#noncreature

[scatterbugged]

men want autistic women until they start growing mouthfuls of razor sharp teeth and recoiling away from the sun and developing an insane amount of bloodlust and also possibly start transforming into a little bat. men want autistic women but cannot handle their hunger for human essence. the insatiable desire for flesh. don’t say you want an autistic girlfriend unless you’re ready to become her own personal human blood bank.

[magicwurms]

Advent of the Wurm

Look at that consciousness of Mat’Selesnya go! I only just spotted that this must be Rakdos territory! And looks oddly modern and apocalyptic.

I shan’t ring the praises of Advent of the Wurm myself because it seems AJ Satcher has done that job for me at Star City Games! But it’s... a good card. 4 mana, instant speed, dump a 5/5 with trample to block or attack! Plus, it’s a token which has its own benefits (think Esika’s Chariot)

The only place it isn’t so great is in creature reanimation decks where you’d much prefer a proper creature card in your graveyard, or an Aid From the Cowl deck where you want as much as possible to be permanent cards. But compared to most of the wurms I’ve showcased here so far, that cost-to-creature-size ratio is great!

It was first printed in Dragon’s Maze, which is known for being underpowered as a set- which makes this one of the notable Selesnya exceptions. The art here is by Lucas Graciano, who has done a lot of quite... realistic art? I’m especially a fan of Foe-Razer Regent.

[magicwurms]

Momentous Fall

Pictured: not a wurm (as we know them...), but a really decent card in a wurm deck. If you are, like me, running Vito, Thorn of the Dusk Rose alongside your wurms to take advantage of some of their lifegain abilities, it’s even better. Gain a tonne of life and draw a tonne of cards at instant speed, who can complain? Oh yeah, the poor wurm you killed.

Granted, the reason I’d ever heard of this card was because it came in one of the more disappointing Jumpstart packs I opened (the other rare was Ravenous Baloth, which is a bad card even by my janky standards, mostly ‘cos that’s a rare?! Still, it has a home in my beast tribal cube.) but I immediately recognised its uses! 4 mana is a lot to keep open in case of a board wipe, but it’ll really pay off when you do. I can imagine how strong this would have been in Rise of the Eldrazi draft.

Got a spare Worldspine Wurm? Wanna draw 15 cards, gain 15 life, and still get your three 5/5s? And during an opponent’s turn so handsize is less of an issue? Just imagine. If you sacrifice something you can reanimate, that’s good too.

The art here is by the prolific Tomasz Jedruszek, and depicts some people who don’t look very elf-y to me, posing with their eldritch catch. The sky is the real star here though and the feeling of elation is tangible. Tomasz has done some of my favourite art in the game and I’m sure we’ll see him mentioned again...

[allthefic]

Permanent Fixture

Title: Permanent Fixture

Author: linksofmemories

Summary: Derek is Scott's older brother. Stiles is Scott's best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 80,777

Status: Complete

[allthefic]

The Jelly to His Doughnut

Title: The Jelly to His Doughnut

Author: blacktofade

Summary: When Derek moves into his new house, he doesn't expect it to be haunted by a teenage ghost called Stiles.

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 27,569

Status: Complete

[allthefic]

Outrun Your Ghosts

Title: Outrun Your Ghosts

Author: saltandbyrne

Summary: When Derek Hale arrives at the Beacon Hills Young Adult Rehabilitation Center, he plans on keeping his head down and serving the rest of his time in minimum security peace. Stiles Stilinski changes all of that.

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Rating: M

Word count: 19,148

Status: Complete

[allthefic]

Sashay (Stay)

Title: Sashay (Stay)

Author: trieduntrue

Summary: Drag Queens are kind of like werewolves in that they periodically transform into something that can kick your ass. In this AU, Stiles is an up-and-coming drag queen, Miss Julia Styles, who must transform a butch guy into a passable drag performer in order to win a cutthroat competition. Enter Derek Hale, the nightclub's bouncer and the only guy willing to lend a hand.

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 15,797

Status: Complete

[allthefic]

Desperate But Not Serious

Title: Desperate But Not Serious

Author: sofonisba_found

Summary: Stiles is one of the more memorable students in the undergrad Psych class that Derek is assigned to as a TA, and he's not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. But when Derek finds Stiles starring on a certain website, his feelings become much more clear.

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 13,257

Status: Complete