#non-partnering

[cosmicredcadet]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[roses-are-repulsed]

You can be repulsed by QPRs btw. That's a valid form of repulsion. it doesn't matter if it's "not sexual or romantic tho!!!" because repulsion doesn't start and stop at only romance and sex.

Not every aspec has to like the idea of being in a QPR. being repulsed by QPRs is not an anti-QPR stance. it's just a kind of relationship that people can have a multitude of feelings on like any other.

[neopronouns]

flag id: a flag with 9 vertical stripes, with the fourth and sixth being much smaller than the rest. they are black, very dark faded teal, dark teal, silver, silver-white, silver, dark faded blue, very dark dull blue, and black. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

attrelavoid: being anattractional, non-partnering, loveless, and relationship-averse

[pt: attrelavoid: being anattractional, non-partnering, loveless, and relationship-averse. end pt]

for 🐛☀️ anon! i took inspiration from the anattractional (+ my anattgender), non-partnering, loveless anattractional, and relationship-averse (+ this redesign) flags.

the term is 'attr' from 'attraction', 'rela' from 'relationship', + 'void'!

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks, @orientation-archive

tags cont: @maggore, @dragonpride17

dni link

[papercranesandpride]

Here's a PSA for all the non-partnering aros out there: if you have some savings you can spend? Get a will, living will, and power of attorney, or whatever the equivalents in your country are. Now. I promise it isn't as hard as it seems.

When people die or become unconscious or incapacitated, their legal rights fall to their spouses. If you don't have a spouse, things generally fall to your children or your parents, but it can get messy. So if you aren't married and don't plan to be, there's no real way to know who is going to be put in charge of your assets, your funeral, and potentially your comatose self unless you get the legal documents to determine that. This is how you make sure it all falls to people you trust.

I just got my own done. It took me 2 phone calls, 1 in-person visit, and $850. Mind you, I didn't shop around for the lowest rates because I knew that I could afford whatever it was going to cost. I know it can be done cheaper.

Now, I know that even if I'm not conscious, my transphobic parents have absolutely no control over me. My lovely sister is in charge of everything, and if she's not around, my aunt. I'm not going to get buried under the wrong name. I don't need to worry that if I'm in a coma, some doctor will suggest that maybe taking me off T will fix everything and my parents will be all too happy to comply. And as a bonus, I can make sure that my younger brother inherits all my savings.

It wasn't nearly as hard or scary as hiring a lawyer sounds. It does ensure that if I get hit by a car tomorrow, no one's scrambling to figure out what to do with me.

I understand not spending the money if you're planning on being married within a few years. That is kind of a waste. But if you're non-partnering, it really is worth it. They're all good forever, it isn't difficult to change the will if I decide I want to, and the only reason I'd ever need to change the other two is if my sister died.

So yeah, non-partnering aros, even if you're young and healthy, think about final arrangements and legal documents. For us more than anyone else, it matters.

[walks-the-ages]

If a character is canonically aro ace and repulsed at the thought of partnering, is it less aphobic of the fandom at large to erase this queer identity in favor of generic gay shipping, if one single ace fan claims to have "started" the genetic gay ship that erases the character's specific "aro+ace+repulsed at the thought of partnering" identity, and this excuse is used to shout down anyone who speaks up about the aphobia rampant in the fandom?

"Uwu actually it was an ace fan who started this generic gay OOC whitewashed ship! Therefore its fine and no one is allowed to complain ever!!! Shut up other ace fans you don't get a say if you don't support the mindless generic gay mlm ship!!!!!!!"

Is it queerphobic to erase a character's specific queer identity in order to ship them if you share one facet of their identity but not the whole identity?

Yes, erasing a queer characters identity is inherently queerphobic

ummm excuse me, its not aphobic if the fandom uses ace people as a bludgeon!!!

Voting ended onMay 9, 2025

[thisisindeedasideblog]

the whole "if you notice you partner/friend/family are being toxic and abusive, you should get out" idea is great, absolutely verbally remind people theyre allowed to leave damaging relationships

but

i think theres something to be said about how it puts all the emphasis on the one being hurt. nobody (as far as ive heard) mentions "if you notice that your behaviours are toxic and/or are trending towards something abusive then you need to take responsibility for that and break things off".

i dont know what that discrepancy implies, but as someone that would not be good in a relationship but is still trying to be kind, i think its worth recognisisng that side of things. like yes, you can be trying to be a good person and still hurt people and its not just the responsibility of the people you hurt to get safe, its your responsibility too. sure, abusive assholes that dont do any self-reflection wont listen to that sentiment anyway but im also not talking about abusive assholes that dont do any self-reflection.

i feel like there might be something about amatonormativity in here, like not being a good match for having a relationship automatically means Bad Person so people are more likely to scramble for a fix to stay in the relationship rather than just admit that this is something they cant do and is damaging. like, sure itll be hard but leaving is also hard for the one being hurt, why should that weight all be (socially) put on them?

[mogai-headcanons]

icon id: 2 icons in a pair. both have the listed flags in order in the background and the left has an image of the listed character with a white outline and a black shadow.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

Luca from Pokemon Duel is a non-partnering platolovian songum pan aroace transfeminine transseresine seresgender demifeminine monultiaspec alhintwined adpetspace humanmore earthling aeriling who uses hope/hopes, they/them, she/her, and life/lifes pronouns and switches between I/me and we us!

dni link