You sit on the floor for hours contemplating your next move. Do you try to call him and convince him to come home and talk? Do you give him time and wait for him to come home on his own? Do you just pack up your stuff and leave without saying anything? Your head and your heart are telling two different things. A part of you hopes that Niall just needs time to process your pregnancy and is going to walk back in the door at any moment. Another part of you says that Niall isn't coming back, that he made his decision to walk away from you and your baby. Once that reality sets in, you make the decision to leave. If Niall decided to walk away, you weren't going to stick around and try to convince him to stay. You grab a couple of suitcases and set about packing essentially your whole life into the bags before setting your engagement ring on the kitchen table and walking out.
Three Days Later...
Niall calls you nonstop for three days. He leaves voicemails filled with apologies and texts filled with I love yous and please come backs. He wanted a chance to explain, a chance to make things right and reassure you that he was in it for the long haul. A part of you wants to believe him, you want to believe that he is saying what he means. Another part of you though can't help but wonder if he will run out again once things become a little more real. Right now, you aren't showing but what happens once you do start to show? And what about once the baby is finally here? Is he going to run out again? You don't think you can handle being run out on twice. After a couple more days and against your better judgment, you call Niall back. You want to get the rest of your stuff, making it abundantly clear to Niall that whatever relationship you had was basically over and that the only thing connecting the two of you was the fact that you were having his baby. He tried to convince you to meet him for lunch, to hear him out but you weren't ready for that yet. All you wanted to do was grab your things and move on or at least try to which is why you're standing in front of what used to be your dream home with an empty box and a broken heart. Walking inside the first thing you notice are the empty takeout containers scattered around everywhere. The containers mean that Niall isn't eating properly, something that you two used to get into small arguments about as you thought that he should eat better if he was going to put long hours in at the studio. Sighing, you grab a trash bag and go about cleaning the place up a little bit. It may not be your job anymore, but you can't stand the thought of your dream home turning into a disaster zone full of Chinese takeout. Once that's finished, you head upstairs to grab the rest of your stuff. You hadn't left much, just some clothes and other random odds and ends that were important to you. Halfway down the hallway, something catches the corner of your eye. Niall's office door usually stayed closed when he wasn't in it. However, this time the door was wide open. Figuring that Niall just forgot to close it, you go to close the door and freeze. The office isn't an office anymore...it's a nursery or the beginnings of one. Niall had started to turn the room into a music-themed nursery. There were old records and album covers all over the wall and ceiling. There was also one of Niall's old guitars on the wall along with some of your favorite song lyrics. You can't help the tears that spring to your eyes as you take it all in. Niall really was in it for the long haul. You're so absorbed in everything that you don't hear Niall enter the room.
"I know it may not be what you had in mind. I just thought that since we both love music so much, it would be perfect for our little one," he says.
"Niall, I..."
He cups your face, "I'm an idiot for running out on you. I just...I got scared. A baby is a big deal and the thought of being a father terrifies me. But the thought of losing both of you terrifies me more than anything else. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I let the two of you get away because of my own stupid fears. I love you and when I proposed to you, I promised that I would be there no matter what comes our way. This is included in that promise, and I swear to you that I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this all the way, love. I want to grow old with you and watch our little one grow up...if that's still what you want."
You squeeze his hand, "Niall, your fears aren't stupid. I know you're scared; I'm scared too. This is probably the scariest thing that I'm ever going to do, but I'm going to do it. Yeah, it's a bit sooner than we originally planned and yes, we know absolutely nothing about being parents, but we'll learn. We have your parents, my parents, and all our other family members to help us figure it out. I want to grow old with you and raise a family but if you're not sure..."
Niall cuts you off with a kiss, "I'm sure, love. I'm absolutely sure. There is nothing I want more. I'll do whatever it takes to convince you of that. I know it might take a while for you to trust me again and that's okay because I'm going to earn your trust back. I'm going to earn the honor of asking you to marry me again."
"Niall..."
"I ran out on you, our baby, and our future. I'm not running anymore and while I would love for everything to go back to the way it was, I know that can't happen...not yet. I'm not going to pretend I didn't hurt you. I won't slip that ring back on your finger until you think I've earned the right. I won't..."
This time you cut Niall off with a kiss, "just put the ring back on my finger so we can move on with the rest of our lives. We have a nursery to finish and a wedding to plan."
Niall smiles before taking your engagement ring out of his pocket and slipping it back on your finger. He kisses your hand and brings it to cover his heart.
"I love you."
"We love you too," you say as Niall places his free hand over your stomach and the two of you turn back to the nursery.
A/N: And that's part 2! Sorry about the long wait folks! Also here's the nursery!
Stepping off the jet fifteen hours later, Niall is smacked in the face with heat and humidity. It’s so bright here in Honolulu, Hawaii, compared to London. He loves it, and he’s already prepared for the weather difference – he had changed on the plane into shorts and a tank top. Ellie’s adorned in a similar outfit.
She smiles at him, hair tucked into a neat bun on the top of her head. Their luggage is being loaded into the hotel limousine that’s been provided. Apparently, it comes with the room. It’s a nice surprise; Niall hasn’t looked into the trip too much, deciding to wait and see.
“Ready?” Ellie asks, and he takes her hand. They descend from the plane and are ushered into the cool air of the limo. They sit, and Niall turns to look out the window. The trees are a lush green, and, off in the distance, a jewel-toned ocean awaits. He’s been here before, so he knows that everything is gorgeous here, which is part of the fun. There isn’t an ugly part of Hawaii. Even the volcanoes have an edged, dangerous beauty to them.
The driver takes off once their luggage is loaded, and Niall leans back into his seat. The ride is about twenty-five minutes, and then the limo stops in front of the Halekulani Hotel, right beside Waikiki Beach. It’s breathtaking here, so much so that when he gets out of the limo, he nearly comes to a standstill. Only Ellie’s hand on his arm keeps him moving forward.
Niall has seen a lot throughout his over-a-decade-long career. He’s seen a lot of beautiful things, and a lot of the ugliness that permeates the world. It’s taught him some valuable lessons: what he does and gets to see is a privilege few get, something he works to acknowledge often. He has opportunities many wish for. And, lastly, there is beauty and grace in everything, and it’s necessary to not only see it, but appreciate it as well. This is the time and place for such appreciation.
Ellie leads him inside while the porters take care of their suitcases. They check in at the front desk, where Niall learns they’re staying in the Orchid Suite. An attendant shows them where it’s located, and all he can think when he walks in is that this might be the most beautiful hotel he’s ever stayed at.
True to its name, the Orchid Suite is filled with pots of orchids, ranging from white to purple and everything in between. The whites have a purple core, and some of the purples are speckled and striped with yellow. Each and every one of them is beautiful. There’s an intimate living room directly past the entranceway that they’re standing in, and beyond that is a lanai. A blue sky melds with an even bluer ocean just past the gardens decorating the ground outside of the lanai.
Niall is only half-aware of the porter dropping off their suitcases. Ellie tips him, and it’s that action that snaps him out of the daze he’s in.
“I’ll race you to the bedroom,” he grins, and then takes off, running as fast as he’s able. He swings a right after a glance to the left shows a dining area and a doorway that has more couches past it. He guesses correctly, but Ellie speeds past him and into the master bedroom, before throwing herself on top of the king-sized bed in the middle.
There’s still plenty of space with her spread-eagled on top of it, so Niall lays down beside her, groaning as his muscles sink into the plush comforter and the mattress beneath it.
“You’re such an old man,” she grins at him and reaches over to poke him. He chuckles at the jab, and then snatches her wrists and rolls on top of her, grinning wildly down at her. Ellie’s smile softens until she’s looking tenderly up at him, despite the fact that he has her completely pinned down beneath him. “I love you.”
Niall leans down and pecks her lips, before purposefully bumping her nose with his, making her giggle. “I love you too, dork.”
Ellie laughs, and then pushes her body up against his, wiggling to try and shove him off. “Get off, you ass!”
They’re both giggling and red in the face when the tussle ends a few minutes later, eyeing each other in a playful way, just in case one decides to start it up again. When nothing happens, Niall let’s his shoulders slump and he sighs. “So…what should we do now?”
He likes that phrase. It sounds like they’re on an adventure, which they most definitely are, but an interesting one compared to the old ‘life is an adventure’ saying people like to tout when they’re bored.
Ellie rubs at her tummy and then glances down at his, eyes narrowed. On cue, his stomach grumbles, and Niall realizes that he’s starving. “I suppose that answers your question,” she laughs and stands up from the bed. “Want to get some lunch and then go to the beach?”
Niall nods and gets up from the bed, searching throughout the suite for their suitcases. They’re right next to the front door, and he takes the handles and pulls them both in. Ellie pushes hers down and starts going through it there on the floor, searching for a swimsuit and a to wear coverup at the restaurant. He sets his on the bed and opens it there, grabbing a pair of swim trunks and a white t-shirt to wear over it.
They change, him into those swim trunks and the t-shirt, and Ellie into a dark red bikini with a sheer white coverup on top, and a floppy hat.
“You look like a tourist,” he snorts and flicks the side of it. It wobbles on top of her head.
She sticks her tongue out at him. “I am one.”
They head off to lunch, hand-in-hand, with a bag full of towels and sunscreen slung on Ellie’s shoulder. After wandering around, slightly lost and amazed and unwilling to admit the former but definitely the latter, they decide on eating at a restaurant on the premises called Orchids. It’s fitting, given their suite.
Orchids is serving lunch, which is a two-course meal they get to select. Niall is immediately overwhelmed and excited, because this is the kind of food he occasionally dreams about. He’s not a bad cook himself, but he knows this is going to be delicious no matter what he orders. After long minutes of contemplation, Niall orders Maccheroni Bolognese and a spinach salad, and Ellie decides on the Tagliolini Alle Vongole.
And life is good. They eat their lunches with the sound of waves crashing on the beach providing a melody, and maybe they drink a little wine even though it’s only two in the afternoon, and they enjoy themselves.
Because that’s what Ellie and Niall do best. They live, and they love, and they enjoy all of the in between.
“Your face looks so blurry,” Ellie murmurs, and Niall smiles, tries to readjust his phone so maybe the picture isn’t so bad. She’s sleepy, her eyes half-lidded with exhaustion, but he’s wide awake. He treasures these moments, uses them to get through his day – okay, he doesn’t have to get through his day, because he loves almost every minute of being on tour, but these videocalls are something to look forward to.
“Sorry,” he apologizes, squinting at the bright light of his screen in the near-dark of his room. “Is that better?”
“Yes,” she answers softly, and then she adjusts herself on her bed, pulling her blankets closer. They cover a majority of her face, and he chuckles at the sight of her. “How was the show?”
His chest swells with pride. They had concludedtheir first of two shows in Dublin, Ireland, only an hour and a half ago, and it had been incredible. Being in his country, singing with his mates, and watching hispeople show up and give their all…it was incredible. “I’ve never been prouder to be Irish,” he laughs, the sound echoing in the large space of his hotel room.
“Good,” she replies, the vowels softened by the sleep in her voice. Despite his assurances that she didn’t need to, Ellie had set an alarm for the middle of the night to give him a call. So here they are, talking to no one but each other in their own solitary darkness. It makes his heart pound in his chest like it did earlier on stage.
Niall is falling in love with her, and god, he knows it, recognizes it with every breath his lungs take.
He doesn’t think she knows, though.
“How was your class today?” Niall asks, straining to remember what day of the week it is and if she had class at all. On tour, it gets like that. He’s constantly traveling and hustling and singing, in so many different places, that Mondays and Tuesdays fade to the back of his mind. It’s like a long break from school, but he’s working and playing.
Ellie smiles like she knows something he doesn’t. “It was good. I have a project due next week…it still feels so surreal to me. That I’m here, in England, instead of back home.” Her lips part, and she hesitates. “I…I wish you were here with me.”
There’s something so raw and vulnerable about that statement, combined with the tiredness hanging on her face, that makes him pause. Niall’s glad that it’s dark, because he can feel the blush on his cheek, and in the daylight, it would be ten times more prominent. “I wish I was too.” He replies gently, and it’s true. He would give almost anything for her to be here. He’s lucky she’s even in England, and not back in America. Thatwas rough for him, rough in a way that told him how important she was to him already. It had confirmed for him fully the extent of his unrequited feelings.
Ellie smiles a real smile then, not tainted by exhaustion. “And you will be, soon.”
It’s not exactly true: they don’t get a break until June, and it’s a short one, barely a week. It’s the beginning of March now. But it’s little white lies like this that make the ache in his chest fade into the background.
“Soon,” Niall promises, and remembers the times they had when she had moved to Harlaxton College over the winter. The laughter, the drinking, the good times. How full his soul had felt. “Soon.”
Niall is already sunburnt, and they haven’t even been in Hawaii for twenty-four hours yet. He groans, lying face down on the bed, as Ellie snickers and rubs Aloe Vera into his back.
“You’re an idiot,” she says, and not for the first time. There’s a certain smugness to her tone that makes him want to do naughty things to make her pay for it, but her hands on his back are so soothing that he can’t muster the energy to flip her over. “I told you to put more sunscreen on. I even offered to get out of the water with you, so I could spray your back.”
Niall lifts his hand up and flips her off.
He’s also slightly tipsy – there was a bar near the beach, and what’s a man to do when there’s alcohol a-plenty?
She lets out a startled laugh. “Oooh, you do realize you are incredibly vulnerable right now, right? I could smack your back and you would be on fire.”
Niall’s quiet, conceding to her point. Ellie clicks her tongue, then leans down and presses a tiny kiss to the bare, unburnt skin of the left side of his shoulder. “I would never do that to my husband, though. The vows I made to you prevent it.”
“So lucky I married you,” he grumbles, “just so I could know that you won’t beat me up.”
She laughs, and then he feels her hands leave his back, only to be replaced by a gush of cool air. She’s fanning him. Niall almost tears up.
“What did I do to deserve you?” he asks, ridiculously emotional about the fact that his wife, after coating him in a layer of Aloe Vera, is now fanning him.
“You loved me.” Ellie answers simply, and he turns his head to look at her and smile. “You loved me, and you supported me, through almost the entirety of us knowing each other. That’s why you deserve me. Because you are kind, and good, and so fucking incredible, Niall.”
Now it seems like Ellie is tearing up. Niall pushes himself up, hissing at how his skin crinkles with the movement, but looks back at her in concern. “Babe, are you okay?”
Her lip trembles slightly, but she nods her head and leans into kiss him. He closes his eyes as the softness of her lips meet his and reaches up to cup her cheek. Ellie leans into his touch, smiling into the kiss, and then breaks away. “I’ve got to get this swimsuit and salt off,” she says softly, giving him a ‘what can you do?’ sort of shrug and an easy smile.
Niall smiles and relaxes back on the bed, listening as she climbs off of the bed and pads into the bathroom. Only moments later, he hears the pitter-patter of water hitting the tile, and how the pattern changes when she steps inside a few seconds later. He dozes to the sound, mind drifting, the sting of his sunburn a background sensation only.
When the water stops, however, his eyes fly open. Letting out a quiet groan, he turns and sits up to look at the bathroom. Ellie comes out a few minutes later, hair wet but towel-dried, and utterly naked.
Niall likes to appreciate beauty everywhere he goes. It never gets old. And, he knows as he looks at her, that he will never be tired of appreciating her, either. It’s a thought he has every time something like this happens. He could just sit here and look at her forever, but he wants more, too. He wants to run his fingers down the soft flesh of her tummy and sides, feel the swells of her breasts. He wants to kiss every inch of her, over and over again.
Ellie smiles. There is no insecurity, no shyness. Because this is them, and they’ve been together for years now, over a decade. He knows every inch of her like the back of his hand, and she knows him just the same.
This is them.
“So…” she pauses, reaching her leg out and playfully kicking it towards him, then fluttering her eyelashes. “Do you think, with your current skin condition, we can still fuck?”
The blunt question sends chills down his spine and blood straight on down. Niall swallows, because his mouth is so dry so suddenly it almost hurts, and then nods. “I think we can figure something out.”
They do.
Afterwards, Ellie has to reapply the Aloe Vera and then rinse off in the shower again because it somehow got all over her, but it was totally worth it.
They eat the leftover Tagliolini she had sent back to their room from their lunch today, sharing it at the dining room table. He’s wearing a crappy t-shirt that he doesn’t mind getting sticky, and she’s sitting on his lap. They’re eating out of the same takeout container, and Niall notices how little she ate at lunch. And how little she’s eating now.
“Are you feeling okay?” He asks, pausing to watch her. She takes a bite of her tiny forkful of food and swallows it daintily before gazing at him with wide, innocent eyes.
“But of course. Whatever could be wrong?” Ellie asks in a faux accent, and he nearly rolls his eyes at her dramatics.
“You’re not eating like you used to.”
Ellie pauses, staring down at him in the oddest way. She bites down on her lip and tilts her head to the side, eyes darting with his. “Well,” she starts, and then stops again. “I’m just not hungry like I used to be.”
Niall nods his head, pressing his lips together. Her nostrils didn’t flare, and her voice didn’t waver. So why does he still get the feeling that she’s not telling him the full story?
They finish eating their leftovers in silence, though Ellie stops a good few minutes before the container is empty. She gets up off of him and strolls towards the doors that open to the lanai and pushes them open. She’s stepping outside, in her plaid pajama shorts and tank top, before he can say anything.
Niall tosses the container in the garbage and follows her outside into the lanai. Beyond it is the gardens they have access to. They’re beautiful in the sunlight, but here, under the moon…incandescent is the only word he can use to describe it. And Ellie, standing there under the moonlight, too…
Her back is towards him, like she’s examining a distant area, and nothing can distract her from it. The closer he gets, the more he notices: the upwards tilt to her head, the open, unguarded way she’s standing. Ellie is looking up at the moon, and from the way she’s shining as she looks up at it, it’s almost like the moon is shining back, a reaction to her.
The stars blanket the surrounding darkness like fireflies, though theirs is a constant shine. It’s not something they can see in London – the smog has covered up the night sky for years now, and in order to see it, they have to travel miles away from the city. Here, it’s open and waiting, and Niall has the strangest urge to reach up and see if he can pluck a star from the sky above. They look so close.
Instead, he stops by Ellie and wraps his arm around her waist, tilting his head up to look where she’s looking, trying to see what has her so mesmerized. She leans into him, an encouragement. But Niall can see nothing but the shining night sky, surrounding them so completely.
Maybe that’s all it is, anyway.
“You haven’t talked to me in a week.”
Ellie is angry. Her fists are clenched, and they keep twitching where they lay next to her pockets. Niall’s eyes are drawn to them constantly, even as the time stretches on. He sighs then, and steps aside to let her inside his apartment.
Even how she walks inside expresses her anger towards him. Her steps are sharp and short, staccato. Her shoes smack down on the wooden floor, creating a slapping sound. She pauses just inside his apartment and stares balefully at him, not blinking.
He deserves this, he knows. He deserves her anger, and if she were to slap him right now, well, he wouldn’t complain.
Because it’s true. He hasn’t talked to her in a week, longer than that really. Ever since Niall returned here to London after the end of the Take Me Home tour, in early November, he’s been avoiding her. Because One Direction has just released Midnight Memories, their third studio album, barely a year after releasing their second. Because their next tour, Where We Are, is scheduled to commence in April of 2014. Because now he’s embroiled in press gigs, over and over again.
Because he’s madly in love with her, and he’s gone from home so often that he practically doesn’t have one. This apartment in London…he’s only in it a few months out of the year, and that would make a relationship difficult, and if there’s one thing Niall knows for sure, it’s that she deserves better.
Because he’s being both selfish and selfless – he can’t give up on One Direction, not when the fans are so dedicated, and his mates put their all into the band. Yet he can’t imagine asking her to make the sacrifices being with him would require.
But how can he possibly put that into words?
Ellie crosses her arms over her chest as the silence stretches on to be so thin Niall can hear it reaching a breaking point. Finally, she shakes her head, and looks at him in such a hurt way that he feels it like a punch to the throat. “Y’know, I moved here partially because of you. Because I really liked you, and I thought…I thought maybe you liked me too.” Niall’s lips part, but she holds up a finger, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Save it. I want to be perfectly clear here that I did not move here on the whim of someday being in a relationship with you. I moved here because I fucking love London, and England as a whole. You are – were, at this point, I guess – a major bonus.”
She takes a deep breath. Niall envies her the movement, because he doesn’t think he can breathe. Ellie…liked him? Even in the past tense, it makes his brain explode. He had never dreamed, in all of the dreams he’s had since meeting her, that she would like him back. Ellie has always seemed on another level than him. She’s smart, and funny, and beautiful, and what universe would allow it?
“Okay. I’ve said what I wanted to say. I am going to leave now.” She pivots on her feet and turns back to the door, striding towards it without a backwards glance. In the back of his mind, Niall can’t help but note that, in times of pressure, she is stone-cold. It makes him oddly proud.
“Ellie-“ he falters when she turns and glares fiercely at him from the use of the nickname, “Elise. Stop. Just one moment. Please.”
She freezes, one foot out the door. Ellie stands completely still, balanced halfway in his life and halfway out of it for good. It’s up to Niall to pull her back in, but only if she’s willing, of course.
Niall takes a deep breath. This is the rest of his life on the scales here. “Elise Williams, I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since I helped you move into your dorm at Harlaxton, and every moment since. And I never thought you would ever, in any alternate universe, feel the same.”
Elise, if anything, looks angrier, but she doesn’t stop him from continuing, so he does.
“I’ve been touring so much this entire year, and we just released another album-“ he can see that she’s about to take this the wrong way, like he’s been ghosting her because of work, which isn’t entirely accurate, so he speeds on, “And I’m going back on tour in April. Okay? Even right now, I’m hardly home because I’m running around doing all of this promotion. How…how in the world could I do this to you, bring you into this insane life where you see me for all of five minutes and then I’m gone for eight months?”
He’s panting at the end, because all of his anger and frustration at the situation has poured out into this speech. Months’ worth.
Ellie presses her lips together in a thin line. “Don’t you think…that it’s my choice to enter into this? That I should have a say in whether or not I get involved?”
Niall pauses. “I never even dreamed that you liked me, Ellie. You are so good, so strong and beautiful and pure, out of my league- “
She cuts him off. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Carry on.” A smile twitches on her lips, and, repressed as it is, it still gives him hope. He can still salvage this.
“I can’t stand the thought of…making you sacrifice so much just for me, and then, maybe someday, it falls apart. And…it was all for nothing. Loving each other, fighting for each other, and then poof. Gone. Over.”
Ellie shakes her head. “I’m a little disappointed, Niall.” She hesitates, her eyes meeting his. “How many relationships have you been in? Real ones.” When he doesn’t answer, she goes on. “I’ve been in two. And my exes and I are broken up for real reasons, because we were young and stupid, and because we grew and changed. But we grew and changed partly because we were together in the first place. Don’t you see? Even if we break up and it doesn’t work out, it’s worth it, because we become hopefully better people by the end of it.” She shakes her head, looking frustrated, like she doesn’t expect him to get it.
Niall’s heart begins to thunder in his chest. “I understand.”
She nods once. “I hope you do. This is my choice, too. It’s 50/50 on this one, and you can’t decide what you think is best for me.”
Niall nods his head. “I’m sorry,” he says genuinely, because he is. Regret is starting to build up in his mind. He almost – and still might have – ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to him just because a preconceived notion that was all in his head. “Can…we try again?”
Ellie tilts her head to the side, considering. Niall drinks her in, how strands of her hair flow down into the royal blue of the pea coat she’s wearing. Her eyes are such a beautiful shade of brown, like mahogany. And her lips, even when pursed in contemplation, are the most kissable he’s ever seen.
For the first time in a long while, Niall prays. He doesn’t pray to anyone or anything in particular; he simply prays for another chance, one that he won’t fuck up.
“Yes.” Ellie answers slowly, the syllable leaving her mouth hesitantly. Seeing his excitement, she points at him. “Don’t fucking do that again.”
Before the words are even fully out of her mouth, Niall’s swinging her around his apartment, and she laughs, letting out a shriek of delight as she wraps her arms around his neck. He sets her down, and their eyes meet and lock. This. This is the moment he’s been waiting for. Slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away, Niall leans down and presses his lips softly to hers in a gentle kiss.
She’s so still for a moment that he begins to think that he’s overstepped, but before he can back away, her fingers wrap into the hair on the nape of his neck and her lips move against his. They’re kissing. Neurons are firing spastically, and Niall can feel every inch of her pressed against every inch of him.
Kissing Ellie, Niall decides, is like the world ending and then being reborn. That’s how he feels. The person he was before he kissed her, and the person he is now after. It is fireworks and sparks and flames and every other synonym for desire and passion; all that and a million times more than anything he has ever experienced.
Ellie pulls back to look up at him, her lips slightly swollen from the kissing. She smiles. “I love you too, you absolute nut.”
And love.
Niall laughs and kisses her again, and kisses and kisses and kisses until he’s dizzy with it. Panting, he steps away, because if he gets too close too soon, he might spontaneously combust. But no contact is unacceptable, so Niall takes her hand too.
“So…are we young and stupid?” He asks, smiling widely, with the hope of a man changed for the better.
Ellie giggles, looking down at their joined hands before glancing back up at him. “Of the utmost sort.” She leans up and gently places a soft kiss on his cheek. “By the way, you realize Panic! released an album a month ago, right? I’ll be able to survive off of that high for at least a year. I’ll hardly miss you while you tour.”
Niall looks at her only a little despairingly. “How am I in love you?”
“Are you sure we have to get up so early to do this?” Niall whines as he reclines in bed, watching as Ellie brushes her hair in the bathroom. She merely hums in response, murmurs a quick, “we need to do this before it gets too hot out,” and turns her music up slightly louder, and he pouts.
Ellie had set them up to go hiking at Diamond Head State Monument, early in the morning. He’s still feeling crispy and he’s exhausted – they spent a lot of time in the sunshine yesterday, and couple that with international travel and time changes, he’s not sure how his wife is so peppy.
Niall closes his eyes, trying to rest, but then the beat to a certain song starts and his lips quirk up despite himself. Ellie loves this song.
Sure enough, by the time the chorus has hit, she’s using the hair brush as a microphone and pointing at him, jumping up and down on the tile as she sings along: “So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you doooooooo…you’re worse than nicotine! Nicotinnneeee, yeah you’re worse than nicotine!”
He’s laughing as she swings her hips around, singing dramatically loud.
Ellie is…not a good singer. At best, she can stay on pitch. At worst, when she’s practically screaming the words and just having a good time, she’s hopelessly out of tune and an absolute trainwreck. But he loves it. He loves her enthusiasm, how little she cares about how bad she is, and he can’t help but hop out of bed and sing with her too.
They share the brush throughout the rest of the song, passing it back and forth and then sharing it through the last round of the chorus. By the end of it, Niall is laughing so hard he can barely breathe, and Ellie is in stitches next to him.
“See,” she gasps, placing a hand on his shoulder, “you love Brendon.”
Niall rolls his eyes playfully and chooses not to comment. Instead, he pats her bum and reaches for the Aloe Vera, to apply another coat to the burned skin on his back.
Once they’re both dressed, they eat a quick breakfast delivered by room service, and head out to the car waiting for them. Ellie is clad in navy shorts, a white tank top, tennis shoes, and her favorite pair of Ray Bans is perched on the top of her head. Once they’re both seated, she pulls sunblock out of her string backpack and hands it to him, throwing a weighted look at his already-red shoulders, and then lifts a brow. Begrudgingly, Niall begins to rub the sunblock onto his skin.
As soon as they’re both properly sun-blocked, she puts the tube back in her backpack. “I’ve got a few water bottles in here as well,” she tells him as she pulls it closed, setting it on her knees. “The hike should be about an hour and a half to two hours round trip. But it’s beautiful at the top, from what I’ve heard. It’s so good that the United States Military actually used it as a post to watch for attack. It should be worth it.”
Niall smiles at the fun fact, leaning in to press a kiss to her head. “It will be.” She’s such a nerd.
He enjoys the exercise, the chance to get outside and notice things. The fresh air, the invigorating walk, the sights…he’s actually quite excited, despite the early hour.
Once they get to the State Park, they pay the fee necessary to get in. They take their bags and make their way to the trail head, Ellie pausing to double and triple check that she has everything. “It looks like it gets a little strenuous,” Niall points out, reading the sign placed by the starting point. “Obviously the way up is mostly an ascent, and there are 99 steep steps to get to the top.”
Ellie pokes his side. “Well, I feel like we’re both in pretty good shape, so we should be fine.”
He chuckles and nods in agreement, and she looks briefly dazed, like she’s experienced some sort of shock. “What kind of look is that?”
She smiles and shakes her head. “I just love your laugh, that’s all,” she murmurs softly, and before he can say anything about it, she takes off down the trail. Niall has no choice but to jog after her.
It’s gorgeous, every inch of it. Diamond Head is shaped like a ring, sort of like an atoll but on land, or at least that’s how Ellie explains in. First, they have to make their way towards that ring from inside of it, and then eventually up it. The trail cuts through what he likes to call a golden field of long grass. Over the sound of the wind rustling through it, Niall can hear the sound of the Pacific crashing against the shore.
Everything is great, to start with. He walks next to Ellie, fingers occasionally brushing, and they help each other over some of the rocks in the pathway. Slowly, as the trail gets more difficult, he notices a couple small things. Ellie’s breathing is growing more and more labored as time goes on. She starts to walk a little more slowly, too.
By the time they’ve made it to the foot of the staircase up to the top, she’s dragging. “Babe, are you okay?” Niall asks, genuinely concerned. Ellie isn’t normally so tired out by physical activities like this – at the very least, she can tough anything out, especially a hike. “Do you want to turn back? We can go back now.”
Her eyelids flutter, and she swallows. She looks pale. “I’m…good. No, I want to make it to the top. The sight is supposed to be unbeatable.” Before Niall can argue with her and suggest they just go back to the hotel, Ellie takes a deep breath and starts up the stairs. He follows just behind her.
She barely makes it. At the top, she has to lean against him. Her breathing is ragged, and if he listens hard, he thinks he can detect some wheezing. “Jesus, love, don’t kill yourself,” he grumbles as he wraps his arm around her waist. “The view isn’t that worth it.” Niall’s joking, because his unease has spiked over the past fifteen minutes – fifteen minutes, all to walk up 99 stairs. Which he’s not judging exactly, but he feels like it shouldn’t have taken so long – but Ellie breathes out a laugh.
The view is incredible, though.
The Pacific Ocean lays before them, turquoise and sparkling. Behind, and to their right and left, is Honolulu. They’re high up enough that they can see the city fairly well, though Niall’s interest is mostly on the ocean.
Ellie is staring at the water like it’s her salvation. Her eyes are huge, and she’s gripping the black railing in front of her like a lifeline. He wonders, briefly, if she’s about to leap over the edge and go rolling down to meet the water’s edge.
She leans further into him and he takes her weight, intensely disliking how hard her breathing is still. “Something is wrong with you,” Niall says quietly, and waits for her to either confirm or deny. Instead she remains quiet, letting the wind answer for her. It howls in his ears, and he doesn’t like that sound either – like a mournful soul, wailing for them to join it in the ocean depths below.
Ellie remains quiet as they stand there for long minutes, simply taking in the view. She doesn’t move away from him though, and he doesn’t bring it up again.
The walk back to the center of the ring is significantly easier. Ellie’s breathing settles, and she manages to move around fluidly. But Niall can see how tired she is, and so instead of hanging around, he loads them both up into the car as quickly as he can. She leans back into the seat and closes her eyes after draining a water bottle completely empty.
Niall glances over at her and then begins to Google things, a dangerous path.
When they get back to the hotel, Ellie hops out of the car with more than her usual pep, and Niall scrambles to follow her. She doesn’t wait for him, nearly breaking into a flat-out run back to their room. For someone who could hardly breathe earlier, she sure can move quickly.
Ellie races into their bathroom and immediately falls to her knees in front of her toilet. And then she begins to hurl her guts up.
“Fuck,” Niall swears, and slides to his knees behind her, pulling her hair back from her face, keeping it trapped there in his fist. He rubs her back soothingly as she wretches, wincing sympathetically.
When it’s over, she rests her head against the toilet bowl and sniffles. Niall reaches around her and flushes the toilet, and she sighs in what he takes as relief. “You alright, love?”
She nods slowly. “Must have overexerted myself. I guess I was too tired from traveling.” Slowly, Ellie extracts her limbs one at a time, testing each one out for stability, before slowly standing up. She stumbles towards the sink and starts to carefully brush her teeth, while Niall remains on the floor, staring at her. Anxiety builds in his stomach, but it’s the good kind, because…
Well.
“Babe,” Niall draws out the syllables, trying not to spook her off. “Are you sure it’s not because of something else? This puking and exhaustion…are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Ellie freezes. Even her toothbrush stills, sticking haphazardly out of her mouth.
Niall continues on. “I know that most women say they get really hungry, but some do lose their appetite, and it does make sense with how tired you’ve been. I really think – “
“I’m not pregnant,” Ellie snaps, then rinses her mouth out in the sink. She looks horrified for an entire second. “God, Niall, if I was pregnant right now, wouldn’t that mean I cheated on you? You’ve been back for four weeks, and it takes around two for conception.”
Niall almost brings up how she had visited him in the States four weeks before that, but this odd tightening feeling in his chest stops him. It’s a feeling he almost doesn’t recognize, but there it is – hurt.
It hits him like a blow to the chest, and he stands up quickly, backing a step away from her. It’s been a long time since she’s used that tone with him, or he with her, and it stings. Not to mention her expression. Especially because he still hasn’t managed to bring up the topic of starting a family with her; and this is how she responds to the mere suggestion of a baby. Their baby.
She sees the hurt on his face and has the grace to look ashamed. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry, babe, I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just…I’m tired, and pregnancy is scary, and I…I’m sorry.” She sounds regretful, so Niall sighs and reaches for her. She falls into his arms, pressing her face into his shoulder and murmuring “I’m sorry” over and over again.
“It’s alright,” he replies after a moment, stroking her back, still shocked. “I didn’t mean to spring that on you.”
Ellie places a kiss on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have overreacted.”
Niall remains quiet for a minute. Then he dares it. “Do you…want to start a family with me?”
It’s something they brought up before marriage, because it’s a smart talk to have with any potential spouse. Niall needed to know if they were compatible in that sense – he wanted kids. He still does. And Ellie, at the time, had said she had also wanted kids. Did that change?
Ellie hums softly and pulls back to look him in the eyes. “Of course, I do.” She whispers, and for some reason, her eyes are watery. It’s been an emotional few minutes. “Baby, of course. I want everything with you. The sun, the stars, the universe. I want it all with you.” Her words make him smile, and he leans down to tenderly kiss the tip of her nose.
“I love you.”
Niall leans down to peck her lips, and feels her lips form the words back.
“I love you too.”
“Hey love, Louis commented on that video I uploaded!” Niall calls from the living room, chuckling to himself. He had uploaded a video of Ellie pretending to sing along to their single ‘Steal My Girl’, specifically Louis’ part, to Instagram. She had danced around while practically shouting the words. It was hilarious.
“Oh yeah?” She yells back from the kitchen, where she’s pouring herself some cereal. Ellie knows exactly where everything is, down to every obscure cooking instrument he owns, and has for years now, but seeing how at home she is in theirapartment is a good feeling. “What did he say?”
Niall grins. “He said that if he ever can’t make a show, you’re taking his spot.” Ellie laughs with him, and pads into the living room, wearing shamrock-studded pajama pants and a grey tank top.
“I expect to be paid for it,” she answers as she plops down on the couch, hissing when she nearly spills her cereal.
Niall leans over and kisses her cheek. “Overtime.”
Ellie smiles and checks through her own notifications, snickering when she catches sight of all of the notifications that she got from her own retaliation video – a snippet of the video where he ran out of the recording studio in his underwear, and proudly declared, “I recorded like this!” to the lads. They had then broken into singing ‘Steal My Girl’. She had captioned it, ‘don’t fight a war you can’t win, Horan.’
It was a well-placed shot, but at least it had already made its rounds on the Internet.
They sit in a comfortable silence, Niall watching a game on TV while Ellie works on her cereal and scrolls through her phone. It’s a good silence, but one that gives him time to think, which isn’t always a good thing.
“Do you want kids?” he asks into the silence, looking out of the corner of his eye to gauge her reaction.
Ellie doesn’t so much as bat an eye. “Of course I do.” She sets her phone down on the coffee table and turns to face him. “I want a few. What about you?” Her attention is completely on him, so he turns to face her as well, pausing the game.
“I want a couple of ‘em too.” He says after thinking for a moment. “I dunno how many, though. When our family feels full, I guess.” This isn’t the first time he’s thought about it, and they’ve lightly discussed this before, but not a full-on conversation like this.
She smiles. “That’s a nice way of thinking about it. When our family feels full.” She stretches slowly, tilting her head to the side. “I’m an only child, and you know, there are some perks to that, but I was also lonely a lot of the time too. I only had my parents for a while, because they worked so much. I don’t want our kids to ever feel lonely.”
Niall reaches for her, and she clambers over into his lap. “Our kids will be spoiled rotten,” he tells her, and she giggles.
“Uh-uh. They will be raised with dignity and strong morals.” She pauses, eyes dancing. “But they’ll know how to have fun.”
Niall shrugs, leaning in to peck her cheek. “Anything, baby.” He collapses back onto the couch, pulling her with him, and she shrieks at the sudden movement. Their lips are mere centimeters apart, and he notes that, stores the information away for usage later. “We’ll have a wonderful family.”
You were in a abusive relationship, when a broken plate triggers your ptsd.
Trigger warning: talk about domestic abuse, cursing
————————
Abusive relationships are one of the most terrifying things to exist, that is why you are lucky to call yourself a survivor. The person that you had previously been “romantically” involved with believed that you shouldn’t be treated like a person. You shouldn’t be treated kindly or even with respect. It started out like most abusive relationships. Your significant other would make sure you cut ties off with everyone that is important to you, but them. They wanted you alone, they wanted you vulnerable before they’d hurt you.
After the only person that you thought you could rely on was him, he’d start to lash out at you. He’d say things that hurt so bad it stung and burned your skin every time you heard it. You were belittled and humiliated constantly. Once the emotional abuse stopped, the physical one began. Slap after slap, punch after punch, kick after kick. It was a daily thing that you feared you’d have to live with every single day. Your boyfriend wasn’t shy about where they’d hurt you either, he would do it at home, he’d do it in public, anywhere and whenever he felt like it. You felt stuck, small and defeated that was until you met Niall.
You were out shopping for groceries with Satan when he asked you to go get some lemons. When you went to pick them out you realized that none of them were ripe enough to use yet so you figured you’d grab limes. They were riper, juicier and in your opinion tasted better. As you were about to put the limes into the shopping cart your wrist was pulled away from it really fast and really hard.
“How much of a fucking idiot do you have to be? I asked for lemons not limes. Do you know the fucking difference!?”
“The lemons weren’t ripe enough.” You whispered.
“I don’t give a damn. Find some. When I ask for lemons I expect fucking lemons.”
“I’m sorry.” You try to wiggle your way out of their hands gently but he only grips onto your wrist tighter.
“Where do you think you’re going? I’m not done with you. Since you’re clearly incapable of doing something I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.”
You feel a single tear roll down your cheeks. Your chest is tight and your heart is beating a million miles per hour. You look at the crowd of people staring and whispering, none of them daring to get in between both of you.
You brace yourself for a hard impact. You hear a basket fall a few feet away and footsteps running down the aisle.
“Don’t you even dare lay a hand on her.” You year a thick Irish accent say. Your eyes shoot wide open as soon as you hear him speak. Nobody has ever stopped and gotten in the way before, you didn’t know how to react. “You must be out of your fucking mind. Who do you think you are? Are you kidding me right now.”
“Why don’t you just mind your own business buddy. This is between me and my girlfriend.” Your significant other pulls you closer, you wince at the harsh pull, his grip never getting any lighter.
The young man reaches out and yanks the hands that were once holding you so tightly away from you. He pushes you behind him, clearly not ready to give up. “Actually, it became my business the second you decided to scream at her in the middle of the grocery store.”
Your boyfriend scoffs. “Touch my woman again and the next hand that I’ll lay will be on you.”
The young man takes a step closer. “Touch her one more time or me and you won’t have a hand to lay.”
You can see your boyfriend getting angrier he’s about to say something but is interrupted by the grocery store’s manager. “You.” She points. “Get out.”
Your boyfriend raises his voice “I think the fuck not lady.”
“You can leave on your own or you can wait for the police to show up and escort you out.”
He grunts. “You.” He snaps his fingers at you. “Let’s go.”
“She’s not going anywhere with you.” Says the young man.
“Fine. You and I both know you’ll come running back to me because you’re worthless and nobody wants you.”
You watch as he storms out of the store and you fall to the floor, sobbing. “Hey. You’re okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” The young man kneels next to you and wraps an arm around you.
“Thank you.” You manage to choke out in between sobs. “Thank you so much.”
And that was the story of how you managed to escape from hell. You were forever grateful for Niall. After the incident you vowed to never go back, however you were too ashamed to face your family and friends for a really long time so you had nowhere to go. Niall invited you to stay at his house till you got back on your feet. Your son of a bitch boyfriend ended up going to jail for an armed robbery and when the judge found out of all his other crimes he had committed no mercy was shown on his sentence.
You got the help you needed to heal physically mentally and emotionally. You eventually connected with your loved ones and you and Niall ended up dating. You still lived together and he didn’t mind, he actually enjoyed you being there with him.
Everything was good. Really good, except for the plate incident that had happened recently. You and Niall were trying to cook a meal when he accidentally dropped a plate, breaking it. You were by the fridge when it happened and for some reason, some instinct in you made you back yourself up into a corner and curl yourself into a ball while you watched Niall trying to clean up the shards.
“Careful babe.” His back was turned so he couldn’t see the position you were in. “Pass me the broom would ya?” When he got no response he turned around and saw you with tears streaming down your face.
“Please don’t hurt me.” You mumble.
He rushes over to your side and you could see something change in his eyes. Guilt? Pity? Anger? “Hon. I would never ever lay a hand on you. I am so sorry for the plate. Please stop crying.”
“I’m sorry.” You cry. “I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He wraps his arms around you and you melt into him a complete blubbering mess.
“I love you so much.” He whispers. “I would never hurt you.”
The thought of the plate gets pushed all the way into the back of your head as soon as you hear those 3 words leave his mouth.
“You love me?”
“Yes. So much.”
You wipe the tears off your face. It was the first time either one of you had said that to each other. To others this wouldn’t have been an ideal time for the first I love you, but for you it was so raw and so perfect and that made it so much better.
“I love you too.” You say as you bury your face into the side of his neck. You two stay like that for a while, your face in his neck, a few tears sliding down your face. He has a small smile on his face, the broken plate completely forgotten about.
You woke up to your alarm at 6:30, and quickly reached over to hit it off before it woke Niall. You started to get out of bed, when you felt his arm tighten around your waist. You rolled over to look at him, “Come on, Niall, we do this every day.” He leaned over and kissed you, “And everyday you leave me. Stay, just this once?” “I don’t know, Ni,” you sigh. “I don’t have to work today, it’ll just be you and me,” he says. You did miss the time when you could spend all day wrapped in his arms. You and Niall hadn’t got to spend that much time alone together in a long time. “Okay,” you cuddle up in his warmth, glad you decided to spend the day with Niall.
You stare up at the ceiling while lying on the bed, your thoughts going a million miles a minute. How could this have happened? Well, you know how it could have happened, but you just assumed that you and Niall were more careful than this. You were always careful even in moments where being careful was the furthest thing from Niall's mind. But one moment, one fleeting moment of carelessness, and now you are staring up at the stick in your hand wondering what the hell you're going to do now. Of course, you and Niall talked about having kids...but that was somewhere in the distant future, not two and a half years in your relationship. You were terrified of what Niall was going to say. Especially if he says he isn't ready to have a baby yet. He's at the peak of his solo career; he can't just step away to take care of a baby. It would be career suicide to walk away now. You hear the sound of the front door open and close, and your heart jumps out of your chest when you hear Niall's voice.
"Love, you home?"
You quickly sit up, clutching the pregnancy test in your hand.
"Yeah, I'm in the bedroom."
"What do you think about trying that new cafe that just opened downtown for lunch? I've heard great things about it."
"Yeah, that sounds good," you whisper.
Niall had gone into the closet to change shirts but once he hears your half-hearted answer.
"Love?"
He squats down in front of you.
"Love, what's going on? What's wrong?" he asks.
You're silent before taking a deep breath. Suddenly, anxiety rears its ugly head, and the tears start to fall. Niall immediately wipes your tears and cups your face.
"Love, what's wrong? I can't make it better if you don't tell me what's going on."
"Do you love me?" you ask.
He looks at you in confusion, "Of course. More than anything, you know that."
"Will you always love me?" you ask.
Niall lifts your hand up and kisses the ring on your finger.
"I believe that's what this means, love."
You nod your head and Niall brushes his thumb across your cheek.
"What's going on, love? Why all the questions?" he asks.
You slowly open your hand to reveal the pregnancy test in your hand. Niall looks down at it a moment before looking back at you.
"Are you pregnant?" he asks.
You nod your head and Niall rocks back on his heels.
"We're going to have a baby?"
"Yep."
Niall quickly stands up and runs his hand through his hair.
"Water...I need water," he says.
You quickly get up from your spot on the bed and head to the bathroom to get Niall a glass of water. When you return though Niall is nowhere to be found. The only thing is a note on the bed that reads the words...
I'm sorry.
You sink to the floor, your free hand clutching at your chest as you feel your heart break. He was gone...
A/N: Here's part one! Let me know if you guys think there should be a part two!
A/N: Another request done. Happy reading everyone!
He flips through the photo album in front, his eyes passing over each of the pictures until he finds the one that he’s looking for. It’s his favorite photo from your wedding day. You had fallen victim to another panic attack moments before you were supposed to walk down the aisle. Your maid of honor, not knowing what else do grabbed him as he seemed to be the only one capable of calming you down. The second he saw you, he pulled you into his arms. His hands cupped your face, and he spent the next few minutes reminding you just how much he loved you and how he couldn’t wait to start the rest of your lives together. Eventually, you calmed down and the photographer was able to capture the precious moment on camera. He still remembers the moment like it was yesterday…
A Few Years Earlier
You’re panicking. No, you’re more than panicking, you are freaking the fuck out. This was supposed to be the best day of your life and you couldn’t get out of your own head. You were fine all morning, until your maid of honor helped you put on your veil. That’s when it hit you, the fact that you were getting ready to spend the rest of your life with Niall. The fact that at some point Niall may fall out of love with you or cheat on you or decide that he made a mistake. The list of things you believe could happen blurs your vision until you see stars. Your maid of honor being the intuitive individual that they are, immediately knew what was happening and quickly ran off to grab Niall.
“Love?”
You were no longer in your room waiting as it had started to feel like the walls were closing in on you. So, you had stepped outside. The second Niall steps outside and his eyes meet yours, he crosses the grass and pulls you to him. You sink into him before calming down pulling away. He puts his forehead to yours.
“I can’t believe I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you. You can’t possibly be real. Someone this beautiful can’t possibly be real, I have to be dreaming,” he whispers.
You let out a small laugh and put your hands on his arms before pressing a small kiss to his lips.
“I’m serious. There’s no way…no way you’re real. That this is really happening. I’ve thought about this for so long, Y/n. I’ve thought about what it would be like to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve thought about what it would look like.”
“And is it everything you ever dreamed it to be?” you ask.
“It’s better than I could have possibly imagined, love. Better than I could have possibly imagined.”
He presses his lips to yours one last time putting his forehead back to yours, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath.
“You ready?” he asks.
“Born ready,” you say, smiling at him.
He pulls away and intertwines his fingers with yours before leading you back inside and to your father. Pressing a quick kiss to your hand, he hands you off. He’s about to head back into the main ceremony area when you stop him with three quick words.
“I love you.”
He turns back to smile at you, “I love you too.”
End Flashback
The two of you didn’t know until weeks later that the photographer had snapped a photo of your precious moment. At first, she wasn’t sure she if she should send it or delete because the two of you were having such a private moment. However, as it was one of her favorite photos of the two of you; she couldn’t help but send it. Almost instantly, it became of one of Niall’s favorite pictures of the two of you. He even got it shrunken down to put in his wallet, he loves how much love is in the photo. Smiling to himself, he glances down at the picture one last time before being interrupted by the sound of laughter.
“Daddy, daddy! Help, mommy’s a tickle monster!” Benjamin laughs.
His son comes running around the corner with you not far behind, the two of you laughing. Closing the photo album, he sets it back on the table before getting up to join the two of you in your playful endeavor. He never thought his life would turn out like this, but he is certainly glad it did.
Niall waits, tightening the clasp of his hands. Tension is radiating off of her in waves, and it makes him sit up straighter. He was right – something iswrong. Her silence and nerves confirm it. He exhales slowly, trying to relax, but it isn’t working.
It could be anything, he thinks, but that isn’t exactly comforting.
Finally, Ellie shifts in her seat and her shoulders slump. Her eyes close, and all of the tension drains from her body, but it’s not a relieving sight. Instead, she looks a little lost. The corners of her mouth are drawn down. She sits like that for a moment before seeming to compose herself together and then she leans forward, looking intently at him.
“I’m sick.” She states, calm and untroubled. Unfazed.
Something cracks inside of him.
Niall tries to speak, and then stops. He swallows. “What do you mean?”
Ellie sighs, pushing tendrils of brunette hair out of her face. “I’m sick, Niall. And I’m not going to get better. It’s…terminal.” She’s glaring at him suddenly, and it’s the angriest he’s ever seen her, and the most exhausted. The kind of exhausted you are when even the rage crackling inside of you isn’t enough to keep you moving forward. It’s not the only emotion there – he sees the anger in her eyes right alongside acceptance and defiance.
He’s so focused on her that he hasn’t noticed how he’s reacting. But then he looks down at his hands, and Niall realizes that they are trembling. He clenches them both into fists and the trembling continues even then, and suddenly his breathing is tight and hard, and everything is blurring. There’s something rising up inside of him – words or vomit or something, he doesn’t know what – and there’s an urgency to it, like if he doesn’t release it, he’ll explode.
He does, but it’s only two words, and it’s more of a sputter than an outburst. “You’re dying.”
Ellie nods, her expression guttering into something akin to despair. “Yes.”
They sit there in silence for a minute, maybe two, just looking at each other. Words. He doesn’t have enough of them, any of them, because his wife is fucking dying and has been and this is the first that she’s told him of it.
He thinks, then, of all of the things that suddenly click together: the gynecologist appointment he had felt was a lie, the decision to not go see Panic! At the Disco, the throwing up, the weight loss, the planned-without-him-vacation-they’re-still-on that Ellie sprung on him when his tour was over. The crying when he suggested that they make a baby.
His breathing is grower harsher with every passing second. His lungs feel like they’re about to rupture. “I…you…you should have…told me. When did you…when did you find out?”
Ellie presses her lips together and rubs at her face, lines forming on her forehead. “I found out in September of last year.”
He was still touring last September. “I would have cancelled everything for you, we could have found doctors, I would have done anything.” Niall’s voice is growing louder with every sentence, and he’s almost hyperventilating. His fists are clenched so tightly that his nails are breaking into his skin. The sting only makes his fury worse. He wants to throw something, break something and watch it shatter. “And you kept it a fucking secret from me?! That you’re terminally ill?! What if we could have fixed it all of those months ago? What if we can still fix it? Why wouldn’t you tell me- “
She lifts a hand, and he stops, chest rising up and down. He’s struggling to breathe. His throat feels tight.
Ellie shakes her head, still so calm underneath the exhaustion and anger. Maybe it’s because she burned out months ago, and he never knew anything about it. “I was dying in September, too. And probably long before that. It was too late. The cancer…it’s already progressed beyond what we can salvage. And I knew…” her chest hitches, and there’s a suspicious shining in her eyes, “I knew you would want me to go through all of those hellish treatments on the off chance that I wouldn’t die. But my quality of life, Niall…I didn’t want that. I don’t want that. It won’t help. Maybe if it had been caught years ago, but at this point, those treatments won’t help. Why prolong a life when it’s just going to be shitty? I’ll be more miserable than I would be otherwise. I would rather spend this time with you enjoying myself and the time that I have left.”
Niall tries to steady his racing heartbeat, but he’s having a difficult time. Because Ellie isn’t wrong. He would have wanted her to try radiation or chemo – hell, he still kind of does. And doesn’t that just prove her right, in some sick way? Who the fuck is he to pressure her into trying a treatment she’s sure won’t do anything at this point?
There is a tiny part of him that still whispers that she’s wrong. Surely this can be fixed. His head is spinning, filling with names of doctors, people who will tell him if he’s right.
“That’s not the only reason I didn’t tell you.” She says and then pauses contemplatively. “I also didn’t tell you…because I knew you would cancel the tour and come right home, and I knew you wouldn’t tell your fans an exact reason why it was cancelled, but then the media gaze would be on us. And they would investigate and find out. And I wasn’t ready for the world to know. I’m still not.” Ellie sounds desperate and pleading now; her eyes are shining with what he can now see is tears. She’s about to cry.
He can’t take it.
“I need…” he shakes his head and gets up from his seat, trying to reconcile who he was earlier this morning with who he is now. Because he is completely different now; all of his hopes and dreams are dying just as surely as the beautiful, lively even, woman is in front of him. “Air. I just…”
Niall stumbles out of the hotel suite, past all of the orchids that are facing almost accusingly towards him. He ignores them, ignores the whisper of a breeze coming from the open lanai to the gardens, and shuts the door to the Orchid Suite behind him.
His legs give out, and he leans back against the door and slides down against it, then thumps his head back into the wood. Staring at the white wall across from him, he thinks he can hear her crying – but it’s so faint – and everything is shattered glass in his hands, cutting and bleeding and tearing him to shreds.
He remembers a saying a teacher said to him once, back when he was a lad in Ireland. It doesn’t cost anything to dream.
Niall thinks of the family he’ll never have, of the light of his life dimming and then forever going out. He tries to contemplate an existence without Ellie, and there’s nothing there. It’s a blank, bleak future. He doesn’t even want to get up off of the soft carpeted floor here – it’s pointless. She’s still going to die, and with her death, every important piece of him will die too, leaving behind a fractured shell.
It doesn’t cost anything to dream. It costs everything.
Hours later, Niall picks himself up off of the carpet and wanders back inside the room. He’s numb. He’s probably hungry and thirsty since he didn’t eat breakfast, but he doesn’t feel it right now. His body is merely transporting his head from room to room, and his mind is empty.
Ellie emerges from the bedroom with red rimmed eyes. She wraps her arms tightly around herself, looking tremulously at him. “I should have told you,” she states, voice small.
Niall stares at her, drinking the sight of her in, from her head to her toes. “No,” he says roughly, and then shakes his head. Instantly he’s moving, wrapping his arms tightly around her and holding her close. She tucks her head into his chest and clutches him back, fingers tightening in the fabric of the back of his shirt. “It doesn’t matter.”
Because it doesn’t. He’s not going to be the asshole who holds a grudge over his dying wife’s head – even if, in the back of his mind, he knows it does matter, and this could have been done differently. They could have had more time…he would feel more prepared, he thinks.
Even though that time would still be tainted with the knowledge that it would eventually run out, an hourglass nearly empty of grains of sand.
He presses a kiss to the top of her head, taking a deep breath, memorizing the scent of her that comes with it. “I love you, Ellie. I’m sorry.” He’s not sure what he’s apologizing for – her cancer, or his earlier outburst. Perhaps both.
She sniffles faintly. “Don’t worry about it,” she replies, and then pulls back to wipe at her eyes. She sniffles again, and then forces a bright smile onto her lips. “Let’s go do something. Okay? I want to get out of the room.”
“There’s an aquarium not too far away,” he murmurs faintly, a sinking feeling in his chest; he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he doesn’t want to go out. In fact, Niall wants to go home to London, where everything is familiar and comfortable, and their friends and family are close.
Instead, they’re isolated from the familiar on an island, and Ellie isn’t going to be around forever. The thought constantly takes the breath out of him, and he’s about ready to crumple to his knees from the weight of it.
But. Aquarium. He can do that. For her, he can do it.
“Let’s get going,” Ellie murmurs, fanning at her face. She avoids looking at him for a second, and then pastes that same smile back on her lips. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” he replies, and a muscle in his jaw twitches with the force that he grinds his teeth together. “I’m good to go.”
“I went wedding dress shopping today,” Ellie sing-songs her way into the bedroom, twirling about the room and kicking her leg out as she does it, like a poor ballerina. “It was kind of terrible. And there are definitely pictures of me going inside the store on the Internet.”
She flops onto the bed face down by his feet, and Niall lifts an eyebrow, amused. “So…why are you so happy then? Unless it’s a front and you’re about to screech in anger.” He’s certainly not worried about fans knowing she’s wedding dress shopping; they posted an engagement picture a month ago.
Ellie rolls onto her back and tilts her chin up so she can peer at him. “No screeching. I’m not a bridezilla yet.” She shrugs and lifts a hand, picking at her nails. “It just…kind of made everything more real. I went wedding dress shopping. That’s something you really only do if you’re getting married.”
“Hey, there was that bride who went shopping and wasn’t engaged yet on Say Yes to the Dress,” Niall points out, reaching down to flick her nose. There’s a part of him that wants to deny that he’s ever watched it, but hey – sometimes those ‘reality’ tv shows can pull you in. It also doesn’t hurt to get an idea of what his fiancée will be going through.
She swats back at him, unfazed. “Yeah, but he did propose in the store, but that was totally fake. I bet you that he had proposed earlier, and they made a deal with the show or something. For drama.”
He hums softly, dips his head down in a nod. “Makes sense. So, it went terribly, though?”
Ellie purses her lips. “I don’t entirely know what kind of dress I want. And I didn’t really feel good in all of them. Some were just fine. Nothing felt like the one.”
“Well, you’ll just have to keep trying, baby. Don’t try on the styles that you didn’t feel good in. We’ve got plenty of time to find a dress and do all of the other eight million wedding-related things we have to do.”
She giggles and sits up, scooting closer to peck his lips. “May 18th, 2020.”
Niall smiles and leans in to kiss her, banishing away the thoughts of what else will happen in 2020: an album release and the start of another, second, solo world tour. For now, work can wait. He has a woman to get married to.
“I’ll be the one in a tux,” he jokes, earning another laugh from her lips.
“And I’ll be the one in white,” Ellie replies teasingly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.
Ellie is entranced by the moon jellyfish, and Niall is entranced by her. They’re in a dark room, surrounded by tanks that are blue-lit to show off the incredible creatures inside. She’s in shadows, the edges of her softened – actually, his eyes are just watering up once again.
The Waikikia Aquarium is beautiful, unsurprisingly. Everything on Hawaii is, from the towns to the sky above. They’ve been wandering around for a while now, and they’ve made it to the jellyfish exhibit. Ellie has been standing in front of the moon jellies, just staring, for roughly five minutes. He thinks she’s watching the progress of a brine shrimp being eaten by one of them.
“I wonder what they think about,” she murmurs into the quiet, tearing her gaze off of the tank to look at him briefly before gazing back into the blue.
“I wonder if they think,” Niall replies, and then cringes at the harshness of his tone. He sounds a little too accusatory right now. “If anything, it’s probably about food. Reproduction. You know, the usual stuff.” He adds on, trying to soften his earlier words.
“The meaning of life,” Ellie muses, her hands rubbing together as if they’re cold. “Reproduction and survival. Wouldn’t you say?”
“No.” Niall presses his lips together. “That might have been the purpose of life back when humanity first started out, but the meaning of life is different now. It’s…love, and happiness, and fulfillment.”
She sighs softly and then turns back to him, stepping closer and taking his hand in hers. He was right, earlier – her hand is freezing cold. He winces at the bite of her skin against his, and then covers her hand with his other one, attempting to warm her up. “That’s much better,” she murmurs, and he isn’t sure if she means his definition of the meaning of life, or of the warmth he’s providing.
Either way, he’s ready to cry in the middle of the jellyfish exhibit, staring at the love of his life.
The corners of her lips tighten, and she withdraws, meandering further throughout the aquarium. Niall follows slightly behind her, noticing her in new ways. He can see the frailty in her now – in the boniness to her shoulders and in the way she walks, like she’s trying her best just to move – that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see before. Just yesterday he had thought she was glowing.
The tears finally fall at the Hawaiian monk seal exhibit. He’s watching the monk seals swim and playfully brush by each other when he feels a bit of wetness on his cheek. Reaching up to his face, Niall blinks rapidly, and finds that he’s crying when he pulls his fingers away and the wetness there shines in the daylight.
It hits him all at once, and he ducks his head, rubbing his eyes with his arm. It’s too late; Ellie has already noticed, and she frowns at the sight of him. “Baby- “she starts, but he shakes head and she falls silent.
“I can’t…” he pauses, his lower lip trembling. “I can’t act like you’re fine. I can’t just pretend everything is normal. I don’t know how you’re managing, but I can’t.” His voice cracks on the last syllable, and Ellie wraps her arms around him, murmuring soft, soothing words that he actually can’t distinguish. He just hears her.
She presses a soft kiss to his cheek, and Niall hopes that the surrounding visitors think that they’re two lovers caught up in an embrace, when actually his life is falling apart at the seams.
“Let’s go home,” she whispers in his ear, and he nods, because there’s no place like home, and he wants to shut himself up in their house and hold her until. Until…
Until there is an ‘until’.
“How are things going, my love?” Niall rasps through the phone, looking down at the piano keys before him. He has one more night to make this song perfect, and then he’s going to perform it for his newly-minted wife. Tonight is his last chance to finish it, and he’s having a bit of a rough time. There’s so much he wants to say to her – how can he pack it all into just one song?
He’ll just have to make an album, then. Slowly, over time. For now, this one song will do.
“I am definitely wine drunk,” Ellie giggles back, and he can hear it in the syrup-y tone to her voice. Not quite a slur yet. “But not too drunk. I’m not going to have a terrible hangover with it. Actually, I’m drinking water right now, and I ate a bunch of bread before drinking.”
“Sounds like your bachelorette party is everything you’ve dreamed of,” Niall comments, grinning. “Wine and carbs.”
“Mhmmmmm,” she hums back. “How’s your bachelor party going, babe?”
“It’s going very well,” he replies, like a liar. In all truth, there isn’ta bachelor party. He got together with his friends earlier in the day, and they laughed and drank (but not too much) and then he came home and continued working on this song. “The lads did a great job.” There’s suddenly loud cheering from the other end of the phone, and he can hear Ellie laughing far away for a moment, and then she’s back.
“There’s no male strippers there, I hope,” Niall chuckles, clunking on one of the keys gently.
“God, no.” She laughs again, and she sounds so happy and buzzed that he can’t keep himself from smiling. “The only man I want stripping for me is you. Nicole just chugged some sort of alcohol concoction all the way down.”
Ah, there it is. If Ellie can use a word like “concoction” correctly, she’s not that drunk. That’s something he’s learned throughout all of the years of their dating. But she is having a good time, which is the point.
“Alright, baby,” Niall says, still staring down at that one key, “I’ll let you go. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“Absolutely.” She promises. “Goodnight, Niall.”
She hangs up, and Niall sighs softly, setting his phone down on the bench beside him. He hunches down over the piano in their living room, setting his fingers properly on the keys, and then looks over the music he had already written, words scrawled along the top.
The wedding is at 4:00 tomorrow afternoon, and he really only needs to make sure the cake is delivered, and the venue is prepared, and then get ready himself.
He can finish this song by then. It might be rough, but he can get it done.
He already knows the title: ‘Elise’. And he has a majority of it written – just needs to finish it up.
Niall’s got this. After all, songwriting is what he does.
There is a lot that goes on when someone is dying that Niall never knew about. Doctor appointments, executing a will, and even tentative funeral plans. All of it is depressing as hell, and the often-gloomy London atmosphere doesn’t help.
Niall learns, as soon as they’re back home, that Ellie has a kind of metastatic stomach cancer. He couldn’t handle learning it in Hawaii. Metastasis means that it has spread around the body and it’s infecting other organs and body tissues. It’s cancer, and that’s the most he can stand to know – the medical jargon doesn’t make sense to him, and he doesn’t think he can bare to make himself learn it.
He looks at Ellie differently, too. There’s a war of protectiveness and sadness fighting inside of him every time he sees her. And the worst part is that she notices the difference, too.
She never says anything about it; in fact, they very rarely talk about her illness at all. They talk about the symptoms, like the vomiting, the weight loss, the trouble swallowing, but rarely the cancer that’s causing them.
“You should play Nicotine by Panic! at my funeral,” Ellie says one morning, after taking a sip of tea. “That’s my favorite song, I think.”
Niall nearly chokes on his eggs. “I’m not playing a song named after a cancerous substance at your cancer-caused funeral.”
Ellie bursts out laughing, and a moment later, he joins in with a moderate chuckle. “That was a good one,” she chortles, shaking her head and taking another sip of her drink. It’s kind of sad, really, that their sense of humor has devolved to this level. And that’s the most they ever really talk about the cancer. It hurts too much, for both of them.
One late, late night, when it’s dark enough that it seems like all light is nonexistent, Niall wakes up for seemingly no reason. When he lets out a quiet groan and rubs at his eyes, he realizes that Ellie is sitting up and staring at the window directly across from their bed. The curtains are still drawn, so there’s nothing to be seen, but she still stares, lost in thought.
“Babe?” Niall asks into the darkness, panic edging his voice.
She turns to look at him, a sheet of hair falling across her face. “Hey,” she answers quietly as she pushes it back. “Sorry if I woke you. I just can’t sleep.”
“You didn’t wake me.” In fact, he’s not sure what woke him up. “How about you come down here and give me a cuddle?”
She doesn’t say anything for a second, and then nods and lays back down, curling into him. He wraps an arm around her and snuggles into her, ignoring how some of her bones in her shoulders jut out uncomfortably into his skin.
They lay there together quietly for a long time, though Niall is positive they’re both still awake.
“I love you so much,” he breathes out, releasing the words like a long-held sigh. “I love you so much, Elise, and I just want you to know that. Nothing has changed that. Nothing will change that. It’s you for me, always, baby. No matter what happens.”
Ellie is quiet, and then she shudders, and Niall realizes with a start that she’s crying. “Oh, baby,” he murmurs despairingly, tucking her closer in his arms. There’s nothing he can say or do – she’s dying, and they both know it. She’s dying, and it’s painful, both physically and mentally. Watching her waste away is killing him, and the thought of the bleakness of his steadily approaching future makes him want to lay down and never get back up.
“I love you too,” she sobs into his chest, clawing at the sheets covering them both. “I love you so much, and I am so scared. I don’t want this. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you and live. There’s so much we never got to do.” All of it is half-unintelligible, but he understands every word she says.
Niall’s eyes burn as they water up, and he fights to keep the tears locked away. “I know,” he whispers back, swallowing harshly.
“You have to promise me that you’ll move on someday,” she cries out quietly, her entire body trembling under the force of her grief – the grief of a life not fully lived. “Promise me that you’ll do everything we never got to do with someone else.”
“I can’t,” Niall says firmly, chest beginning to heave under breaths straining to stay strong. “I can’t promise you that. I can’t, and I won’t. Because you’re mine, and I’m yours, and no matter what, it will always be that way.”
Ellie leans up and kisses him hard, the salt from her tears a sting on his lips. He tilts her chin up slightly and pulls back a moment later, engulfing her in the fiercest embrace he can manage without hurting her. He starts to hum the song he wrote her, ‘Elise’, and he feels her quake with the weight of it.
I won’t let you go. I won’t let you go. I won’t let you go.
May 18th, 2020 is here, and Niall is getting married.
He’s about ready to walk down the aisle and take his place in front of the priest. He takes a look at himself in the mirror, checking himself out in his black tuxedo, and then finger-combs his hair just slightly. He’s got to make sure he looks his best.
“Come on, mate,” Louis jabs him in the arm and grins cheekily. “You look great. Let’s go shackle you down to El, eh?”
Niall rolls his eyes playfully. “Why did I ever make you my best man?”
Louis chuckles. “Because I’m devastatingly handsome, and levelheaded, and pretty smart, too- “
“Shut up. Go take your place, you self-absorbed knob.”
Louis smiles and sets his hand on Niall’s shoulder. “You do look great. And I’m very happy for you and for Ellie. Let’s get you married to the love of your life.”
“That’s a better pep talk,” Niall mutters, smiles, and then spins on his heel to walk steadily out to the altar. The priest smiles kindly at him, and Niall dips his head, turning to face the aisle. He folds his hands nervously in front of him twiddling his fingers together as he waits. He stops to wave at his parents and brother, and then twists his hands back together to prevent any anxious movement.
The music starts not too long after and down walk the bridesmaids and groomsmen. There’s only two, and then the little flower girl (Ellie’s cousin, which was her idea) toddles down the aisle, adorably scattering rose petals all along the floor.
But Niall can’t focus on anyone but Ellie as she slowly steps in time with the music, practically waltzing down the aisle.
He’s beaming before he even fully takes her in, and he takes a moment to wipe at his eyes. They were watering up, and it blurred his sight of her.
She’s wearing an A-line dress – something he only knows because she talked about dress types with him before shopping, definitely not because he watches Say Yes to the Dress – that has peach undertones to it. It’s cinched at her waist with a crystal band, and the top is covered in lace flowers that continue up the straps and trail down the rest of the dress in little bunches.
But the most radiant part of her is her smile – she’s smiling so hard and so wide, it’s incandescent. She is incandescent.
She walks unaccompanied down the aisle, something they had discussed months ago. There would be no handing off the daughter here, because they had walked together into this relationship. She gave herself fully into it, and so did he.
Niall holds his hand out to her when she’s close enough, and she gracefully places her hand in his. It’s only then that he realizes his hand is shaking, but it’s from joy and nothing else.
“We are gathered here today…” intones the priest, and Niall is hardly able to pay attention. Instead, he looks at his bride in full, taking in little details with every glance. The veil she has on has lace flowers on the edges. Her hair is down, and curled into loose, beautiful waves. Her lips are pink, and when she smiles, it makes his heart beat even faster.
Niall blinks, and then he has to say his vows. “Oh,” he starts out, looking a little puzzled. “Sorry, I was a little lost in…” he gestures at all of Ellie, and she laughs, face flushing a delicate pink. “Elise Grace Williams…the first moment I saw you, walking past me at Harlaxton College, I knew you were the one for me. There was something about you that just told me that…you were it. You were the woman I was meant to spend my life with. And these past seven years with you have been the most special and important years of my entire existence. You have been the rock to my storm, the muse for my music, and my best friend. I love you so much.” He takes a deep breath, pausing to wipe at his eyes. Ellie’s eyes are shining too, and her smile is gentle, encouraging.
Luckily, public speaking hasn’t been an issue for him in a long time.
“I vow to always keep your best interests in my heart, and to do things for us, not me. I vow to continue to be your best friend, and always support you, even when you don’t need it. I vow to love you every day, at your worst, at my worst, and every moment in between.” Louis steps forward with Ellie’s ring, giving him a wink, and Niall carefully picks it up and holds it ready. “This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am.”
He slides her ring onto her left hand, and his vows are complete.
Ellie is crying now, tears flowing down her cheeks. But her smile remains, as the priest asks for her vows next.
“Niall James Horan.” She starts, and then lifts a brow. “Since we’re apparently stating full names here.” The crowd laughs, and he chuckles as well, grinning so widely that his cheeks hurt. “I never planned on falling in love with you when we first met. In fact, falling in love with you was a complete and total shock, and some days I still wake up and look at you, and I’m surprised all over again that I’m lucky enough to have you. You are a beacon of positivity, and you have taught me how to love even the most gray and cloudy days because of it. You have brightened my entire life, and I am so completely in love with you that it’s mildly ridiculous. Like, it’s bad.” Ellie laughs, and a warm feeling grows in his chest.
“I vow to take care of you no matter the difficult days that lie ahead, because the good days will outshine them always. I vow to listen to you, because it’s so important to us. I vow to go wherever you need me, because our life together is fluid and it’s essential that we stay together. And I vow to love you every moment of every day, because we are forever, Ni.” She sniffles and then laughs, murmuring a quiet ‘sorry’ before continuing on, as Louis steps forward and hands her his ring. "I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore."
She slides the ring on to his left ring finger, and he beams down at her, taking both of her hands in his. The priest begins to speak again, but Niall doesn’t bother to listen until he hears the words he’s waiting for: “By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
They almost lunge for each other, laughing as their noses bump. But then Niall cups her cheeks and leans down slightly and presses his lips to hers. It’s brief, because there are people watching, and when he pulls back, he slides his hands to her waist and picks her up and spins her around as the crowd of family members and friends cheer so loudly, he’s afraid the windows will break.
They’re married. Finally.
Hours and hours later, they’re home, and Niall is still in his tux, sitting on the bench of the piano. They had agreed to go home after the reception and travel to their honeymoon the next day; that way they could get some sleep in their own home and get comfortable.
“Babe,” Niall calls hoarsely, “can you join me in the living room?”
“I’ll be there in a second!” Ellie yells back from the bathroom. She’s cleaning herself up a bit and taking her makeup off, since it’s messy now anyway. He already helped her out of the dress, and watched as she hung it in their closet, winking at him and teasing him with the phrase, ‘for special occasions.’
He waits, bouncing his knee up and down. When she finally comes out of the bathroom and into the living room, his breath gets caught in his throat. She’s wearing a white, thin nightgown, reminiscent of her wedding dress. “Ah. So that’s what you’ve been doing.”
She smirks and sidles on up to him on the bench, cozily pressing her side up against his. “What’s up, love?”
“I have a wedding gift for you.” Niall says after clearing his throat. “Just listen, yeah?” Without waiting a second longer, he launches into playing the ballad, starting out with deeper notes and layering his voice on top.
He sings, and he plays the piano. He sings about his love for her, about the happiness she brings into his life, and how none of this life that he has would be possible without her. It’s a love song in the truest sense.
When he’s done, after a crescendo to one final sweet note, he’s panting and she’s crying. She embraces him without saying anything, just clinging to him like he’s the only thing that matters. He sighs into her hair, relieved that it’s going so well. “So,” he coughs out quietly, because she’s about ready to break his ribs, “did you like it?”
“Like it? I love it, baby.” She pulls away and sniffles, eyes rimmed in red. “Can we get that recorded? I want to be able to listen to it when you’re on tour.”
Niall leans in and pecks her lips. “’Course, love. It’s our song. It belongs to us. I’ll get it recorded for you, and then you can have it always.”
Her smile is small, but full of joy. “That’s the best wedding gift ever, baby. I’ll listen to it whenever I miss you.”
He chuckles. “Or you could, I don’t know, call me.” He cackles when she punches his shoulder softly and laughs harder at the look she throws at him. “I know, it’s not that easy.”
“You’re awfully busy on tour.” She says quietly, and then brightens up. “But that’s not for a while yet, and we have all this timeto spend together.”
Niall brushes a kiss against her shoulder. “That’s right baby. It’s just going to be you and me for a long time. A looooonnngggg time.”
“Sounds like the best kind of vacation,” Ellie replies, rubbing her nose against his, and then scrunching it up cutely.
Niall stands up and picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder. She squeals and laughs, and Niall darts into the bedroom, chuckling the whole time. He sets her down on the bed, grinning at her while she coyly smiles back.
“We’ve got forever, babe.” He promises, and then leans down to kiss her, smiling at the thought of the future to come.
In a surprise move after nearly two years of public silence, singer Niall Horan released a song near midnight last night. It’s a ballad entitled ‘Elise’, and despite the sorrowful tone permeating it, the song is steadily climbing the charts worldwide.
Fans are streaming it already in support of Horan, as the song is about his late wife, who the song is named after. Elise Horan passed away after a long struggle with cancer five months ago, and it’s obvious that the singer is grief-stricken.
Support him by purchasing the song; there are links below.
All proceeds from ‘Elise’ are being donated to Cancer Research UK.
The End
“I don’t want to lose your touch, I don’t want to hurt this much, I can feel you slipping away…”
