Kiku is working on a post about nonspeakers and how we are perceived by different groups of people, its very slow and brain refuses to type about it so Kiku writing it with Proloquo2go. Have so many thoughts/feelings/ect about this topic, but having an increadibly hard time getting them out. Not exactly sure why. Maybe related to peoples expectations, and Kiku feeling isn't a good writer, and a little bit of Kiku's self esteem issues/negative feelings toward self/imposter syndrome.
But also aphasia maybe. Getting words out, in a way that makes sense to other people and match what want to say is very hard.
But Kiku is working on it. People expect nonspeakers and spellers to be poetic, full of prose and fancy words, and everything they say/spell is eloquent and wel thought out. Kiku is not that, Kiku is crass, and often times vulgar, writing full of spelling errors and replacement words.
But people seem to really like to hear Kiku's words. So Kiku is trying. And Kiku wants to advocate for this community because it is so important to Kiku. Kiku went without reliable communication for too long not to advocate for other nonspeakers, so they don't have to go without a method of communication, no matter what it may be.
What prompted Kiku to make this post is Kiku got called a leader in he nonspeaking community, and Kiku is struggling with that a bit.
Because Kiku has never viewed self as a leader, but then Kiku realised, maybe Kiku is. Kiku advocates for this community, provides information about communication methods, and feels strongly about other nonspeakers and the people who love and care for them, and Kiku's social medias are getting bigger, more people follow Kiku every day, some of them bigger blogs/pages.
Kiku never expected people to listen to Kiku if honest, this was all for Kiku, and still is, but Kiku also shares things from other nonspeakers and shares information and its important. Kiku never expected this.
But Kiku is glad people like Kiku's content and listen because Kiku feels the thing Kiku says are important.
And Kiku will admit that Kiku is different from other nonspeakers, because Kiku can appear to have a lot of speech on a high unreliable speech day, and Kiku struggles with this a bit. But Kiku stands by calling self a nonspeaker, nonspeaking, nonverbal, minmally speaking, all the words Kiku uses.
Because speech is not Kiku's main method of communication and it most often what comes out of Kiku's mouth is not what Kiku wants to say. And Kiku couldn't communicate much until Kiku was 15, but Kiku didn't know that very well or why. But because of how Kiku grew up, thinking was verbal, Kiku struggles with imposter syndrome.
This got much longer than Kiu though. Oops. Kind of a ramble. 😅