#non-violent communication

[raffaellopalandri]

Book of the Day - What We Say Matters

Today’s Book of the Day is What we say matters, written by Judith Hanson Lasater and Ike K. Lasater in 2022 and published by Shambhala. Judith Hanson Lasater is a prolific author, a yoga teacher, and one of the founders of Yoga Journal magazine. She holds a doctorate in East-West psychology and is a physical therapist. She teaches Yoga by mixing asana, kinesiology, yoga therapeutics, and Yoga…

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[decolonizationxabolition]

Transformative Justice versus Restorative Justice, what are the differences?

In this blogpost, I will be unpacking some differences between the practices of transformative justice and restorative justice. I will mostly be discussing how these practices differ on a community level since that is where most of the contrasts lie in regards to how these two practices of prison abolition differ, especially in regards to how they appear within community or movement spaces. I will also be discussing a tiny bit about how I think transformative justice as a practice intersects with decolonization. I also just want to make a disclaimer about how these are just my informed opinions based on some of the books/resources I've been reading, but they're just opinions nonetheless.

What is Transformative and Restorative Justice?

transformative justice: a political framework and approach for responding to violence, harm, and abuse; seeks to respond to violence without creating more violence and/or engaging in harm reduction. ("Transformative Justice: A Brief Description" by Mia Mingus"). I'll link an aesthetically pleasing resource on TJ here.

restorative justice: a system of criminal justice which focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders through reconciliation with victims and the community at large (Oxford Languages); focuses on the harm done to people when a crime is committed rather than looking at what laws or rules have been broken as in a traditional criminal justice system. Those who have been harmed and those who have done harm are at the center of this process (facingforward.ie).

I think it's important to point out that the process of accountability itself between the two is very very similar, I would say that TJ takes things a little bit further because of the fact that it requires harm reduction, which can be approached a number of different ways depending on the harm itself, but I will highlight the similarities between the two accountability processes in the given text below.

What questions do we ask and seek to answer when practicing RJ?

Questions for RJ:

- Who was harmed?

- What was the harm?

- How can the harm be repaired?

- Who is responsible and accountable?

- How can he/she/they repair the harm?

What questions do we ask and seek to answer when practicing TJ?

Questions for TJ:

- How can we respond to violence in ways that not only address the current incident of violence (or harm), but also help to transform the conditions that allowed for it to happen? (addressing the harm + harm reduction)

- What kinds of community infrastructure do we need to create to support more safety, transparency, sustainability, care, and connection? (e.g. networks of safe houses, abundance of community members that are skilled in intervention, etc.)

- What skills do we need to be able to prevent, respond to, heal from, and take accountability for harmful, violent, and abusive behaviors? (harm reduction + accountability)

- What are some of the harmful ways that we treat each other that help set the stage for violence and abuse?

- What do survivors and people that have caused harm need?

One of the main differences in regards to the accountability processes between RJ and TJ is that TJ is more intentional about harm reduction and asks questions about how community members can participate in that, there is a more community-oriented response in addressing harm more so than RJ does. I do think that RJ and TJ can be executed very similarly depending on the given instance of harm and the results of an accountability process. But for example, TJ does look very different in community spaces where survivors have experienced sexual assault, which I will point to in bullet points. I also would like to point out that TJ really focuses on empathy for the person that has caused harm as well.

RJ and it's differences from TJ

addresses interpersonal harm but does not make a point to ask why the harm occurred in the first place.

does not require analysis/criticism of oppressive infrastructures currently affecting communities.

does not make a back-up plan for if and when restoration or repair is not possible.

less emphasis on a strategy for safety.

does not embody a wide array of strategies for survivors of harm on a wider community level.

does not require the use of safe spaces for survivors of harm.

does not require community accountability.

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TJ and it's differences from RJ

consists of creating and facilitating safe spaces, resulting in environments where harm does not exist.

makes a point in addressing and/or dismantling colonial infrastructure that fail to address harm.

requires careful coordination between organizers and community members to create networks or pods of safety for survivors if or when transformation (or an accountability process) isn't possible (this can occur and be executed in community and movement spaces, but mostly can be utilized with people in close relation to another like family members, close friends, etc).

requires communication about the harm done at the community level (usually between organizers and community members in close relation to one another)

TJ is a practice that seeks to create empathy not only for the survivor but also the person that has caused harm as well; seeks to address the root cause of harm to create less harm to create less harm within communities, rather than just solely repairing the harm, but also by analyzing why the harm occurred in the first place.

TJ makes a point to ensure consequences for the person that has caused harm and does not want to be accountable through communal consequences rather than carceral ones (community accountability; the loss of relationships in community, etc).

addresses interpersonal harm but does not make a point to get why the harm occurred in the first place.

does not require analysis or criticism of currently oppressive infrastructure affecting communities.

does not make an extra plan where repair or restoration is not possible.

less emphasis on a strategy for safety at a wider community level.

does not require community accountability.

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TJ as an important practice of intellectual decolonization

decolonization: Decolonization once viewed as the formal process of handing over the instruments of government, is now recognized as a long-term process involving the bureaucratic, cultural, linguistic and psychological divesting of colonial power. (ictinc.ca)

TJ and abolitionist organizing is an important practice of intellectual decolonization (some may argue that decolonization and prison abolition do not intersect, but I would have to disagree with that, which is why I started this blog) because TJ requires for us to critically engage with how different systems of oppression (that we all know are rooted in imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy and ableism, etc) and how these systems are affecting communities at a grassroots level.

(Beyond Survival, published by AK Press)

TJ allows for us to engage with how and why certain cultural or systemic influences are affecting our relationships with one another and resulting in harm within our respective communities. It also allows for for us to tap into a collective re-imagination of the world and embrace new systems that are rooted in our autonomy and require the building of anti-colonial structures that center around our healing rather than our oppression by creating actual safety that is not dependent on the state. And as a result, "undoes" colonialism (to a certain extent) by slowly replacing these systems with sustainable communal systems of safety.

(Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication by Meenadachi)

There are also some TJ practitioners that are deepening the practice of TJ by addressing complex forms of colonialism (neocolonialism I would argue) that may appear in the practice itself. For example, in Meenadchi's workbook Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication, they talk about how the workbook was created as a result of critiques of non-violent communication (which is an important aspect of a TJ process). Meenadchi states that "Critiques of NVC [non-violent communication] are that it is a liberal form of language-policing, that it denies and ignores invisible systems of power [white supremacy, ableism, patriarchy, etc.] and privilege, and that it seeks to homogenize and reduce the flavors of communication... I have often found this to be the case in white liberal spaces that center white liberal politics... This workbook is designed for those who recognize safety in centering queer, Black indigenous wisdom and recognizing ad deconstructing invisible forms of oppression." Meenadchi's analysis of NVC points to the complexity of colonial cultural influences on certain aspects of the practice of TJ itself and how it is important to recognize the flaws of NVC by making a commitment to not only dismantle the carceral state by creating anti-colonial structures of safety, but also by addressing invisible and cultural forms of oppression that are present due to colonization. Which I would consider to be a form of intellectual violence that critically engages with complex forms of colonization that are present in culture today due to neocolonialism.

[doggiedrawings]

COURSES! WEBINARS!

This is a busy month for me not only in terms of commissioned artwork but because I am doing not one, but THREE online courses! These courses are all run by experts whom I respect and admire in the animal behavior/training fields. More information below:

COURSE 1:

Fundamentals of Animal Behavior & Learning by Dr Erica Feuerbacher.  This course is only available via a IAABC membership. (You don’t have to be a professional trainer to sign up. I am not a trainer but am a supporting member)

COURSE 2: 

How to Human by Grisha Stewart. I have had a really rough year with family matters and Boogie matters, and radical lifestyle changes, and I trust that this course will help. One book that Grisha recommended - Non-Violent Communication - has been a lifesaver.

COURSE 3:

Debunk, Support Science, or Tell a Story? - How to Communicate about Dog Training and Animal Welfare by Zazie Todd. This 1-hour webinar is offered through the Pet Professional Guild (I am not a member) I want to know the answer to this question! :)

[wood-mare-sage]

what do you think it's going to take to achieve world peace?

Fucking hell, here come the big questions.

Honestly I think a lot of curiosity would help. The majority of people are much harder to hate when you really know them.

Oh and mandatory communication training. Listening to what a person is saying while keeping them as a whole in mind instead of being focused on yourself and how your opinion differs and what they're implying about you is all wrong. I think non-violent communication has some similar principles if I recall correctly.

Let's keep it at those two for now. ^^

[reinterlacing]

honestly this whole ridiculous situation with these people who would barely be able to communicate about the simplest shit even with a gun to their head, is making me think I should see if I can self-teach on Non-Violent Communication™, so I can more skilfully pounce on the rarer-than-a-blue-moon opportunities when such people are able & willing to hear what needs to be said. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I'm never gonna be able to afford classes or whatever, but maybe I can learn it from videos and reading material.

[flexbringer]

Identity politics would really benefit from nonviolent communication

[parwatisingari]

Embrace The power Of Nothing.

Transform Your Life. Transformation is the genesis of a new realm of possibility. Think about it—most of the time, we operate in survival mode, with all our responses triggered by the need to survive. But transformation comes from a different place—a space called NOTHING. The fundamental state of human existence is to be creative and happy. We are whole and perfect, but the barriers we face…

Embrace The power Of Nothing.

[thisblurbisanerd]

I'm about to order a copy of Non-Violent Communication and just send it straight to my father in law. No explanation. That man cannot fucking listen and its driving me nuts.