evil brewing inside of him and you would prefer to not be on the receiving end of it.

Though, from the looks of it, Renjun wouldn’t have to resort into doing anything extreme for your sake.

The same night your fellow Decathlon team member hung out before and after dinner time, you received a text from someone you weren’t at all expecting with how things were going.

summerboy ☀️ [11:43 PM]: y/n?

Donghyuck texted you. He finally texted you after months of radio silence and the grudge you had against him immediately flew out of the window as you scrambled to type a reply.

You

hyuckie?

are you okay?

— 11:43 PM

summerboy ☀️

im fine

were u sleeping?

— 11:44 PM

You

I was about to

but that’s okay

did you need something?

— 11:44 PM

summerboy ☀️

im comin up

— 11:45 PM

You

?

the door is locked

— 11:45 PM

summerboy ☀️

window 😎

— 11:46 PM

The look Donghyuck gave you from the floor is nothing short of sheepish as you gazed down at him with an unreadable expression.

Donghyuck grinned, "hi."

“You could have just gone through the front door like a normal person,” you deadpanned, giving Donghyuck a hand to help him up from falling into a heap after stepping through your window, “all that and for what? A possible concussion?”

“Hey! I risked my life for you!”

“I didn’t ask you to. Your point?”

Donghyuck blinked as his shoulders slumped, “yeah I got nothin’,” he grumbled.

“I expected nothing less,” you shrugged, a crooked smile playing on your lips as he scowled in return. “Are you staying the night?”

"Might as well. Climbing your house like a heathen tired me out." and as if on cue, he yawned which then made you yawn too, snorting when Donghyuck giggled. "Do I have any spare clothes ‘round here?“

That he did. There was literally a small space allocated for his own articles of clothing that had magically appeared in random spots in your house in your closet. It didn't take him too long to change into something more comfortable, a plain black shirt and a pair of drawstring shorts that did his long legs justice when he wore them; it was something you appreciated in silence, and you would rather die than admit it, not wanting to inflate his already big ego.

"I didn't know I still had some clothes over here." Donghyuck said, closing your bedroom door behind him, You promptly scooted towards the side to give him space on your bed as you pushed down the covers.

"Yeah. I guess it's been months since you paid a visit that you forgot."

It was a fact. It's been quite a while since he had stepped into your room, much less your home and it was something you said without any other intention other than to let him know exactly how long he's been gone. Your parents even wondered about him and oftentimes, you would just tell them that he had been busy with his own thing and he'd eventually show up once he was ‘less busy’.

Donghyuck however, didn't think the same as his posture stiffened, worry immediately clouding his face as he rushed over to you, "Y/N—“

You held up a hand, not wanting to hear it, "it's okay. You're here now, that's all that matters."

”I didn't see you at the bleachers earlier." He said once he made himself comfortable underneath the thick covers right next to you, both of you looking up at the ceiling.

"I know," you wanted to attend his game though, Donghyuck always made it fun for the crowd who got the chance to see him play. “but you didn't exactly say that you wanted me to come. And I didn't think your girlfriend would appreciate it if I showed up.”

“Ex-girlfriend," Donghyuck corrected and that got you to look at him, caught off-guard because you could've sworn they looked fine a few days ago. Then again, you weren't exactly privy to the actual nature of their relationship. "I broke up with her at the party I was just at," He managed a rueful smile before facing the ceiling again, "then I came straight here."

“I… don't see how that's related to your breakup.”

Donghyuck chuckled at that, a low and quiet little sound that it's becoming obvious that the exhaustion was starting to creep in, “for someone freakishly smart, you sure are naive."

You shifted onto your side to land a smack on his chest, earning a whine, yet he didn’t make a move to remove your hand when you let it rest there, "I'm not exactly a cassanova, now am I?"

"I know," and the soft grin he'd given you was nothing but fond—even if it looked like he was teasing you—as you were in fact, not as active in the dating scene as he was. There were some who had confessed, but you weren't exactly what they would call 'interested'. "I missed you, you nerd. That's why I'm here.”

“'didn't seem like you did." you said, quiet—feeling small as you curled in on yourself. "It's been months, Hyuck.”

"And I'm really sorry,” his hand held onto yours—the one that made its home on top of his chest. “I know any amount of apologies won't be enough to make up for all the times I was gone, but I am genuinely so fucking sorry for making it seem like I’m leaving you behind.” You don’t even question how in the world he figured that out just by looking at your face. “Besides, I know how stir-crazy you get when you aren’t able to battle someone who’s quite close to your level as I am.”

“Yes, because I obviously keep you around to entertain me with pokémon battles.”

“I learned from the best after all. It’s good practice even if you kick my ass every time.” Donghyuck sighed, patting your hand twice while gazing at you, thoughtful. “YangYang—my teammate—is good at the whole competitive battling thing too. He’d give you a run for your money.”

“Oh? Found a replacement for me, have you?”

“I wouldn't dream of replacing my best girl.” He said that with so much conviction that you had nothing else to say, choosing to just stare at him in wonder as Donghyuck gazed back, your hand still under his. “I’ve thought of you every day, you know? Wondering if you were doing okay even if I wasn’t beside you like I usually was.”

“I’ve thought the same thing actually, but it looked like you were fine. Between the two of us, you’ve always handled the attention well.”

“Yeah, but I just—I just felt like something was missing. You were missing. It wasn’t hard to figure out when the only girl I’ve been talking to everyday was my ex-girlfriend.” His face twisted slightly at that, “she was nice I guess, nice until she wasn’t.”

“Why’d you even break up?”

“We got into a stupid argument. It’s not really worth rehashing because it was that stupid. She crossed boundaries that I didn’t want crossed and”— then his face twisted further into something you recognized as seething anger as he continued talking —“and then she started dragging you into it, saying stupid shit that just sent my anger through the roof.”

Your heart sank at that despite you having an idea that maybe his ex-girlfriend didn’t like you all that much even if you knew you didn’t do anything to warrant such a level of baseless hatred, “is—is it why you haven’t been around that much?”

Donghyuck shook his head, “it doesn’t matter. Anyone who talks shit about you isn’t worth my time and energy and I don’t want to be around anyone who doesn’t know their boundaries either.”

“Well, I’m sorry that your relationship failed?”

“Meh, it happens. I mean, it fucking sucks ‘cause that was like, my first serious relationship? But not to the point where I’ll wallow in self-pity because of it. I still have to graduate, you know?”

“Good, because I don’t want to deal with you crying, you crybaby.”

“Ah, the eloquence of Y/N. You never disappoint in that area. Brings tears to my eyes.” The softness of his laugh brings an impossibly bright grin on your face as you giggled as quietly as you could too, snuggling closer to his side, something he welcomed with open arms—literally and figuratively.

“Hey Hyuck?”

Donghyuck hummed as he nuzzled his nose into your hair.

“I missed you too.”

Being best friends from such a young age, there were always going to be firsts you and Donghyuck would come to experience together as time persisted. First ever sleepover, first ever trip that you and Donghyuck planned without the insistence of your parents and his sisters and the first ever time you and Donghyuck snuck out to get drunk of your asses, only to get caught when his parents had found you both drunkenly fighting for rights on the toilet bowl to puke into.

(The outcome of that was both of you being grounded for a month and also being banned from seeing each other during that time too. At least Haeun and Jia were there to keep you entertained. They were like the little sisters you never had).

Going through that not-so-fight, but a period of absolute radio silence was added to that too.

You had a handful of arguments in the past that were relatively quick to resolve (most of them stemmed from petty rivalry before you even recognized each other as best friends anyway), but this one was on a scale of its own and you considered it as the first ever full-blown fight, ignoring the fact that no hurtful words as such were exchanged.

And it’s a no-brainer that this was added to the lists of ‘Donghyuck and Y/N’s firsts’. Well, it was more on the latter’s account; you know, the first ever real heartbreak he went through.

But a niggling thought in the back of your mind considered the whole ‘cold war between Lee Donghyuck and L/N Y/N’ as your own experience of a real heartbreak. After all, it did hurt like a bitch, thinking that your best friend was going to leave you behind forever.

The fight-but-not-really-fight was pretty much tossed to the side after that night as if nothing happened.

Fast forward a couple weeks, you had now graduated and somehow the four of you were set to attend the same university, which was a complete shock for you and Donghyuck considering the discussion was never brought up until you all were sat at the Lee’s gazebo.

Renjun squinted at the matching looks of astonishment both you and Donghyuck sport, “honestly, I’d be more surprised if the two of you didn’t end up going to the same university.” He said, swirling the remnants of his drink.

YangYang nodded his head in agreement, “yeah. The chances of the same school offering Hyuck a sports scholarship and Y/N an academic one is slim to none. Like, if I was either one of you, I’d find a way to get into the uni myself. I mean, it’d feel so weird not having my bestie with me, y’know?” He shrugged, an innocent enough looking smile curling his lips which could have fooled anyone if it weren’t for the fact that the three of you had a vague idea of how YangYang’s mind worked.

“Which you did,” Renjun pointed out. “you found out all three—” he made a vague motion that meant he was talking about himself, you and Donghyuck “—of us had been offered scholarships and used your… connections to get in.”

“Being a trust fund baby has its perks,” YangYang said with a proud huff. “And hello? We’re in this together and hell if I’m gonna let you guys leave me behind!”

“I would have preferred that actually.” Renjun mumbled into the rim of his cup. However, YangYang heard his gripe loud and clear and the duo now argued among themselves with Donghyuck adding fuel to the fire, cackling at the verbal beating YangYang was getting.

That left you to watch the trio of men before you getting into their shenanigans; a fond sort of look which you regarded each of them with until your found your gaze lingering on your best friend longer, a sweet smile tugging on your lips as he giggled at the enraged look on Renjun’s face. Truth be told, you really can’t imagine a life without these three following you to college, much less your best friend.

From all the time you spent with Donghyuck, you supposed he might have developed a sixth sense where he could feel someone’s eyes on him. Being one who had always been in the spotlight, it wasn’t too far-fetched, and being with you—well, Donghyuck had always known you better than anyone else because you found yourself looking into his eyes.

Donghyuck mirrored your current demeanor, leaving Renjun and YangYang to their bickering selves as he reached over to grab hold of your hand, a habit he had yet to grow out of, “looks like you’re stuck with me again.”

“Like I had a choice to begin with,” you feigned exasperation, “admit it, you chose the same place I did because you knew it was my dream school.”

“As much as I adore you, Y/N, I chose it because it was the only school that offered me a full sports scholarship.” With talent like that? You doubted it, but you chose to not say anything as you hummed to acknowledge his answer. He could have chosen a better university, one that would have an amazing program to cater to his interests.

Still, it made you happy that he still thought of including you in his future, just like how you wanted him to be in yours.

“Okay.”

“I’m serious. It was the only university that gave me the offer.”

You laughed at his insistence as you reached over to ruffle his hair. It was dyed a light brown and rumor has it he planned on re-dyeing it soon. “I believe you.”

“Good,” he breathed out, avoiding your eyes, “then, I’m trusting you to take good care of me over there.”

“Right back at you, Hyuckie.”

III: Be Good

“Goddamn, it hurts. Man, it really burns; Universe be testing, but it could be worse.”

“Y/N,” Donghyuck dragged out your name in a whine, peeking over the couch, “how much longer?”

“You know, if you have the time to whine, I think you have the time to lessen your heavy workload, architect.” You reminded him, not bothering to look up from your laptop. “I’ve heard that junior year is supposed to be rough for you guys.”

“It’s the third week of the semester!” He whined again, louder this time and you were sure the other people living on your floor could have heard him. “Just what are you so busy for? We’ve barely hung out!”

“I was just at your place hanging out with you and the guys yesterday. Don’t be dramatic.”

Okay so maybe he was being dramatic, sue him, but you’ve been on your laptop for more than thirty minutes already since he had graced you with his lovely (“debatable.”) presence that he actually felt like he was going to die if you didn't give him any attention. You know, like Tinkerbell or something. Except that he wasn’t a cute fairy, but your cute best friend who needed his daily fix of your quote-unquote eloquence.

Donghyuck, in all his argumentative glory, opened his mouth to prolong the conversation since he had gotten your attention and that was all he was able to do, because the sound of a door opening and then closing further disrupted his thought process as Winter, your roommate, rounded the corner.

Winter quickly skirted around the dining table to get to you, “Y/N, I’m heading off to work—” then she made the mistake of looking up and met eyes with Donghyuck, losing all the elation she had prior to finding another presence in her apartment “—oh. You’re here.”

Donghyuck blinked incredulously at the colder than normal greeting, looking at you for help and only to deflate when your attention was unfortunately still on your stupid laptop, “why’d you say it like that?”

“Reasons I don’t have to tell you.” Winter said, vague. She watched Donghyuck for a good moment or two, just… staring—with her soulless eyes, he thought with a shudder—which made him feel like he’d committed a felony from how she’s keeping this up; face blank with hints of judgment when she squinted her eyes by a millimeter, like she knew something he didn’t.

Thankfully, you’ve managed to pull Winter’s attention from him and Donghyuck couldn’t help but to let his mouth part in disbelief when your roommate’s entire demeanor did a complete 180; all smiles as you showed her whatever you were working on.

Winter reached down from behind you to scroll through the document you had opened with the trackpad, “yeah, that looks perfect.”

Donghyuck narrowed his eyes. What looked perfect?

“You think so?”

If you needed a second opinion, he was literally quite there.

“I know so.” Winter finalized, patting your hair down before kissing your cheek. “I’ll be back around… 10-ish.” She said, then stood to her full height as her stern gaze, once again, fell onto him, a constant recipient of it. “Do something stupid to this apartment and I will ruin your life.”

He flinched, clearing his throat, “I’d never dream of it.”

Much to Donghyuck’s disbelief, your roommate’s abrasiveness earned a light chuckle from you as you waved over your shoulder, “see you later, Winter.”

With one last pointed look, Winter stepped out of the apartment and closed the door behind her.

He heaved out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “she’s going to kill me one day. I just know it, Y/N. You can have everything of mine when I die.”

“You’ve said that for the past three years and yet here you are, still alive.” You countered as your fingers nimbly flit across the keys. “What did you do to piss her off this time?”

“I was hoping you’d be able to answer that,” he grumbled, letting his arms rest on top of the backrest so he could rest his cheek on them to watch you at work. He probably breathed louder than intended. Donghyuck isn’t sure, but he was certain she had a problem with his presence alone. “What are you working on anyways?”

“Well, I want to gain some experience so I’m filling up application forms for some volunteer work before I start my internship next school year,” you began, “there’s a big hospital in the city proper and a few clinics here and there that are accepting volunteers. But I’m really hoping to get into the hospital. Maybe I could get a good word for myself if I’d ever want to settle on becoming a nurse and scrap the idea of going to med school.”

Donghyuck whistled, impressed, “wow, already thinking of the future, are we?” He hasn’t even thought of possible internships yet and here you are already making plans. If things started to go south on his end, would you be open to taking him in as your sugar baby? He can cook, he can clean and he’d be the best cuddle buddy you could ever ask for.

“Yes, and I know you’re thinking of something weird, Hyuck. I can see it on your face.” You said without even looking up. “And there’s nothing wrong with being prepared. I’m not very good at talking to people so… practice, you know?”

“What are you talking about? You talk to me just fine.” In other words, if you were able to handle Donghyuck and all his brazen glory, then you could handle anyone. But you didn’t seem too convinced by his own reassurance, shrugging half-heartedly with a wry curl of your lips.

“Sure, but I don’t think my patients would appreciate the constant back-and-forth. I do have to be nicer than I usually am,” you snorted. Perhaps it would be nice if your future patients would share the same demeanor as your best friend. That would definitely make your life easier, being used to the way his mind worked. Then again, you just knew you’d leave the hospital with a migraine if you had to deal with at least ten succeeding patients with the same behavior.

“How about you?” Your best friend beamed when you finally looked up from your laptop to regard him with imploring eyes, “any plans for your internships?”

Donghyuck feigned a contemplative look on his face before lifting one shoulder, pantomiming a shrug, “I’ll probably apply to as many architectural firms as humanly possible and pray at least one of them accepts my application.”

You arched an eyebrow at that. He could just apply to a few of them and he’d be accepted the moment he sent his application. You’ve seen his portfolio (3D models, floor-plans, hand-drawn sketches—everything) and you were no architectural savant yourself, but it would come to no surprise if said firms ended up fighting over who gets to take Donghyuck in.

“But I’m not gonna do that right now because it’s only been three weeks into the semester.” He said, stressing over each word while leveling you with his version of a stern gaze, a very rare feat on its own considering he was usually on the receiving end of such an expression. “I’m sure they’ll take one look at your stellar grades and accept you right away. Can’t you just relax for now?”

With a long-suffering sigh, you raised your hands, letting him win this argument (?) “Okay, fine. I’ve been working on this application for almost 2 hours anyways,” you quickly waved off his incredulity as you closed your laptop.

You rolled your eyes when you found a pleased Donghyuck regarding you with an equally pleased smile as you made your way towards the couch. He automatically scooted off to the side before you heavily plopped beside him with a grunt.

“There, I’m all yours.” you joked, reaching over to grab the TV remote from the coffee table to put on something as background noise and Donghyuck responded with a hum of contentment, cuddling up to your side, resting his head on your shoulder.

“You know… Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl are coming out soon.”

Donghyuck blinked a few times, processing what you just said as he subconsciously patted his pocket, where his phone was, “yeah, I heard.”

He already knew of the release and he was absolutely over the moon that its predecessor was getting a remake. It was the reason why he was here in the first place and not being the diligent student his parents had expected of him. He had you filling that role for both him and yourself. Hitting two birds with one stone or whatever.

A high pitched yelp slipped past Donghyuck’s lips when you had sat up abruptly as you turned to face him with your fist hovering in between you both.

“Rock, paper, scissors. Whoever wins gets to pre-order the version they want first.”

There’s a flash of determination in his eyes when he bumped his fist with yours, “you’re on.”

It’s on the fifth attempt where you ended up winning even after the mind games Donghyuck tried to instill on you. Being the competitive creature he was, he’d do anything for him to come out victorious, ignoring his unfavorable methods to ensure his win; he wasn’t afraid to play dirty. No one was safe from it and not even you.

So it was only natural for him to sulk when you had shouted in your victory, waving a hand formed into the shape of paper in the air while Donghyuck pouted at his fist, being the sore loser that he is. His sullen mood doesn't last that long however, because you had picked Shining Pearl, meaning he’d get Brilliant Diamond, the version he wanted.

It’s an unspoken rule of some sort: Donghyuck would get the first title game, while you would take the second with no questions asked. Consequently, it kind of suited your dynamic as your best friend usually took the lead in most situations and one can imagine how elated sixteen year-old Donghyuck was when Pokémon Sun & Moon was announced.

(“It’s like Nintendo and Gamefreak are catering to us, Y/N.“ Donghyuck all but squealed as he wiggled in excitement next to you on your bed, a week after you both got your respective cartridges, “Sun and Moon. Get it? Me being the sun—“

“To my moon? Very fitting, yes. Can we start trading the version exclusives now? I really want that Alolan Vulpix,” you paused, ”and a Cranidos.”)

Moments later, Donghyuck had his chin hooked over your shoulder as he watched you make your purchase with your Nintendo Switch, “You got any plans tonight?” he asked at the same time the purchase was confirmed, having you let out a happy noise of some sort as you placed the gadget down.

“I do actually,” you answered as you picked up your phone to scroll through your reminders. “I’m meeting up with Jaemin. We have a study session at the library.”

And just like that, the contentment Donghyuck was relishing in hanging out with you all afternoon dissipated into nothing to be replaced by an uncomfortable feeling curling in the pit of his stomach as he caught the faint smile stretching your lips. Initially, his plan was to crash at your place until Winter inevitably kicked him out—as what usually happens—though it seems that you weren’t as thrilled with him monopolizing most of your time.

He’s still in your apartment even if you made it clear to him that you had places to be.

Donghyuck’s pout deepened as he watched you put on your running shoes by the door, “do you really have to go?”

“Well, you could come with,” and you immediately laughed at the obvious disgust twisting his face; appalled that you even had the gall to suggest something ludicrous. Weren’t you supposed to be the smart one? “but I guess you wouldn’t want to.”

It doesn’t even take a second for Donghyuck to think of an answer, “I’d rather get stabbed by a T-square.” he grumbled, huffing in a petulant manner as he crossed his arms. He had two of them; acrylic ones that could double as weapons in case a zombie virus outbreak were to happen, but he digressed.

“I mean, Na Jaemin’s smart too,” it actually physically pained him to say that. “I don’t see why he needs you to study with him.” He ended up stalking over with heavy steps when you motioned to him, albeit reluctantly.

“Jaemin, just transferred to our university. You know this, Hyuck.” You answered for the nth time every time he asked the same question, but with different reiterations. “And I’m helping him to catch up. As I usually do.”

The urge to completely go on a tangent about his displeasure on the matter was strong—the strongest it has ever been and he had half the mind to try and put his point across again. But before Donghyuck was a man full of strong opinions, he was a weak, weak man who was always humbled by your infamous stern gazes—eerily similar to how Winter stared at him earlier—that the complaints died on the tip of his tongue.

“Hey,” Donghyuck started off quietly, a hand slowly reaching out to tug onto the jacket you were wearing. “I’m still your best friend, right?”

The snort you let out was one of the many ugliest sounds you could ever make. Yes he kept track, but he still thinks it’s cute either way, “is that an actual question, or are you asking out of jealousy?” You teased, one corner of your mouth tipping up when he tugged on your jacket harder in retaliation, a flush high on his cheeks.

“Just answer the question.” Donghyuck grumbled, letting go of your clothing once you whirled around.

“That depends, am I still your best friend?” You threw back with a sardonic tilt to your mouth, “you and Renjun seem closer lately. Should I be worried?”

He laughed, “Renjun is just a placeholder for you, Y/N, don’t worry. You’ll always be my no. 1 best friend.”

“Then you’re still my favorite person.”

That… wasn’t exactly what he was expecting for an answer and the sincerity enveloping each syllable had completely disarmed him too, more so when you gathered him into a hug and pressed your cheek against his.

“Yeah?” he said, dazed.

“Yeah.” and the smile you gave him was one of the rare ones where there weren’t any hints of it being forced. It was genuine. It was sweet and it was the same smile that made Donghyuck feel like the luckiest man on earth to witness it.

“Talk later, Hyuckie.”

Donghyuck didn’t really like labeling himself as the jealous type.

While he did find himself going green with envy from time to time over the most meager of reasons, he didn’t consider it as one of the defining traits of his character. He grew up surrounded by love. He was used to being fawned over by every boy and girl alike, commanding attention wherever his feet took him. He always thought he had no room to be jealous when he was extremely loved from the moment he was brought to this world until present.

When you were younger, you often joked that he’d do well as an idol, that it wouldn’t be too ridiculous of an idea and while some part of Donghyuck agreed, he didn’t think he’d survive if he had to move away from home—move away from you.

It’s funny almost; funny in a way that the idea bore some semblance to what had happened between you and him during high school. Although there wasn’t that much of an increase in the physical distance, there was on the emotional side of things and to him, that was way worse.

Donghyuck had never told you, never saw the point in bringing up what happened and he had no room to lament the period of your absence back in high school, knowing it was him who created that gap between you both, but not having with you during that time really sucked. It really felt like there was something missing even if he was surrounded by his own peers; that is, until his eyes landed on your figure, laughing at something Renjun had said as you hid your smile behind your hand.

See, as jealous as Donghyuck could get when the time called for it, he never really found himself being as such when it came to either Renjun or YangYang—Renjun especially as he almost mirrored you in so many ways that you might have been each other’s soulmates with the way you just seem to immediately understood each other without even finding the need to talk. That, and the fact that Renjun had been a placeholder until Donghyuck had come crashing into your life for the second time.

(Renjun looked five seconds away from smacking Donghyuck with the scorching pan he’s using to cook, “don’t be stupid. Being soulmates doesn’t necessarily mean you both should be direct mirrors of each other. Why is this a problem again?”

YangYang made a noise of agreement as he licked his spoon clean, eyeing the omelet sizzling on the pan with as much hunger a man could still have after eating a full meal, “yeah and I don’t think Y/N is into the whole selfcest thing either.”

“Do you ever think before you speak?” The eldest of the trio said with disdain.

Well, they were both no help. Renjun’s general aloofness to Donghyuck and his problems-which-aren’t-really-problems-unless-it-inconvinienced-Renjun-too and YangYang’s questionable thought process fueled by his obsession with his online presence.

Donghyuck let his forehead smack against the marble island counter, groaning, “you guys are useless.”)

Donghyuck was well aware that you were your own person. He knew that you could handle yourself just fine without him having to hold your hand through anything you deemed a little hard to overcome. You had your own set of friends, just like he did and had never felt any sense of competition when it came to sharing your time.

That is until he had the (dis)pleasure to be acquainted with Na Jaemin.

The whole “acquaintanceship” was quite abrupt too.

One second it was you, Donghyuck and Renjun meeting up at your usual spot—YangYang elsewhere with his other group of friends—with you being in a surprisingly chipper mood than both men were used to, but they didn’t think too much about it as they welcomed the rare sunny disposition with open arms.

Then the next, you pushed past your best friend with blatant disregard for his well-being, tossing him to the side like some rag doll and Donghyuck was well on his way to give you a piece of his mind. He had a loud enough voice so you’d still be able to hear his dramatic scolding the farther you got away from where he stood.

That was initially the plan of action until he and Renjun watched you, with both of their jaws slackened, break into a sprint and leap into a pair of arms belonging to a man Donghyuck hadn’t seen before ever in his life; and you can trust him—he knew everyone and everyone—when he said he had no clue on who this mystery Adonis was as said Adonis lifted you up and spun you around with a bright grin that eerily matched your own.

Needless to say, Donghyuck was downright offended.

“She never jumped on me like that.” He said airily in disbelief, watching you brush the dark hair away from the irritatingly handsome dude’s eyes with delicate fingers and earning what looked like a soft chuckle in return. “She’s never that excited to see me.” He whined, slumping uselessly against Renjun’s side.

The scowl on Renjun’s face was enough to bring even Satan himself to his knees as he twisted Donghyuck’s nipple, earning a pained screech. “That’s because she sees you everyday against her will, dipshit. C’mon, let’s go say hi.”

Donghyuck did not want to say ‘hi’ to the demigod who looked all too comfortable standing so close to you, not when he posed as a clear threat; but what Renjun says goes and now he’s here, standing right in front of your friend (?)

Contrasting Donghyuck’s apparent unease, the nameless Disney prince regarded him with pleasant interest, curiosity dancing in his bright round eyes before offering his hand first with a charming smile, “Na Jaemin, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Lee Donghyuck,” he returned, hesitating to reach out until it was Jaemin himself who grasped his hand and gave it a firm shake.

Donghyuck blinked once, then twice before looking up from their hands with knitted eyebrows and promptly bristled when the former now graced him with a shark-like grin. Too many teeth and for a split second, he expected for Jaemin’s jaw to unhinge and swallow him whole.

“Lee Donghyuck, huh?” Jaemin mused and Donghyuck immediately tensed when his grin grew even wider, glancing briefly at you (unaware of the arising tension) then back at him with mischief-filled eyes. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

There was something sinister with the way he had said this and of course, Donghyuck wasn’t going to let Na Jaemin get the best of him. Whatever twisted game had started between them, he’s not going to make it easy for him. Donghyuck plays to win and the worst opponent one could have is a determined man who will do what it takes to come out on top.

“Funny,” Donghyuck chuckled, a low and dangerous sound as he looked straight into Jaemin’s eyes, challenging him. “‘cause I’ve heard nothing about you, but it’s so nice to meet you too.” and he could just tell that the latter didn’t like the subtle jab, not one bit, when catching the corner of Jaemin’s lip twitch.

It turned out, Na Jaemin was your neighbor back in your hometown before the big and permanent move. You had reconnected with him over the summer when your mother and his mother spoke briefly through Facebook’s esteemed messaging application. At least that explained your familiarity with the handsome pre-med student. Still, something about you and your friendship with Jaemin rubbed him the wrong way.

Was he jealous? Probably. He wasn’t the least bit pleased upon observing how comfortable Jaemin was with you and vice versa. Too comfortable. It’s been literal years, more than a decade almost since you’ve seen each other and it was like there was no distance between you at all.

And maybe it was the fact that Jaemin was acting like he knew you better than Donghyuck did that’s driving him up the wall.

Donghyuck decided that he didn’t like Na Jaemin at all.

“Don’t you guys think that Na Jaemin is a bit too perfect?” He found himself asking while he hung out with Renjun and YangYang in the living area of the apartment he shared with the two. The thought had been bugging him recently and he needed answers, or he would go insane if he didn’t.

“Like, ‘male lead from a K-drama perfect’, or ‘Asian parents’ pride and joy perfect’?” YangYang supplied, “‘cause I think it’s the second option—pre-med student and all… and the rest that comes with being that handsome.”

Donghyuck deadpanned, grimacing when he caught the glazed over look in YangYang’s eyes, “You are no help at all.”

The younger pouted, “you asked and I delivered.”

Renjun let out a huge sigh, already not liking where this was going as he pried his focus from his phone to gaze at the middle child of this college-aged household, hoping he at least looked a little interested. “No. Because I’m a normal human being who minds my own business.” He hissed. Renjun then softened a little when the younger’s frown deepened a fraction, “what makes you say that though?”

Donghyuck ignored his change in demeanor. Winter would get along with him. “He must have at least one flaw to him, right?”

There’s a saying that went something along the lines of ‘no one was born perfect’, and Na Jaemin should have at least one flaw that proved it—something Donghyuck could use against him as a last resort if needed. There was no way someone could ever come close to being perfect, but it was growing increasingly difficult to theorize or even snoop around when not a hair on Jaemin’s head was out of place.

Na Jaemin, unfortunately, was what they would call, perfect. In every sense of the world; at least that’s what the hallways would say and the hallways had always sung its praises when it came to the pre-med student. Na Jaemin was handsome as he was tall—ye old tall, dark and mysterious book archetype with a killer smile to boot—he was charming. He was kind. He was funny (it really pained him to say that). He was good with kids and… Donghyuck was seriously going to hurl if he had to list down the facts he was forced to hear on every single fucking day of the term.

Simply put, Na Jaemin had immediately taken a spot of being one of the heartthrobs in the university, and he was a transferee; he was literally fresh meat during the first few days of the term, but he quickly made a name for himself on campus within that short period of time, Now that he was associated with you? It wouldn't be long before rumors started circulating among the student body and Donghyuck was already dreading it.

Then again, he could see you saying ‘yes’ if Jaemin ever asked you out. Na Jaemin was literally what every parent would want from their kid. Jaemin was just like you, also in the nursing program with plans on furthering his education after earning his Bachelor’s. Would it be too late for Donghyuck to switch majors? He knew he could catch up with sheer determination and beat the guy at his own game, especially. Though he really hoped that if ever that day comes, you’d say no.

There’s a 50/50 chance of it happening. Jaemin could also pull out that charming smile he was quickly getting recognition for if you hesitated. Because behind that princely image, he was cunning and rumor has it that his smile was enough for anyone to bend to his will.

Though Donghyuck begged to differ—like he always did. In his eyes, Jaemin’s smile was dangerously sharp. Donghyuck had theorized that if one day he smashed his fist into those perfectly straight teeth of his, he’d end up being the one hurt instead; Donghyuck’s blood smeared against Jaemin’s lips as well as his teeth that remained intact, but he digressed long enough.

“What are you going to do, stalk him to find out if he does?”

That was a trick question. In fact, Renjun didn’t even need to ask. The possibilities of Donghyuck doing just that was astronomically high if it involved Jaemin; and Renjun knew it did because if he wasn’t at all related to this, Donghyuck wouldn’t be this worked up over something so silly.

Then again, the older always thought that Donghyuck had a severe case of the Y/N-itis anyways, which was possibly the one thing that prompted this whole ‘Na Jaemin’ debacle.

That, or Donghyuck just had a Y/N complex, which didn’t make it sound any better, really. It just had his suspicions growing even more as Renjun continued to quietly observe him.

Donghyuck scoffed, “no,” he lied like the liar he was. It didn’t help that he drew out the word with more emotion than necessary, so the fine arts major immediately struck that as total bullshit. Renjun just knew the younger was going to go on an excursion of his own, his plates and other requirements be damned.

And since Renjun was always right (scarily so), he was proven so just three days later.

The man convicted of such stalkerish behavior (read: Lee Donghyuck) came rushing into the apartment, slammed the door shut and pressed himself against it as if he was being chased down. He could only hope he wasn’t because he didn’t really want to explain why he was suspiciously dressed in an all-black ensemble.

Renjun didn’t even bother to greet him, too engrossed with his own thing as the perpetrator huffed from the lack of response and toed off his running shoes.

Donghyuck cleared his throat to get his attention anyway, unzipping his windbreaker, “other than his absurd Starbucks order and the disposition of a 70-year-old grandpa, Na Jaemin has no flaw, whatsoever. And get this, he’s also volunteering at the same hospital Y/N volunteers at!”

The oldest of their trio still refused to give him his full attention, but he made it clear that he was listening when letting out a heavy sigh. “There's so much to unpack from what you just said.”

YangYang’s attention span on the other hand—who was very attuned to whatever absurdity Donghyuck voiced—immediately hung onto each word as he threw his phone onto the space between him and Renjun, “I’m more interested in the whole grandpa Jaemin thing. Why don’t you think it’s a flaw? Is Y/N into that?”

“That’s not what he said.” Renjun denied at the same time Donghyuck shrugged with a: “probably.”

Renjun scowled at them both.

It’s such a dumb question. Like, the dumbest question his ears had to pick up, but Donghyuck found himself answering immediately because his dumb monkey brain, running on primal instincts, focused more on ‘Is Y/N into that?’ and the fact that YangYang, the sweet autumn child that he is, always indulged him during times like this without fail. Perhaps he was feeling a little bit delirious from all the energy he wasted shadowing Jaemin for the day.

“It’s Na Jaemin. He makes it look sexy to anyone.”

YangYang considered that for a moment before agreeing with a solemn nod, freshly dyed jet-black strands falling into his eyes, “true.”

Renjun raised his hand.

Donghyuck gestured for him to say what he would pray was sound advice, “yes?”

The older folded his hands neatly on top of his lap, presenting a capitalistic smile, the kind that would reassure people that he wasn’t thinking of anything that fell into the vein of aggravated assault. “I would like to no longer be a part of this discussion, respectfully.”

Donghyuck’s eye twitched.

That was not sound advice.

“Vetoed,” Donghyuck made a chopping motion with his hand as Renjun groaned, slumping against the sofa which prompted the former to continue with his findings. “What if they’re having secret little dates in the storage rooms there?”

“Is that a popular date spot for volunteering pre-med students?” If it weren’t for the serious tone in YangYang’s voice, Donghyuck would have thought he was joking. If you needed someone to observe just for the hell of it, his best bet was one (1) Liu YangYang. He suspected there were a few loose screws up there.

YangYang yelped when Renjun flicked his ear, “literally not the point here. Besides, they’d be going against code if they do.”

Donghyuck gasped, scandalized by the implication, “Renjunie! That’s my best friend you’re talking about!”

“What?! I’m just saying! They’re healthy and consenting adults—“ and Donghyuck promptly interjected that thought with a scream deep from within.

YangYang immediately cut in with a series of garbled noises of his own, “okay, but like, why is this such a big deal to you? If Y/N wants to make-out with the guy—God knows I would too—then let her? She’s an adult, Hyuckie.” He reminded him, “Well, unless you’re, like, in love with her or something, then I can see why you’d lose your mind. Imagine losing your best friend to a god.” YangYang laughed to himself, shaking his head at the ridiculous thought as he picked up his phone to continue whatever a chronically on the internet person does.

In hindsight, YangYang should have picked up on it sooner. Thinking about it, it would make sense considering there was always this weird, underlying tension between Donghyuck and Jaemin both would refuse to acknowledge every time it was pointed out, more so when you were somewhere in proximity. Everyone kind of knew, however, only choosing to ignore what was quite obvious to the ones who sought it out for the sake of not getting in between all that mess.

No one said anything about YangYang’s comment, which only made him suspicious as he glanced up from his phone to vaguely gesture why the hell it was so quiet all of a sudden, only to find Donghyuck had his jaw set, refusing to look at anything or anyone while Renjun in turn gave the former a pointed stare; eyes widened slightly and lips pressed into a thin line, hoping it would force the answer out of him.

YangYang’s lips parted once it dawned on him, “Hyuck…” he trailed off, hesitant when catching Donghyuck’s fists clench.

‘Hyuck’ squeezed his eyes shut because he knew he’d immediately break if he looked into YangYang’s wide and imploring eyes. YangYang’s eyes were like deep pools of Veritaserum for him.

Donghyuck gritted his teeth, “don’t.”

“Hyuck,” YangYang repeated, firmer this time and it scared Donghyuck just how serious he sounded. It’s the most serious he’s ever been. “are you, like, actually in love with Y/N?”

And he made the mistake of opening his eyes and looking into YangYang’s.

IV: Between Us

“Focus on the way that I look in this light. Focus, baby, focus, I can change your life.”

Maybe girls’ night wasn’t all that bad.

It took a lot of convincing from your girl friends to ditch studying and properly hang out with them for once (Winter did most of it, being your roommate and all). So now here you were, sitting on one of the bean bags in Ningning’s huge bedroom as the sophomore took it upon herself to groom your nails for you, saying something about how the black nail polish would look pretty.

As the girls chattered among themselves, you remained quiet. Only speaking when spoken to and adding your opinions when you deemed it appropriate as you took occasional gulps from your can of flavored beer.

“... and done!” Ningning sang as she applied the last of the clear coating. “Be careful.” She reminded you as she turned to Chaewon to do her nails this time.

“Right, enough about men!” Karina exclaimed, shuffling over to sit beside you and already sounding a little tipsy from the alcohol, “I wanna know all the juicy details about everyone’s lives now.” She said as if she hadn’t known most of you throughout your entire college career so far.

As much as you didn’t mind Karina prying into your life as if she were a shark out for blood, you weren’t exactly in the mood to be hot-seated. So you purposely avoided catching her searching gaze as she eyed each girl one by one, most of them not even batting an eyelash and you thought you were doing a pretty good job at being inconspicuous.

That is, until her sharp gaze landed on you.

“Are you a virgin, Y/N?” At that, you had all the girls’ unwavering attention.

With a sigh, you sagged against the bean bag chair, “starting with the invasive questions, I see.” you mused, chuckling when Karina rolled her eyes, “what brought this on?”

“Curiosity.” She shrugged, “also, I feel like you’d be a wildcard. You are best friends with Haechan after all, but that’s just me.”

You laughed at her reason. Maybe your best friend did rub off on you, so you indulged her, “well, while I do believe that virginity is a social construct to pressure people into having sex—“ you felt like a hypocrite saying your piece when that’s kind of what happened to you, so you scratched that off, “no, I’m not a virgin.”

All the girls gasped, Karina the loudest as she scooted closer to you, absolutely buzzing with elation at the tid-bit, “no shit. Girl, who was it? How was it?” She pressed on.

“Calm down, Karina.” You said, taking a generous gulp of your beer. “Why is it such a big deal that I’ve had sex before?”

Chaewon snorted, “are you not aware of your reputation? When was the last time the L/N Y/N walked the halls with a boy that wasn’t Haechan?”

“Or the rest of the cute guys you hang out with whenever you aren’t hanging out with us?” Supplied Ningning with an arched eyebrow.

You took a second to reconsider the questions, knowing they had a point, “right, those are valid points, but you shouldn’t really expect that much.”

“God, you saying that is making me anxious.” Despite saying so, Yunjin was bouncing on Ningning’s bed, visibly thrilled with an almost manic grin splitting her face.

“So? Who’s the lucky person to deflower you?” Winter asked from beside you.

“Never say that again,” You grimaced, not expecting that from your roommate, but with a quieter tone, you answered: “Hyuckie did,” avoiding everyone’s eyes as your face exploded into warmth when they had let out shrill screams in delight at the juicy information coming from cold and aloof L/N Y/N.

Yeah, remember when you said you shared your firsts with your best friend? And the fact that you stopped yourself from sounding like a huge hypocrite before answering whether you’ve fucked around or not? Turns out, you may or may not have implied that sex was included in that mental list of ‘Donghyuck and Y/N’s firsts’; not that it was common knowledge since you both hadn’t brought it up since that night, nor did you deem it important enough to be discussed. It was only your and Donghyuck’s business.

It had been brought up as an ‘educated proposal,’ approached it as one too and Donghyuck even provided you with a powerpoint presentation to let you know that he wasn’t just pulling the idea out of his ass to get a rise out of you.

That was the day where you thought he finally lost the last of his brain cells from whatever pushed him to seek you out for this as you tried to smother him with your chubby Pikachu plushie with care for his laptop that sat precariously on your bed.

(“The least we could do is get our inexperience out of the way before leaving,” Donghyuck said, sounding breathless from you trying to suffocate him. He started yelling again when you held the plushie above your head to attempt homicide for the second time that afternoon.

You let the soft thing fall into your lap with a huff once you’ve taken pity on him, “what would you even gain from this anyway?”

“We won't be virgin losers when we officially become college students.” He answered as if it was already obvious.

“This is the dumbest conversation I’ve had with you. No, don’t look at me like that.” Donghyuck huffed, but lessened the effect of his pout anyway as your lips twisted into a scowl. “I could care less about the whole concept of virginity, but why me? You have plenty of people to choose from.”

Donghyuck shrugged, “I dunno, I feel like you wouldn’t judge my physique and would give actual constructive criticism if I do whip my dick out.”

You tried to smother him to death again, “I’ll think about it.” you said over his muffled screeching).

And as much as you often claimed to be the most level-headed of your duo, you were awfully easy to influence when goaded just right. To have Donghyuck goad you into doing something stupid, however, was a definite recipe for disaster. With Donghyuck’s drive to prove himself paired with your need to restlessly research so things could run as smoothly as possible, it was more than likely to be.

Only this time, the plan didn’t exactly blow up in your faces.

So unlike the usual Donghyuck and his impish approach to getting what he wants, he was surprisingly courteous—as one could be in a situation like this—when he ‘sweet-talked’ you into reconsidering the proposition.

In lieu of him actually bothering you with the constant question of “will you have sex with me?”, he posed it by reminding you of a pre-graduation party (for seniors only) set to happen a week before graduation. You had a high probability of attending the party anyway and if you somehow ended up outright rejecting Donghyuck’s plan, there at least was something else to look forward to. Parties weren’t usually your scene, but you were one to indulge every once in a while and hey, free booze. You couldn’t say no to that.

Then the night of the pre-graduation party arrived.

The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind at all that day, being preoccupied with a multitude of things, but as you watched Donghyuck lounging on his bed with his phone in hand through the mirror, waiting for you to finish primping up for the long night ahead, you took the chance to get it over with.

It was ridiculously easy to get him in the mood too. All you had to do was look at him (“whatever you’re about to blame me for, I didn’t do it.”) and settle on his lap with your eyes widened innocently as you worried your bottom lip in between your teeth (“you look a little too proud sitting on me. Wanna tell me something?”)

And there you were, laid out on Donghyuck’s bed with him right in between your thighs; his hips flushed against yours and stretching you open. At one point, you had to smack a hand over your mouth to muffle the noises Donghyuck was pulling out of you from his movements; and you pretty much forgot you were supposed to be elsewhere.

This whole thing was absolutely fucking insane. If someone had told you that you’d end up fucking Donghyuck in his childhood bed, you would have laughed in their face and called them crazy. But it seemed that it was you to be laughed at when you found yourself in that exact scenario, especially when it was you who initiated all of this.

One particular thrust drew out a rather loud sound from you that Donghyuck had to place a hand on top of yours, as if it would help in stifling it even further.

(It didn’t, but at least he tried).

“Good?” He crooned and you felt like you were being burnt by hellfire from the humiliation.

He didn’t even try to smother how pleased he was from the reaction, his grin growing sleazier by the second while cocking head and withdrawing your joined hands from your mouth. “If only Haeun and Jia weren't home,” sighing, Donghyuck feigned disappointment before leaning in close to your ear, plump lips brushing against the heated skin. “I would’ve had you screaming right about now.”

“Says the virgin who squealed when I took my panties off.” He pulled back just in time to see you scowling up at him with labored breaths, “should have known you’d still be an asshole even when you're balls deep.”

Donghyuck only laughed at the biting remark, not really taking your cattiness seriously. How could he when you look like that underneath him?

In an act of defiance, you squeezed around him, causing him to hiss as his grip around your waist tightened.

Donghyuck clicked his tongue at that, digging his nails into your skin as a warning and for you to stop, earning a sharp gasp, “ah-ah, I don’t think you’re in the position to be so difficult, Y/N.”

Normally, you would have bristled at the patronizing tone he took, yet being at your best friend's mercy sent a buzzing sensation through you. It was good. It was indescribable right now as it was a foreign feeling—something entirely new to make some sense from it, but all you knew was that you felt really really good. It felt safe being under Donghyuck. It felt safe being at his control that it left you wondering if it was because it was your best friend who you’re laying yourself bare for.

He brushed away the stray hairs from your face, smiling gently when you unconsciously leaned into his touch, “just take what I give you, yeah? Let me do all the work. I’ve got you.”

“You better make it good for me.” Is what you replied with instead of an actual answer, “asshole.”

Ah yes, the eloquence of L/N Y/N, “heard you the first time, sweetheart.” Then he hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, peering down at you expectantly, “well? Gonna keep yourself quiet? Or should I do it myself?” He smirked, using his index and middle finger to prod at your bottom lip to hint at what he could do if you don’t get a move on.

You took that as a challenge. Of course you did, and so, with as much strength you could muster, you swatted his hand away from your face and reached down between your both until your fingers brushed against the hem of the shirt Donghyuck had lent to you for the night. Rucking it up, it bunched up in your hold while the rest of your body was revealed for your best friend’s eyes the higher you went.

Once you made yourself comfortable again, you stuffed the bunched up material into your mouth as a makeshift gag, “how’s that?” It came out muffled, but Donghyuck understood you just fine as he took the time to take in what was laid before him, his thumb rubbing slow circles along your hip bone.

“Perfect.”

The girls were in awe after you told them your experience. Ningning had long finished painting Chaewon’s nails and opted to listen while Yunjin had slid off of the bed to complete the circle by sitting with you on the floor, positively enraptured by the story-time.

“Your life is literally straight out of a book, Y/N.” Ningning said with what you could tell was respect, eyes sparkling and looking at you as if you held the answers to the secrets of the universe, “and I’m definitely a fan of whatever it is you got going on with Haechan.”

You blinked, arching an eyebrow at the odd phrasing of a compliment, “you’re… a fan of our friendship?”

“Oh bless her heart, she’s absolutely clueless.” Yunjin cooed, reaching over to pinch your cheek.

Winter patted your back, taking a swig of her Smirnoff, “you’re a smart girl, Y/N. You’ll figure it out soon.”

“Clearly not smart enough if I have no idea what you meant by that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Winter reassured you before you can even theorize what she and the rest of the girls were hinting at, “was it good at least?”

“I… can’t really compare it to anything else, to be honest.” You confessed queitly, gently swiping the pad of your thumb along the smooth surface of your freshly painted nail, “I have’t had any sex after that. Really didn’t have the energy to look for some… relief.” and just after you disclosed your lack of action in the sexual sense, it became unbearably silent. It’s not like you were against it either. You just really didn’t have the time to look for a casual hook-up, nor a quick fuck when you were swamped with school work and God forbid you’d ask Donghyuck for help in that area. “But yeah, it was. For my first time, actually.”

Once was enough and it was a relief that things were still relatively normal even after your best friend had seen you in such a vulnerable state, as you did him. You trusted him, and he trusted you and not a word was said about that night. Yet the subtle changes to your dynamic frequently reminded you of what had transpired that humid night; the lingering touches… oh they lingered all right and Donghyuck was already a skinship connoisseur to begin with. Everyone and their mothers knew that he gave love as much as he received it.

And yet…

Well, let’s just say there was a significant difference. Not in a bad sense! Heaven knew you’ve always found comfort in your best friend’s care, so the change wasn't as detrimental to your state of mind. But it was, in a way, that the warmth radiating from Donghyuck’s touch was distinct from what you were used to after that fateful night. It’s like his touch left sparks that briefly seared the surface of your skin, fizzling out once the pads of his fingers withdrew and leaving you to ponder what that could have entailed.

Your curiosity almost pushed you into asking him if he felt that same when you would so much as brush his cheek to remove a stray eyelash, or lean your head onto his shoulder to ground yourself when things became a little too overwhelming to handle. You always wondered if his heart thudded faster than normal like yours did. In the end, you kept your findings to yourself, thinking you were crazy for giving meaning to something that probably didn’t even warrant a conversation.

That was barely scratching the surface of everything you had observed over the years since it happened, but that was the one thing that stuck to the forefront of your brain and maybe you were kind of itching to just find out just why it felt so different this time around.

Winter eyed you for a moment, much like how she would Donghyuck if he ever so much breathed wrongly in her direction. It was unnerving almost when her sharp eyes bore into your fearful ones. It’s like she was searching for something that wasn’t there; you had half the mind to ask if there was something on your face, but decided not to in slight fear of receiving the same treatment your best friend had been getting as soon as they were both introduced to each other.

Your roommate let out her most heaviest sigh of the night, leaning her weight against her bean bag as she downed her bottle to the very last drop, before regarding you with pitying eyes, “godspeed, Y/N.”

“Amen,” said the rest of the girls in solemn unification as they all downed their respective drinks, confusing you even further.

Girls’ night was something else.

Donghyuck had no idea whether to laugh or be offended at the scandalized look on YangYang’s face.

“You’re telling me you ditched me and Renjun that night so that you and Y/N could fuck like rabbits?”

And it was clear to him that YangYang looked genuinely hurt by finding this out so late.

“Why do you talk like that?” Donghyuck said, exasperated. “and we didn’t fuck like rabbits!”

But YangYang went on as if he hadn’t heard him, “like, I didn’t even know that was an option!” (“what the fuck do you mean by that.”) “I thought it was an unspoken rule that we weren’t allowed to be romantically involved with Y/N?”

Renjun sighed, cutting in, “no, we weren’t. Hyuck is an exception since he already staked his claim over her years ago.” Donghyuck hated the way the older was looking at him; like he had already known this way before he did. It’s one of the many things that infuriated the architecture major, but he never voiced it out because 1.) Renjun will call him stupid 2.) Renjun will ruin his life and Donghyuck knew he was capable of doing so, and then call him stupid for emphasis because he let him turn his life to shit.

“Wait,” Donghyuck stiffened to the point he might as well be frozen by an ice-type move as he stiffly craned his neck to look at the youngest with wide eyes, “are you saying you had a crush on Y/N before?”

YangYang shrugged, looking off to the side with his cheeks alight with a rosy hue, “she kicked my ass easily every time I challenged her to a Pokémon battle and I found that incredibly sexy.” he confessed, pressing the tips of his index fingers together in small repeating movements as he pursed his lips. “I really liked how she made me feel stupid when she explained the nuances of competitive Pokémon battling.”

Renjun pinched the bridge of his nose, top lip curling in disgust, “I feel insane every time I talk to you.”

His judgment was immediately pushed to the side, however, as Donghyuck was more interested in YangYang’s prompted confession, “how come you didn’t make your move then?” Donghyuck found himself asking even if the thought irked him a little.

The youngest stared at him as if he was the stupidest person alive. With what the current conversation was about, he might be. “You’re seriously asking me that?” Now it was YangYang’s turn to be incredulous. “I couldn’t even if I tried ‘cause her guard dog, aka you, would make it difficult for me to even try and get her alone.”

“I wouldn’t!” A lie. “I would have been supportive!” Another lie. He’d be absolutely devastated, now that the cat’s out of the bag. He could try though, but he can’t assure YangYang that it would be an easy road towards acceptance if that was the case now. Everyone in the room knew that Donghyuck was capable of recreating what Hell could be like for his selected target, just to see if they were capable of surviving with him around.

If they can’t, then that’s a ‘them’ problem. Donghyuck and Y/N came as a package deal.

“Hyuck, I think it’s pretty clear that you would kill yourself first before you even get to see your best friend with someone that isn’t you.” Renjun patted his shoulder with more force than necessary. “You’ve always looked at her as if she was the reason why you’re even breathing. You chose to go to the same university as her even if you had better offers.”

“I—okay, yeah, fine,” Donghyuck conceded once Renjun brought that up, slumping heavily onto the couch, “maybe she is the love of my life, or whatever. The Lunatone to my Solrock. She loved it whenever I said that—still does, probably.” He rambled, pouting.

Renjun gagged at the poor rendition of the kicked-puppy aesthetic.

YangYang giggled, “the Lunatone to your Solrock, alright. Jesus, that’s so fucking cheesy,” he teased, though he looked like he was about to cry. The youngest always did view the two as the Sun and Moon, always following each other, always within each other’s orbit without even realizing, so maybe that analogy was a little too perfect and he’s always been a sucker for true love.

Donghyuck supposed he should rewind to the night he got his dick wet for the very first time in his eighteen years of being alive on this planet.

In retrospect, he was relieved when he’d been able to keep himself upright post-orgasm, or it would have been downright mortifying if he had fallen on top of you and he didn’t exactly think that would be proper post-sex etiquette for your first time. Donghyuck wasn’t ignorant to the fact that it was mostly him who wanted this, stringing you along when he knew damn well that anyone would be willing to be the warm body he’d settle with for the night.

But with how Donghyuck’s mind worked, he didn’t want to experience something so intimate with just anyone. He needed someone who he could trust, someone who would take him as he was, as Lee Donghyuck and not what his reputation preceded him at school, and someone who he would be willing to lay himself bare for—figuratively and literally—and it was a no-brainer that you, his sweet Y/N, his best friend for over a decade had fit the bill to a T.

He trusted you with his life, just as he knew that you trusted him with yours and the least he could do was make this a pleasant experience for you. The amount of research he did leading up to this night was proof that he really wanted to make sure you’d feel good from start to finish; it’s the least Donghyuck could do for you once you had agreed to do… this with him.

He was so overcome with emotion that what he did next didn’t really register in his mind at first.

Donghyuck took his sweet time to simply watch you recover from unraveling underneath him. At one point, the makeshift gag hadn’t exactly been doing it’s intended job of keeping your noises down, so your hand had once again migrated to cover your mouth as you breathed deeply through your nose.

And as an act of impulse, Donghyuck leaned in to press his lips against the back of your hand.

If it wasn’t for it acting as a barrier, that would have been the very first kiss you both had with each other as for some reason, it had been an unspoken rule to not kiss—as if it would have made everything less intimate when he was literally deep in your guts moments prior. It was only to his relief that you were so out of it to even realize what he had done, so his panic didn’t last too long as he stood up, discarded the condom, pulled up his boxers to rush and fetch a warm towel to clean you up.

Eighteen year-old you blinked sleepily at him, “why are you looking at me like that?”

Donghyuck hadn’t even realized his gaze had been fixed onto you for quite some time now that he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. But that’s the thing wasn’t it? Being the one who initiated this whole thing, he was still a man with a healthy attraction to women alike and he couldn’t help but to simply admire the way you were spread over his sheets like this.

You lulled him fully back to reality when you softly called out his name again (he tried not to think about how he almost lost it when you had moaned it prior to this) and Donghyuck had managed to grace you with a small, coy grin once he finished with the towel, handing over your discarded underwear.

“Just never thought you had it in you.” Donghyuck mused, watching you pull your panties up your calves… thighs until they settled snugly around your hips. The color of them complimented your skin tone nicely, he thought, reaching over to tug your—actually his—shirt down and that made everything perfect, “makes me proud.”

You laughed softly, propping your knees up just for him to lean against them, “I didn’t really do much. I just laid there.” And held onto him for dear life, but he was still proud, nonetheless. It was a shame you had to stay quiet for most of it. It would have been nice to hear you fall apart completely and he doesn’t let himself think too much about how this is probably the very first and the very last time you’ll ever let him have you at his mercy.

“Then you looked really pretty laying there, taking everything I gave you,” he cooed, placing a gentle peck on your knee before resting his cheek on it, heavy-lidded eyes regarding you with interest before he yelped when you flicked his lower lip. “Hey!”

Withdrawing your hand back, you snickered to yourself, “and you like a little bit of pain too. Can’t say I’m surprised, really. You always struck me as a masochist.”

“Wah… how crude, Y/N! What would auntie and uncle say if they find out you talk like this?” He playfully chastised, landing a light smack on your upper thigh which earned him a surprised noise.

You pinched him in retaliation, “the worst they could do is sit me down and lecture me on proper manners,” you relaxed against the sheets again as Donghyuck used your legs as some fleshy cushion once he wound his arms around them, cheek still pressed on top of your knees. “I’m not sure about you though. After all, you did fuck their only daughter. You’d be lucky if Dad keeps you alive after that.”

Well, that’s one fear he didn’t want to experience as long as he lived.

“Jesus, don’t even joke about that. I already got an earful from when we snuck out that one time to get drunk at a party.” Both of you winced. Donghyuck swore he would never drink Tequila in its truest form ever again. “and I know Uncle will actually skin me alive if he ever finds out I stuffed you full of my cock.”

It was no surprise to him when he fell into a heap on the floor from pushing him off, your cheeks scalding hot to the touch from just how shameless he could be. Donghyuck ate the display up, though, ignoring the pain and grinning with too many teeth showing as he giggled to himself.

“You’re horrible. A menace,” you croaked as you raised both of your hands to shield your flustered state. It does nothing to quell Donghyuck’s apparent amusement though, finding it adorable that you even had room to be so when it was the truth; he had the lone, front row seat to see all of that happen. “This wasn’t the kind of pillow talk I was expecting.”

Donghyuck gasped in a dramatic fashion, hand placed on his heart and all, “have you even met me?”

“It’s one of the many regrets I have.” You said in a gravely tone, yet the fond smile you gave him was enough to say that you meant the complete opposite. It doesn’t stop Donghyuck from keeping up the act, however, crying out in outrage to which you promptly shushed, reminding him that his sisters were just rooms away. “I could have ended the friendship, but I guess I sealed it forever when I let you fuck me within an inch of my life.”

This time, Donghyuck did nothing to contain the loud cackles that escaped him, finding your rare bouts of crassness absolutely hilarious, “see, this is why we’re best friends. You’re just as stupid as I am deep down.”

You looked as if you were debating whether to choke-slam him to the ground or not despite appearing tired, so he braced himself for impact, only to blink when your fingers tenderly brushed against his chin, “yes, I’ve been told I’ve spent too much time with you too.”

It was a fact that most people knew; simply the truth as you did spend almost all of your waking hours with him until the sun bid farewell for the night. It’s just how the way things have been since the beginning, yet the look in your eyes told him something different. He couldn’t decipher what it was exactly, just that your eyes were soft around the edges—softer than they usually were as your fingertips absentmindedly danced across the warm skin, following the pattern made by the moles on his cheek.

Watching you peer at him with tender eyes—be it as the product of simply being tired—treating him as if he was the most precious thing in your possession, this was probably where Donghyuck should have let the realization sink in, should have realized that he’d do anything to keep that gaze lingering on his person for as long as he could.

But his mind was too preoccupied with soaking up the rare moment of you showering him with unbridled affection as a sponge would, keeping him complacent until the passage of time gradually wrung it out of him—until the next time he’d be able to have you all soft and pliant in his arms, just for him to suck all of it up again. Rinse and repeat.

Thinking back to that night, it should have hit him sooner that the train of thought hinted to something beyond the line of what was considered as platonic. Donghyuck hadn’t understood just why there was this underlying buzz of uncertainty once he took a short time discerning this hollowness in his chest at the thought of this intimate moment being the very last he’d ever experience with you. He never had any queries with what exactly your friendship entailed. Whatever you had was good, why would he need to question it?

It had always been Donghyuck and Y/N; Y/N and Donghyuck. It would be super weird if one was without the other and maybe he did vie for your presence over anyone else’s. Maybe he did like monopolizing your time regardless of the fact that you already spent most of it with him anyway. It was greedy of him, he knew just as much, but he didn’t really feel guilty as one should be, not when you’ve always been his anyway—

He quickly brushed away his heart and mind’s implications. Instead, he moved to settle underneath the warm covers next to you, just to keep that peace of mind for as long as possible, or until sleep ultimately took over his consciousness in hopes of forgetting that looming sense of doubt. And having you cuddled up in his arms was enough for then eighteen year-old Donghyuck’s mind to stop running its tumultuous course once he breathed in the comforting scent of your shampoo.

“Hyuck?”

Donghyuck hummed, prompting you to continue when his nose nudged at your hairline.

“Congratulations,” you began with a quiet chuckle, “we aren’t virgins anymore.”

Letting out a breathless laugh, Donghyuck tightened his embrace, “thank you.”

Then he closed his eyes, letting the warm puffs of air ghosting against his neck lull him into a dreamless sleep.

It’s the morning after when Donghyuck had been overwhelmed with thoughts from the previous night.

He was the first to awaken; the sunlight seeping through the blinds being the culprit of arousing him from the best sleep he’s ever had so far and amidst the annoyance starting to brew within him, he chanced to open his eyes, finding himself face-to-face with you still deep into your dreams.

Beautiful.

He had always thought you were beautiful, even if there was drool poking at the corner of your lips.

From childhood and up until present, Donghyuck was a firm believer that no one else could ever compare to you. He could have thought of any other adjective that would be best to describe your entire existence to anyone who asked, but to him, ‘beautiful’ had always been your assigned descriptor, right from the moment you told him your name. Beauty has always been interwoven in your entire being and it just made so much sense to him, simple as that.

Donghyuck thought you were even more so with your guard down, leaving the entirety of you bare for him to touch, to admire, to worship when no one—unless with your explicit consent—else was allowed to. It was a beautiful sight that left him breathless, using that short window of lucidity to sear the image into the seams of his brain before completely losing himself in the heady haze of pleasure. He had never felt this way about you in all of the ten years he had known you and it’s scary to think that he had never, until now, wanted to kiss you this bad either.

Up until now, you were his best friend. That was all you were to him over the years he had grown with you. You were a constant, you were something familiar to him that he had no reason to think too deeply on the matter; but seeing you smile at him amidst the sleepiness clouding your features tugged at his heartstrings, even more so when he took in the sight of you mingling with his family as you helped with making breakfast for everyone, still wearing his shirt from the night before and a pair of gym shorts you’ve plucked out from his wardrobe.

The way you had easily pulled out smiles and laughter from everyone—it’s like you’ve seamlessly weaved yourself into the tiny recesses of his family’s hearts, like having you in this setting was a common occurrence in the early mornings of the weekends with the family. It took a lot of his self-control to ignore Haeun’s knowing smirk. He won’t take the bait. He won’t let himself take it, knowing she—and Jia too probably—won’t live it down.

Because that morning, watching you sit down next to him at the dining table, hooking your foot around his ankle as you slid him a large cup of hot chocolate you wanted to share, was the very morning he, Lee Donghyuck, had finally come to the realization that he was in love with you.

YangYang stared at him, judging, “was that why you were late to get to my place?”

“Trust me, I would have left earlier if I could but,” just then, the image of you splayed across his bed watching him change for his weekly weekend hangouts with the boys. “I got distracted.”

Watching you getting comfortable on his bed, letting out little noises as you stretched the entire length of your body, was the epitome of temptation in and of itself. It felt like a test of self-control from God himself. Maybe even Satan knowing the big man up there was at least merciful enough to not let him suffer by your rendition of a cat arching its back.

“Okay, ew. Stop smiling like that, creep.” YangYang grimaced, “we get it. Y/N was the distraction.”

Donghyuck tongued at his cheek, letting out a long-suffering sigh, “you have no idea.”

Renjun made a retching noise, “please. Do not elaborate on that. We get it. Question is, what are you going to do now?”

“Yeah, don’t you think you’ve waited long enough?” YangYang frowned, “like, if I were you, I would have gone insane.”

“I’m gonna make a few calls.” With that, Donghyuck fished out his phone from his pocket, receiving matching looks of utter bewilderment from his roommates. “What?”

Renjun arched an eyebrow, “what does ‘a few phone calls’ have to do with Y/N?”

“You’ll see.” Donghyuck said with a grin.

V: Maze

“You like your peace; but you love a little chaos.”

summerboy ☀️

hey

— 3:45 PM

You

just what is it with you going MIA out of nowhere?

it’s been a week since I’ve last heard from you Lee Donghyuck

where have you been?

— 3:45 PM

summerboy ☀️

NOT THE GOVERNMENT NAME??

also that sounds like u missed me

did u? 👀

did you miss me that much 🥺

— 3:46 PM

You

worried more like

it’s weird not having you free load off of me and Winter

— 3:46 PM

summerboy ☀️

that’s a weird way of saying you missed me ☹️

— 3:47 PM

You

😐

what do you want

— 3:47 PM

summerboy ☀️

mark’s inviting us to a party

u comin?

— 3:48 PM

You

can’t 😣 jaem and i have a big quiz coming up soon

studying right now at his place

say hi to mark for me though!

— 3:48 PM

summerboy ☀️

there was no need to bring up j*emin 🤢

but sure i’ll say hi to mork

— 3:48 PM

You

green really doesn’t suit you lol

— 3:49 PM

summerboy ☀️

can we stop talking abt my mortal enemy now

i feel physically unwell 🤕

— 3:49 PM

You

alright drama queen

I still don’t get this one-sided beef but that’s not my problem

is that all?

— 3:49 PM

summerboy ☀️

yeah ig

i’ll see u tmrw if im not hungover?

— 3:50 PM

You

yeah

promise you won’t drink too much?

— 3:50 PM

summerboy ☀️

my liver is made of steel baby 💪🏼

but i promise 💖

— 3:50 PM

That was hours ago and Donghyuck honest to God felt like his soul is trying to rip itself from his body as he sat against the bathtub, an almost empty bottle of Tequila (“so much for not drinking it ever again.”) gripped loosely in his hand and willing for the room to stop spinning.

Donghyuck prided himself as a man who would always fulfill his promises. Sure he could be unbearable sometimes (on purpose, yes), but he was a man of principles, so the chances of him standing by what he said until reaching the end of the bargain was a whopping 99.9%.

The other 0.1% chance apparently could land him in ingesting more alcohol than what the average human should.

He really tried to stay away from drinking his entire body weight, taking his promise to you into account as if it was his lifeline. But somewhere along the way, he ended up mingling with his friends—most of them being his seniors—which led to him being coerced into throwing back one too many shots to mix with whatever dubious mixture it was swirling in his solo cup. He lost track of time too, that was already obvious considering he had no idea where the bottle even came from or how he even ended up camping in this bathroom.

It was nice though, having a little bit of solitude to himself amidst the earth-shattering bass echoing from the speakers downstairs that kept the crowd entertained. As social as Donghyuck was, he too needed some time away from his peers and knowing how absolutely smashed he was, he wouldn't be surprised if he winds up sleeping on the tiled floors for the rest of the night.

And he might as well be deep into his dreams right because somehow, you were there, and you looked really really angry.

Of course his own Y/N infested brain would betray him, conjuring a scarily accurate hallucination of you.

“I’m not a hallucination, Hyuck.”

Did he say that out loud? How did you even find him?

“Yeah,” you answered, “that brain-to-mouth filter of yours is non-existent when you're wasted. And Soobin called me—said that you were not letting anyone in here. People have the right to pee, you know?”

Donghyuck giggled, eyes glassy. He could care less of the people on the verge of pissing their pants waiting. He called dibs on this bathroom. “You’re so funny, Y/N and I’m so very sleepy,” he cut himself off with a long drawn out yawn, blinking sleepily at you. “I think I’m gonna sleep here.”

And a very drunk Donghyuck found it easy to doze off too, so it was no surprise when he felt the clutches of sleep pull him in deep in no less than five seconds the moment he closed his eyes. But that sensation quickly disappeared when a series of soft pats to his cheek jolted him awake.

“Keep your eyes open, will you? You’re heavier to drag around unconscious.”

“Mm, I’ll try for you, Y/N.” He answered and he’s pretty sure that came out as incoherent slurs of syllables judging by the face you pulled, but it seemed you understood anyway when you heaved out a sigh, standing to your full height as you fished out your phone.

“Who’re you callin’?” Donghyuck heard himself ask when he caught your thumb flit along the expanse of your screen.

“Help.” You answered, lifting your phone up to your ear, “you’d think I’d come to a party alone?”

It’s on the third ring did your call get picked up, “Jaem? Yeah I found him.”

In spite of his drunken haze, Donghyuck had some sort of tight clutch on the edge sobriety that he instantly stiffened at the mention of your other best friend. Calling Jeno—Jaemin’s friend who he favored more—would have been the better choice; at least his fellow blockmate wouldn’t have pissed him off with a smile. Then again, it was nearly impossible to hold a grudge against someone with the sweetest eye-smile he had ever seen.

“Trust me, I don’t like being here either, but it’s the least you could do for me since I have been helping you since the start of the term, Nana.” Of course you would address him with a cutesy nickname. Go figure. “Anyway, we’re in the bathroom upstairs. Second door to your right—no, shut up.”

Donghyuck doesn’t even try to stand up. He had lost the feeling in his legs long ago that he saw no point in trying to regain it back. So what if there were people out there waiting for their turn to use the toilet? This wasn’t the only bathroom in the house. He settled on peering up at you though, doing his very best to focus as you continued with your heated phone call with the bane of his existence.

You should be paying attention to him, Lee Donghyuck, your best friend since you were eight. Not some pretty boy with an equally pretty smile who lived just to spite him and get in the way every time the opportunity arises.

Donghyuck was the one with you, not Jaemin and he thought he was more deserving of your unwavering attention.

Especially when he was head over heels for you. Doesn’t he deserve some sort of compensation from all his pining?

“Jaem, I say this with as much respect as I have for you right now, but can you hurry up and get to us? I want to go home—shit!”

The sharp pain where both of your knees were subjected to caused you to cry out from the initial sting and surprise, earning him a look that was a mix of disbelief and disdain. Even in Donghyuck’s drunken stupor, there was still some room left for lucidity that he was still able to grab ahold and yank at the hem of your hoodie to have you settle in between his legs. It was only to your relief that your hand managed to catch on the bathtub’s edge to brace yourself, avoiding the impending disaster of crushing your best friend who didn’t seem to be aware of what he just did.

“What the hell was that? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You winced. Your knees were surely going to be bruised tomorrow and not in the sexy way. “It’s just Donghyuck’s really drunk—“

“‘m not drunk,” the drunk man in question slurred, arms coming up to wrap themselves around your waist as he pressed his flushed face into your tummy. “not drunk.” He mumbled again, which didn’t really help with the assurance when it was already so fucking obvious that even a blind man could tell Donghyuck’s inebriated state.

He heard you sigh, “can you just hurry, Jaem? You already know where we are. Bye.”

Donghyuck let out a confused sort of sound when you grabbed his face to gently pry him off from your stomach. He had long accepted that he might as well die of suffocation from how often he did that, but the thought of leaving you all on your own in the land of the living was the one thing that kept him from saying ‘hi’ to Death.

“You idiot. How many drinks did you have?”

“I’m fine!” He whined, “‘m perfectly sober.” He shook your hands off of his face, just so that he could rest his chin onto your stomach, right on the top of the waistband of your sweatpants to look up at you.

He didn’t even look close to being sober. His sleepy eyes looked significantly sleepier and the vivid blush on the high points of is cheeks were evidence of the absence of his sobriety.

“Okay, sure. How many fingers am I holding up?” You held up two fingers.

“Blue,” Donghyuck answered with as much confidence as a drunk man could have, “my turn, do you like me?”

“That’s not even close,” you said in awe despite it already being obvious that your best friend was really drunk out of his mind that he mixed his numbers with colors, “you’re drunk, Hyuck. Your answer said just as much.”

“Do you like me even when I’m drunk?” He pressed on, making his eyes impossibly rounder and shinier than they already were. Like a puppy’s.

“I’m liking you less now,” you said drily, which was obviously meant as a joke considering the number of times you had to deal with drunk Donghyuck, then you realized it was a mistake on its own because he started tearing up. Fuck, you forgot how weepy he could get under the influence. Paired with his lack of access to his brain’s inhibitors to recognize jokes, well… it won’t be long until he’s crying.

“W-what?” He said in a small voice, round eyes welling up with tears at an alarmingly fast rate as you fumbled around to think of something to say to placate his incoming weepines. “That’s so m-mean.”

Then he started crying, full on sobbing as fat tears rolled down his alcohol-flushed cheeks.

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered as he continued to blubber through his tears. Guess the crybaby in him never left. “Hyuckie, you’re a mess. You know I didn’t mean it.” You softened this time around, cradling his dampened cheeks to hopefully calm him down.

When Donghyuck gets like this, it’s usually because of something plaguing his mind. Whether it was academic related—which wasn’t as common—or something personal, or something bad enough to eat at him from the inside. Chances are, this was how he coped when he was overwhelmed by any of the possible factors.

For once, however, you couldn’t exactly figure out what could be the cause of his distress. Donghyuck always came to you when he needed to vent, yet as of lately, you haven’t found a reason to play ‘budget psychiatrist’ to aid him. There weren’t any telltale signs that alluded to the current burden he could be hauling around either and as far as you knew, Donghyuck and Jaemin had been standing on neutral ground. Both of their white flags raised as of recently, so the latter wasn’t a culprit to his lack of self-control when it came to alcohol.

All you could do for now was to hold him close and be the source of comfort he needed until he felt better enough to let you in on his dilemma.

Donghyuck sniffled, his hold tightening around you while leaning into your touch, “why don’t you like me?”

“I—“ You eyebrows knitted together, wiping the tear away with your thumb, “of course I like you.”

“But you don’t like me the way you like Na Jaemin, do you?” You didn’t know why, but the way he sounded so sad saying that made your heart ache. Is this what he got drunk for? Because he thought you were neglecting him? Thought you were replacing him? You could never. He was your constant and the last thing you would do was to leave him behind.

You arched an eyebrow, taking in his somber mood, “what are you talking about? I don’t even like Jaemin like that.”

His tears have stopped by now, so you’ve let go to brush his bangs back to reveal his smooth forehead, earning a pleased sigh as he pulled you closer. “That’s a relief,” he said softly, pressing his damp cheek against your tummy. “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you did. Cry? Yeah, I’d probably cry. Like what I just did. But I wasn’t supposed to cry though. I wanted to drink to get that liquid courage, but I think I had too much.” Donghyuck broke off his rambling in giggles, but you weren’t exactly returning his amusement due to your confusion. “Oh! And I’m so glad you’re here too! Makes my life so much easier.”

“Look,” you started, “I have no idea where you’re going with this, but I think we should leave, like, right now.”

“Why? I want to spend some time with you,” Donghyuck pouted, tilting his head, “can’t we just stay here?”

Sweet as that was, not really. You were in a bathroom for fuck’s sake. This is less than an ideal hang out spot and just as you were about to attempt pulling out more answers to whatever riddle Donghyuck was wringing your overworked mind with, the door flew open and in came a rather disgruntled Jaemin which in turn, made Donghyuck’s face twist into a scowl as he tipped up his chin defiance.

“Na.”

“Lee,” Jaemin doesn’t take it to heart though, considering he was more preoccupied on watching the scene before him in mild interest with an arched eyebrow. “Am I interrupting something?” He asked and you were this close to smacking him upside the head when he used that grating, aegyo-infused voice of his with an all-too-gleeful grin splitting his face. “Should I leave and come back?”

Okay, so maybe you understood why Donghyuck referred to Jaemin as a devil in disguise when he himself wasn’t exactly close to being compared to an angel. Pleasant as Na Jaemin was on most occasions, he sure had his moments of being an absolute pain in the ass.

You ignored the warmth creeping up your cheeks, Jaemin just laughing at the withering look you threw at him when he quickly shuffled over to give you a helping hand, “shut up and help me get him up.”

Donghyuck was too out of it to even protest when Jaemin threw one of his arms over his shoulders.

Surprisingly, the ride to Donghyuck’s apartment was tamer than expected, considering the still unexplained—to you—beef they had with one another. It wasn’t an unwelcomed phenomenon though; it was heaps better than sitting through the infamously petty nahyuck back and forth where it would usually end up with Jeno’s and Renjun’s combined strength to put a stop to the brewing storm. And you were glad that Jaemin had the mind to put his provocation on hold this time, though he still made it a point to send you and Donghyuck knowing smiles through the rear-view mirror whenever he could.

Both of you end up falling in an ungraceful heap onto Donghyuck’s bed after a little difficulty of forcing him up the stairs and through the door of his bedroom once you were sure he finished puking his insides out in the toilet.

“Oh,” it’s a breathy little sound he let out when you pulled away from him, “you came home with me.”

“I can’t let you choke and die from your own vomit in your sleep, now can I?” You huffed, unzipping his ridiculously expensive chelsea boots and leaving them to drop unceremoniously to the floor. “How the hell am I going to explain that to the family back home?”

Donghyuck couldn’t help but grin at that. He found it extremely endearing that you always lumped his and your family into one collective, like you had unknowingly referred to his parents as your in-laws. At least it won’t be too difficult to earn your parents’ approval. “It would be sick to put ‘choked on his vomit from partying too hard’ on my headstone though. Pun intended.”

“You’re an idiot.” You sighed, but you didn’t fight off the fond smile as your best friend laughed at his own joke, “seriously, you promised not to go overboard with the drinking tonight.”

“And I told you I have a liver of steel,” he said with a firm pat on his side, “besides, you’re studying to become a doctor. If my health declines, I can trust you to take care of me.”

You snorted, “like I have been for the past decade? Won’t you get tired of me?”

“I should be asking you that,” Donghyuck murmured, regarding you with tired eyes as his grin dimmed down into a tight-lipped smile. “You’re too good for me, Y/N, and God knows why you still put up with me.”

“Well,” you began, shuffling around so that you sat against the headboard beside him, “for one, you’re my best friend and someone has to put up with your annoying ass, and maybe God said you needed something good to balance that absolute evil in you.” You teased, grinning wryly at the unimpressed look he gave you, “is this why you got drunk? Thought I was getting tired of you?”

Just like earlier in the bathroom at the party, you meant it as a light-hearted joke, a little something to get a rise out of him for the sake of your own entertainment. Though it was clear that Donghyuck wasn’t exactly on the same page when his face immediately twisted into something unpleasant, shying away from your inquiring gaze with a pointed huff.

“Something like that,” he trailed off, which only furthered your confusion, seeing him this reserved even under the influence of the leftover alcohol in his system. Normally, he would have been off the rails, looser-lipped like he was before since a drunk Donghyuck was just Donghyuck dialed up to an eleven when he was in the mood to let loose. But this Donghyuck in front of you was the complete opposite, subdued; and it was a little concerning.

“Fuck, it would be better if I was 100% sober for this, but believe me when I say I’m sober enough to make sense.”

“Sorry to break it to you, but you haven’t been making any sense from the get-go.” You pointed out, pulling your knees up close to your chest. “But if it’s about me getting tired of you, you have nothing to worry about. You’re still my person, you’re still my best friend.”

“Ah, but that’s the problem. I don’t want to be your best friend—I don’t think I can be anymore.”

Well that wasn’t what you were expecting.

Had you done something to warrant Donghyuck’s apparent distress over your friendship? Because you couldn’t for the life of you recall doing anything that had pushed him into thinking of the worst and it scared you that whatever this is could potentially be the end of your friendship.

“I still don’t understand—did I do something?” and you whipped your head around at an alarming speed from the thought, only to find Donghyuck already regarding you with what you could tell was a rueful gaze. Taking a closer look, however, there was a peculiar emotion mixed within the hazy despondent pools of brown. There was longing, hope and something gentler to bind them together which only raised more questions.

From the years you’ve watched Donghyuck grow into the very man that laid with you on his twin-sized bed, you’ve slowly come to the realization that Donghyuck does this thing of masking his unease with a false display of confidence to mislead anyone who had the tendency to pry.

By no means was he not. Donghyuck was known for his unwavering confidence actually. He was someone who exudes it, he was someone who embodies it, but you knew him long enough that you could tell that the self-assuring grin he sported at times looked a bit too forced, that his penchant for adding a dramatic flair to his words and actions was something he did to keep anyone from exploiting the cracks in his facade.

And having him like this—his guard down and face painting a very clear image of what was running through his heart and mind had your own heart racing at the possible implication of his rare moments of vulnerability. You didn’t understand just why you were so worked up over something that hasn’t been voiced yet, but you were and the way his eyes watched your every move didn’t really help alleviate your anxiety.

With all of these running through your head, none of them came close to the next string of words Donghyuck said to break the suffocating silence.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He said. His voice low, measured, “so, so in love with you that being just your best friend won’t be enough for me, I think.”

Oh.

“Oh,” you voiced out dumbly, not knowing what to say, “that’s not just the alcohol talking, is it?”

Donghyuck snorted, “a drunk mind is a sober heart, Y/N,” he said, a light splash of fondness seeping into his voice. “and you know I wouldn’t lie to you either. I could never.”

That’s right, he would never and if he did, he would come clean to you sooner or later, not being able to stomach the guilt for too long; so there was no reason for you to doubt him. Not when you felt your cheeks flush to the point where it was hot to the touch the moment Donghyuck flashed you a self-assured grin.

“What? Is it really that unbelievable that I could fall for you?”

“Could fall—“ you groaned, holding your face in your hands as if that would dissipate the heat of embarrassment kissing your cheeks “—Christ, you can’t just say that!”

“I had to,” he shrugged, “‘else I would have gone crazy if I had to wait lord knows how long again.”

From the way he spoke, you really can’t wrap your head around the possible length of him feeling this way about you. Were you honestly so dense that you couldn't even tell? “Donghyuck I…” you swallowed thickly, face now free from your hands, but you still refused to look at him, “I really don’t know what to say to that.”

“The ever eloquent Y/N? That’s a first,” Donghyuck snickered as he raised a hand to poke at your thigh. “Usually you’d tell me to shut up and stop being stupid then lecture me for a total of 10 minutes or until I tell you to shut up, respectfully.”

“Your feelings aren’t stupid,” you countered, then shrunk in on yourself. “You can't help the way you feel and—I don’t know, obviously this is news to me and I didn’t expect… anything.”

“Well, you were always in your head. Smart as you are, I doubt you’ve picked up on any hints. Should we consider ‘oblivious’ as one of your charms?”

You let out a strangled noise as a response, deeming him right, yet it was also your way of denying his claims even if it was true.

Donghyuck chuckled, “you know, you don’t have to say anything. I’m not really expecting anything from you. I just wanted to tell you how I feel before I chicken out.”

“I—I think we should talk when you’re 100% sober.”

He mulled over that thought for a moment and it was amazing how you could follow along the process just by analyzing the emotions that crossed his face alone.

“Yeah,” he followed that up with a resigned sigh, “I think that’d be best. I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.”

“And that’s clearly your fault,” you scolded with a click of your tongue, “come on. Let’s wash you up first. Brush your teeth while we’re at it too.”

“Awe, see? Now you’re getting a headstart,” Donghyuck watched you hover over him to get off of his bed. “My own personal nurse,” he cooed, “or doctor if med-school is still on the plate.”

Your face was warmer than ever, “quiet, and it is,” you snipped light-heartedly, using all of the strength left in you to pull him onto his two feet again. “I just don’t want to sleep next to someone who reeks of alcohol and vomit.”

Donghyuck made a noncommittal sound as you dragged him by the wrist towards the bathroom, “you’re staying?”

“You don’t want me to?” You found yourself asking even if it was written in Donghyuck’s compliance that he felt the exact opposite, especially when he had made his feelings clear. Still, despite the evident form of reassurance, you still wanted his permission, to make sure you weren’t imposing.

“I didn’t say that…” he mumbled as he sat down on the lid of the toilet at your insistence. “Don’t you have a big quiz to review with Jaemin?” Nice at it was to be taken care of by you, he didn’t want to get in the way of your studies, even if it meant that you had to be around his nemesis.

“Hyuck, it’s Friday—well, Saturday now. I have more than enough time to study,” Donghyuck sleepily blinked at you when pushing his chin up with the soft pads of your fingers, “for now, I gotta make sure you don’t die in your sleep.”

And things were left at that. Donghyuck sat in pliant silence as you swiped the smudged makeup off of his face with a wet-wipe before you forced him to brush his teeth (“awe. I thought you were gonna do it for me.” he pouted. “Shut up or I’ll choke you with your toothbrush. In a non-sexy way.”) You left him to his own devices right after you gave him a new change of clothes; a more comfortable ensemble as you waited underneath the thick covers.

By the time Donghyuck came stumbling into his bedroom, he looked less disheveled, now that the smudged makeup was clear from his face to reveal the smooth tan skin. His gait was a dead giveaway that he still wasn’t all that lucid, dragging his feet towards the bed and it’s a relief that he hadn’t collapsed halfway.

“Will you remember this tomorrow?” You blurted out after a moment of silence once Donghyuck had settled underneath the covers with you, “because it would be embarrassing if I brought it up and you didn't.”

Donghyuck squinted one open eye at you, “I don’t think I can forget anything as embarrassing as this—confessing to the love of my life drunk? Tipsy? Barely hanging onto sobriety?”

“You don’t sound embarrassed though,” you mused, though it was evident that you were flustered yourself from his bold claim, bashfulness seeping into your very being as you fidgeted slightly underneath Donghyuck’s attention.

“Oh, I am, but it's different with you. You've known me most of my life. You’ve seen me at my best, at my worst and rejecting me is the least of your worries.” He said all of this with a faint smile, yet you could tell he was a little down at your lack of a concrete answer.

“Okay,” you say quietly, “I’ll hold you onto that.”

It seemed that silence had been filling in the spaces for you both lately, which wasn’t that unusual as you can’t really expect Donghyuck to run his gaping mouth every second. But it has been a thing as of late and it was a little disconcerting. Just a little.

“Hyuck?” You whispered.

“Hm?”

“I—nothing.” You shook your head, reaching out to brush away the hair from his face. It’s getting longer, you noted and it’s a little worrisome how the first thought that came into mind was that he looked good with the newfound length. Too good. Still, your fingers lingered in the soft brown tresses, your lips curling just a tad when he let out a pleased sigh. “Forget about it.”

It was easier said than done.

Because unlike Donghyuck who now slept like the fucking dead from the lack of responses when you restlessly tossed and turned beside him, you laid wide awake with his alcohol-prompted confession running rampant around your head.

It was all you could think about until sleep had finally taken over you.

Donghyuck felt like his skull was going to cave in.

He’s had plenty of hangovers in the past, but this was probably the worst he had felt after a long time. The sunlight that slipped through his blinds seared his eyes that he threw the covers over his head to shield himself from its deadly rays, which he definitely regretted as it made his headache worse. His throat felt dry as if it were made out of sandpaper and it hurt when he swallowed. Donghyuck could use a liter of water right about now if he didn’t feel like absolute shit. Or maybe that honey lemon tea you’d always make for him whenever he felt under the weather.

Instead of getting up to swallow down a pill of Tylenol, Donghyuck took his sweet time to try and soothe the punitive throbbing in his head by sheer willpower alone, because apparently Donghyuck wasn’t in the right condition to nurse it like a normal person would. He’s had quite the eventful night so he hoped that whatever omniscient presence was watching him from afar lets his laziness slide.

The light hurts less now and Donghyuck let a long, drawn out groan slip past his lips as his arms stretched above his head, hissing slightly at the ache.

“Good morning,” you began, “slept well?”

Donghyuck opened his eyes to find you holding what seemed to be a hot steaming mug of… something (he really hoped it was the tea) and a plate of what he could tell was a sandwich of some sort. He ended up not saying anything, too busy recounting last night's events and wishing for a black hole to materialize and swallow him whole. Donghyuck’s other option was to watch you navigate yourself around his room, placing the tea (yay!) and bacon and egg sandwich on his night stand before rummaging around the drawer for the painkillers.

“You’re still here,” Donghyuck said dumbly and you hummed in response to that.

“Someone had to look after you. YangYang and Renjun were just as wasted as you were by the way, but I trust them on their own more.” Yeah, Donghyuck can’t really argue on that. YangYang was more or less like him in a way and Renjun was at least more responsible with his alcohol intake, paired with a decent tolerance so he was able to take care of YangYang. “Still, I’ve got to make sure all 3 of you won't need your stomachs pumped. Scooch over.”

The silence that followed after was a little daunting to say the least, more so when you had your eyes trained on him like a hawk as he took careful bites out of his sandwich. In-between sips of the honey lemon tea helped with the scratchiness in his throat, but even after that, Donghyuck couldn’t find any words in him to sound out. It was usually him who had no problems in breaking the less-than-peaceful peace and he blamed it on the alcohol-promoted confession from last night.

Flustered, embarrassed, humiliated. It was all what the architect could feel at the moment under your cutting gaze that even breathing felt wrong.

Soon enough, the sigh you let out calmed his nerves a little, “I’m not mad, if that’s what you’re thinking,” you took the now empty plate from him with a small, satisfied smile that he was able to stomach the light breakfast. “A little overwhelmed, I guess.”

Perhaps Donghyuck should have felt more at ease at the sight of your smile softening your features, but upon remembering what had transpired from the night prior, the anxiety hit him full force and he honestly felt like he was about to puke his guts out.

“Really, I’m not expecting you to return my feelings,” Donghyuck said in what he hoped was in a reassuring tone. “I’m a big boy. I can handle rejection.” Rejection from anyone else, maybe. Really depends on how emotionally invested he was in the person. From you? He didn’t want to think about it.

You tilted your head, all puppy-like that Donghyuck had an urge to squeeze you from how devastatingly adorable that was. “Im… not rejecting you though?”

“Oh.”

Well, that’s good… right? However that wasn’t exactly the answer he was anticipating. Donghyuck knew you were always direct with your answers. He couldn’t remember a time where you hesitated; it’s either you’d have one at the ready or you simply refused when you deemed a question unimportant to not warrant an answer.

So it definitely meant something. Your hesitation, that is. The fact that it was near impossible to pull a straight answer from you that Donghyuck even went as far as to try and goad you into telling him what you meant by ‘not rejecting him’, but similar to Donghyuck (“stubborn bastard,” Mark would say) you were quite adamant on not telling him, even if you were already halfway outside of his apartment with his grip on your sleeve preventing you from leaving.

Donghyuck’s pout deepened at your exasperated sigh, “this feels a lot like rejection, you know?” he whined, “how should I know you’re not getting my hopes up for nothing?”

“Trust me, it’s not,” you chanced wrenching from his hold, but his grip only tightened in response, leaving your joined hands (hand and sleeve?) dangling awkwardly in mid-air. “And do you really think I would do that to you?”

“No,” he said in a resigned tone, gaze straying before it met yours again, “I’m going to need some proof though. You know I need my reassurance or I will die. Probably.”

He was mostly pulling your leg with that one.

Mostly.

Just a little jokey-joke as that was one of his many ways to cope with the impending doom of a less than desired outcome and if we take Donghyuck’s preference for dramatizing situations and the frequent use of hyperboles into account, the effects of the probable rejection from the one person he’d move mountains for would be no less than apocalyptic. With that in mind, Donghyuck wasn’t really expecting anything right off the bat and he knew for a fact that you knew he was just teasing; and he knew that you were privy to Donghyuck and his defining Donghyuck-isms.

“I’m not rejecting you, okay?”

Donghyuck scoffed.

He will not be swayed by the helpless look you threw at him. Baby-doll Eyes, his brain helpfully supplies, don’t fall for it or you’ll be left as a weakened mess… which isn’t exactly new. He must be going crazy because the laugh he heard in his head was eerily similar to Renjun’s when he has the upper hand, which was like, always.

(He is also hungover so pardon him if he’s being somewhat of a loopy bitch. It’s 10 AM on a Saturday. Donghyuck should have been sleeping at this time).

He knew this tactic all too well, having experienced it a few times in the past when his hormone addled brain could only think of dating as many people as he could with the thought of pursuing you still non-existent.

First, he’ll be lured into believing the sickeningly sweet promises he’d been told to keep him complacent. Second, he’ll be let down so fucking hard that he’ll be left emotionally scarred and jaded with no will to love ever again. At least that’s how the teledramas his mother loved went. Donghyuck’s life felt like that anyway, what with the whole falling for your best friend ordeal and everything that came with it.

That’s probably (the rational side of his brain said it was very unlikely) what you were trying to do.

Make Donghyuck think that he had you where he wanted you to keep him on his toes, teasing him almost to the point he’d be left wanting more. Knowing himself, he’d still eat that shit up because it’s you and he’d wait for a whole millennium if he had to, just to hear that sweet ‘yes’ of yours to level up from being ‘best friends’ to ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. But that would soon vanish, the illusion of security shattering in an instant the moment he would unwillingly set his sights on you walking the halls hand-in-hand with Disney Prince Na fucking Jaemin—

Warmth encasing the entire surface of his neck brought him out of his mental tangent, realizing that you had wrapped your arms around him for a hug. It was a simple gesture out of innocent affection and the initiative to comfort him. It was ‘proof’ too, just as he asked for. He definitely asked for this, yet he can’t help but to be disarmed by you initiating any act of physical affection.

It was usually his thing and having you act on them first felt more special to him; and if Donghyuck truly believed that he was special for being one of the fair few to witness this side of you, then that’s his business alone.

“I do need some time to myself for now, though.” The warm breath of your sigh hitting his skin sent a shiver up his spine, finally regaining control of his hands that found purchase on the soft dips of your waist to keep him steady.

Donghyuck took a second to process what you said, eyebrows knitting together and asking: “why?” the moment you pulled back at a fair distance to face him.

Instead of a direct response, you only graced him with a private smile and he almost melted at the sensation of your fingers playing with the hairs on his nape. You appeared coy almost and it was taking a lot of Donghyuck’s self-control to just take what he wanted, but there were clearly still some boundaries he wasn’t allowed to cross yet and so he stood his ground.

“We’re still going back home together, right?” You asked, blinking slowly and he might as well be smited by whatever higher being there was. You looked too cute and Donghyuck was a weak, weak man.

He covered up the strangled noise in his throat with a cough, “of course.” Why was that even a question? You always go home together—Renjun and YangYang included—for the break. It’s always been that way since freshman year.

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

Just like that, you’ve taken the warmth with you the moment you pulled back from the embrace. He hated seeing you go, even more so when you left him there parsing through every sentence you’ve voiced in hopes of getting an idea of just why you were leaving him high and dry. Though he can’t deny the way his heart soars when you take a moment to smile over your shoulder, wiggling your fingers.

“Dude, do you like, plan on coming back inside or should I shut the door? What are you even doing out there?” YangYang, somehow materializing from thin air, appearing just as ruffled as Donghyuck said over his obscenely large steaming mug of coffee, “you look like shit, by the way.”

Donghyuck leveled YangYang’s shit-eating grin with a gurn, “you look like shit.”

FINALE: Night and Morning

“'Cause it’s a cold world on the outside, but it's so warm when I'm inside your arms.”

summerboy ☀️

Baby :^)

— 11:23 AM

You

😐

try again.

— 11:23 AM

summerboy ☀️

so ur not in love with me yet?

— 11:24 AM

You

Donghyuck.

—11:24 AM

summerboy ☀️

damb worth a shot 🤕

n e ways the boys n i are on our way to pick u up

yy’s driving

— 11:24 AM

You

okay see you

— 11:25 AM

summerboy ☀️

i love you 😚

— 11:25 AM

You

👍🏼

— 11:27 AM

summerboy ☀️

pls

— 11:27 AM

You startled at the knock on your bedroom door.

Winter poked her head through the gap, “Satan’s spawn is here.”

“Donghyuck has a name.”

Your roommate snorted, stepping into the room, “Is there really any difference?”

“Not really, no.” You trailed off, voice becoming quieter and quieter until you were rendered silent as you went about your last minute packing for the long trip home with the boys.

Now this particular reaction, Winter found extremely odd. You were quieter than most, yes, having a seemingly blasé demeanor that people had grown to accept over time; that you just preferred listening over its counterpart. Although that was already a given just by first impressions alone, the silence that surrounded you was not the kind where anyone who was at least an acquaintance could tell that you were fine, that there was no need for coddling when you were perfectly content being just there.

No, this silence weighed heavily on you and Winter could tell with the way your shoulders slumped when breathing out a heavy sigh. Something was definitely amiss and she may have an inkling as to why you were more subdued than usual for almost two weeks.

“Alright, what happened between you two?”

“What makes you think that something happened?”

“As much as I don’t like him invading our space, he hasn’t been here recently. Are you avoiding each other?”

“That’s—no. We aren’t, don’t worry,” you chanced to peek at her reaction and you weren’t really surprised when Winter’s face showed no signs of worry at all. “It’s just… Donghyuck told me that he’s in love with me.”

Winter stared at you, “okay? Fork in kitchen.” you stared back, unimpressed and she all but rolled her eyes. “Y/N, anyone could see the hearts in Donghyuck’s eyes whenever he looked at you—well, except you. You were always in your head.”

“You’re not the first one to tell me that.”

“Oh I can tell,” Winter hummed, leaning against the door frame as she watched a small, private smile tug at your lips. That alone already gave her the idea on who could possibly be able to point out your particular little quirk. “Did you reject him then?”

Your face twisted as you motioned vaguely into the air and Winter had lived with you long enough to immediately understand what you were trying to say.

Her eyes widened a fraction, “you didn’t reject him,” she answered for you with you lifting one shoulder to shrug as confirmation, “I mean, I already expected as much, but why?”

“Well…”

As promised, Donghyuck stayed true to his words.

He gave you the space you needed and well… you guessed that was enough time for you to do some thinking and go through your own realizations as well.

In many cases, getting into relationships was all part of the college experience and arguably, it’s one of the highly anticipated milestones of many. Stepping foot into college also meant venturing out of your comfort zone to meet new people and form connections alongside. Of course, finding love was one of the possible outcomes too.

It sounded nice on paper, a possibility that had piqued your interest when YangYang and Renjun would talk about their latest conquests when it came to either looking for a momentary fling or something that was bordering on serious, which was surprising considering the latter had been someone who would scoff at the idea even if you knew deep down that he wanted that for himself. With YangYang… well, he was flighty at best so you never really had any hope for him.

(“She basically said you're forever bitchless.” Renjun supplied as he gave YangYang’s glass cabinet full of ridiculously expensive anime figurines every ounce of his judgment, as usual. “she’s not wrong.”

“Fuck you. Hatsune Miku wouldn’t treat me like this.”

“And the jokes write themselves. You live a sad life, Liu YangYang.”)

With that being said, there were times where you’d imagine yourself in such situations; ones that involved spending a quiet night with someone who’d you consider your person, finding solace from simply basking in each other’s presence. The idea of a fairytale-like romance sounded lovely, sure, yet you weren’t particularly desperate for one. Just the thought of being adored simply for being you was enough.

And consequently, the involvement of Donghyuck could be the very reason why you hadn’t actively sought out anything that fell in the vein of relationships and its many variations, not when Donghyuck did just that—adored you simply for being L/N Y/N. Maybe it was an unconscious thing that had prevented you from doing so, considering Donghyuck basically filled the void left by that, leaving bits and pieces of himself after every moment you spent together to keep you whole which could explain why you hadn’t felt the need to dabble into the active dating scene of your university.

That was one of the handful of realizations you had come to terms with during the two-week Donghyuck cleanse.

You supposed he was right when he poked fun at your tendency for being oblivious. As said in Pokèmon games, having ‘Oblivious’ as an ability meant that the pokémon possessing this won’t risk being infatuated when its foe used a move that granted the effect. Relating it outside of its game mechanics, you were just what the word meant—oblivious enough to fail picking up on Donghyuck’s many hints throughout the years.

To be fair, the blame shouldn’t only fall onto your lack of awareness. You always preferred when people were upfront with you and it just so happened that your best friend had no particular stance on how much affection he should show to the people close to his heart. Whether it was between you, Renjun, YangYang and the multitude of friends he acquired throughout college, he always made sure to lay his love on thick. He has a lot to give anyway, so really, it wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t distinguish the difference between how Donghyuck treated you from the rest of his peers.

Which brings you back to the brief rehash of the years-long dilemma you had during Girls’ Night.

You weren’t crazy then. Crazy for assuming that there was a definite shift between you both after the unspeakable tryst that remained in the dark. Sure, his eyes took a significantly softer route when it came to training his full attention on you, but you always chalked it up as a privilege of being his best friend. Donghyuck was always softer with you, gentle and always putting you above everything else. Although that was the case, you never dared to think beyond that, not when Donghyuck could very well have anyone his heart desired.

“So you’re saying you feel the same? At least that’s what I think, looking at you right now.”

“I can't say for sure that I love him too,” you mumble, one set of fingers fiddling with the edge of your dress as the warmth bloomed from within your cheeks, “but… something—something is definitely there.” there’s a barely there waver in your voice as you pressed the flat of your palm against your beating chest, “I feel at ease whenever I’m around him—safe. He always felt safe to me, like I don’t have to put up a front when I’m with him.”

“That comes with knowing him for most of your life, Y/N, or I would have started asking questions if you felt the complete opposite,” Winter huffed, smiling when you rolled your eyes in hopes of misdirecting her from your current flustered state. She commended you for at least trying though, but it was painfully obvious that you were a little worked up from the roommate-to-roommate revelation. “You gotta give me more than that.”

“He… I think I’m the happiest when I’m with him.” You shook your head, “no. I know I’m the happiest with him and I don’t… really hate the idea of him feeling that way… for me.”

“Oh honey, if that’s the case, you’re well on your way then.” Winter cooed, snickering as your lips formed into a small, pouty ‘o’ shape. “It's not rocket science, Y/N. This doesn’t have to be complicated and don’t give me that ‘but he’s my best friend’ BS. He doesn’t have to stop being that either.”

“Having a boyfriend slash best friend does sound like a good deal,” you giggle, smiling down at your lap, “what happens if it doesn’t work?”

“You haven’t even tried this out yet and you’re already thinking of the worst? C’mon Y/N, be an optimist for once.”

You grimaced, “sorry. I just don’t want to lose Hyuck if I can’t give him what he deserves.” It would be devastating and you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. How the hell were you going to face the Lee family if that happened?

“I think he can set his own terms, don’t you think? You’re Donghyuck and Y/N, Y/N and Donghyuck,it’ll probably be fine in the end. You both care so much about each other to let anything bad happen.” Winter winked, pushing herself upright from the door frame. “And I think I’ve bought you enough time. He’s waiting on the couch and he also looked like he’s about to shit his pants too.”

You deadpanned, “too?”

Winter only grinned, jerking her head towards the hallway, “let’s go see your boyfriend. He’s been dying to see you, from what I can tell.”

And funny enough, you felt the same.

The two weeks had been quiet, deprived from not having your best friend burst through your bedroom door as if he lived there because somehow, he had gotten a spare key to your apartment, so his unannounced appearances were more frequent than his announced ones. You didn’t even remember if you got him one, but it’s Donghyuck and he was capable of finding ways to get what he wants.

Just as Winter said, Donghyuck was indeed sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone and at the rolling sound of your suitcase’s wheels, he perked up.

Donghyuck’s bright eyes held nothing but unbridled affection as he scrambled his way towards where you stood, Winter snorting to herself when your best friend fumbled with his phone from when it almost slipped from his grasp. On top of that, there was a shy, tentative smile tugging on his lips, wiping the flats of his hands—no doubt clammy—on his denim jeans.

“Hi,” He said, voice soft and equally shy like his expression.

“Hi,” you offered him a gentle smile, hiking up your backpack as you peered at him through your eyelashes. “How was two weeks without seeing or talking to me?”

As expected, he began whining before he could even say a word. Very Donghyuck-esque and annoyingly endearing too. “It was awful. You’re evil for that, by the way. Using my love for you to your advantage. I almost died.”

“You’re such an idiot,” you said fondly, reaching up to brush his freshly dyed hair away from his eyes. It was now a shade of purple, leaning towards a warmer tone where it would shine pink in some places. It looked pretty on him. It complimented his skin tone rather nicely. Donghyuck looked pretty, beautiful even and maybe the distance was well needed. Admitting that felt easy this time around now that you’ve found clarity in the situation.

“Aaaaand that’s my cue to leave! Enjoy your winter break, Y/N.” Winter’s face fell entirely once her attention shifted to your best friend who immediately stiffened, no doubt conditioned by her usual biting-cold approach, “hurt her and I will make sure no one will be able to find your body.”

“Isn’t that premeditated? I swear my life is always threatened when I come over.” Donghyuck said once he deemed the place free from Winter’s icy presence, “couldn’t you find a different roommate who doesn’t think of murder whenever they see me?”

“Oh don’t be dramatic.” Donghyuck felt like he’s already had this exact conversation before, “That’s just Winter being Winter.”

He laughed in disbelief. Of course you’d find your roommate’s bordering on macabre tendencies adorable. “Keeping up with her namesake definitely.” He then took a second to check everything you’re bringing with you for the trip home, “Is that all of your luggage?”

You hummed, “most of what’s in my suitcase are just clothes I’d be switching from the ones back home to fit with the current climate. My backpack’s full of my notes and textbooks. Junior year is pretty rough for us too apparently.”

Donghyuck cooed, snickering at the unimpressed look you shot him, “awe, you poor thing. C’mere.”

If it were anyone else, there would be room for hesitation when letting someone gather you in their arms just like that, but since it’s Donghyuck, well, it’s not really news to anyone if they caught you sagging against his firm chest the moment he pulls you into him; a stark contrast to the sharpness you were known for to the ones who witnessed you walk the halls of the university—shoulders set, chin held high with a involuntary scowl twisting your face.

All of that is non-existent now, perfectly content with being engulfed in Donghyuck’s warmth as you rubbed your nose into the soft fabric of his sweater.

His heart bursts at the sight, watching you bury yourself deeper into his space and what he said prior was true to some degree. Two weeks was far too long for him to be separated from you. You had always been as thick as thieves right from the very start of freshman year and the longest he had to go without seeing you was three days at most, putting both of your demanding majors into consideration.

But he supposed it was all worth it anyway. As the proverb went, absence makes the heart grow fonder and taking in your affectionate mood, its appearance Donghyuck would consider rare based on his standards, he figured you probably mirrored his sentiments, if the pleased sigh you let out was anything to go by.

“C’mon, Renjun and YangYang waited long enough,” his hand immediately took hold of your suitcase’s handle once he’d let go of you, “do you want me to carry that for you too?” Donghyuck nodded towards your bag and you shook your head.

“No, It’s okay.” Then after a beat of silence, you added, “I missed you.”

Donghyuck grinned and his face might have gone a little red too from your sincerity. But it’s whatever; you already knew his feelings for you, why would he shy away? He felt like the happiest man alive and nothing in the world could deter his confidence as he held out his hand for you to take.

“I missed you more.” Then he tugged you along with him as soon as your fingers intertwined with his, marveling how your palms seemed to perfectly align with one another.

And if Renjun and YangYang noticed how you still held hands inside the car even as the hours went by on the road, they didn’t say anything, choosing to give each other knowing smiles as YangYang took it upon himself to break the silence with one of his many anecdotes as Renjun picked out songs to fit the mood.

By the time that you arrived at the neighborhood where everything started, it was already a few minutes past your set dinner time.

Though you assumed that your parents didn’t mind. It was a heartfelt reunion and you felt almost embarrassed by your father’s tearful gaze as he held your hand, welcoming you home. Your mother, on the other hand, appeared positively elated by your arrival, brightening up even more when her glimmering gaze landed on Donghyuck in the midst of hauling your luggage with him towards your porch.

And while it was heartwarming to see this unfold right before you, you’ve never felt so confused ever in your life. Sure your parents treated Donghyuck like he was their son too, but you have never seen them this excited and you were their daughter! Flesh and blood and all the evident mannerisms you've inherited from them! It also felt like they knew something you didn’t and you couldn’t help your lips from parting in muted disbelief when your father gave Donghyuck a firm pat on the shoulder with a resigned smile which the latter returned with a determined one.

What was that all about? Is what your eyes were trying to say when you met your best friend's stare, emphasizing your befuddlement with a head tilt and since he excelled in Y/Nology, just being able to tell what you were thinking by that alone, he merely shrugged in response.

You gave your mother a withering look when all she did was coo and cup her cheek with her hand when resuming her conversation with him.

As much as Donghyuck appeared elated with the conversation, he had to decline your mother’s invitation to have dinner with your family after insisting to take your stuff up to your room. He’s had plenty of dinners with you in the past anyways, missing one wouldn’t be so bad and he did promise to spend some quality time with his family.

The muffled mix of screaming and yelling from next door was enough to tell you that Donghyuck’s family missed him just as much.

Contrary to what people would expect from decade-long best friends who’d been around each other more than they have been separated, the first few days back home were spent having quality time with your respective families. You figured it was fair anyway as you did see Donghyuck almost everyday back in university, so you didn’t really mind waiting for a while until you had him all to yourself.

Donghyuck’s sisters were more than thrilled to take his place though, barreling into your room unannounced (very Donghyuck-esque, you would say) while you were in the middle of continuing a video game from where you’ve left off.

Soft clinks of plastic were heard when pulling out your earbuds in haste, “Donghyuck’s not with you?”

“Dumbhyuck’s gone, and I could care less,” Haeun sniffed, jumping unceremoniously onto your bed which earned her a deadpan.

“Hyuckie’s out with YangYang and a few of their highschool teammates. I think Renjun tagged along too,” supplied Jia with a gleaming smile, much to the older sister’s dismay. Jia was always the milder one of the siblings and it’s always been her job to play mediator whenever it came to Donghyuck and Haeun’s frequent squabbles. “We figured we’d come and… bother you while he’s out.”

Haeun snickered, “yeah, that’s one way to put it,” she immediately waved you off when she caught your face twist in confusion. “So, any college flings I should know of? I knew I should have gone to the same school.”

And well, let’s say Haeun wasn't exactly pleased with the knowledge that your status in the dating scene wasn’t as active as her brother’s, yet at the same time it looked like she already predicted your predicament from the get-go.

“You were always focused on your studies, so it really wouldn’t surprise me if you still continued your streak of abstinence into college,” Heaun shrugged as Jia beside her giggled, pushing at her arm. Oh she was definitely Donghyuck’s sister alright.

You squinted at her jab, your hand itching just to squeeze her cheek a little too hard than you would usually do when you were younger, “I’ll have you know that I—” fucked your brother almost three years ago. “Whatever.”

The abrupt cut visibly piqued the sisters’ interest, both sitting up rimrod straight, “have us know what?” Jia prodded.

“Nothing. It’s not really important.” Even if Haeun and Jia were like sisters to you, it really wasn’t their business to know what happened behind the closed door of Donghyuck’s bedroom. It was a brief moment of your pride taking over, the want to prove that you weren’t as ignorant as what Haeun and Jia assumed and even if they were a year and three years younger than you, respectively, you’d rather keep that knowledge to yourself for now.

“Alright, you little minions, you’ve hogged Y/N’s attention enough. It’s my turn.”

Haeun immediately bristled right when Donghyuck also barreled into the room as if he owned the place, “hogged Y/N’s attention, he says”— she rolled her eyes as Jia made a talking motion with her hand —“as if you haven’t been doing that right when Y/N made you cry right when you first met.”

Donghyuck sputtered as his cheeks took on a rosy hue, “it’s my God-given right as her best friend! Now shoo, it’s me and Y/N time.”

Jia pouted, reaching over to flick Donghyuck’s nose and completely ignoring the yowl of pain that came with it, “you know, one of these days you’re gonna have to let us hog her too.”

“Yeah well, good luck trying,” and the smile he graced Jia was nothing short of challenging before gesturing the two sisters towards your door.

Haeun managed to keep her pointed glare fixed onto Donghyuck while herding their youngest out of your room, “one day, Donghyuck, I swear. We’ll see you later, Y/N.” But all she got in return was a triumphant grin and a wiggle of her older brother’s fingers.

Soon as the door closed behind Haeun, Donghyuck whirled around and dove straight onto your bed, claiming the space beside you and earning him a laugh once he promptly latched onto you; arms and legs constricting around your body as if he was an octopus.

Donghyuck let out a pleased little sound at the feeling of your fingers lightly scratching his nape, “I heard you had a busy day with your old teammates. You didn’t force Renjunie to join you, did you?”

“And risk getting headlocked to death? I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid, Y/N.” Donghyuck chided, wiggling his head to rest on the crook of your neck and you automatically responded by accommodating his attempt on fusing your masses together. “But yeah, and among other things.”

“And what could you possibly have planned for winter break besides your testosterone filled plans of playing Volleyball with the boys?”

“Spending time with you and the family for one. Maybe both at the same time—say, you don’t have any plans tonight, do you?”

You deadpanned, “Hyuck, do I look like I have a booming social life outside my academics and hobbies like you do?”

“I’m just making sure! I don’t want to risk getting cockblocked”— (“excuse me?!”) —“by you wanting to complete the National Pokédex.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong in that regard, but did he have to put it like that? Why did you even ask? This was your best friend you’re talking to.

“Why are you the way that you are.” Your face wasn’t visible to Donghyuck right at this moment, nor was his to you, but you could just tell that he was proud of himself with that one by the low chuckle he breathed out.

He responded with a hum, “am I wrong though?” You didn’t even try to stop him from tightening his hold around your waist.

Not wanting to lose this argument (?), you kept talking, “you promised you’d help me.”

“And I will, baby.” Donghyuck cooed, rubbing his nose against your pulse point and you felt like you were going to explode from just how unapologetically affectionate this cuddle monster was. “I’ll trade you the pokémon you need. But right now, I really want all your attention on me.”

And that ultimately led Donghyuck into dragging you with him towards his home.

It was a series of actions very reminiscent of your childhood. Right from your parents being the first witnesses of you and Donghyuck coming down the stairs and crossing the archway that peeked into the living room until you reached the front door with the latter remembering to close the door behind him this time, to his parents saying their greetings from the kitchen as his sisters would holler from their spot in front of the large TV in their living area.

His bedroom was his usual destination after all that energy he exerted into forcing you to hangout with him, but Donghyuck seemed to be going with something different; both of you completely walking past the oak staircase and towards the backdoor.

You felt like you were eight years old again as you followed closely behind Donghyuck.

There were a few changes to the spacious backyard you grew up playing at, like the abundance of herbs, vegetables and flora planted on the plot of loamy soil you, Donghyuck and Mrs. Lee would spend hours tending when you weren’t exactly in the mood to play.

The large tree in the far middle was still there, too. It looked bigger than the last time you saw it and—ah, of course, the wooden gazebo in particular still looked intact in spite of the notable cycles of maintenance it went through, but it still gave you that sense of nostalgia considering the structure (the entirety of the backyard, actually) was where everything had fallen into place.

Each step you took closer to the gazebo, you realized that it was decorated differently than what it usually would look; a plain old wooden table and chairs that surrounded it with a flower if Mrs. Lee remembered to put one in the clear vase. This time, however, all of that was nowhere to be found and replacing the wooden-core setup was a cozy outdoor motif that came straight out of a pinterest board.

For one, an acceptable amount of fairy lights strewn from column to column provided the warm wash of lighting. It made it bright enough for you to see the two large bean bags pushed against each other with a brown gingham printed cloth spread underneath.

“Mind joining me for a picnic?”

Averting your gaze from the interior, you found Donghyuck standing on top of the steps with his hand reaching for you, “Hyuck, dinner is literally in an hour.”

“Y/N,” He whined, throwing his head back, “I'm begging you to humor me at least once, please.”

“I wouldn’t be holding your hand if I wasn’t.” You grinned, squeezing his hand. “And I have been humoring you for years now.”

Your cheek earned you an eye roll, but he returned the action anyway and tugged you closer, “you’re lucky you're super cute, Y/N.”

As it always has been, the silence had gradually fallen on both of you like a fuzzy blanket fresh from the dryer.

It wasn’t as empty as the kind that simply filled the spaces when you had nothing to talk about; where it was just there, like a looming presence you can’t help but to point out once you’ve taken notice.

This one in particular was nothing like that. All it gave you was a sense of peace where it was only present when you’re comfortable with another presence and you let yourself sink further into the plush bean bag, nibbling on the sandwich Donghyuck had courteously prepared for you both.

“So… is this like a date or—“

Donghyuck choked and started coughing.

From all the self-assurance he had been displaying since reuniting after the two week separation, you had thought that the question wouldn’t faze him. Needless to say, you had to pause from chewing your mouthful to shoot Donghyuck the most incredulous look known to man.

“You’re the one who planned this and you’re embarrassed?”

Grimacing at the assault his windpipe was subjected to, he cleared his throat, “have you missed the part where I said that I’m in love with you? That meant that yes, I also would like a chance to take you out on a date to see what you’re working on.”

“So it is a date.”

“Yeah,” it’s a frequent sight to behold now, the way Donghyuck’s cheeks would flush faintly around you now. Has he always been this cute? “It is a date. How am I doing?” His eyes were wide; eager and shining underneath the warm lights.

Feeling a bit mischievous, you schooled your expression as you checked your fingernails, bored. They were painted a rose color this time. “Well, I’m not hating it.”

“Wow,” came his dry reply and from your peripheral vision, you could see that he sagged just a little, worsening his already atrocious posture, “very helpful, thank you.”

It’s when you really looked at him, not missing the sweet moue on his heart shaped lips, that you laughed, “I’m just kidding. This is really sweet, Hyuckie, thank you.”

The smile you gave him now was nothing short of genuine. It was a strange feeling, your heart being the fullest it has ever been just thinking about how much time and effort Donghyuck spent to prepare all of this. He probably did it right after his annual skirmish with his old high school Volleyball team. Perhaps that was the reason why Haeun and Jia came over earlier, to keep you company and distracted.

“Yeah,” he huffed, satisfied. “that’s what I thought.”

You snickered, pushing your socked foot against his thigh, “do you want something to drink? Soothe your throat?”

Donghyuck perked up, hair bouncing as he nodded, “there’s a couple of Caprisun in the basket, thanks.”

You affirmed his request with a hum, popping the last of the sandwich into your mouth before sliding from your perch. Your knees brushed lightly against the wicker basket as you patted down your dress to get rid of the bread crumbs from your hands before lifting the cover open.

A gasp immediately slipped past your lips.

There were more than a couple of Caprisun actually. You supposed Donghyuck had panicked and threw as much of their stock into it, but that wasn’t exactly what made you gasp as if you’ve heard the raunchiest piece of gossip out there. It’s what was beneath the packets of juice that warranted such a reaction.

Because somehow, there laid your pink Nintendo DS Lite you were sure was lost in storage and Donghyuck’s cobalt blue one.

“Ah, you’ve found them.” Donghyuck also slid down from his beanbag to sit beside you, shoulder bumping against yours.

“Donghyuck I—I thought this was gone forever,” you murmured, taking out your DS Lite and handling it with as much care as possible. Minus the discoloration of the trigger buttons and the light scratches, it was in perfect condition. “How’d you even get your hands on this?”

“I wasn’t lying when I told you I called your mom whenever I could. You wouldn’t believe how relieved I was when auntie found it with your Pearl cartridge still stuck in it. Remember when I was gone for like a week?”

“Yeah, you had Winter and I worried too.”

Maybe not Winter. “I highly doubt your roommate is capable of empathy,” Donghyuck had long accepted that the former won’t ever thaw her cold and dead heart for him, for your sake or not, “but I was actually running around looking for a place that could fix whatever needed fixing. Then I remember Sungchan fixed shit like this for fun. I was lucky he still had some replacement parts left.” He then watched you observe your DS for a moment, laughing softly at your delighted surprise the moment it lit up to life at the flick of its switch, followed by the sound of it booting.

“By the way,” Donghyuck interjected before you got to tap on the Pokémon Pearl logo, “do me a favor and check your party pokémon, yeah? I think YangYang might have messed around and I wasn’t sure if he returned your original six back. Or if I remembered to do it myself.”

Your eyes darkened, “he better not do anything to my Garchomp.”

Before anything else, you were a woman with an attachment to the first ever team you worked your ass off to perfect that you skipped the nostalgia-filled intro to the game and dove straight into loading your saved file that, embarrassingly enough, showed the obscenely long hours of gameplay accumulated.

It was an instant recognition, seeing the small avatar standing in the middle of a flower field. You were in Floaroma Town and you couldn’t for the life of you remember the last thing you did before abandoning it entirely in favor of the newer games that came out. Guessing YangYang’s course of actions from having your DS in his temporary custody is off the plate since you really had no clue just what he could even do in a town that was more of a glorified pit-stop for Honey.

But whatever, you weren’t here to dissect YangYang’s possible motives (only God would know the inner workings of Liu YangYang’s mind) and so to check on your pokémon was the first thing you did, as per Donghyuck’s request too.

As the screen blackens, you had no other thought except that if YangYang did mess around and change your pokémon party for shits and giggles, Donghyuck would have placed them back on his own initiative as he did know how serious you were when it came to your team.

Although it was a highly possible thought, nothing could have prepared you to see what waited for you the moment the screen lit up to show the user interface of your party.

Please pretend this is Diamond and Pearl’s UI 😭

For one, your trusty team was nowhere to be found and instead, five Combees and one Vespiquen sat idly in their place. Now, you would naturally find this humorous because out of all pokemon, why choose five of a trio of bees that made up one entity and what was essentially their queen bee? But if anything, you were more perplexed, especially with the nicknames labeled on each pokemon that had structured a sentence that blatantly asked—

“Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

Saying that out loud couldn’t even diminish the sheer absurdity of this situation, this uncommon method of questioning and you wanted to laugh until tears—happy tears sprung to your eyes at the mental image of a possibly sleep-deprived and frustrated Donghyuck going out of his way to tirelessly search for six Combees in total. Those Combees were probably the stars of his plan too and fuck if you didn’t think that this was the cutest thing he has done so far.

“Will you?” A warm press of Donghyuck’s cheek against your bare arm shook you out of your reverie. You couldn’t find the strength to look at him. Not yet. “officially be my other half so I won’t gaslight myself into thinking I’m just being ironic every time I talk about you to people?”

“6 female Combees, Donghyuck,” you pointed out, clearly in awe and dodging the question for now in favor of satiating your curiosity first. “How long did you spend waiting for 6 of them to spawn exactly?”

“I’ll be honest, time stopped being real to me and YangYang’s encouragements weren’t exactly helpful.”

(YangYang couldn’t give any less fucks about the current time when he left the comfort of his bedroom/man cave. What he did care about was the fact that Donghyuck hadn’t moved from his perch on the sofa since last night.

Squinting at the sight, he wasn’t at all surprised to see the same pink DS that kept the architect preoccupied this past week in his clutches

“This would be considered ‘bitchless behavior’ if I didn't know what this was for.” YangYang said as he plopped down beside Donghyuck with a carton of chocolate milk in hand, watching the latter go about his goal of slathering every Honey tree there was in Sinnoh with Honey for the umpteenth time as if it was programmed into him.

“A for encouragement, Liu,” Donghyuck bit back, but everyone could just tell it lacked the usual fire that accompanied his rebuttals. It was obvious that he was tired. Sleepy eyes looking significantly sleepier every time the avatar on the small screen took a step. “I’m doing all this in the name of love”— he paused to yawn —“It’s Y/N. She’s gonna love this.”

Renjun hummed from his place on the old arm chair that came with the apartment, peering at Donghyuck over his cup of steaming tea that slightly fogged up his glasses, “give her a stick with your name on it and she’ll think it’s the best stick ever.”

He wasn’t wrong. Behind that aloof front you put up on most occasions, the apparent leniency you had for him wasn’t hard to miss, but Donghyuck thought to humble himself a little.

“Well, enough that she’ll let me down easy.” Donghyuck said in blithe disregard of the possibility.

Renjun snorted and shared a knowing smile with YangYang, “sure she will.”

Before Donghyuck could question the vagueness of Renjun’s input, YangYang beats him to it, resting his head comfortably on his shoulder, “you do know you can just, like, breed Combees to make things faster, yeah?”

It looked like Donghyuck also had thought of that, but he was already neck-deep into this plan of his that he might as well commit to it, “shut up, nothing speaks committed as waiting every 6 hours to check 21 honey trees for Combees, much less female ones.”

“You’re a lost cause, Donghyuck.”

“To be fair, he was already a lost cause the moment Y/N came into his life.” Renjun said with a pointed sip of his tea. How fitting.

YangYang shrugged, “fair enough.” Then, because the youngest absolutely lived for the drama, he added with a follow up question, “was the sex really that good?”

Donghyuck all but pushed him to the ground, red in the face).

“And the Vespiquen that’s named after me?”

“The shoe fits,” Donghyuck shrugged, “perfectly, might I add. You were like the queen of Pokémon games back in middle school. You literally made boys cry with your insanely strong Garchomp you affectionately named ‘Nibbles’.’”

“Okay, in my defense, I didn’t know that not all kids would take competitive battling seriously like I did,” you laughed, shutting the DS off. “and if I remember correctly, you cried too.”

It’s at this point where you now decided to face Donghyuck and your heart stuttered when you found him already looking at you, hazy pools of brown glimmering underneath the warm lights. His upper body rested on the beanbag with his hand propping his head up as he leveled your wide-eyed stare with a coy smile.

“Nevermind the semantics,” he murmured, gaze straying below—your lips maybe—and then back up again, “what do you think of my big-brained plan of asking you to be my girlfriend?”

The thing is with Donghyuck, he had the power of making things sound less serious than they originally were, and you’ve always found it interesting how he was able to do just that when the time calls for it—such as this time. You supposed it was his own way of being considerate. This could possibly alter the course of your life hugely after all and it did help lessen the pressure you would have felt, but you already made your decision long ago and you wouldn’t want to keep your person waiting.

He’s already done his time and you would love to relieve him of that.

“Well, encountering a female Combee is rare,” you began with a thoughtful hum, both of your hands supporting your weight when you leaned forward. “let alone 6 in a row,” and you relished the way Donghyuck’s eyes widened when you crawled towards him with purpose. “The chances of encountering a female one is—”

Donghyuck sucked in a breath, clearing his throat when you settled next to him, the concept of space almost non-existent, “12.5 percent, yeah. I know.”

You simpered at that, “of course you would. I know you wouldn’t have done your research if you weren’t serious about this.”

Admittedly, seeing his jaw clench at your subtle jab was doing it for you and you didn’t even try too hard to hide your amusement, biting down on your lower lip.

“Okay, first of all, how dare you.” ah, a mad Donghyuck was truly a sight for sore eyes; eyes wild, mouth twisted into a scowl as he made himself appear bigger than he actually was. “Second, of course I’m serious! I’m serious about you, I’m serious about us and I love you more than anything this world has to offer and—”

You grabbed his face and cut him off with a kiss.

A rather started yelp sounded from him the moment he felt the pressure of your lips against his. The two of you were no strangers to the very close proximity, but adding kissing was definitely throwing him off a little. On Donghyuck’s bad days, he had always thought that his fantasies would remain just that; something to keep his delusions at bay and back then, his bouts of daydreaming was enough to fill in the cracks of his heart left by each day he failed to let his feelings for you known.

Having that turned into reality, something that was now his for the taking whenever you will allow it, Donghyuck feared that he won’t live past a day without planting one on your lips. The kiss was sweet, slow and all-consuming and he didn’t waste any time to pull you closer until you’re pushed up against his chest. Donghyuck took his time with you, matching the languid push and pull you’ve set and humored you with the little noises of contentment he let out when you dared to push harder, see how much would it take for him to throw all formalities to the wind and consume you whole.

“I love you,” Donghyuck whispered, followed by a shaky exhale as he kissed you on the center of your mouth, “I’ve loved you since the day after we were supposed to go to that party,” his fingers cradled your jaw gently, lips brushing against yours with every word he spoke.

Even in the haze of the overwhelming warmth that aroused from all that heated kissing, you sobered up rather quickly at the confession, “hold on, after we had sex? Seriously?”

“Okay, maybe that sounded sleazier than expected, but I do love you,” he swooped in to steal a kiss and hit you with the puppy eyes. God, he’s gotten good at that. “I’ve loved you my whole life and believe me it isn’t just because of the sex either.” Donghyuck’s eyebrows knitted together, rendered silent by whatever thought that just entered his mind, then laughed in a rather bashful manner, “then again, it was pretty good so—“

“Oh my God, just stop fucking talking and kiss me.”

Donghyuck laughed, “okay okay, you’re so bossy,” he teased as if he wasn’t just as desperate as you, as if he didn’t have a death grip on your waist in case you slipped through his fingers like the many times he thought you did. “But since the moon to my sun asked nicely—”

You cut him off with a kiss again because no matter how much you adored your best friend, flaws and all, you really just wanted him to shut up for once.

None of you knew how long you actually spent making out in the gazebo. Though the moment Donghyuck had taken it upon himself to plant you on his lap, the inhibitors in your brain that would have been responsible with reminding you that you were still in a semi-public place to be doing all of this had numbed—even more so when Donghyuck’s slick tongue slid past the seam of your lips and you were left simply acting upon your hidden carnal instincts, nimble fingers tangling into his warm hued tresses and tugged.

And well, things started to escalate a little… a lot.

Sweet and slow turned sticky and heavy and you would be lying if you said you’d rather go with the initial pace you had set prior. A handful Donghyuck might be to most, he has always been sweet to you. Kind, considerate and would bend over backwards if you asked him to, no questions asked. This time, it was he who set the pace and you surrendered at the thumb pressed underneath the hinge of your jaw.

Donghyuck kissed you like he was starving, as if you would be the last meal he’d ever have and you made a broken noise when he angled his head a little, his grip on the soft dip of your waist bruisingly tight. As much as you adored the sweetheart that was Lee Donghyuck, you were absolutely crazy for the man underneath you, swallowing up all of the myriads of noises he had managed to pull out from you. You wanted more of what he could give you, you wanted more of what could test your limits from simply taking until you couldn’t anymore. You wanted everything of Donghyuck.

When you both broke apart for air at the same time, Donghyuck looked absolutely delectable; cheeks red, hair an absolute mess from the amount of tugging you’ve subjected to and his lips were swollen, spit-slick and you guessed you just looked about that same—just as much as a wreck as he was.

“I love you,” Donghyuck repeated, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek bone, “I love you today,” kiss on the cheek, “I’ll love you tomorrow,” kiss on the tip of the nose, “I’ll love you forever,” lips brushed against lips.

“I’ll love you until love itself stops existing.”

“Fuck,” Donghyuck hissed against your mouth the moment his phone went off. He reached for it behind him, completely missing the first few times until you grabbed it yourself, handing it over. He thanked you with a kiss and you rolled your eyes at the satisfied smile he gave you that he was now able to do that.

Donghyuck’s eyebrows knit together as he took a look at who could possibly be calling him in the middle of you two trying to suck each other’s faces off, grimacing, “Mom? What do you want?” He asked, making a face while rubbing his hand up and down your arm with you rolling your eyes.

“Donghyuck, as much as I am happy that you finally grew the balls to ask Y/N to be your girlfriend—took you long enough, really—we really don’t want you two defiling the gazebo.”

He immediately twisted his neck towards the direction of the kitchen window and there he saw the silhouette of his mother.

“Mom!” he yelled, mortified.

“I’m just saying!” He could see her wave him off, “also dinner’s ready and Y/N—your girlfriend,” While Donghyuck wass over the moon by that comment, the cooing he was subjected to from his own mother was a hindrance to his momentary happiness. “is more than welcome to join us!” And then the line goes dead.

“So… what did auntie want?” You asked as your fingers twisted into the fabric of your sundress.

“Apparently she saw us and told me to not defile the gazebo,” He huffed, “I mean, we already defiled my childhood bed anyway so…” Donghyuck shrugged, making you snort.

“Speaking of that, don’t you think it’s insane that I had you fuck me first before you kissed me? It literally took us 3 years for an actual kiss.”

“I mean, I thought kissing you in between all that was too intimate, so I didn’t.”

You gave him an incredulous look, “your dick was literally inside of me. I think that’s more intimate than having our lips touch for like, 10 seconds at most.”

It went quiet, the two of you just processing both of your sentences before bursting in raucous laughter

“Wow, so we’re both stupid.” You said in between giggles.

Donghyuck grinned, leaning in to kiss your cheek, “best friends for a reason, baby, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He looked so happy. It was evident when his face brightened at the mere sight of you and even if you weren’t a child who was easily influenced by other children’s emotions anymore, Donghyuck still was a different story. He was your best friend, your person, your soulmate even and you wouldn’t be surprised if you were more attuned to his emotions at this point in time. You understood him better than anyone could and the same goes for him.

You may not say ‘I love you’ to him now, you knew it wouldn't be too long before those three words would eventually fall from your lips and possibly make him even happier. The warmth Donghyuck radiated had always been a source of comfort for you, and now being able to freely soak it all up without having to question anything felt so right.

Donghyuck’s hand cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothingly against the warm skin under your eye, “so how about it? Wanna give us a shot?” He asked, voice as tender as his eyes.

“I didn’t kiss you first for nothing, Hyuck,” you leaned into his touch and for sure you mirrored the adoration swimming in those pools of chocolate brown. “I’d be happy to be loved by you.”

“And I’d be happy to be eventually loved by you.”

If Donghyuck was able to wait for more than a decade to finally get a grasp on what he wanted the most, he can wait for a bit longer for you to say the words that would seal the deal.

After all, the sweet kiss you gave him was enough to tell him that the wait would always be worth it in the end.

BONUS: My Whole Life

“I can see my whole life when I’m with you.”

“I’m naming my rival after you,” you began as the game prompted you to name the said rival. “Hyuck fits. He looks annoying, just like you.”

Donghyuck pouted, “is that the only word you can describe me with, ‘annoying’?”

“Well,” you smiled when you finished typing out ‘Hyuck’ on the bottom screen and you only had to press ’start’ to confirm your choice. “you make it hard not to, but don’t worry—I’ll still be your friend. Even if you are annoying.”

Donghyuck’s face twisted at that, “you’re so mean.” he then gets this contemplative look. “I’m going to name my rival after me too.”

“What?” You looked at him like he was crazy, “so you’re going to name your character ‘Hyuck’ and your rival ‘Hyuck’?”

“No. I’m gonna play as a girl and name her after you,” He corrected. Donghyuck still had his eyes zeroed in on his own DS, so he wasn’t able to see the utter bewilderment on your face and as if sensing the question there, he continued with: “if you’re playing against me in your game, then maybe I can play as you on mine, so that way I can still have you with me every time I play!”

You had so many questions. Mostly questions that started with ‘why’s’ but his reasoning was kind of sweet in a way, so you didn’t ask. Flattering too with how eager and genuine he sounded. Most boys would immediately pick the male character in games similar to the Pokémon games. Then again, Donghyuck wasn’t just some boy, he was your friend—best friend and if that’s what he wanted, then who were you to stop him from playing as Dawn’s avatar with your name smacked on top?

“Do what you want.”

A/N: welp congratulations on reaching the end! And in light of Hyuck asking Y/N to be his gf, YangYang was right when he said breeding Combee would be faster (‘cause I did that that myself, as the screenshot above provided, and it took me like 2 hours to get 4/6 of them, since the encounter rate—hatch rate in this case—is still 12.5%) anyways let me know what you think! (please tell me ur thoughts) As always, likes n reblogs are much appreciated <3

[omghanie]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𐙚 NCT 127 𐙚

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

✧ · . ˙ Nakamoto Yuta.

ᯓ𖹭 Meu Local Seguro.

gênero: romance, fluff, angst (bem pouco).

sinopse: Ser adepta ao estilo gyaru sempre foi uma das suas maiores felicidades, bem, pelo menos dentro de sua casa, compartilhando seus outfits na internet. Porém, quando se tratava da vida real, o simples ato de fazer uma maquiagem que te agradava e sair na rua era seu maior pesadelo. Sua sorte, no entanto, foi conhecer alguém tão “esquisito" quanto você.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

✧ · . ˙ Mark Lee.

ᯓ𖹭 Pijamas.

gênero: smut, pwp.

sinopse: Você comprou um pijama novo e decidiu usá-lo para tirar algumas fotos... Interessantes. Agora, com elas previamente em mãos, antes mesmo de serem postadas, seu melhor amigo, Mark, tem uma nova fonte de satisfação em sua rotina noturna.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

✧ · . ˙Johnny Suh.

ᯓ𖹭 Fucking cute.

gênero: smut, pwp.

sinopse: Johnny ama coisas fofas, principalmente ursinhos de pelúcia! Ele gosta de admirar a beleza adorável deles, abraçar, sentir o tecido quentinho, o cheirinho doce, a maneira como, depois de comprados, eles se tornam inteiramente seus, para fazer o que bem entender, incluindo foder.

[hirokari]

↠ soda ; zhong chenle | teaser

m.list. wip.

pairing: zhong chenle x gn!reader

tags: street racer au, love at first sight, mostly fluffy, slowburn, NCT writing collab; 23 Ways to Fall in Love (hosted by dearest bb @dreamyyang ♡)

warnings: explicit language, reckless driving

summary: in which it takes a mechanic on the run, a racing champion, two soda cans and a single glance to fall helplessly in love.

author’s note: here it is! the teaser for my first work for a collab! though, i won’t be published any time soon ಠ_ಠ but I’m still hyped up for this!!! currently 500 words in,, estimating around 2-4k words? i don’t know- i’m not one to be considered a good promise keeper ._.

( chenle’s hair will be mint for the sake of my mental capacity and keeping up with the TONS of times he changes hair colors [i also happen to have a soft spot for minty-le] )

tag list!

@ddreamydays (thank you for joining!)

release date: goal: 22nd November let’s go! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

“Beer?”    “Uhm, I don’t... drink.” 

   There’s dirt flying in the air now, slowly falling on your lashes, causing you to flinch and squint aggressively. With another roar of the engines, the sounding blow of a foreign yet familiar whistle indicates that it’s the last round. You’re blinking furiously and wiping your eyes with one hand, the other smacking a laughing Jeno as he walks away to leave you struggling. 

   Heaving a heavy sigh, relief washes over your flaming cheeks, eyes finally fluttering open, averting to the first thing that’d caught your attention. Shoes. A pair of dirty converse. Slowly travelling up, your irises soon meet a pair of brown ones. Your jaw drops a little. You look away quickly, and by the sound of feet shuffling the other way, you can tell the bleach-haired champion had looked the other way too. 

“Um, I heard you didn’t drink-- h-here.” 

    A warm palm presses at the back of your hand, another setting a cold object to your grasp. “Oh... thanks.” You smile a little, fingers wiping at the drops of condensed water on the can. Mustering up all the remaining courage you had in you, you look up, eyes meeting his again. 

“Chenle, tonight’s victor.”    “Y/N, a now wanted criminal.” 

jaemjenjam, 2021

[slightlymore]

Rumours | Part 1

Thank you love!! I hope you like this

Part 2 Rumours were that Johnny Suh was very good in bed. Those whispers travelled all around the university campus caressing the ears of every student, standing in pairs while covering their mouths, eyes wide and curved lips, drinking in the juiciest gossip of that year.  

“I’ve heard he can make you cum all night and you have to beg him to stop”. “Greg never manages to make me moan as he’s already shaking by himself”. “God, Fiona, dump his ass already, he’s not even that great”. “The guys said that his penis is the biggest one on campus” “I would sell my soul for him to touch me with one single finger” “I’ve heard that he is able to fuck all night” “His pussy eating technique is impeccable” And many more. You’ve heard all the rumours possible and sometimes you inserted yourself in those groups of people on purpose, just to feel up to date. Johnny here, Johnny there, all of this information, but no real witnesses. You were amused at the whole situation and wondered what the truth really was.  How come everyone swore about this information but no one actually slept with Johnny before? Where did all of this come from in the first place? The thing is, Johnny never addressed any rumours about his out of world cock or god-tier skills and no one explicitly asked him if it was true or not. He would only laugh as someone complimented him or gave him knowing looks. It was just like that. Canon. But you wanted to see for yourself. You had to know the truth. You were waiting for the right moment to go and ask. Deadass.  And thanks to the universe, the opportunity came when you least expected it. When the professor told you that for the new semester you’ll have to work in pairs everyone groaned and rolled their eyes. There was not a single soul happy to work in teams. Yet, weird energy lingered around the classroom as the professor was about to share your partners. Because Johnny was there as well. The silence was total as if everyone kept their breath in while on the edge of their seat. Was it because Johnny was mysterious and no one could talk to him? Was that the only chance to have him around? No. You could go and talk to him and he would raise his honey eyes at you and smile widely. It was because everyone was shy out of their own mind and they didn’t want to admit that they dreamed about fucking Johnny every night while humping their pillows. This situation was ideal because it was inevitable. “I’m not hanging out with him because I want to get into his pants” people would comment. “Pfft, I’m not that type of person. We’re just working on a project together” they would explain. Even though everyone knew. Everyone knew that Johnny Suh was the most desired man in the whole university. “Fuck, I hope he’s bi” you heard a low whisper behind you as you were all waiting for his name to pop up.  You kept in a chuckle. You couldn’t lie and say that you weren’t curious to talk to him as well. You wanted to know. The funny thing to you was the fact that people took for granted that they would get laid in the first place. You weren’t that conceited. You didn’t want his dick. You just wanted to know the truth. 

“Johnny and Y/N,” the professor said with a monotone voice, unaware of what he has just announced. You felt your eyes widen at your luck and didn’t even feel the multiple light slaps you received from people around you, as congratulations, or, who knows, maybe envy. Johnny looked around as to search for you. He didn’t know who you were, obviously. When he linked eyes with yours you raised your hand a little as if greeting him. Hey, yes, YN is me, haha. God, you’ve never felt so awkward in your whole life. He smiled at you though and imitated your gesture before turning his back again. 

“What’s your favourite prompt?” a voice asked while the chatter of people leaving the room intensified. You ignored it, sure it wasn’t directed to you, but then the voice said your name. “Huh?” you raised your head, the pencil case in mid-air as you were packing your bag. “For the project” Johnny explained after letting out an airy chuckle. “Did you look at the list already?” he asked. He was standing on the stairs, at the side of the room, hands tucked inside his pants’ pockets, polite smile on his lips, bag wrapping his chest. “Oh-” you babbled not expecting him to approach you that way and you grabbed the paper. You could swear that it wasn’t written in a language you were able to read. “Uhm-” you hummed again. “I have no idea. Do you have something in mind?” you asked instead. There was no reason for you to feel this nervous. You didn’t want to sleep with him. You just wanted to know the truth. Calm the fuck down, Y/N.  He went silent as if he indeed had something pop up in his mind then he looked down at you again. “Let’s have lunch together if you don’t have other plans” he suggested. 

Your hands were tightly wrapped around the backpack straps as you were walking towards the corner of the campus Johnny choose as his lunch spot. “I like to eat outside” he explained seeing your confused face when you walked out of the main building. “It’s fine. It’s a nice day” you reassured him. Even if your heart has never beaten that fast before. Having to eat with him in the hall as everyone was staring would have been terrible. Eating with him alone where no one could see you? A dream come true but terrible as well. You weren’t ready to sleep with Johnny Suh. Who were you kidding? What were you thinking? Pairing you both wasn’t a blessing. It was a curse. You were already regretting it. You would be such a disappointment. You could count the number of dicks you’ve sucked before on one hand and you didn’t even need all 5 fingers to do so. Deep in your thoughts you almost missed Johnny as he indicated with his chin the place, saying that you’ve arrived. It was a nice spot, high up on top of a little knoll that accommodated a big tree as well. You sat in the shade on the soft green grass and looked down at the campus. “Quite nice, isn’t it?” Johnny asked. His hair was being caressed gently by the breeze and the little rays of sun poking through the leafage made it shine brightly as if it was gold. Then he looked at you. There it is, you thought. Here it comes. That’s it. You gulped down and tried hard to stop yourself from ripping the grass around you. What were you about to do before? What were your intentions with Johnny? Talk? You had no idea and you didn’t care as his scent inebriated you.  He leaned in slowly. You let your eyelids close a little as he was approaching. Your pulse was throbbing inside your ears and your palms got suddenly sweaty. “So, I was thinking, number 6? Or we can read all of them one by one and decide” he spoke after a while as he finally reached his bag near you. He unzipped it and took out a beautiful bento box that he put on his knees. You gasped for air, trying hard to not get noticed and silently cursed at yourself. Okay, rewind. You really thought that Johnny Suh would kiss you after knowing you for 5 minutes?  Of course, he wouldn't ask you to suck his dick. On campus! In the middle of the day! God, you were so embarrassed. You tried hard to escape all the prejudices around him and there you were, panties wet just like every other person.  Talking! Just talking. That was your mission. Focus.  “Does it bother you?” you asked on a whim after a while. Having decided that number 6 was indeed the best choice, you finally started to eat. He let you taste his food and you excused yourself for not offering your sandwich as well but it was quite terrible and he wouldn’t want to experience that. “What?” he asked even if the little line around his mouth told you that he knew what you were talking about. “The rumours” you answered with a little voice. You were so eager to know the truth about it. Like it was a mystery, not the life of a real person. But now, in front of him, you realized how stupid your intent was and that it wasn’t your business. He didn’t answer for a while and just put the lid back on his bento box. Then he smiled. “Believe it or not, you’re the first person to ask me that”. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t ask since we barely know each other-” you started to excuse yourself, afraid to come off as rude. You really wanted to abort the mission and run away.  “No, it’s fine” he assured you. “I actually appreciate it a lot” he added. You swallowed the last piece of sandwich you had and just stupidly looked at him. “It does bother me a little” he answered your question. “Because it makes me just that” he added. You nodded seriously. “A sex god”. He went silent for a split second then laughed as if not expecting such wording.   “Yes, I guess you can say it that way” he spoke again when he was able to breathe again. You smiled timidly as well, noticing his slightly red cheeks. Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t hate you if you asked. Maybe it was fine. Maybe you could finally get the answer to that big mystery.  “So…” you started, feeling more confident already. “If it’s true or not?” he surpassed you. You hummed, unable to stop your heart from racing. So close. You were about to know.  A little leaf danced on top of your head, swirling until reaching your face and hitting your nose. You closed your eyes and chuckled surprised.  The leaf then fell on your lap as you touched your face. Johnny’s hand appeared in your peripheral vision. His fingers brushed against your thigh with the intent to retrieve the leaf, but for some reason, they kept on casually lingering there. You turned your head and looked at him but the sun was right behind his head and you couldn’t quite see his expression when he spoke again. “I think you need to discover the answer to that by yourself” he whispered. You continued to stare at him as if under a spell and you thought of nothing besides the way his body got up and slowly descended the hill. When he turned his head to you while waving, you could swear that he winked at you.

[fullsunalicia]

since i just noticed we are in DIRE need of some yuta around here and i love your writing to bits... may i request a friends-to-lovers!au with our one and only osaka prince?🥺 some tooth-rotting fluff with a dash of angst sprinkled in between? thank you so much!💚

velleity • NMY

velleity (n.) - a wish or inclination not strong enough to lead to action. an accurate example: the love that has been blooming inside your veins for nakamoto yuta, long before you even knew what it was like to fall.

thank you so much for your request !! i love yuta with all my heart and i was so happy when i saw your message 🥺 i hope you enjoy bubs!

You meet Nakamoto Yuta in elementary school, back when his Korean was clumsy and his beautiful features had still been a mystery beneath these chubby cheeks. The grimace the boy presented when you pulled at them didn’t reveal them, either, so for a very long time both Yuta and you couldn’t ever imagine calling the other ‘beautiful’.

Now, it would be blasphemy to call him anything but. Yuta’s face is what people claim to be picturesque. Perfect, down to the last detail. To assume that he is flawless would be a lie, but you’re convinced that your best friend isn’t far from that. He looks like he jumped straight out of a fairytale, like the prince you had been imagining every time your mother read you a good-night-story. You see him when you close your eyes, long after you slipped into a dream. But because you never reduced him to looks, you get to brag with the title ‘Yuta’s best friend’. You know him inside out, all the little things and the trivia behind it. Your knowledge is a treasure, expanded over the many years where you get to know this precious soul and watch it grow. Take shape, a rose exploding out of its’ bud.

That knowledge contains the silliest facts. He loves takoyaki, especially when you cook it. Despite the fact that you’re not japanese and will never reach the culinary skill level his mother is on, he inhales the food like it’s his last meal and then bombards you with every single compliment he can muster up. He also loves soccer, but quit it to focus on school and later on becoming an idol. Another funny fact is that Yuta hates the taste of limoncelli, because it’s the first alcoholic drink you ever gave him and then procceeded to get him wasted with. An hour later, he vomitted it out. (To be fair, he asked for you to get him drunk because he claimed it’s the only way to cure a broken heart. Clearly, this man has never had the perfect comfort food.)

You have read Nakamoto Yuta and studied him like a favorite book, a favorite read. There are folds in his soul from pages that you hold more dearly than anything else, and torn pages that represent the many fights that you both had. Yuta is familiar, constant. From time to time, you take him out the shelf, dust him off and fall in love with him all over again. The story enamours you every time. Your best friend stole your heart when you were sixteen and unknowing, undisturbed, when he held you so tightly you were going to suffocate. The smell of perfume and home. Loud whistles from both of your friend groups, a heartbeat that resonates inside you as if it was your own.

Befriending Yuta had been fate. It had been like meeting a kindred spirit, and you broke the golden rule. You fell in love. You feel that love even now, when you look into those ebony eyes. You’re looking at him, but he’s looking at her.

Heart-wrenching. That’s what it feels like when you serve him his favorite food but he still can’t tear away his gaze from her, and you reminisce the days where he would cheer like a little boy and thank you with the brightest light in his eyes, even though your first tries at the dish must’ve been only edible at best. You grab for a chopstick and aim for his head, and he whines loudly when it meets its’ target. “You’re so mean! Is that the thanks I get for visiting you at work?”

“You mean bothering me, idiot?” You roll your eyes and turn around to wipe the counter. Of course your stupid heart had beat faster the second you saw him step into the restaurant, just for it to shatter into a thousand pieces when you realized that he was here for someone else. Sweet Sana, who had been on the receiving end of your envy for years now, based on the fact that she was Yuta’s dream girl and not you. The envy is always accompanied by guilt, because Sana is nothing but kind and selfless, the shoulder you had been leaning on for years now ever since Yuta dedicated himself to his career. You watch as she rounds the tables and picks up dirty dishes, a smile adorning her lips despite the tedious task. An angel. She must be. “You just showed up and demanded to be fed. Not a single please and thank you, you spoilt brat. Aren’t you ever getting sick of takoyaki?”

“I could never.” Your best friend seems disturbed by the thought. If Yuta was ever served a death sentence for having killer looks, you’d bet a thousand dollars he would still choose Takoyaki as his last meal on death row. To look that good should be illegal. And it should also be illegal to steal your breath every time you guys meet gazes. There’s so much warmth in his eyes, reserved only for you - it’s a look that not everyone can be grazed with, not to those who haven’t known his entire being by heart. But never will you find the romance you crave in them, and that thought pushes you to look away every time.

You swallow down the pain and force yourself to keep a neutral face. “I’m putting you on a diet, if that’s the way you’re gonna act when I serve you your favorite food. Stop staring at her already, creep, you’re scaring her.”

Yuta sighs, long and heavy. Dramatic. He’s always been open with his crushes. “But she’s sooo pretty,” he pouts then, resting his head in the palm of his hand to look at Sana more comfortably. Right when both of you look at her, she turns to where you guys are sitting and waves, a cute little blush exploding on her cheeks. Very relatable. There’s not a single girl who is immune to your best friend’s charm. Yuta immediately springs into action to wave back, and you try to ignore the way his excited grin makes your chest hurt. “See? She’s not even doing anything and I’m still falling even harder!”

Yeah, that feeling seems familiar. The only difference is who you associate it with.

— ❅ —

Falling in love is so easy. Too easy, considering the fact that it can take years for your heart to recover and even then, the person never leaves your heart fully. You have wasted many years trying to get over Nakamoto Yuta, but your heart refuses to do so; the farest you ever get is closing the door on him, but you can never quite get yourself to lock it. The keys are always in his hands, impossible to tear away. Some people just aren’t meant to leave.

You’ve learned too many lessons from Yuta for you to ever forgot about him. You will never be able to not associate warm summer nights with him, will never forget the way he runs off the soccer field straight in your arms and whirl you around after a particularly good game. The first person to ever teach you how to cut off people that cause more harm than peace, who showed you how a proper friend should treat you. A first kiss, though left undiscussed. The many nights spent cramming in information before an important exam, getting drunk together and letting your hands wander because you trust each other. It’s all Yuta, and it always has been. You look for him in other people, in hopes of moving on but also easing the pain in your heart that is solely caused by the boy with the chubby cheeks.

Your eyes search for him everywhere.

Sadly, you even find the boy in Sana’s eyes. Her eyes emit warmth, a home inside a soul. You met Sana in highschool and love her the way you should’ve loved Yuta - she’s family, a sister, a best friend. She knows secrets you never even dared to think about in front of Yuta and treats them like treasures, a pirate taking his precious things to the grave. Trust is like gold to Minatozaki Sana, and the fact that you willingly give her your entire world is the greatest gift you could’ve ever given her. You can’t hate someone who is a part of you - Sana is you as much as you are her, one soul in two bodies. It’s a pity you got the half that Yuta would never desire.

Her fingertips are coarse; so unusual for the girl who looks like the definition of soft. At the end of every shift, you guys take turns massaging sore spots in your shoulders since both of you are too broke to pay for a professional massage inside a salon. You make do with what you have, at ten in the evening. There’s too many chores that are still unfinished, but the laziness is more powerful than your sense of duty. Whatever. Your manager has never complained about you staying longer to clean, so there’s no rush.

“You’re tenser than ever.” Sana sighs over the groan you let out when she hits a painful spot, her thumbs digging in to erase the knot she found. For someone who claims to possess no strength, her grip is pretty hard. “Have you been sleeping properly? You know I told you to stop pulling so many all-nighters... It’s not helping you.”

“I’m aware, mom. But my college degree isn’t earning itself.”

“Oh, shut up.” Her apron hits the empty barstool beside you before she moves to grab a rag to start wiping the counter. The artificial light usually creates an unpleasant ambiance, but it looks like moonlight when it hits Sana’s skin. So surreal, out of this world. The gods must have shaped her, there’s no other explanation. A perfect fit for Yuta. For a second, you contemplate how you managed to befriend the most precious people in the entire world. She rips you out off your train of thought, though. “Your grades are fine. You’re just throwing a hissy fit. Here’s a deal, either you start sleeping on time or I knock you out. How’s that sound?”

“Very pleasant,” you deadpan, and that’s the end of the discussion. She pinches your waist before moving along to put the chairs on the table. It’s always quiet in the evening, especially in this corner of the city. Every night at the same time, an old couple passes the window and waves at you, like the precious members of society they are. There’s a distinct routine that Sana and you established over the years, and you fall into it on instinct. The clean-up is quick as always. The bell on the door signals the end of your shift, and you step out into the cold night as Sana turns the key in its’ lock.

You guys are like two peas in a pond, to the point where traditions and habits have been assimilated together. It has now become a reflex to know what to do in any situation - while anyone else panics at your tears, Sana grabs a bottle of wine and a good movie. When the world turns blurry and the stress is the only thing Sana can see, you’re the first one to cook some spicy food and watch as she eats it, just to catch that special, grateful smile. Cogs working in clockwork. A perfect fit.

“How are things going with Taeyong?” Sana sounds neutral, but the cheeky undertone in her voice is evident to you. You know her better. “Drop it,” is the immediate answer you shoot back. Her laughter rings in your ears like a melody. You wish you would be able to dislike it.

“Hey, I just asked you a simple question. Is that forbidden too, now?”

“Yes. You’re not even allowed to say the T in Taeyong. Move along now, I want to go home and get some food in my stomach.”

Sana hums. “I heard Taeyong is a pretty great cook, too. Did you know that?”

You don’t answer her. Taeyong is nothing like the man that is truly inside your heart, and yet there’s no possible way to deny him. You’ve once told him over a bottle of whiskey about the feelings you harbor for his fellow band member, and yet he doesn’t let that deter him from his conquest of your heart. Taeyong knows unspoken secrets that neither Yuto nor Sana are even aware of, and that thought is strange to you. Taeyong isn’t connected to you like he is to Yuta. It’s barely been a year since you’ve properly gotten to know him. And yet, he coaxes things out of you that you wouldn’t even admit in your wildest dreams.

Lee Taeyong is dangerous. Point, blank, period. Still, you let him court you because he doesn’t mind the constant reminder that your heart belongs to Yuta. It even hurts to tell him that, because Taeyong has one of the most beautiful smiles you’ve ever seen. His heart is yours to take, even though you don’t want it. Just looking suffices, though. You threw one look inside and have yet to tear your eyes away, locked into a spell. Like looking at a car crash.

He claims that look is enough for him to keep trying. To you, it’s just torture for an innocent man who could have everyone if he wanted. Girls who are kinder, more selfless. Selfless enough to finally move on from a childhood crush and give him all he craves.

“Hello? Earth to (y/n)?” Your blonde companion waves a manicured hand infront of your face. “I didn’t mean to step on a landmine. I’m sorry, okay?”

The sigh you heave out is more alarming than intended. Meeting Sana’s eyes, you already know she’s got you figured out. Lying is useless now. “There’s no reason to be sorry,” you mumble, but it sounds half-hearted. “I just feel guilty about Taeyong. You know, since it’s unrequited and all.”

“I’m telling you, you’re missing out. I get that you want to focus on finishing college, but that boy could be heaven for you. I wish a boy would look at me like that. You deserve the world, (y/n).”

If only she knew.

Your shared apartment is freezing. Sana hurries to turn on the heater, while you finally get rid of jacket and work clothes. The walk to your room is quiet, accompanied only by the sound of Sana’s playlist starting to quietly reverbate through the apartment. Every nook and cranny is filled with a reminiscent thought, a story that only the owners of this apartments can recall. Despite your awkward predicament, you’ve always been thankful to have Sana.

Life is so much better with friends, especially those who see your entire being and decide to love it. No matter what comes with it, no matter how many disputes. It’s been a rocky road, but Sana and you have moved mountains to honor your friendship. You wouldn’t give her up for anything in the world. Especially not for a boy.

To your luck, you fall asleep just in time before Sana can scold you. Atleast in your dreams, everything is perfect.

— ❅ —

Though you claim that Taeyong is dangerous, you’ve always been someone who likes to play with fire. He looks like an artist’s dream-come-true, with sharp edges and soft doe eyes. Not even the dye in his hair can jarr the perfect image he creates, though he claims you’re just trying to make him blush by saying that. Your eyes may be locked on another man, but you’re not blind. Taeyong is as pretty as they come, with the kindest heart you’ve ever seen.

Since you reject an invitation to coffee and cake because you need to study, Taeyong climbs the many scary stairs up your fire escape so he can tumble through your open window. Accompanying his sweet grin is a bag of macarons and other pastries, which makes your stomach grumble embarrassingly loud.

“I thought you weren’t hungry.” Taeyong sets down the paperbag on your biology book, before he settles in the chair beside you and curiously peeks at your notes. You asked him once if he ever wanted to attend college, and he said that he had considered. He’s too in love with being an idol, though. It’s an attribute that connects him to Yuta - their ambition for the stage. Your best friend gave up soccer for it. You wonder what Taeyong has left behind to perform for the world.

You open your mouth to answer, but your stomach interrupts you again - now the blush settles on your cheeks, the very thing Taeyong had waited for. He laughs as you grab the paperpag, murmuring a “I’m not hungry” before stuffing your mouth with a lemon macaron. Normally, you’d offer him the other half, but it seems like you’re starving. “I thought I told you to rest today,” you say instead, eyes raking over his face. His hair is tinted red and white, like blood on snow. Beauty in controversy. “Since, you know, you’re like the most popular idol in the game right now and everything is pretty busy as it is.”

“Did you really think I’d miss the chance of finally being home alone with you?” Taeyong throws your legs over his lap and leans back - shirt riding up to reveal his defined tummy - and you avert your eyes. He’s already being tortured, you don’t have to make it worse by thirsting after him. But his statement opens up a gaping hole inside your stomach, so unsettling that your heart starts to clench. “He told you?” you ask dumbly. Of course Yuta had. Who hadn’t he told of the happiest moment in life, right after being accepted into SM? After months of pining, Yuta had finally been able to score a date with the Minatozaki Sana. Now the apartment lays empty, like a hollow tomb. For your dead heart, maybe. You realize that you’re being melodramatic, but it’s the only thing cheering you up right now and you have no wit left to make up for it.

Sana had accomplished what you never did. In a few weeks, those dates will evolve into a relationship, and it’ll finally be your turn to vomit out the cold limoncelli that burned the back of Yuta’s throat. It’s a tradition to down it after a heartbreak, one you guys kept up long after highschool. For the first time in ever, it’s going to be Yuta’s fault you’re drinking it. An Irish Wake for the girl who got away.

She had locked sickening in that dress. You sent Sana off with one of the most hurtful smiles you had ever been forced to put on, before all your tears ruined the sociology notes of today’s class.

You stuff your mouth with another macaron. “I should’ve known he’d tell the entire world,” you sighed. A warm hand covers your thigh in comfort, but it’s useless. A band-aid can’t help with a wound that’s located on the inside. “You know, Taeyong, maybe I’ll just change my name and move to Hawaii. I’d be a lot happier on Hawaii. Is there any way for me to like, legally get rid of my identity and disappear under mysterious circumstances?”

You hate the look of pity inside his eyes. It makes you lower you own gaze, reminds you of the sea of pain that you’re drowning in. It’s hard to stay afloat. You don’t need anybody to make it harder. “We could start with some mimosas, first,” Taeyong gently says. The gentleness banishes any kind of annoyance that had developed under his pitiful gaze, and he lets you climb into his lap, hides you away from the world in his embrace. Until you are ready to face it, ready to return to reality. The one where you’re an unaffected roommate who’s simply happy for their friends. “But I feel like I’ve barged in on enough Yuta-(y/n) traditions. So how about we grab some food?”

“I told you I have to study, Tae.”

“Bullshit. I think I’ve been watching you stare into the air for about five minutes before I even came in, you loser. Admit it, I’m doing you a favor.”

The punch you deliver to his chest does nothing to quiet down his little giggles. “You suck,” you growl as an answer, but stand up nonetheless to change into something more presentable. Taeyong respectfully turns away while you do, humming a melody under his breath. The pants you put on are only pulled over your hips before you halt in motion and watch in awe as the sun casts shadows over Taeyong’s face; his face contorting into art as his cat-like eyes slip closed. For some strange reason, Yuta’s words come to mind; about how photographers always gush at the leader’s photogenic features.

For a second, you ponder over this reality. The reality in which you stop clinging to a lover long lost and face a new one, something that could be good and healthy for you. As easy as breathing. It would be like spring, the end of an era, getting rid of the chains that held you back. You only have to accept him. Almost in trance, you take a step forwards, toward Taeyong and that warm reality - just to get a closer look at the artwork - before those chains rattle again. You’re a fool to think that you’d ever be able to discard of them. The freezing metal rips you out of Taeyong’s summer dream, back into the room that is filled to the brim with Yuta’s memories.

It’s far too late for you now. Silently, you finish changing and tap Taeyong’s shoulder as a signal that you’re ready to go. His smile hurts to look at, and he doesn’t even wait for permission before he interlocks your fingers and pulls you along. You wonder how he deals with the pain of rejection. It looks like nothing on him, but you feel like you’ve been poisoned, slowly rotting away. The guilt seems to crush you a little bit more now that you’ve got a taste of Taeyong’s experiences. “Wait,” you say, voice tiny. Feet skidding to a halt. Taeyong’s curiosity is as innocent as ever, and you feel bad for how hard it must be for him to look at you and know you’re never going to be his. “Tae, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be the one you want me to be... I....”

“Stop.” Taeyong’s voice is strangely calm. It soothes your many worries, enough for you to quiet down. He raises his hand as if to cup your face, but decides against it - dropping it again to cover both of your hands. Smile never leaving his lips. “(y/n), I knew what I was getting into. It’s me who’s selfishly accepting every slither of affection you even grant me.”

“But am I not hurting you?”

“Sweetheart.” Taeyong laughs, as if you had said something funny. His thumb traces your knuckles, once, twice, a habit that he picked up from you. This time, he confidently tugs a strand of hair behind your ear, still giggling when he speaks again. “We all suffer for love. How could I ever judge you when your pain is essentially mine?”

You think you understand. If you imagine the pain to be a heavy bundle, it’s easier to carry it together. In awe at his strength, you let your gaze wander over Taeyong’s face again as he starts blabbering about a new K-BBQ place he’s been wanting to visit. When you catch the train, you finally feel like the poison’s slowing down. It hasn’t spread through your entire body yet.

As always, Taeyong is the remedy to all your problems.

Sadly, he can’t protect you from the awful sight Sana and Yuta offer when you find them tucked in the booth of a restaurant you used to frequent with Yuta. It would’ve been too much to be happy for one afternoon atleast. Despite standing outside the glass windows, you can hear Sana’s melodious laughter in your mind when she dips her head down to quieten the soft sound; golden curls flying with every shake of her head. Your best friend is beaming at her, drink in hand long forgotten, and you tear your eyes away from the scene before your broken heart starts piercing your lungs.

If only you had recognized the citrine liquor sloshing against Yuta’s glass, for you would have noticed something was definitely going wrong. You don’t take notice of his drink, instead quickening your speed and forcing Taeyong to keep up with you. When you start rambling, your companion says nothing, opting to shoot back his own anecdotes to take off your mind of the thing that is evidently bothering you. For the entire evening, he doesn’t let go of your hand once, and you return home with your belly stuffed with delicious dinner and your heart patched up by your new favorite member of NCT.

— ❅ —

You pass your exams with flying colors.

The pride that fills you when you see the grade on the piece of paper almost makes it worth all the things you’ve endured the past few weeks, even though it had been increasingly difficult to keep up. Silently, you watched your pretty roommate leave your shared home more times when you would have liked to count, while you remained stuck inside your stuffy room. The only escape you had for a while were the fire escape outside your window(which had been making you nauseaous the first few times you sat on it, but Taeyong had insisted it was fine) and work, where Yuta only came to blab about his idol life or test your culinary skills. You never ask him about Sana, and he never spills. His quiet support during exam season was the only reason you could handle Sana’s nightly meets, and you clung to the few moments where you could call Yuta yours.

There had once been a time in highschool where studying had been much more fun. Every correct answer had earned you another piece of candy, which became so addicting that Yuta and you upped the stacks by making the other treat them to dinner if they had more correct answes by the end of the free period. What started as school work evolved into a competition, which in turn had led to your first kiss under the lights of Seoul’s summer festival, the roar of passerbys and the loud music booming through the streets accompanying that precious memory. You had been glad, so glad it was Yuta who had stolen away that first experience, because you know for a fact he would never waste it. You had bet him a ticket of the ferris wheel, since it was terribly expensive and pocket money was barely cutting it for you. Not only had he purchased the ticket, but also won you the biggest teddybear on the market. You couldn’t remember what instilled it, but seconds after the plushie was placed into your hands, Yuta had cradled your face and kissed you like his life depended on it.

Your first kiss was magical. The sweet taste of cherries and the unimaginable trace of love that Yuta had left on your tongue had made you feel alive, as if for the first time in your life, your heart finally started to beat. The blood rushing through yours veins was powered by fireworks and adoration for one single boy, the sweet boy who taught you how to ride your bike without your training wheels, made you cook takoyaki atleast twice a week, and bothered to create silly traditions and inside jokes like limoncelli or Hello Kitty band-aids, placed over Yuta’s nose after he got a soccer ball to the face.

That summer had been the summer Yuta was accepted into SM. You had never talked about the kiss again. But what a vivid memory it was! Like your personal, handmade movie, your own living piece of magic. You had never imagined love to be so powerful. But you understand it now, as you look into Yuta’s eyes and realize that all you had ever wanted for him in life was for him to be happy. And he was.

That was enough. The pain, the endurance, you’d do it all again. For Nakamoto Yuta, who reached for your hand and never had let go. Not for soccer, not for the industry, not even for the many people he had dated in the past. That must be worth something.

“You’ve been looking at me weirdly all day.” Yuta scrunches his nose in fake disgust, but his eyes are still crinkled from the pleasant smile that curved around his plush lips. His mom always says that he looks like a fox; it had been his halloween costume three years in a row. Right now, he looks just like that. Coy and dangerous and in the wait. “You trying to pick a fight or what? Because I’ve got all day, and a little wrestling never hurt anybody.”

“So what, I’m not even allowed to watch now?”

Yuta winks before you realize the extent of your words. Cringing, you turn away, but not before seeing the laughter burst out of him, the sound addicting as always. “Don’t get weird with me now, Nakamoto,” you warn him, sliding off your soft bed to close the window. The cool wind was enjoyable, but it kept messing up your many exercise sheets that still needed to be sorted out before september came. Next time around this year, you’ll finally have finished your degree and would return to a proper working life. What an adventure that would be. “Are you planning to camp in here for the rest of your life or are you going to leave eventually? Because I actually got plans and I’m not afraid of kicking you out.”

It was already strange to you that Yuta was sitting here, and not in the living room with Sana. To your knowledge, they were still dating, and the reminder still stung. But no, your childhood best friend remains seated where he is, wrapped in your favorite blanket that you bought on a family trip to Osaka. Another memory that ties him to this place. Your parents had offered to surprise him since you guys were always seperated during summer vacation, and they had always wanted to go to Japan. You learned how to fish there. Weirdly, you kinda miss sitting on the cold river banks while your father tries to explain how to properly kill a fish.

Yuta clutches his chest in faux pain, dramatic as always. “So mean,” he whines. “Here I am making time for my best friend in the entire world, and it is not even appreciated. I’m kicked out, even! Tell me, what has happened to justice? Is it not first come, first serve anymore?”

“First of all - I’m your only best friend.”

“That doesn’t matter.” He nonchalantly waves you off, like someone would an annoying fly. “I still love you the most out of all of my friends, so it’s different. Pick up a book once in a while, (y/n).”

You try to shake off the pain that one single word had incurred in you, but it’s so unbearable. It makes you want to scream. Your life would be so much easier if Yuta truly loved you and you’d be able to tell him aeons worth of confessions, of how you found heaven in his soul and salvation is his heart. It sits on the tip of your tongue, a heavy burden to carry for someone who’s as frail of you, but you only tell him: “It is first come, first serve. Taeyong has been planning to take me out after my exams for a while now, while you were out being lovey-dovey with a certain roommate.” You raise an eyebrow at his awkward expression. A fox in the trap. “So much for loving me most, oh best friend.”

On any other circumstance, he would’ve jumped at the opportunity to argue. Yuta is very clingy, and very affectionate. You’ve seen his band members on the receiving end of it, and are glad that they atleast don’t suffer his temper tantrums whenever someone challenges the position of ‘best friend’. Today though, he nitpicks: “You have plans with Taeyong?”

You blink. “Yeah, I guess. I told you we guys got closer in the past few months.”

Yuta’s hand feels more heavier in yours than Taeyong’s did. He pulls you onto the bed again, hands latching to your waist to hold you close, treating you like a personal teddybear. It doesn’t take long before your back is pressed against his chest while he rests his head on your shoulder. “How close, exactly?” he grumbles, childish annoyance peaking through his voice. “You’re not giving him all my Hello Kitty band-aids, are you?”

“Are you accusing me of treason?”

“Maybe so.”

You try to escape his death grip, but ultimately fail. God damn those muscles. “Get out of my room, traitor. I would never ever give away the holy Hello Kitty band-aids.”

“Hmm.” Yuta loosens his hold, and you suck in the breath you so desperately needed. Do you look like a ragdoll or what? “I suppose it’s alright then. When are you getting back?”

“Who are you, my father?” You smack his thigh in retaliation for him caging you in, but your friend only laughs it off. A pinch to your waist makes you jump away from him. “Since when do I need permission from you to come and go?” you complain then. Never once had Yuta been so protective because of a boy than now. It made you wonder what was going on with him. He only shrugs, not offering a explanation. With a last grin, he falls back into the mattress and crosses his arms behind his head, as if the room belonged to him. Ass. “Be back before twelve,” the man only hums.

When you leave Yuta in your room(although with a heavy heart, since you’re sure he’ll join Sana in the living room after you leave), he offers you his cheek as a goodbye. You freeze in place, since this is the first time since sixth grade you sent him off with a kiss to the cheek. Nonetheless, you bow down to do him the favor, his warm hand keeping you in place for a few moments longer, before he lets go of your waist and gifts you a smile that seems rather melancholic. You almost stay.

Almost. You’d rather choke than watch him lock lips with your only female best friend.

“What are you doing on saturday?” Taeyong asks you after offering you a bottle of soju, abandoning your side to place the fluffy picnic blanket over the grass. Han River glistens golden in the light of the sun, a honeyed mirror of the world. It’s almost tragic that life is so heartstrickenly beautiful, no matter what the circumstances are. You suppose that’s what makes it so beautiful. A few moments later, Taeyong has tugged you down so he can rest his head in your lap. With a happy sigh, he closes his eyes and soaks in the last warmth the day has to offer, as always ressembling a statue.

“Nothing, I think,” you tell him. The soju is sweet, easy on the throat. A stark contrast to the Yuta-(y/n) tradition. You don’t have the heart to tell Taeyong that the festival starts on friday, since it’s evident that Yuta is going to take Sana and not you. The magic spell from that fairy-tale kiss had long worn off. This is the real world. “Not until now, since you’re taking me out, I’m deducing?”

“Absolutely correct. No wonder you passed your exams, you’re so clever!”

“I feel belittled.”

Taeyong laughs. The sound rumbles through his chest, as harmonious as the lyrical verses he creates and incorperates into songs. “It wasn’t meant to be,” he promises, hand reaching for your own. His fingertips are cold from the bottle he had held for you until you reached the riverbank. “I’m very proud of you for passing your exams. You did exceptionally well, even though I mothered you so much.”

“Thank you.” Your answer was demure, but it came from the bottom of your heart. Taeyong had been an important emotional crutch, and he had even fulfilled your promise of seeing someone else so he could move on from you. Even though he does, he vows to be a friend for life like Yuta is. It’s so different from the Osaka prince, but Taeyong has truely gotten to the point where he became vital for you, in another way than Yuta is, but how Yuta should have been. He hasn’t told you the name of the secret lady, though. “You think I’ll get my degree?”

“A hundred percent.” A tight squeeze is reassurance enough for you, and Taeyong’s face contorts into a happy grimace when you squish his cheeks. “Thank you,” you say again. “You’re the best friend in the entire world, Taeyong. Really. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“If you want me to live, never say this in front of Yuta.”

“Sure thing.”

You’re not the only people bathing in the evening light, as the riverbank is crowded with families and friends all alike. Their joyous laughter takes you to a time where breathing had been a little easier, a little freer. Where your heartbeat didn’t resonate through broken shards. You’ve come to realize, though, that you wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

Not if it meant Yuta.

— ❅ —

[08:26pm] yuta-chan ♡: do you think you could meet me at 9 at the ferris wheel? i have to leave for japan after that.

[08:29pm] (y/n): so that little cuddle fest in the kitchen today didn’t mean goodbye already?

[08:29pm] (y/n): that was embarrassing to do in front of taeyong, by the way.

[08:30pm] yuta-chan ♡: he can handle a little pda. i came first, you know.

[08:31pm] (y/n): i don’t think i’ll be able to make it, yuta. i’m out with taeyong.

[08:31pm] yuta-chan ♡: boo, you whore.

[08:31pm] yuta-chan ♡: can you please atleast try? for me?

[08:32pm] (y/n): yuta... ✓

[08:32pm] (y/n): are you serious? you lose service now?? ✓

calling yuta-chan ♡...

[08:34pm] (y/n): yuta, i cant just leave ty!! pls come back online 😭. ✓

Sighing loudly, you slam your forehead down onto your phone. The line infront of you was getting shorter and shorter, and the tickets to your movie were already purchased. What was so damn important for Yuta to want you to meet him at nine? Even if you went now, you don’t think you could be there on time. Taeyong watches curiously as you pound more messages into the device, only for you to whine since they aren’t getting through. “For God’s sake! I’m gonna kill him!”

“What did Yuta do now?” Taeyong sounds way too amused for your own liking.

Angrily, you try to call your best friend again, but to no avail. Apparently, Yuta had chucked his phone away after ominously telling you to meet him at the festival. That stupid festival, and the stupid emotional value it came with for you. “He wants me to meet him at the ferris wheel in twenty minutes!” you shout then, exasperated. The loud volume of your despair brings you a few nasty glances from the people standing in queue, but you cannot bring yourself to care right now. “And he knows exactly I’m out with you right now. I can’t just drop everything and go just because he wants me to! He didn’t even tell me why!”

“Just go, (y/n).” Taeyong pinches your cheek. The gesture would have been adorable if you weren’t so annoyed right now. “It’s just a movie, and we can just rewatch it - I’ll just call someone else.”

“No, I don’t want to.” You stuff your phone back into your pocket. You can’t come back running to Yuta, just because you love him. Being at his beck and call will just ruin you, as it always has over the many years you had been spent motionless at his side, too cowardly to step forward. The allure of velleity stops here. You have to break free of your curse now, or you’ll never be able to. “I’m sure it’s fine. I bet he just wants help with Sana or something, it’s not like he can’t do it on his own. He’s a grown man.”

“(y/n), it’s not about Sana.” Taeyong’s eyes turn serious now, shaking at your resolutement. “I think you should go.”

“Trust me, Tae, I know him. He’s just panicking because he has to leave Sana behind for a few months because he’s never dated someone over long distance, even though it’s not forever. I’m going to finally move on and accept that Yuta and I are never going to be.”

“He’s not dating Sana, (y/n)!” You squeak when Taeyoung abruptly turns to you to shake your shoulders, so unusual for the calm man he usually is. Your second mom, as you lovingly called him. “I am. They stopped dating a long time ago because Yuta explained he wasn’t into her, he was into you. He was trying to move on and failed! Do you understand, (y/n)? Nakamoto Yuta is in love with you!”

You gape at Taeyong like a fish out of water. For a few seconds, which feel like centuries, you’re so speechless you forget the urgency of the situation. Your brain can’t register everything at once, despite the fact that you just received the biggest news of your life, so it latches on to the most logical one at hand. “You’re dating Sana?” you repeat in utter shock, rumbled to the core. “When the hell were you planning to tell me?”

“I’d love to tell you more about my secret romance but I’m afraid if you stand here any longer, you’re going to miss out on your last chance to ever confess your feelings to Yuta ever again!”

The veil drops. In a matter of seconds, nothing in this world made sense but Yuta, because why wouldn’t it? Your best friend, the love of your life - suddenly growing overprotective and so hellbent on PDA, the long, sad gazes that seemed to trail after you that you had interpreted as pouting because you were neglecting your friendship. All of it falls into place, and awakens one instinct that has been buried deep inside you for years now, unused and unpolished ever since Yuta left the soccerfields behind.

Whenever the team had won, it was a race about who could tackle Yuta first. Yuta, the star player, dubbed score god by his teammates as he keeps carrying them to the win. You had learnt pretty quickly to leave your friends behind in the dust just to reach him in time, to fall in the arms that had always been waiting for you and you only. You barely remember the few occassions where Johnny had in fact been faster than you were, just for Yuta to avoid him so he could embrace you and whirl you through the air like some kind of doll. The sound of victory, the heavy pattering of a heart that is so familiar that you that it seems like your own. Now, it comes back to life - you barely remember placing the ticket into Taeyong’s hands as you stumble around and push past all the people, in direction of the main festivities. Your legs are light, lighter than the wind and the air as you run like you were running for your life, heartbeat hammering in your ears. Was it your own, or Yuta’s, the melody that has been accompanying all your life? No time to wonder as you pick up speed and pray, pray for any god willing to listen for Yuta to wait.

How could you be so silly and let him leave before telling you goodbye at the ferris wheel? Was it not another one of your silly traditions, like that disgusting alcohol and the awful takoyaki you had made in the first weeks of learning how to cook? The sweaty jerseys that were always exchanged to show your support at his games? The whispered promises, the untold ones, was it not always there? You feel blind, so blind - and so stupid! How could you not have noticed the ways Yuta’s gaze had stopped trailing after your roommate? Was it not you who left him in that bedroom and never saw him join Sana in the living room, crawling into the bed beside him when you returned like he hadn’t ever moved? Was it not you who had taken up all his time?

The festival is as stuffy as ever, as well-visited as ever. It is 09:08pm and you fear for your life, for your heart, because it’s with Nakamoto Yuta and he is about to leave with it forever. You fall onto your face a few times and scrape your knees bloodly, but you keep walking, praying.

No one familiar is standing in front of the ferris wheel.

This must be karma. It truly is, fate paying you back just in time for you to cripple in metaphoric debt. For years, you had prided yourself with knowing Yuta best, your favorite book, one you’d read for the rest of your life. Now, when you finally break out from the spot you were frozen in, it is already too late.

Atleast that’s what you think for ten long seconds.

There’s a warm hand who pulls you back, the hand that has been guiding you all your life. Late-night walks back home, your first time in Osaka. Han River’s riverbank and the streets of the city when the festival lights lit everything up. Yuta’s beaming smile goes straight to your heavy heart, and it soars in happiness as he hugs you and whispers: “You came back for me!”

“I did, you big idiot!” Without second thought, you jump into his embrace and throw both arms around his shoulders. You are right where you’re supposed to be. You’re home, you’re home, you’re home. While the salty tears of relief blur up your sight of the buzzing marketplace around you, loud, sincere laughter pearls from your lips. It’s a hymn of joy, your unofficial serenade to the man of your dreams. “I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here.” Yuta pulls back to cradle your face, something he had never done so carefully except that one time, almost seven years ago. “You’re here with me,” he says then, almost in disbelief. There’s a moment of silence where the magic of your teenage days returns, spell-bound, and just a second later, Yuta’s warm body finally crashes against yours as familiar lips cover your own. Of course he tastes like limoncelli, but below that, he tastes of precious memories and secret thoughts, the silent adoration that was never one-sided. His fingers trace your jawline while you tousle his hair, both mapping out each other as you imprint it into memory.

You are unconditionally, irrevoceably in love with Nakamoto Yuta. You tell him that when he finally lets go of you, and he repeats it back, as many times as he can. Confessions and explanations are exchanged, but nothing really matters except the fact that you managed to jump back in time and finally fulfill your chance. You finally made your move.

“I don’t think I can let you go to Japan yet,” you tell him then, several minutes later, while you stand in line to the ferris wheel, even though he should be long gone by now. There’s a flight to Tokyo going in two hours, and yet he’s still here. Clinging to your hand like you’re going to disappear if he looks away. Love-stricken eyes that make your knees go weak. “You owe me some explanations.”

Yuta pulls you closer with the arm he keeps hooked around your waist, bright smile never leaving his lips. “We’ll have plenty of time up there to spill,” he responds and kisses the tip of your nose. He smells like home. Like forever and beyond. “I love you. I’ll give you the rest of my life in exchange for just one evening with you.”

No, one evening wasn’t enough. You’d give Yuta eternity in exchange for his heart, but let’s just start with today. In celebration of being inclined to move. For two hearts who were lost at sea, meeting again after what they thought would be never ever. He’s definitely going to miss that flight, though.

[softyn]

Ethereal | Lee Donghyuk

Requested by anon: Could you do a haechan angst where he pretends to hate you because he doesn’t know how to express his feelings but one day he takes it too far and you leave and end up getting in an accident and he finds out and it ends in fluff??? Your a great writer 💞💞

Words: +1.7K

Genre: angst to fluff + Enemies to lovers! Au

Warnings: Haechan being really rude, some bad words and a minor accident.

A/n: Okaaay so,,,,, I don’t know how to feel about this lmao, I hope you like it!!!!

-Mai.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

“Hey y/n, wanna come to the dorms?” Your best friend, Renjun, asked.

You knew him since he was 5, in kindergarten, thanks to a book about dinosaurs you had, he, as passionate towards the dinosaurs as you were, began to talk to you and from that day you are inseparable.

You did everything together, both the good and the bad.

Your name was always followed by his, and his name was always followed by yours.

When he told you that he passed the auditions of SM, you felt really scared, you were afraid that he would be closer to his group than you and forget you, but that didn’t happen, when he debuted, quickly, he introduced you to the rest of the members and since you got along with all of them, he usually invited you to the dorms.

“Haechan won’t be there.” He said.

Except for Haechan, for some reason he seemed to hate you and you didn’t know why.

At first, his words and actions really affected you since you had a slight crush on him but the most you tried to make him see that you wasn’t that bad, the worse he treated you, so you ended up hating him too.

“I don’t mind if your friend is there, you know that I don’t pay attention to him.” You said.

“So.. you are coming? He asked.

“Yeah, why not?”

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You laughed loudly at Chenle’s joke, almost crying.

“Hey guys! You won’t believe what Haechan has just told me!” Mark shouted, entering in the dorms with a big smile that faded when he saw you sitting in the armrest, next to the rest of the boys.

Haechan entered after Mark, and when he saw you, he huffed, making you roll your eyes.

Mark looked at Haechan with the corner of his eyes, and then, he looked at you again.

“Hey y/n! It’s been a while since the last time I saw you!” He greeted and hugged you.

You hugged him back, smiling at Haechan, who made a disgust face and rolled his eyes. “It has been! How are you?” You asked.

“Oh, really tired and busy, you know, the usual.” He said and you giggled.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you tell me that you work with batteries.” You joked and they all laughed, except for Haechan.

“Tsk.” He muttered and went to his room.

“What’s wrong with him?” You asked.

The boys, who were looking at the direction where Haechan disappeared, shrugged their shoulders. No one really knew why Haechan hated you that much even though they asked him millions times.

The rest of the day just went as usual, you tried to spent a good time with the dreamies but Haechan’s voice was always there, criticizing every single thing you did and say.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

“Renjun, are you that it’s okay if I go to your dance practise? I not that close with your hyungs.” You said, after he invited you to come to see them practising.

“Don’t worry, you will love them, they are all really nice.” He answered.

You nodded, still not too convinced.

"Believe me, you will love them, Lucas hyung is really loud and funny, you will laugh a lot, and Winwin hyung is really nice too, you will get along with him really quick." He said.

You entered in the practise room, and soon, 20 pairs of eyes were looking at the both of you.

"What are you doing here?" Haechan complained.

You looked at him with disgust. "I came here just to see my friends, not you, so please, ignore me, thanks." You said.

"Your friends?" He laughed. "Sweetheart, no one can stand you." He said.

"The fact that you hate me does not mean that everyone does it, egocentric." You fight back.

"You are ALWAYS at our dorms, being loud and annoying as fuck, don't make me laugh, we just want to rest and we can't because the little princess is bored and needs to have the attention of all the boys, of course they hate you, you don’t let us live our lives." He spatted.

You were taken aback by his words, he never talked you like that, he always called you annoying and things like that, but he never took his words this far.

You looked at the rest of the boys, some of them were whispering between them, since they didn’t know you, some other looked at you with sadness and others didn’t even dare to look at you.

You started to blush because of embarrassment and started to stutter.

You couldn’t face any of the boys so look at your feet was a good option. You really thought that they didn’t mind having you there, but you guess you were wrong.

“Y/n-” Renjun finally talked, but you interrupted him.

“I told you that it wasn’t a good idea Renjun.” You whispered and left the room.

While you left the building, you could hear Renjun yelling at Haechan.

Of course Renjun was the only one who was okay with having you around, you should have thought about that before.

You were so immersed in your own thoughts that, when you walked through the crosswalk, you did not notice the car approaching at high speed towards you.

“Y/N!” You heard Renjun’s voice shout.

You looked up and two spotlights dazzled you, and soon, everything went black.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You opened your eyes but a white light dazzled you, making you close your eyes again.

But suddenly, all the memories hit your head.

It was all blurred, but you remembered that after being hit by the car, a lot of people started to scream and call for the ambulance, you couldn’t move no matter how hard you tried, until you started to feel really sleepy.

“Y/N! OH MY GOD Y/N!” Renjun ran to you and hugged you. “Please don’t close your eyes, stay with me.” He cried.

“I just want to sleep Renjun.” You said, your voice cracking.

“You can go to sleep later, but you have to stay with me now, okay? We still have to go to watch that movie you wanted to.” He said.

“My head really hurts, please Renjun, let me go to sleep, please, please.” You started to cry.

“I know buddy, I know that you are sleepy, but you can’t go to sleep now, okay? You have a little wound in your head, but it’s nothing that a band aid can’t do.” He lied. 

The wound wasn’t little at all, he knew that you would need stitches, but of course, he wouldn’t say that.

Johnny joined Renjun, they tried his best to don’t let you fall asleep, you could not lose consciousness.

Suddenly, you started to hear a loud sob and soon, Haechan appeared in your blurred vision.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He whispered while he cried, kneeling by your side.

He tried to touch you but you moved away with the few strengths that you had left.

Haechan started to cry louder, he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing, your cheerful and loud usual was nothing like that now, your clothes were all scratched and dirty, you had a really ugly wound in your forehead and your leg didn’t look too good either.

And it was all his fault.

He knew that you were someone ethereal, but he still, decided to break you with his words.

He tried to talk to you again, but he noticed that you finally fell asleep despite Johnny's continuous shaking and Renjun's screams.

You opened your eyes again, trying to evade all the previous events.

You scanned the room, it was really clean and bright, with the typical smell of hospital.

“Y-Y/n?” The boy, who was at your side, surprised, said when he saw you opened your eyes.

He started to cry again, relieved that you finally were awake.

He took your hand, in show of affection and you let him hold it.

“Where’s Renjun?” You asked.

“Please, let me stay, when the nurse said that only one person could stay with you, we almost rip each other’s neck until I finally could stay with you.”

“And why did you want to stay with me? I thought that you hated me.” You said..

“I wanted to say sorry-”

“You weren’t the one who hit me.” You sad.

“No, I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, for how I treated and all the things I told you before the accident, they weren’t true.” He said.

“Wow, I had to be hit by a car for you to realize what an asshole are you?” You said with irony.

“Please, forgive me.” He said.

You stayed in silence, you did not blame him for the accident, of course, but his words really hurt you, since the first til the last, even if you acted like you didn’t mind them.

“Any of the things I told you were true, I-I, I don’t even know wh-why I acted like that.” He explained.

You decided to stay in silence, hearing all what he had to say.

“I don’t even hate you, Gosh, it's the opposite.” He said and you frowned your eyebrows.

“What?” You asked.

“The truth is that I actually like you since the first day I saw you but I needed to get rid of these feelings so I started to act cold and distant, and when I realized that it wasn’t working, I already was treating you like shit and I couldn’t stop it.” He explained.

Your mouth was wide open, trying to process all what he said.

“I know, it was stupid of me.” He said.

“Stupid? Donghyuk why the fuck did you do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know I... I am stupid, I don’t have any excuse.” He said.

You shook your head in disbelief, feeling a bit angry about the fact that he treated you like shit just because he didn’t know how to express his feelings.

“So please, forgive me, please, please.” He begged.

“Okay, I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean that we are best friends now, you really made me fell bad, even if I acted like you didn’t have an effect over me.

He smiles slightly and nodded, understanding your decision.

He sat in the chair next to your bed and hold your hand again.

“How about if I take you out to eat when you leave the hospital? To compensate for everything I have done.” He said.

“Just as friends, of course.” He added with a smile.

“Yeah, as friends.” You smiled with a little smile.

// Masterlist //

[restlessmaknae]

Paradox [pt.1]

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Word count: 541

Genre: angst, drama, a bit of fluff

Pairing: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan); Yu Dayoung (OC)

Setting: non AU

Warning: mentions of character death, suicide, hints of depression

Chapter warning: mentions of suicide

They were so young, so talented yet so desperate.

Lover’s Paradox (Hedgehog’s dilemma)

A metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur, for reasons they cannot avoid.

 Former YG trainee tries to commit suicide

A 17-year-old former YG trainee reportedly attempted suicide Tuesday night by jumping off the roof of the entertainment building, injuring her spine and knees, police said.

The female, who was not identified, was transported to Gangnam Yonsei Sarang Hospital, said Seoul Metropolitan Police spokeswoman Kim Jiyoung.

The police are still investigating as there was no indication that she was pushed. The condition of the girl is still unknown and the entertainment company has not yet made an official statement regarding her case.

 There were times when I believed it would work out. It turned out that I was wrong. I was only chasing a fantasy out of my reach. Life is not a dream, after all. I had to learn the hard way.

It was in the midst of studying, promoting and getting ready for the winter season when Lee Donghyuck met Yu Dayoung.

Dayoung means many flower; it also means that the baby who was given the name will have a bright and beautiful future.

As the name suggests, she was indeed an elegant, feminine and graceful creature. She was the kind who never once left him with a bittersweet aftertaste. Instead, she made sure that the traces of her gummy smile, angelic voice and heaven-like laughter stayed with him until they met again. And again and again. Although it was an unsaid rule, they knew they shouldn’t do this.

They shouldn’t have met at the break of dawn, whispering wishes into the chilly air, watching as the first ray of sunshine buries the city with its tangerine blanket, hiding the clues that they had ever been there. They shouldn’t have watched the starry sky after hours of sweating and struggling at the practice room, letting out silent screams and cries. They shouldn’t have drawn childish figures on the other one’s arm like they were elementary kids. They shouldn’t have worked on their school assignments together, interrupted by little storytelling times and tickle fights. They shouldn’t but they did it anyway.

Such young kids who don’t know much about love, people muttered under their breath. Yet, none of them tried to stop them. They had to sacrifice so much, even until the time when they met for the first time and they still had a lot to sacrifice. Their relationship was considered as young love, nothing else. The kind of bond that will eventually fade away with time, losing its innocence, playfulness and blissfulness.

Who knew that it would last until now? That it would bear such hardships?

Their story is made up of thorny roads and flowery meadows; it’s full of tears and giggles; joy and pain; love and hate.

It’s all a twistedly beautiful paradox.

[fullsunalicia]

graduation day — PJS

relationships are nothing but trouble - that‘s the conclusion you came to end of junior year, making yourself the promise to stay out of trouble until you reach university. under no circumstance can jisung allow that! after all, park jisung has loved you long before he even knew what magic you entangled his heart with. he has until graduation day to change your mind, where your paths will diverge forever.

mixed au - highschool au, but jisung is still an idol! [also, i recommend listening to steal my girl by one direction while reading this. 10/10 experience, ngl LMAO]

Jisung knows next to nothing about love, he realizes the first time he sees you crying on the bleachers.

There are countless of movies he has been forced to watch by not only you, but also Chenle, who has a weak spot for romcoms. Cheesy pick-up lines and dramatic kisses in the rain, which only confuse Jisung further. Why would anyone ever fall for some senseless pun that contains no feeling whatsoever? That’s just dumb. But when Jisung looks at you and his heart starts to pound like crazy, he understands that there are some mechanisms to love he doesn‘t understand. He says mechanism, because otherwise that poor boy will never comprehend how you managed to conquer him, heart and soul - and you never even looked properly at him, not in the way he yearns for you to do so.

Jisung was a witness to lots of your dates, if not your first one. The memory of your ashamed blush is engraved into his mind, locked away in some corner in his heart where he built an altar for you. He remembers the soft skirt and how you had hit his fingers when he had tugged at it; the way it had felt beneath his fingers. Soft, unknown. Little (y/n) had never liked wearing skirts, but now just to impress that one boy, she exchanged comfy mom jeans for a satin cloth that barely reached her knees. You had looked beautiful, so beautiful. He also remembers the twinge of pain it had inflicted on him to watch you go, a sudden stab into his heart that you had never intended. What wouldn’t he have given to be in that guy’s place!

Heartbreak is foreign to him. That‘s the one and only advantage to being on the giving end of the unrequited love; you will never stomp on his heart like others had done to you, because you‘re unaware of it lying to your feet. He‘d give it to you all - his world, his entire being. Jisung has fallen in love with you repeatedly, in a course of four years more times than he can count. It’s a spell that has proven itself to be unbreakable, the song of a siren singing for an audience she isn’t aware of.

So when he sits down beside you, the atmosphere turns quite awkward. He‘s never learnt how to soothe a crying girl, especially when she‘s crying over another boy. Typically, you tend to avoid tearing up in front of him like that. That‘s why Jisung never had to deal with it. His instinct are his only guide, and he hopes it’s the right thing to do. Familiar arms wrap around your tiny, sorrow-wrecked frame and pin you against his side, a bit too tight for your liking. Jisung‘s scent washes over you like a wave of comfort, and the startled boy almost dies from shock when you suddenly jump into his arms and hold him even tighter. Like an anchor in the angry sea, you cling to him in hopes of not drowning.

Jisung supposes it’s the same feeling he experiences when he lies awake at night, whispering your name into the dark. Like a mantra, a prayer. There’s so many things he’d like to tell you, yet the only one who hears them are the stuffed bears he keeps in his closet because he deems them too childish to leave them on his bed. Sighing softly, he leans his head against yours, fingers tracing your lashline to catch your tears, which remind him of falling stars. Burning to ashes, dying in a bright light. “It’s okay,” he whispers, helpless. His heart aches to lift your pain, that supernova your ex left behind.

You shake like a leaf in the wind in his hold, though you never move away. Guilt pools in Jisung’s stomach at the way his heart skips, a guilty pleasure he can never quite deny. Physical affection is rare from you, which is why Jisung feeds on it like a starved man. Though your next words hurt more than any rejection you could have ever delivered.

“I’ll never fall in love again.”

— ☾ —

Jisung is three milkshakes in before Chenle shakes him out of his heartache with an annoyed flick to the forehead. It’s Saturday evening, and Chenle would be out clubbing if it weren’t for his best friend. Ever since the older boy reached the legal drinking age, he quite literally lets himself be dragged along every time Jaemin or Hyuck lure him to a house party.

Jisung isn’t old enough yet. That’s why he’s slurping milkshakes, not soju.

“I don’t know what the problem is. You can just ask her on a date, problem fixed.” Chenle grabs the glass Jisung is clutching to take a sip himself, a satisfied hum rumbling through his throat when he tastes the chocolate milk. The diner is barely filled, since rush hour has just ended a few hours ago. The owner is cleaning the counter, keeping an eye on the football players sitting a few tables away from the two best friends. One of them is your precious ex boyfriend, Lee Felix. Two years older than Jisung, but shorter - the only thing he can even boast about since Felix is the perfect guy. It’s no wonder the girls call them their dream boyfriend.

You and Felix started dating a year ago, just to have your heart broken by him on prom night. Well, his prom night. Jisung can’t wait for Felix to finally get out of this school and never bother you again. There’s just one thing - one thing that has been bothering him from the start.

What does Felix have that he doesn’t?

When Jisung shifts his attention back to Chenle again, the chinese boy is already looking at him with raised brows. Clearly, he has no idea about the inner turmoil inside his best friend’s heart. Jisung breathes out audibly and rubs his eyes, already tired from this day, this week, this year. It’s september, and the clock is racing against him. He only has nine months to make you change your mind. “It’s not thay easy,” Jisung explains, voice tiny, eyes still zeroed in on Felix as mentioned boy throws back his head and laughs.

If only that stupid good-for-nothing knew what a perfect girl he threw away. If he had a brain, he’d come back crawling and beg you to take him back. But Jisung’s not gonna tell him that - he needs all the attention of you he can get, so that his plan works. Hopefully.

That’s why a few days later Jisung lets you paint his nails with clear nail polish. Just because you’re bored, and need to be entertained. If it were any other person asking him, Jisung would’ve said no. But because it’s you, he gives you his hand without even thinking about it, gaze fixated on your face, free from any flaw. He knows that something like a perfect human being doesn’t exist, but you come pretty close, close enough to be his definition of perfect. Queen of his heart, ruling over a kingdom you never even saw. You look so cute though - lips jutted into a pout, concentrated on not messing up, even though there’s a drop here and there you acidentally smear on his skin instead of on his nails. No matter; he’d let you do everything with him.

That’s beyong embarrassing to admit, though there’s no use denying it. Park Jisung is head over heels.

For half an hour, he’s been trying to think of a way to ask you about your wellbeing. A blind man could see that you’ve still been crying, but no one is allowed to lend you their shoulder. Putting on a strong facade and squaring your shoulders, you act like everything is fine. But he can feel your pain as if it were his, and if he could, he’d reach inside and set fire to the loose ends still connecting you to your first love. Rearrange the knots around Felix’s throat and pull. A very gruesome thought, quite bravely expressed for someone who can’t even look Felix in the eyes even though they’re taller.

“Stop staring at me already. You’re making me feel self-conscious.”

Jisung blushes. He hadn’t even noticed that his gaze had never moved. “I’m not staring, idiot,” he retorts, throat dry. “There’s quite literally nowhere to look. You’re still painting my nails, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You sigh loudly, and move back to let the polish dry. Not that it makes any difference, since it’s colorless, only applied to keep you busy. Jisung is sick of rewatching disney movies and you’re too lazy to go out, so this is the compromise you guys came to. You haven’t let go of his hand yet. The touch burns, so pleasant it makes Jisung want to play with fire. You’re an inferno, blazing bright enough to chase away all the shadows casted around his heart. Weirdly, Jisung now has ‘teenage dream’ by Katy Perry stuck in his head. “Does it still hurt?”

“Huh?”

You blink. “Your head, dumbass.” You let go of his hand - sadly - to pull him down by the shoulders and inspect the back of his head, as if you’d find an open wound there. He remembers now, having fallen down his skateboard hours earlier as he tried a new trick. Chenle had spent half an hour laughing at him. “Does it still hurt?”

You’re so close, too close. If Jisung leant forward now, he could leave a kiss on your neck, watch the blush explode in your cheeks. You always do that when you are shy. In another world, where Jisung was braver, he surely would have done that. Instead, he dryly replies: “No. I already told you that.”

You roll your eyes at the retort. Leaning back, Jisung watches the soft slope of your throat as you throw your head back and look at the press-on stars Chenle had put on your ceiling for you, when you were still afraid of the dark and the monsters under your bed. Times were so good back then, because Jisung was always allowed to stay over and sleep with you in your bed so you could slip into dream world fearless. Those stars stole Jisung’s job of safeguarding you at night. Once in sixth grade, he had even tried to rip them off, but didn’t in fear of you growing upset with him.

Sharing a bed seems much more intimate now. He can’t even imagine how beautiful you must look in the silvery light of the full moon, though you always look stunning. You look the prettiest when you’re happy. Despite that, there’s also an artistic beauty in the way you look when you’re crying, as tears cling to your lashes and your frame grows tinier, weaker. Park Jisung could spend hours looking at you.

You’re finally blushing now. “You’re still doing it,” you mumble, turning your pretty face away. Jisung snickers. Do you even know how entrancing you are? “What are you gonna do about it?” he asks you, and watches as the mischievous glint returns to your eyes, two deep seas. Silent and dangerous.

Your answer is a tackle, sudden enough for Jisung to fall back shocked. At the sound of your loud laughter his heart jumps, painful and perfect at the same time. His hands move on reflex to cup your waist as you straddle his stomach and pinch his cheeks. If he wasn’t so in love, he’d bite your fingers off for that. “If you’re gonna keep looking, Park, it’s gonna cost you,” you threaten, though you don’t sound very convincing at all. The pressure on his cheeks subsides as you thumb over his cheek bones, silently humming a melody. Jisung doesn’t recognize it. He’s still struggling to understand the melody of your heart, is still tuning his radio. He’s gonna get there. One day, he’ll be able to tell you about the fairy tales and magic you create inside him. “I accept cash, but food is fine, too.”

Senior year, 273 days of school filled with exams and stress. That’s all Jisung has.

— ☾ —

“Is that a love letter?”

“Choi Yerim!” you hiss, already lunging at your best friend who swiftly moves out of your way. Between her fingers she’s clutching an expensive piece of paper - you recognize it, have seen Huang Renjun use it. The painter only uses the best tools. “Give that back right now!”

Yerim doesn’t listen. She peaks inside your locker, a shocked expression etched into her pretty features. “And candy? Are those sour patch kids...?” She falls silent, the gears inside her mind working to find a solution to the riddle presented in front of her. “What the hell? I thought Felix broke up with you.”

“Thank you very much for the reminder.” You snatch the letter out of her hands, grimacing at her words. It’s been three months of summer break since Jisung found you crying on the bleachers, the very location of where Felix first asked you out. Though it reaches back quite some time now and you’re now indifferent to the boy who used to call himself your lover, the pain is still fresh. A wound that hasn’t started forming tissue yet. The breakup came out of nowhere, like cloud nine dissolved right below you and now you came crashing down like some broken plane. You certainly feel like it - burning, spinning around your own axis. Maybe you’re going insane.

Turning away from Yerim to give yourself some privacy, you unfold the piece of paper. If Renjun would see what someone had done to his precious paper, he would’ve cried and went on a murder spree. Yerim leans her head over your shoulder, defeating the entire reason you turned around. Painted onto the paper in a familiar, messy penmanship, you find an entire page of cute encouragement.

Dear (y/n),

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to pick you up today. I know you hate using the school bus because you’re a spoiled baby, but as you can see, I was quite busy with fetching you some presents. Take this as a thank you for all the flash cards and study guides you wasted on me in junior year, I promise to do better. After all, I can’t let you and Chenle go to college alone. That would be treason on your part. Also, I need all your attention 24/7 because I’m just a brat like that.

Good luck on your math exam - I know you can do it, so don’t belittle yourself and start believing instead. If I do, why can’t you? You’re such a smart girl and I look up to you, even though I bully you into thinking you’re a nerd. It’s because I’m envious. I only have one braincell and I have to share it with Zhong Chenle, so you can imagine the amount of stress I’m under.

Yours truly (yuck),

Jisungie, who is taller than you (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

The laughter comes pouring out of your lips before you can stop it - this letter reeks of Jisung, so easily recognizable that you would have known it was him even if he hadn’t signed it. You’d recognize that scrawly, almost unreadable font anywhere. You’ve been deciphering it since elementary school. Weirdly and very disturbingly, the cute little letter makes butterflies swirl in your stomach, such an uncommon connotation with Jisung that your laughter dies down and you stare down at the letter in an almost confused manner. Yerim pinches your waist. “I didn’t know you guys gave each other little gifts like that,” she quips, a smile on her lips. “I didn’t even know Jisung wrote letters.”

“We don’t,” you breathe out, half in awe, half in confusion. Was this really the boy with the chubby cheeks you met in kindergarten, Park Jisung? Who pushed you off the swings because he couldn’t wait his turn and then cried right alongside with you as you burst into tears? You can’t see him doing something like this, can’t even remember telling him about your exam. He must have kept note, but since when is Jisung so attentive?

You fold the letter again and pocket it, where it seems to scorch through your skin like a flame. Smiling to yourself, you grab the chewing gum out of the big candy pile Jisung left you and pop one into your mouth, right after offering Yerim one.

For the rest of the day, the smile never leaves your face. When you get back your exam, there’s a big fat A stamped on your papers, right below the 96/100 points mark. It’s the best you’ve ever scored in a math exam.

— ☾ —

The first time Jisung ever looked at you as a lover and not a childhood friend was in ninth grade, on a school trip in a museum. You had been very excited, with your interest in history and the arts, which is why Jisung and Chenle dubbed you a nerd. You had shrugged them off and run inside, sticking to your teacher like a second shadow, so invested in all the art pieces and the trivia that followed it.

It had hit him out of nowhere. That look in your eyes; it had knocked the air right out of Jisung’s lungs, had hit him like lightning and split him right to the core. The raw emotion he had found inside your eyes, a sneak peak at your soul almost, as golden as the sun, even warmer than Jisung’s favorite fluffy blanket. A part of him was still clinging to the tiny little girl he had encountered when he had still been a child, with the pigtails and silly overalls, and another was reeling over the angel that had presented themself to him.

You still have that look. Three years old and counting, Jisung could recognize that gaze anywhere. He watches as you skim over the page infront of you, and asks himself how anyone could even take study hall seriously. To him, it’s break time. Time for lunch. He’s in the mood for some good food. “Close that book already,” Jisung complains. “You haven’t looked at me once.”

“Clingy much?” The retort is meant in a teasing matter, but your cheeks are turning pink. So adorable. “I just have to finish this exercise and then I’m done. So wait. I’m still gonna be here when I’m done with it.”

“That takes too long.” Jisung inches closer. His heart is pounding in excitement, but also in fear. He’s never initiated physical affection like this, not without reason. You continue writing down your exercise, unaware of the boy’s antics. “That exercise is not gonna grow legs and disappear. It’s not even homework.”

“Didn’t you promise me to study more for senior year in that letter? You don’t look like you’re studying,” you huff out. Finally, you look at him, and it still has that same effect on him like that day in the museum. Jisung holds his breath. “Since when do you even write letters, anyway? I was so suprised. Yerim thought it was a secret admirer.”

“Can I not write you letters?”

Shyly, you avoid his gaze. “I didn’t say that...”

Now or never. Jisung leans over, closer to you. Moments later, strong arms encircle your waist, so frail inside his hold. You squeak and quickly grab his shoulders to anchor yourself, though Jisung wills himself not to chicken out because of that and instead buries his face in your hair. Breathing in deeply, his heart sings for the perfume that clings to your skin. Smells like home. You’re warm below his touch.

You don’t push him away, but you’re not embracing him, either. Your hands remain on his shoulders, where they claw at his shirt. “Jisung?”

“What?” His voice sounds way more sulky than intended. He had hoped for a better reaction. He’s just waiting for you to reject his touch.

Silence looms over you both. Uncomfortable. Unbearable. But then, you move even closer, halfway on his lap. Now Jisung is the one who’s frozen in shock, his mind barely registering that you’re waiting for consent to fully sit on his lap. Gripping your waist, Jisung sits you down on his thighs and leans back to take a peak at your face, though he’s stopped by your hands clasping over his eyes and hindering his sight. “Don’t look!” you whine.

Laughter bubbles in his throat. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want your dumbass to see my red face and make fun of me!”

“I would never...” You make a noise in disbelief, yet you let him pull down your hands so he can fully look at you. There’s a big, wide smile on Jisung’s lips, so content with the situation. This is one big step closer to his goal. You even smile back, so prettily it makes his heart jump against his ribs. “You can continue your exercise, nerd, but only if you stay on my lap.”

So you do. You let him wrap both arms around your body as you lean over your exercise book and continue scribbling down solutions, lost in thought while Jisung plays with your hair. If he told you now, would you reject him? If he handed you your crown, would you take it? It’s yours already, yours for the taking, but are you ready to rule yet?

There’s still time - 239 days and counting. Jisung has waited years for you now. He can handle a few months, if it means that he gets to be called yours at the end of this journey.

— ☾ —

You remember your vow on a sunny spring day, 166 days until graduation, as you hand Jisung your lollipop even though it was in your mouth moments ago. That should disgust you, but it doesn’t, because it’s Jisung. Why should that be weird in any sense? Maybe if Chenle or Yerim had asked you, you would’ve flicked their forehead and told them off, but when Jisung complains about wanting a lollipop too, you offer it to him without thought and watch as he happily accepts it.

And then it turns scary. Since when has Jisung been so close with you? When did the line blur between best friend and ... you don’t even want to finish that thought. It’s Jisung, you try to tell yourself in a panic, your chubby-cheeked loser best friend Jisung, but when you look at him you can only see a fine young man who’s still growing into his features. A talented dancer, with a sweet laugh and a bunny face, not to mention arms that make you feel safer than your bed ever did. It’s wrong, very wrong to acknowledge that - you made yourself a promise, to never let someone toy with your heart again, not until you’re finally in college and left the childish drama of highschool behind. But your heart skips a beat whenever the bed dips below Jisung’s giant, lanky body when he comes to cuddle, and your nerves sear in envy whenever another girl gets too close to him. Your gaze lingers too long.

You’re in deep shit now.

Hyperventilating in silence, your eyes stay fixed on Jisung’s handsome face as he continues scribbling down some notes. Sitting in Yerim’s garden while doing homework seems like a waste of a spring day, but because you’re with Jisung, you’re content with where you are and what you are doing. You get to see him smile. You get to hear him laugh. That’s all what matters.

Oh, fuck. Groaning, you stand up and let go of Jisung’s hand, whose fingers were just intertwined with yours. Right when Yerim leaves the house with the lemonade she promised, you rush past her and loudly announce: “I’m going to become a nun! Don’t stop me!”

Yerim and Jisung exchange an aghast look, before Yerim turns her head and watches you disappear inside the house. Long after you turn the corner to leave her sight, she finally regains her voice and calls after you: “Excuse me?”

The bathroom door clicks into its’ lock behind you. Sliding down the old wood, you finally catch your breath. You press your hands to your face and try to drown out your surroundings, but the second your eyes slip closed, your mind is haunted with memories of a certain black-haired boy who sometimes seems more bunny than human. And it takes you back four years ago, when you were fourteen and still green behind the ears. You didn’t even know what love was, barely understood the concept of it. And yet you knew with one look at Jisung that you would want it to be a little bit like this when you were older - warm, home-y. Familiar. All the books and movies you watched never prepped you for the feeling of looking at Park Jisung and have thousands of butterflies exploding in your stomach, bursting through your lungs like flowers through the ground. Sunflowers, camellias, primroses, all coming to life in a heart that was only learning what life is like when you’re connected to another person.

You remember what it had felt like when he had tugged at your clothes like a pouty baby, the reason why you were almost late to your very first date. The memory is so deeply etched inside your soul that you’re still flustered by it; the sheer adoration you found in Jisung’s eyes when he saw you in your outfit, and you thought that maybe this is what it looks like when girls descend the stairs to meet their prom date. It was a scene straight out of a movie, if only for the feeling. You didn’t dramatically walk down some gigantic stairs to meet him. You had only exited the bathroom to stand between his legs and fix his hair for him while his eyes trailed over your figure, making you self-conscious, only to wipe it all away with one word: “Beautiful.”

It was the first time in your life Jisung had ever made you a compliment like that.

You spent years chasing after that look and its’ thrill, and you thought you had found it in Felix. But not once in your relationship had Felix made flowers bloom inside your heart, had not given life to the fields of primroses that represented your soul. It seems so silly now, such a waste of time. There was no need to chase it when Jisung had been right here.

The thought makes you very afraid, despite the connotation of it. You think of that girl on the bleachers and the sorrow that had almost drowned her, but you also think of the boy with the awkward hugs who made the effort to pull her out.

Becoming a nun is way too complicated, anyway.

— ☾ —

“Dad, I’m going out. I’ll be back by twelve or so.”

Your father cocks his head, lowering the newspaper he had been reading just enough for him to see you. His eyebrows furrow at your hoodie-clad figure, almost confused. “You’re going to meet Jisung like that? I thought girls always dressed up for their boyfriends.”

The sentence makes infernos light up your cheeks, blood rushing up to underline your embarrassment. “First of all, dad,” you squeak, “Jisung is not my boyfriend. We’ve been friends for almost fourteen years, remember? And second of all, girls dress up for themselves, thank you very much. Anyone would be glad to see me, whether that’s in a skirt or a trashbag.”

“Okay, sweetie, I’m sorry.” He returns to his newspaper. You wish you could see the look in his eyes, because you know damn well he doesn’t buy the Jisung story, and it makes you wanna yell. You’re not in a relationship. You’re still pondering over leaving the country to become a nun in Italy and remaining here to throw your heart to the sharks again. “Say hello to Jisung for me.”

“I hate it here,” you mumble, your mother’s laughter overpowering your quiet joke. Yerim is waiting in her car, engine roaring to life as you step out the house and run towards her to hop in.

“Took you long enough.” Your best friend leans over to pull you into a tight hug, even though she just saw you in school this morning. Finally leaving your street, the girl switches on the radio to listen to some music, head bobbing along to a singer you don’t recognize. The sun is setting on Seoul, warm colors painting the sky golden and pink, the entrance to heaven. Rolling down the window, you lean out your head and sigh loudly. In just a few days, all hell will break loose. Final exams are dawning closer, only a stone’s throw away. It means goodbye to all the comfortable afternoon you gave away to Park Jisung, spent in cool meadows or under the summer rain while he twirls you around and tries to teach you some dance moves he learnt during practice. You know now how soft Jisung’s hands are, what it feels like to have him fall asleep on your chest to the sound of your heartbeat. It’s no longer a foreign feeling to feel his lips on your cheek or even your neck, though it still makes your heart jump and leave electric currents on your skin, tingly and nerve-wracking.

All along, you had thought love was pain. That’s what it had felt like when you first tasted the bitter concoction that was heartbreak, like poison to your mind. It had been so hard to pick yourself up, to find all those shards and put them back together like some thousand-piece-puzzle. It’s impossible to make it whole again, there’s always gonna be that one gaping hole that you can never quite fill. How wrong you were. And how right it had felt to let Jisung in, to let him fill that gaping hole with love and sunlight and support. Your tired lungs were finally breathing in clear air again, your heartbeat wasn’t followed by a twinge of pain anymore. A smile, a kiss, someone’s fingers intertwining with yours as they leant down to look you in the eyes. The reincarnation of camellias in a land that was thought to be barren.

“You seem dreamy.” Yerim’s voice pulls you out of your Jisung-induced haze, and away from all the memories that make your heart smile. Almost dazed, you turn your head to look at her, but like the good driver she is, her eyes remain fixed on the horizon. The car turns into the street leading to the beach, closer to the person your soul had been yearning for. “How long are we going to pretend your big fat crush on Park Jisung doesn’t exist?”

“Forever,” you deadpan. Yerim laughs.

You can already see him in the distance. Leaning against Chenle’s brandnew car, arms crossed infront of his chest, Jisung waits for you and Yerim to finally reach the parking lot. When he recognizes the license plate, he starts waving and stands upright to properly greet you guys.

Yerim slows down. “You’re blushing, ma’am,” she murmurs tauntingly, and giggles again after you hit her arm. Catching your hand as you try to pinch her, she intertwines your fingers and starts parking the car. What a girl crush. Choi Yerim is girlfriend material. “I don’t see where the problem is. You should just tell him, it’s not like anything can go wrong.”

“He could reject me,” you offer, growing nervous under the boy’s gaze. “He could laugh at me, he could break my heart and ruin it for eternity after Lee Youngbok decided to take a hammer and an axe to it, incinerate it, throw the ashes into the sea...”

“Okay, you dramatic baby, I got it.” Reaching over, Yerim unbuckles you like a mother would her child. In a way, she really was like that. Yerim had always been an odd combination of sister, mother and best friend at once, the only one you have ever called your family. You may not be connected by blood, but your souls have been intertwined for eternity. “But I don’t think he would. Now stop glaring, I’m not saying it to lull you into a fake sense of security.” She pinches your cheek, soothes it with a kiss afterwards. A few metres away from your parking spot, Jisung and Chenle pretend to gag at the sight. Children. “I really mean it - I think this could be it for you. You look so happy with him, (y/n)ie. It makes me happy aswell.”

You grab her hands. Pondering over your words, you look down to inspect the ring Chenle gifted her, adorning her fourth finger ever since he gave it away. Yerim didn’t take it off once. “If I do,” you hum, “you have to admit your feelings for Chenle, too.”

Yerim lets go of you, recoiling as if she had burnt herself. You watch with a grin on your lips how her face turns fiery red, and she sputters out a “I have no idea what you mean!” before she throws the door open and hops out, ignoring your loud laughter. When you step out aswell, Jisung is the first one to reach you and pull you into a tight hug, warm hands splayed over your back to keep you there. Physical affection now seemed to come to him as easy as breathing. “I missed you,” he whispers into your ear, etched into your memories forever so that you can replay it whenever he’s far away.

Without hesitation, you wrap both arms around his shoulders and close your eyes. You understand now. When Felix had left you on that fateful night, he had turned the heart that had once belonged to him into ice. It had waited so long for the seasons to change. Park Jisung is summer to your winter heart. It’s finally thawing out, only three months away from graduation, half a year after you bid Felix goodbye and welcomed the true conqueror of your heart.

— ☾ —

It’s friday, two weeks before prom when Lee Felix approaches you at a houseparty.

You should’ve seen this coming. After all, your friends had once been his, your social circles still mingling long after Felix left highschool. He looks nothing like the boy who broke your heart almost a year ago, and more like the man he had been turning into. You’ve known that laughter by heart, had deemed it your happiness once. Now, it doesn’t ring a bell. You’re enamored with a boy that stands taller than Lee Felix despite being younger than him, who has a passion for dancing and gaming and succesfully made it through exam season without ever asking for your help. A promise well-kept. (Though you did sneak him some study guides here and there.)

Felix catches your gaze. There’s a sense of uncomfortableness settling in your stomach when he approaches you, and you regret not accompanying Yerim to get drinks. It was the last party of your senior year in highschool - all your exams are written, your diploma is waiting for you in a box inside the principal’s office. In three weeks, you’re going to walk down that destined stage and accept that piece of paper you’ve been working towards to for twelve years now, your one-way-ticket to Yonsei University. Prom night is fast approaching. You haven’t been asked on a date yet, still recoiling from the shock of Chenle’s expensive ass promposal. Yerim had made you promise not to tell anyone that she cried because of it.

“(y/n)!” Felix says, voice laced with excitement. In wonder, you realize that it leaves no effect on you whatsoever. Lee Felix was succesfully removed out of your system. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Not since you broke my heart, yeah.”

Felix winces. You didn’t mean for it to come off so rudely, but the damage was done. “Listen.” Felix steps closer. “That’s what I came to talk to you about. I know it’s my own fault for breaking up, but I never stopped thinking about you, (y/n). I thought it was the right thing to do, because we were going to be seperated because of university and I didn’t want to inflict that stress on you. I’m sorry. But I’m willing to make right by you.”

You stare at him, flabberghasted. What?

The man infront of you laughs nervously, hand moving up to ruffle through his hair. It’s dyed blonde, such an unusual colour. “Let me take you on a date,” he finally explains.

You’re too shocked to register anything for a moment. The only reason you snap out of it is because Jisung finally enters the house. His eyes move through the crowd before they finally settle on you (your heart jumps in happiness, as expected) and you watch as the biggest smile spreads on his lips. For a second, the moment remains wholesome, lovely. When Jisung catches sight of your ex boyfriend, the beautiful smile drops and he stops right where he stands, succesfully blocking off the crowd behind him. They push past him without second thought.

Swallowing, you try to gather your thoughs. You had never ever thought that this day would come, the long-awaited daydream turned into reality, where Felix would wake up and want you back. You had prayed for this, sacrificed tears and happiness for it. Now that it’s here, you feel ... numb. Underwhelmed. Because you love someone else. “Listen, Felix...” Your eyes never leave Jisung’s face. “There’s someone else in my life I want to do right by. I’ve been a coward for a very long time, and it’s not fair towards him. I’d like to give him a chance, even if it means that he’ll reject me.”

Felix follows your gaze. He seems confused for just a moment, before he begins laughing, which is why you manage to look away from Jisung and look back at Felix in confusion. “I understand now,” he says. Respectfully, Felix steps back and gives you a sincere smile. “Don’t worry, little (y/n) - Jisung would be blind to turn you away. I wish you the best.” With that, he turns around, hand raised to wave you goodbye as he disappears inbetween the dancing people.

Perplexed, you watch him leave. How’d he know...?

After what feels like an eternity, Jisung finally reaches you, and he pulls you so roughly against his chest that you fall against it with a squeak. You raise your head to look at him, bewildered, but are silenced by the fear in his eyes. He looks scared, but of what? “Was that Felix?” he breathes out, barely audible. “What did he want?”

Your hands find his shoulders. You’re accoustumed to the butterflies that live inside you now, the ones who flutter beneath his touch, right below his hands on your lower back. “He wanted to take me on a date,” you explain, carefully, slowly. You don’t want to cause a misunderstanding. “And I rejected him.”

Jisung tenses below you. “Rejected him? Why?”

You laugh. Jisung lets himself be tugged down, the fear in his eyes replaced by relief when you pinch his cheeks and pat them. “Dumbass,” you tell him, kissing the tip of his nose. He blinks. “Idiot. Why wouldn’t I when I have you right here? You’re still indebted to me. For looking at me, remember? I told you it was gonna cost you.”

The look on his face is comedy gold. You snort loudly at the dumbfounded expression on his face; his stunning, blindingly gorgeous face. Jisung, your Jisung. You wait for him to finally understand the reference, count the lashes adorning his eye lids while you wait. Years seem to pass before Jisung even returns to reality. You open your mouth to mock him, but you’re stopped by soft, warm hands cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss, one that raises you straight onto cloud nine again and makes you feel like you’ve been spinning on a carousel for too long. Your hands find Jisung’s shirt, gripping it tightly to pull him closer, close enough that his cologne starts to drown out the smell of alcohol. It’s your favorite scent in the entire world. It feels like a first kiss, a true first kiss, one that is born out of true love, designed to survive centuries. It took you some time, but there’s no doubt now. You’ll love Park Jisung in this life, and the ones after that.

He tastes like the sweet wine he had been drinking while pregaming with Chenle, and like your favorite bubblegum. The one that had been accompanying your precious letter tucked into your locker in september, now packed away in a bag that’ll follow you into your own shared apartment with Choi Yerim. You’re both out of breath when Jisung finally parts from you, your lips swollen. He traces it with his thumb, his eyes lit up in happiness. That pretty smile from before adorns his lips when you press a kiss on the tip of his finger. “I hope this is enough convincing to keep you from becoming a nun,” he explains shyly, your laughter boisterous enough to make him join in. Your heart is still racing from the amount of adrenaline and happiness that you’ve been experiencing in just two minutes.

You peck his lips again, and again and again and again until Jisung keeps you pinned against his chest to kiss you properly. This prom night, you’re not going to have to fight for survival because of a broken heart. You’ll celebrate the mending done to it by none other than Park Jisung, the bunny boy who now lives inside it.

Park Jisung succesfully made you break your vow. He had 273 days to change your mind. He did it in 259.

— ☾ —

Time flies, especially when you’re in love.

Prom night seems like a distant memory, even though it’s only a week ago. You still can’t believe you managed to make your boyfriend(even more shocking, your boyfriend, not childhood friend!) burst into tears at the sight of you in your prom dress. It was a tight dress with a long train, the velvet color matching the tie you bought Jisung. Your parents were cooing at the way you kissed all his tears away, and his fingers had trembled when he put the corsage around your wrist. The kiss he had left on the back on your hand in turn made your cheeks turn his favorite color - cherry red.

Finally you’re standing on the dreamt of stage, infront of your principal, the promise ring adorning your finger glinting in the sunlight as you accept your diploma from the elderly man. He smiles at you brightly, praising you for all your hard work, proud to have been your teacher. You thank him for introducing you to all your favorite books, and he sends you offstage with laughter that makes his weak body rumble.

In a little while, you’ll walk through Yonsei University with Yerim on your arm, headphones plugged in to listen to your boyfriend’s newest song. Right now, though, you throw yourself down the stairs right into Jisung’s arms, tackling him to the ground while your friends laugh at you. It reminds you of an evening inside your room, long before you knew what came after heartbreak, when you first properly looked into Jisung’s eyes and never willed yourself to look away. Thank the heavens you didn’t.

If you did, you would have never learnt that relationships may be troublesome, but it’s all worth it if you get to look the love of your life in the eyes and know you can resolve anything together. Even if it means you have to go back on your word every once in a while. You would have never known what it feels like to kiss Jisung on graduation day, cheers erupting around you as caps are tossed into the sky, fireworks of love exploding inside your veins. You finally found your way back into that flower field, right beside the museum in Jisung’s dreams.