headcanons of what dating the CB scientists is like (+ a few bonus characters)
> Hello, my rubber bats and dead-eye dolls! Dell The Hell-Bell here! (Finally went through on my rebrand, forgot abt Tumblr for a while) and today, I'm gonna make up some Headcanons of what dating different Crash Bandicoot scientists (and a few other bonus characters) would be like! Why did I make this? It' was late when I started writing this, I have nothing better to do, and this returning hyperfixation of mine is choking me alive.
> I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION: THESE ARE MY HEADCANONS. THESE ARE NOT CANON TO THE SERIES ITSELF! AND IF YOU DISAGREE WITH MY HEADCANONS, THAT IS FINE. TO EACH THEIR OWN! (also, I am okay with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism). alright, ON WITH THE SHOW! HEADCANONS BELOW THE LINE!!
Dr. Neo Cortex
Oddly enough, he cherishes you rather closely (for what it's worth with him being a narcissist and whatnot...). He'll get you gifts and take you on dates and whatnot, but his favorite pastime is just being around you if he ever loses to Crash. Just you, him, and a nice puzzle or mystery novel to cheer him up
Dating him wasn't always a breeze. At first, he essentially denied liking you, even going out of his way to insult you in such a creative manner with a big vocabulary like his! But alas, his feelings bit him in the butt, essentially. His feelings hit hard like a truck when in private, and it made him rather petty. And irritable! He couldn't stand thinking about you whilst he was plotting!
Eventually, the damn breaks, and he HAD to confess. He did so in a bit of a dramatic manner, having broken into your place rather loudly on a hovercraft, sure... But it was in the name of love! (And your wall getting promptly prepared and paid off by him)
You're the only person who is allowed to say his middle name, let alone his first name. Most people just call him 'Dr. Cortex', or simply just by 'Cortex'. But you get the delight of seeing him dart up to you when you call out 'Neo Periwinkle Cortex'
He is not one for movie dates unless they're mystery or thriller. If he isn't thinking about what the ending could possibly be throughout the entire movie, then it's not all that good to him. (He ESPECIALLY despises IT, Terrifier, or any movie with clowns in it)
Calls you names like 'darling' or 'dearest'. He's endearing with it <3
He'll often end up starting fights, and he'll take a while to cool off. When he does, he shows his concern and endearment for you, and makes it up to you with a date of sorts (once you apologize ofc)
Dr. N. Gin (aka The Character Ever)
Okay, so it all really depends on which version of him you're dating, allow me to explain:
Classic Timeline N. Gin (Crash 1-3 + 4) would not be used to love (and would doubt that you loved him at first), but he tries to make the most of it. He shows you cool things he makes, infodumps to you and teaches about topics he likes, and will take you to different band concerts to whatever rock band you both like. He's also REALLY enthusiastic, and goes around to show you off like 'Hi! :D This is my girl/boy/theyfriend! :D' to whoever is willing to listen.
Radical Entertainment (Crash Of The Titans/Mind Over Mutant/Tag Team Racing) N. Gin? Fucken NUTS. He would be a bit stand-off like at first, refusing to believe that love was not something he needed or even deserved (due to his mistreatment that he's used to). But once he does manage to soften up to you? He clings on, never lets go. Dates are often just you two, and something scientific or violent (like horror movies, I HC that this version of him adores horror films)
Classic N. Gin would talk out through arguments, and often end up apologizing first. He is ELATED if you ever say 'it's okay, I forgive you' or simply just reassure him
RE! N. Gin would start the fights first. He takes a while to cool off as well, but he will forgive you when he feels like he's no longer in a volatile state
Expect a few unique nicknames or pet names relating to machinery or rock bands. He'd call you things like 'dream machine' or 'nexus'. More plain ones he'd use would be 'dear' or 'angel'.
He'd probably adopt a cat. Whether or not this is an aversion or a magnet for a relationship with him is up to you, but he'd definitely like cats.
Dr. N. Brio (aka I CAN't FIND ANY GOOD GIFS OF HIM)
He's sweet, but fairly protective. After all, he didn't want you to go to Cortex at all while you two started dating because he doesn't really like Cortex (I mean, he tried to back-stab the guy a good few times!).
You help him dislike Cortex slightly less, so that's a mess that was averted. (He still despises him though.)
Rarely has time for dates on account of being a scientist, but for the most part, whenever you two do have time for a date, he goes for something simple like coffee or a library date. Nothing too big, nothing too extravagant, just something simple and down to earth
Starts fights first, and will rarely bring them back up. He is one to hold GRUDGES. Although, he will apologize after about thirty minutes or so.
He doesn't really do nicknames or pet names, but he will occasionally call you 'honey' or 'sweetie'.
ok fr though, he's so underrated, I barely see anything of N. Brio though
Not used to physical touch or PDA. He doesn't get uncomfortable, he just doesn't know how to react on account of Not Being Treated Nicely Before (TM), so a silent 'th-thank you, honey' slips from his lips before he ends up going back to whatever he was doing with a new shade of red blush haunting his face
N. Tropy (YES. I AM COUNTING HIM HERE.)
Bing bong buck, consider yourself one lucky fuck
No, seriously, the only time he might consider dating someone other than himself is one rare sort of time, considering that he worked with (spoilers for crash 4 ahead) AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF HIMSELF TO TRY AND FUCKING DESTROY THE TIMELINE AND REMAKE IT.
So you white-knuckle grip that mf and NEVER let him go.
ok back to being a serious writer, enough joking about
You pray that you do not get flustered easily, because N. Tropy WILL flirt with you whenever he can. He knows that he's got as fuck, and he will use that to toy with you. If you end up blushing and screaming at simply being called 'darling' in that smooth, buttery voice of his? Oh, good LUCK, babe!
He doesn't just fluster you with flirting, no. He has a whole bag of tricks. He'll jokingly be mean to you about something that bothers you just enough to get a reaction, but not enough to be serious. Your height, an interest of yours, how you say something. He likes getting a rise out of you.
Dates are rather extravagant and big. Fancy restaurants and whatnot. What he wouldn't do? Museums. He has the power to time travel! You name a time period and a place, he'd take you there in an instant!
Wouldn't often cause a fight first, but when he does, he'll freeze you in time until he cools off. He'll check in on you and ask 'Are you ready to apologize yet, my love?', and if you end up refusing, then it's another ten minutes for you in time-air jail
Would call you nicknames like 'darling', 'my love', anything that gets a slight fluster out of you and that you're okay with him calling you
And now, my plastic beetles and swarming mice, it's time for the bouns round! where I put all the extra characters that aren't the scientists of the Crash Bandicoot Universe!
Dingodile
Congrats! You get scary guard dog privileges.
He's protective of you. If someone looks at you the wrong way, they will be DEALT WITH. On SIGHT. Someone insults you? Oh look, a hole in the wall shaped like them.
Dates will consist of varying things. One night it's axe throwing and a beer chugging contest, next it's an art gallery visit and star gazing. He does a little bit of both tough and gentle activity.
He WILL cook for you. You may insist on it time and time again, but he'll always cook for you (he does run a diner at the end of Crash 4, after all.) Is it good? That's up to your interpretation of what you think, not the CDC, luv <3
Will rarely start fights. Will apologize after fights, and will even bring you a gift like flowers as an apology if he thinks it got that bad.
Will give you a simple nickname, or usually calls you "sugar", "sweetheart", or something similar
If you guys are cuddling in bed, he 1) snores loudly, and 2) will have you ensnared in his limbs and tail. Good luck getting up to get something to drink, because he is a heavy boi and a heavy sleeper.
Pinstripe Portoroo
You're not just his partner in crime, no. You're now his accomplice. He will not let you out of his sight considering that his work is dangerous, and he doesn't want you getting hurt. Hell, he might even let you in on the crime if he feels like it and if you feel like joining in
Dates are extravagant: dinner, movie, maybe something else like mini golf (he got banned from most shooting ranges on account of him being so damn trigger-happy). Dates are you two doing something big that you both enjoy.
You are the ONLY OTHER PERSON allowed to touch his Tommy gun. He doesn't even let his henchmen touch it, so consider yourself lucky. (And yes, he allows you to put stickers on it if you are a fellow person that puts stickers on things, I understand y'all because I do that shit too)
If he's doing paperwork, he lets you sit in his lap and just pepper his face all over in kisses
Oddly enough, he's a lot more patient with you than anyone else. He often doesn't start fights, and even if he does, he'll end up apologizing once you've cooled off.
He definitely calls you 'doll'. He'll only call you by your actual name when he's either serious or angry at you.
Nitros Oxide
Oh, have fun dating him, because he is kind of a PAIN. If you're not a fellow Gasmoxian, or at least good at racing, he'll deny liking you, and he's gonna be mean about it until his feelings lead to him thinking about you 24/7. And even then, he'd refuse to say anything until you pester him.
He'll brag about you, yeah, but he'd say that you're the best partner and better than anyone else's. He's a sore winner like that.
Dates are varying, depending on mood. A date on a good day is him taking you out racing or showing you different planets he's conquered. On a bad day, where he lost a race or something, expect to comfort him a lot while you two watch a comfort show or film. (just as he is a sore winner, he is also a sore loser)
If a fight were to break out, he wouldn't let up until you either apologize or compliment him. He is very petty like that. It doesn't even matter if he or you started it! He'd also bring up past fights.
He'd call you 'his prized possession', since he won your heart somehow. He might call you 'stupid' affectionately as well, since anyone else who dared to call you stupid had been handled and made a minion on one of his concrete parking lot planets for Gasmoxia. (Rip to whoever insults you, they stuck working minimum wage I guess :sob:)
Also ensares you in his limbs while he's asleep. He also tends to talk in his sleep as well, so get used to it.
Honestly, not much is given to us about Gasmoxian biology, so uh... Good luck with that, I guess?
> Well, that's all for now, my candied worms and ruby skulls! I might make more Headcanons, but as of now, let me know what else you'd want me to HC or write about! (I might even start posting a few fics on here (and maybe on my other account, anonymousegeektrap, for some more spicer fanfics and HCs) Until next time, stay devilish!~
Oops, I meant to post more oc references at some point, but after a while of just trying to put my focus elsewhere, I did have a bit of a side project I was sitting on. I've been meaning to re-introduce concepts, that I've worked on with my family and characters that mean a lot to me. So here's a little something before the events of Crash Team Racing!
----------------------------
“...But if I win...”
“But if I win...”
“I’ll turn your entire globe...”
“...I’ll turn your entire globe...”
“Into a concrete parking lot!”
“Into a----- Sylazide, this is a terrible speech!”
“C’mon, Par, it’s great, it’s grand, an offer no one can refuse!”
“A concrete parking lot?”
“Hhhheheheh~.”
“See, you can’t hold back your laughter!”
“You didn’t deny my points though. You got anything better?”
Supposedly wise words from the real manager behind Nitros Oxide’s legacy. Sure, Velo had been around for longer and called the shots of him and the entire planet, to name an iota of what that guy owned, but he didn’t come up with stuff like this! Now, Nitros Sylazide, the racer’s own offspring, they held themselves to the high standards of working for him. Not that they had to, but they wanted to. He was a true legendary racer, but did he know how to work many cameras at a time? To manage all the business deals that all of Gasmoxia had prepared to thrust at him? No. He tried that.
But deals and the fine print excited them. Though, while their current work wasn’t about the fine print, it had to be something that clicked towards the masses regardless. All of Earth had to hear that they had been graced with the fastest racer in the galaxy, and they couldn’t refuse. Because that would personally suck and be a total buzzkill, for everyone. From their research, aliens hadn’t really... shown up on Earth, some Earthlings didn’t even believe they existed, so there had to be someone truly evil that needed to be stopped, that all those mushy little guys would line up to race.
And that would all make their parent happy. A reasonable cause! They couldn’t help but stare off in pride, not only in themselves for contributing to the speech, but for their parent that they were always happy to help. Though as they rocked back and forth on their cane, Oxide broke out of his own process of thinking to check up on them. Moving his chair to reach them, he placed his hands on his lap, just watching them.
“Sylazide...” He began before his lips curled into a slight frown. “Where did you get the idea of a parking lot?”
Blinking a few times, they focused their eyes once more, starting to grin. “Last time you got road rage.”
“It was not rage, it was annoyance that I didn’t get priority parking.” Oxide stated, pinching between his eyes as he groaned, withholding anger. They were just stating a fact, it wasn’t stirring the pot at all. “Didn’t those people know I was with the Emperor?”
“Y’know how Smello is, Par. Besides, you’re kinda one of the hundreds of people that work for him. Glycmaw was there too.”
“And she got to be closer to the stadium than me!”
“Well, did you see that flower arrangement? C’mon, be a little proud of your own parent. Like I am for you.”
He opened his mouth, jade blush approaching his cheeks. “It... wasn’t that I wasn’t proud of her.”
The nymph shrugged in response, giving him a teasing look. “Oh yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it. Besides, we’re getting sidetracked, my pride in you has to be placed somewhere! We got cameras to set up- and fast before people get wise of us floating in the atmosphere before we’re ready. We can’t risk any actual damage. Greg doesn’t want to hurt anybody unless they hurt you, and I don’t want anyone to hurt Greg.”
A beat turned into a full on silence as Oxide pieced together what they said, what they implied. It was obviously a bit, but the whiplash was still there, resulting in a chuckle from the green insectoid. Never a dull moment on the ship, or in the Nitros family itself. That only further proved itself as Sylazide pulled out a device, pressing on many buttons as floating cameras began to turn on, eventually making their way out of ship and rushing towards a remote spot on the globe.
“Are you certain you have the right spot?” The elder couldn’t help but ask.
“Of course! Pretty easy to track this one girl’s social media to see all the racing they’ve been doing down there.” They responded, before tapping away at their device, eventually handing it over to Oxide. “Here, scope out the competition.”
Taking it in his green hands, he scrolled through what he was shown, sticking his forked tongue eventually in disgust. The fashion, the squishiness of the beings below, the vulgarity of the name ‘Kickass_Coco’. “Ech! How revolting! The way the yellow one looks especially in these photos!”
“And their racing?”
“Leaves something to be desired...” He muttered, disappointed.
“That’s what you’re here for! They’ll race like nothing ever raced before because of the big scary bug from beyond the stars! These guys hadn’t seen aliens before, and this will go down in history!” Sylazide spoke, raising their hand up, before they swiftly took back their phone. Eventually they lifted up their cane, its base retracting before forming into a floating platform, which they steadily lifted themselves onto.
Their motivation and attitude couldn’t help but infect Oxide, as he tapped away at the controls of the ship, viewing the many spots that the cameras were capturing, including a race track itself. Perfect place for his time to shine. He had a smug little grin across his green lips, as their point set in. He was one of a kind, he was always told that, and he was literally going to be that as the first ‘threat’ the planet had seen. As the best racer there ever was. He was going to change all these Earthlings lives and they had no idea... for now.
“Decided they were too ugly to keep waiting?” Sylazide joked.
“Yes.” Oxide responded, with not too much of a second thought. “Okay, it’s more than that but you know what I mean!”
“Power of being a genetic clone~.”
“Not how that works.” He responded, before sighing. “No distractions, Sylazide, not that your input isn’t appreciated. We have to be ready to go soon. They might get slower just waiting for us.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at his joke. “Hovercraft status?”
“Sulfate’s checked it, I think she said it could handle flight.”
“Hologram projector?”
“Nol had it last. Hold up.” Once more, a few clicks on the phone and more devices moved, including a pad hovering above the exit door, and a camera above Oxide’s control pad. Giving a thumbs up, they slid away from the cameras view. “Everything is good to go.”
“Excellent! No more delays?”
“Not like there was, but I get it, the speed need is really igniting. Those pipes are next.”
He giggled at that remark, a bit of smoke rising up behind him before he shook it off, giving a serious expression.
“Good job, Par.” They remarked. “Impressions are everything! You got the speech memorized?”
“I believe so.”
“Including the concrete parking lot?”
“...Maybe.”
They gave a very knowing look, raising their eyebrows, testing him but he tried to be as stern as could be. No goofing off! It was going to be a series of races for everyone to remember.
