#nd brain

[drivenbydopamine]

Too much or not enough.

As a neurodivergent person, trying to work within the parameters set by a neurotypical world feels like trying to get the light switch to balance in the middle between on and off.

[b-lessings]

A few years ago, my old dietitian told me to drink a cup of cinnamon tea before sleep. I have been trying to convince myself to start doing that again for WEEKS now. Can't bring myself to do it. How can a person procrastinate such a simple task????????? Ugh.

[witchofmanynamess]

One of the most neurodivergent thoughts I've ever had must be I'd wish people wouldn't take it so personally if you told them "I don't like you".

Like... "I don't like you" doesn't mean "I hate you and everything you do". It doesn't mean "I will refuse to respect you and work with you". It really just means... "I don't vibe with you and don't want to be around you when I don't have to", and honestly, I wish that was more socially acceptable...

[drivenbydopamine]

I feel like Goldilocks who can't get her shit together.

Being sick is such a sensory nightmare. I sit down, I sit up, i lay down, I get up and stand in the middle of the room, I turn the lights on, I close the curtains, I turn the lights off, I turn different lights on, I change my shirt, I change my pants, I change my shirt again, I put on another shirt, I turn on the heater, I open the window, I close the window, I get a blanket, I kick the blanket off, I put my hair up, i take it back down...

Too hot

Too cold

Too hot

Too bright

Too dark

Wrong light temperature

Chair is uncomfortable

Sitting is uncomfortable

Shirt is too tight

Pants are too loose.

Socks are itchy

Hair is hot

Hair is itchy

Hair is sore

Feet are cold

[drivenbydopamine]

I've been told "fake it til you make it" my whole life. The only place I've made it to is burnout. I recover a little, life still goes on, and I burn out again but much worse this time. Then I recover a little, but then I keep existing, and burnout happens again only much MUCH worse this time.

2 steps forward and 8 steps back.

This cycle is like burning a house down a little at a time.

First you accidentally set something on your stove on fire. Easy enough to put out but there's definitely a bit of smoke damage and a terrible smell. Smell goes away but you never get around to cleaning up that smoke damage.

A while later your Christmas tree catches on fire while you're not home. Your neighbours notice the flames and the fire department puts it out before it burns down the whole house. But you lose everything in that room. And you can't afford to replace it. You'll just have to do without.

Shortly after that there's an electrical fire. Old wiring you were never able to update. The whole house is on fire. The smoke detectors don't work. You're asleep. Nobody notices the whole house is up in flames. Eventually the Fire department shows up but at that point their main priority is to minimize damage to nearby properties. Nobody knows you're home. Nobody checks on you.

[drivenbydopamine]

Anyone else miss that brief moment in time during covid lockdown when the world was more neurodivergent-friendly?

I miss the quiet, the calm, the low demands, and the expectation that you would NOT go out into the world.

[drivenbydopamine]

I just need to sit at the end of a dock on a lake for about 12 to 8,760 hours and I'll be fine.

[drivenbydopamine]

Am I the only one who wants to rip their skin off when they hear any of the ASMR stuff?! it's all just different versions of nails on a chalkboard to me.