Aug 8
it took my aunt telling me she hasn’t heard my existence in days to realize I actually have not spoken a word out loud in really long
seen from China
seen from Austria
seen from China
seen from South Africa
seen from South Korea
seen from Austria
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Belgium
seen from Belgium
seen from China
seen from Martinique
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Ireland
it took my aunt telling me she hasn’t heard my existence in days to realize I actually have not spoken a word out loud in really long
Nice.
I went crying to my mum about eventually caring for my non verbal autistic sister one day and all I got was a 'ive done that before but kept it a secret' like not even a hug. ( Like she usually gives)
I KNOWWWW she is her primary carer and has been for years and probably thinks I'm a wimp for not wanting to be her carer once she's dead. It's hard balancing my love for her with the resentment and anger I have for her.
It has taught me how horrible people can be. Strangers, Friends and Family all with poorly veiled feelings of disapproval or pity.
Some friends of friends and family of friends joke about hurting/ screaming at or killing a disabled kid and it just hurts that my friends allow that near them without fighting against it.
My girlfriend didn't say anything against a friend that joked and I feel sick
There's always a second group chat, it's that I'm not in it
Thank God cause I don't be talking in group chats
sometimes i have the urge to not speak for days. either bc I’m too tired or i just want to stop talking. but people say it’s important to talk. maybe i will do a silent retreat so people here don’t think i’m being rude. thoughts?
I love my mama for many, many, many reasons but one of the sweetest and most loving things she has done (for Little me at least) is learning sign language together with me cuz sometimes when I’m Little I go non-verbal or words are really difficult so using sign helps a ton and lets me tell mama what I want or need without needing to use my words.
It’s also super helpful to talk to mama or let her know I’m feeling little when there a people around.
If you dont support me at my
🗿
Then you dont deserve me at my
🫣🥺😖😏😝
being nonverbal so fucking weird. i can talk but it hurts. i can talk but i feel like my mouth is coated in peanut butter. i can talk but the mouth isnt working today. i have ideas but the brain is elsewhere and the mouth wont co operate