Warnings: mentions of negligence/abuse. Some of the things may be triggering.
Do you see what you have to fear, child? He sent you here for me to improve you. For you to become a daughter he will be proud of.
Two hundred and sixty weeks… One thousand eight hundred and twenty five days… forty three thousand eight hundred hours… That's the time you've been there. Days merged together after the first month being in the room. Father won’t come for me right? I’m tired…
Father. What a foreign word. It is not like he acted like one for you, maybe for Richard and Jason. But not you, you don't deserve it.
Dad… I don't remember his face. Bringing your hands to your eyes, your long uncut and uneven nails drew harsh lines from your under eyes until your chin. Jay… I also don't remember his face and certainly not his voice.
How dare you forget him. You can forget everything and everyone, but not him. No, never him. Your hero, your older brother.
Your thoughts came to halt after hearing the slow steps on the corridor. He is here again. Your body began to tremble, eyes already drifting from reminiscence to numbness.
I want to go home… I don’t have a home… Home is where Jayjay is…
The past few days have been intense. Damian didn't question his father anymore, in fact he decided to take matters into his own hands. He couldn't possibly demand assistance from the one that had sent you away in the first place, it was naive of him to think he could. So instead he looked for you everywhere, any sign of you sent him a loophole, it is too hard to look for clues without alerting the family, tho he was sure they already knew.
It was after taking advantage of his father's absence that he got to go through whatever he was keeping to himself.
“Serene, mental wellness camp”
The words stared back at him, mocking. The teen couldn't quite comprehend, he got it you lost Todd and it was affected by it, but how sending you further from the family could make you feel better? Tsk, it feels like father just wanted to get rid of her…
Searching for the place, Damian found the small farm in the outskirts of Gotham, bordering Metropolis. The place held almost only positive reviews, but one pattern caught his attention.
“I spent 5 months there. The staff are so considerate which made my stay really pleasant.”
“One year connecting with nature, out of Gotham's constant trouble, made my mind and heart more at ease. It won't be easy to get out of this safe haven and come back to the city, but im sure ill be going as a new person.”
“4 months…”, “ 7 months…”
The ward had a 12 month maximum of stay and yet his sister had been gone for five years. Did Bruce use his influence to guarantee a longer stay? Is his sister still there? Damian closed the laptop and soon enough found himself wandering through the manors corridor, looking for Tim.
“You!”- Speeding his footsteps to reach his brother, the older one was already sensing trouble.- “I request your help.”
“Does it involve Y/N?”- Tim asked and when the youngest nodded, he sighed.- “Then no.”
“Why Drake? Don't you know how important that is?
“Let it go, Dames. B doesn't want us to meddle.”
“Listen, just this time. I just need you to look through this camp father put her in, once we see that everything is okay, then I won't bother you anymore.”
Tim rubbed his eyelids and motioned his hand, singing for Damian to follow him. The two boys followed to the cave and in a matter of minutes, Drake was hacking into the camp security cam. The farm seemed normal, just a few people here and there, feeding some animals, others reading and yet, not a sight of their sister.
“Do you know what she looks like? I can't find her.”
Before the youngest could answer, another voice interrupted.
“Long black hair, bright eyes.”
“Fuck, Jason. Why do you always have to appear out of nowhere?!”
He didn't answer, his eyes glued to the footage, scanning and eventually knitting his brows.
“She’s not there.”- His hands came to the table, fingertips whitening with the strength of his hold.
“What do you mean, Ahki? That's where father sent her.”
Not even waiting for any explanation, Tim opened another file, this time it was a list of members of the farm. From staff to visitants, all of the names were there, except yours.
“Looking at the past five years' worth of information, it never once showed Y/N.”- Tim said, eyes still glued to the screen.- “It's like she never even set foot in this place to begin with.”
The realization made Jason's heart sink. What did Bruce do? If she had never been there, then where the hell could she be now? Did she change names? Did she move cities? Fuck, is she even alive? It is not like she had anything to live for.
“Damian, call Alfred now.”
The youngest nodded and went on his way to find the butler. Which, although he had an idea on what this was about, still descended through to the cave with a confused expression.
“Alfie, Where is she?”- The urgency in Jason's voice brought the older man even more confusion.
“What do you mean, Master Jason? Miss Y/N is at the wellness camp.”
“She isn't, Alfie. Look at this.”- Tim pointed at the files and after reading through them, Alfred's face grew pale.
With trembling hands, the older man supported himself in the wall. Was that the reason his many letters were never answered?! God, his chest felt tight. Adding to the already chaos that started to ensue, Bruce entered the cave, already noticing the heavy atmosphere. He barely had time to ask what that was about, when Todd's fist connected with his face.
“What did you do to her?”- His son's rushed words almost weren't filtered in his ears.
Her? Y/N… She is the only one who could make Jason act this way.
Being held back by his brothers, he seemed almost feral. Alfred used this time of distraction to fill his master with what's been going on. Bruce's eyes seemed ready to fall from his skull,
His daughter… His baby… Where is she?
He had no time to be spiraling into his thoughts with Jason's voice filling his eardrums again.
“Fuck, i cant count on you. Not even once, not even with her…”- His son voice came out trembling with pain.- “Why her, dad?”
Dad… he called me dad again, but how come I can be happy when he looks at me with this kind of eyes? Eyes that denounce my failure once more…
“Y’know what?! Fuck this, I’ll find her myself.”- The man stormed off the cave, heavy steps doing barely to cease his anger.- “Don’t worry babybird, I’ll find my way to you. I always did and I’ll always do.”
Taglist: currently closed due to the amount of characters 🥹
summary: due to Bruce distancing himself from reading and seeing other women - batfam has to watch their mom willow away.
pt 2
For the twenty-five years, Bruce and Name have been married together - Alfred has never seen Name so withdrawn - so detached . He watches every morning how Name's frail body maneuvers around the kitchen making her own breakfast -
God knows how many times he's asked that stubborn woman to allow him to cook for him but she has always refused him with a quiet smile and a wave of hand. He watches her glide around the kitchen- a woman of once poise and grace reduced to her fumbling with simply holding a cereal box.
Alfred could never pin point where it had all went wrong in their marriage - they were both high-school sweethearts- their marriage was beautiful- he'd know because he had honored it himself. To see them so distant aches his heart.
Alfred knows Bruce has a mission - to save Gotham- a mission that seems ever lasting - a mission that had consumed him entirely to the point it took him over . It took away his relationship with his kids and his own wife .
Alfred would always shoot him disapproving looks when he sees Bruce being too flirty with Talia and Selina - he blesses Name's heart for loving Damian all the same like she has with all her other kids but Alfred notices since then she is virtual never in the same place with Bruce.
She no longer goes to galas anymore , no longer makes public appearances - maybe its because Bruce always had a different arm candy every other night. It's gotten so bad that even the kids started realizing this - Damian , upon realizing his birth had broken down in Name's arms one night - pleading with her to love him - that he's sorry for being born.
Alfred remembers Name cradling the young boy in her arms all night and assuring him he's the best thing Bruce ever made and that she would never blame him for Bruce's actions. Since then - the young boy has always stuck to Name - every morning, he'd affectionately hand her daily medicine and would always help her wrap a shawl over her shoulders.
Tim and Bruce began arguing - particularly because Bruce starting leaving the massive work of W.E for Tim to handle- it came to a head one night when Name and Bruce argued for two hours straight. He remembered how raw her voice was when she yelled at Bruce for overworked her poor son - that he's young and deserves to live and experience his teenage years.
Bruce had argued that Tim had wanted this - that this was what being Robin was about. Jason- god knows Jason and Bruce doesn't get along - ever since what happened to Joker but they argue even worse when it boils down to Name .
Jason was a child primarily raised by Name - she taught him to trust and showed him everything he knew - down to ironing his shirt to tying his shoelace - Name was the mother Jason never had and God could damn for all he cares but couldn't stand to watch Bruce treat her like she was an option because she wasn't - not to him or his brothers.
Jason always made it a point to call Bruce out for his own hypocrisy, himself and Damian always teamed up against him, especially when he was being too flirty with Selina or some random eye candy.
" I suggest you back off harlot , my mother might not kill you, but I will " - Damian when Bruce and Selina were flirting together on patrol.
" I don't give a fuck if ma begs me not to put a bullet in your head , the next damn time I see you talking about her like that I won't hesitate to skin you alive " - Jason when he caught some arm candy bragging to her friends how the 'Bruce Wayne' took her out on a date in front of Name.
God if anyone argues more with Bruce in this household was Dick - Dick was their first child and a child whom lost everything and yes Bruce may of made him robin but name made him dick grayson - bless that woman's heart for having to deal with his tantrums and outbursts when he was younger -
But that woman despite not birthing him was his mother - the woman who literally hugged him everynight to go to bed , the same woman who made his suit for prom by hand and also the same woman he goes to for advice and comfort - safe to say when he heard what Bruce was doing - they argued non stop-
" For god sake, Bruce, you're destroying us - you're destroying our family, and you don't even care." - Dick when Bruce had called you useless because you couldn't walk up a stairs anymore.
Someone from the outside might think they're dramatic, but ever since Bruce started distancing himself from Name and going out with God knows who , Name has fallen into a deep depression - a type of depression that ensnared them in their deep claws and deprive them of what little happiness and energy they have left.
Most days , Name sits on a swing outside and just exists- barely eats , barely talks anymore - how can they ? How can one fathom to be happy when their own spouse is out cheating on you with different people and to make matter worse the public condones it - even more so enables him.
Always publishing some new article of which new model or actress can become worthy of being Bruce's wife as if she doesn't exist. Alfred swallows as he watches her tonight - they're sat stiffly in a velvet love seat , a faint smile on her face, Damian is resting his head on their shoulder, showing them his latest art piece while quietly talking about his day.
Behind her, jason embraces her in a backhug , head resting on her head - his hands sometimes play with the loose strands. Tim quietly sits beside her , his hand holding her free hand - now and again he'd squeeze it . Dick is sat next to Damian on the love seats' arm rest as he prepares her nightly medicine.
Even if the public and her own husband loathes her, name still has the love of her kids and Alfred as always. Suddenly, the large oak doors of the living room are pushed open - the vibrant warmth interrupted as Bruce steps inside .
Damian quiets - everyone looking at Bruce except for Name - she has taken it to state at her hands. " It's time for patrol" Bruce says grufly . No one responds but reluctantly leaves Name side , Jason side hugs her one last time before leaving .
" Yeah, whatever you say, geaser," He says as he shoves Bruce out of his way to go to the cave . Damian glares at his father , " Hopefully, things are taken seriously on this patrol " he insinuated- knowing eyes glaring right at his father disapproving.
Bruce ignores them and stares at name, " Make dinner before we leave " he orders before promptly walking away. Name says nothing - too numbed out a long while to even react. Dick and Alfred himself curses him while Tim is glaring at the closing door harshly .
" Ma I'll order us something don't stress yourself " Tim assures her while ordering Uber eats for them on his phone . Name doesn't say anything but sends him a small smile. " I can't believe I raised that boy," Alfred murmurs as he shakes his head in disappointment .
Bruce may not realize it now but it's too late to fix anything - too late to pull his wife back in and live the happy life they once had - its too late to repair their broken family since the glue that's stuck them all together is fading away .
ty for reading, please like + comment + share !!!
pls do not hate a on queens talia & selina they won't do this , theyre too girlboss for bruce anyways
ANOTHER ONE FOR BATFAM X NEGLECTED READER x BLACK BUTLER!!!
Heres the idea:
Reader is a biological daughter of Bruce. She grew up with her mother and a step father.. She was happy with that since they're very caring and loved her dearly.
One thing leads to another and an accident happened where her parents died in an accident. She had to stay at the orphanage for a few weeks before they found out that Bruce Wayne is her father.
Bruce took her in but the problem is that Bruce wasn't in the right mental state since he just lost Jason. (Reader is around 7-8 when she arrives at the mansion meaning she's the same age as Damien)
The reader doesn't really bother with connecting with others too since she's also mourning for her parents (she believes that she's replacing them if she went to Bruce or Alfred and she didn't want any replacment..she wants her parents) but a child needs someone too.. She needed comfort from an adult but she never got that. Every time she sleeps at night, the accident keeps replaying on her mind, guilt would consume her and blame herself for the reason why her parents died.
As the family grew, she faded into the shadow of her own misery. She'd watch them in the corner.. Watching as they laughed and bonded with each other. She wished she could join but what can someone like her do when she grew up all alone and never interacts with any of her family members?
She felt isolated but she couldn't blame them.. She believes it was her fault for pushing them away (not like any of them ever approached her except for Alfred).
She works a part time job and uses her step fathers last name. Whatever she earns she uses it to pay her tuition and the extra on her necessities.
She thought she'd remain invisible forever but no.. Everything took a turn when 𝒔𝒉𝒆 arrived. It wasn't a good change.. The newest addition was a two faced bi- bread. (I don't cuss)
Reader didn't know what she did for 𝒉𝒆𝒓 to treat her like this but it seems like 𝒔𝒉𝒆 just love seeing reader suffer. Reader was bullied, abused, humiliated, blamed for things she never did.. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 did everything just to ruin her life. It went on for so long until the batfam had enough of reader (for things she never did) and was disowned.
Life in gotham was rough (even that is putting it lightly).. Especially for a 14 years old. Gotham wasn't nice even to children so one day.. She was abducted and sold in a black market. She was bought by a cultists.. (Insert ceil phantomhives backstory.) And that's how she met Sebastian.
I want to add more to this but my brain is not functioning (literally didn't sleep for 2 days now.. Thanks to school work)
Seriously.. I want to be greedy and not only have Sebastian but the others too 😩 (Undertaker my beloved 😩😩😩)
Today was the day you would start your new internship. You were incredibly nervous, knowing how rare an opportunity it was for a high school junior to be offered an internship by the D.A of Gotham, but you resolved to do your best. Besides, based on how Mr. Dent described the internship in your further communications it would mainly be secretarial work. Mr. Dent described it as a way for you to get a taste for the field of law while still taking into account your limited background and experience. It also didn’t hurt that the internship would be a nice addition to your college applications
You appreciated the chance to explore a potential career path before the collegiate level, and refused to let him down. You had enrolled yourself in a few secretarial and business classes at Gotham Community College to help better prepare for the job, and all in all you think you succeeded. It was mainly light work like short hand or managing excel spreadsheets, but every little bit helps.
“Today’s the day, (y/n)” you repeated it like a mantra while staring into your bathroom mirror. You had been worrying about today ever since you first accepted Mr. Dent’s internship, but now the day was here and there was nothing you could do about it. You tucked your chin in and stared resolutely at your reflection in the mirror. “No more Wayne wallflower. Time to stand in your own two feet”
Having said this you nodded to yourself, gave yourself one last once over, and then headed out of the bathroom to grab your purse before leaving for the city.
The ride into the heart of Gotham was pretty quiet all things considered. Usually Alfred would drive you wherever you wanted to go, but this is something you wanted to do on your own merits, including transportation. It’s not taht you didn’t love him, but asking him to drive you would just draw unwanted attention to your internship like the judgement of your hellion of a brother Damian. The thought of your brother’s rotten personality made you laugh as you considered him taking public transportation like you are right now. The mental imagery of Damian on public transport with his arms crossed muttering threats under his breath for having to take the train had you snorting, but you tried to compose yourself so that you didn’t disturb the other passengers.
Despite how it may seem you didn’t hate your brother, or any of your siblings for that matter. However, you came to the conclusion a long time ago that there was no use in bending over backwards to cater towards people who wouldn’t do the same for you. You loved them out of a sense of familial obligation, but you didn’t crave their approval like when you were younger. Before you could sit with those thoughts a little longer the train pulled into your station, so you filed those thoughts away to consider later and got off the train with a new found sense of calm.
As you emerged from the subway you felt a small sense of accomplishment well up in you. A few weeks ago you would’ve never thought about applying for an internship, much less being handed one on a silver platter. A part of you felt bad that it had come to you so easy when you no there are other people who have to work much harder to even get a shot at the same opportunity, but at the same time the more selfish part of you couldn’t help but think of it as a reward from the universe for growing up in an emotionally stunted family. You chose to listen to the selfish part of you today. The doubt of whether or not you really deserved the internship could be saved for tomorrow. Today you would feel proud of yourself.
You walked a little further down the street, before arriving at the D.A’s office. You swallowed down your last bit of hesitation and walked into the building. You were immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people in the lobby. There were around twenty people in the room, which made you feel even more scrutinized than you thought you’d be. In your emails with Mr. Dent he told you to find his secretary, Charlene, and that she would be waiting for you by one of the grand staircases. After scoping out the lobby a little bit more you spotted a short, curly haired woman standing with her hands neatly folded near the left staircase. You assumed she was Charlene, so you cautiously approached her to ask where you were supposed to go from here.
“Um, hi, are you Charlene by any chance?” you watched as she seemed to snap out of a stupor and begin to acknowledge your question. She gave you a strained smile, and you couldn’t help but feel like a bother
“Yes I am. Are you (y/n)?” she asked. After getting a closer look she seemed like a no-nonsense woman in her late 30’s. She wore a dark black blazer with a forest green dress shirt and a matching pair of black slacks. She seemed very adult to you, which made you feel more self aware than when you walked in. You tried to straighten up your spine and present yourself as a little more mature before giving her a response, but it didn’t do anything to soothe your nerves.
“Yes, so I’m supposed to be working as an intern for Mr. Dent starting today?” you felt like a shrinking violet under Charlene’s gaze, and began wringing the strap of your purse with your hands to soothe your nerves. “In our emails he said to find his secretary, Charlene, in the lobby and that you would help me out?”
Charlene scrutinized you for a little bit longer, before seeming to soften a bit. You don’t know if she was just taking pity on the wisp of a girl who showed up in the lions den, but she gave you a warm smile before asking, “First internship?” you nodded embarrassed .
She gave you another small grin before saying “Don’t worry, Mr. Dent is a great boss, and your work wont be anything too intense. Just enough to give you a taste, but not sensitive enough that there will be serious consequences if you make a mistake.” She turned around and began gesturing at you to follow her up the stairs. “Let’s take you up to talk to Mr. Dent, and see what you’ll be doing for the day.”
You don’t know how she did it, but Charlene managed to ease your worries like they were never there to begin with. When you first started speaking with her you thought she was a little intimidating, but after talking to her more she seemed like a genuinely sweet but no nonsense woman who took her job seriously. Maybe it was her directness with you, but she made you feel like you were being acknowledged as a person independent from your last name.
As you walked through the building you couldn’t help but observe the workers as they went about their business. Men and women in suits going about their day with a confidence you couldn’t fathom. Even the attorneys who looked the most worn out still had this fire in their eyes that inspired a begrudging respect from you even though you didn’t know them.
Before long the two of you came to a stop in front of an office that read ‘Harvey Dent - D.A’ in bold white lettering on the door. Charlene turned her head and shot a grin to you before knocking on the door in front of you two and calling, “Harvey! You have a visitor!”
You heard some shuffling in the office, before hearing who you presumed was Mr. Dent respond,“Just a minute, Charlene!” there was some more movement from behind the door, before you heard the sound of footsteps approaching. You stepped back from the door at the exact moment Mr. Dent swung it open with excitement “Ms. (l/n)! What a pleasure to have you here with us today!” He turned to look at Charlene and shot her a blinding smile coupled with some puppy dog eyes before saying “You don’t mind giving us a moment before I release her back into your care do you?”
Charlene looked unimpressed with his antics, but eventually her lips quirked up slightly, and she said “Don’t scare the girl too much. I just convinced her you weren’t a circus monkey in disguise. Don’t make a liar of me now, Harvey”
Mr. Dent laughed before ushering me into his office. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Charlene” After we entered his office he looked around before closing the door, like he thought Charlene might still come around the corner to smack him if he wasn’t careful. “Thought she’d kill me for stealing her conversation partner” He leaned in to whisper in your ear conspiratorially “Now don’t tell her I told you this, but she has a huge soft spot for the interns.” He guided you to a chair in front of his desk, before moving to sit behind his desk. “Like a mama duck that one” Then with the most serious face ever he continued “So how about when lunch time comes and I wanna order the most unholy fast food combination possible from Bat Burger you ask instead of me” you couldn’t help but laugh at that. He started laughing too before saying “It’s not my fault, no matter how many ways I try to sneak it in it’s like she always knows!!”
The whole conversation was just so silly and ludicrous you couldn’t hold onto any of the anxiety you had earlier when you arrived. Between Charlene, and Mr. Dent you thought you were going to like it here. Eventually Mr. Dent collected himself, and the two of you settled down. “Now let’s talk a little bit about the many ways I plan to torture you while you’re here. Method 1, paper work” He reached down underneath his desk, and after finding what he was looking for dropped a stack of papers on the desktop. “There are a lot of gears that keep things moving around here, and one of the most annoying ones is paper work.” He put the papers to the side of him “Now you may remember from our emails, but what your main role here will be is a mix between gopher and secretary. When you’re not delivering things around the office to the other attorneys for me, you will be with Charlene answering phones, scheduling appointments, and anything else she needs help with.”
Even though the tasks seemed pretty menial you couldn’t help but smile. You were exactly where you wanted to be.
Warnings: Reader is portrait as fem. Mentions of neglect, child abuse, violence and over all violent themes, drug usage and medical conditions. Heavy angst, no comfort. Proceed with caution.
This is a part two. It was supposed to be a two parts only, but i end up with a infection on my ear and the pain let me write just this much, sorry about this.
It's been a few years since Bruce felt his chest this tight, the last time being with Jason's death. He knew he wasn't exactly the standard of a father, but he tried, the thing is that between bats and birds he ended up forgetting the child that didn't fit in. Bruce couldn't admit it, but even if he knew it wasn't your fault for him being drunk and for your mother to take advantage of his fragile moment, he did resent the fact of being made a dad forcefully.
When you first arrived at the mansion and he had seen you with big doe eyes, the first thing that passed through his mind was how awfully you looked like him. He thought about rejecting you, not wanting to put you in the danger that comes with being the daughter of a vigilant, but when he saw how you flinched every time a hand was raised close to you, he knew for a fact that he would never send you back to the monster of your mother.
His heart ached at the thought, you were already wounded by one parent and instead of making you family, he just emphasized that you had no place to feel secured. Now, the only thing that remains is the guilt of having failed one more of his children.
He looked through his children . Dick tried and failed to hold his tears. Jason with a locked jaw. Tim with his head down, pressing his ears. Cass, the always perceptive girl, remained silent as if going through her head looking for signs that she dismissed. Steph fidgeting with her fingers in an anxious state. Barbara looked through files, searching for anything that could help them with the younger one's situation. Damian, the one who could never be sincere with his sentiments, just fled to his room, needing some time alone.
“B, the files showed that, for almost a year, she had been going to the doctors regularly. She visited almost every hospital in Gotham, alone.”- Barb's words hung heavy in the room.- “Also, she paid it all with her allowance, when the money started to end was when she met the drug dealer. He sold anesthetics in cigarettes and in pills for a far more affordable price for her.”
The thought of the girl passing through all that alone makes Bruce tear up. He should have been there. God, his little girl endured all that without complaining once.
Getting up, Dick walked through the manor, leaving his family behind and going to his sister's room. On the way, he found Alfred, the older man carrying a somber expression, one he surely wasn't used to seeing, but he decided to leave the man alone with his thoughts and continued following his path towards the Y/N room.
The corridor was quiet when he came, only his own footsteps' sounds reached his ears. It felt awful, like mourning someone who was still alive. He knocked faintly in her door, not receiving any answer, so he entered with all the silence he could manage. She was sleeping soundly, her torso barely moving and a blood string coming out of her nose.
Richard, walked carefully through the room, picking a cloth and wetting it in her bathroom. Soon he came back, and with all the delicacy he could have, he started cleaning his sister's face, wiping the blood streak. Memories of his dismissive demeanour flowed through his mind.
“i’m feeling sick, Dick.”
“You should talk about with Alfie babybird. Now I have to take Dami out.”
After finishing the cleaning, he sat at the end of her bed, his eyes hollow with sorrow. He kept drowning in his memories and his grief, that if it wasn't for the girl's sudden movement in the bed, he wouldn't notice that she had woken up. Gathering all her strength to sit on the bed, she looked to Dick with a confused look.
“What you're doing here?”
Grayson didn't answer, instead he hugged Y/N, who did nothing to get out of her brother's embrace.
“Isnt a bit too late for giving me your affection now?!”- She said in an ironic tone.
“I know…”- Hiding his face on the crook of her neck, he couldn't hold his tears, feeling the younger one's cold body.
“Why now?”- Her voice came out in a whisper.
“Because I took time for granted. Being the oldest, I thought I wouldn't see any more of my siblings being buried.”- His voice came out shaking.
“And yet, when I had all the time to be loved, you didn't give any of it.”
“Yes, and that's what hurts the most. Knowing that I took part in your dismissal and that I have no time to redeem myself about it.”
His arms tightened around your body, strength enough to keep you there but not enough to hurt you. Breathing shakily, tears still going down his chin, your cold body was a deep reminder of your fading existence. Dick opened his mouth to say more, but was interrupted by Alfred, knocking on the already open door. The butler carried a tray and in it a plate with porridge in it.
“Darling.”- His voice came out quietly.- “I heard you are having difficulty eating solid food, so i made you a porridge. I hope that the texture satisfies you.”
Richard let go of your body and moved away so Alfred could place the tray in front of you. Your heart warmed at the man's consideration. Picking up the spoon, you brought it to your mouth, and for the first time in eight months you tasted something that wasn't ice cream, soups or any other liquids. Tears prickled on your eyes.
“Thanks Alfie. It tastes amazing.”
You never thought you would cry over food, but once one loses what has always been a constant, is when you notice how the little things in life are the ones that bring pleasure. Bringing himself down to one knee so he could look the girl in her eyes, Alfred held her left hand, feeling the limb devoid of any life.
“Miss, I know it is too much, but for the sake of this old man's peace of mind, would you do a last examination?”
Y/N looked at Alfred, the task was uncomfortable, but the man was the only one in the family who had taken his time knowing her and being family to her. She already had a bit of guilt to hide the illness from him, but she had decided that him being the only one to take care of the whole family needs, she couldn't put more on his plate.
“I’ll do it, Alfie.”
“Thank you, Miss.”- The man gave her a small smile and excused himself off of the room, taking Richard with him, so you would feel more comfortable eating.
The porridge felt warm in your stomach, a feeling you forgot since for last year your body drowned itself in cold. For the first time in months you were full, the feeling left you with a kind of satisfaction. After eating, you changed your clothes to a more comfortable one, you got down to leave the tray in the kitchen and soon you were at the mansion's gate.
It became quite a routine to you, getting out of the suffocating manor and taking a walk through the city, despite it being dangerous. But as soon as you set foot out of the gate, a voice stopped you. It was Jason.
“Where you're going?”- With his side pressed against the wall, your older sibling looked at you, mapping your movements.
“To the harbor.”
Jason didn't question you, instead, he straightened his posture before walking towards you and grabbing your right arm and entwining with his own, giving you stability.
“Let's go then.”
His walk was calm, matching your slow steps in a subtle way to show he knew you couldn't go faster. Reaching for his motorcycle, he got up first but still found a way to help you sit there. He drove slowly, the city’s cold wind whiplashing both your faces, until you reached the harbor. Getting out, you slowly walked yourself to sit at the one border of the deck, leaving Jason to walk behind you before also sitting with you. He left a text in the family group chat saying that you were with him and your location.
The silence stretched between both you, and despite the current circumstances, it didn't feel uncomfortable. The sea waves crash down, and you could hear the birds chirping far away.
“Y’know, my mom hated my eyes, she said they're just like Bruce.”- Jason turned to you, but didn't say anything.- “At the time, I hated it too, thinking if i didnt have them maybe mom would welcome more. But then, when I came to the manor and confided to Alfie about it, he brought me to the harbor.”
Eyes fixed in the sea, you kept going.
“He told me to look at it. The sky is blue and so is the sea, he gave me a new meaning. The reason I’m rambling about all of this is ‘cause with my sight getting deteriorated day by day, I can barely see them anymore. It hurts more than I care to admit.’
Jason sighed deeply with a knot forming in his throat.
“We are vigilants…”- He said calmly, afraid of dumpening even more in your mind.- “I died before knowing you.”
“I know…”
“Did you?”- he asked, a bit surprised.
“I don't know what is more ironic, you guys think I am dumb enough to not find out or how you overestimate your stealth ability.”
Jason left a small chuckle at the statement but soon got serious again.
“Joker killed me and-”
“Listen, it's not because I'm dying and that our relationship isn't in its best moment, that I want you to remember your trauma, okay?!”- You said fast, words barely making sense, which made Jason laugh a bit.
“Is not about trauma dumping, silly. Is that just… When i was dying i was so afraid, i was alone and that was the worst part of it, and knowing that you are going through this alone, hurts like hell.”- Jason turned his face to the sea again.- “I was supposed to be there for you, but you see, nobody taught me how to be a brother, actually there is only a bunch i know besides fighting and shooting, and that's not an excuse for neglecting you, is just that i thought that someone like me would be useless as your brother.”
For an instant the silence remained between the two of you, only the seagulls and the sea sound making its appearance. You didn't know what to say, you knew something had happened by all the arguing Bruce and Jason had, but it also had nothing to do with you. You came to the manor after all this happened and you did your best to bond with him, so it pained you that he could be a brother to all your other siblings and not you. Opening your mouth to answer, you were interrupted by his phone ringing, he answered the call and told you it was Alfred. It was time to go to the doctor.
The ride to the doctor was awkward to say the least. Alfred was driving, Bruce was on the passenger seat and beside you was Dick. It was supposed to be just you and the butler, but the other two insisted on coming. You looked through the window, being your best interest not looking at the gloomy feeling the car carried.
Alfred told that Dr. Thompkins was a really good professional, and that she wouldn't cross any boundaries with you, which eased your mind a bit.
After coming to her clinic, she explained to you all the procedures you're going under, making sure to keep you as comfortable as possible. The woman tried to keep her composure, but every time she examined and felt the weak response of your body she became uneasy.
In the waiting room, Alfred and Bruce sat and waited anxiously for the results, while Dick paced through the room. The results were the same you received along the many doctor visits you made, you carried no hope anymore and that's exactly what broke the woman's heart even more. To be so young and having no more hope to be fed.
“Darling, I’m going to talk with Bruce. Do you mind waiting here a bit?”
“Not at all, ma’am.”- You already knew what was to be said and you certainly didn't want to go through it again.
The woman gave you a small nod and got out of the room, leaving you there. Outside, whatever minimal hope Bruce had shattered the instant he saw Leslie's expression. His eyes throbbed, he had cried too much already and had a migraine, though he knew that what was coming over wasn't the end of his sorrow.
“I… I have never seen anything like this before, Bruce.”- She started with a trembling voice.- “You must have seen her body temperature right?! It's like her limbs are getting frozen.”
Sitting down in front of the man, so she could ground herself more, she continues.
“She already lost the movement of her arm, her throat doesn't swallow correctly and she's losing her sight. But the worst of it all, her organs are slowly freezing up too.”
Bruce couldn't hold anymore, his tears fell freely through his face. There was nothing he could do to save his baby. On his side, Alfred asked what all of them were afraid of.
“What is the amount of time left, Leslie?”- His hand trembled in his lap. To him you were like a granddaughter, one he cherished too much and that now he was going to lose.
Sighing, the woman turned her eyes down, she couldn't look him in the eyes.
“In the best case, a few months. In the worst, she could go at any moment.”
For the first time in a long, Alfred lost his composure. He excused himself, leaving the other three there and entering the room you were at.
Seeing Alfred's broken expression hurt more than you ever thought it would. His shoulders were down and the man couldn't keep his sobs to himself. Opening your arms, the older man didn't think twice before embracing your body.
“Alfie…”- The man hummed faintly, you head tucked under his chin.- “I thought that being on death's door, i could let go of everything, but god i resent them so much.”
This time, you started to sob, staining the man's shirt with your tears. His hand came to caress your hair.
“You have all the right too, child.”
“I did it all alone, none of them were there. So why am I important now? They don't have this right, Alfie”
“They don't, young miss. They don’t.”
You hollowed your heart through your tears, the man kept easing you. You thought you had already got enough of this, but somehow the pain was still there.
“Alfie.”
“Yes, young lady.”
“Do you remember my first birthday in the manor?! It was just the two of us.”
“I do remember.”
“You gave me a bunny doll…”- Tightening your arms around the butler, you hide your head in his torso. “I want to get buried with it. Please Alfie, don't let my body rot alone.”
His heart broke even more than already was.
“I shall do so, lady.”
There were a few times Alfred felt useless in his life, but nothing felt like this. If only he could carry all your pain, maybe his heart would be at ease, but for now only this hopeless pain remained.
summary : reader is put into emergency foster care after a tragedy , despite living with the Wayne family for a bit , reader takes it upon herself to move away and start anew since she clearly wasn't welcomed , after many years have passed Damian finally joins the family and after a particular spat w his father he finds himself in reader's room and an interest in them has sparked.
a/n : this story is a wip ( work in process )
part 2 , part 3 , part 4
Reader's POV
Beginning
Everyone knows biologically , a child needs a father and mother to come into existence . Growing up I had exactly that , a mother and a father . I had what many would consider a good childhood , a mom who brushed my hair everyday before I went to school , a mother who would have prepared meals and would have read me several stories . I had a father who would pick me up everyday and let me get a treat from the nearby parlor everyday after school. We certainly weren’t rich but we had enough to make do and I was content with it - I was content with my life until life struck.
My mother got laid off from her job - it was some run down mill cashier job at an old mechanics pit stop but it brought in money no matter how grimy the place was . I remember my younger self sat in front of the television when it was broadcasted - Joker , Prince of Gotham held three hostages at gunpoint in the shops and sadly despite Batman’s efforts , one hostage suffered a car falling onto their legs - crushing them instantly - the news anchor panned their camera onto the car and how it’s green front bumper was smeared in crimson blood.
Since then mom had been home while father went to work . It was fun at first , we had dinner earlier than usual , mom started back sewing and she even took up gardening since she loved planting tomatoes in our backyard garden . Everything was good but gradually - mom began feeling trapped like a bird in a cage . It started off slow - mum and dad arguing every night after dinner , sneering at each other as they walked past one another . It evolved into dad sleeping on the couch and mom sleeping in their bed . I was young and too naive - I assumed like the silly little girl I was , that mum and dad were just arguing about the dishes in the sink.
One day, it got extremely bad. It was a Tuesday morning and I had ran into mum’s arm’s , comb in hand, waiting for her to brush my hair like every other morning but instead she screamed at me to get out of her face . I ran away, of course, crying and brushing my own hair since then. Every day since that point had been utter agony - mother grew even more distant - began shouting , screaming at everything and everybody .Every day was a new struggle , she had no luck finding a new job, and there was no luck of her getting any better .
One day , dad just hugged me before he left out the front door . He kept muttering ‘sorrys’ and ‘i love yous’ and he kept weeping . I recall hugging him back , telling him it was okay, and he just smiled at me and left . He hadn't come back since. Mother grew furious that night, and for the first time - she screamed at me , blamed me , cursed me , cried about how I ruined everything, and then she choked me . I remember my young , frail body clawing at her tight grip desperately - pleading with her to let me go, but she didn’t let up . She kept squeezing me, and I remember going in between conscious and unconsciousness - I remember hearing police sirens blazing in front of our house.
I don't remember anything after that point . Memories were all a blur, but I recall a police officer handing me off to Mr. Wayne at his porch step. I remember the look of uncertainty, the look of pain and burden flashing in his eyes when he looked down on me . I remember him holding me by my elbow and guiding me through his foyer until he reached his butler.
I watched them both converse , the butler glanced at me every other moment. Eventually , Mr. Wayne leaves me alone with the butler and returns deeper into the mansion. The butler smiles down at me, though, and I just looked at him as he guides me down some halls and into a room.
It's been a full week , I've only ever known my room , the garden, and school. I haven't met anyone besides Alfred - the butler and my teachers. Alfred kept assuring me that I had brothers who would love to meet me and that my 'dad' , Mr.Wayne was busy, so I should bear him patience.
I hadn't really cared about Mr. Wayne's absence , as far as I considered my father, was out there somewhere and had left me, and I had no interest in having siblings. I hadn't told Alfred any of that, though - I had been silent since I had arrived here . Two weeks passed, and Alfred introduced me to someone named 'Ricard' , Mr. Wayne's eldest .
This Richard had given me a tight-lipped smile and a half hug that I didn't reciprocate . I could tell he felt uncomfortable and forced, and I respected his boundaries because I would of reacted the same way if I got introduced to my new supposed 'sibling' .
Alfred had told me that Richard lives away and visits when he can since he too has work . Since then, I haven't met anyone . Maybe if you count seeing Mr. Wayne walking in and out the foyer then maybe .
Months passed, and it's been the same process - I wake up , scarf down whatever Alfred makes , go to school , come home , sleep, and repeat. Now and again, Richard may perhaps drop by, but our meeting were just exchanging pleasantries before we go our own ways.
I was still mourning my parents. It's weird to mourn when they aren't dead. Today I had I.T class , meaning I had access to a laptop . Using what minimum sites I could , I dug up that my mother was admitted to Arkham asylum and was deemed ' mentally unstable ' . It's weird seeing her in that old , grimy straight jacket and her worn hands in silver cuffs . It's weird that she is the same person who used to bake me fresh cookies when I was sad and used to so attentively braid my hair everyday - It's weird to know that somehow my pure , kind mother somehow turned into what she is.
I hadn't found out nothing about my father - reports just suggested he moved to another city or somewhat - some speculated he manipulated her into the abuse - but I knew my father went far away to start a new life - a new life that hadn't involve me .
It stings every time I think about that, though , that my dad thought I was so much of a burden he had to leave me to start anew . A part of me loathes him - wants to tear him out , another part of me wants to cry and scream ' how could he ', but the biggest part of me has already grown numb to everything around me and has accepted the fact that it's better off being on your own.
Months continue to pass on - nothing really changed , I haven't 'bonded' with anyone at the mansion , Alfred keeps making excuses for their wariness and coldness. I discovered through him that recently, one of Mr.Wayne's children , Jason, had recently passed due to a mishap with the Joker . He hadn't gone into full detail, but I understood the pain and grief - the pain of losing your loved ones and having to bury them.
Days blurred into one another, but as recently, I have been seeing advertisements for a youth camp. It's new to be supposedly based in Russia and aims to teach children survival skills, and for some odd reason, it called out to me . I became further intrigued when on one particular evening , my English teacher pulled me across after class and handed me a pamphlet for it , I remembered her saying " I thought ...maybe you can use this Y/N maybe they can help you " . I remember taking it home and staring at it for a good while.
That same day - apparently we got a new member to the family named Tim , I saw him walk in the foyer , Mr. Wayne's hands practically draped over his shoulder with a proud 'dad' smile on his face . I exchanged pleasantries with both, but the Tim guy was giving me a dirty look .
After that night , after careful consideration, I decided to join this youth camp but in order to do so I would of course need money so that very nigh I applied to some jobs . A week passed since Tim and I didn't really get along . He kept glaring at me, and I just kept ignoring him .
Apparently he didn't like that and one morning when I was leaving for school he pulled me across and with a nasty snare said , " can't believe Bruce and I bust our asses every night protecting the city and people like you get to squander away - you know for someone who uses so much of Bruce's resources I don't understand why he hasn't gotten rid of you ".
I slapped him in response and walked out - I won't and don't tolerate shit - especially from someone so far up their ass . Alfred walked in on us in the foyer and began lecturing me on the spot, but I had a cold, hard look - challenging him . Alfred just tutted and carried us both to school.
Yes - apparently, this Tim person goes to the same school as me, and I had to listen to him nag Alfred about it on the way there . I rolled my eyes - seriously, he sounds like an entitled brat . Alfred dropped us off . The moment Tim stepped foot in school lots of kids approached him - probably because it was publicly known he was a Wayne , I on the other hand wasn't- hell I didn't even take his name I still kept my father's surname .
I left him and continued my day like normal, and after school, I went to my waitress job on the block. It's a quaint little cafe waitress job . It was nice and had good pay, so I wasn't too bothered. Of course, a week into my job and Tim had to already cause a scene .
The brat had to walk in with his group of little friends and had the audacity to demand I get them a table . I sat them down, took everyone's orders, and this man had to order some complicated shit with absurd add ins. Why order expresso and complain it's too bitter ?? Why order no flat decaf when decaf is already flat ? Why , when I explain to you , you snare at me .
The brat even had the audacity to say ' I was embarrassing the family by working here ' . I stepped on his foot, causing him to flinch and whispered to him , " Frankly I don't give a fuck what you or anyone thinks or has to say - you can frankly kiss my ass and see if I could care " and walked off .
He didn't leave a tip sadly and walked out of there with a nasty glare . I came home that evening and met Alfred, leaving out my dinner in my room , " Master Wayne restricts you joining dinner tonight since you are behaving too violent." I just gave him a look . For one pathetic of Tim to tattle to Daddy darest - another many reasons why I don't want siblings and secondly I've never joined anyone at dinner , I live and breathe in this room and unless the mansion is burning down I won't leave it to go anywhere unnecessary.
Months like this pass , Tim and I glaring at each other. Occasionally, Richard stops by to check on Mr. Wayne, or simply hang out with Tim and I was steadily saving money to go to this youth camp.
On my final day , I paid off for the youth camp registry and began packing my things - I simply began packing my clothes , I left behind any things deemed unnecessary like my record players , little nicks and knacks friends gifted me , the very painful photos of my parents and I and the home sewn clothes I once made in tech Ed.
Everything held very little value to me here , especially since I wanted a fresh start there . I packed my bags that night and left without a trace. Downtown Gotham was dangerous but had useful people for the wrong things. I carefully knocked on a banged up door and waited .
I heard a latch move itself and a wrinkly , obese man peers through at me . " What you want, kid?" he grunted . " A passport and a straightway ticket to Russia tonight," I say monotonous. He stared at me for a moment and left . Moments pass and he returns and slips me a passport and a ticket . I let our a small grun before slipping a $100 dollar bill in the latch before taking off in the night.
Training
Russia was cold - but for some odd , maybe sick and twisted way, I loved it . I loved the feeling of the cold nipping at my fingertips , I love the ghostly feeling when the cold air blows in you and I love the way it makes me feel alive .
The youth camp was a successful idea - marvelous even . Though many in my unit complained about how strenuous the training was , I enjoyed it . Every morning , from 4 am to 6 am , our mentors took us on a two hour long jog in the snowy forest of Cheremkhovsky .
It was hard at first , I had literally fainted on my first go, but as I eased into this , it became easier . After that jog , we had breakfast, and then we trained in our combat , hand to hand , handling weaponry such as guns and knives, etc.
My mentor , Kerry Lenz, took me under her wing when I joined . She saw my raw potential, my greedy need to feel alive and belonging . She had practically made me into what I am , a trained assassin .
While most of my peers were asleep in the dead of night , she took me out into the forest , regardless of whether it was snowing , raining, or a massive heatwave . There, under the start nights, she taught me the art of murder , she taught me how to effectively hide a body in plain sight and taught me how to read a person thoroughly , taught me how to stalk a prey and how to notice the tiniest details no matter how absurd .
She taught me like a mother hen would to her chick, and it made us closer. I came here to Russia at fourteen, and now here I am, graduating at eighteen into Russia's CIA program.
She kissed both of my cheeks that day and hugged me, and for once , I reciprocated it . " My beautiful rose , be the strong daring girl I taught you to be," She sobbed into my shirt . I smiled and hugged her , my eyes brimming with tears as I nuzzle into her shirt - her smell of rose scented perfume and Columbian cigar wafted into my nose .
" I promise to be that strong girl , mom," I promised her that day . She smiled at me and patted my shoulder . " hun , this life is a life you can't back away from , it digs its claws into you and keeps you hostage, promise me , you would not deter."
I nodded into her and tightened my hold on her . Since my graduation , I , out of the twenty five candidates at the youth camp , graduated into Russia's CIA task force . Our missions were never easy , every one we face the brutality of human nature - from sex traffic rings , child predators , serial killers to huge organizations abusing civilians , we were tasked to handle them all.
Every mission had its difficulty, a loss albeit one of our own or a victim, or maybe it's the mind-numbing pain of killing . Every mission had its fair share of shit but that didn't deter me one bit - I loved my job - I lived knowing that when I killed another child predator that I saved another child.
What's the use of arresting them in a system we're they are bound to be free and face no repercussions? Doing this job made me look at persons like Batman and his folk and a bit differently - he knowingly puts people like the Joker back into the Arkham asylum, knowing they'd break out and wreck havoc again.
Damian's p.o.v
If anyone told me that I of all people would feel out of place I would laugh at you . For my whole entire life - I've been a man sure of everything - down to the nitty things - I've been sure of everything.
I knew what I liked to eat , what shirt I wore with its specific pants , what show I like to watch , knew for certainty I wanted to be Robin but here - in this family I'm at a loss.
I'm always cleft confused and rather frustrated . My father's eldest , Dick , keeps lecturing me about how 'violent' my ways are , how I'm not suited to be Robin , that Robin is not 'violent'.
How is a boy supposed to believe the methods he's had instilled in him from birth are considered wrong - considered too orthodox. We both always argue - he always pushes me to my wits end . Today, though - today, he took it a notch further .
Today he involved father in our spat . It was a simple situation - a simple stake-out , a robbery being done in some small local supermarket , the robber noticed us before we noticed them and took off running and I had simply launched a batrang into his leg to stop him.
It led to the robber bleeding out in the road and almost dying, but wasn't the objective met ? Father and Dick seemed to think otherwise considering I was berated for it for fifteen minutes straight.
But what got me was when dick said , " You're a monster like your mother." I literally launched myself at him - almost prying out his eyes but father managed to pull me off and send me off to my room with a glare.
I didn't go to my room - I was far too angry, so I just roamed around the mansion . I have never been to this side of the mansion - to be fair, I don't even think Alfred ventures down here, but somehow - the quiet halls bring a bit of peace to me .
I walked down a hall and stopped at a door left abit ajar - weird I thought all doors in this house automatically closed . Approaching it , I carefully opened the door and peer in , inside - inside looked like a bedroom.
The bed looked like it was purposely shoved up against the window , it only had two pillows but frankly sat plush in-between them was a small plushie of a penguin. The room held minimum decor - whoever lived here may have been a minimalist or has long since moved on .
It had a quaint dark oak desk covered in dust and had several stacks of books that looked well used . Next to it was a wardrobe in matching oak that had a red,very worn , backpack hung on it's round handle . The room had a vanity , a cute miniature white one that every little girl must dream off , it held a simple comb and hair ties in a singular cup but the mirror was covered in old polaraid pictures.
So someone definitely lived here - but who ? I've seen Dick's room , even though he isn't here often Alfred cleans it and he has those stupid posters all over , it can't be Tim's either because his room is all dark and has a bunch of clothes strewn around , it's clearly a girl's so Cassandra? No she's too neat for this - steph ? No , I remember her decorating her room with pink frilly ribbons last Christmas- Jason? - no so then who -
" I see you've come across y/n's room " comes a sudden voice behind me . Turning around , I am met with Alfred, who looks around the room so - so sullen ? " Pennyworth, why such a cres- fallen face ?" I enquire . Alfred looks everywhere but me .
" This is y/n's bedroom " he says as he steps in. " y/n ?" I ask perplexed - father - hell no one has mentioned y/n to me ever .
summary : batfam enjoy each other's presence while Alfred and Bruce silently mourns your death.
part 2 of die young
part 3 of die young
in another universe
Dick sit's down and eyes his family with a warm smile as he looks at his siblings with a loving look - they've all came so far and they all deserved this moment of blissful peace . He observes Tim and Damian engrossed in some random videogame , duke was painting steph's nails while she shows him random memes on her phone while jason and cass are talking about the latest anime they watched .
Everyone is happy , including himself because he's back home , surrounded with the people he holds so dear to his heart. Alfred approaches him with a fresh pan of brownies . Dick quickly snatches three portions and flash Alfred a smile , " Thanks Alfie !!" he exclaims . Alfred nods and rest the pan on a nearby table . " Hey Alfred when is Bruce coming back ?" Jason randomly asks . Alfred glances at his watch , " In approximatly one hour Master " . Jason groans. " That's so longggg besides why is he always disappearing off these days ?"
Alfred takes a moment to compose himself - he desperately tries to swallow the underlying pain he feels bubbling inside before he answers , " He always has board meetings around this time Master " , his tone wavering in the slightest yet unnoticeable. Jason rolls his eyes - annoyed but understanding and was about to retort but gets distracted when Cass shows him something on her phone.
Alfred excuses himself and makes a beeline escape to the outside patio . In the quiet stillness of the manor , when the eloquent halls are empty , when the kids are enveloped in their own innocent warmth , Alfred takes his time to shed a silent lone tear as he grieves . God knows , knows that every night when his worn palms are intertwined as he mutters a silent pray - that he's praying that your soul is safe and happy wherever it is - that your watching over him and this family with your silly smile and wrapping them in your soft , delicate hugs as you shield them away from the evil that tore you apart from them.
Meanwhile Bruce sits in his office chair - the room dark and quiet save for the occasional hum of the AC . His workers long since left hours ago , his work long finished and laid discarded on his desk . Bruce was a man that planned for everything , whether he was doing business or simply being Batman , he had plans and preparations for everything but parenting - he swears no matter what he does he can never ever fully plan .
He never planned on adopting Tim , Jason , Dick and Cass , never planned on being Steph or Duke guardians or hell never plans on having his son, Damian. None of it mattered because he would never ever regret having them in his life . He has read so many parenting books over his years , learning how to carter to each one of them but none of them prepared him to bury a child.
There is no feeling in this world that comes as gut retching , as tragic , as painful as the feeling of a parent burring their child . The memory is fresh in his head - the view of your small body - mangled beyond recognition - save for the pretty pink princess dress he dressed you in to go to preschool - your own blood covered you - like a blanket - a last ditch attempt to protect you from the harshness of the world .
Your once glowing big eyes that always looked at him with excitement now stare at him with a dull , blank look . He remembers cradling your small frame into his chest as the world around him crumble apart , as it slips through like sand slipping away to the ocean whenever the tides crash onto the shore . He remembers crying when he felt the bullet holes in your chest against his own. He holds your cold body close , cradling your head into his neck like he always do when he tucks you in to sleep . He lips memorized the way it kept muttering " it's okay baby daddy's got you , it's okay " .
He held your body until the police arrived and had to confiscate it . For the first and last time - Bruce lashed out at them - where were they when the school called in an active school shooter - where were they ? What was more important than saving his daughter's life ? He remembers screaming at them and Alfred having to hold him back . Alfred had to make the difficult decision to shove Bruce into the car to stop him from attacking the officers even though he himself wanted to confront them.
That night the manor for the first time was silent - Alfred was opening his fifth bottle of whisky in his room as he drowns himself in his own misery - he misses his grandbaby so much - he knows you hate seeing grandpa so sad and miserable - would always climb up on his bed and offer him your plushie as you gave him a big old kiss but you aren't here to do that anymore so he downs another after another.
Bruce sat on the floor of your room that night , the pastel walls filled with polaroid pictures of all three of you , his eye caught one - you were sitting on his shoulders , you wore a wide grin on your face , arms outstretched as you held a cone of ice cream he got you . He looked so happy there , hair tousled from your antics but he wore a smile . That day you were offering him your ice cream because you claimed " ice cream is the bestest thing in the entire world !".
He sobbed into his hands - why - why must the world be so cruel to him ? Why must the world take away his parents ? Why must the world take you away ? Does he not deserve happiness ? Does he not deserve to have hope ? Why must only he suffer ? Why out of all the children in that preschool the shooter chose to shot you ?
Was it because you were a small kind thing and had pushed your classmate out of harms way and took that hit ? Was it because you were too caring for your own good so you cradled your classmate's crying form into yours while you bled out ? Was it because you were you ? Did anyone ever thought in that moment to help you when the shooter yanked you away from your classmate and began to beat your small frame with his gun ? Did no one stop him from mangling your form ?
Did anyone care to step in before he shot you in your stomach a few times and left your body to be ensnared by death's cold fangs? Did anyone care to listen to your last words ? Did anyone catch the way you softly whimpered papa and grandpa - too scared , confused , too engulfed in pain to understand what was happening - just a small child searching for her family because that's all you knew ?
He curses that blasted teacher everyday - how could she let a child face that ? How could she huddle the other kids closer to her - leaving you to face that monster alone ? He wants to grab her and brutally rip the life out of her lungs - he doesn't care that she was pregnant and stressed and was doing 'her best' - what makes her unborn child and those other children more important than you ?
Another anguished sob leaves him and he remains there , crying his eyes out til the dawn breaks upon the world again. He hated that moment the most - of course that morning the sky had to shower upon them all a strong storm - strong winds that destroyed rickety rooves - practically plucking them from their houses like it was nothing . Strong , heavy rains that flooded the earth , a desperate rebuttal to wash away the scum of the world.
Alfred and Bruce stood together side by side as they watch a small casket descend into the depths of the earth . The priest practically choked on his tears during his prayer - Bruce feels himself going numb all over again - just life when his parents left him - he feels himself succumbing to the darkness and emptiness that reside inside him.
He shovels dirt onto your grave , each movement engraves a knife deeper in his chest - further solidifying the fact that you were gone and never ever coming back . He will never get back the sound of your cute giggles , never receive your colorful doodles of Alfred and himself , never get the opportunity to carry you on his shoulders , never get to experience you going to high school , you getting to experience you bring home your first boyfriend , the feeling of being overbearing and overprotective of his little girl going out with some guy , never get to experience watching you graduate high school , never get to experience you going to university and hear you complain about how annoying your professor is , never get to experience being happy and celebrating you getting your dream job and he would never ever get to experience watching you get married to the love of your life .
He would never get to experience any of this because you were never coming back home to Alfred or him . Bruce pulls up to the drive way of his home . His hand falls to his side as he watches out of the window and glances at the shrubbery. He misses you so much - he wonders all the time if you would love your adopted siblings - if you'd doodle all of them with your scented crayons and hang them up on the fridge , he wonders if you'd love petting Titus with Damian , if you'd play tea party with the girls , if you'd chase Jason down the halls with Tim and Dick because he stole your plushy -
He wonders if you'd love them , wonders if your watching over them - if you are proud that after you died he became the Bat ? Wonders if you would be proud that Alfred stopped drinking for you because he didn't want his little girl to be sad . He exits his car , his hands clutches the stuffed white bear in his hand and the other holds the bouquet of tulips and sunflowers.
He takes the long walk to the family cemetery , recalls all the funny conversations you both had - like how you thought the sun followed you in the car - maybe it did because whenever he was with you things were brighter . Even now , as he stands in front of your grave , the sun set behind you like a golden crown , its soft orange and pink hues , your favorite colors , paint the sky . Bruce sits near your grave and begins to talk to you ,
" Hey sweet girl how are you ? ......Daddy and Grandpa misses you alot sweet girl ...we miss you alot .....did you know grandpa made your favorite brownies today ? He made your own pan because he knows you loved them ....Daddy brought you a new stuffie and your favorite flowers ? You can name him whatever you want sweet girl .....I see grandpa left you a princess crown - I bet you love the pink glitters don't you sweet girl ? Daddy knows your still the prettiest princess no matter where you are . I miss you so much sweet girl - I wish you were here hunny - wish I could get more of your warm hugs - Wish you were still here with me - with us "
Everything goes silent for a long time , Bruce stays , embracing your comfort . Bruce watches as the sun full set behind the distant trees , the world now engulfed in darkness . He gets up , wiping away the lone stray tears on his face as he prepares to face his family.
He gathers himself and looks at your grave one last time , " Daddy loves you sweet girl stay safe for me okay ?" and with that Bruce leaves , heart heavy and longing .
summary ━ au in which older, sister reader !! takes care of toddler damian .
⤿ fluff , clingy , toothing aching fluff₊⊹
pt.1
crds to endure_gif for the art
╰› it was a peaceful saturday morning for damian , today he gets his amazing , incredible sister all to himself , undisturbed by work and he also gets to cuddle with her and watch wild krats. damian carefully holds up his ipad as his show drones on , one arm holds the screen while the other latches on to name's arm.
╰› name was fast asleep as it is currently six in the morning and she had only fallen asleep around four . everything was peaceful - something straight out of those american dream movies when all of a sudden name's phone goes off.
╰› her ring tone practically pierces through the peaceful silence leaving a sour taste in his mouth. damian began to fuss around and cry abit - he hates the sound of name's ringtone - it always means name is taken away from hom and he's left alone.
╰› beside him name groggily wakes up , instictively pulling damian to her chest to which he immediatly nuzzled into her neck for comfort . name's hand outstretched onto her nearby nightstabd and roughly yanked her phone away from it's charger.
╰› " hello ?" name's groggy voice murmurs into her phone as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes . " GOOOD MORNING ~" answered a sing song voice that immediately made damian cringe. he recognized that stupid , annoying , grating voice anywhere - it was Conner Kent , supposed 'lovechild' of Clark and Luthor who has taken upon himself to insert himself into his family.
╰› now damian didnt care at first - since conner was only here because he was on the same team as tim and worked with dick but he certainly did start to care when the bastard had the audacity to start flirting with HIS SISTER . absolute blasphemy , a cardinal sin , a threat to humanity .
╰› "kent it is six in the morning what do you want ..?" name asked , voice annoyed as her hand mindlessly began to ruffle with damian's hair. damian snuggled closer , his arms practically gripped onto her t shirt as he angerily stared at her phone.
╰› " wellll you know how we are on that mission together ? welllllll... i forgot some details sooooo i thought we can catch up over breakfast !" conner asked , voice hopeful. name just stared blankly into the distance - her brain trying to process the situation meanwhile damian just glared even harder into the phone.
╰› " kent....you made the plan ....what do you mean you forgot ?" name trailed off and damian can feel his face turning red - how dare this idiot interrupt his time with his sister for something so ridiculous. Conner akwardly laughs on the other side .
╰› " ahahahahaha so funny ...uhh can you just meet me in mc donalds ? " he akwardly stammers out. damian can feel a headache forming and he hasn't even spoken to Todd or Drake yet. " alright....just know dami's comming with me " name murmurs out , still sleepy.
╰› " namiee" damian babbles as he hugged her around the neck , greatful she was taking him with her and not leaving him in bruce's care - god knows he can't take care of himself much less for a kid. " ahh that's alright !!! i got jon with me maybe they can have a playdate while we have a data !" conner rambles. damian mouth turned into a frown - how dare that worthless idiot attempt to date HIS sister and also have the balls to stick him with his other dumbass version of himself.
╰› " shut up kent " name says uninterested as she cuts the call short and tosses her phone elsewhere. she looks down and was greeted with damian's small frown. " namie " he complains , " mhmm i know dami , i know but it seems important " name says as she caresses his face. damian pouts at this , " namieee" he once again complains and name just softly laughs and kisses him on his chubby cheeks , " i love you too hun".
╰› within thirty minutes , name sits in her black red porche , parked outside of a run down mc donalds , name is dressed in a beautiful green sun dress , her hair is left open , face with minimal makeup , gold accesories and of course chimmy choo heels.
╰› damian is in a matching green sweater , black pants and channel shoes . he busies himself on his ipad as name shoots conner a text on her phone.
╰› name takes out damian by his booster seat and locks her car , " namieee" damian complains , already hating everything about this. name sighs , " i know bud it's just for a little bit ". with that name walks them along inside the mc donalds , immediatly the were hit with the scent of stale air and fries .
╰› name glances around the busy restaurant and immediately clocks conner and jon by a nearby table and made her way there. " morning kent " name addresses as she approaches the table , " morning name - looking gorgeous as ever and uhh..hi damian" conner trails off. in his booster seat - damian send the man a scowl that would make a grown man cry , he hates everything already and is hoping name just straight says this was a stupid prank and take him back home so that they can resume their cuddle session.
╰› name slides into the seat across from jon and conner , setting damian's booster seat right next to her . " hiii aunty name !!" jon cheerfully greets her . jon eagerly waves her down and excitedly shows her his toy truck. " hi jon , nice truck you got there " name says excitedly . damian frowns and begins to cry abit , not enjoying the fact that his sister is giving some random child attention.
╰› name immediatly snaps back towards him and remives him from his booster seat and begins cradling him in her arms , " its okay dami , it's okay " she murmurs as she presses a kiss into his cheek. " namieee" damian whines out as he snuggles into her neck , not before sending a glare towards jon.
╰› " ahahahaha...... how about we let them go play in the play area while we order and talk hmm name ?" conner asks , smile bright . damian frowns - he is not letting that mutt spend any minute with her alone - over his tiny body. he immediatly begin to fuss and tighten his hold around name .
╰› " damian seems like he doesn't wanna go - but it's alright we wre just going over the details for the plan right ?" name says , tilting her head. A flash of disapppintment flashes through Conner's face , " yeahh not like this was a date or something " he murmurs but it was swallowed into the abyss when Jon began his rambling.
╰› " i want nuggiess and - and the toy !! " jon rambles on happily , immediatly lighting up the damper mood on the table. " i think this is a sign to order , what do you guys want ?" name asks as she picks up the menu . " hapoy meal ! happy meal ! " jon excitedly chants , arms raised in the air.
╰› name smiles at that before turning to the sulking damian in her arms , " what do you want damian ?" she asks . damian nuzzles into her , he never really likes mc donalds but for name's sake he'll eat something. " namiee " he answers after a while of thinking . " alright i'll get you a happy meal too , Con what about you ?" name asks , turning her attention to said male which makes damian frown.
╰› " uhhhhh sausage mcmuffin and the big breakfast with hot cakes oh and - add an iced coffee to that please " conner finishes his order . " alright i'll be back - just watch dami for me " name says before taking off. " namieee !" damian calls after her but it was too late she was already in the line for the cashier.
╰› the table gets akward . jon is busy playing with his truck to care , conner is trying to be nonchalant and scroll through his phone but it's really hard when your crush's baby brother keeps shooting daggers at you. he really tries to play it off as him being a baby - but seriously damian depsite being three , looks like he is ready to lunge a knife into his throat.
╰› name comes back and damian immediatly takes it upon himself to latch onto her . " alright what did i miss ?" name asks , breathless. conner looks over to damian , who was already looking at him murderously , " uhhh nothing - nothing " he stumbles out. name shrugs it off and takes out some crayins and a book out of her bag. " who wants to color ?" and immediatly jon and damian looks excited.
╰› for the rest of the while , jon and damina colored - well more like jon kept coloring out of line and making up his own thing while damian was focused on enuring his side portion looked neat. conner and name conversed back and forth - about their mission and it's details - again more like name was talking because conner was just staring at her with hearts in his eyes.
╰› sooner than later , a waitress brings over their order , " well aren't you all a cute couple and such cute kids you got together !" the waitress exclaimed. name eyes practically shot open while conner's face was a deep shade of red . " t-thanks " he stammered out before the waitress walked away.
╰› damian was horrified - it was like he was living in a nightmare - kent ? conner kent married to his sister ? hell no . not happening , it is never going to happen , plus they don't even look like a couple - hell they have nothing in common .
╰› damian chews on his fries angerily , still glaring at conner while jon recalled how he picked corn yesterday to name who was eagerly listening to him - practically tunning those two out. conner doesn't knkw what to do - he is a man great with kids , everyine loves him but damian ? lord damian hates him to the core.
╰› and to make things worse of course the one kid who hates him happens to be his crush's baby brother !! i mean come on how is he supposed to make a good impression on name ? conner continues to eat his breakfast quietly . " - and then papa let us roast it on the stove and ma put butter on it and we ate it for dinner !!" jon says excitedly as name nods.
╰› " mhmm very proud of you jon for helping your ma pick corn , that was very brave of you hun" name praised. conner can't help but blush at this and when he recalls what the waitress said , they do really look like a married couple eating out with their sons - i mean she treats jon like her own and shes so gorgeous and effortless when she does it .
╰› sooner than later , to conner's dismay their 'date' ended and now he'a walking name and damian back to their car , jon settled on his hip - a show of his strength. name unlocks her car and turns to conner , " today was really nice conner thank you " she said , voice soft and conner swears he can feel his heart beating out of his chest.
╰› " a-anytime name " he stammers as he leans down to her slowly . conner finds himself getting lost in her eyes and how soft her lips look that he doesn't even realize he's inches away from her. before he can even kiss her - a short , chubby hand sticks out and covers his mouth abruptly . " namie " complains damian as he sends a sharo glare towards conner.
╰› how dare such a cave man attempt to kiss kiss his sister in some stinky parking lot - how absurd. connee akwardly coughs while name laughs - damian on the other hand ? pissed beyond anything. " ahahaha uhm- so uhm bye name !" conner exclaims as he turns on his heal and beelines to his own car - too embrassed to stick around.
╰› " byeee aunty name !!" jon squeals after her as conner chucks the kid into his car , " byee jon !!!" name chuckles out . damian scowls at conner's figure getting into the car while name sets him back in his booster seat. name leans down and kisses him , " since you behaved so well wanna go to the zoo dami ?" she askes while she buckles him in.
╰› " namiee " damian answers as he tore his gaze from conner back to his sister. he just thankful he doesnt have to have kent's idiocy and gets to be with his sister again.
