#notalwayswhatitseems

[kristaskene]

Look...LOOK AT IT! See the mess! Also, the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. Ack! #notalwayswhatitseems #lifeasmessyasmykitchen #livelaughlove https://www.instagram.com/p/CBVy0c2HSrL/?igshid=1v8vrinkn3gog

[painejones-blog]

Truth is

People tell me that I should enjoy my life, Be thankful for my health and Youth it's easy right! Wrong! What they don't know is that I'm far from healthy, Youth ? Ha tell that to my body! Everyday I suffer in pain from nerve damage in my feet and legs, I struggle just to make sure my husband has a clean home, clothes and a nice dinner to come home to so he can relax after a 12hr shift at a job he hardly gets a day off from! I'm grateful if I don't need to use that blasted Cain to get around. I also have PMLE (look it up) so I can say goodbye to daytime fun during the summer, hell most of the year! So no enjoying my life isn't so simple just because I look fine does not mean that I am. Remember: Some people have disabilities that you can't see.

[outaspaceman]

The model for the previous picture, Shadow Horses. #imnotweirdimgifted #notalwayswhatitseems

[samtastically-samazing]

Dude looks like a lady

       This is a secret that I have carried around for the last year of my life. As have a few other people in on it to help get a sense of peoples reaction. This is an actual true story and I hope you enjoy

         I apologize to everyone who may have been affected by this story. Anyone who knows me knows one thing: I don’t lie. I will always tell you the truth, but for this story? I had to. I couldn’t let people in on something that’s a genius idea created one night after a conversation and drinking. I present an inside perspective of what it’s really like to be a woman.

            My friend Tasha Edwards is a one of a kind girl who is beautiful, stunning, and I would become a full blown lesbian for her for how hot she is. If you look her up on Facebook you’ll see the following stats about her.

       Looking for:

Friendship, Dating, True Love, Random Play, Whatever I Can Get

       Sexual orientation:

Bisexual

       Body type:

Slender

         Height:

5' 6"

       Religion:

Christian/Other

       Living situation:

With Friends/Roommate

        Smoking:

socially

        Drinking:

regularly

       A Little Something More

Turn-ons:

Assertiveness, Body Art / Piercing, Candlelight, Dancing, Flirting, Intelligence, Skinny Dipping, Thrills, Spontaneity

    Turn-offs:

Rude people

Perfect first date:

Drinks, dancing, and fun!

            She sounds like a fun chick doesn’t she?

            Too bad she isn’t real.

            Folks, I apologize for lying to you, but Tasha is actually a male best friend of mine. Before you jump the gun, and think we'll call him "Abner" is clearly a disturbed individual who did this for some sort of hedonistic pleasure: please think again. The reason behind the madness is nothing less than the simple fact we wanted to show the world how sick, and degrading some men can be.

          Abner and I were sharing beers one night and he started bitching at me about "how I pick the wrong men" and "women are superficial". This is a continuous argument between the two of us. I finally said "I wish you knew what it was like to be a woman". Little did I know those words would embark upon this.

            I get told on a regular basis how “beautiful” I am by men, and frankly it gets exhausting. I don’t find myself that beautiful, but I don’t fish for compliments. I see the inner beauty in people, whereas most can’t get past the first layer. I see people for who they are, and will call most men out on that fact. Due to a demand of one of my best friends Sarah, I made a profile on a page to really find out how some people’s minds work. I think the thing about the internet is the fact you remain anonymous. You can send me messages of ‘How much do you charge for a BJ”, and remain completely anonymous. Nobody can reject you to your face, and if they tell you to F off (which I basically WILL tell you to do) you can call me names to save your own fragile ego.  

             Abner  could not understand my whole stance on why women "friend-zone" men, and I told him he had no idea what it was like to be a woman. The things we hear from some guys, and how some of us can’t take it.

Here follows the epic genious-ness of two people, and hopefully something of an eye-opener for some of you.

A Month as a “Hot Girl”

Prologue

            I’ve been single for over a year now. I know what kind of girls I’m attracted to, and they are usually the attractive ones. Hell, to most guys standards, they’re the “hot” ones. They’re outgoing, social, thin, a nice face, and like partying. They’re the wild ones. The ones everyone has told me my entire life are “out of my league”. Funny how hard it is to look at dating as if it were a major league sport, but in reality it’s pretty damn close. I’ve worked hard at the gym, dropping over 100 pounds and gaining massive amounts of muscle, all to no avail. I’m still not the hot guy, and these girls are still “out of my league”. Still, I push forward to one day become one of the “hot guys” and join the league of these goddesses. I just looked at it as a game, a game that I was losing. I envied the hot guys. They were good at it, and they broke the hearts of countless women, then moved on to their next game. I never understood it, and I hated them for what they’ve done. I became the “friend zone” guy. I was the one who countless beautiful women would cry on the shoulder of, seek advice and friendship from, but never anything more. With the work I had done at the gym, I had become not only a “friend zone” person, but someone who could protect, someone who could shelter from the countless approaches, someone who they could trust. Still I could not understand why these beautiful women, both outside and in, would continue to fall victim to these “hot guys”. I looked at it as solely based on physical attraction. That is, until I met Sammay.

            About a month ago I met Samantha Perry, or more affectionately, Sammay Sam. She was gorgeous, one of the “hot girls” I have been talking about. I was amazed at her strength at the way she would show the world the way some of these “hot guys” were on the inside. She would bash them publicly for the world to see. She would let them think they had a chance, then show the world what type of person they truly were. I admired this, and we quickly became friends. I would share my stories, she would share hers. The torment she had been put through by guys was of things I had heard of often. Stories of lies, cheating, abuse both mental and physical, and the worst of all to me, lies about love. This word still holds a special place in my heart, and when it is used without its true meaning it becomes one of the worst four letter words in the English vocabulary. The difference between the stories she told me and the ones I had believed before was that most of these guys were not “hot guys”, they were average looking at best. Hell, some were pretty damn ugly to be truthful! It gave me hope that I could be loved by the women I found truly beautiful. It hurt me knowing the torment she had been through, all caused by guys. The key difference between her and every other woman I had met was that she was able to use these experiences to help others. She would share her stories freely, trying to help other women know they were not alone, and encouraging them to come forward with their stories and heal. Even with all of this, she could still find beauty within people, beauty even I often had a hard time seeing.

            One of the things I admired most was her strength to call out the “players” for the people they truly were. She would give names and stories to the guys who would lie, cheat, and fake their way through relationships, all to help prevent other women for falling for their tricks. Her only reward was knowing she was helping others, and she was constantly disdained by people for doing it. She was constantly referred to as a person who started drama, when in reality she was trying to prevent heartbreak and help those whose hearts had been broken. I will admit, there was always a lot of drama around her, but I loved her spirit and strength so much for what she was doing I could not help but admire her. In her own words, “There’s never a dull night around Sammay!”

            Even with all of the stories I had heard of the severe abuse women had been put through, I still could not see it from a woman’s eyes. I was just a “friend zone” guy after all. How can these beautiful women have low self esteem? They are constantly being told how beautiful they are by men everywhere, even the “hot guys”, so how could they not believe they were beautiful?  This is where Tasha comes into the story.

            After a conversation with Sammay about the constant messages she received on an online social site the idea was brought up that I needed to create an account, not as myself, but as a girl. I needed to see first hand what these beautiful women were going through. We concocted a plan, a social experiment, to which I would obtain pictures from an adult website where guys posted amateur pictures of their girlfriends and create a local girl from them. I spent time perusing one of these sites until I found the perfect group of photos. I found an absolutely beautiful woman, but she was still realistic. The photos were obviously amateur, so they were convincing. We created a full persona for her. Born on July 10, 1988, she was not only a feisty Scorpio by standard horoscopes but also a dragon by the Chinese calendar. She had moved locally to avoid a “psycho ex boyfriend” and thus would be looking for new friends, but cautious of men. She would have a past, a past men could either use against her or to help her, or ignore it completely. Sammay would not only be her friend, but help me to make her believable as a “hot girl”. After all of this, Tasha Edwards was born into the digital realm. What follows is my journal of 30 days as Tasha Edwards. It is the true stories of the messages received, the people met, and the games played. It is the documentation of a male perspective of what a “hot girl” goes through in her every day life. I only hope it can open the eyes of others as much as it has opened mine.

Day One: The Eye Opener

            Within an hour of creating my account, I have already surpassed the popularity my male account obtained in an entire year. Even though I have only sent 10 friend requests for local people including Sammay, Tasha already has over 40 friends, and this is considering that I only accept local friends. Within 10 minutes, I have received messages from numerous men ranging in age from 18 to 40 telling me how beautiful I am and wanting to take me on dates to show me the town. I am being bombarded with anonymous questions, many of which are vulgar. “Do you suck C***?” “What do you think is the one think that would make me want you for a one night stand?” and often just statements like “I love sister F***.”

                        It’s only been two hours and I have already received so many messages that it is becoming difficult to go through them all. It amuses me how many of the messages are from guys whose profile picture displays them with their shirts off. Most of the messages are from guys who are wanting to take me on dates, but quite a few of them are vulgar messages just wanting sex and dirty talk. One message from Tyler of [A city we lived in at the time] said only “Think you could handle 12 1/2 inches of rock hard C*** that's as thick as a coke can?” I have looked up profiles on another popular social site for many of these men and have seen that they are already in relationships and have pictures with their significant others and children, yet they are messaging me telling me how beautiful I am and how much they want to date me. I have counted, and I have been asked on dates by 26 different men. The harassment is already starting to bother me. After telling an 18 year old that I did not date younger men I was quickly called a B****. Most of them I have simply not had time to reply to, and the ones I do I inform that I am not ready to date, yet they are persistent in asking. I am starting to understand why women become defensive about men asking them out, and I definitely understand how women can be self conscious even though guys are constantly calling them “beautiful”. I have already heard this enough times from enough different guys to no longer find it flattering. It is starting to feel more like harassment than flattery.  This is only day one, and I am simply astounded. This is going to be a long month.

Day Two: Ms. Popular

            According to the “popularity” chart on the social site, I am already one of the most popular people in the entire state, and I haven’t even been trying. This is almost frightening, and the pictures I’ve posted are not that provocative, just everyday things I’ve seen other women who like to go out and be social post.

            Another four random guys have asked me out on dates. Glad that has slowed down a bit. Still being bombarded with messages about how beautiful I am, and received another message today that simply asked me if I wanted to “exchange photos”.  I’ve also started to have women approach me, and received my first messages today from a young woman of 19 who would like to meet.

            When I first thought of being beautiful, I thought it would be a nice experience to receive compliments, but this is actually getting depressing. It’s becoming perfectly obvious that these men don’t care about anything BUT how Tasha looks. The questions they ask are meaningless, mostly simply leading up to try and get her to meet them in person. One guy actually wanted to drive from Dayton Ohio, a 4 hour drive.

                                                                         Day Three: Exhausting work

            What I had originally thought would be a fun social experiment has become exhausting work. I am beginning to realize how difficult it is for women to truly find a good man, a REAL man. I used to wonder why it was that they never seemed to give me a chance, but I know it’s because they are exhausted from rooting through all of the trash dressed like treasure that gets thrown at them day after day. I actually had one man who started to seem nice, but then suddenly started in saying “Guess you don’t like romantic guys”. Why did he send this? It was because I hadn’t sent a reply to his last message…in 6 minutes. I keep thinking of all the stories I have been told by the women that have “friend zoned” me in the past. Their stories are quickly becoming more real to me, as now I am seeing it through the eyes of Tasha. This social experiment is quickly taking its toll on my mental state. I am seeing it not only through new eyes, but my own heartbroken eyes as well. I honestly wish at times I could take this further than the digital realm, to actually BECOME Tasha for a day and put these “men” to the ultimate test of meeting like they say. Though I can see how difficult it would be to be Tasha, I am also becoming jealous of her. The envy of the other side is starting to come out, not from people around her, but from myself. She receives constant praise and people of BOTH sexes chasing her. Even though I know how difficult this is for her as I am seeing it through her eyes, I am envious of it. I hope I can make it to day 7.

                                                                  He didn’t.

            After this last paragraph, Abner couldn’t do it anymore. He was so burnt out from 3 days as a woman, that it was like pulling teeth to try to get him to even get THIS much done. I think the positive thing that came from this was he finally realized how disgusting his gender can be at times. Also he learned WHY we keep good guys in the friendzone: because we know the good ones who love us, and they won’t hurt us. We keep you there because we DO love you, and YES we should be with you.

            The problem is we are not attracted to you. Damaged women get conditioned emotionally to think it’s OKAY for men to hit them, or speak to them how some of these guys talk to us. IT’S NOT OKAY. Gentlemen, if you want to get a lady? Speak to her with respect, and dignity. Don’t message her on the internet asking “can you handle 12 ½ inches of rock hard cock that’s as thick around as a coke can”[I had the same guy message me this my first day on the website] because:

1.                          You are not that big. I can promise you that. Unless you measured with the metric system, and are trying to make yourself feel better.

2.                          No girl wants to hear that.

3.                          You will be alone forever, I promise.

            Realistically the whole point of the experiment was to give my friend an eye opening expierence on how twisted people can be. It didn’t end up as LONG as I wanted to be, but I think it was enough to teach someone something. Also goes to show what you put out on the internet can be used by anyone. Some of you may feel like you got catfished so I apologize, but really? Watch what you say to people you don’t know. That cute perky brunette might be a dude who weighs 200lbs, and bench 400 saying how handsome you look.