Instead of a full review Im gonna do continous chapter studies. This will also go on the family blog @benfamilytime .
Kwik Analysis:
Set boundaries, surrender the try to change people attitude, Dwell in reality.
Deeper Thought and Personal Opinion:
Setting boundaries is an obvious one. If you font have any people will walk all over you. Im currently looking into a book that talks about setting boundaries I feel that it gave a framework but some supplemental material might have helped. Same with surrender concept. I have currently ordered called "radical" acceptance as a supplement to the current framework. Dwell in reality I felt was covered well though. It was straight forward. Look at things with an objective lense.
Its been a week since I posted and well.. I have been pretty focussed on driving change in my life. I began searching through podcasts, soundcloud motivation, reading about mind body connection and more. Really seeking what it means to be me, 100% me, problems, no problems, true to everything in my being. Its been hard because I started being direct (and trying to be tactful with my delivery). Not so easy when you conditioned to filter your responses to people. One of the things that was mentioned in a lot of my research was the concept of Nice Guys. We've all heard the term nice guys finish last... Well who knows?.. I decided to purchase a book by Robert Glover called No More Mister Nice Guy.. and as I began reading this book it took me through the reason Nice Guys exist - some of these were social conditioning, lack of a father figure, controlling mother etc and so many more. It really made me think back in my life to when I began to sacrafice my true values for some sort of alternative gain or fear/conflict avoidance. 2 key situations came to mind. One theme from when I was a child and 1 from my professional life. 1. When I was a child, my parents pushed us to be "the good children" we went to church each sunday, we werent allowed to sit with our friends, we had to sit with mum and dad, we werent allowed (or rarely allowed) to go out with our friends to Mcdonalds afterwards, we had to call everyone mister/mrs - One situation I remember being hit for was I called my soccer coach by his name (instead of mister) and didnt look him in the eye when I said good bye (WTF). I dont know why they were so strick but oh well they were Another situation was common at home, was doing things properly. When doing the washing up, I hated wearing the gloves around my hands. I prefered to drop the water temp back a little and wash the dishes with my bare hand. I would get into trouble for this on a regular basis - even smacked - The water was as hot as I could stand so more when hot enough to wash the dishes in. Over-time I developed a fear of doing the wrong thing. It was wasnt so much the fact that I minded being diciplined but the fact that it was so extreme - I went to school with bruises on me for doing the washing up the wrong way. (WTF) - Take that embarressment into my school dressing room and I got teased.. I just learnt to be Nice to everyone and not be myself or stand up for my independance - FUCKING BIG MISTAKE. 2. I worked in a big US company in their IT department in Sydney. I loved working there. I got into their sales team after about 7 years and I moved from a collaborative environment a game of politics where people were taking credit for each others work, postulating and generally being two faced - this was something I didnt understand or know how to handle. I was responsble for selling large outsourcing deals (50 million and above) at age 24 - Dont know how they thought I'd be good at that but they did.. haha - "I'm 24 years old mister CEO, let me show you how much money I can save you from my YEARS of experience" - haha. I found a few opportunties which the organsation got behind but as our competition was doing everything offshore. I built a simple budget of doing the services offshore vs onshore and this would have given us a competitive advantage (as we already had an offshore business). When I presented it, I was unaware of the politics in the room, my boss had told management it was not possible or do the service offshore - (It was and is running that way today) Over the next week, my access to the corporate systems was taken away and I got a call from my mentor that people we suggesting I wasnt performing and I should keep my head down. This was when I really began to live treading on egg shells and got the concept that I was not Ok how I was - I used to come in and sit at my desk wondering what to do. In the end after almost 9 years I talked to my boss, asked for a redundancy and he said flat no. I resigned the next day and this was a great decision for me.
Can someone do a funny horror fic of Danny and Mindy and their kids at the brownstone home, which was a pet cemetery, with haunted animals scaring them.
what do you think about danny buying mindy a house
Thank you thank you thank you for this amazing question. You’re the best and I adore you.
First of all, I would like to say, as a human being in a relationship, don’t do this. Don’t buy a house without your significant other’s consent. You might think it’s a cute gift but it’s their debt too, now. Shows do this all the time and it’s always ridiculous. I didn't even like it when my partner bought a TV without mentioning it. A house? Fucking forget it.
Seriously, people of the world: Do not ever, ever emulate Danny Castellano’s romantic gestures, unless they involve dancing. That’s it. If there is no hip-swaying, no body rolls, assume that it is a stupid thing to do.
So as for what I think about Danny buying Mindy a house, that’s pretty much it. I think he’s an idiot who needs to learn to use his words. But wait! There’s more! And that’s what I think Danny was thinking when he bought the house. To be honest, that’s probably a lot more interesting than my predictable, feminist thoughts.
The Trope is Gross
My first thought for comparison when I saw this episode was Jim and Pam from The Office, in which Jim bought his parents’ house. Pam loved the gesture, which was lucky because the house itself was terrible, and I spent the entire episode groaning at how anyone could find it adorable. It was huge and impulsive. Pam had never said she wanted to live there. It put them in huge amounts of debt - it’s not like either of them were millionaires. They didn’t own other property so they could keep it as an investment but live somewhere else. In short, it was extremely risky and disrespectful, and Jim got lucky. He was lucky that Pam liked it. Hell, even he didn’t think she was going to for a while there.
So yeah, I groaned extremely loudly when I found out about the brownstone. However, it occurred to me as I watched how different this situation is: Firstly, Danny explicitly says that Mindy has always wanted a brownstone. This was at least an idiotic purchase made with her needs in mind. Secondly, Danny is extremely wealthy, and also extremely stingy (I mean, responsible, whatever) with his money. This is a debt he can cover, especially since he and Mindy aren’t defacto or married yet, so his debts aren’t yet hers. Thirdly, Danny has two other apartments in Manhattan, in case she hates the brownstone. They’re not going to be homeless if she comes home and rejects it. He can fix it up, sell it off at probably an extremely nice profit, and they can pick something else together while living in his apartment.
This was a stupid, stupid thing for him to do. But the truth is, if you are ever going to be this much of an idiot, you’re going to want to do it when in Danny Castellano’s position. He’s covered. This is never going to be a mistake that ruins their entire future.
The Story is Great
What’s wonderful about this on a storytelling level is how perfectly this shows Danny’s character growth over this season.
As Mindy points out to him, it wasn’t long ago that he was “really, really nervous” about having her move into his apartment. It also wasn’t long ago that Danny read in Mindy’s diary that she wanted to be engaged by Christmas - a ticking time bomb that has only been lightly addressed by the narrative since, with no explicit mention of how it’s affected Danny’s decision-making.
For me, the brownstone is the culmination of both of these things.
It is a grand gesture, and Danny loves those. But at this point, Danny must be feeling like his standard gestures are getting a little hollow. He's gone running for a ring before, after all, when he screwed up Mindy's fellowship. Hell, he even jumped straight to a ring when things went south with Christina. In this show's history, a ring from Danny mostly means "I fucked up."
Let's not forget, either, that the last time he asked his mother for the ring, she responded by telling him to fix the problem rather than just try and patch it up with a grand declaration. And whether or not Danny wants to marry Mindy, what he wanted even more was to do what she'd asked of him: to ask her to move in, sometime when he's not really, really nervous.
He's still nervous - he wouldn't be Danny otherwise. But it's the good kind of nervous, because far from a conciliatory gesture, what he's trying to provide for Mindy is something certain to build her life on. He's addressing both issues in one: that she asked to move in, and that she wants to know that this is real. Not just with a ring, but a home, a family home. It is a physical representation of the life he’s building.
The last time Danny bought property was after his divorce, at a time when he was certain he would be single for the rest of his life - so certain that he bought his mother the apartment next door. His home is his vision for the rest of his life. When Mindy asked to move into his apartment, she wasn’t just asking for more closet space. She was asking him to take his plan for the rest of his life and tear it to shreds.
I’m not surprised Danny didn’t want Mindy to move into his apartment. I think, on a mental level, Danny could never see Mindy fitting into a space that was deliberately chosen to help him accept his solitude. When he knew he wanted Mindy, and wanted it to be forever, the first step had to be to find somewhere that could happen.
And Then There's Mindy
Who comes home for a weekend trip to find the perpetually emotionally-stunted Danny Castellano ready to give her everything she's ever asked him for, at the worst possible time.
One of the things I loved most about this episode was how it showed that in any relationship, you're not both developing on the same schedule. Yeah, you both grow and evolve. You're both learning lessons. But those lessons don't match up in a convenient, episodic (heh) manner. Sometimes they outright contradict each other, and you end up lying on a bed with them, confused as fuck and wondering why you bothered working so hard to change in the first place.
The brownstone was the most beautiful way to illustrate that. It's a wonderful symbol of Mindy's goals, the things that in Season 1 she was desperate for, that in Season 2 Danny couldn't give her, that Season 3 Mindy is starting to question the need for. But it's also a perfect symbol for Danny's growth. Best of all, its broken-down glory and endless possibilities leaves us all faced with what it looks like when you're not sure if you and your SO are growing together any more.
And god, haven't all of us in long-term relationships been here, at some point? Haven't we all had conversations with them where we realise we aren't on the same page, even when we'd spent years working towards something we thought they wanted? This brownstone, unlike Jim and Pam's fanservice home, feels relatable and real. It feels uncomfortable. It doesn't fit right. It's come along at the wrong time - somewhat like other recent developments *cough cough*.
So weirdly, despite all my misgivings, and my absolute objection to the entire concept on a feminist level, I'm pro-brownstone. Not as a plot device, but as part of Danny's continued character development and Mindy's Project. And because this is the only time in my life I've seen this terrible, terrible trope done well. TMP has a history of taking tropes I hate and subverting them. I am so grateful to see that this is one of them.
so Mindy and Danny being unsure of what to do next with career and their relationship and saying idk idk ....
Does Mindy being pregnant is like something that helps them decide what to do next? I would think Danny would decide to move to San Francisco to be with Mindy.
It seem like writers just knew and nicely added the pregnancy plot.
So I'm going to put all my cards on the table here, and just... let the shit hit the fan.
I am pro-pregnancy. Yep. I'm super excited. I think it's going to be adorable, and fun, and I think it is both absolutely in-character and a wonderful, natural arc for this couple and this show.
I also think the pregnancy was the least important development in that ep. It obviously was the development with the most permanent, unavoidable, life-altering consequences, but it was not the most important thing we learned. Danny and Mindy arriving at where they need to be to be a functional, permanent partnership, that was the most important thing we learned.
Danny believing he deserves love. Danny believing he has the capacity to change, learn, explore, grow. Danny believing he is lovable no matter whether he chooses to grow or not.
Danny envisaging an entire future for himself that not only involves another human being, but incorporates their dreams as well. His future isn't just 'his life, plus Mindy'. It's their life. Built together - literally. This is important for me because I was extremely squeamish about Mindy moving into Danny's apartment. It never felt right to me. This brownstone is the show telling me I was right: that their space, whatever it ends up being, should be theirs.
Danny having genuine, comfortable friendships with his coworkers. A sense of loyalty towards Jeremy based on more than just the contracts he repeatedly cited. A sense of betrayal that Peter was leaving them - because they rely on each other.
Mindy believing she is worth something professionally, and that her needs and her professional dreams deserve to be met.
Mindy seeing herself not only in terms of her little meatball, but in terms of her career and personal desires. Mindy still considering her dreams for family and how those she loves will be impacted by what she wants.
Danny and Mindy turning to each other for comfort when they are left with the uncertainty that huge decisions bring. Danny and Mindy folding into each other, a mutually supportive unit despite the storm they're in the eye of. Danny and Mindy, honest, heartfelt and kind.
All of that was crucial for the baby to even exist. And that's good, because it means this baby isn't a mere plot point. It isn't an accessory. It feels like the physical manifestation of Mindy's Project for Season 3. It feels like Mindy facing the most important decisions of her life - and facing those decisions with a partner who supports her without eclipsing her.
This episode felt like Season 2. The baby? The baby feels like Season 4.
