#nonbinary probs

[queerzaza]

there's a lot of stigmatization of nonbinary people at my college, because recently people have been latching onto the idea that people here who come out as nonbinary are doing it because it's cool/trendy, or because they want attention. i have very recently started to grapple with the idea that i may be gender fluid/nonbinary, but I'm really hesitant to come out for these reasons. I feel really really paranoid about being seen as dramatic/attention seeking/fake. Any thoughts?

yup, totally common. ppl are always quick to label others as “special snowflakes.” but who cares, you are you and their judgy opinions don’t matter. the only voice tht does- is the one in your heart. you listen to that one and you’ll be alright, dove.

you’ve got to live your life for you and no one else turtledove. it’s the only way to find true happiness. best of luck to you!

[queerzaza]

I'm an androgynous woman/NB person (idk). I'm struggling because I feel like the forms of dress which are coded as 'hot' or 'sexy' for people with bodies like mine, & to the sorts of people I'm attracted to, are the sorts of things I feel very uncomfortable in, because they're read as very feminine (eg lingerie/high heels). As an NB person, what do you wear to feel sexy? Or maybe, how do I stop feeling that as a woman who fancies men, I can't be hot in clothes which are read as masc? Idk. Thanks

you can totes be sexy and attractive in men’s clothes! the real secret is wearing things tht make you feel confident and good. so don’t get all hung up on specific styles, focus on the fit. personally, the stuff tht makes me feel best, are things tht i love and fit my body well, regardless of what they are. clothes don’t have to be tight, just fit to your body and cool to you.

when you find clothes tht fit well- you’ll feel rad and ppl will subconsciously recognize tht and boom attraction occurs. you rly can look hot in a v-neck tee and some jeans! if you feel hot in them, you are hot in them. so, my advice is to buy clothes that you love and tht fit well (or get 'em tailored to fit) and rock it!

as the kind of guy who finds you hot for who you are, is the kind of guy you wanna be with anyways. wishing you all the good luck turtledove!

[ash-nico]

Im getting a scholarship for women in STEM and my school doesnt have any third gender options, always just male or female and Im like ???? I am uncomfy and confused???

[void-witch]

I want small titties and to be thinner / less curvy so baddd

it’s 100% because of dysphoria 

[zenhoe]

My breasts are so engorged it's insane My body can't keep doing this to me like how do I go from an A cup to a C overnight every time I'm PMSing it hurts so goddamn much I hate this I wish I could hack them off all together

[turtleswithtophats]

Don't you hate it when you accidentally misgender yourself because you're so used to people assuming you're a binary gender because of your appearance and just going with it because you're too lazy to actually explain what pronouns you use and what gender you are because they probably don't fucking care anyway??????????

[realmarethari]

A person presenting a hypothetical research proposal in cross cultural class today: “A transgender.” “the transgender”(not like a transgender person, or a trans person, just a transgender.)

Person in another group presenting on the topic of transgender individuals and college social support: “Pretend for a moment you are a transgender person. With a mental illness.”

Person in group presenting about socioeconomic status: “Pretend to be poor for a few minutes”

Me, a person under the “transgender” umbrella (which i asked if they were referring to), with mental illness, on a scholarship for being super poor: wow. i’m really stretching my imagination here guys. it’s not as if any of us could be trans or nonbinary in this room, with a mental illness, and/or poor. it’s not as if all those things are correlated anyway. 

[queerzaza]

zaza, i have a nonbinary parter. i usually switch between calling them my boyfriend and my girlfriend, and they don't really mind, but i've been looking for another term i can use because partner sort of makes it sound cold and formal. do you have any ideas?

sure, here’s some ppl use: Birlfriend; Feyfriend; Enbyfriend; Datemate; Lover; Boifriend; Girlboyfriend; Boygirlfriend; Paramour; Sweetheart. hope you find one that works for you both!